i just look in the mirror and feel it

6

“It is hard to articulate the way that feels. You know, I’m putting on tights and it feels like I’m putting on something like I used to when I took dance class. But then, you get the cape and I turn around and look in the mirror and I see the “S” and something clicks inside. And there’s… it just really does transform… internally. It’s hard… it’s impossible not to feel empowered and to feel hope and strength and brave when I’m wearing it. I feel like a different person.” – Melissa Benoist on how was it when she first put on the Supergirl costume.

i might not be beautiful physically but that does not mean i cannot be beautiful in other ways. i can be beautiful with my kindness. i can be beautiful with my intellect. i can be beautiful with my empathy, with my compassion, with my humour, with the way i love. and maybe one day that will be enough for me to look in the mirror and feel content with the person i see because i’ll know she has more to offer than just a pretty face. 

anonymous asked:

This isn't really Director Sanvers related, but... Danvers sisters bodyswapping fic. Just think of the hilarity!

I agree ;)


She still got giddy sometimes. Waking up to Maggie, sometimes clothed, most times not, was often the highlight of her day. Her mind slowly rising from the fog of sleep, with the warmth of her favorite detective koala wrapped around her, sharing a pillow that smelled of citrus and cherry shampoos, that was the best way to begin her day. Alex paused to remember the delicious feeling of being awoken yesterday by Maggie’s lips and conceded that koala!Maggie was, maybe, the second best way to wake up.

It was like a dream, the happiness she felt knowing that there was someone out there for her, that she wasn’t broken, that she was just looking in all the wrong places and all the wrong faces (literally). Alex pulled herself closer, burying her face into hair that smelled of…

Lemongrass?

That was weird.

Alex opened one eye to find her face buried in hair that held none of the caramel streaks she was accustomed to, with an entirely different scent. She pulled back a bit, squinting in the dim light of early morning.

Going to bed with Maggie and waking up with her? That was a dream.

Going to bed with Maggie and waking up with Lena Luthor? That was a nightmare.

Alex screamed and threw herself backwards off the bed, dragging the sheets with her. She was nothing more than a tangled mess on the floor when Luthor leaned over the bed, brushing the sleep from her decidedly not Maggie-brown eyes. She looked around in confusion, not seeing anything wrong.

“Kara, darling? Did you have another nightmare?”

What the hell?

“What the hell?” Alex repeated out loud.

“Kara?”’

Alex scrambled to her feet, shucking free of the sheets and almost falling over again. “How the hell did I get here?”

Luthor frowned. “Through the balcony, darling. Did you hit your head during the fight last night? You came in so late you didn’t even change… can you hit your head and hurt it?”

Alex looked down. The crest of the House of El adorned her chest. The only things missing from the suit were the cape and the boots. “What the hell?

Lena shifts to sit up, brow still furrowed. She studied Alex, eyes dragging along each limb, cataloging each frantic movement as Alex tried to figure out what the hell was going on. She sprang for the bedside table, and before Alex stopped her internal freakout, Lena had a gun in her hands and shot off.

Thankfully, it bounced off.

“Luthor, what the hell?

“Who are you and how did you get in my girlfriend’s body?”

Girlfriend?!

“What did you do to Kara?”

“You sleep with a gun and my sister?

“You try getting almost assassinated every– wait, did you say sister?”

Alex turned to look in the mirror. Just what I was afraid of. Blond hair, blue eyes, and all of Alex’s worst nightmares staring back at her. “How the fuck did we switch consciousness while asleep?”

“A… Agent Danvers?

Alex turned to face the other woman, feeling an unfamiliar heat behind her eyes–her sister’s eyes.

Wait, fuck, can’t fry Kara’s girlfriend just because Kara never told me they were dating.

“How long have you and Kara been-” Alex waved her hand between them, “-a thing?”

“It’s recent. She was trying to figure out a way to tell you.”

“That she’s a lesbian?”

“Bi, I think, is what she’s settled on, yes. But also that she’s exploring that… with me.”

Alex frowned. “Which part did she think I’d be upset about?”

Lena fiddled with the gun in her hands, still wrapped in the one sheet Alex didn’t run off with. Thankfully, she had put the safety back on. “Both, I think.”

Alex tilted her, Kara’s, head back and laughed. She laughed, and laughed, and laughed so hard she basically collapsed in a heap on the floor. Lena looked rather concerned by the time Alex could talk again. “Okay, but, the first one I thought she knew, what with how she went on and on about Lucy when they met–”

“Who’s Lucy?” Lena growled.

“–the second, yeah, that’s a concern, but she talks about you even more than she ever did Lucy, and I’m a little mad that she didn’t tell me, she always tells me–”

“Who. Is. Lucy.”

“–but mostly I think I’m okay with it, because I just remembered Maggie and I weren’t wearing clothes last night and now Kara gets to stumble through apologizing that she’s seen my girlfriend naked.”

She’s what?!

ink-stained skin // reggie mantle soulmate au

Ink-stained Skin

Words: 1.3k

Summary: Reggie attempts to contact his soulmate through words written on his skin. (Y/N) attempts to push her soulmate away.

masterlist

(Y/N) sighed as the writing appeared on her skin. It had read:

‘I got football captain!‘ 

with a smiley face drawn at the end. Pushing herself up from her seat, she made her way towards the bathroom in hope of getting rid of the ink incorporated into her skin. It had been the third time in a week that her soulmate had written to her and it had been the third time in a week she had ignored the words he wrote.

She didn’t want to push him away but she also didn’t want to be with Reggie Mantle, the guy, who on most days had an iQ lower than her six year old cousin. Sure, he was built like a God and sure, he had enough sporting ability to make up for the lack of hers but she couldn’t be with him. Of course, she couldn’t be with him, not when they spent ever waking moment disagreeing over the simplest things. She knew it was him, however she tried her hardest to hide her identity from him.

He had tried to figure out who the person he was destined to be with ever since he realised that they existed.

He was eight when he first realised that his soulmate existed. Unlike the rest of his friends, he didn’t have a name etched into his skin, neither did he have a countdown on the wrist of his prominent arm. To Reggie, there was no sign of him having a soulmate. Until the very day, he saw a messy sketch of what seemed to be a rose appear on his right forearm during math class. He gazed around the room, wondering if it was anyone he already knew. Every year since, on the exact date, a rose appeared on his right forearm.

The sign of his soulmate’s existence that caused him to reach out to them occurred when he was thirteen. He felt a pain in his ankle that caused him to drop to the ground in the midst of a soccer game, clutching it in hopes it would stop the pain.

Later that evening, he picked up the purple sharpie that sat atop of his wooden desk and pressed it against his skin, doodling a frowning face, following it with the words:

‘I hope u r okay.’

He sat waiting for a response from his soulmate, shaking his leg impatiently. He sat waiting for a response; after an hour of waiting, he attempted to contact her again, etching the words:

‘ur probably asleep, i hope u get well soon’ 

and followed it with a doodle of himself.

She stared at his writing, only just noticing how messy it was. Analysing it closely, she realised it was his writing. It was Reggie Mantle’s writing. She recognised it from anywhere. Who wouldn’t recognise their lab partner’s writing?

It had been two weeks since Reggie had wrote to (Y/N) informing him of his new title as the captain of the Riverdale bulldogs.

She felt upset but she didn’t know why. She wasn’t that into Reggie. Looking down at her arm, she noticed a drawing of a sad face followed with the words:

'silent treatment?’

She let out a small laugh at the words, deciding it would be an appropriate time to reply. After eight years of ignoring him, she finally replied to his words.

'never’

She sighed, maybe she had judged Reggie before even giving him a chance. “Oh god, what’s gotten you in this state? Is it Mantle?” Kevin spoke, earning his best friend’s attention. “So when are you going to fuck him?”

(Y/N) spun around in her chair and dragged herself toward him and smacked his arm. “I hate you.”

“Does he even know his infamous soulmate is you?”

“No and he’s not going to find out until we graduate!”

(Y/N) was about to join Kevin on her bed, when she felt a tickling sensation on her left forearm. She smiled at his response, his words making him seem like an excited child during Christmas.

Reggie looked down at his arm, smiling to himself. She had finally written back. “Dude, she wrote back.” he grinned “Andrews, she finally wrote back!”

“I’m happy for you, cap but coach wants us on the field.”

He spent all of practise counting down the minutes until he could reply to his soulmate. He was unsure whether his soulmate was a female or a male but it never really mattered to him.

After showering, he picked up a pen only to notice that his soulmate had drawn a small rabbit on her left wrist. For most of the eight years he knew of his soulmate’s existence, he had always thought that they were left handed, as the drawing of the rose always seemed to appear on his right forearm. He took his place next to Archie, waiting for coach Clayton to enter the locker room with the information about their next game.

Archie looked over at his smitten captain, knowing that there was no way he would be paying attention to a word their Coach had said, too infatuated with the new drawing on his arm. “She actually wrote back. What is she doing?” he mumbled to himself, pulling his phone out from the back pockets of his jeans, wanting to text her.

Reggie was pulled out of his trance as he heard Archie’s mumbled words, his eyes widening slightly, Archie must’ve known who his soulmate was. “She? You know my soulmate!”

“Reggie, calm down, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Reggie nudged Archie playfully “Tell me.”

“No.”

(Y/N) could barely react before Kevin snatched her phone off her and answered Archie’s incoming call. She let out a groan, knowing that it would be related to Reggie.

“You’re writing back to Reggie? (Y/N), that’s a disaster waiting to happen.” Archie exclaimed as soon as she answered, causing Kevin to laugh. “You’ll never be able to hide your identity from him until graduation if you continue replying.”

“My god, Andrews, you sound like you’re in the midst of a mental breakdown.” Kevin scoffed “Plus, she’s only just started drooling over Mantle.”

“I’m coming over! I’m bringing food!”

Reggie sat in his car waiting for Moose to get back with their food. Looking at himself in the rear-view mirror, he noticed a bruise had formed on his bicep. Instantly, he picked up a pen and wrote to her, drawing a winking face

'how did u get ur bruise? hope you haven’t been fighting’

Within a few seconds, his soulmate had already responded.

'SORRY!!!! the door handle was a lot higher than i expected. hope you didn’t feel it.’

Reggie let out a small laugh, not even realising that Moose had joined him in the car.

“Dude, you’re whipped and you don’t even know who this person is. What if it’s some old dude who’s kidnapped your soulmate and is trying to lure you to his house?” Moose groaned. “You did order a steak burrito right?”

A new semester meant new classes, new activities. (Y/N) slumped into her seat during home room, Kevin to her right and Reggie sat behind him. He glanced up from his desk, only to be met with Kevin, whose head instantly shot back to face his best friend.

“Got a problem, Keller?” He spoke, earning a scoff from (Y/N) “You too, (L/N)?”

“Don’t inflate your ego any further there, Reginald. It might burst.” (Y/N) responded, turning back to face the front, not wanting to speak to him any further.

(Y/N) then realised the reason why she had been so hesitant to reveal who she was to him. It was because he was one of the most egotistical people she knew and the person she spoke to through her ink-stained skin was nothing like the person she knew.

As soon as the bell rang, (Y/N) pushed herself out in attempt to beat the crowd that would be gathering in front of her locker. As she rushed, she failed to weave through the desk, hitting her hip on the corner. She let out a groan, clutching her hip instantly.

Reggie felt the pain grow in his hip as he watched (Y/N) try to groan and walk the pain out. His eyes widening and a gasp falling from his lips.

“It’s you. You’re my soulmate.”

Imagine: At some point, Taako becomes obsessed with mirrors. Not in a vain way, as people keep accusing him, but because he catches a glimpse of his face in the mirror out of the corner of his eye and it hurts and the hurt is gone and then he’s just looking at himself in the mirror, trying to figure out what just happened

It’s usually only a few minutes at a time, but those minutes add up until it’s hours per week and days per year just looking for something he can’t find.

He laughs off any comments, usually - “Have you seen my face, my dude? It’s perfect! Of course I like to look at it.”

It’s not just the possible return to his cooking show that makes him hesitate in Wonderland when he has to sacrifice his beauty.

After they beat Wonderland and settle down for the night, he pulls out the Pocket Spa again - and for the first time in a long time there’s no ghost in the mirror out of the corner of his eye.

(A day and a drink of ichor later, he finally remembers who he was trying to find in his own face.)

  • Me: having a structured life is exhausting!
  • Therapist: I understand. Let's say just get up in the morning, get some breakfast, go for a walk...and that's it for a start.
  • Me: *internally: sounds reasonable, but that means first fighting against my will to just stay in bed and act as if I'm not existing. Getting up either way and facing my face and body in the mirror. There's an 80% chance that it's one of those days and I hate myself just so fucking much I could scream. But there's also a chance I look in the mirror and find a person that does not seem to be familiar to me looking back at me. Still, now you want me to shower and wash this body I find really disgusting. I have to see every single scar I have and maybe feel the burn of fresh cuts. Then I have to put on cloth, brush my teeth and my hair and do my makeup, as I can't go outside without hiding my ugly face under layers of primers and foundations and powders and highlighters and fake lashes and a perfect contour and a big nude fake smile. I spend money I don't have to make myself look good enough for myself to endure my own appearance. I remember to take my meds. Now I'm dressed (in clothes that hopefully say 'i don't care' when really I care a lot) and can go to the kitchen to prepare food that I know I won't be able to eat in 50% of the cases. There's also a good chance that I eat it and then find myself throwing up and ruining my makeup feeling every single disgusting cell of fat on my body vibrate while trying to breathe. Well either way let's say I might redo my make-up, brush my teeth again and step outside. I maybe take my horse with me and walk through the neighbourhood. I have to see people. I feel anxious. I would love to just turn around and go back home. But I keep on walking, trying to seem selfconfident so my horse and neighbours can't see or feel my insecurity. I'll try to be friendly and act normal even though I'm sure they hate me and laugh about me. Still if the communication between my horse and me isn't perfect today I'll probably cry and if a neighbour just looks at me in a way that i interpret to be unfriendly or cold or annoyed I'll probably cry too. Let's say I'm back home. Now it's like 11 in the morning. What do I do? By now I'm an emotional wreck, tired as hell, probably planing on how to harm myself with one half of my brain while the other half bundles it's last energy to prevent exactly this from happening. How do I survive the rest?*
  • Me: I'll try.
I. Choke up the depression
Feel it shape-shift to mania in your larynx
You’re drinking bottled happiness now

II. Find someone that scares you more than you scare yourself
Rip your own heart out of your chest and put it in her hands
You’ll only feel real when it hurts

III. You’ll be a mirror
The girl that dropped out of physics–
Bend her light through your focal point
Show her what she wants but does not need
Your friends will say nothing about the bruises
They all know reflected images are not real

IV. Sink deep into your own body
Search
For the soul you convinced yourself was never really there to begin with
Sickness eats at your brain and shreds the lining of your stomach
Self diagnose, self medicate, self destruct

V. Tell the boy in gym class about the pills you pop on the weekend
Two years later he’ll crash his car rolling on the same prescription
Shatters his ulna on the driver’s side window
Quit those and started abusing his adderall
Another casualty left in your wake

VI. Continue to avoid yourself
Internal monologue is canceled today
Drown out any remnants of thought with music louder than your lungs when they scream for nicotine

VII. Today you’re the cool girl in all black
Tomorrow you’ll wear tie dye and soften your voice
Spending the day wondering if your bisexuality is an excuse to ignore the burning need to find your identity

VII. Music can’t drown out the intrusive thoughts
Stay up all night waiting for the floor to fall out from underneath you
Justify three days without sleep as a forced shift to mania
Realize you’re still wallowing in crippling depression

VIII. Switch to uppers

IX. Get clean under a microscope when she gets sick of carrying around your arhythmic heart
Detox in front of an audience
Spend March sweating and shivering
Dry heaving in the back corner of the girl’s bathroom between AP literature and AP psychology
There’s no time to talk about it

X. Spend a year learning to trust again
Make progress through regression
Hurt your friends
See a doctor
Keep an untouched bottle of pills on your nightstand
Let them pile up month after month
Is addiction okay if your name is on the prescription?

XI. Become enchanted by the boy in your ceramics class
Let him shatter the mirror you hide behind
Force yourself to face the tough questions
He’ll hold your hand as you navigate the shattered glass
Lead him to safety–he doesn’t wear shoes

XII. 2 a.m. on a school night and you’re sitting in his car looking up at the stars
Wrapped in the blanket he keeps just for you
Laughing at nothing and feeling everything
This is it
This is you
And you are enough

—  Thank you for holding my hand while I find myself
More langst

Lance used to self harm. He’s stopped, in a way. He doesn’t leave scars anymore. But he hates the ones he does have.

His long sleeved shirts and sweaters hide them good enough.

But when he showers, he looks at him arms. The scars are ugly and look so bright and apparent to him. So he scrubs at his skin until it hurts. His skin is red and he still scrubs. Sometimes he’ll scratch, hoping the red lines he leaves don’t become scars.

Sometimes the scars don’t bother him in the shower. But the urge to self harm is so strong, he feels it wrap itself around him like a weighted blanket. He doesn’t want to leave marks, so he’ll turn off the cold water. His skin is burning and he crumples up against the heat. He’s about to move but freezes.

“I deserve this.”

He lets the water burn him as he stands there. As the water starts to turn cool, he turns it off. He looks at the fogged mirror and sees his silhouette.

He takes a deep breath in and clenches his fists. His nails digging into his skin but he does nothing. He holds himself back from doing worse to himself.

When he tried to sacrifice himself to save someone in battle, he does so in the hope of finally doing something worthwhile. Of him FINALLY being useful.

When he makes jokes and knows that they are usually ignored or just seen as annoying, he hopes that even if he’s seen in a bad light, they at least remember him.

Because growing up in a big family, a lot of the times whenever his sisters or brothers or parents told a story they’d forget he was with them. They’d forget he was there with them, and if they did remember, it was usually in the terms of “me and someone else, can’t remember who-” and that hurts.

“Am I really that replaceable? Am I that forgettable?” His insecurities started from a young age so he doesn’t care if he’s seen in a good light or a bad light. As long as someone remembers him.

So it hurts when Keith has no idea who the hell he is. Because maybe he is that replaceable and forgettable.

He get jealous of the way everyone seems so close. He’s jealous of how Shiro and Keith’s closeness. He’s jealous of Pidge and Hunk. He’s jealous of Allura and Coran. He has no one. Just…. Himself.

He knows he does it to himself. He doesn’t want to tell people the problem but sometimes he wishes that they’d care enough to ask. Or even notice that his smiles don’t always reach his eyes.

And it hurts when the other paladins don’t really want to hang out with him. It hurts when he stays in his room by himself for days and no one really notices.

He picks his face. He can’t help it. If he has a blackhead, he’ll pick at the skin until his finger nails have blood on them. He feels a bump and honestly it’s nothing. But he picks at it anyways. Some days when he feels like he’s breaking out, he’ll pull out his face masks. They make him feel better but he only has so much left so he uses them sparingly.

One day after he has a break down, he just can’t pull himself back. He uses the face mask. He can’t help but have a burning shower. On this day, he actually wipes the foggy mirror, staring at himself. The bags under his eyes seem to be darker than normal to him. His skin has steam coming off of it.

“Have I looked like this for a while?”

He wishes Hunk had never grew apart form him. It wasn’t s huge change, honestly the only thing that changed was him. He felt like he was holding Hunk back from making better friends.

Hunk still cares for him. He just thinks that Lance is pushing him away, wants his own space. Thinking it’d be best to let Lance deal with whatever he’s dealing with and coming around to him later, Hunk doesn’t seek him out.

Keith noticed. He noticed since they first met. And it annoyed him. “How can he just pretend everything is fine when it’s not? How can he be so fake?” It’s one of the reasons Keith doesn’t like him. But as things get worse, he starts to back off. He’s worried, but how the hell do you approach someone?

Pidge notices Lance is a little off. She doesn’t say anything, not knowing what exactly is going on or how to help him out. So she hopes someone who knows will help him.

Shiro doesn’t notice. Honestly, he has so much going on he doesn’t notice half the shit going on between the paladins. Same with Allura.

Coran though. He sees how Lance is hurting. He tries to help, he really does. He asks Lance how he’s doing but he keeps brushing him off. “I’m fine, how are you Coran?” Is the usual answer.

Lance thinks he hides it so well. And true, if you weren’t around him a lot, you’d never notice. But they do notice. He just doesn’t know.

So his vicious cycle continues. And he feels utterly alone. And remembering they’re in space makes it worse.

the quality of mercy (1/1)

Summary: In which Killian confesses to David and Emma. Spoilers for 6x12.

Rated: T

Warnings: None

Words: ~4.3k

Notes: I had a lot of feelings about the end of 6x12.  Title from The Quality of Mercy by William Shakespeare.  Much love and gratitude to my instrumental wife @ripplestitchskein for reading this through for me.

Also on ff and ao3


The worst of it, Killian thinks, is that for a moment, he doesn’t recall the man’s face.

He was nothing but a liability, standing between his crew and enough riches to carry him from one day to the next, bleeding out a living until he could sink his hook into the crocodile’s neck. And he doesn’t recognize David’s father at first, because he’d been merely one in the stream, one of the nameless voices that whispers to him late at night, or early in the morning, growing louder and louder, until he’s forced out of bed – and out of the endearingly tight circle of Emma’s arms – to wander along the line where the town meets the sea.

Only now, this one has a name, and the longer and harder he peers down at the drawing, the more familiar he seems. Not only from a hazy memory, but from the set of his brow, the swell of his cheeks, features he sees in the man he now calls his friend, and in the woman he longs to call his wife. And here, in the midnight shadows of the home he shares with her, he holds tight to the incriminating pages, a wisp of the darkness still stirring in his heart suggesting he surrender them to the sea.

Keep reading

Moving on After Fred Weasley Passes Away - Headcanon/Would Include

Warnings: This broke my heart to write):


  • You wouldn’t cry much towards the beginning. Of course when the news hit a barricade of tears fell freely but after that, you learned how to bottle it all up. Everything was so unreal you weren’t even sure if it what was real anymore.
  • Fred was your best friend, your other half, the love of your life.
  • After the Battle of Hogwarts you’d travel back to the Burrow with the Weasley’s.
  • He was buried shortly after the Battle. His casket was a sleek black color and shined in the rain that fell. You placed a flower on the top of his casket and choked on a shaky sob. George stood behind you and his hand found it’s way into yours, giving you a squeeze of reassurance as he cried with you. You had never felt more lost in your life. Your fingers twiddled with the diamond band wrapped around your finger. It felt more like a piece of mockery, there to remind you everyday of what you could now never have.
  • Molly spent an entire week in the twins’ bedroom. She didn’t talk, hardly ate, just stared blankly at the wall next to Fred’s bed. He had pictures of his Hogwarts adventures taped to the wall and she had memorized every prospect of the photos so much she couldn’t rid the image from her brain when she closed her eyes, but she didn’t want to forget.
  • At the end of the week George entered his and Fred’s bedroom for the first time since the Battle. He spent an hour talking to his mother. You never did find out what he said, but you remember the burning visual of Molly exiting the room with reddened eyes full of heartbreak.
  • Ginny spent the nights sleeping in her room with you and cuddled against your chest, silently weeping to herself. Your presence made her feel close to her late brother, like he had never actually left.
  • George, Molly, and you would clean out Fred’s half of the room. It was full of tears and once happy now sad memories. Like the large maroon tie blanket you had made for Fred on your anniversary. Or the book on Magical Creatures that Fred had stolen on accident in Diagon Alley while he spied on you from behind a bookcase. You were shopping for all your school supplies and the redhead had torn from his family, catching glimpse of you in the robes shop and managed to follow you two stores later not wanting to leave you. You eventually caught him as he tripped over a pile of books, the binds of knowledge cascading to the floor with a crash. You smiled and helped him up while introducing yourself. The rest was history.
  • Arthur stood in the doorway of the room watching the three of you clean. Deep aging wrinkles indented his forehead making him appear older than he really was. His face was long, drowning in sorrow. He didn’t say a word, just watched.
  • Ginny cried alone in her room. Harry tried to comfort her but his success was no avail. She locked herself away for three days, lost in a sea of depression.
  • Ron turned to Harry and Hermione who welcomed him with open arms. He was the first to open up after his older brother’s death.
  • You stayed at the Burrow for a almost three weeks before flying to France. You choice was rash but you needed to get away. Molly understood and wished you well. You didn’t know how long you would be gone but you hoped it would give you some time to come to terms with the heartbreak you were experiencing.
  • Fred used to tell you when you were in school together that he always dreamed of going to France. He never knew why. He was rubbish at speaking French and had no idea how he’d survive, but it was a dream of his.
  • Percy, Bill, and Charlie all stayed at the Burrow for a month or so. Their hearts ached at the lose of their younger brother.
  • George… George no longer felt like himself. It was as if a part of himself was missing, torn from his soul. He dragged through the day’s, closing down the shop for a while. After spending two weeks at the Burrow he moved back to the apartment above Weasley Wizard Wheezes that Fred and him shared. The second he walked through the door he broke down. Tears splashed against his cheeks as he finally let all his emotions pour out. He called you, practically begging you to keep him company.
  • Of course you obliged and flew back home immediately. You lived with Fred in the apartment too. It was your home as well and you had been putting off going back to the apartment as much as possible. The home held so many items from your past involving Fred and you. Where he proposed to you, where you had you first blow up fight, where you had you first time together, where you had the million of talks about your future together, and so much more.  
  • This made Molly feel a little better when she heard you would be staying with George for a while. She hated the thought of George being all along right after losing his best friend, his twin, his other half.
  • You left France still clutching a box full of Fred’s belonging. A heavy feeling invaded your heart. You took a train to London after landing then joined George at the shop.
  • The minute the door swung open George’s arms were thrown around your frame as he pulled you into a tight embrace. The barrier you had been working so hard to uphold, crumbled at his touch. Not because you felt you could finally let go of all the emotions being kept inside. No, you cried because George’s embrace reminded you of Fred’s. The way his hold tighten as you sobbed mirrored Fred’s actions identically. Your chest ached as you came to realize you future with Fred was gone. George’s salty tears splashed on the crown of your head.
  • The first week barely any words at all were exchanged. You would mumble a small ‘good morning’ to each other during breakfast but that was usually it.
  • George spent the days in his room and the nights at a bar across the street. This continued on for a week until you confronted him. You waited up all night, worried sick. He stumbled in around three in the morning, eyes brimming red, breath stenching strong from alcohol.
  • “George Weasley, what the hell?” You would screeched. His eyes snapped up at you resembling a deer caught in headlights. His gazed quickly fell to the floor as he shut the house door and brushed past you. You yelled after him making him halt in his path,
  • “George pease just talk to me! I know this is hard for you, believe me I do. He was your brother. You two have never been apart so I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. George I’m here for you and you can talk to me because I lost him too. You did everything with Fred, you two started this business together and we both know he just wants you to be happy again. Please… just try, George. Try for me, try for Fred. Please. I just want to be here for you. If there’s something I did. If you hate me-” Your voice broke at the end and your knees gave up. Crashing to the floor a echoing cry invaded the air. George stood motionless watching you fall apart before his eyes. He could almost hear Fred scolding him and urging him to act. Fred would want George to comfort you, Fred would want you two to be there for each other.
  • George hesitantly crossed the room and bent to your level. His hand reached out, brushing a strand of messy hair from your face. Glancing up at him you started in to question him but George beat you around the bush. He seemed half sobered up and shook his head.
  • “Y/n… it’s not you, I swear. You’re the most purest human being in the entirety of the world, please don’t think that way. Every moment you and Fred were together I could never shake that from my mind, how perfect you are. But god Y/n every time I see you I think of my brother. He loved you more than anything in this world and I know he would hate me right now for not being there for you. I feel like I’ve let him down and that hurts more than anything. I see Fred everytime I look in the mirror, everytime I see the pictures on the fridge, everytime I walk into the shop, everytime I come home and everytime I see you.”
  • His words took you by storm but for once, it made sense. You had been sleeping in Fred and your bed, helping start the shop back up (mainly by yourself), and it probably didn’t help that you had been stealing items of Fred’s clothing, just wanting to be close to him again. For the first time since the Battle, you admitted the burden you’d been holding inside.
  • “I wish I could’ve saved him. If I wasn’t distracted by the helping that student- if I would have been paying more attention to Fred… he’d still be here.” You quivered. George’s eye soften and he shook his head.
  • “Y/n you know no one could’ve stopped what happen. I’ve spent every night laying awake wondering if I could’ve changed something. I’m not sure what god planned this, or if there even is one, but Y/n we had no control over this.” His arms locked around you pulling you against his chest. His lips planted against your forehead sweetly covering you in a blanket of comfort.
  • You spent the rest of the night in George’s arm. You shared memories of Fred, some sweet, some funny, and some that made you cry again.
  • “Remember the time the two of you enchanted endless snowballs to pelt, well technically, Voldemort in the face and Quill in the back of the head?” You giggled into the glass of cherry red wine you held to your lips. George leaned into the cushion of the couch and shook his head with a smile. 
  • “Classic!”
  • George spent the night in Fred and your bed- to keep you company of course.
  • He kept you company for the rest of the nights to follow
  • The two of you began to drift into a weird zone
  • You had always lightly fancied George but it was Fred you loved.
  • He would randomly start bringing you home flowers and other small gifts
  • Some days George would come home to find a bundled up new sweater placed on his work desk. You always claimed the things you bought him were on sale so you just couldn’t resist but George knew better
  • A strong connection was growing and it confused you- George too. You wanted another shot at happiness but you weren’t sure if you were ready yet until another vacant Friday night rolled around and you found yourself laying on the couch in George’s arm talking about the week and before you knew it he was leaning forward.
  • The first time you kissed George you screwed your eyes shut tightly and imagined his lips as Fred’s. You knew it was horrible but you had no clue what else to do. It was like you were cheating on your fiance- your dead fiance, with his twin brother. But when you realized it was George, you didn’t entirely hate it. It was actually quite a fulfilling kiss. A part from inside of you warmed up for the first time in a long time.
  • George had a sickening vibe settling in the pit of his stomach after he pulled back. His heart sped up at the newfound affection the kiss brought although kissing you made him feel like he was betraying his brother. Fred planned to marry you for Merlin’s sake and there George was, making out with his dead twin’s girlfriend.
  • But you kissed him again the next day and he didn’t pull away
  • And the next
  • And the one after that too
  • Kissing you made George think of his brother. Fred loved you and George could understand why. Kissing you, sleeping beside you, comforting you, it all made George feel as if he was somehow growing closer to his twin.
  • At first your relationship with George was based solely on the fact that he was identical to your late lover but as time passed on George made you feel differently than Fred did. Despite you never thinking it was possible, George taught you how to laugh again. He would slowly crack back into his prankster self again. It took his almost a full year after Fred’s passing to invent a new product for the shop or even enter the store for more than passing to get to the apartment. He tested out the product on you during breakfast one morning. Pouring a lilac solution into the base of your black coffee and giving it a swirl, George carried on with breakfast as if nothing had happen. Dragging in, you hugged George from behind before taking a seat at the nook. You instantly sipped on the brewed mixture in front of you and spit it out in shock as the odd flavor set in.
  • George howled in laughed and bent over the kitchen stove pointing towards you. Furrowing your eyebrows you set the mug down and spoke up agitated,
  • “George what the hell did you put in- oh my god!”
  • You realized the change in tone quickly and covered your face in embarrassment. Your voice was as deep as a well making you sound similar to that of a male that had spent over half his life heavily smoking. George rushed over and planted a kiss to your cheek.
  • “It worked!” Although you were thoroughly ticked off at his choice of targeting you, you were happy he was back to his old ways. The bills were piling up by the second and the landlord wanted the shop either back up and running, or both of you to move out. Dumping your infected cup of coffee down the sink drain you started to make a new batch. Smiling to yourself you laughed softly,
  • “Well, I’m glad to have you back, George.”
  • That was only the beginning. George and you spent almost every moment inventing and creating new sale items. The first handful were absolute rubbish but it didn’t matter. Both of you were trying to get back in the swing of things and sometimes that took a while.
  • Within three months Weasley Wizard Wheezes was back up and running again.
  • Sales flooded in and shot straight through the roof steadily for a long term.
  • As a ‘thank you’ present for helping him get back on his feet George invited you out for a fancy meal out on the town.
  • You decided on a Muggle restaurant and dressed to the nines. George’s jaw skimmed the floor when you walked out of your room and slipped on your heels. He held your hand and escorted you out.
  • During dinner you had ntoiced how fidgety and nervous George was acting. You made the choice to question him on it over a glass of champagne right before the main course and he physically stiffened. Tilting his glass back, George chugged down the large intake and wiped his lips on the red amber napkin. His hands clasped together then unclasped at his side. His soft eyes found yours and he darted them back down to the tablecloth.
  • “It’s just- well, Y/n… what are we?”
  • It would get silent very fast and he would instantly fill it.
  • “What I mean is, I like you… I like you a lot but I know how you felt about my brother. I saw the glint in your eyes that would sparkle whenever you saw him and how happy you two were together and Y/n I want to be able to make you as happy as Fred did. With that being said I don’t want you to be with me because I remind you of him or because you can’t stop thinking about Fred. I’m not gonna lie at the start of our, uh, relationship I was hanging out with you because you made me think of Fred but all those late nights and million cups of coffee have made me realize the truth. I love you Y/n- and not because you dated my brother. I love you for you and I think I have for a very long time. What I’m asking is… Y/n would you um, like to be my girlfriend?”
  • You cried, a lot. George’s heart broke at the sight only confirming the love swelling in his heart. His feelings were genuine and it warmed your soul. You lunged across the table knocking over the bread bowl in the process and threw your arms around George’s frame.
  • “Of course I will! Oh my god, George. You’re making me cry like a bloody fool!”
  • George called his mother the second you got home. Molly was hit with a wave of shock at first. She gave both of you long speeches trying to inspect if the love was real or a mask to feign the hurt of bonding over the lose of Fred. She demanded both of you come home to the Burrow for the week so you did and the moment she looked into both of your eyes, it was clear as crystal.
  • “Good lord you are in love!”
  • It was hard for the rest of the Weasley family to accept at first. You understood completely since you had the same weary, unsure feeling as well but eventually they came to accept it. They were all happy to you and George happy once again.
  • But as happy as you were, small memories with Fred would constantly pop up.
  • Like one night when George and you were lying in bed together whispering softly realization would settle in and you’d comment,
  • “This is where he proposed. We were lying right here when Fred asked me to marry him.”
  • You knew how horrid it was to put this on George but you had no control. George thought about this all the time and was reminded of your relationship with his brother at every corner he turned.
  • You would then apologize feeling god awful for saying such a thing but George would hush you saying,
  • “It’s alright Y/n. Just because he’s not around anymore and because we’re together now doesn’t mean we have to pretend he was never alive or your relationship with him didn’t exist. He loved you, and I know how much you love him. I’m not upset- actually I’m more than thankful my brother managed to snag a girl like you. You two were perfect together and he will always love you just like how you will always love him. Fred… he is… was my brother and for a long time I thought he would hate me for me being with you and for a long time I thought my heart tricked me into loving you. That maybe it wasn’t love I was feeling but rather so the relationship my brother and I had and maybe because he loved you so much, being with you would make me feel less lonely about losing him but I know the truth. I love you, Y/n. Hell, maybe I always have but the important thing is I love you now and I will love you tomorrow and I will continue to love you years from now and that’s not because of Fred, it’s because of you and who you are. I love you.”
  • You two learned how to live your life no longer feeling guilty for the love you shared. Fred smiled down his heart warming at seeing his two favorite people in the world relying on each other and sharing a piece of their heart together.
  • He proposed to you in the middle of a busy work day right as you were restocking a shelf. The rest of his family were there to see. Molly, Hermione and Ginny cried a river while the boys patted George on the back. On your wedding day the tears were never ending, though happy ones.
  • You two eventually moved to London- kept the shop but decided you needed more room, well of course your growing stomach demanded that. One cold night in the middle of December George and you were blessed with the birth of your first son, Fred ll. He had a head of wicked red hair and a small mischievous smile toying on his face and you had never felt more complete in your life. George planted a kiss to your head muttering a string of ‘thank yous’. You knew in your heart this was exactly where you were meant to be.

- Daizy xx

Sometimes I look at old pictures and I think- who was that girl? That girl on the left was sad. I used to lay in bed and cry.. I wanted so much more out of my life and my weight was truly holding me back from being happy. I never imagined being where I am today. I used to make every excuse as to why I was over weight- you know the “I’m big boned” or “my body was meant to be this size” all of which is total bullshit- but at the time I totally believed it! I had no idea what my body really looked like under all those pounds- 130 to be exact! Now it’s hard for me to look I the mirror and see what the rest of the world sees. Obviously I know I’m no longer “fat” but I also don’t see myself as “thin.” Sometimes I feel like a whale- how is that even possible? Extreme weight loss is a total mind fuck. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just hope you know- if you’re that girl on the left- you are brave, you are capable, you are significant- and you can accomplish anything 💕

IG : kburg21

Possibly Unpopular Opinion(?)

i think the gems looking like ‘humans’ could work if they were all designed to be somewhat Uncanny Valley-ish or i guess just straight up alien depending on how this goes

i’m no good at articulating exactly what i mean but here’s some examples off the top of my head w/ minimal revision of what i’m talking abt

Pearl (and pearls in general perhaps) being pretty but her limbs are too long and heck she’s just Too Long in general. maybe ‘jointed’ looking elbows/knees/other bendy parts to sort of give off a sort of mannequin/doll feel??? maybe has a ‘spidery’/spindly motion to her

Lapis keeping the mirror eyes and having her arms be either Too Long(again) or kinda like an oar w/fingers (to force water around w/), maybe legs kinda like a waterstrider bug to kinda stand on water (in this case maybe have arms/hands that are similar)

Amethyst keeping her more ‘catlike’ features, maybe getting some more sharp teeth (for the sake of keeping it animate-able i’m gonna say they’re just sharp ‘V’ teeth but im mostly imagining a sort of  general ‘carnivore’ mouth) - maybe she has spikes too

Rose just generally being pretty but it’s the sort of pretty that’s just deeply unnerving?? kinda like a really realistic porcelain doll?? i have no idea how to word this honestly 

All Gems ranging from either “uncanny valley people” to “holy shit what is that” depending on their relative strength or something i dunno

The Diamonds are just fucking gigantic blobs of tinted light w/ ‘faces’ and discernible forms when they want (or need?) those - the murals of them are art of their most ‘common’ manifestations of what they wanna look like

feel free to add more if you have other ideas bcs im fresh out and the first sentences of this post became less and less relevant as this went on im sorry

Reasons why I need top surgery;

Reasons why I need top surgery;
1. To not have to wear a binder every single day of my existence after 3.5 years
2. To wear white/see through t-shirts without having to worry about people seeing my binder
3. To wear those really douchy vests
4. To not have to be so specific in which t-shirts I buy
5. To not stare in the mirror for ages making sure I’m flat at every angle
6. To get out of the shower and not have to wait around so I’m dry enough to put my binder on
7. To wear button down shirts without having a weird bump
8. To wear a shirt and tie and for the tie to fall flat
9. To not have a binder push my body so my hips are more prominent
10. To not feel a constant pressure around my ribs
11. To not have weird bit chest hanging on the sides of my binder
12. To have hugs and fully feel them against my chest
13. To not worry when people tap/rub my back and feel my binder
14. To experience how different materials feel on my chest and back
15. To feel flat enough
16. To actually have nothing between my chest and clothes
17. To stay over someone’s house and not worry about binding
18. To not have to experience taking a binder off before I sleep
19. To wake up and not feel exposed because I’m not wearing a binder
20. To lie in bed and not feel anything on my chest
21. To not have permanent marks from my binder on my body
22. To not worry about people touching my chest
23. To just get out of bed when a parcel arrives rather than scrambling to put a binder on
24. To not be so damn hot all the time
25. To look in the mirror and be happy with what I see
26. To not dread having a bath/shower
27. To do sport and not feel like I’m going to die
28. To go swimming shirtless
29. To be shirtless in my own home
30. To exercise and not worry about changing binders
31. To be able to breathe easily
32. To feel freedom
33. To be able to walk around in just boxers
34. To lie with someone without a shirt on
35. To not have to buy another binder
36. To stand up tall
37. To wear a backpack comfortably
38. To feel comfortable in changing rooms
39. To move on and start living my life
40. To make my body feel like home

“Even, I trust you.” Isak takes a deep breath, eyes shut tightly, “I trust you more than anything else in the world.”

He can feel more than hear Even’s responding chuckle, “That’s nice to hear. I’d never lie to you.”

“Good,” he expels the breath, “Very good. So right now, in this moment, I need you to be brutally honest with me.”

“Go on.”

Isak opens his eyes, wincing at the reflection in the mirror, “How bad do I look?”

Even turns him from the mirror to face him head on rather than in the reflection. Blue eyes rove over every inch of Isak’s face, taking in the bruising along his nose to his eye, the still swollen aspect of his upper lip- fuck maybe he’s seeing some dried blood that has refused to go away despite the amounts of showers Isak has taken over the weekend. 

Even shakes his head, “Still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Isak rolls his eyes, gingerly rubbing the sore skin, “Try to think from the point of view of the student body and not of my whipped boyfriend.”

“Impossible,” Even bats Isak’s fingers away, “And I resent being called whipped.”

“Hmm,” Isak turns back and prods himself in the mirror, “I suppose I do look kind of badass.”

Even’s tone is wry, “The baddest.”

Fuck you, Isak thinks.

“Fuck you.” Isak says mildly, before shrugging and sliding out of the bathroom, “Well. We’re going to be late for school.”

how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.
Sex Appeal(Taekook Threesome Smut)

Alright so I just lovveeee doing these warnings. Not really but I don’t want people complaining so! You have been warned there will be a little male x male and a lot of male on female and dirty talking. This is for @kimswoc I hope you enjoy!

Synopsis:  {hi, could i request a taekook x reader smut where shes just dancing a practice room doing a sexy dance and they take her home and fuck her,, and all 3 of them are in a poly relationship}


“Am I even doing it, right?” You questioned yourself as you glided against the brown tiled floor of the practice room. Hands going up to pull at your hair in frustration you stomped around rather childishly before you threw your hands up looking in the mirror. “You can do this! It’s just a dance and it’s not that hard! Get it together girlfriend.” Giving yourself the little pep talk made you feel a little better but not a lot. Your hands went to your hips and your eyes roamed your own figure as you tried to boost yourself up. You didn’t have on anything special just a sports bra and black leggings with white sneakers. Your hair was loose and framing your face because who didn’t look to swing their hair to give off sex appeal while dancing? You were at the Bighit building in one of the practice rooms while your two lovers Taehyung and Jungkook practiced with the boys. Yep that’s right you were dating both of them and you were loving it. The story behind you meeting was one that was rather funny in your eyes. You were going down on Taehyung one day when he was supposed to be alone at the dorm rooms. You had both been close friends because surprise one of your cousins was a cordi who gave you the hookup. You and Taehyung had always felt sexual tension so you took that chance to blow him in his bed. But while you were ass up and face down engulfing all of his dick down your throat in walks Jungkook who had forgotten his charger. Of course he wanted in on the action but because he wasn’t eighteen yet you made him wait until he was old enough before you finally invited him into the relationship. When they weren’t on tour they were constantly at your place or it was vice versa. In some ways, it was better this way that you dated both. Because when you all went out on dates everyone was stupid enough to think since there was three of you, that you had to know someone from that group or maybe be a sibling. Yeah you were something alright daddy’s little girl for Taehyung and when you could get him to be good and drop his macho manhood you were mommy for Jungkook.

Recently, Jungkook and Jimin had did a dance cover to one of Drake’s songs Own It. The song was one of your favorites and personal for you because you had fucked Jungkook to that song and he told you to indeed own it. Seeing them dance to it only made you want to learn the dance and add a few more touches of your own. But it was hard to get your foot work down like you wanted, constant thoughts distracted your mind and you didn’t know how you could try to force yourself to keep up with focusing on just dancing. You stepped forward to replay the song, moving back into place you tried it again. And then you went again. And then you turned one more time before screaming out. Sweat dripping down your spent body, you hunched over with your hands on your knees looking up in the mirrors at your reflection. Jumping slightly with a light yelp seeing two faces pressed at the door. You turned around while Jungkook took the liberty to push the door open walking in with Taehyung.

“How long have you been there thing one and two?” You teased moving to grab a towel and wipe yourself off.

“Enough to hear, get it together girlfriend!” Taehyung snapped his fingers using a girly voice to mock you and Jungkook grabbed at his hair stomping around in a circle. Heat rose to your face and you nodded your head watching the both of them.

“You know what fuck you both. Or should I say I won’t be fucking you both for a while.” You threatened lifting up your middle finger.

“So, your hormones are the reason you can’t concentrate then?” Taehyung questioned and you froze blinking.

“Says who?” You asked bracing your hands on your hips.

“Come on Y/N. You never bring up sex or threaten to take it away unless you’ve been a naughty girl.” Taehyung tsked.

“And got those panties dripping for us.” Jungkook chuckled biting on his bottom lip.

“You just want me lips around your pink tip.” You challenged watching them both circle you slowly. Taehyung came up to you fisting your hair with his fingers he licked your bottom lip.

“Maybe, but you love these pink tips just as well as Jungkook does.” He bit your bottom lip and Jungkook nodded his head moving to slide his hand down Taehyung’s toned stomach to pat on his crotch.

“I love taking it. But I also love shoving mine in his tight asshole and your little pussy.” Jungkook cooed winking at you.

“Get out. And go get a room!” Namjoon hollered walking by you guys and you could hear Yoongi snort slapping at the back of his head.

“Leave them alone no one complains when you fuck Jin.” Yoongi defended you because you were one of his favorite people in the world and you felt pride well up inside.

“Come on whose side are you on? That hurt.” Namjoon complained as their voices faded down from the hallway. You looked between the two males in front of you shifting on your feet lightly.

“Show us your dance. If you do a bad job. You only take one of us. If you do good you can take us both.” Jungkook promised.

“REALLY?!” You asked excitedly. They tried to hold back double penetration with you or fucking you with both at the same time because you would get really sore and they always felt guilty for making you limp around the places you all went because they couldn’t carry you.

“Really princess. So, don’t disappoint or I will handcuff you to the bed and make you watch me fuck Jungkook but you don’t get to cum or touch yourself.” You didn’t like that idea at all. Nodding you moved back towards the middle of the room looking forward. Jungkook went to your phone starting the song up again going to join Taehyung as the stood in the left corner in front of you. You were slightly nervous but you knew that if you fucked up that was it. Not thinking about anything else but the song and your moves you landed your foot work for the most part. Tripping up only once your body swayed and dipped like you wanted It to. When you finished, you looked at the males chewing on your bottom lip. Jungkook walked towards the door looking over his shoulder as Taehyung followed.

“Come on minx, let’s get you home real soon.” He cooed causing you to grab your phone and dash after them towards the van.



The ride with the other members was risky and tension filled. You had all sat in the back and told the driver that everyone but Jungkook and Taehyung would be going back to the dorm. And because it so happened your house was farther, the driver of the fan agreed to go drop the boys off at the dorms first. Taehyung had initiated it, his fingers ghosting up the silk like leggings you had on drawing circles into your skin. He watched you biting on his lip before he looked out of the window moving his hands to cup your heat. You laughed and joked with the other members but you were feeling the want and need deep in your stomach. Taehyung lifted his hand up to push it inside of your leggings past your panties, and you spread your legs wide for him welcoming his long middle finger that he pushed inside of you knuckles deep. Your head rolled slightly, your lips parted as you circled your hips against the male’s finger. Jungkook looking down seeing the sudden movement smirked to himself. The moon was coming out to shine which made this situation even better. He turned in his seat to rest his head on your shoulder, his hand sliding up to pull down your sports bra and expose your left breast. He leaned down to flick his tongue against the whole area of your breast and then going back he slowly licked around your nipple, his pink tongue lapping roughly at your flesh. Your body was trembling lightly and you had to do your best to at least try to participate in the conversations before you. Taehyung had built a slow rhythm pushing his finger in as deep as he could each time he entered you. Because you didn’t want to be left out you reached your hand over to rub Taehyung through his shorts causing him to stiffen slightly as you felt his dick twitch in the confines of his boxers. His bulge slowly hardening under your touch and pressing against his inside thigh. Your hands gripped him through the fabric and you jerked him slightly looking up at him with want and need. Taehyung pressed his forehead against yours while the music was turned up in the car when the boys heard a famous rap song that they loved. You and Taehyung’s breath mixed in lips inches from each other as you listened to the sharp breaths you each took seeing who would drive the other crazier first.

Jungkook was enjoying the show in front of him, engulfing your nipple with his mouth he sucked on it feeling his own dick stiffen at the risk of all of you getting caught and how you and Taehyung seemed to fuck each other with your eyes. Taehyung sped up his finger as much as he could, but there was a little noise of your pussy being fucked because of your wetness slipping out. The van came to a stop and Taehyung pulled his finger out of you quickly. Jungkook was just a smooth pulling up your bra as you all said your goodbye’s. Once the van was rolling again Taehyung pushed his finger against Jungkook’s lips that were coated with your juices and Jungkook opened his mouth to suck the essence away him and Taehyung locking eyes and sharing their own intense moment.

Once you were back at the house you unlocked the door to your place opening it to let the two males in. The door was shut and onto the room you all went. As soon as the bedroom door was pushed open Jungkook was pinning Taehyung down crawling on top of him. Their lips crashed as they battled for dominance moaning into each other’s mouth. Jungkook was grinding his hips down against Taehyung’s his ass pressing against the hardened bulge that you caused Taehyung to have. Taehyung reached his hands around to grip at Jungkook’s ass grinding him harder against his own dick.

“Do you like that baby boy? You like feeling my hard dick against your plump ass?” Taehyung asked him in a sultry voice and Jungkook answered back with his own deep tone.

“Mm you know it daddy. I like bouncing on your hard dick too.”

“Damn right you do.” Taehyung slapped his ass sliding his hands into the male’s jogging pants and past his boxers to grope at his bare ass pushing him down harder against his own clothed erection. They were losing their selves with moans and groans and it was so hot to you. Slowly you stripped off your clothes one by one crawling up on the dresser spreading your legs wide and pressing your feet down towards the edge of your dresser. Your fingers circled your wet clit as you moaned softly watching them both struggle to not tear each other apart. Lips locking and hair pulling it was a sight that always made you drip like a river. Jungkook had managed to get them both naked, straddling Taehyung again he gripped both of their members jerking them off with the same hand grinding his dick up and down against Taehyung’s. Your head tilted to the right, fingers moving down to slip past your tight entrance. Two fingers burying deep inside of your pussy you fucked yourself one hand going up to grab at your breast and play with your hardened nipples. Taehyung was slapping Jungkook’s ass bucking his hips up as the male jerked them both off. Jungkook soon pulled away crawling onto the floor spreading Taehyung’s legs wide. He licked a stripe up from his balls to the tip of his cock swirling his tongue around Taehyung’s weeping length. Taehyung grabbed at Jungkook’s hair letting out a moan of approval as the male sunk his mouth onto the swollen shaft. Taehyung looked at you with hooded eyes moaning for you both. He slowly thrust up his hips, eyes burning on you and dropping down to your pussy as you fingered yourself. He was fucking Jungkook’s wet mouth at a slow pace trying to keep himself from getting too worked up. Hissing slightly, he smirked at you licking over his plump lips flicking out his tongue.

“Come help him out baby girl. I love your tongue just as much. And besides, I only want my or Jungkook’s fingers buried in that tight little pussy. Unless you want to give us a show?” He asked and Jungkook pulled back with glistening pink lips lifting an eyebrow. You let out a cry of pleasure and slight frustration because you were close to cumming had he not interrupted you with his words. You took your fingers from your heat sucking them clean before you hoped off the dresser going over to join both the males. You got on your knees beside Jungkook who used his right hand to hold Taehyung by the base of his cock. Jungkook kissed your lips tilting his head to make it a deep one before he pulled back nodding at Taehyung’s cock. You leaned your head forward your tongue licking around the hard shaft that was oozing precum and looking very angry. Taehyung growled but made no move to stop you letting you take your time. Your lips wrapped around him and you gave his head a nice harsh suck. While you were preoccupied Jungkook used his left hand to slide under your legs from behind entering two fingers inside of you causing you to moan. Taehyung threw his head back at the vibrations bucking his hips up. Jungkook leaned down to lick the male’s balls and you reached your hand over to grip at Jungkook’s neglected cock stroking it with your hand. He gave out a tiny mewl of pleasure thrusting his hips forward. You pulled back so that you could suck at a ball with Jungkook and the pair of you flicked your tongue against Taehyung’s shaft sometimes together or separate causing him to be a moaning mess against the bed his abs tightening as he got closer to a release.

“Baby boy on my dick. Baby girl I want your pussy on my tongue now.” Taehyung urged and you knew he was going to be close. Nodding your heads, you both pulled back to get into position. Jungkook straddled Taehyung’s waist keeping a hold of his dick pressing the large head against his tight puckering asshole. Slowly he fell down on to the large appendage groaning at how good it felt to be filled up once again. You moved to straddle Taehyung’s face with your body facing Jungkook. Taehyung grabbed at your hips pulling you down onto his tongue flicking the pink muscle slowly up and down your pussy getting you wetter. Not wanting to tease too much Taehyung shoved his tongue deep into your pussy his hands helping you ride and grind your hips harshly against his face. Jungkook had his hands braced on Taehyung’s chest bouncing up and down on his dick taking him all the way with each snap of his hips. Taehyung bucked his hips up helping the male out. Jungkook leaned one hand forward to tangle in your hair bringing you forward for a heated kiss full of teeth and tongues. Your hand went down to wrap around his dick again stroking it quickly it earned you moans in your mouth as Jungkook was fucked and touched. Your hips ground harshly against Taehyung’s face the pleasure sweeping through your body as your thighs squeezed around his face but Taehyung didn’t care. Using his free hand, he moved his fingers up to your asshole pressing two inside of you without lube. The dryness hurt a bit but it was soon replaced by pleasure because you were used to anal play when it came to them.

Jungkook was starting to slam on Taehyung shaking from the pleasure he used his legs to pick him up and drop him down. You had to break the kiss to get out your cries of pleasure. Your heart was racing and you could hear the beating of it in your chest. Taehyung broke away from your pussy with great resistance to slap your ass.

“Jungkook- wait don’t cum yet.” He called out and you felt his fingers leave your asshole. You moved off him and Jungkook did the same pulling you down the bed towards him. He moved you to face Taehyung and you aligned yourself with his dick next, tapping the head of his shaft against your swollen clit. Soon you were teasing him grinding his length up and down your slit before you slid him inside of you. Leaning forward you paused wiggling your ass for Jungkook who slapped it and slammed inside of your asshole making sure you took all of him. Your body was filling so full and the most of pleasure you didn’t even think possible. Breathing deeply both males had stopped their hips and you knew what that meant. You started to pick yourself up and drop yourself down on their lengths together. Crying out for them your hands scratched down Taehyung’s chest as you took them both.

“Such a good fucking girl. Taking both dicks so well. Do you like how it feels to bounce on two cocks?” Jungkook asked pulling at your hair and you nodded your head looking up at him through watered eyes. “How much?” He asked moaning at how vulnerable you looked.

“I love everything about it. The burn and the pleasure. One dick alone is enough to make me see stars but two dicks fucking me is just like a cloud nine got high. I love both of your dick’s so much. I love being stretched out by you. I love when you both hold my hips down and fuck me so hard. I can’t even explain how much because it sounds like rambling and nonsense.” You admitted bouncing a bit harder on their lengths.

“Like this?” Taehyung asked referring to your question as he gripped onto your hips starting to slam you down as he thrust his hips upwards into your heat. He slammed you down on his and Jungkook’s dick and Jungkook followed suit slamming inside of you as well their balls touching as it smacked the space between your pussy and your asshole. You fell forward pressing your head on Taehyung’s chest crying out weakly. Your pussy was making lewd wet noises and you knew you were close. Jungkook reached his hand around to rub at your clit as he spilled his cum into your tight asshole letting his hips surge forward to bury his load inside of you. Your asshole and pussy tightened around them as your stomach clenched. The orgasm was creeping up on you, your body feeling the pleasure as you jerked your hips forward to ride Taehyung erratically. You came next with a loud cry of each name slumping forward as you continued to slam yourself down a few more times. Jungkook pulled out of you slowly and Taehyung tightened his grip on your hips slamming you down until he was milking you with his own cum. He held you down on top of him until he was sure everything was gone. You were gasping for air. The room feeling stuffy and sweaty the smell of sex lingering in the air. Jungkook lay beside Taehyung rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“What do you think Jungkook?” Taehyung asked after a few moments of silence and you peaked through your hair to peer at them both.

“I think she needs to work on her hips a little more.” Winking at you Jungkook picked you up off Taehyung’s length and slammed you lightly against the wall. “A round two and three should do the trick.”

Literally how I became happy.

A lot of you guys are always concerned about me because the more that I share, the more you realize I’m a real person with struggles and issues and I’m not 100% okay 100% of the time haha so I just wanna give an update and share some insight on how I’ve been doing and what I’ve been working on.
The hair cut is the visible part. The change is sooooo real. I look like a different person but I seriously FEEL like one. Surface changes: I live in Tennessee. I have short blonde hair. I’ve now dated two guys that I actually loved. I own a house and a car. Before, I lived in California, I had freaking long brown hair, I shared a mini van with four other people, I’d never been on a date and truly questioned whether I’d ever meet anyone that liked me for who I was, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life past like two years into the future and I felt like I would live with my parents forever. So a lot of big things have changed but honestly the biggest changes happened inside with less visible results. You can only see it in my smile and hear it in my words. But really you’ll see it in my actions over the next 12 months. It’s just the beginning.
I honestly don’t know where it came from. The last six years I have been so passive. My life has been happening to me. There have been some breakthrough moments where I learned a lot about myself and my confidence and self love, yes. I had some good times for sure. But as far as knowing what I want and where I wanna go, I was not good at that. I felt SO powerless and began to withdraw more and more, in my friendships, my career, our band, my family, everything. I shared so little each day, I had so few ideas, I didn’t create much, I only wrote when I was really upset or inspired (which wasn’t that often), I had no social life, no vision for myself, no confidence that anyone would ever love me and I just wasn’t living a rich life at all. I was an observer hoping that one day someone or something would come along and make my life actually enjoyable. I was constantly waiting. I journaled a lot and released a lot of emotion, that part was good. I just felt like I was living in a cave, stuck in the past, not doing much each day to actually experience life.
Then we moved across the country. *shock* *panic* *whoa*. That was the first time I was really shaken up.
Then I had my heart broken. Twice. I fell in love and both times it didn’t work out. I NEEDED that, to meet people who actually got me and appreciated my personality and loved all my quirks and my strange mind and how childlike I am. For the first time I felt understood. I wouldn’t change a thing. I was so closed off for so long and suddenly I was ripped open. Someone was asking for my time and attention and I had to give it to them. I was so scared but I really wanted to experience that side of life so I had to let those people see me and experience who I was. It was so good for me omg. I felt like my heart was shriveled and frozen before that, it had seen the sun maybe three times, but once that happened it absolutely bloomed. Not everyone has to fall in love to open their heart but for me that’s how it happened.
Anyway it was really intense and pushed me to the edge, dealing with that loss. I cut off all my hair. I just had enough. I was so drained. I had felt so vulnerable throughout my dating experiences, such a long period of trusting and hoping after so many years of doing the opposite, I guess I became a little over exposed. I pictured myself feeling tough and strong after a particularly intense weekend of fighting and I saw myself with no hair. It was kind of a crazy idea at first but it turned into a real desire. After a few days of thinking it over, I took the plunge.
What. A. Rush.
Suddenly I just wanted to feel alive. I went a little overboard but I did so many things. Concerts, road trips, bonfires, social plans nonstop, shopping, reinventing my style… I was really hurting during this time and I just wanted to feel better. I don’t regret doing so much but I’m glad I came down after a month and examined myself. I realized how much I was hurting and I faced it. I felt scared, hurt, abandoned, broken and vulnerable but it was comforting to identify that. Once you face it, you can feel it, release it and eventually let it go.
In October I realized I wanted more. I actually had dreams. Cutting my hair showed me I could have an idea, see it through and that it could actually go well! I wanted that on a bigger scale. I started writing again, all the time. I took an interest in my appearance again. Before, I just wanted people to think I’m pretty. Of course I still do but now it’s so much more than that. It actually is for me. When my outfit/makeup/overall look matches my mood, I feel so much more confident, comfortable with myself and ready to take on the day. Even in my work out clothes, I always try to coordinate them now and make them feel good because I know I just do more with my day when I feel confident and ready to put myself out there. You don’t need to look perfect AT ALL, in fact sometimes that can cause more stress because it puts more pressure on you. Just take the time to put yourself together and feel GOOD about what you’re wearing each day. It seriously makes a huge difference. And especially DO NOT wear anything that makes you feel bad. GET RID OF IT!!!! All your clothes should make you feel cute in some way.
Idk how this happened but I kind of just realized nothing is a big deal. The way I used to live, EVERYTHING was a HUGE deal. Texting a guy? Leaving the house? Spending 30 dollars? Calling someone first? All terrifying things I dreaded and avoided at all costs. I had to work through so much INTENSE anxiety when I first started dating, it was really sad how much that freaked me out and how much I had to work through just to get to a point where I felt comfortable going on one date or being the object of a man’s attention. I felt so incredibly unworthy.
Anyway, maybe it was the hair cut but sometime around then I just became really bold. Right now I feel like almost nothing scares me. My biggest fear is probably trusting people that have hurt me. That’s one thing I can think of that I’m struggling with and truly terrifies me, trying to rebuild broken relationships. I’m having help working through that. Other than that, there are so few things I won’t try, won’t pursue, won’t say to someone. I am becoming more bold, confident, comfortable in my own skin and sure of myself with each passing second. I just feel GOOD. Nothing is that big of a deal! Seriously force yourself to take more risks and you’ll quickly understand what I mean. You can spend weeks, months, even years fearing things and trying to predict what will happen but once you finally do them you’ll see just how unnecessary all that stress was. Nothing is that hard, that daunting, that permanent. Heck, even tattoos can be removed these days.
I think that was the biggest change of all so far: the removal of fear. Fear used to be the gas in my tank, it absolutely fueled me. Now it’s faith. I am so ON FIRE for my life!!!!!! I have so many exciting dreams I want to pursue, so much I want to create, so many places I want to go, things I want to experience, learn, master, people I want to meet and be around….. I love it all. I decide what I want and I go after it. I look at myself in the mirror and I smile. I’m starting to look as bold and unique as I feel. The long hair was beautiful and fun and maybe one day I’ll want it back but for now, it just feels too plain for how colorful and out of the box my mind is. I always used my mind a lot but I wasn’t exploring it much before. Now that I’m embracing my unconventional brain, I just want to express that openness and share it with the world.
Also I’ve noticed I’m getting disappointed comments from traditional, conformist men I never wanted to date anyway that used to love my hair 😂 so no offense but I was never interested in you anyway, there are soooooo many long haired women in the world you can comment on that you’ll probably never even meet but i’m just one less you need to worry about hahaha. All of the bold men that liked me before just like me more now. And I think it’s because I also like myself more! Confidence attracts confidence! I’m growing into the baller I was born to be and it’s just helping me attract more ballers 😂😂
BTW THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING LONG HAIR OR A MORE SIMPLE STYLE I FULLY SUPPORT IT. YOU DONT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON OR LIVE A WILD UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE TO BALL OUT ON EVERYONE THATS JUST HOW I CHOOSE TO DO IT HAHA. EVERYONE IS A BALLER IN THEIR OWN WAY I EMBRACE AVERAGE LOOKING PEOPLE AND WILD LOOKING PEOPLE, AS LONG AS YOURE LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE AND CHOOSING WHAT TRULY FULFILLS YOU!!!!!!!!!!! WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE JUST LIVE IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT 🙌🏼
Anyway, I feel so much more confident in myself, men or no men. It’s funny cuz I finally stopped worrying about guys and now I actually interact with them the way I always wanted to hahaha.
I no longer rely on the approval of others to get through the day. I no longer feel paralyzed by fear every morning and night. I no longer ponder whether I’m worthy of a date or not. I no longer look in the mirror and sigh. I no longer think of the future as a blurry grey blob filled with hopelessness, uncertainty and fear. I know it will be whatever I make it and I am going to make it freaking phenomenal.
That’s a huge key, putting YOURSELF in the drivers seat. Forget this message of victimization. You are the person holding yourself down but YOU can be the one to lift yourself up!!!! Wow I just got a huge craving for meat loaf and mashed potatoes. HAHAHA. Anyway, put yourself in control. Ask God for guidance. Trust that you are taken care of always because YOU ARE. Embrace yourself. Stop thinking you have to be perfect. Stop thinking you’re unlovable. Realize how cool you are and how much you have going for yourself. Jump in and try things. Stop thinking you have to be “ready”. THE LESSONS OF FAILURE ARE FAR MORE VALUABLE THAN THE PRIZES OF SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!
On that note, go kill it. Embrace yourself. Blossom. Live. Come alive. You got this 👊🏼💗

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The Real You (Joker x Chubby!Reader)

Requested by Anon: “I was wondering if you could pretty please write a fan fiction were the joker falls for a chubby reader, btw your amazing!!!!!”

A/N: I hope this is okay, I’ve never written anything like this before. So, I really hope its alright! 


You’re eyes scanned over the models thin bodies as you flipped through the pages of your magazine. You sighed, closing the magazine and shoved it away from yourself. Standing, you walked over to the large mirror that hung on the wall. Your hands ran over your figure, pinching at loose skin as a frown slowly rose to your features. Your eyes glanced over at the discarded magazine, the model on the cover posing in such a way that showed off her thin figure.

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