make it home 2
I stood at the door and put my jacket on, then strapped my gun to my side. “Yoongi wait,” she called after me.
I turned my attention towards her, trying to keep calm. If I said another word, I know I would’ve broken down right then and there. I can’t do that. I need to be a man and fight this ongoing war, I can’t just cry whenever I’m upset or nervous. Boy, was I nervous.
“I love you,” she said with a smile, “please come home to me.” She’s going to collapse in destruction any second, I can tell. This life of mine, it’s hurting her so bad. No matter what I do, though, she supports me. No matter what I choose to do in my life, she is right behind me, cheering me on. She’s smiling, but I know she’s breaking.
Responding to her wasn’t even an option, it was legitimately impossible. I can’t lie to her. If I told her I would make it home to her, I’d be bluffing and that would be obvious to both of us. All I could do was smile. In those three seconds that may be my last, I took in all of her. I looked at her, and I mean really looked at her. I may never get to see her ever again because of this.
There was word spreading around the streets about me. About me finally doing something with my life. The gang that killed my brother, they threatened to come to my home. My home, the only true safe place for my girl. They were never caught, mainly because they kept their profile very hidden. They never really associated with people outside of the gang. I’ve never encountered them, but I know how to identify them. They tie black bandanas around their right wrist and wear black face masks.
They threatened to hurt her, and the things they said they’d do to her made me sick. I couldn’t tell her about that, I didn’t want to scare her. Especially if I don’t come home to her, then she’d be extremely scared and mortified. I mean if I don’t make it, no one will be there to protect her. But if she knew what exactly was going on and the things they were saying, she would live in a world of complete fear and no safety. She didn’t need to know.
Keeping composed was a success, I made my way out without breaking down. Once I got outside, I took a deep breath and stood there for a moment. “I love you, mom,” I said, almost a whisper, “but I have to go. I’m sorry.”
I walked down the street, eyes peeled, completely aware of my surroundings. I had to keep an eye out for them, otherwise they’d shoot me without giving me a chance to fight back. Suddenly, a group of roughly six guys walked around from the side of a building. They didn’t look too suspicious, until I noticed something. Every single one of them had a black bandana tied around their right wrist. Their face masks were pulled down around their neck, so it took me a while to realize who I was dealing with.
There were no weapons in sight, but I knew each of them were strapped with at least one gun. I stopped in my tracks, as did they. The lead guy, he had three teardrops tattooed under his eye. To others, he’d be intimidated, but to me, he just angered me. When I looked at him, I saw my brother. My innocent brother whose life was taken way too soon.
I grew infuriated as we both stood there and just stared at each other. It felt like hours, but we were only standing there for 5 seconds.
“Hey Yoongi, remember me?” the leader asked rhetorically then chuckled, “I know you know of me, you just don’t know my name. Joon.” He spoke so calmly, as if he thought we were long lost friends. My hands were balled into fists, and he could clearly see. He chuckled again, “someone seems to be mad. What, is my presence making you mad?” He took a step closer to me. I swear, one more step and I pull out my gun.
“What’s your problem?” I spoke up. “Is there something wrong with me becoming successful?”
His taunting smile was replaced with a serious look. He looked me dead in the eyes, “Successful? There’s no such thing as successful when you’re from the streets. You won’t make it anywhere in life. The only reason your girlfriend sticks around is because she pities you. You’re not a true thug, you don’t belong here. You don’t belong anywhere,” his serious tone faded, and his annoying grin was back, “man, you’re just like your brother.”
I reached down for my gun, and before I could even reach it, Joon cut off my actions with his words, “you don’t want to do that, Yoongi.” And with that, I heard 7 guns clock, and in a matter of seconds they were all aimed at me. All of them had their guns out except for Joon.
How can I take on 6 guys? I can’t. I’m not physically capable of fighting them all off. My one gun can’t take them all, so what am I even doing reaching for my gun? Maybe he’s right, I can’t be successful. This background doesn’t appeal to anyone, so what made me think I actually had a chance? I’m not good enough for y/n, she doesn’t deserve to suffer like this every single day.
I let go of my gun and put my hands up. I surrender. “You want to kill me? Go for it,” I said calmly, “you probably want in on this Joon, so you should get your gun out.” He didn’t move, “so that’s how you want to play? Innocent, is that it?” he walked towards me, merely an inch away from my ear, “alright, if that’s what you want.”
He pressed his gun into my stomach and whispered, “3, 2,” bang.
I fell to the ground. My head started spinning, everything was changing colors. I looked up at what I could make out to be Joon, standing overtop of me. “Gave up so easily, Yoongi, I’m disappointed,” he sucked his teeth and sighed deeply, “I’m sure your girlfriend is too. You left her alone, as bait for us. Are you happy?” He stepped over my body that was drenched in blood, and disappeared along with his gang.
One shot was all it took. Why did I give up? Why did I not consider the fact that they’re still walking the streets, while my girlfriend is home alone, unprotected? I showed her where I keep my guns just incase something happens, but that’s not enough. I tried taking deep breaths, but I kept choking on blood. “y/n,” I called out, barely audible, “I’m so sorry.” I heard ambulances in the distance, and I knew I had to hold up until they got there.
I was fading away. I reached up to the paramedics arm to get his attention. I pointed to the officer that was first on the scene, hinting that I wanted him to come over to me.
“Son, what is it?” he asked calmly.
My last word was the name of both mine and my brothers killer, but my last thought was my lover. God, y/n, I’m so sorry.