i just love his family man

anonymous asked:

*SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* WHAT ARE THE BROTHERS FAVORITE MEMORIES WITH EACHOTHER?? I NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH I NEEDED THIS

I have been summoned

Osomatsu: Every memory is probably just being with all his brothers.. He’s a real family man www

Karamatsu: When Karamatsu sings to his brothers, it just feels like a special and significant moment to him~

Choromatsu: Osomatsu kun was probably his favourite memory in a nutshell www

Ichimatsu: Same as Osomatsu, he loves to spend it with his brothers ~

Jyushimatsu: EPISODE 25!!! HE LOVES PLAYING BASEBALL WITH NII-SAN!!

Todomatsu: Watching them suffer….Going to the races are really fun, and winning a shit ton of money

💔

We care so much about these boys and that means also caring for their loved ones. The ones our boys lean on for love and care. Harry has just lost one of his closest. Please respect the family’s wish for privacy. They should not have to deal with even a well-meaning fan right now.
My heart and thoughts go out to Robin’s family and friends. I salute you Mr Twist, you seem to have been and incredible man with lots of humor and joy. RIP

no but honestly

american gods is doing what no other show has done

in the extent of what’s doing, i mean

a graphic sex scene where a woman swallows up a man through her vagina? check

a graphic sex scene between two men of color that is hot and poetic at the same time? check

a mexican jesus who gets shot by american guns while he’s saving a mexican family cross the border? check

a muslim man praying where the other two white characters stay quiet, respecting his faith despite not believing in it? check

and it’s not just for the shock of it

i fucking love this show

5

E m m a, when we met, there was just one thing that mattered to me, getting my revenge. And you did something that no one else ever could. You showed me that a heart full of love was the most precious treasure of all and one that I don’t intend to lose. They say that a captain’s heart belongs to his ship. And with this ring, it now belongs to you.

K i l l i a n, I spent so much of my life on my own. And then, Henry found me and brought me to Storybrooke and helped me find the rest of my family. But just because you learn that you come from true love doesn’t mean you believe that you’ll ever find it. But thanks to you, now I have.

Do you, Killian Jones, take this woman to be your wife and to love her for all eternity? I do. And do you, Emma Swan, take this man to be your husband and love him for all eternity? I do. Then it is with great pleasure that I now pronounce you  h u s b a n d  a n d  w i f e.

BOYFRIEND! BTS - JUNGKOOK EDITION

☆Dating Jungkook would include☆

Originally posted by beatriceindre

-A WHOLE LOT OF AWKWARDNESS (before the emergence of the cocky muscle pig)

 -We all know kookie is a shy bunny so dont expect much from this fluffy meme ball at the begininning

-It would probably take few months(or years) for kookie to hold your hand 

 -FoR rEaL Tho

 -This bunny would be his own enemy when it came to intiating skinship 

 - ‘Y/N LimBs aRe finAlLy FreE–..oh no .. s/he’s eating some chips now… ‘oh man holy shit’ “ 

-MEMEMEMEMEMEMESSSS

 - Your messages between each other would just be full on meme

 - because meme is his favourite language

-only being able to talk to you through text 

 - tHe poor bOY woUld bE fRoZeN iN front of yOU

-Going to the hyungs for advice

 -but ends up getting teased T.T

-Lots of amusement park and active dates… you better bring your asthma pump with you..i mean you are dating jeon jungkook after all

 -IRON MAN NEED I SAY MORE 

 - Taking nothing but ugly pictures of each other

-and using them as blackmail weapons

 - YOUr wHOle family lOVe hiM

 -you look like the devil besides him to them he can do no wrong

-you two being the 'no you hang up first’ couple in the beginning but now he just hangs up 

 -tbh you both get off of annoying each other

 - (video calling your dad) 

You:Daddy! How are you? 

《A wild Jungkook appears behind you》 

Jungkook: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Daddy’s fine… wHO iS– 

 Throws your phone out the window 

 -” Lets never speak of this again" 

“Since when did you become 'Daddy’? ” 

“Hussshhh~~( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ”

 - You going to watch their dance practices = him forcing the memebers to dress up in live performance attire 

 -Jimin having to accept that kookie is taken T.T

- “Im okay rlly..anyways Taehyung’s free ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)…”

 -If you’re short》You being teased mercilessly; Picked up at random times; literally being smothered when you hug him ; being called cuTE all tHE tIME; SPINS ALL THE TIME

 -If you’re tall》 marvelling at your beautiful long legs; no discrimination YOU’D ALSO BE CALLED CUTE ALL THE TIME; Seriously kookie would marvel at how elegant you looked; him being able to rest hishead on your shoulder,; KOOKIE SAID HE LIKES TALL GIRLS SO~~(i nEeD tO gROw) 

 - A lot of inside jokes… people just end up thinking you two are dumb beans -

 - Dont forget all the meme dances #1 Dance couple

-You guys would probably end up uploading a video with all of your signature meme dances combined 

 -Anime marathons~~~ if your not a fan of anime. you soon will be

SEXY TIMES (oH gOD nO)

Expectation:

Originally posted by ultranicolet

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Originally posted by queenwithcollars


REALITY (☆_☆)

Originally posted by kpoptrashandproud

Originally posted by mayfifolle

Originally posted by bts-yes-please

Originally posted by reneemallen

-You’d probably have to initiate any kind of intimacy 

-but once he feels comfortable with you –_-_-_-_-_-_ R.I.P YOU

-sERioUSLy- This boy would be a fuckin incubus once his shyness is gone

-kOoKiE tHe pErvErT iS bOrN

-You’d have to fence him off from you

-He wouldnt really be into public teasing because he’s a really private person

-if he decided to initiate it, he’d be fine

-THIGH RIDING

-A WHOLE LOT OF THIGH RIDING

-YOU BETTER WORSHIP THEM THIGHS

-You getting angry when he leaves visble hickeys but him still continuing

-You then plan on getting him back but then realise the massive sHit StOrm it would create so you back down

-instead you hide all his timberlands and replace all his white shirts with brony merch because you believe everyone should love my little pony 

Originally posted by kpopruinedmy-soul

- He wouldnt really be into PDA especially in front of the members. it would be too embarrassing for him.. he stiLl sHY and the hyungs have no mercy

☆Overall kookie would be a fun and chill boyfriend, a bit sensitive as long as you’re okay with dishing out hugs and affirmations then there should be no problem☆

Admin noodlecat

shows on netflix u should definitely be watching
  • Crazy-Ex Girlfriend - ITS A COMEDY MUSICAL, GUYS, CREATED BY RACHEL BLOOM (who won a golden globe?? YES HER). get to the 3rd episode at least. there’s an OPENLY BISEXUAL CHARACTER (later on in the season) and its such a good representation of love & what it actually is and growing up and letting go?? such a good show
  • BoJack Horseman - just a really, really good & cleverly written show about an anthropomorphic horse. 7000% animal puns. 5000% describes exactly how u feel about life and sadness.
  • Jane the Virgin - CUTE!! mock telenovela that deals with lots of social issues, like immigration, etc (the last episode i watched had the narrator checking every scene for the bechdel test omg) ALSO, arrested development level narration, fam, get on this. gina rodriguez will slay ur ass
  • Bob’s Burgers - such a good lil family show about a burger joint. watch this when you need to laugh or just to lift ur spirits. also, we are all either gene, louise, or tina. don’t lie
  • Lovesick (prev. Scrotal Recall) - adorable show prev. suffering from a truly tragic name. cute & british, about a man who finds out he has chlamydia and has to tell all of his previous sexual partners. you’ll fall in love with these characters by the end of s1, they’re all so dear to me
  • Master of None - aziz ansari’s show. each episode is basically a lil movie. the love story is ridiculously cute and it talks on some subjects rlly well
  • Jessica Jones - !!!!!!! if you haven’t seen this, GET ON IT. esp. if you’re a girl, cause this is SUCH A RELATABLE SHOW FOR WOMEN. grizzled neo-noir female detective? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. also, watch daredevil if u wanna be caught up for Marvel’s Defenders, which is gonna be sofuckinggood
  • Sense8 - HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN THIS ONE? god, it’s so good. it’s got some problems but overall it does well @ showing other cultures and also some kickass sequences and wow main the characters interacting is just A1
  • It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia/The League - this is. so funny. get past the 1st season and its such a good garbage show. the characters are such assholes, dude. they’re horrible. super dark humor, only watch if ur into that/ funny show abt a fantasy football league. both garbage shows and i love them w all my heart
  • Arrested Development - just in case u haven’t seen the best show ever written. basis of basically every comedy show u love. watch.
  • The Office - how have u not binged the office?? binge the office.
  • Comedy Specials - comedy specials are an UNTAPPED GOLDMINE on netflix. some of my fave comedians are John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, Ali Wong, Chelsea Peretti, Donald Glover, Jim Gaffigan, and Aziz Ansari.

BONUS - non-netflix shows u should also be watching

  • You’re The Worst - messed up characters and darkkk dry humor, but the second season does such an EXCELLENT job at portraying depression!! also, a dysfunctional relationship that is not necessarily unhealthy (sometimes, tho, sometimes)
  • Community - ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS. Gets emotional so quickly. S1-3 are some of the best moments on television. skip S4. S5-6 are good but S1-3 are amazing. characters will become all of ur faves
  • Westworld - my expectations for this show were sky-high and it has oNLY PROVED THEM RIGHT! half sci-fi, half western fantasy VR, all badass. i have no idea what’s going on and i love it. literally Robots With Anxiety #relatable

pls add to this if you have any great shows, and i’ll update this list whenever i find something else wonderful that i don’t hear people talking about

Idk man, a widowed father who works full time and lives in his car so he can afford to keep his child fed while he lives with his aunts, who still makes time to see his kid every day, and who is possibly the only family member that child has who has not implicitly or explicitly wished in front of him that his mother had survived instead of him, fostering an intense survivor’s guilt in him where he feels like his loved ones blame him for the death of his mother

I just don’t see how people have ever managed to call Greg Universe a deadbeat, I mean, the one time the dude did a mildly bad thing is when he lied about being hurt so he could spend more time with Steven who he felt was drifting away from him, and even then he copped to it and apologized. His sole concern as a character in the entire show is taking care of and being there for his kid, he’s honestly one of the best dads on TV and I think it’s sad that people act like he’s a shitty father because he’s poor and spends what little available time and money he has on his son who he loves more than anything

let me tell you why i love riverdale’s version of jughead jones. 

jughead jones is the son of a deadbeat alcoholic gang member father and an absent mother and brother to a sister who he considers one of the coolest people alive. his father is prone to violence, neglectful, and a terrible influence, and yet through his own actions and intentions, jughead is an intelligent, thoughtful, gentle young man who, despite choosing homelessness over living under his father’s roof, still sees the best in his father and hopes he can become a better man. despite being abandoned by his mother, despite being neglected by his father, jughead never abandons them. he doesn’t resent his parents for their failures; he forgives them, and the only thing he wants is for his family to be whole again. 

jughead jones is a friend to archie andrews, who ditched him over the summer to go bang a teacher, and upon finding out about this, jughead is only concerned for archie’s safety and his potential implication in the investigation of jason’s murder. even when he’s hurt and upset by archie’s actions, he’s still primarily concerned about his best friend’s safety, and he’s quick to forgive him as well, because he doesn’t hold grudges. when he’s left without a home after the drive-in closes, he never thinks to ask archie if he can crash at his place because he doesn’t want to be a burden, and because he’s so used to figuring things out on his own it feels strange to ask for help. but when it’s offered, he accepts it, because he has no ego left to bruise and because he would do the same for archie in a heartbeat.

jughead jones is something more to betty cooper, the girl next door who connects with him on a deeper level than anyone else. he sees her for who she really is, not someone perfect to be placed on a pedestal, but someone real who has very real struggles of her own. when archie finds out he’s homeless, jughead’s first concern is making sure that betty doesn’t find out, because he doesn’t want her to worry, because she is dealing with enough issues of her own. he supports her through the entire polly crisis because he knows firsthand how painful it can be to be separated from a sister, and it’s not something he ever wants betty to have to experience. he clears her mind and she makes him happy, and they fit together better than anyone could have ever expected. 

jughead jones is a boy who had to grow up too fast, who has seen the worst the world has to offer, who projects an image of indifference, but deep down, truly believes and hopes for the best. he is empathetic and kind when the world and the people in it have shown him nothing but hardship and apathy.

this is why i love the character of jughead jones.

because his upbringing and his family could have turned him into a bitter, angry man, just like his father.

because he refused to let it. 

I’ve spent some time lately trying to figure out why, exactly, it always rings false to me when people call Viktor a “playboy.” And I think I figured it out:

Viktor Nikiforov believes in love.

Viktor is definitely presented as a playboy. That’s not the problem: he has millions of male and female fans who literally swoon over him, he’s noted for being “free with his charms,” is called “the world’s hottest bachelor,” and his initial behavior with Yuuri is very forward, physical, and flirtatious. Even seven episodes of character growth in, his initial reaction to comfort Yuuri is kissing him.

So it’s not that Viktor doesn’t have the groundwork laid for this interpretation.

Most “playboy” archetypes fall into this pattern of having been hurt in the pat by someone—a parent, a friend, usually a former lover—and they are now jaded and no longer believe in love. The love interest is there to facilitate the playboy’s growth by being warm and loving and caring and everything the playboy needs and convince them that love doesn’t have to hurt. The playboy’s character arc takes them through this long trial in which their love interest is used as free emotional labor and an emotional punching bag while the playboy works out his personal issues.

While we have basically no backstory on Viktor, he doesn’t appear to have been hurt like this in the past. He’s just a sad, lonely man with major depressive disorder and no friends or family, apparently. Which, as my brother pointed out when I made this argument to him, doesn’t sound very much like a playboy.

As soon as he meets Yuuri at the banquet and realizes, “I could fall in love with this man,” he chases it with everything he has. He already knows how much he wants and needs love and how much good it could do him. He’s not running away from affection, he’s running full-tilt toward it.

Which neatly averts any “using Yuuri as an emotional punching bag,” and for that I will be forever grateful.

anonymous asked:

Do you think on the ride home Dean took off his flannel and made Cas put it on to replace his bloody shirt?

“I really am alright, Dean. You don’t need to sit back here with me.”

Dean ignores Castiel’s reassurances, just like he has been ignoring them for the last fifteen minutes.

Dean?

“Cork it, Cas! Mom’s drivin’, Sam’s shotgun, and I’m back here with you, makin’ sure you’re really holdin’ it together. That’s just the way it’s gonna be so stop tryin’ to fight me on it!”

Both Mary and Sam give each other wide-eyed looks, but stay quiet—knowing that Dean is still processing everything that had happened back in the barn. He’s still drowning in the feeling of being out of control, and it’s driving him absolutely nuts.

“Here, Ma” Dean grunts, shoving the Impala’s keys at the woman and then turning back to tend to his angel.

She swiftly nods and takes the keys before ushering her other son around the far side of the car—and then, all at once, they climb in to join Castiel, who has already been carefully placed in the backseat by Dean’s steady hands.

“Does it hurt anywhere?” Dean asks—slightly calmer now but his voice still has a rattle to it.

“No, Dean. I’m feeling fine—just like I said before.”

“Well, you don’t look fine. You’re kinda pale. Sam, doesn’t he look pale to you?”

Sam turns around and gives Cas a sympathetic look before shrugging silently at his older brother, knowing that his opinion doesn’t really matter right now anyway.

“Yeah, see—Sam thinks so. You should lean back a bit.”

“These seats don’t recline, Dean.”

Dean frowns at him. “Then scoot down a little! Jesus, Cas … I’m just tryin’ to make sure you’re okay!”

“I am okay … I have already told you—”

“Scoot down, Castiel!” Mary grits  firmly from the front of the car—glaring at him through the rearview mirror, eyes flicking back and forth between the angel and her eldest son.

He wants to protest again, but then Castiel nods, finally understanding that the only one not fine right now, is Dean, and doing what he asks—no matter how pointless it is, will make him feel a little better … a little more useful. Cas scoots down in his seat.

Dean smiles, happy that his friend is finally listening to him. “Alright then … better?”

Castiel stops himself from rolling his eyes. “Yes … better.”

The proud smirk that immediately graces Dean’s face seems to trim away the tension in the car—until the moment that the folds of Cas’s coat fall away, exposing the dirty, blood-stained white button up beneath. “Oh … shit, man! That looks bad!” the man yelps as soon as he sees it.

Castiel squints and cocks his head to the side, finally following Dean’s eyes down to where the usually clean looking garment, is now a tattered mess strewn about his body. “Oh. Yes, well … I can just—” Cas begins, already lifting his hand to will the mess away, but he stops mid motion—cutting the magic short because the man beside him is starting to fidget in his seat. “Dean? What are you …”

Dean teeters back and forth, wriggling from side to side in the confined space until he finally manages to free one of his arms from the black coat and plaid overshirt that he’s wearing.

“Hold on … almost …” Dean soon rocks all the way over until his head is practically in Cas’s lap—but he doesn’t seem to notice because he’s too focused on freeing his other hand. “There!” he yelps victoriously, finally holding up the plaid shirt for everyone in the car to see.

Sam nods and Mary holds back a chuckle, and Cas just continues to stare at the man—confused and slightly annoyed by everything that he’s doing.

“Okay, Cas. Your turn” Dean says after another moment, eventually turning happy eyes back on the angel.

“My turn?” Cas asks, feeling suddenly nervous about what he’s expected to do.

“Yep” Dean chirps, looking Castiel up and down with a long pull. “Strip and put this on.” He holds the flannel out towards him, but he doesn’t hand it to the angel just yet, as if he’s planning on dressing him himself … and at this point, Cas wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what Dean had in mind.

“Dean …” Castiel grumbles again, now—rolling his eyes for all to see. “You realize that I can fix this, don’t you?”

Dean only grips the shirt tighter in his hand.

“I am an angel … I have the power to—”

“Just put on the damn shirt!” All three Winchesters bark in unison.

And that makes the angel finally throw up his hands in defeat. “Alright!” he exclaims, quickly sitting straight and leaning forward so that he can work his body free from his coat. But before he can completely shimmy it off, Dean’s hands are on him, fiddling with the buttons of Cas’s dirty white shirt. “Um … what are you doing?”

Helping” Dean snaps, but his cheeks are turning red and his hands are starting to shake against the angel’s chest.

Cas stares at him a moment, and then up to the front of the car where Sam and Mary are vehemently avoiding eye contact with anything but the road. So he turns back, just as Dean undoes the final button and pushes the cloth aside, displaying every inch of Castiel’s unmarred skin.

The man then stills for some time—never looking away and holding his breath until the second Castiel is finally able to speak.

You see, Dean … I’m all healed.”

Dean quirks up the side of his mouth, but his face quickly falls flat again, while his eyes bounce away and back several times, seeming torn as to where to look now.

After that, it only takes another minute for Cas to slip out of the ruddy, old shirt and into Dean’s flannel—and for the first time since they left the barn, Dean doesn’t interfere, nor do Mary and Sam act like anything is happening just behind their heads. In fact, the frenzied tone of their drive has seemed to mellow, and even Dean appears to have settled down; although, his hands still twitch with the need for something to do … which doesn’t go unnoticed by the angel at his side.

Castiel sighs, flicking his eyes down towards the soft plaid that’s now draped over his own shoulders—the fabric is warm and smells like Dean; so just as he begins to fasten the last two buttons, he purposely skips one—so the thing is now bunching up across his stomach. “There” he confirms, drawing Dean’s focus back to the task at hand, and of course—Dean notices the mistake instantly.

“Ah—jeez, Cas … you’re helpless, ya know that?” Dean mutters with a smile, reaching over eagerly to straighten out the buttons and get them all in the right order.

But Castiel just smiles too, taking the moment to take in the worried Winchester—his charge, his family … a man that he loves—and he nods. “You’re right. What would I do without you?”

2

When someone is drowning, you can try to save them, but not if they’re going to drag you down with them. I did the best I could for my family. For you.

Listen up folks...

I’m not gonna talk about what sparked this rant. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is what I’m about to say.

I’m freaking done with the hate.

This SPN Family is supposed to be encouraging, accepting, we’re supposed to at least try to get along. Apparently that’s too hard. Now I could rant for hours about how some people in the SPN Family are treating eachother, but that’s for another time. This rant is going to be about one thing, the hate that the wives of the two leaders of this SPN Family receive. For this post I’m going to focus on one of the wives in particular…Danneel Ackles.

Once again as the Ackles family was nice enough to share parts of their life with us, people decide to be douchebags. This time Jensen isn’t happy with his life because he isn’t smiling in the photo of him & JJ. Also apparently comparing his kids to the comedy & tragedy is just a terrible thing to do. Oh, did you also hear that the twins might not be his because he said “my” twins instead of “our” twins. This is all Danneel’s fault too because she makes Jensen hate his life.

She can’t do anything right in the eyes of some people and it’s pissing me off. What did she do to cause so much hate? Now is the part when I ramble on about all she’s done…

She told her husband to go to a convention for the fans a few days after giving birth to twins.

Jensen told the story about finding out about the twins…JJ gave him a letter about it when he arrived at the airport…meaning he couldn’t be at the doctor appoint. How many doctor appointments do you think he had to miss because of filming?

She uses her “celebrity” to bring awareness to different events and situations going on in the world. I didn’t know about the Yulin dog festival until she talked about it. She does different work for a variety of charities, freaking google it if you don’t believe it.

Her husband is in a different country for the majority of the year while she stays back home in Austin. Have you ever had your husband away for a long period of time? Cause I have. It sucks. I complained about it on social media ALL THE TIME, but she never does.

She was a working woman in Hollywood. IMDb that shit. She was a steady worker in Hollywood however she slowed down/stopped when they had JJ.

Think of all the times she’s been out with her husband, cause that’s what Jensen is, he’s not “omg Jensen Ackles TV star”, he’s Jensen, the pain in the butt who forgot to take out the trash or forgot to grab the milk when he ran to the stores. Think about how many times she’s probably been out with him & had to deal with people coming up to talk to him. Now think about how many times this has happened & people have ignored her existence or used her as nothing more then a photo taker. Fans don’t mean too, but that shit probably happens more often then you think. I would get so sick of that.

Did I forget to mention how Jensen freaking lights up whenever someone brings up Danneel? CAUSE I WITNESSED IT IN PERSON A FEW WEEKS AGO & HE LEGIT LOOKS LIKE A TEENAGER IN LOVE WHEN SOMEONE TALKS ABOUT HER!

But no.

Apparently we’re supposed to hate her just cause.

Now is when the “haters” start to go, “you just like her because of who she’s married to.”

No haters.

No.

I knew about Danneel before I knew about Jensen. I know Danneel from One Tree Hill but I started to admire her when she hosted Maxim’s Hot 100 in 2009. She was the really pretty model/actress that I looked up to because she was funny & pretty. It wasn’t until I started watching Supernatural in 2015 that I had the “holy cow they’re married to each other” moment.

So.

To sum up this rant; you don’t have to like Danneel, just don’t be a dick. If you admire Jensen as a human, don’t disrespect his wife or his family.

Basically if you wouldn’t go up to a person & say it to their face, don’t say it. Plus why bother wasting your time hating something when you could spend your time on something you love?

End rant.

Offense

-Scout

Look at the boy. Look at him! Cute face with the little buck teeth and small skinny arms that are good for hugs and pats and everything. He run fast! He talk fast! He smile good! He tries his best at everything and I want a self esteem as big as his. Look at that good boy! He’s a happy boy! So pure and full of wonder!!

-Soldier

A good man! Strong! Powerful! Caring! He loves racoons and teleports bread. Very patriotic but loves his friends because they’re a team. He loves his team! He loves his family! He loves America!! He can neck snap bears!! Strong man very caring and goofy but also powerful!!!!

-Pyro

He is a pure child! Doesn’t want to hurt anybody but it’s not his fault. He doesn’t know what he’s doing; just wanna help!! He makes warm fires! Always happy. Always a good boy in my heart. Look! He has!! A poof!!! He wants to stay warm and he is a good warm boy inside. Good child!!

Defense

-Demoman

LOOK. He happy!! He pure!! Albeit drunk a few times, he’s still a good guy at heart! Would give you a hug if you’re sad! Energetic and understanding plus wants you to have a good day all day everyday!!!! A good good man! Can turn his entire body into an alcohol converter and very smart. Made his own bombs!! Smart!!! Lookie!!! He will get his job back! He will be with his friends! He will be with his family and he loves his family!!! A good man!!

-Heavy

He has! A good heart! Loves family! Loves friend! What if someone hurt friend?? HE CRUSH LIKE LEETLE BABY because he loves them!! Strong and kind. Gives Sandvich to those that are hurt. Respects others! Smart!! A good man!!! Doesn’t understand petty game when you can just smash everything and win like that. Good!! He finds other ways to win a game instead of just one that is efficient!! A good and smart man!!!!

-Engineer

A good man! Very patient and soft. Hard worker! Very patient! Smart man and knows how to build things!! Soft!!! Reads stories to make Pyro happy. A good man at heart! Short and cute too!!! Lookie him!!! He has his goggles up!! He is reading a story nice and soft!! I want him to read me cute child stories before bed!!! Nice man!!!!!


Support

-Medic

He is!! A man!! Of science!! Smart and does experiments; very curious indeed. Baboon babies! He smile! He smart! He trick satan!! He frees friends from sin. He hold baby! He has family! He saves Sniper!!! A good man! A science man!! Looks evil but is really good inside!! Has feelings; pls don’t hurt them. He loves his birds!!

-Sniper

HE HAS!! GOOD BODY!! He got shot but lived because he’s the most dangerous man on the island!!! A true sniper; takes the shot. He saves friends! He saves family! Nice hair; nice scars!!! Can headshot good and has respect. A professional!!! 

-Spy

Always! Looking! Good! Can disguise. Can lie. Can seduce. He taught his son how to date!! A good man! Can hide quickly and loves children. Loves children!!! A good man at heart and good actor. Best actor!!

 SO LIKE BRACE YOURSELVES BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING LONG AND I WOULD APOLOGISE BUT MY OTP IS ONLY GETTING MARRIED ONCE SO FUCK IT RIGHT?

OK FIRST OF ALL HELLA TRANSITION AND SECOND OF ALL I LOVE WHAT HE’S WEARING AND THIRD OF ALL HE WORE THE FUCKING EARRING OF MY DEMISE I HATE HIM

AND HIS STUPID PERFECT EYES AND HIS STUPID PERFECT JAWLINE AND HIS STUPID PERFECT EVERYTHING

GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT WE GET TO SEE THIS RELATIONSHIP AND LOOK HOW FAR THEY’VE COME. STEP FATHER AND BEST MAN LIKE SO MANY FUCKING TEARS ALREADY

YOU KNOW HE’S SEEN HER. LOOK AT HIS DAMNED FACE. AND SHE’S FUCKING STUNNNINGGGG IN HER DRESS SO I DON’T BLAME HIM AT ALL FOR THIS REACTION LOL

AND THEN FUCKING LOOK AT THIS RIGHT? SNOW IS TAKING DEEP BREATHS, CHARMING IS JUST HAPPY AF AND EMMA FUCKING SWAN IS LOOKING AT KILLIAN JONES AND SHE CAN’T TAKE HER EYES OFF HIM

ANYMORE THAN HE CAN TAKE HIS EYES OFF HER

LOOK AT THIS LOVE DAMNIT I CANNOT BELIEVE WE’RE GETTING TO SEE THIS FUCK

LOOK AT THIS DUMB LITTLE FAMILY AND HOW FAR THEY’VE COME. I LOVE THAT THEY’RE BOTH WALKING HER DOWN THE AISLE AND BOTH HOLDING HER AS SHE GOES AND I’M JUST SO DAMN HAPPY

LOOK AT THIS. FUCKING WHAT IS THIS WITH THE SMILING AND THE KISSING THE CHEEKS

WHAT IS THIS WHO AUTHORISED THIS? TAKE IT AWAY IMMEDIATELY

AND THIS FUCKING HANDSHAKE?! REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS ALL YOU CAN’T EVER DATE MY DAUGHTER EVERRRRR EVER EVER EVER AND NOW FUCKING LOOK. THEY’RE BROS. SUCH BROS. THIS IS RIDICULOUS HOW MANY EMOTIONS I HAVE RN

OMFG LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS THAT HE’S GOT HER HAND IN HIS. THAT DAMN SMILE THAT WON’T QUIT

AND OK WHEN ARCHIE SAYS THAT THEY SHOULD RECITE THEIR VOWS KILLIAN LOOKS AT WHO I’M ASSUMING IS CHARMING OR HENRY, OR PERHAPS THE WHOLE FAMILY, JUST GIVING THEM A SMILE AND IT KILLS ME BECAUSE NOT ONLY DID EMMA SWAN FIND A FAMILY, KILLIAN JONES DID TOOOO

LOOK AT THEM DAMNIT, LOOK AT HOW FUCKING HAPPY ARE OMFGGG

AND THE VOWS, THE DAMNED FUCKING VOWS OMFG THE WAY HE FUCKING LOOKS AT HER

AND THE WAY SHE FUCKING LOOKS AT HIM

AND THE FUCKING AWE IN HIS FACE WHEN HE’S LIKE YOU TAUGHT ME THAT A HEART FULL OF LOVE WAS MORE PRECIOUS THAN ANY TREASURE LIKE HE NEVER THOUGHT IN HIS WILDEST DREAMS THAT THIS COULD EVER FUCKING HAPPEN FOR HIM

AND NOW THAT HE HAS IT, HE WILL NEVER FUCKING LET IT GO AND I AM DEAD AND GONE, A SPIRIT IS TYPING THIS RN

AND FUCK LOOK AT HIM TELLING HER HIS HEART IS HERS

LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE OMG I AM SO EMOTIONAL *THROWS THINGS* *THROWS ALLL THE FUCKING THINGS*

I AM GONNA THROW MY COUCH AT SOMEONE NOW BECAUSE DID YOU HEAR HOW SHE SAYS KILLIAN? ALL SOFT AND TENDER AND LIKE SHE LOVES HIM.

AND OMG HENRY FOUND HER AND THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HENRY TOO. THERE’S JUST SO MUCH LOVE IN THIS ROOM THAT I AM IN PAIN AND FUCKING LOOK AT THE SOFT WAY THAT KILLIAN LOOKS AT HENRY TOO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

AND HENRY GOD HENRYYY I AM SO PROUD OF HIM AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND HE JUST BELIEVED AND LOOK HOW FAR THEY’VE ALL COME FUCK ME

AND SHE FOUND THE REST OF HER FAMILY TOO BECAUSE OF HENRY

AND THEY’RE HERE ON HER FUCKING WEDDING DAY TO HER FUCKING TRUE LOVE OMFG I AM OVERWHELMED

AND SHE LOOKS AT HIM RIGHT AND SHE’S TELLING HIM THESE THINGS ABOUT TRUE LOVE AND FAMILIES

AND FUCK ME IF KILLIAN JONES ISN’T COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IN AWE OF THE WOMAN IN FRONT OF HIM. I AM OF THE OPINION THAT KILLIAN JONES THINKS THAT EMMA SWAN IS MAGIC AND HE IS BESOTTED WITH HER ANEW EVERY SECOND THAT HE LOOKS AT HER

AND THIS MOMENT AND EMMA’S VOWS AND OMFG JUST BECAUSE YOU LEARN THAT YOU COME FROM TRUE LOVE DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL FIND IT

AND YET HERE HE IS AND HERE SHE IS AND IT TOOK CENTURIES AND CURSES AND ADVENTURES THROUGH TIME AND REALMS AND FUCKING

NOW THEY STAND HERE AND SHE SMILES AT HIM THIS WAY 

AND HE SMILES BACK AND THEY HAVE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEM YOU KNOW? ALL YOU EVER REALLY WANT IS FOR SOMEONE TO KNOW YOU, TO SEE YOU, TO KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS AND YOUR WEAKNESSES, YOUR FAILURES, YOUR SUCCESSES AND TO LOVE YOU ANYWAY. 

AND THEY HAVE THAT AND THEY’RE PROMISING TO NEVER LEAVE

AND GODDDDAMN EVERYTHING HELLLLP BECAUSE HONESTLY WHAT THE FUCK MY EMOTIONS ARE SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WITH MYSELF I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH

AND OK SHE’S PUTTING THE DAMN RING ON AND HE CAN’T STOP STARING AT HER. LIKE HE JUST KEEPS LOOKING AT HER AND SHE IS FUCKING STUNNING, I DON’T BLAME HIM

HANDSSS HANDS ARE THE REASON FOR MY BEING A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR

HANDS AND THE WAY THEY’RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER

AND THE WAY HE SAYS I DO, HIS EYES UNWAVERING FROM HERS

AND THE WAY SHE DOES THE FUCKING SAME *SLAMS KEYBOARD* WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NONSENSE

LOOK AT THIS SMILE, IT WON’T FUCKING STOP LIKE OMFGGGGGG 

ARCHIE IS ME HERE. HE GETS ME. HE TOO IS MARVELLING AT THE PERFECTION THAT IS THE JOY OF CAPTAIN SWAN.

HUSBAND. AND. WIFE. THE. FUCK. WHAT. HOW. I. CANNOT. BELIEVE

THIS FUCKING PERFECTION I CANNOT DAMN BELIEVE DAMN FUCK

AND I THOUGHT I HAD DIED ENOUGH BUT NO, THERE WAS A FUCKING DIP, HIS HAND CLEAR FUCKING AROUND HER WAIST AND COMING BACK AROUND AND THEN FUCKING

YOU GOT YOUR HAPPY ENDING SWAN LIKE KILLIAN FUCKING JONES AND FUCKING EARRING

AND THEN OK, LEAVING ALONE THE DEVASTATING SMILES AND THE CONTENTMENT RADIATING OFF THEM

AND THE ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER AND THE FUCKING FUCKING EARRING

LEAVING ALONE ALL THIS, YOU HIT ME WITH A HAPPY BEGINNING?! THIS IS UNFAIR AND I AM IN TEARS AND I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH. I DON’T HAVE THE WORDS

*FALLS OVER*

someone gimme a hug pls

what i really like is how every single parental figure harry has had (besides his dead parents) has been shown to be incredibly flawed. this is something that you rarely see in any book, let alone a children’s series. 

you have hagrid who loves harry so so so much but also isnt the smartest of men and often gets too emotional to use the logic that he does have. he loves so passionately, that he refuses to see the bad in anyone (mainly because of the prejudice he has faced). this doesn’t bode well for harry because of the constant accidental slips of information and his undying loyalty to dumbledore and any other character he finds to be admirable. 

molly who loves harry as one of her own, but smothers him desperately. she is so protective of harry that at times she almost sees him as her property (“he’s not your son”, “he’s as good as!”). she coddles him immensely, and even though he has seen tragedy and death more times than she could ever imagine, she still treats him as if he is a wounded stray in need of her biscuits and warmth. 

dumbledore who acted as if he viewed harry as his equal, only to be raising him for slaughter. dumbledore who let harry live in an abusive home and go through these horrors, just to shape him into this perfect martyr. dumbledore who viewed harry as a chess piece, making sure that he stays alive long enough to vanquish the dark lord. 

sirius, who loved harry more than anything in the world. sirius who broke out of azkaban and stayed inside his old home that constantly reminded him of his past, the aspect of himself he never wanted to confront. sirius, who saw so much of james in harry. sirius who never got the revenge he craved, but now he has his best friend back…well, a version of his best friend. sirius who grew cold towards his godson whenever he didn’t act exactly like his father would have. 

remus, who saw and understood the nightmares that harry had to face. remus who didn’t see harry as his mother or father, but as a child who was forced to grow up far too fast to face things no human should ever have to face. remus, though he loved harry, could never truly be there for him. remus who was so riddled with his own self-hatred that he could never allow himself to get close to harry, the way he knew harry needed him to. 

arthur, who was a humble man who stood up for what was right. he too saw harry as one of his sons. arthur, who despite his social standing did his hardest to provide a good life for his family. arthur who too often worried that harry would end up dead, and that he would bring one of his other children down with him. arthur who loved harry, but secretly feared what having harry potter in his life would do to his own. 

letsmysticmeessenger  asked:

Jumin reacting to an MC who left him and he sees them 1-3yrs later with twins.

Broken Promises 

“Why are you doing this to me? What have I done for you to treat me like a piece of garbage Jumin” 

You ran upstairs after your fleeing boyfriend begging for him to answer you. He come home late again but you didn’t care. You were happy that the man that owns your heart came home to you every night. However, this night was different than the rest. 

You had dinner and wine prepared for him to come home to so he can relax after his long day at the office. You made sure that Elizabeth 3rd, or what you like to call her Lady Elizabeth, was fed first and that her fur was brushed. You gave food to the guards because guilt entered your blood stream every night because they get little to no sleep. 

You were folding laundry when you heard the door open. You dropped what you were doing and followed your heart. Laying your eyes on him, you jumped on him hoping for a passionate kiss. Sadly, you were met with him taking your arms off him. 

“We need to talk” he walked to the living room and sat at the edge of the sofa “I need you to sign the confidentiallity agreement stating that you will not reveal our past relationship to the public nor to other businessmen” he pushed the stack of papers that were highlighted for your initials and signatures. 

You grabbed the papers and you weren’t sure if it was heavy because it was a lot or because this is how much you relationship weighed to him. You got up and tried to find answers in his eyes but all you saw was winter. You stepped closer to him and he stepped back afraid that your rays of light will melt away the coldness he has formed around his heart. 

“Jumin, I need you to explain to me whats going on! Why are you treating me like I’m some kind of business partner. I am your fucking girlfriend Jumin.” 

“You mean was. Now stop being complicated and sign the papers so we can both go our separate ways. I’ll pack your belongings for you so you don’t need to worry and reminisce on the way to my room.” His long legs were going up the stairs and you cried out for him but he didn’t stop. You were running after him hoping to still hold on the love that the both of you once shared. 

“Why are you doing this to me? What have I done for you to treat me like a piece of garbage Jumin” you cried out not noticing you missed a step. You prepared to feel a different type of pain but you felt coldness on your skin. You looked up and notice he isn’t the man that you fell in love with. 

“How pathetic are you? Im telling you to leave and yet you are practically begging for me. Get it through the thick skull of yours (y/n). I mistaken my loneliness for love. I thought I loved you but I just liked the feeling of being wanted.” 

*5 years later* *Jumins POV* 

I took my wife’s hand while we made our way to her brothers dinner. His family lives in the United States so I haven’t had the opportunity to meet her dearest brother. I only know the basics of him that he owns a company and that he has a wife and two kids. 

We rang the doorbell to be greeted by the maid and butler of the house. They took our coats and led us in. Their home was impressive to be quite frank. The decorations does seem rather familiar. While I was examining the decor and familiar fragrance led me to look at the stair way. 

“Eisuke!!” my wife shrieked and ran up to him. I don’t blame her it must be hard not seeing your brother for over 10 years. He gave a cocky smirk and my wife led him to me. He was seizing me up and scoffed while giving me a handshake. I tighten my grip to wipe that smirk off his face and he tighten it as well. “Eisuke, where’s my sister in law and the babies!” 

He turned his head to the side and pouted “She’s not done yet sister. She just loves making me wait” he sighed. My wife laughed and touched his shoulder “You don’t like waiting Eisuke, you must really love her” 

“He does” I heard a voice from the top of the stairway. I thought my eyes were deceiving me. I blinked a couple of times and it really is her. The woman I pushed away for my own selfish reasons. I looked towards Eisuke, my dear brother in law, and notice a sincere smile plastered on his face. She made her way down the stairs and went towards Eisuke and not even batting a single eyelash my way. “Im sorry I’m late my love” she gave him a peck on his lips. 

He pouted again and she playfully slapped his shoulders. They both smiled and he brought her body closer to him “You know you are the only woman I would wait for” My heart gave me a sting and my wife noticed the sudden change in expression. She asked (y/n) to take me to the restroom and I followed her up the stairs. On the way to the restroom, I heard children laughing that was easily contagious. (Y/N) looked at me with her lovely eyes and motioned for me to follow her. 

I entered a room covered in mint walls with stuffed animals and books perfectly place. I looked at the center of the room to see two children, fraternal twins in fact, playing with each other. We were staring at her kids play with each other and my body unconsciously moved closer to her. She stepped to the side to create the distance I once put. I then notice hands snake around her waist pulling her closer to Eisuke. He kissed her cheek and my thoughts were interrupted with my wife linking our arms together. She gave me a kiss on my cheek but I couldn’t stop my mind thinking that (y/n) is living the life that I’m suppose to live with her. Eisuke and my wife walked in front of us out of the children’s room and (y/n) looked at me “Crazy how I thought I was going to be your wife and now” she giggled “Im practically your sister in law. Life works a funny way.” 

Her words stunned me. Yeah, life does work in a funny way. 

They told us Eurus, Redbeard, and Sherlock were all the same person in TAB

Do you remember the part where Sherlock drags his friends to Ricoletti’s grave and we think it’s real, but it’s actually mind palace?

The grave stone says “Emelia Ricoletti, Beloved Sister”

Sherlock jumps in and starts panting like a dog. He shovels dirt with his hands, digging like a hound with paws.

Sherlock is all three people.

“My husband is three people”

The Final Problem makes sense only in subtext. Whether you think it’s John’s MP or Sherlock’s MP, that’s still up for debate. I’m officially siding with Sherlock’s because there are flashbacks to the waterfall scene from TAB in TFP, which means both of those episodes must have been experienced by the same character, and I don’t think it was John for both.

Sherlock DID have a friend named Victor Trevor, but his death happened much later in Sherlock’s life. Because of that Sherlock took to hard drugs as a young adult, not as a child. There are two separate deaths he combined together to create TFP.

Redbeard was an imaginary friend. Sherlock didn’t have friends, we know this. He wanted to be a pirate – Mycroft remembers and misses that carefree child.

So what changed Sherlock’s mind? Why did the cold, logical, calculating machine take over and get rid of Sherlock’s imaginary friend?

Mycroft. He kept calling Sherlock “a stupid little boy”, saying “you always were so stupid”. Sherlock even says Mycroft thought he was an idiot. Sherlock stopped being “stupid” and tried to emulate his big brother – the only person in his life that would tolerate him. He tried solving the Carl Powers case and boom! Sherlock Holmes the little detective was born. This is why Mycroft brought up Redbeard at the wedding – “Hey, don’t get involved, remember when you had to resort to imaginary friends like a pathetic little child?” makes a lot more sense than “Hey, don’t get involved, remember your dead friend Victor who disappeared because our secret sister killed him?”.

Eurus represents the crushing logic that destroys everything Sherlock loves.

Because it’s happened before. Twice we’ve seen Sherlock’s mind explain how Victor died, we just didn’t know it.

Keep reading

I really wish Dragon Age fans would understand that “Moral Greyness” can be JUST as contrived and convoluted as regular “Black and White” and “Happy Ending.”

Just look at the Mage/Templar Conflict. The devs have tried their darnedest across three and a half games to present the conflict as 100% balanced with both sides equally sympathetic, and they’ve failed each time. The devs have said they felt they made the mages look “too sympathetic” in the first game. For the second game they realized too late that making the player character come from a family of apostates and have two mage companions but no Templars made Templars look bad; and they fully admitted that Leandra getting killed by a crazy blood mage serial killer was an attempt to vindicate a pro-Templar playthrough. DAI? Well, we all know about THAT… (Retconning the Dalish to have a “three mages max” rule just to make Circles look better by comparison?) All to make a flimsy, “See? Both sides are equally flawed” argument that’s as sturdy as cardboard; blow on it, and it falls over.

Just look at The Masked Empire verses Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts. In the book, the human nobles are all completely despicable, racist, genocidal asses, while Briala (and Felassan to a lesser extent) is the most sympathetic and likable character. Briala is a straight-up hero who struggles to help her people despite knowing they won’t thank her for it, and being shit on by everyone she meets right and left.

In DAI, the devs flat-out hid the many crimes and character flaws of Celene and Gaspard, and hid many of the virtues and character strengths of Briala. Why? To create a flimsy and false “All three choices are equally morally gray!” so-called “choice.”

Just look at the Qunari. You can tell the devs have been trying their damnedest from game one to depict Qunari culture as rather alien and incomprehensible to outsiders and vice-versa, but still a good system with its balances of virtues and flaws like any other. And it never works.

And any time players complain about an aspect of their culture, they try to fix it next game. Sten said “women don’t fight”? In DA2 they’re like, “JK! Since the Priesthood allows both genders, we just made up this secret spy division of the Ben’Hassrath that allows female assassins. Please love our Qunari.“ When that didn’t work, in DAI they went overtime trying to make Iron Bull THE most likable character they could, then had him lend his charisma to explain away Qunari societal faults. Plus the whole “transgender acceptance” and “free love” and “Tamassran are still like family” thing, and the sudden, “Oh, the Qunari don’t REALLY keep women from fighting. If a woman is discovered to be good in combat, they just decide he’s a man who happens to look like a woman and let “him” fight. Please love our Qunari!”

And it’s NEVER WORKED. I mean, some small minority of weirdos like Qunari despite their flaws (myself included), but MOST players just find these flimsy attempts at “MORAL GREYNESS!!!” to be just that: flimsy.

So whenever I talk about a plot hole or character failing in the series, I’m so sick to death of seeing that go-to, knee-jerk, catch-all “moral grayness” excuse.

Yes. Sometimes, when written well, a morally grey conflict can be very engaging. But sometimes some characters or divisions naturally come across as more sympathetic than another. I’m not saying “one side is innocent and perfect and other other guilty and evil,” but sometimes one side comes across as a lighter shade of grey than another; it happens. If the devs would just embrace that and run with it and tell emotionally engaging stories, instead of spending so much time and energy trying to constantly backpedal or force a square peg in a round hole just for the sake of that original vision that just isn’t coming through.

- You can’t make a conflict where one heavily tyrannical and abusive faction holds complete power over another as a perfectly 50/50 “morally grey conflict” where “both sides are equally at fault.”

- You can’t take the freedom-fighting victim of horrific systematic abuse by two perpetrators of that horrific system and try to act like she’s “just as bad” or “on the same footing” as those abusers.

You can’t take a culture that thrives on robbing individuality, stripping free will, brainwashing resisters, and severely limiting the roles of its citizens based on their gender, magical ability, etc. and expect our modern freedom- and individuality-loving society to find them anything but restrictive and tyrannical.

“Moral Grey” can be just as CONTRIVED as any attempt at “black and white” or “happily-ever-after.” Because they’re still trying to force something that doesn’t fit.

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.