i just love the fact that he's like an evil spider man

When I was nine, possibly ten, an author came to our school to talk about writing. His name was Hugh Scott, and I doubt he’s known outside of Scotland. And even then I haven’t seen him on many shelves in recent years in Scotland either. But he wrote wonderfully creepy children’s stories, where the supernatural was scary, but it was the mundane that was truly terrifying. At least to little ten year old me. It was Scooby Doo meets Paranormal Activity with a bonny braw Scottish-ness to it that I’d never experienced before.

I remember him as a gangling man with a wiry beard that made him look older than he probably was, and he carried a leather bag filled with paper. He had a pen too that was shaped like a carrot, and he used it to scribble down notes between answering our (frankly disinterested) questions. We had no idea who he was you see, no one had made an effort to introduce us to his books. We were simply told one morning, ‘class 1b, there is an author here to talk to you about writing’, and this you see was our introduction to creative writing. We’d surpassed finger painting and macaroni collages. It was time to attempt Words That Were Untrue.

You could tell from the look on Mrs M’s face she thought it was a waste of time. I remember her sitting off to one side marking papers while this tall man sat down on our ridiculously short chairs, and tried to talk to us about what it meant to tell a story. She wasn’t big on telling stories, Mrs M. She was also one of the teachers who used to take my books away from me because they were “too complicated” for me, despite the fact that I was reading them with both interest and ease. When dad found out he hit the roof. It’s the one and only time he ever showed up to the school when it wasn’t parents night or the school play. After that she just left me alone, but she made it clear to my parents that she resented the fact that a ten year old used words like ‘ubiquitous’ in their essays. Presumably because she had to look it up.

Anyway, Mr Scott, was doing his best to talk to us while Mrs M made scoffing noises from her corner every so often, and you could just tell he was deflating faster than a bouncy castle at a knife sharpening party, so when he asked if any of us had any further questions and no one put their hand up I felt awful. I knew this was not only insulting but also humiliating, even if we were only little children. So I did the only thing I could think of, put my hand up and said “Why do you write?”

I’d always read about characters blinking owlishly, but I’d never actually seen it before. But that’s what he did, peering down at me from behind his wire rim spectacles and dragging tired fingers through his curly beard. I don’t think he expected anyone to ask why he wrote stories. What he wrote about, and where he got his ideas from maybe, and certainly why he wrote about ghosts and other creepy things, but probably not why do you write. And I think he thought perhaps he could have got away with “because it’s fun, and learning is fun, right kids?!”, but part of me will always remember the way the world shifted ever so slightly as it does when something important is about to happen, and this tall streak of a man looked down at me, narrowed his eyes in an assessing manner and said, “Because people told me not to, and words are important.”

I nodded, very seriously in the way children do, and knew this to be a truth. In my limited experience at that point, I knew certain people (with a sidelong glance to Mrs M who was in turn looking at me as though she’d just known it’d be me that type of question) didn’t like fiction. At least certain types of fiction. I knew for instance that Mrs M liked to read Pride and Prejudice on her lunch break but only because it was sensible fiction, about people that could conceivably be real. The idea that one could not relate to a character simply because they had pointy ears or a jet pack had never occurred to me, and the fact that it’s now twenty years later and people are still arguing about the validity of genre fiction is beyond me, but right there in that little moment, I knew something important had just transpired, with my teacher glaring at me, and this man who told stories to live beginning to smile. After that the audience turned into a two person conversation, with gradually more and more of my classmates joining in because suddenly it was fun. Mrs M was pissed and this bedraggled looking man who might have been Santa after some serious dieting, was starting to enjoy himself. As it turned out we had all of his books in our tiny corner library, and in the words of my friend Andrew “hey there’s a giant spider fighting a ghost on this cover! neat!” and the presentation devolved into chaos as we all began reading different books at once and asking questions about each one. “Does she live?”— “What about the talking trees” —“is the ghost evil?” —“can I go to the bathroom, Miss?” —“Wow neat, more spiders!”

After that we were supposed to sit down, quietly (glare glare) and write a short story to show what we had learned from listening to Mr Scott. I wont pretend I wrote anything remotely good, I was ten and all I could come up with was a story about a magic carrot that made you see words in the dark, but Mr Scott seemed to like it. In fact he seemed to like all of them, probably because they were done with such vibrant enthusiasm in defiance of the people who didn’t want us to.

The following year, when I’d moved into Mrs H’s class—the kind of woman that didn’t take away books from children who loved to read and let them write nonsense in the back of their journals provided they got all their work done—a letter arrived to the school, carefully wedged between several copies of a book which was unheard of at the time, by a new author known as J.K. Rowling. Mrs H remarked that it was strange that an author would send copies of books that weren’t even his to a school, but I knew why he’d done it. I knew before Mrs H even read the letter.

Because words are important. Words are magical. They’re powerful. And that power ought to be shared. There’s no petty rivalry between story tellers, although there’s plenty who try to insinuate it. There’s plenty who try to say some words are more valuable than others, that somehow their meaning is more important because of when it was written and by whom. Those are the same people who laud Shakespeare from the heavens but refuse to acknowledge that the quote “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them“ is a dick joke.

And although Mr Scott seems to have faded from public literary consumption, I still think about him. I think about his stories, I think about how he recommended another author and sent copies of her books because he knew our school was a puritan shithole that fought against the Wrong Type of Wordes and would never buy them into the library otherwise. But mostly I think about how he looked at a ten year old like an equal and told her words and important, and people will try to keep you from writing them—so write them anyway.

... Somehow, Still Talking About This Captain America Shit (Now With Bonus Spider-Man and Agents of SHIELD)

So now Secret Empire has revealed its Shyamalan Twist and given the readers a Good Guy Steve Rogers as well as Hydra Cap, and the kinds of dickbags who, when this whole bullshit began were dismissing people’s complaints with “oh come on, don’t you know how comics works, it’s all going to be put back at the end, blah blah blah…” are crowing I-Told-You-So’s.

But here’s the thing:

Yeah, fucknuts.  We always knew this.

Keep reading

The Interview

Requested By: Anonymous

hii, could u write a tom Holland x reader fic with prompts 5, 53 and 57? I’m in love with your tumblr btw🌸

Based off a prompt list linked here

#5 “I made my baby cry!”, #53 “Sit in my lap”, and #57 “You don’t understand, you never do!”

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Description: While Tom was away shooting for Spider-Man Homecoming, he did a few interviews. One where they asked about a funny moment between you and him. He decided to tell them the one time you played a prank on him when you two were training.

Warnings: Just cuteness, it’s super dorky aw

Word Count: 1,654

A/N: Yayyyy! First Tom Holland imagine, I think it’s super cute and dorky omg. I think this imagine turned out really well and idk I just love it ahaha. But fr, I could so see him accidently letting a secret like this slip out bc we all know he can’t keep secrets.

Originally posted by davinaclaires

“Well look who it is! It’s Mr. Spider-Man himself, Tom Holland! Welcome!” The interviewer grinned at Tom, making him smile and give a few waves.

“It’s crazy man, to be here surrounded by all these wonderful people.” Tom gushed, looking around in pure bliss.

You were sitting at home, watching his live interview on TV, laughing at how dorky he was.

You and Tom had been dating for about a year now, you were thrilled when you found out he got the role of Spider-Man for Captain America Civil War, and even more ecstatic when you found out he actually became Spider-Man.

Tom had told you many times how he wished he could be that character, and then his dream came true and you couldn’t have been more proud.

He had been gone for a few months now, filming for his new movie Spider-Man Homecoming, which you were going to drag him to, to watch in the theatres together, whether he wanted to or not.

You were unbelievably proud of Tom, he looked so happy, and that’s all that mattered to you, even if you did miss him a ton.

Your head snapped back to the TV, hearing the interviewer mention your name, a smile creeping its way onto your lips.

This had to be good.

“So, how are you and Y/N doing? Is she at home now watching this?” The interviewer asked, making Tom blush lightly and smile bashfully.

“She’s doing great actually, I love her a lot. It means a lot to me that she’s so supportive and happy for me. She’s the best girlfriend you could have honestly. And yes, she is at home right now,” Tom waves into the camera, making you laugh, “I’m pretty positive she’s watching this, mainly because I told her to.” Tom chuckled, making the interviewer laugh.

“I’m glad you guys are still together and that everything is going well between the two of you.” The interviewer added on, making Tom smile and nod along.

“Yeah it’s great, she’s great, everything is just.. great.” He laughed, motioning to the area around him.

“Speaking of Y/N, I know you two have been together for quite the time now.” The interviewer stated, making Tom grow serious for a moment.

“Yeah, Y/N and I have been together for about a year now, she was there with me when I actually got casted as Spider-Man for Cap Civil War.” Tom smiled, making a heart into the camera, which obviously made your heart melt even more.

Tom was that guy, that even if he was miles away, he could still make your heart flutter, even through a television screen.

“She’s super supportive like I said before, and I just couldn’t be happier.” Tom grinned, running his fingers through his hair messily.

“That’s great, I’m happy for you both. Speaking of Y/N, are there any funny moments you to have together that you’re willing to share?” The interviewer gave Tom a smile, making him laugh.

“Man, this is tough, Y/N always makes me laugh.” Tom smiled, placing his fingers on his chin as he thought about all the moments you two have had.

His eyes lit up, as he grinned at the interviewer.

“There was actually this one moment, Y/N and I were training, it was after we found out I was casted as Spider-Man for my new movie, and I wanted to get a head start on training for it.” Tom explained, already laughing as he thought of the memory.

You on the other hand, were dying of laughter already, you remember this day like it happened yesterday.

“So, Y/N and I were training one day, we were doing an exercise where we were practicing punching, since you know Spider-Man does stunts like that.” Tom laughed, crossing his arms as he swayed back and forth.

“So we were doing punching exercises and I went to you know.. ‘punch her’ and when I did she screamed and held her face.” Tom explained, making the interviewer gasp.

“So of course I stopped and was like ’oh shit! are you okay? oh my god, I made my baby cry!and I quickly took off the equipment to make sure she wasn’t really injured.” Tom explained, covering his mouth with his hands before laughing, as he glared into the camera playfully, making you laugh even harder.

“After I removed the gloves, I told her you know.. come here sit in my lap, and so she did, she was still holding her face, she felt like she was crying and I was really worried I had actually hurt her you know?” Tom laughed, licking his bottom lip as he continued on.

“And then, as I was trying to get her to remove her hands from her face, I felt her start to laugh, and I was so confused.” Tom smiled, shaking his head, as the interviewer laughed.

“I eventually pried her hands away to see she was totally fine, and had gotten me worked up over nothing! I was so frustrated, but she found it hysterical, she was laughing so hard. I remember telling her ’you don’t understand,'  I was so scared I actually had hurt her.” Tom laughed, shaking his head as he looked into the camera.

“But she didn’t care, she claimed that I never do, and by that I mean that I never get her pranks until after she’s done them. You see Y/N is that good of a prankster that she really fools you.” Tom explained, biting his lip slightly.

You were sitting on the couch, laughing at the memory, it was all true, Tom had gotten so frustrated with you, but you couldn’t take him seriously.

You were too proud and full of laughter that he fell for another one of your crazy pranks.

“And the thing is, I always fall for them, I never realize I’d been pranked till after it happens.” Tom laughed, making the interviewer laugh with him.

“You two are definitely a match, the fact that she pranks you that well and you still fall for them shows you two have something special.” The interviewer smiled, making Tom blush lightly. 

“Oh don’t worry, I got her back just as good.” Tom grinned, winking into the camera, making you roll your eyes playfully.

“I don’t blame you,” The interviewer laughed, before looking into the camera then at Tom. “Well, that’s about all the time we have for today, congratulations on your new movie, Spider-Man Homecoming.” The interviewer smiled, shaking Tom’s hand who was smiling back at him.

“Thanks! And thanks for having me, it was a blast.” Tom smiled, waving goodbye into the camera before the interview was over.

You laughed, shaking your head at your TV screen, Tom was such a dork.

Within a few minutes, you felt your phone buzz, only to see you had a text message from him already.

SpiderTom: hey baby did u see my interview? ;)

You: u mean the one where u talked about my epic pranking skills? then yes, yes i did, & I’m ngl i was laughing the entire time

SpiderTom: ur evil you know that? but i love u anyways <3

You: yes, yes i do know >:) & i love u too boo <3

You laughed as you read the next text, a smirk creeping up onto your lips as you replied back.

SpiderTom: you’re going to prank me again aren’t you? :o

You: oh 100%, see u soon babe. ;)

And with that, you shut your phone off, and went to bed, the smirk never once leaving your face.

Onibi Series: Recap

A while back, I answered a question for tumblr user @outerkat that gave an explanation of known information about the characters of the Onibi Series. That information is now outdated, so it’s time for an update!  (As usual, this post was made with the help of @shishikusas​. Bless her heart this fandom would get absolutely nowhere without her.)

This is what we know as of mid-2017.

The canon order of the songs is still:

1. The Spider and the Kitsune-Like Lion

2. The Fox’s Wedding

3. The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance

4. Demon Child in the Clear Mirror (at the same time as #3, in a different location)

5. Beheading Dance

6. Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku

7. Will-O-The-Wisp

8. Star Lily Dance Performance Capital

Time for characters!

Mai Shishikusa

She has two designs. The green-haired one with the bow was how she was first drawn, and its only purpose was to make her recognizable as Gumi. Her canon appearance is the one with long brown hair. 

Mai is a member of the esteemed Shishikusa clan, and after being mistreated by some men when she was very young, she ate them and left one of their heads at the scene. She later devours her own mother, Ryou, during her (Mai’s) birthday party. Delectably morbid.

In The Fox’s Wedding, she is kidnapped by Akari’s brother (we call him Takahiro but he doesn’t have a canon name). She is forcibly fed human flesh (which probably made her cannibalistic tendencies permanent), and it’s likely that she may have been molested at this time, too.

In The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance, Mai goes crazy and begins to devour more and more people.

She is seen as a doll in Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku. Also, Masa has confirmed that Mai and Akari are the characters seen in Beheading Dance.

Star Lily Dance Performance is a dream, a figment of Mai’s imagination. She dreams of a place where she and Akari can be happy together, to comfort herself before she dies.

Akari Oborodzuka 

Her name has been occasionally translated as Zhu Li. Like Mai, she also has two designs. She is the character with red or white pigtails, and her canon design gives her short white hair. I believe that she is, symbolically, the “Kitsune” mentioned throughout the series.

Akari is a member of the Oborodzuka Clan, and is the sole member that is not physically disabled somehow. She endured abuse from her family because of this, and eventually gained the power to make other people hurt themselves.

She imprisoned a violent and evil character named Tsukuyomi inside of an altar in the basement of her home, and I’m fairly certain that this altar is what was commonly being referred to with that recurring line, “Open it?” Tsukuyomi was actually the founder of the Oborodzuka clan, if I’m not mistaken, and is freed centuries later in another Masa series known as Maha’s Story.

In The Spider and the Kitsune-Like Lion, Ryou Shishikusa kidnaps her and tortures her until she dies. At the end of the song, Akari curses her family, saying that this “strange habit of eating people” must be continued for a hundred generations or something like that. This seals Ryou’s fate, and Ryou is later eaten by her daughter Mai as part of this curse.

In The Fox’s Wedding, Akari is alive again. She isn’t involved in Mai’s kidnapping, but I think the two of them might have been secretly married at this time.

Akari is also seen in The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance and Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku, but I’m not certain what her purpose is in these two.

Whether or not she is actually there or only being dreamt of in Star Lily Dance Performance is debatable, but the former is the more comforting option. ;w;

Shikyou the Amanojaku

Shikyou is the Antagonist of the Onibi Series. Her name was only learned recently. This is the Amanojaku mentioned in (you guessed it) Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku.

Shikyou is somehow controlling Mai’s fate. Masa said that Mai and Akari were “doomed never to meet.” It’s incredibly likely that Shikyou was behind this, which would explain why she screams and appears to be very distraught in The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance. If those two hadn’t met, many lives would have been spared from Mai’s cannibalistic tendencies.

Because it was likely a character named Emi that helped Akari and Mai meet each other in person, Shikyou and Emi are enemies.

What confuses me is that even though she seems to be trying to protect the people of Castle Town and must therefore care about humanity, something on Masa’s blog also says that at some point in history, she went on some kinda killing spree? Shikyou’s motives are questionable, to say the least.


For a while we thought that she was the purple-robed Gumi, but that turned out to be Ryou. The lovely @shishikusas talked to Masa, though, and helped clear it up! Emi is the Miku seen in Onibi, but she was given an original appearance in the video for the remix of The Fox’s Wedding!

Emi is, symbolically, the “Doll” mentioned throughout the series. Her ancestors were evil gods, and thus, everyone came to hate her. She bears a grudge against these people, but tries to ignore their feelings at the same time.

She appears ONLY in the song Onibi, and is not to be confused with the other blue Miku character, Kaori.   

All we know other than that is that Masa described her as one of the story’s “Main Heroes.” I think that she’s behind Mai and Akari being able to meet.

Ryou Shishikusa

HOO BOY where do we start with this crazy bitch. Here’s what my dear fact checker had to say about her:

Ryo Shishikusa is Mai’s mother, born into the Onidzuka clan but marrying into the Shishikusa clan through daimyo Tomonari Shishikusa. She has one sister, unnamed, who had a daughter after multiple miscarriages (this daughter is Kaori, the one referred to as the “demon child”). She has a tattoo of a spider on her waist and uses a special knife called “Devil’s Blade” to kill people.

She and Tomonari run a theater in Castle Town (Namitsuki). A lot of Castle Town’s entertainment comes from here. One thing that happens below the theatre is gambling, which Ryo and her husband do with human beings. Evidently, the clans of Castle Town take part in illegal human trafficking of young girls, keeping them under the theater and treating them like animals. 

One day, Tomonari comes to Ryo and says that the other daimyos are becoming bored with the performances and that, for the next performance, someone will be killed for the audience. Ryo hates the idea, but it is business.

Their prisoner, Akari, is thoroughly disgusted and calls Ryou a monster. She says that Ryou is “unable to come back, like us.” Grace and I think that this means Akari has the ability to return from the dead, because that would certainly explain why she is alive later in the series.

Anyway, Ryou tortures and kills Akari before a live audience. After Akari is dead, the blog says (roughly) this:

“I looked aside and saw the surprised faces of the Daimyos. They opened their mouths when they saw me.


It’s hot. 

My face and my hand… are very very hot. 

I was surprised by what I saw on my hand. It was bright red. The small knife in my hand and even my sleeve were red, also, and from the cuff dripped… blood? 

That’s it. I remembered. I tried to kill this girl. 

I looked up at the girl again. Her head was completely downwards and I could see the intestines as I looked at her belly. 

This …was me? I trembled. My heart began to beat almost fast enough to break it.. Unconsciously, I spread my hands and turned to the Daimyo. 

‘Ha ha ha ha ha ha!’ I was laughing.“ 

So yeah Ryou makes a lot of stuff go wrong. Her actions, and probably Emi’s, are what eventually lead to the chaos caused by the meeting between Mai and Akari.

Kaori Onidzuka

This little cutie, formerly referred to as “Etsuko” by the fandom, is Mai’s cousin.

All we know about her is that she may or may not be into killing and torturing animals and that she is the one typically referred to as “Demon Child.” 

Really tho there is like NOTHING on the onibi blog about Kaori so there’s not much to talk about.

Tomonari Shishikusa

This man is a daimyo, husband of Ryou and father of Mai. He must really care for his family, because it was his idea to start killing people for entertainment as a way to bring in more money and he threw Mai a rather luxurious birthday party when the day came. 

So Akari’s curse might not be the only thing that pushed Mai to cannibalism. Evidently, those that turn cannibal sometimes devour parents that pampered them too much. 

The blog says that he and Ryou were having a very important talk with Mai shortly before she devoured them both. Tomonari was eaten first, with Ryou bearing witness just before Mai ate her as well.

Daiji Masaoma

This guy is Mai’s bodyguard. At some point he is found with a large portion of his shoulder eaten away, so it’s likely that he was killed by Mai. we crack ship him with takahiro

Kanishiro Oborodzuka

Here’s what we know about him:

  • He kidnapped Mai from her own hometown, so he’s probably a badass.
  • He has snake eyes.
  • After he kidnapped Mai, he forced her to consume human flesh from the back of a truck.
  • He probably did other unspeakable things to her, but there’s no telling

Here are the headcanons:

  • He does have a physical disability, like his family, but it’s deafness instead of bent/backward limbs or an inability to walk.
  • Therefore, he communicates through others with sign language.
  • He is Akari’s brother, and has red hair like hers.
  • He’s sadistic and cruel, but not as much as Ryou.

But yeah for a minor character, he does play kind of an important role in the story. We’ll probably be hearing more about him later on.


She is Mai’s adopted sister, from the Oborodzuka clan. Apparently she found the dead bodies of her parents after Mai had eaten her fill of them.


Remember, this is the updated info! My old post that says Emi is purple Gumi is WRONG. Hope this helped clear things up!

anonymous asked:

It's been so long since I read the books or watched the movies, could you tell me why snape was a bully, etc? Or give me a link to read up on it? I honestly can't remember anything other than the fact that the patronus thing that helped harry in the woods was snape's

Hi, i’m not sure about links I can actually give you to read up on it because most of the “antisnape” thing stems from people who read the books and have reached that conclusion. I can kinda give you a run down though, but I think the best thing would be re-read the books especially when you’re older and more mature :)

  1. Snape grew up in an abusive household, which many people think gives him the right to be a dick to people because he was broken, but at the same time do not see that Harry and other characters have come from abusive households and did not feel the need to be so hateful
  2. Snape used to creep and watch Lily from the bushes as a child, and when he got caught, he tried to turn her against her muggle family and her sister.
  3. Snape leered after Lily for years, and hated James Potter for having a crush on her as well. I will agree that the marauders were special dicks to Snape and only Snape, which was wrong, but it was also school time and Snape wasn’t exactly the nicest guy either? James and Sirius were compared even by the teachers to Fred and George, and it seems their rivalry with Snape was similar to Harry’s rivalry with Draco. Anyways, the point was that he would tell her off for being friends with Potter and Black, with no regard to her wishes
  4. Snape actively tried to expose Remus as a werewolf and actually ended up doing that because he was resentful. In fact, his prejudice against him was so strong that he made a class of third years look it up just to out him?
  5. He hung around with the Youth Death Eaters Club or whatever and actually sympathized with them
  6. Lily was the only friend he had that wasn’t Slytherin Death Eater and he called her a “mudblood” in a very nasty way as well after he got bullied by the Marauders (who incidentally actually grew up and changed). People don’t just blurt out racial slurs against their friends unless they believed them to begin with
  7. He then grew up and actually actively became a Death Eater whereas the Marauders and Lily (with the exception of Peter of course) joined the Order of the Phoenix. The Death Eaters murdered and terrorized for years and Snape was a part of that.
  8. Snape was the one who heard the prophecy about a child bringing down the Dark Lord and was so loyal to Voldemort that he immediately went and informed him. He was happy to have a family and a baby die until he realized that family was Lily Evans’ family. He was also happy to let James and Harry die as long as Lily was safe, which is pretty disgusting.
  9. He may have then been recruited by Dumbledore, and yes, he may have had a part to play in appearing like a “large overgrown bat” but it doesn’t mistake the deep look of loathing he gave Harry, a 11-year old boy, the first time they made eye contact.
  10. Not only that, but Snape went out of his way to make sure Harry struggled in Potions, goading and taunting him from their very first lesson, and making life difficult for him. Harry was actually quite good at potions, he got an E in it without Snape breathing down his neck as he puts it. If a teacher cannot even develop their subject in all students, what are they good for? 
  11. Let’s also not forget that he was so loathed as being a massive bully that Neville’s greatest fear was Professor Snape, a category that was actually comprised creatures such as giant spiders, banshees and dementors by his classmates. Imagine being such a scary bully of a teacher (force-feeding poison to Trevor) that a 13-year old child’s greatest fear is you.
  12. I also understand that to keep up appearances, it was important for him favor Slytherins, but he didn’t have to be so cruel to Harry and his friends.
  13. He purposefully goaded Sirius Black in OOTP as being useless to the Order, even though he of all people should have known (being so close to Dumbledore) that Sirius had no choice. Old rivalries or not, that’s an remarkably cruel thing to do. 
  14. Speaking of OOTP, the Occlumency classes were particularly torturous for Harry, where Snape attacked him and fished out horrible experiences from Harry’s childhood for fun. He seemed to take pleasure in hurting Harry and didn’t teach him anything at all, and made sure to embarrass Harry whenever he could about “Remedial Potions”. Not only that, but he didn’t even stop to listen to Harry after he saw the memories in the Pensieve but just cancelled the classes without telling Dumbledore. Snape was so sure Harry was just like James that he was okay with Voldemort possessing Harry rather than accept any alternative.

Basically Snape was a man who hated a child for having survived an attack he made sure happened, who hated a child for having the same eyes as the woman he loved and the same face as the man he hated, and he was so bitter that Lily never loved him back that he bullied most children. Snape never admitted Voldemort was wrong, just that he loved Lily, and that’s the only reason he ever joined forces with Dumbledore. Being evil came naturally to Snape, if it weren’t for Lily dying, he would have happily ended up alongside Voldemort. I refuse to believe that a man with such horrible moral principles is a hero. To everyone who says Snape was faking it, he really, truly, was not. he was a Death Eater long before. And to everyone who says James and Sirius are the same, they really aren’t. They were the kind of boys like Fred and George, who played questionable practical jokes and pranks, and then outgrew them to fight the war. Besides, they supported Remus as a werewolf for years, and would have died for each other. Snape doesn’t even come close to them. 

Stay - Harry Hook X Reader

Originally posted by sonofdork

A/N Did ya’ll miss me? I know some of you probably hate me because I’ve been so inactive on this account and I’m so so so sorry school this year is so stressful and I am a Junior in High School so my schedule is pretty packed. Plus I have cheer practice as well as soccer season that is slowly approaching so please please be patient with me. Anyways I had an amazing idea while on the couch on day and just decided to write a little something for you guys. But I genially want to hear your guys opinion oh this. I kinda want to step outta this Descendants bubble and write about other people. Lately I’ve watched Spider Man and OMG GUYS TOM HOLLAND SO ADORABLE. If you guys want to see me write about Tom Holland or Peter Parker I’m totally down for it. Just send me message I enjoy talking to ya’ll. Lots of love -Vee 

Stay Pt.2

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Who Cares You’re A Serpent?

Word Count:2780

A/N: This one was requested multiple times, a serpent!Jughead x reader with a touch of upset betty,  and i hope i did you guys justice, and this is what you wanted! enjoy! much love!

Originally posted by dailycwriverdale


Vvvrrrmmm Vvvrrrmmm Vvvrrrmmm

    Y/N slowly opened her eyes, the vibrating noise from the table waking her up. She looked around and found herself on her couch, the TV blasting Family Guy throughout the small apartment. She must have fallen asleep after the jubilee, it was a tiring night and she didn’t exactly have all that great of a time. Too much seeing Jughead, the boy she had been helplessly in love with for months, being all couple-y and cute with Betty.

Vvvrrrmmm Vvvrrrmmm Vvvrrrmmm

    She looked over to the coffee table in front of her and her phones screen was lit up, showing that she had an oncoming call from Betty. She picked up the phone and swiped to answer it. “Hey B, what’s up?”

    “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for about a half hour now!” she yelled, and Y/N started to feel worry set it, Betty sounded panicked.

    “I fell asleep on my couch, I’m sorry.” Y/N stuttered.

    “I thought you got shot too!” Betty yelled, and panic shot through Y/N. She stood from her couch and started running for her shoes.

    “Who got shot? What the hell is going on?” she yelled, anxiety coursing through her voice and body.

    “A lots going on, Fred got shot in Pops just about a half hour ago, he was in critical condition when the ambulance picked him up, and Archie is a mess. Not only that, but Cheryls house caught on fire, and Jughead joined the Southside Serpents.” Bettys voice rang through Y/Ns ears.

   “Oh my god. What the hell is happening to this fucking town!” Y/N yelled, running out of her house, her dress flying around in the windy night. She started to walk towards Jugheads trailer, thankfully it wasn’t too far from her shitty apartment.

    “Can you talk to Jughead, tell him that this whole Serpent thing isn’t a good idea, he won’t listen to me for whatever reason, but maybe he’ll listen to you.” Betty pleaded, and Y/N rolled her eyes although no one was there to see it.

    “You’re his girlfriend and he didn’t listen to you, what makes you think he’ll listen to me?” Y/N argued, and Betty sighed on the other end of the phone.

    “You’re his best friend. He always listens to you, doesn’t matter what it’s about, you’re the only person whose advice he takes to heart. I wish he’d listen to me, but I guess I’m just not as important.” Betty said sadly, and Y/N felt her heart drop a little. Betty was her best girl-friend, she hated that she felt that way.

    “Betty, you’re far more important to him than me, that’s why he chose you. But, I’ll give it a shot. Why does it matter that he became a serpent anyways, it’s expected. His dad was one, so it’s not that big of a surprise he is.” Y/N said, turning a corner and looking both ways before she crossed the street.

    “Because Jughead is better than that, anyways, there is no way I could be with a serpent, no matter who it was. Look, I love Jughead, but if he stays, I’m gone. I can’t deal with that.”Betty said, and Y/N could tell it hurt her to say.

    “I don’t know Betty, maybe you’re over-reacting. It’s probably just a phase, or something he’s doing to get deeper into the case. I don’t think we’ve uncovered all the facts about Jasons murder, why else would all this shit still being going down?” Y/N said, trying to talk Betty out of breaking up with Jughead. It would crush him, and ultimately it would crush Y/N to see him so upset. Although, it would give her a chance to swoop in and help him, but did she really want to be that girl? The one who breaks up couples to get the guy she wants? No she couldn’t do it, she cared for the two of them too much.

    “I don’t think we have all the facts either, but it doesn’t matter. Jughead and I cannot be together if he’s a serpent, that’s final.” Betty said, and Y/N sighed.

    “I’ll do my best to talk to him then. I don’t want to see you guys hurt.” Y/N said, a tinge of pain ringing through her. She walked into the trailer park and spotted Jugheads place. “I’m going to let you go though, I’m here.” She said, and she heard Betty sniffle on the other side.

    “Okay, good luck.” Betty said, hanging up the phone.

    “Yeah,” Y/N mumbled to herself, walking up the steps and knocking on the door. She backed up slightly so she didn’t get hit with the door, but she was surprised when she heard a dog bark from inside. The door swung open and a dog ran out, jumping up on her and barking.

   “Hotdog, get off her!” a voice she didn’t recognize called, and she looked up to see a long-haired man staring down at her.

    “It’s okay, he’s not hurting me. He’s very cute, is he yours?” Y/N asked, trying to be as polite as she could to the stranger.

    “Actually, I think he’s Jugheads now.” The man said, and Y/N nodded, leaning down to pet the dog. “Speaking of Jughead, I’m assuming you’re here to see him?”

    “Yeah, I am, is he inside?” Y/N asked, and the man nodded. She looked at the man and noticed the jacket he was wearing. ‘serpent.’ She thought to herself. “I’m Y/N by the way, I like your jacket.” She commented, and the man smiled.

   “Oh yeah, you’re not scared?” he teasingly asked, and Y/N laughed.

    “Y/N wouldn’t be scared of serpents, she actually admires you guys. Always has, that’s why she got along with my dad so well.” Jugheads voice rang behind the man, and Y/N smiled.

   “Is that so?” the man asked, looking down at the (Y/H/C) girl. She stood taller and smirked, trying to look as confident as possible.

    “I’m not scared of anything.” Y/N said, sliding by the man and into the trailer and making her way to Jughead.

    “Well except for clowns and spiders.” Jughead said, and she nodded, causing laughter from a few men who were also in the trailer.

    “So if we got attacked by a spider dressed as a clown-“ one man started.

    “Or a clown dressed as a spider-“ another added.

    “You’d be terrified?” the long-haired man finished their sentence. Y/N and Jughead laughed.

   “I’d be dead, I would have an actual heart-attack.” She teased, and the men laughed again. “Don’t tell anyone I said that though, I don’t need people knowing my weaknesses.”

    “Your secret is safe with us.” The long-haired man said, and Y/N plopped herself down on a couch, nodding her head in approval.

    “Good.” She said, looking around the room.

    “What brings you here, tonight?” Jughead asked, sitting beside her. Hotdog walked over, laying in front of Jugheads feet, and he leaned over to pet him.

    “Betty is worried and our town is still as hellish as ever. The police really suck ass at their jobs, I’m just about to go in and take over.” Y/N sighed, and the men laughed again. “What, you don’t think I can fix Riverdale?” she asked, and the long-haired man held his hands up.

    “I didn’t say that.” He replied defensively, and she smiled.

    “Good, because I totally could. We just need people to rally up the citizens of Riverdale, something that could motivate them to do more for this town, make it better than it was before all of this Jason bullshit went down. I just need to cause enough trouble to get the police off their ass, or enough trouble to fix the problems of the town. I haven’t decided which yet, but I know I could do it.” Y/N said, smiling to all the men in the room. Jughead laughed, and she looked at him. “Of course, I would have to do it with my partner in crime, Mr. Jones here.” Jughead smiled and the men chuckled.

   “Do you two get into a lot of trouble together?” one of the men asked, and Jughead nodded.

    “Enough to cause Betty to worry about me.” He said, and the men all raised their eyebrows at the two teenagers.

    “I see.” The long-haired man said, and Y/N rolled her eyes.

    “Not that kind of trouble, oh my god. I swear you guys are 16-year-old-boys.” She teased, and the men in the room laughed again.

    “I’m going to take that as a compliment.” The long-haired man said, and Jughead teasingly elbowed her.

    “And I’m going to take offense, seeing that I am a 16-year-old-boy.” He said, and Y/N gave him an evil smile.

    “Good, take offense.” She said, and he rolled his eyes and slumped back into the couch. “Anyways, Betty was always mad because we found ourselves in compromising and dangerous situations when it came to the whole Jason Blossom murder case. We went all in, emerging ourselves in whatever danger Jason might have put himself in that way we could get to the bottom of the case.” The men all nodded.

    “Of course she was suspicious that we were sleeping together, or that I was cheating on her with all the time we spent together, it took awhile for her to accept the fact that we are just best friends.” Jughead said.

    “Which doesn’t make any sense to me because she knew we were before you guys even got together. We became friends immediately after I moved here last year.” Y/N added, and Jughead nodded. “She actually sent me over here to talk you out of being a serpent, but I could care less. I was just planning on telling her you wouldn’t listen to me and to just let you live your life, but then she started talking about breaking up with you because of it and then I didn’t know what I was going to do.” Y/N admitted, and the men in the room all fell very silent.

    “She was going to break up with me because of it?” Jughead asked, hints of anger present in his voice. Y/N nodded, and he huffed out in frustration. “Why can’t she be accepting like you? And I thought dating Betty was going to be less complicated than dating you, but obviously I made the wrong decision.” Jughead said, and Y/N froze in her seat.

    “Oh shit.” The long-haired man said, and the men all nodded in agreement. This was definitely an ‘oh shit’ moment.

     “What?” Y/N asked, looking at the raven-haired boy who hadn’t caught his slip up. Jughead looked around the room and noticed all the eager faces looking at him, and it was then he caught his mistake after thinking over what just came out of his mouth.

    “Yeah, dating Betty has been super complicated lately, she and I are complete opposites, not that you and I are any better, but at least we have a lot more in common than her and I.” he said, trying to explain it in a way that wouldn’t give away his feelings, but it only made it worse.

    “So what you’re saying is that you’d rather date Y/N here…?” the long-haired man said, and Jughead stuttered, wracking his brain for the right words to say. Maybe he should just come out and say what was really on his mind, but he was worried.

    “You know what, Y/N. Just let her break up with me, the fact that she can’t over look this one decision I made in my life and love me enough to accept me shows that maybe we just aren’t meant to be together.” Jughead said, standing up and walking towards the front door. He picked up his jacket off the side of a chair on the way and put it on, the snake on the back fully visible to everyone behind him.

    ‘damn, he looks good in that jacket, I have to admit it.’ She thought to herself, but then the door slammed and it broke her out of her thoughts. She looked around at the group of men around her, and they all stared at her.

    “Well, go after him then. Get that boy and never let him go.” The long-haired man said, and she chuckled.

    “Why do I get the feeling you guys are fans of chick-flicks?” she teased, and they all laughed as well.

    “What, just because we’re in a gang doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings. This is young love, its cute.” One of the men said, and Y/N rolled her eyes and smiled. It was nice to see such strong and scary guys have actual loving feelings you wouldn’t expect them to have.

    “Well, you’re wasting time. Go on.” The long-haired one said, and Y/N nodded, making her way out of the trailer. She wandered around and found Jughead by the entrance sign, and she slowly approached him.

    “You alright?” she asked, and Jughead turned around, giving her a tight smile.

    “Not really, but whatever.” He said, and Y/N sighed. “I thought she would accept me, she told me tonight she loved me, and i-I told her the same thing. I’m starting to realize now that maybe neither of us meant it, we were just caught in the moment.” Jughead ran his hand through his hair, and it was then she noticed he was beanie free. She smiled apologetically at him and walked the rest of the way to him, embracing him. Jughead held onto her tight, and she enjoyed the moment, closing her eyes, trying to remember every detail of that second so she could cherish it forever. Little did she know, Jughead was doing the same thing. She pulled away from him, and looked up at the blue-eyed boy, and she shivered slightly at the loss of his body heat. It was cold out and she was in a dress, she was freezing.

    “You must be so cold.” Jughead said worriedly, taking off his jacket and handing it to the girl.

    “I’m fine-“ she tried to refuse, but he rolled his eyes.

    “Take it.” He said, and she took it from him, slipping the leather jacket on herself. It was big on her because Jughead was much taller than she was, and he laughed at the sight of her in it.

    “What?” she said, trying to hide her blush.

    “You would just look cute as a serpent.” He said, and she couldn’t hide her blush now.

    “Whatever.” She said, pulling the jacket tighter around herself. The cold was bitter, the winter was settling in hard.

    “I’m sorry for calling you cute, damn.” Jughead said, pretending to be offended, and she rolled her eyes and laughed.

    “Don’t be so sensitive, I-“ she cut herself off, she didn’t know if she should do what she was about to, although she really wanted to.

    “You what?” he said quietly, and she thought to herself that he probably already knew what she was thinking. She stayed silent though, thinking about what she was going to do. “I like you, you know. I have for a long time.” Jughead said, and Y/N stared up at him.

    “But Betty-“

    “Betty is nice, I like her, but not as much as I like you. I just figured that if I went for you, our friendship would be ruined and it would just complicate everything. I see now that I was wrong. I think we are meant to be together, and I really mean that.” Y/N smiled softly, and so did Jughead. They stood there for awhile, just looking at eachother and not really saying anything, and Y/N figured that must have been kind of weird.

    “We should probably go inside.” She said awkwardly, breaking their silence. Jughead looked towards the trailer and nodded.

    “Probably.” He said. “But first-“ Jughead grabbed onto Y/Ns wrist and crashed his lips with hers, and she smiled and melted into it.

    “Okay, that was unexpected.” Y/N said, and Jughead laughed. “It wasn’t bad!” she quickly exclaimed, trying to fix her mistake in words. “I just- I- I liked it. I like you.” She said, and jughead nodded, taking her hand and they walked to the trailer in silence. He opened the door and the two of them entered, and all the men looked at Y/N and cheered. She looked down and realized she still had his jacket on and she blushed, looking down and burying her head into his chest. Betty and Jughead were both going to be hurt, but she could help them both, and she knew in the end she could help them heal.

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Shadowhunters is Finally Getting Good: A Writer’s Perspective

This is going to get long, so basically this is where I’m going:

1. Shadowhunters is still finding itself, similar to how Buffy the Vampire Slayer kinda sucked until it grabbed onto its “Monsters as Life Metaphors” structure halfway through Season 2.

2. Because The Mortal Instruments series is such a catastrophic narrative failure, Shadowhunters doesn’t have compelling plot points to string their own original story between, the way True Blood was able to do with their own sub-par source material.

3. The strong character writing is just starting to free the show from the restrictions of its source material.

Where We Are Now

-The company that owns the rights to The Mortal Instruments is using Shadowhunters to return on a damaged investment. They bought the rights to a popular book series, and made a movie that bombed so hard that when the numbers came in, they stopped production on the sequel within weeks. They lost a shit ton of money on what should have been a good investment, and were unwilling to throw too much good money after bad, which is why there wasn’t much investment in the first season. The first season’s low budget affects more than the special effects. It plays into who they can hire, how long they have to rehearse, how long they have to shoot, every element of production.

-The source material is shit, and it’s an albatross around the show’s neck. The movie sucked so hard because it was a pretty faithful adaption of the books, which are torturously long, and full of one note characters who only exist to spout faux-clever dialogue, or facilitate CC’s incest fantasies. They are driven by entirely by plot, not character, which makes for flat fiction.

-The first season had to be, to an extent, experimental. They had to figure out the right mix between what they had to keep to engage book fans, and what they had to add to make it possible for it to be a TV show, because the book doesn’t have enough material to be a couple seasons of TV.

-The first season worked to clear the very low bar of of being less racist, tokenist, slut-shaming, girl-hating, bi-phobic, and all around disgusting than the books.
They succeeded.

-Successfully moving past the tragedy of the movie into an expanded episode order and expanded budget mean that season two is essentially a brand new show.

- That season is trying to fight its way free of what it had to be in the first season, and the failure of the movie, and the ball and chain of the books.

The Problems

1. The Show Has Turned Every Pointless, Cardboard Dialogue Spouter from the Books into a Compelling, Nuanced Character, and Now There Are Too Many

The book characters have interesting things on their character sheets, but never become interesting. The show has recomposited characters out of the character elements used in the books, and created complex, compelling, nuanced characters, who have ties and relationships to eachother, who are impacted by the world around them, and who make decisions and affect the world around them and eachother, instead of just waiting around for Clary to discover her special rune magic, or for Magnus to portal them somewhere.

Unfortunately, a bunch of cardboard cutouts creating obstacles to, and eventually enabling brother-sister fucking don’t suck up too much plot time, but 11 suddenly worth-while characters (Clary, Simon, Alec, Isabelle, Jace, Maryse, Jocelyn, Luke, Raphael, Maia, Magnus) plus a few new additions we are invested in to some degree (Lydia, Aldertree, Iris), and a few random additions that don’t seem to do much but create more dialogue and scoot plots along (Valentine, Meliorn, Raj, Max, Dot, Gretel, Suspiciously Important Girl With Glasses) all end up battling for screen time, to the detriment of each other.

For every charming interaction between Maia and Simon, we don’t get to see Luke dealing with Jocelyn’s death. When we get a glimpse into the tenderness of Magnus and Raphael’s relationship, there’s less time to see Magnus and Alec learn where they cross and divide. When we see that Alec and Maryse still love each other, even if the have so much shit left to work through , that takes potential minutes away from someone trying to talk to Jace about being abducted and tortured. There is so much potential, and it’s not possible to turn all of it into plot when there are only 45 minutes a week to work with.

1A. Except Valentine, Who is A Spectacularly Shitty Villain

Valentine is one long HHHHHHHZZZZZZMMMMMMMHHHHHhhzzzzmmmmhhhh on an evil kazoo.

A good villain is the hero of their own story, but they have to be more than that. A good villain has to taunt you with the possibility that they could be the hero of your story. They have to want something in a way that you can understand the wanting, even if what they want isn’t something you would want.

Kylo Ren is a good villain. He wants to be a super powerful Jedi and big deal leader in the Empire and the movie shows you that he wants that because he’s actually a pathetic little snot streak, drowning in his inability to live up to the standards of toxic masculinity around him, while wearing a silly helmet. The desire makes sense.

Spider-Man Villains are good villains. They are typically super smart scientists trying to solve a problem, but their science gives them some sort of mutation that casts them out of the society they were trying to improve.

Magneto is a great villain. A holocaust survivor who believes he sees the writing on the wall and won’t let history repeat itself.  

(Quick fact about Oncethrown: I went to go see the Johnny Depp version of Sweeny Todd in theaters in college and didn’t realize he was the villain until the very last scene. (The last last scene. Even after he throws Mrs. Lovett in the oven) Because he was unfairly jailed by a man who wanted him gone so that he could rape Sweeny todd’s wife to be raped into insanity and leave her out on the street to rot, and I was totally onboard with the quest for vengeance up until the moment the blood started pouring out if his neck.)

Valentine is just generically evil. He was born into the most powerful class in his world, was annoyed that his society wouldn’t let him become even more powerful, and now is experimenting on a class he already could kill with little to no repercussions, and working to eradicate them… because he can?

He doesn’t love or care about anyone either. There’s nothing to hold onto about Valentine. He’s just an opposing force. He could be a block of wood with angry eyebrows and the effect on the plot would be about the same.

1B. Except Aldertree, Who We Were Promised Would Be And Interesting Villain is Just A Random Force For Bad.

Aldertree came in to bring the erratic New York Institute back under Clave control. And he started out doing that. He threw the downworlders out of the Institute, he left Jace to rot in jail because he wouldn’t swear total fealty to the Clave, he nearly let Alec die because he threatened very important Shadowhunter traditions by refusing to marry a suitable woman in order to date a man, and a downworlder.

The yin-fen plot line originally was in this same functional but boring vein, until the last episode (spoilers) where he was clearly trying to get Izzy to trade sex for drugs (end spoilers). Generic Rapist Evil not interesting either. All he ended up doing was giving Alec a “Reclaiming the Institute Plotline” which would have been a really, really good piece in that whole “Effects of Institutionalizing Discrimination” theme… if any time had been devoted to it at all this season. Like… Alec originally ceded his authority to Lydia. The way he came for Aldertree just wasn’t given the building blocks to be satisfying.

2. The Books Didn’t Have Layers, and the Show is Trying to Graft an Interesting Theme Onto the Book’s Pocked and Diseased Foundation

The books are just an excuse for incest. The show is attempting to develop a narrative about institutionalized discrimination and oppression, and how characters are influenced by the way that affects their societies, upbringings, relationships and lives.

There is a really underdeveloped attempt at this in the books which more or less boils down to “Shadowhunters are mean to downworlders, and it’s not totally fair, but they are still the heroes, because they are all described as sexually attractive.”

The show is running into a lot of complications as they try to smoosh this theme onto the source material they have to work with.

-The main plot of “Evil McEvil is a Racist Who Wants To Start A Genocide Because Of Evil and Overt Racism”is sucking up all the air in the room for more compelling and important elements of the show,  such as every idea presented in Maia and Simon’s conversation about how Shadowhunters pretend that everyone is on the same team, but don’t understand what the daily existence of downworlders is really like in a world that Shadowhunters essentially rule.

Or Alec’s struggle to be both a Shadowhunter and a gay man falling in love with a downworlder.

Or Isabelle and Lydia’s season one speaking out about Law vs. Justice in the Shadowhunter world.

Or Clary’s 10 minute plot about not being trained well enough to be a real shadowhunter, but knowing too much to ever be a mundane again

The adherence to the main plot of book one and two is one of the things turning Clary into a mess of a white savior who doesn’t learn from her mistakes. She’s the entry point character, she’s bringing us into this world, and she’s the hero of the story. So… she’s white and straight with magic powers, trying to solve racism and homophobia in a story where the whole society she enters into is built around it, and has been for centuries.

3. The Clusterfuck of Potential We Are Working Out Of Now

So 2.08 and 2.09 I think prove that we are watching a show that is just about to get there. Both of these episodes had insular plots solved within the confines of the episode while also having consequences in the season stretching story.

Good characters are interacting with each other in interesting ways. (Except Lydia. Where is Lydia? I love her and I want her back) There are some growing pain failures (everything Izzy has said and done all season), some serious fuck ups (the lack of consent before the lack of malec sex scene) and a lot of unfortunate leaning on shitty and easy tropes (Izzy and Raphael fall into a drug fueled affair, Alec pushes Magnus into sex in a 3 minute side plot, Valentine exists and we have to watch him) But they are setting up more and more really solid pieces with places to go and I’m excited to see it happen.

4. The Things They Need to Fix (this is mostly rambling)

-Give fewer characters better plots per episode instead of trying to give everyone a couple minutes of screen time.

-Give characters goal and personality and development driven season arcs that create plots instead of having them constantly reacting to plot elements that are not character driven (purely from a writing standpoint, this is the biggest flaw with Isabelle’s plot line. The addiction drives her plot, not her personality, and Aldertree doesn’t have a character based reason to give her the drug to being with. “Just because I’m an asshole” isn’t really good enough. That’s why Alec is the best part of season 1. Everything he says and does is driven by a couple easily defined elements of his character.)

-If you are going to sell the diversity aspect of your show, be aware of the full context of the plot lines you are assigning your actors. It’s not great that there are 4 latinx actors, and the two of them with accents are in a drug dealing/addiction/sex for drugs plot line. It’s great that your only canon couple is a gay interracial couple. It’s great that they got a really sweet build up, and they have great communication scenes and they are really building a strong relationship. It’s not great that they do not touch while a lot of totally gratuitous sex is happening around them.

-Figure out who you really need, and jettison the dead weight.
-Why is Raj still on this show? All he does is say nasty shit about women. He’s disgusting, he’s boring, and he’s pointless. Literally every single time he’s on screen he could be replaced by someone we care about and it would tighten the episode.
-We ditched Robert because as far as the impact on the main characters goes, he’s a redundancy on Maryse’s storyline, and she has all the good elements.
-Aldertree is pointless. Maryse could have had Aldertree’s “WE ARE REALLY FUCKING GOING WITH WHAT THE CLAVE SAYS” storyline and it would have been a lot more interesting with the rest of the plot.Lydia could have had that plot too. “You fucked up at the wedding, reign in this nonsense or we are shipping you our to wrangle island”

Story Time

Originally posted by tony-starkes

The cheers and the voice of Jimmy Kimmel welcoming you guys to the show brought you out of your daze as the show began. You were placed in between RDJ and your boyfriend Tom Holland. The three of you fit snuggly on the grey couch not really minding how close you all are. I mean you have been around Robert since the first Iron man movie came out playing as his accidental  daughter; and Tom was your boyfriend and you’re his love interest in the new Spider-man movie.

“So i just saw the ruff cut of the new movie and it is easily the best spider-man movie and a great movie,” Jimmy complimented and the three of you couldn’t help but smile.

“So have you guys seen the movie yet?” Kimmel asked.

“I have, I have. (Y/N) and I went together about a month ago.” Tom answered.

“You did? And what did you think?” Kimmel questioned.

“You know when you’ve revised for an exam and you feel like you’ve crushed it but the longer you wait to get the results back, the more you think you’ve kind of ruined it.”

“He’s British, by the way so he means test.” RDJ jumped in to clarify what Tom was saying which made you giggle.

“But yeah so I was walking into the screening and I was like ‘this is going to be awful, I’m going to hate it’. And leaving i was over the moon.” The Brit spoke.

“You did?” Jimmy piped in.

“Yeah, I loved it.”

“Robert, you have not seen it yet?” Jimmy asked RDJ.

“I have personally yet to see it,” RDJ replies. “When can I-”

“You will see it when I’m ready for you to see it,” Tom butts in which makes you laugh. Everyone took a second to recook before Jimmy asked the next question.

“Robert, how much are you involved in casting Tom in this movie? I would assume that there is this some kind of-that you play some kind of role in that.”

“Well it was really more up to (Y/N) here. Since they had already planned on doing a Spider-man movie and they had their love interest they needed to pick which boy had the most on camera chemistry with (Y/N).” Robert informed.

“So they brought all of them in on the set of Civil War and they handed each boy a script which they had one minute to go over and then do a little scene with me as Spider-man. The whole purpose was for them to forget most of the script so they could improvise and just see how well their banter with me went.”

“Are you serious? You guys are evil I was so scared when they told me i hate a minute to memorize those lines before I had to go and do that with you!” Tom hollered in fake annoyance which made you laugh.

“You will not believe how she reacted to you and the other boys. Which brings up the fact that I have a story to share.” Robert side-eyed you with a knowing glance which sent you springing towards his mouth to slap a hand over it.

“No! you said you wouldn’t!” I panicked. Two strong hands grabbed your arms and pulled you away from Robert and into a steel trap.

“Frankly darling, I’d love to hear the story,” Tom smirked evilly.

“It was right before all of the guys got there-”

“Squirt! Get out here! The directors are bringing in the boys who tried out for Spider-man! They need you to do a little script to see who you want!” Robert called to me from outside my trailer. Not exactly trusting that there will be a prank waiting for him on the other side of the door.

“Do I have to? Can’t they pick who the new Parker is gonna be?” you grumble while stepping out of your trailer.

“Do you want to work with someone you hate for months on end and then go on a bunch for press tours for even more months?” Robert answered your question with a question. You sigh and trudge behind Robert in a pouty manner.

“You know for being 19 years old, you sure are the biggest child i’ve ever met.” Robert smirks at you and you playfully glare at him.

“Welp, it takes one to know one.” You sass back and take off running after you hear an offended gasp.

“Other way!” Robert shouted at you while you made a wrong turn.

“I knew that!”

After doing script runs with five other guys who literally had little to none on-camera chemistry with you, you were ready to go back into your trailer and waste away the day with Just Dance.

“Please save me! None of these guys are working with me and they’ve been terrible eye-candy so i can’t even entertain myself with that!” You whisper shout to RDJ who only chuckled at you.

“Cool it hot shot you have one person left and then you can go continue to claim your title as Just Dance queen,” Robert teases. Your phone starts to buzz nonstop so you pull it out from your pocket and realize it’s your mom calling.

“Hey guys it’s my mom i need to take this can you let…um, what’s the guys name?”

“Tom Holland,” someone shouted.

“Yes, can someone let him in and give him the script while I take this? It won’t take long I promise,” you smile and walk off into the other room for some quiet time.

“Hey mom this isn’t a good time,” is the first thing you say when you answer the phone.

“Well this is important! Guess what Linda did today! Let her dog crap all over our yard and didn’t pick it up! I got it all on tape too!” You laugh as you was back into the room you were in letting your mother rant about her important story.

“Is it about Linda again cause i swear if I have to listen to one more story about how awful she is I’m going to loose my head,” Robert mumbled as you strolled up behind him. You glance up to see a nervous guy standing before you and oh was he a looker.

“Finally they bring in the eye-candy… I’d tap that,” you whisper to Robert while your mother is still babbling on. Robert spits out his coffee he was sipping and proceeded to laugh.

“My god could you make it anymore straight forward?” Robert laughed which caused you to giggle. You glance up at Tom who seemed even more nervous and to make him even more antsy you wink at him.

“Ok yeah mom that is so wonderful gotta go, bye!” You hang up the phone and toss it into a chair. 

“You must be Tom. I’m (Y/N), nice to meet you.” You hold out your hand to shake his and get tingles once skin touches skin.

“N-Nice to meet you too. I’m really nervous.” He stumbles a little through his words on his greeting.

“That is totally natural! Don’t worry just act your little heart out and you’ll do fine.” you say. He sends you a kind boyish smile that melts your heart and you knew that this boy was going to be the new web-slinger before the improv started.

“You seriously said that? I though you made a mean comment about me and Robert here was laughing at it!” Tom laughed.

“Leave me alone. I was bored and those guys weren’t cute and I don’t really get to see hot guys that I can be like ‘Hey I have 1% chance with this person if and only if i act 180 from myself’.” I pouted.

“Its ok (Y/N) we are still going to tease you about this for years to come.” Robert laughed and Tom pecked you on the cheek to try and lighten your fake pouty mood.


Please leave requests and feedback please and thank you

pet-of-subs  asked:

They're making another movie about sharks being evil terrifying man eating killers and I'm SO pissed. It's called 47 meters down


aight so this is the trailer for the movie…tbh i always thought these movies were dumb and cheesy? .-.

But um…being stuck in a metal cage 47 meters (155 ft) under the surface of the ocean? That’s like…really really deep!? THAT’S TERRIFYINGLY DEEP!? THAT’S ACTUALLY TERRIFYING FOR ME, PERSONALLY.

The deepest pools go is like 11 or 12 ft? and the pressure from just diving to the bottom of the deep end of the pool is Not Fun for me… Personal issues aside, “most recreational scuba divers only dive as deep as 130 feet (40 meters), according to the Professional Association of Diving Instructors so I have a hard time believing that 2 girls who have never gone scuba diving IN THEIR LIVES are gonna be A-Okay enough to worry about the sharks at that point .____.

But I’m pretty sure this movie makes @pet-of-subs​ mad because it’s just another movie fear-mongering about sharks! I understand that sharks are a very real fear for some people, just like spiders and snakes and heights are very real fears for other people, but for those of you who aren’t already afraid of sharks, don’t let movies like this one trick you into thinking that sharks are the “Most Terrifying, Bloodthirsty Animals” on the planet!

“Attacks on people are incredibly rare. In waters off California, the chances of a surfer being bitten by a great white shark are one in 17 million; for swimmers, it’s even rarer—one attack in every 738 million beach visits, according to a recent Stanford University study”

So you’re more likely to die in a car crash, or even be struck by lightning (1 in 700,000/yr or 1 in 3,000/lifetime), than be attacked by a great white! Now, that doesn’t mean I’m saying that great whites are really just giant cuddly fish who want to be your friend, because that’s not true either. They’re definitely awe-inspiring creature who deserve some space and respect (for everyone’s safety, shark included). I just want y’all to know that they’re not the threat you may think they are! They don’t have “ a taste for human flesh’, y’all! They love to eat and hunt yummy, delicious, blubbery SEALS (among other fish and carrion. Great white diet varies depending on age, size, and location! :p)!

Also, I’d just like to gently remind y’all that the man who wrote Jaws, Peter Benchley, so regretted the fact that his book incited fear and panic among people that he became one of the greatest proponents of shark conservation. He spent the rest of his life dedicated to educating people about sharks, trying to separate fiction from fact. There’s even an ocean-conservation award named after him!

“The Peter Benchley Ocean Awards are the world’s preeminent ocean awards and are unique in acknowledging outstanding achievement across many sectors of society leading to the protection of our ocean, coasts and the communities that depend on them.Co-founded by Wendy Benchley and David Helvarg, and named in honor of Peter Benchley, author of Jaws, this Award celebrates the life and legacy of a man who spent more than 40 years educating the public and expanding awareness of the importance of protecting sharks and ocean ecosystems.”

I know that these movies are usually a Not Good thing, but they also give us the opportunity to open up some discourse about about sharks, finning, ocean convservation, overfishing, and other important topics that usually don’t get much attetion.

If any of y’all are interesting in learning more about sharks, check out:

If anyone has any resources, articles, experiences, facts, or anything else to contribute, please do! :)

anonymous asked:

I'm heading to New Mexico in a week. What should I know?

I may not be of much help since I don’t know why you’re coming or what you’ll be doing here, but I can probably provide a few helpful hints! (This post got a little long, so bear with me…)

I do not say any of these things to scare you away, I just want you to be prepared for all that the Land of Entrapme—I mean, Enchantment—has to offer!

More under the cut, since this got so long!

The following goes for the whole of New Mexico:
• WEAR SUNSCREEN. I don’t care how dark you are, New Mexico itself is at a higher altitude than most other states, and it is in a desert area, which means you’re closer to the sun and it’s BLOODY HOT almost all year-round. Albuquerque, New Mexico sees around 340 (or more) sunny days a year. Most of them with no clouds. I have a friend from California who had literally never had a sunburn before IN HER LIFE. She got her first one here after spending twenty minutes outside jogging. It is also dry here, which means your skin will probably dry out mere moments after you take a shower. FOR YOUR SKIN’S SAKE; BATHE IN SUNSCREEN AND ALOE LOTION IF YOU HAVE TO. Don’t let this state destroy your beautiful complexion. Or…you know…give you skin cancer.

• Continuing on the fact that New Mexico has a high elevation: If you jog or ride your bike out here, you may run out of breath faster than you do in other states. Don’t worry, it’s only because the air is thin. Another thing that altitude affects is alcohol tolerance. You might not be able to handle as much as you’re used to in other states. Don’t worry, that’s just New Mexico fucking with you. But also because the air is thin. PLEASE don’t go to Sandia Crest and think you can still get away with six beers. You will probably be wasted before your third one.

• There are indeed four seasons in New Mexico, but they are not the same as everyone else’s. They are: WinterLiteTM, wiND, ATOMIC SUMMER, and then comes WIND PART II, THE VENGEANCE. We also have dust, dust, and more dust (I have probably seen more dust devils in my life than ice cream trucks. And New Mexico has a lot of shady-ass ice cream trucks). If you are asthmatic, PLEASE use your inhaler/nebuliser and sleep with an air humidifier in the room. In fact, everyone should sleep with a humidifier on, asthmatic or not. It can help prevent dry-weather nosebleeds.

• It’s not a fun subject, but here are some BUGS and CRAWLIES to watch out for:
-As with everywhere, if you’ll be spending time outside, wear bugspray and avoid mosquitos, fleas, and ticks like the plague (haha see…cos in New Mexico, the fleas and ticks might LITERALLY be carrying the ACTUAL plague. Be safe out there, kids, and don’t touch the prarie dogs).

-If you see a spider that looks like this:

It’s harmless. Its mouth is literally too small to bite you. These long-legged angels may be everywhere, but they help keep the fly population to a tolerable level. You can leave them alone and they’ll just sit there looking pretty and creepy.

-However, if you see either one of THESE fuckers:

Either leave it alone, relocate it, or if you can’t…I guess you can kill it. Just do NOT let it GET ON YOU or BITE YOU, WHATEVER YOU DO.

-We also have some problems with scorpions and centipedes. A good rule of thumb is to leave them alone and they’ll leave you alone. But if it’s little, and it’s ON you, either relocate it or kill it.

-In the more rural areas of NM, there are bullsnakes and rattlesnakes! The bullsnakes are pretty much harmless, and I can tell you stories about catching them as a wee lad. But if you encounter a rattlesnake, get THE HELL OUT. Chances are, you’ll hear it first. Back away slowly and then when you’re a safe distance away, RUN LIKE FUCK. They like to hang out in tall grass, so if at all possible, avoid running through a wide open field of grass.

• MANY OF THE PLANTS HERE WILL TRY TO KILL YOU! Don’t take it personally, they’re just angry and jealous that we have less water than everyone else. It’s quite understandable. I am too. If you see a green park and wish to run through it barefoot DON’T DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. SPARE YOUR POOR FEET. If the plants don’t get you, THE SPRINKLER HEADS WILL.
Anyway, here are some evil New Mexican plants to watch out for:

-Goat heads

These fuckers don’t care who they take out, they just care that they take out AS MANY FEET, TOES, HANDS, AND FINGERS AS POSSIBLE. You thought getting a splinter was bad? These will stab your foot, stab the fingers that you use to pull it out, and then hurt for DAYS afterward. Think stepping on a lego, only it’s a stabby plant whose seedpods hide in crevices waiting to kill your feet and hands year-round.

-Foxtails and “stickers”

These will stick to everything you love and POKE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU INCESSANTLY UNTIL YOU BEG FOR FORGIVENESS FOR WHATEVER YOU DID TO DESERVE THIS PUNISHMENT. Don’t walk through grassy areas unless you’re wearing jeans and close-toed shoes. Even then, they may still poke you if they get a hold of your socks somehow (and they ALWAYS find a way).

-I don’t know what these are called so I call them “FUCK-YOU-plants”

They have a million reeny-tiny needles on their stems that will be the bane of your existence if you have to weed a garden here. Just don’t touch them. You aren’t even safe if you wear gardening gloves. NO ONE IS SAFE.

-Our thistles are spiny and look like they will MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP

This is why I was always confused about why it says in Whinne the Pooh that Eeyore ate them. He was obviously eating the less-murderous variety.

Tumbleweeds. Wind garbage. Harmless, right?

THINK AGAIN. You think these things won’t kill you? They are ACTUALLY out to take over the WORLD. These fuckers can grow to be GIGANTIC and WILL NOT HESITATE to ABSOLUTELY TOTAL your car if you try to run over them. They will also bury houses and vehicles as they are allies with the wind. But hey, Albuquerque makes a cool giant snowman with them every winter, since we don’t usually have any actual snow to play with.

CACTUS. Our entire state is pretty much COVERED in cactus.

They are the most angry of all about the fact that there is no water. It is best not to argue with them or try to console them. In fact, stay a safe distance away and try not to make eye-contact. They’re pretty, but they are also murdery, so don’t be fooled by their seductive and colourful spring flowers. Some of them have delicious fruit, but the tingling sensation you feel after trying it may be due to the THOUSANDS OF TINY NEEDLES that were just deposited into your tongue. Many people plant prickly pears or chollas under their bedroom windows to deter burglars, because falling into one is literally one of the worst experiences you can imagine, shortly followed by the horrible experience you’ll have at the doctor’s office as they pluck cactus spines out of your bare bottom for forty five minutes while you bemoan every single life-choice you’ve ever made.
Also, there are often little tiny cacti with GIANT SPINES just chilling under pine trees and such, so watch where you step.

Anyway, let’s stop talking about the scary murdery stuff and start talking about the fun stuff!

New Mexico has a very chile-centric culture. New Mexicans joke that we put chile on EVERYTHING, and we’re actually not wrong. We put chile on our pizza, we put it in our brownies and cakes…we got chile chocolate, chile chips, chile candy, chile cornbread, chile WINE, chile COFFEE, and CHILE PEANUT BRITTLE (which is SO GOOD I would probably actually kill a man for it. Or I’d let the cacti do it and feign non-involvement).

If you are dining at a New Mexican restaurant, you may hear the words “Red, Green, or Christmas?” ass-smack in the middle of July. Don’t worry. They are not trying to sell the jolly holiday of winter to you as a side-dish with your meal. They want to know if you want red chile, green chile, or both (т.е; red + green = christmas). If you like it hot, I would suggest going with the green. Hatch chile is usually hot and delicious. If you’re on the fence, you can get it on the side, or go for the usually milder red chile (which stains like a MOTHERFUCKER do NOT eat it if you are clumsy like me and any part of your clothing is light-coloured! If you must eat it, wear BLACK), but if you’re feeling adventurous, go with both.

Here are a few must-try New Mexican dishes with chile in them (ok they pretty much ALL have chile in them, who am I kidding)

Huevos rancheros: The New Mexican breakfast of CHAMPIONS.

You can get this at most restaurants if they advertise New Mexican food. I’d get it at Frontier if you’re gonna be in Albuquerque.

The Frontier/Golden Pride breakfast burrito

The Frontier/Golden pride restaurants are a MUST-VISIT if you end up in Albuquerque. As for their burritos? They’ve been voted best in the city (if not the state) COUNTLESS times. Whether it’s a #9 or a #11, the tortillas are fresh, the chile is hot, and the burrito you get is DE-FUCKIN-LICIOUS.

Posole and Tamales

These are usually a winter favourite served around Christmastime, but I think I speak for a lot of New Mexicans when I say that they are delicious no matter WHAT time of the year you’re enjoying them.

Green Chile Rellenos

Because a deep-fried, cheese-stuffed green chile is ALWAYS a good idea.

Green chile Pepperoni Pizza

You can ONLY get this in New Mexico, but you can get it literally ANYWHERE in the state. My favourite is served at a tiny pizzaria in Ruidoso called Cafe Rio, but I guess it’s ok at Dion’s too.
(Fun fact: most New Mexican chains/franchises also carry green chile. For example, New Mexican Subway carries green chile, and you can put it on literally ANY sandwich you want).

New Mexico has breathtaking views, a whole lot of must-see tourist attractions, and yes we are the state where Breaking Bad was filmed (there RV are tours for that). It’s a place with a lot to offer. It kinda sucks to live here, but it’s awesome to visit! I won’t go into detail on the sights since this post got a little long, but if you have a question specifically about the sights to see, I can definitely make a post about them! Let me know!

(And to all the New Mexicans seeing this post: feel free to add anything I might have missed)

The Love Club (Peter Parker)

Originally posted by katmcnamara

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Warning: Cursing, Violence
Summary: Peter has been trying to take down a gang of robbers for the past few weeks, but never gets close to catching them because his rival, another hero by the name of Vagabond (the reader), is always one step ahead of him. 
Author: Dizzy
A/N: Anonymous requested number 2: “Listen here, asshole, if you think telling me what I’m doing is wrong, think again cause I can do a hell of a lot worse than slitting a throat.”

Masterlist Request a Prompt

Peter stood, clad in his Spider-man suit, on the edge of the building, watching as a gang of men rushed into a closed jewelry store. He had recognized the group by their outfits, suits of black with a single red heart on their sleeves.

The newspapers called them The Love Club while Peter called them just plain criminals. 

It was then that he spotted his rival, Vagabond, a young woman in a skin tight black suit fit with gadgets and fire red dyed hair. She, she was always chasing after The Love Club, always tripping them up, but never succeeding in capturing them while Peter couldn’t even get close to catching them. 

With the flick of a wrist, Peter shot a web before him, swinging down just as Vagabond slipped into the jewelry store behind the gang. 

But, he was not as swift as his rival and ended up crashing through the glass window of the store. 

“Well that’s one hell of a way to make an entrance.” Peter chuckled, shooting a web at one of the man. “Looks like you’re in a sticky situation.” 

He then heard a small groan as he saw red flash past out of the corner of his eye. 

Another man took a shot at Peter, missing his head by a few inches and ending up tangled in another one of Peter’s webs. 

That was when a man screamed, causing Peter to turn his attention to Vagabond, who had her arms around a man’s head as she slit his throat, blood splattering onto her and the area around her. 

“Shut up, goddammit! Wanna wake the whole neighborhood?!” She hissed as she dropped the man’s body, turning to the man that started to charge at her, causing her to throw a knife, hitting his jugular perfectly.

“What the hell are you doing?” Peter cried. “You’re not supposed to kill them!”

“Oh shit, it’s Spiderboy, here to save the city from crime and the forces of evil.” Vagabond mocked, retrieving her knife from the neck of the dead man.

Peter winced at the gory sight and the young woman’s lack of emotion towards what she was doing.

“You’re supposed to fight crime, not kill it.”

“Who said that? The Hero’s Handbook?”

“N-no. It’s just common knowledge of crime fighting.”

“Listen here, asshole, if you think telling me what I’m doing is wrong, think again cause I can do a hell of a lot worse than slitting a throat.” Vagabond snapped, pointing her bloody knife at the other hero.

“Well, sorry if I want to do the job right.”

“Doing the job right? There’s no right way to do this job, now come on, Spidey, we better get the fuck on outta here if we don’t wanna be here when the cops gotta clean up our mess.”

“Correction; your mess.” Peter replied in a snarky tone, the other hero pissing him off.

Vagabond rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You coming or not?”

Peter groaned. “I’m coming.”

He followed the woman out of the building and into the alleyway as she removed her red wig. He thought that was just her hair color, but he was wrong and her h/l h/c hair fell free as she continued to remove her mask, walking far ahead of Peter.

“What’s your name?” She asked, not looking back at him.


“Not your superhero name, dumbass, I meant your real one.”

“It’s, uh, Peter.”

“Damn, I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

Vagabond turned around with a smile, revealing her face to Peter who felt a gasp rise in the back of his throat.

“What’s up, Parker?”

“Y/N?! You’re Vagabond?!” Peter asked, astounded by the fact that his best friend was his rival.

“In the flesh. Now, tell me, Peter, why didn’t you tell me you were the spider?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were the misfit of a hero?”

“You never asked.” Y/n smirked. “Well, now that we know our alter egos, do you wanna go get shawarma? There’s a really good place down the street.”

“How can you eat after all that blood?” Peter questioned, a chill going down his spine.

“You can never underestimate the appetite of a young hero.”

7 Thoughts about Spider-Man: Homecoming

I know I am late to the party but I finally saw the latest Marvel film, Spider-Man: Homecoming. Growing up, I was much more of a Batman and X-Men fan than I was a Spider-Man fan but I remember going to the theater to see Spider-Man (2002). Hard to believe that was fifteen years ago! I remember loving Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker / Spider-Man and Willem Dafoe as Norman Osborn / Green Goblin and I remember loving the 2004 sequel even more. I remember being disappointed by Spider-Man 3 and I did not even bother to see the reboot films featuring Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone.

Spider-Man: Homecoming debuted in theaters on July 7, 2017. I went into the film with zero expectations, having suffered from bouts of hero fatigue as of late. Fortunately I walked away from the movie with the biggest smile on my face. Spider-Man: Homecoming was a breath of fresh air and was the perfect two-hour and 21-minute distraction I needed from the dumpster fire that is our current political climate. While Tobey Maguire was my first Spider-Man, Tom Holland is the Spider-Man and he more than holds his own alongside Robert Downey, Jr. and Michael Keaton.

Below I will share my seven thoughts in regards to the Spider-Man: Homecoming. Before you continue, I should let you know there will be spoilers in regards to the film. You have been warned…

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Warriors (Peter Parker x Reader) Chapter 1: Unexpected Visitor

Originally posted by clutterbucky


Relationships: Peter Parker x fem!hero!reader

Warnings: Cursing and some very light smut. Like so light it’s basically not even smut more of a mention honestly.

Summary: Essentially a Wonder Woman AU but with some differences. You grew up in Asgard. You’ve lived there your whole life. But then your life changes when Peter Parker stumbles into Asgard, and right into you. There have been recent attacks by aliens on Earth. And Thor and Tony have been working together to try and stop them. And Peter has been dying to help but Tony and Thor both think it’s too dangerous for him. So when he accidentally stumbles into Asgard he’s going to need your help to get out without Tony or Thor noticing. You agree to help him. On one condition…He takes you to Earth with him to fight off the invading aliens. 

“Thor look out!” Tony calls out and points at a giant troll like creature coming towards him. 

Thor easily knocks it away with his hammer and laughs at Tony. 

“I knew it was coming Tony. If anything that troll should have been looking out for me!” He bellows and takes down a few more aliens that were terrorizing New York City. 

“Yeah I know. Just be careful. I don’t want to worry about anyone getting hu-” Tony says then stops when he sees an alien get hit by a web and pinned to the ground. “Shit.” 

He turns and sees Spider-Man swing into the street. Webbing down aliens that were threatening to attack citizens. Tony grumbled to himself and called Peter using FRIDAY. Peter picks up using Karen.

“Oh hey Mr. Stark! What do you think? I’m doing good right?” Peter asks.  

“What are you doing here Parker!” Tony yells at him. “These things are extremely dangerous! You shouldn’t be fighting them!” 

“Yeah well ever since I took down those weapons sellers I’ve sort of got a reputation to hold up and-” Peter explains and Tony cuts him off. 

“I don’t care about any of that! These things are giving me and Thor a run for our money! The last thing we need is to worry about- LOOK OUT!” Tony yells at him and Peter immediately swings away from a giant alien that slammed his fist down where he was perched on a building a second ago. 

“Thanks for the heads up Mr. Stark! I’ll watch out for you too-” Peter starts but Tony cuts him off. 

“No you will not! You will go home right now or else I’ll give Happy instructions to ground you from crime fighting for a month.” Tony says. 

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A New Hero Pt. 2 | Spider-Man Imagine

Pt. 1

Spider-Man x Reader
Words: 1.9k
Disclaimer: pg-13 bc of mild language

(thank you @booyfriendtom loml for beta reading this and making my heart feel full like you always do)


“Oh, you again…” you said without even acknowledging he was suddenly standing there next to you. Maybe he was even trying to surprise you, it didn’t matter. You were not thrilled.

 "You don’t sound thrilled about that.“ He said crossing his arms. 

 "Sorry your majesty…” you turn to face him and widen your eyes to look excited and surprised. Hands go to your cheeks in a Home Alone manner. Spider-Man immediately squints, displeased, but you ignore him and really fill your voice with shrill excitement. “Oh my god! It’s you! Spider-Man! No no no, the Spider-Man! From youtube!" 

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March of the Champs

I made another art! This time of my top 10 all-time favorite characters from fiction. If y’all need a list, here ya go (In order from greatest to least):

1: Vash the Stampede (Trigun)
He’s a bad-ass gunman with a bounty on his head, but he’s a warrior for love and peace… That and he loves doughnuts. A man after my own heart.

2: Kamina (Gurren Lagann)
Usually, I don’t care for the sage advice kinda characters, but this guy was just a bad-ass dork while doing all that. I think that comes from the fact that he feels like the big brother we all wish we could have, otherwise Simon wouldn’t have called him “Bro” all the time.

3: Ruby Rose (RWBY)
Short, simple, and sweet answer: If it’s wrong to be in love with a fictional character, then I don’t wanna be right.

4: Marco Diaz (Star vs. The Forces of Evil)
Short, simple, and sweet answer: This guy is my f***in’ spirit animal, anytime he’s on screen, I see a half-Latino smol bean version of myself.

5: Ryuko Matoi (Kill la Kill)
One, she’s strong AF. Two, she don’t need no man (In fact, last time I checked, I think she was a lesbian, and I’ma keep that head cannon goin’). Three, She’s just an all around bad-ass with good character growth.

6: Natsuki Subaru (Re:ZERO)
Something about this character reminds me of Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man, a guy who will take any angle when faced with a roadblock, and constantly try and find a way to fix his current situation until he reaches “victory”… I’ll show myself out.

7: Deadpool (Marvel)
Short, simple, and sweet answer: It’s mother-f***ing Deadpool god-dammit.

8: Nostalgia Critic (Youtube/Channel Awesome)
He counts! He’s this funny-as-all-hell cynic of a movie critic who actually is rather thought provoking these days. Every video, he either gets me thinking about things, or laughing my ass off… or both.

9: Stanley Pines (Gravity Falls)
Easily the most complex character to me in all of GF, and the funniest as well. He’s just this con-artist great-uncle looking to try and bring his brother back, and make a few bucks

10: Asuka Langley Soryu (Evangelion)
Usually, I f***ing hate tsunderes, but this one really works for me. I think it’s just because of how broken she is… I don’t wanna say it’s therapeutic for me, but s therapeutic for me to see a tsundere suffer. That and she’s a strong-as-hell female he pilots a giant robot… BAD-ASS.

I might make another one soon, as I wanted to do more, but that’s for another time.

Peter Park/Deadpool: No Heroes Here

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |

[A/N: Fair Warning. Complete butchering of Dr. Strange’s Powers ahead]

Deadpool kicked down the door to New York’s Sanctum. Peter had no idea what Deadpool meant by sanctum, other than that he’d been taken to some old building that looked a lot different from the outside than it on the inside. The outside looked like an old building that had been renovated to include modern features. The inside looked like a monastery though. 

Deadpool had mentioned something about magicians and mystic arts, and Peter had tuned him out in favor of freaking out and hoping to whatever deity was listening that Dr. Strange would save him from Deadpool. Dr. Strange seemed like a powerful guy. Hopefully he could do something. 

Men and women in robes whirled away from what they were doing to face Deadpool. In a flurry of hand movements, the men and women produced glowing, orange weapons.

“All right!” Deadpool swung Peter over his shoulders like a scarf and unsheathed his katana. “Mindless and gratuitous violence.”

Peter cringed. “Please don’t kill anyone.” Peter wiggled on Deadpool’s shoulders. He tried to slid free but couldn’t. “Also, could you put me down, please?”

“Oh, Baby Boy, you have no idea how much I love you right now. Also, how exasperated I am. You’re such a broken record.” Deadpool charged at the men and women. 

“I don’t want to be involved in this!” Peter shouted. 

“Too late!” Deadpool cried jovially as he rushed at some guy with a glowing, orange whip. “The stabbing will end when I see Dr. Strange.” 

“Someone, please get Dr. Strange!” Peter screamed. 

If anyone went to fetch Dr. Strange, it was at a snail’s pace. 

It was swords versus magic, with the occasional bullet thrown in—or shot in, as it were. Peter didn’t know who to root for. On the one hand, he would love for Deadpool to be subdued. On the other hand, when the Jedi-wannabes attacked Deadpool, they also attacked Peter. Peter might not be their true target, but it didn’t change the fact that Peter was attached to their target.

Deadpool dodged their attacks like he was psychic. He hadn’t killed anyone yet, but was enjoying stabbing and slicing anyone who got in his range. People were going to need stitches and blood transfusions. 

“Deadpool” a voice bellowed. Suddenly Deadpool (and Peter by extension) were lifted in the air via a glowing, ring of orange energy banded around Deadpool’s arms and waist. 

Floating at the top of a dual staircase in blue clothes that looked ancient, and adorned with a red cloak was none other than Dr. Strange and his skunk hair. His expression was thunderous as he rose higher into the air. He reached the same height as Deadpool and drifted close until he was within stabbing distance of Deadpool. 

“You might want to give yourself some space, Doc.” Peter wiggled and almost rolled off of Deadpool’s shoulders and onto the ground many feet below. “I know you got Deadpool in a bind right now, but no one should ever be within stabbing distance of this guy.” 

“Aw, Baby Boy,” Deadpool cooed. “You’re so sweet. Thank you for the compliment.” 

Peter sighed and placed his forehead in his palm.Down below the Jedi-wannabe’s were helping each other to their feet. Anyone who had been seriously wounded by Deadpool was receiving medical attention. 

Suddenly Peter’s body felt lighter and Deadpool’s shoulders weren’t digging into his gut. 

“Hey! That’s my future boyfriend, you perv!” Deadpool shouted. 

Peter cried out in surprise when he looked down and saw his body floating away from Deadpool’s. Luminescent, orange bands that were smaller than the one holding Deadpool, encircled Peter’s wrists and ankles. Slowly he floated to the ground. The bands disappeared once Peter’s toes touched the floor. 

“I hope you are all right,” Dr. Strange said, still maintaining a close distance to Deadpool. 

Peter rubbed his wrists. “I’m fine. I just need to go home, and—shit! Work! I need to be at work!” Last Peter had checked he was nowhere near his evening job. He’d have to get a taxi, unless someone in the sanctum had a smart phone linked up to an Uber app.

“Wait! Wait!” Deadpool wiggled. “Don’t let him go just yet, Doc. I need you to show him something. He’s a hero, and he doesn’t know it. He’s like you and Captain America, except cooler.” 

“Ignore him. He’s crazy. Everyone knows that.” Peter backed toward the exit. 

“Doc, this has to do with the multi-verse! I need you to look deep inside yourself and find your inner dickbag Dr. Reed Richards so that I can prove that while I may be crazy, I am not crazy when I say the guy before you is one of the best super heroes ever, and for some reason this god damn universe fucked up and left him an average Joe with a super ass. An ass that tragically isn’t covered in spandex.” 

“The multi-verse?” Dr. Strange’s brows drew together. He scrutinized Peter. 

“Listen, you’re the real super hero, or magician, whatever you consider yourself,” Peter said. “Point is, you’ve fought evil space aliens and stuff alongside the Avengers.” Peter backed toward the front door. “You can handle Deadpool. I’m just a normal guy, like he said, so…”

There was a loud sound behind Peter, like the sound of a bolt being slid into place. 

Damn it! Abducted by Deadpool, and now Dr. Strange. How was this his life? 

Dr. Strange floated down to Peter’s level. “You do look familiar.” 

Peter sighed. He held up his hands and shrugged. “Maybe I delivered pizza to you once?” 

“Think about it, Doc!” Deadpool shouted. “Think about all the times you peered into your crystal ball and saw Spider-Man.” 

Dr. Strange scowled at Deadpool, but his gaze kept flickering back to Peter. 

Peter’s stomach churned. “I really need to go to work.” 

“What’s your name?” Dr. Strange asked. 

“Peter Parker.” 

“Peter Parker,” Dr. Strange spoke the name as if he were tasting wine. He reflected upon the name for a moment. There was a flash of recognition, then Dr. Strange was studying Peter once again. “Peter, I understand your desire to leave, but I think it would be wise to linger. Even if Deadpool’s claims are wrong, he is a persistent individual. It might be wise to go through the motions of verifying his claim. Otherwise, we might find ourselves in this situation once again.” 

“You’re saying you’re going to give the bad guy exactly what he wants?” Peter deadpanned. What kind of upside-down universe was he in? Dr. Strange should be kicking Deadpool’s ass for abduction and breaking and entering. Heck, he should at least be fighting in the names of all his friends Deadpool just stabbed. 

Dr. Strange looked like he had sucked on a lemon. “Unfortunately, yes. If recent battles with Deadpool have proven anything, it’s that negotiation and compromise are usually the best methods for keeping Deadpool in check. Even if he just stabbed several sorcerers.” 

“Listen, I just found out my future boyfriend has been denied his super hero destiny. I’m a little emotional right now, and your friends made me feel so attacked, okay?” 

Peter thrust his arms at Deadpool. “Did you hear that? Did you? How can you consider going along with someone like him?” 

“Because, Baby Boy, I will cut myself in half to get free from this magic stuff then drag you back here if you walk out that door.”

“You can’t do that!” Peter shouted. He then asked more quietly at Dr. Strange. “Can he do that?” 

Dr. Strange sighed. “Deadpool is resilient, and he very well could do that. I can delay him. In fact, I could delay him for some time, but-”

“Son of a bitch! That fucking hurts!” Deadpool had pushed against his bindings and the orange ring cut into Deadpool’s stomach like a saw. 

Peter gasped in horror. “Holy crap! Put him down! Put him down!” 

Dr. Strange huffed and with a few fancy hand movements, he lowered Deadpool to the ground. He didn’t undo the magical binds around him. Deadpool continued to struggle, and the magic cut into him more. 

“Stop!” Peter seized Deadpool by the shoulders. “I’ll miss work, okay? I’ll miss work and go along with this crazy idea of yours.”  

“You know, I’m kind of insulted that you would choose work over me.” Deadpool hissed in pain as the bindings continued to cut into him. “You mind freeing me, Doc?”

Dr. Strange eyed Deadpool warily. “I shouldn’t.” 

Peter was horrified. Sure, Deadpool was a terrible person, but that didn’t mean he deserved to be magically sawed in half. “Let him go. This is inhumane!” 

“Aw, Baby Boy.” Deadpool’s head lolled to the side. He smiled up at Peter. “I’m so happy you care. This is why I need you. You’re just so good.” 

The orange rings around Deadpool vanished. Dr. Strange kept his hands raised and poised to work his weird magic if Deadpool attacked. 

Deadpool breathed deep.

Peter reached out to touch Deadpool then stopped himself. “He needs medical attention.” 

“He doesn’t,” Dr. Strange stated. “He has an increased healing factor. It’s why he is so resilient.” 

“You could still give him some Advil,” Peter snapped. God, was he really defending Deadpool? The man who happily stabbed people and had abducted Peter? He must be catching whatever crazy Deadpool had, because just five minutes ago he wouldn’t have imagined himself defending Deadpool. 

Deadpool chuckled and rose to his feet. He pressed one hand to his abdomen. “It’s okay, Baby Boy. Just a few more seconds and the cut will heal completely.” He grabbed Peter’s arm and squeezed it in what seemed like comfort, but Peter swore he must be misreading Deadpool. “I just need you to understand. I can take you home after that, then we can celebrate your birthday with booze, cake, and a little something special if you’re in the mood.” 

Deadpool winked. 

That soul-puking sensation returned to Peter. “I swear if you weren’t holding me right now, I’d walk out of here.” 

“That’s what she said.” Deadpool laughed then stopped suddenly. “Oh man, that is what she said. That was really harsh. Not like I was asking her to cuddle. Deadpool don’t cuddle. He’s a macho man. I’d of course cuddle with you though,” Deadpool eagerly tacked on for Peter.

“Thanks,” Peter said sarcastically. 

“Perhaps it would be best if we went to a private chamber?” Dr Strange gestured to the grand hallway above the dual staircase. 

“Alone in a room with, Baby Boy?” Deadpool puffed out chest and grinned. It’s a dream come true. “Come on, baby.” Deadpool yanked  Peter toward the deep reaches of the sanctum. Behind them Dr. Strange and one of the sorcerers exchanged a few words. 

Peter wilted under the stormy looks of the sorcerers who watched him and Deadpool. It was so painfully obvious that they were not welcome in the sanctum. It was just one more reason to get this thing over with. Dr. Strange would use his magic, prove that Peter wasn’t the alternate universe version of this Spider-Man guy, and then Peter would go to work. 

Peter startled as Dr. Strange floated past him and Deadpool. Dr. Strange pushed open a door and gestured for Deadpool and Peter to go inside. 

The room was sparse, with just a few pieces of furniture and a carpet in the center of the room. An incense burner hung in one of the corners, and on the table was a scrap of paper with the word “Shamballa” written on it.  

“Make yourselves comfortable.” Dr. Strange waved at the room. “Someone is gathering the supplies we’ll need.” 

“Magic mirror?” Deadpool asked. “Magical wardrobe!” Deadpool cooed. “Please tell me, we’re going to have to travel through Narnia.”

“There are many worlds—many universes—and all of them are connected. Even so, peering into alternate realities is no easy feat. You might find it easier to step into a hidden world on another plane of existence. Because as-”

“Blah, blah, blah.” Deadpool mimed talking with his hands. “We get it, you’re not Reed Richards. You’re the mystical guy who goes to magical realms and stuff. Well, right now, you’re what we got, so stop yammering and start making magic.” 

Peter sighed. He was tempted to point out that Deadpool should not exasperate the guy who was helping him, but Peter could already hear Deadpool’s rebuttal.

Dr. Strange took offense, but if he intended to say anything to Deadpool about it, he was interrupted by one of the sorcerers bringing a tea kettle and two cups. Dr. Strange thanked the sorcerer as he took the items. The sorcerer accepted the gratitude then went over to the incense burner. 

“Take a seat on the carpet.” Dr. Strange did so himself and poured what looked and smelled like tea into the cups.

“I don’t know, this rug looks pretty dirty. It’s going to ruin my suit.” Deadpool may have protested, but he plopped himself on the floor. 

Peter joined him with a bit of caution to his movements. The carpet was old and thin. The floor beneath it was hard and would probably damage something if Peter dropped himself on it. 

With a gaudy lighter, the sorcerer lit the incense burner. Dr. Strange thanked him again, and the the sorcerer gave a nod of acceptance. The sorcerer cast a Peter and Deadpool a look of distrust as he exited the room. 

 Dr. Strange handed Peter and Deadpool the two cups of tea. “These will help free your mind, and make it easer for you to peer into alternate universes. 

Peter wrinkled his nose. Dread pulled on Peter’s stomach. Dr. Strange was a hero. He had worked with the Avengers, and he was pretty cool. Not as cool as Iron Man or Captain America, but still awesome enough that Peter had trusted the guy to help him, and Dr. Strange had. Now that Peter was sitting in what looked like a room belonging to a monastery and being offered a drink by essentially a stranger, he doubted himself and Dr. Strange. 

“All right, let’s try some of these psychedelic drugs.” Deadpool lifted up the bottom half of his mask and downed the tea. 

Peter blinked then stared at the scared skin on Deadpool’s chin. The scars were red and angry. Peter’s jaw ached in sympathy. He wondered what the hell had happened to Deadpool for him to get scars like that. 

“The hell?” Deadpool ripped the cup from his mouth and scowled. “That was just regular tea.” 

“You sure the drugs aren’t just tasteless?” Peter asked. 

“There are no drugs in the tea,” Dr. Strange stated. “The tea is meant to calm and relax you. That is all.” 

“This sucks,” Deadpool whined and dropped his cup on the ground. 

Peter looked at the cup in his hands. He sniffed the beverage. It smelled like chamomile. Hesitant, Peter sipped the tea. He didn’t taste anything odd, so he he continued to drink until he slurped up the last drop. He set the cup aside. “Now what?”

Dr. Strange thrust his palms at Peter and Deadpool’s foreheads. “Now, I free you from your physical constraints.” 

One moment Peter was sitting on the floor and the next he was floating above his body. Peter barely had time to panic as a force pushed him backwards. He cried out in shock. A wispy figure of Deadpool shouted something beside him, but Peter couldn’t make out his words. A blinding white light shined behind them, and soon Peter was thrown into it. 

There were stars and galaxies around Peter. He flipped and spun in the vacuum of space, only to be pulled toward a door. Peter reached out to grab something, and his hands gripped Deadpool’s. 

“Wild ride, right?” Deadpool hollered. 

Then they weren’t in space anymore. Peter didn’t know where they were, but everything was distorted. A Dali’s painting was more comprehensible then the aurora like skies and the neon green bridges that connected doors, pits, and toxic looking lakes. 

It all faded to black. 

Peter squeezed Deadpool’s hands, needing an anchor. He didn’t feel Deadpool though. 

The blinding light that had sucked Peter in returned with images of himself, except they weren’t of him. The person he saw looked like him, but the things that version of him did were impossible for Peter. The person wore a spandex suit and saved people. He called himself Spider-Man. He fought alongside other heroes. He even joined forces with Deadpool to fight a monkey assassin. 

He saw himself with the friends he’d had before his parents had died and he had been put into foster care. He saw himself break down over the loss of a friend. He saw himself with his Aunt May. 

Suddenly Peter was back in the room with Dr. Strange and Deadpool. 

“Whoa! What a trip. Who needs drugs when you can do that. Right, Baby bo-Fuck!” 

Deadpool’s curse snapped Peter out of his daze. 

Tears rolled down Peter’s cheek. He’d been crying. 

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the-last-alicorn  asked:

I really like Belial as the villain in Geed! I'm only a few episodes in, but he seems like an awesome kind of villain. What do you think?

The thing about Ultraman Belial that I really love is that he’s almost a mirror image of Ultraman Zero.  They both have a similar origin story but with two very different outcomes.  Long ago, Belial looked like this:

He was a very promising young Ultra warrior attached to the Space Garrison with a bright future ahead of him.  However, he grew power hungry and attempted to directly harness the power of the Plasma Spark, which provided all life and power to his home planet.  

He was caught though and because of his transgression and unrepentant power hunger, he was exiled from the Land of Light. Cut off from his home, he was approached by the evil alien Raybrad who had the ability to control monsters.  He merged with the fiend to sate his lust for power and then returned to the Land of Light to take what he believed was his.  He was defeated by Ultraman King and imprisoned for millennia alone and cut off from all contact with the universe.

Ultraman Zero on the other hand, had a similar early life as a promising young Ultra Warrior who craved power and tried to take it from the Plasma Spark.  However, as the Ultra Garrison had learned their lesson from the disaster with Belial, they exiled him from their world but put him in the hands of a more experienced Ultra Warrior, Ultraman Leo, for training under the every watchful eye of Ultraman King.

So, when Belial was freed and stole the Plasma Spark, freezing the Land of Light, it fell to the now repentant Ultraman Zero to face the dark reflection of what he might have become had he not been given a chance at redemption.  That’s why they make such perfect adversaries and why Belial is such a personal enemy of the Ultra Heroes in general.  He is their failure and if they had shown him the same compassion they did Zero, he might have become a hero like Zero.  Or, he might have never repented and been just as bad as he was.  No one will ever know.

I think he’s one of the best additions to the Ultraman mythos in ages.  There was never a truly evil Ultra before (at least not in the M78 continuity) so adding one who was corrupted by a lust for power and serves as the evil opposite of his society is a nice touch.  I’ve always liked bad versions of the heroes whether it be Venom for Spider-Man, Red Skull for Captain America or Jaden Sentai Nejiranger for Denji Sentai Megaranger.

To me, having such a dark reflection type character is important for a superhero and a trope that’s almost essential.  The fact that we have Belial as a central character in a TV series nominally about his son is a great idea.  Zero is the son of Ultraseven, one of the greatest heroes of the Ultra Garrison and he is trying to live up to the legacy of his Father.  Geed is the son of the worst villain the Land of Light has ever produced and is trying to live down the dark deeds of his Father while redeeming his tainted bloodline as a Hero.  It’s an interesting juxtaposition and one of the reasons I am really glad Zero is in Ultraman Geed.  He gets to be the mentor now that Leo was for him.

Wanna know what confuses me about Spiderman Homecoming???

the fact that there are some people that are really out here Reaching So Hard to turn Tony Stark into the villain??? They criticise him for taking Peter to Germany “to fight” when Peter was really only there acting as a set of handcuffs to stop the Rogue Avengers from doing even more damage to the team. Then they criticise him for letting Peter keep the multi-million dollar Spidey Suit (which has more safety features than the fucking 2017 Toyota Prius) and for wanting him to Stay Close To The Ground Helping The Little People. Then they bitch when Tony takes the suit back after Peter was being Reckless with it by Hacking the Training Wheels Protocol and Doing the Exact Opposite of what Tony told him To Do. They also bitch about how “Tony doesn’t care about Peter” by not contacting him for two months (as if he didn’t have the fucking Sokovia Accords to deal with and putting out PR fires) when it was Actually Explicitly Shown in the movie that Tony Listened to All The Voicemails Peter Sent - he even knew about the Churro Lady and that Peter quit Band Practice. He kept Tabs on Peter the Whole Time. Just because Tony wasn’t Physically There doesn’t mean he Wasn’t There. I mean, how did people expect Tony to be there for him? By Moving In with him and Aunt May and Being with Peter 24/7 Watching his Every Move Like A Hawk????? By Handcuffing Himself to Peter so he couldn’t run off and do something Reckless and Stupid??? 

AND AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING ABOUT TONY STARK BEING “THe ReAL ViLlAiN oF sPideR mOn hOmECoMiNg” THEY WILL LITERALLY IN THE SAME FUCKING BREATH SYMPATHISE with The Vulture who was doing Very Illegal Things, who fucking Threatened a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD KID’S LIFE (and everybody he loves) and Dropped an Entire Building on said Fifteen Year Old Kid ALL BECAUSE they Felt Bad for him when he and his Rookie Clean Up Team were told by an Official Government Agency that they were Not Equipped to Handle Fucking Alien Technology left over from the Avengers Battle in NYC. I mean in what Fucking World would the Government let some Random Clean Up Crew handle Alien Tech????? NONE. 

Ya’ll are Fucked Up.

Ya’ll need Jesus.