i just love dogs and i love men with dogs

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.

Me: Hey, Ducky. Did you have a dream?



Ducky: How did you know that?

Me: You were muttering in your sleep.

Ducky: Ah.

Me: And your piddies were twitching.

Ducky: It was quite a dream.

Me: Were you dreaming that I was stepping on you?



Ducky: How did you know that?

Me: Magic.


Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

tagged by: the lovely @wild-lavenders

rules: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!

Name | Jessica
Nicknames | Jess
Zodiac sign | aquarius
Height | 5′1
Orientation | straight
Nationality | Canadien/lebanese
Favourite fruit | idk it depends but mangoes came to mind just now
Favourite season | autumn
Favourite book | the memory keeper’s daughter
Favourite flower | gardenia
Favourite scent | it depends, i love the smell of nature or of men’s cologne
Favourite color | changes but atm its red
Favourite animal | tigers idk
Coffee - tea - hot cocoa | prefer tea, hot chocolate when im really sad
Average sleep hours | it varies but usually 6-8 hours
Cat or dog person | dogs
Favourite fictional character | wow thats hard but i really love Adrian Ivashkov and Aaron Warner rn 
Number of blankets you sleep with | two, three in winter
Dream trip | tour around Europe or something

Blog created |  ouf a while ago but ive been off it for more than a year. I just came back last weekend so yeah
Number of followers | 148 

random fact: im interested in going to med school in a few years, probably not that interesting but oh well 

I tag: @hermionesmenacinglook @misspansy @potters-wheezy @buttahbeer and anyone else that wants to do this

I’ve been seeing a lot of preacher fans saying lately that they’re quiting the show because of the dog killing scene or they hate Tulip because of that scene. To them let me say this: of all the horrible scenes that have happened in Preacher so far a dog being eaten is were you draw the line? A child is eaten by birds, scalped people are hanging from trees, a man holds up his daughter’s guts, a boy watches his father get shot in the head, and a guy gets his penis shot off but a dog being killed is were you draw the line? That just screams a “I care more about animal life than human life” mindset.

And I love how they hate Tulip for feeding Cassidy the dog (which was clearly hard for her to do) but yet say nothing about hating Cassidy for eating the dog himself. It really gets on my nerves when women in a series can’t sneeze without getting hated for it, meanwhile the men characters do worse and they are still loved and supported.

Y'all watch shows like Game of Thrones were women get raped yet a dog being killed is too much to handle. I’ll say the same thing you tell us when we discuss violence against women on TV: It’s fiction get over it.

Me: It makes you smell better.


Me: And you’ll be less itchy.


Me: And actually the wet look is a bit slimming…

Ducky: Then you should hop all the way in, tubby.


Ducky: I don’t care for baths and it causes me to lash out.

Me: I am aware.

Ducky: Just rinse me, old man.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: Duuuuuuucky…


Me: Duuuuuuuuuuucky…


Me: Comfy Duck?


Me: Sleepy Duck?


Me: So sleepy you can’t even hear me?




Me: Ducky? I think it’s dinner time.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: I think it’s dinner time.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ducky: What’s going on?

Me: It’s Halloween, Ducky!

Ducky: Okay then.

Me: There are gravestones! Spoopy!

Ducky: Where?

Me: In the camera.

Ducky: Okay. 


Ducky: I just realized I have more questions.

Me: What are gravestones? Why would they be floating in mid air? How are they exactly “in the camera?”

Ducky: Those are good questions.

Me: Not your questions?

Ducky: Nope.

Me: Your questions?

Ducky: Is it dinner time?

Me: Not yet. Your other questions?

Ducky: They’re going to sound a lot like the other one.

Me: “Is it dinner time yet?”

Ducky: I say, “Yes!”

Me: No. I mean was that your question?

Ducky: Was what my question?

Me: “Is it dinner time yet?”

Ducky: I say, “Yes!”


Ducky: First base!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Happy Halloween, Spoopy Buddies! See you next week!

Ag & Ducky

Me: Hey, Ducky. There’s a lot of fuzzy stuffing all over the living room.

Ducky: Shhhh…sleeping.

Me: No, you aren’t. Your eyes are open.

Ducky: No they aren’t. You’re dreaming. 


Ducky: Or I am. Whichever. Shhhhhh. 

Me: So I think it’s time for kitty to go away.



Ducky: If you think you can take her then you’re definitely the one dreaming.

Me: Really? Because if I try to take her you’ll do what?

Ducky: You don’t want to know.


Ducky: Technically you can’t know.

Me: Because?


Me: Because you don’t know?

Ducky: Just sounded good.

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: Thought it might bide me some time until you woke up.

Me: I’m not asleep.

Ducky: So we have agreed that I am the one asleep!

Me: No we…

Ducky: Shhhhh. Sleeping.


Ducky: Sleeping comfortably with a perfectly semi-unstuffed kitty right under my neck that only a very mean Daddy would attempt to remove.


Ducky: I mean, “Zzzzzzzzz.”

Me: You do look comfy. You can keep the kitty until you get up. But then we have to throw her out.

Ducky: Agreed.

Me: Really?

Ducky: Sure.



Me: Because you’re asleep?

Ducky: And agreements made whilst one party is slumbering are non-binding.


Ducky: You’ll be laughed out of court. Trying to form a contract with a sleeping dog. You know what they say…

Me: Let sleeping dogs lie?



Ducky: You calling me a liar?

Me: No. It’s the other lie. Like lie down.

Ducky: Ah. Never heard that one.

Me: Really? And yet contract law…

Ducky: “They say” that dogs cannot enter into legally binding contracts when in an unconscious or semi conscious state  as they cannot give willful consent.



Me: Who is the “they” in this situation?

Ducky: Dog lawyers mainly.


Ducky: Dog judges.


Ducky: Canine legal correspondents for major newspapers.


Ducky: Para-beagles.

Me: That’s enough.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ag & Ducky

Ducky: Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky.

Ducky: That was a long walk.

Me: You like walkies!



Ducky: That was an abnormally long walk at an unusual time of day.


Ducky: And what does “Just another stupid Rattata” mean?

Me: Funny you should ask. Dont…move…

Ducky: After a walk that long, not an issue.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

genderqueerlarrie  asked:

Hey love. Can you explain your url to me? 🙈😂 I see in Mags' new fic that joke that Liam doesn't want his dog instagrammed so I was wondering what that was about? 😂

Thanks for your question (and sorry for the delays in replying - I was sick for a long time and I’m only just getting back to questions).  I hope you don’t mind that I replied publicly (and I adore your icon RBB is the best).

In the hazy sumer (or winter in my case) days of June 2015 (a now long forgotten era I didn’t wake up every morning with a soon to be dashed hope that they’d denied the baby overnight),  One Direction did an interview with sugarscape while promoting their new fragrance. They were asked about the most romantic things they’d ever done.  All their answers were pretty ridiculous - Harry fell back on the candles on a bridge that he’d done when he was 15. Louis clearly no longer felt like he could use the chicken wrapped in parma ham since he and Eleanor had ‘broken up’ and instead talked about something he’d done with Eleanor for his sisters.  Niall didn’t answer the question - since at that point Niall didn’t like girls Niall liked food and sports.  But Liam’s answer was my favourite thing in the history of One Direction:

WELL, I’ve got some dogs that I don’t Instagram or anything – I’ve got a big Great Dane and another little one, they’re called Watson and Ralph. So the Christmas before last I bought Soph a car because she’d just passed her test, and last year I was like ‘Jesus Christ, what do I do this Christmas that out-does a car?’ She wanted a dog, so I put a picture of Ralph in a card saying 'Will you be my Mummy’, and when she opened it she was like, 'ahhh do I get the dog’?  and I was like 'yeah it’s coming in a bit’. Then I pretended to go to the kitchen and get a drink, and I came in with the puppy and it was it the best thing ever.

I have laughed till I cried more than once over this interview. Everything about 1D collapses if you mention the things that aren’t instagramed - surely Lima knows that?

I’m interested in the instagramed version of 1D - the images they portray and how they’re built, but among the many layers of images there are a whole bunch of people trying to live their lives. Dogs are so demanding - they want to eat and go for walks whether or not you instagram them.  I guess I liked that contrast.

Many people have told stories about Harry and Louis relationship and who they are as people - and they’re very much part of that - they try and tell their stories.  But within and among everything else they’re two very young men who have super basic desires to cuddle and fuck and to love and be in love.


But then Liam broke up with a Sophia.  And started instagramming one of the dogs that weren’t instagrammed (Sophia instagrams the other).

After careful consideration I decided to keep my URL - even though the dogs are instagrammed.  It’s nice to be reminded that the categories of what is shown and what is hidden are only temporary (although I have considered changing my URL to boyfriendsLouisTomlinsondoesntinstagram - just in case I have some kind of instagramming powers).

I was ringing up this woman the other day and we were talking about her dog and how she was new to the area and then she was like “I just got an apartment because my husband left me for a younger woman” and I was like ???? cause damn she looked like 28 at the oldest

and so I was like “Wow your husband is a fucking scumbag. But I’m sure you can meet someone new and a lot better. You’ve got plenty of time!”

And she’s like “Eh it’s hard to find men, I mean I just turned 63″ and I was like


because she literally barely looked thirty and I was like omg what kind of scumbag husband would give up such a pretty lady and she was so nice and she was so excited and loving while talking about her dog and anyone who loves their dogs a lot cant be a mean person and long story short shoutout to the very pretty older lady I rang up the other day I hope you find ur dream man 

oh, jupiter ascending. what a movie. what a goddamn delight. how do i even begin to describe this cinematic masterpiece

  • jupiter did not ascend
  • i did
  • i ascended
  • channing potato plays a tortured albino dog-man runt
  • with bad spock ears
  • and space rollerblades
  • jupiter jones spends 80% of the movie falling off of tall, exploding, or tall and exploding buildings and then being rescued by said angsty tatum dog man and his rollerblades
  • sean BEE
  • no you heard me right sean bean is literally a bee man named stinger
  • who is, by the way, a grumpy ex-space cop
  • guess who else is an ex space cop? THAT’S RIGHT potato tatum 
  • why, if he’s part dog wolf, did potato dog once have wings? i get sean bee, but dog man?? space cop academy must’ve been something else
  • visible spittle with every mommy’s boy shriek 
  • oh yeah space capitalism is really bad
  • bees don’t lie. you’re royalty because you’ve never been stung by a bee. BEES DONT LIE
  • very kinky between wolf channing and jupiter. awkward and kinky. actually quite glorious i was mesmerized by the shit they said
  • jupiter jones. wants to be called your majesty. and bitten.
  • potato channing dog tatum is clearly down for biting as well
  • “i love dogs. i’ve always loved dogs”
  • [SPOILER REDACTED] perfectly timed wedding intervention, yeah just like everyone’s favorite rom com trope. similar situation happens AGAIN 
  • the whole thing was so gosh darn pretty
  • panorama shots of glitter and dust and storms and planets and explosions and whooshy blue rollerblades and nebulas wowmygod
  • i have never seen more convincing winged lizard men in my life
  • unlike channing potato’s beard, which was not convincing
  • it appeared to be glued on
  • then frost-tipped
  • A+ for effort though, loved the eyeliner
  • i truly and fully and completely enjoyed this movie
  • it was an experience of a lifetime
  • if star wars is the perfect teenage boy sci fi fantasy, then jupiter ascending is the perfect teenage girl sci fi fantasy 
  • it is the ultimate wish fulfillment space fantasy and its not even trying to hide it
  • a m a z i n g
  • i’m not even sure if i only like it ironically anymore, i truly enjoyed myself that much. i fucking ascended. amazing
  • thank u. bless u, academy award winning eddie redmayne, i hope to one day meet you by chance and tell you how much i loved this movie

Ducky: Daddy, I don’t like baths.

Me: I know, Ducky.

Ducky: I don’t like the noise.

Me: I know. The faucet makes a scary noise. I’m sorry.

Ducky: I know you know. But you still give me baths.

Me: Yeah.



Ducky: You don’t like giving me baths.

Me: Not really, no.

Ducky: Is it the noise?

Me: It’s more the “Chasing Ducky to get him when he realizes it’s bath time.” And the “Lifting Ducky after he has gone into dead weight mode when I try to lift him into the tub.” And the “Trying to turn Ducky when he won’t let me rinse his other side and get this over with because the faucet makes a scary noise.”



Ducky: I do not like baths.

Me: No you don’t.

Ducky And you don’t like giving them to me.

Me: Nope.

Ducky: But you keep doing it because I need them.

Me: Yup. Your skin gets all flaky if we don’t do this.

Ducky: I don’t like the flaky skin.

Me: No. That must feel pretty bad.

Ducky: Yeah.


Ducky: Why don’t you have someone else do it?

Me: Have someone else bathe you? I don’t know. You’re my Ducky dog. So you’re my responsibility. And if someone else did it you’d still be unhappy.

Ducky: And I wouldn’t be able to press up against you when the scary noise came.

Me: Right. So I think I’m the right one to take care of this. I’m sorry you ever have to experience anything that makes you unhappy, Ducky. But if you do, I want to be there with you when it happens.



Ducky: That sounds like the kind of thing I’d usually say to you.

Me: Maybe I’m finally learning.

Ducky: Thanks for taking care of me, Daddy. Even when I’m difficult.

Me: Thanks for being you, Ducky. Now press up against me nice and hard. it’s rinsing time.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

mrmoosetash  asked:

I don't know how, but just the mention of your name will get the attention of my husky. He was outside in the pouring rain, refusing to come in. My friend jokingly called out to my husky and said "Wanna watch PB and Jeff?!" and he came RUNNING into the house, to my room, jumped on the bed, and WHINED until I turned on PB and Jeff. My friend can't stop laughing, And I'm sitting here questioning everything that lead up to my dog loving you more. At least I can say he has a good taste in men.

I love this dog.

aroace sai: he just wants to paint pictures of his friends

aroace tenten: she just likes weapons. cool sword man cool sword let me show you some sick tricks

aroace neji: he’s just angry

aroace naruto: he just wants ramen

aroace kiba: he just wants dogs. hey man can i pet your dog

aroace sasuke: he just wants to crush konoha

aroace temari: she just wants to crush men

aroace kankuro: he just wants to build puppets

aroace shikamaru: he only wants a nap

aroace choji: he just friend loves everyone he loves everyone why cant we all just be friends

aroace gaara: he just wants to be like naruto and protect his people

aroace ino: who the fuck even has the time for that all i want to do is kick ass and gossip

aroace sakura: been there done that still don’t like it

aroace rock lee: he just wants to lift

aroace shino: i just want to collect bugs

aroace hinata: too busy running my clan

Ducky: Hey, Daddy…

Me: Yes, Duck?

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog!

Me: Ah…

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog!

Me: Yes, you know I like…

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog. Protect the perro he’s a fleecy dog!



Me: “Perro” means dog in Spanish. So that’s pretty goo…


Me: So you know “perro…”


Me: But you don’t…




Me: That last part was half right.

Ducky: And the rest? ALL CUTE!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy. Merry Christmas.

Me: I love you, Ducky. Merry Christmas.

Fleas Naughty Dog to one and all!

Ag & Ducky

Me: Well, Duck, plenty of people were glad to hear that you’re okay.

Ducky: Uh huh. That’s very nice. But you know what?

Me: You don’t feel so good?

Ducky: I don’t feel so good.

Me: Jinxed it.

Ducky: Does that mean you started spinning the house?

Me: Not literally, but in practice, kinda’.

Ducky: What happened?

Me: The vet called it “idiopathic vestibulitis!”

Ducky: Good for the vet.

Me: Nobody knows what causes it.

Ducky: I know what “idiopathic” means.


Ducky: But vestibulitis? 

Me: I jinxed it and now the house spins.

Ducky: It’s getting better now.

Me: Yeah. The vet said it should get better in about a week.

Ducky: Why did I get it?

Me: It’s fairly common in older dogs.

Ducky: Uh huh. And why did I get it?



Me: Anyway, I’m glad we took you to get checked out but it looks like this isn’t a big deal. Looking like you’ll be back to normal by Thanksgiving.

Ducky: Thanksgiving?

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: Mashy tatoes?

Me: Well, the lady and I are going to her parents’ house for Thanksgiving this year. So we’re not making mashed potatoes here on Thursday.




Me: You’re bluffing.

Ducky: It’s idiopathic. Could be caused by disappointment.

Me: I’ll figure something out. I promise. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.






Ducky: So what are you…

Me: Apple Jacks. It’s a bowl of Apple Jacks.

Ducky: Ah! 


Ducky: Thought they were Fruity Loops.

Me: They’re similar. Both cereals. Both age inappropriate for me.

Ducky: Both smell good.


Ducky: You give me Fruity Loops sometimes.

Me: Sometimes.


Me: Would you li…

Ducky: Yes, please.

Me: You know the rule.

Ducky: Crunch ‘em one at a time. Don’t just gulp 'em down whole.

Me: Because?

Ducky: It’s cute when I crunch 'em.

Me: Yup.

Ducky: And it makes you happy.

Me: Yup.

Ducky: I like making you happy.

Me: And I like making you happy, Ducky.

Ducky: Then let us proceed with the Happy Jack distribution!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.


Me: Hey, Ducky. Someone thinks I should celebrate my run by giving you mashed potatoes. Isn’t that cute?

Ducky: The logic behind that is sound.

Me: I didn’t provide any logic and in fact it doesn’t make a lot of sen…

Ducky: MASHY TATOES!!!!!

Ducky: Mmmmm. Logic.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Thanks to @pulchraetlibris!