IM WRITING SOMETHING
So yea. I planned on making a fic a while back, which I’m starting to work on again, but I don need advice on the first chapter I wrote a month back. Thank you all in advance for feedback!
It was just a normal evening for you, chilling out on your bed with your laptop in your lap scrolling through YouTube. You were watching a bunch of Markiplier and JackSepticEye. Okay, mostly Mark, but whatever. You scrolled up to his most recently posted videos and found a new Drunk Five Nights At Fuckboys Episode. You loved that series so much it hurt, every episode you watched sent you into a pile of laughter that made you fall off of your bed and onto your butt most of the time. Plus, Mark tends to be extremely goofy when he’s drunk, what’s there not to like? You clicked on it and got through the whole video trying not to fall off of your bed, which was good. Up right until right before the end.
Your laptop automatically shut down first, then all the lights in your apartment went down.
“What the-” You looked around the darkness of your room, setting down your laptop next to you. Your first instinct was to get up and look out the window to make sure this wasn’t a huge city blackout. You got up and peeked through the curtains, seeing that the city was still bright and alive as ever. You then opened your window to look at the neighbors windows. Their lights were on too.
“Okay, what the hell?” You thought out loud. You went back and tried to find your phone that was somewhere on your bed. After fumbling for about a minute, you gave up and face planted into one of your pillows and groaned out of frustration.
It did stay dark for a few minutes, which started to make you worry. And, right as you were about to go out and ask the landlord about what happened, all the lights came back on.
“Hmm?” You looked around, blinking your eyes from the sudden brightness. Your gaze went right to your computer, which was booted up as well, paused right before the DFNAF episode was about to end. Okay, that was weird. You walked over and sat down, placing back your laptop in it’s original spot on your lap. You refreshed the page and went to your sub box. Another video from Mark came up, but he looked, different.
The video had no name and the thumbnail was composed of Mark staring into the camera, grinning like a madman. Everything around and behind him was engulfed in black. Of course, you got curious and clicked on the video.
It started with Mark facing down, his hair messed up and top of his head facing towards the camera. It had no sound and the video quality was all static. Mark, wha…
The first thirty seconds passed and Mark finally started to move, slowly lifting up his face to look into the camera. His face was disheveled and hair worse than you thought. His glasses were tilted to one side of his face. As his full face came into view, unease filled you. He just stared for a few seconds before letting an unnatural smile creep onto his face. His eyes looked negative, what were supposed to be his whites were completely black and his irises were a bright white. He was so pale and looked almost grey.
His low, static like chuckling broke the silence and filled your ears. Five seconds went by and the video ended.
“… What. The. Actual. Frick?” You said silently at the black screen. You felt very uneasy and scared, and tried to go on any other social media to try to help you feel better, but nothing worked. Ten minutes on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr hasn’t helped and the unease wouldn’t go away. You decided to take another look at the video, but when you checked, it was gone. Puzzled, you went to see if there was any evidence of it on anything else. Absolutely nothing came up.
“Okay, um, what? A-Am I dreaming or something?” You asked yourself.
“Well but of course not.”A deep, low voice rang out through your room.
“Ah!” You practically fell off of your bed, eyes searching frantically for the source of the voice. “Wait, What?! Who’s there?!”
“I think you know the answers to your own questions, my dear.” There it was again. It was nowhere to be seen, but it sounded like it was everywhere. You stood up and searched around your room. The lights were starting to flicker, your laptop was already dead, and you were beginning to panic.
“M-My dear?! Please, just, tell me who!” Getting more and more terrified but the second, you kept asking.
“Oh, but I really do think you know.” That voice, why is it so familiar?
“Who the hell are you?! Please!” Your eyes were starting to sting and your knees barely holding you up.
The voice chuckled “Easily frightened, eh? Cute one, aren’t you?”
“Stop! Please, just stop! Um, at least just t-tell me where you are, please!” The lights stopped flickering, retaining a low light making the room barely visible. You turned around to face your desk, looking up to where the ceiling met the wall.
“Well, if you turn around and see, you’ll find what you want, won’t you?”The voice rang low in your ear and you spun around. Nothing was there. You squeezed your eyes shut, tears threatening to spill.
“Just come out, you bastard!” You hung your head and cupped your face, your breathing loud and rapid.
“Then look…” You felt compelled to see and looked up to a shadow forming mere feet in front of you. Just even looking, you were filled with horror and dread.
The shadow was taking shape in what looked like a man. The harder you looked, you could see dark wash jeans start to form, followed but what looked like a black t-shirt and long arms. Once his shoulders and head came into view, it looked even more impossible than the whole situation in itself. He stared right at you. That video…
“M-Mark?” Your voice wavered as he stared into your eyes. Even more horror washed over you as you remembered the video that should’t exist.
“Hmm, not quite.” He started walking towards you, stopping less than a foot away from you. You tried to lean back into the desk in an effort to get away from this entity that looked exactly like Mark, yet nothing like him all at the same time. He cupped your cheek and his expression softened.
“Mmph…” You whimpered and sunk back down. His hand was ice cold against your skin. You looked down as his eyes searched your face.
“Such a pretty one, aren’t you?” He purred. You blinked a few times, letting a tear fall and looked up into the things’ eyes. He looked right at you and smiled.
All of a sudden, his hands were torn away and they were clutching his own head, screaming at the ground. “NO! Your NOT getting to me!” His voice was even more like Marks’ now. He curled up into a ball and clutched his head, screaming at himself as you watched, worried for whats happening in front of you. He looked up to you again, eyes normal and color back in his cheeks.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry! Are you hurt?” He stood up and placed his hands on your shoulders, beads of sweat slowly trickling down his forehead. You just stared.
“M-Mark? Is it actually you?” You looked into his eyes. He looked lost and worried. You were very surprised that Mark had the ability to jump into your room, let alone care if your hurt.
“Yes, it’s me. Now, you’ve got to get me out of here before that happens again. Please, I don’t want to hurt anyone, let alone hurt you.” He asked, almost demanding that you get him out of there.
“B-but what if you get hurt? I can’t let that happen!” You told him. You can’t let him get away now, especially now that something bad has happened to him.
“Please! It’s coming back! I can’t hold it for long! You need to get me out of here!” He fumbled backwards a bit. He started looking desperate and terror filled his eyes.
“No! I’m not letting you get hurt out there!” Another tear streamed down your cheek. You cared for him so much, and you wanted to make sure he was as safe as he could possibly get, if he could be safe in a situation like this.
“Ahgg, no! Y-you have to!” He started clutching his head again, skin flickering between his normal skin color and the pale, greyish skin that the entity wore. He kept screaming and curled up into a ball. Horrified, you ran to his side.
“Mark! Mark! Ohmygod, what’s happening?!” Your hands were all over the place, not knowing what to do.
He went silent.
“M-Mark? Are you okay?” He was breathing hard and removed his hands from his head.
Then he started chuckling.
He looked up at you, negative eyes in all, and grabbed your shoulders.
“Don’t be afraid, dear. This might hurt” The grin he wore was unnatural. You started feeling sharp pains from your shoulders where he was holding you and you cried out in pain.
And then you two were gone.