i just look in the mirror and feel it

anonymous asked:

hows your journey in your gender identity going?

It’s very weieieierrrd um
I get sad a lot because I’m not a guy even though I technically am sort-of one. I guess it’s because I’m not passing as a guy? Idk I just watch tv and see all these handsome guys and just wanna cry!!
But I’m happy with my short hair and I don’t wear a full face of makeup anymore so my face is boyish. Which makes me happy when I look in the mirror.
Im genderfluid and happy with that label. because I feel like a girl too sometimes.

Thank you for asking and being interested, it means a lot to me ❤️


I think that when it comes to how we see ourselves.. other people are really mean, but we’re really mean to ourselves.. and so it’s easy to get confused.. and when you do get confused, and you start feeling like you’re not special, or you’re not different, or you have nothing important to say.. we all feel like that sometimes. What I want you to do right now, if there’s one thing you remember from tonight, remember what I’m about to say. You need to look into the mirror in the morning and not tell yourself that you’re not special, or you’re not good enough, you’re not pretty, or you’re not awesome. You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn’t know you. You are not “damaged goods” just because you’ve made mistakes in your life. You are not going nowhere just because you haven’t gotten where you want to go yet. You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile. That’s what you are. (x)

veeraspookinen  asked:

okay cool... how 'bout you draw a pic of sestras with your non-dominant hand


I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE HOW THIS TURNED OUT I should do this more often :)

If You Support “Down With Cis”...

I’m revoking your membership to the trans exclusive country club effective immediately. You can have it back once you’ve learned to play nicely with others.

No, but seriously - if you’re trans and you don’t see the problem with “Down With Cis” then I question your authenticity. I question whether or not you’ve ever experienced prejudice because of a gender identity. Because if you had experienced that you would never do it to another person… if you really knew what that felt like, just the thought that someone else might be made to feel that way by something you did or said would make your stomach turn. How can you behave the same way as the people you hate and look at yourself in the mirror? How can you act like those who attack, belittle and degrade you and live with yourself?

If you support “Down With Cis” - I question your heart and your soul, because anyone who supports or participates in a movement built on blatant hatred is a person with too much hate in their heads and in their hearts… Anyone who cannot see the wrong and the sickness with DWC is someone who has lost contact with that part of their soul that tells them right from wrong. Stop behaving like animals and monsters and horrible people… we’re supposed to be better than that. We’re supposed to have learned from experience who not to become. 

heartbreak isn’t poetic. heartbreak is calling in sick every morning because you just can’t seem to get out of bed. heartbreak is sleeping 16 hours a day and finding ways to kill whatever is left of yourself whether it’s through drugs or self-inflicted remedies. heartbreak is wishing you could rip open your chest to freeze your heart just so you never have to feel it again. heartbreak is hopelessness, heartbreak is thinking to yourself, “fuck, I’m getting bad again.” heartbreak is looking in a mirror trying to find the flaws that made them leave you. heartbreak is wishing you could leave yourself

when u realize a tumblr hottie you thought was single has actually been in a stable relationship for years


I remember my ass use to literally hate myself, people would make fun of me everyday at school. At family reunions my uncles and cousins would tell me to “put some bass in my voice”… I even remember my own bus driver calling me fat Albert (looking back on it I should have whooped that hoe ass but I was like 6)…. Anyways I would always look into the mirror and point out every flaw I saw whether it was my dark skin (grew up in a white county) or my fat stomach(my mom food be banging), but then I learned something… BITCH IM CUTE ASF, AND I BEEN CUTE ASF…AND YOUR FATHER, HE THINK IM CUTE ASF…YOUU KNOW IM CUTE ASF BABY

Lol so moral of the story is if you feel like shit because you don’t fit societal norms, just remember bitch u is so fucking cute and nobody can take that flawlessness away from you as long as you always remember that you could pull anybody father and auntie cuz you that bitch💅🏽🎀 happy blackout y'all ◼️💖

They worst cry is when it’s late and your whole house is silent. And you want to scream. But you just sit there trying to catch your breath, tears falling down your cheeks. You try to be quiet. Your chest aches and you wish you could just be gone. You wish you could get rid of the pain. You don’t want to feel like this anymore. And you find yourself asleep after hours of this. And you have to wake up, look in the mirror, and put on that fake smile you’ve perfected.
—  m.a

This is me. From last year to now I have changed a lot. I’m starting to better understand myself and my gender. I used to have many friends who didn’t understand my gender. They’d say I was “making it up” or “is that even real?”. I remember sitting alone and crying because they couldn’t accept me or they couldn’t respect me for who I am. I’ve lost friends because they didn’t talk to trans people or didn’t make effort to respect me. It really affected me because I sometimes can’t look at myself in a mirror because of my chest. I still feel uncomfortable at times looking at it. Other times I see just me. A masculine Agender. Yes, that’s right masculine. Though I may wear makeup at times, it still doesn’t change my gender. I will not give it up because it’s “girly”. As I got to college I met people who really respected me and they’re so kind. I’ve made friend with people who are also nonbinary and can relate to me. I’m happy to have them in my life. They’ve made me more confident in who I am and I want to thank them. This summer I want to improve myself bodily wise and get the body that I want to feel even more confident in myself. To the people on here I have become friends with and also understand, I love you. You guys are awesome and I always enjoy chatting with you all from time to time. Hope you all have a great day.

Happy TDOV loves! ❤️💪🏽

~They/Them or He/Him


When the bae tells you that they low key love you.

[2x08] [3x06] [3x13]

In all seriousness, Hannibal elucidating the fact that love is too banal a word to describe how he feels about Will Graham is why I adore their relationship. Love simply doesn’t sum up how they feel about each other. This is a relationship of conflicting extremes, an adoration of the purest and most destructive order, the kind that is fuelled by the darkest and most potent of feelings, love and hate being just a few. Each moment of intimacy is preceded by some horrific act of violence, each hushed argument blurring the lines between threat and reverence, every look they give the other mirroring the same uncertainty and puzzlement as to exactly why they feel like this. Anyway. This wasn’t supposed to turn into a meta but hey ho. If you need me I’ll be in the nearest trash can.

Just “working out” is not enough.

I don’t care if you go to the gym once per week or 6x per week, it’s not just about “working out”– it’s about intention. You can go to the gym every freaking day and, each of those days, enter the gym with 10% focus. You can just go through the motions, stare at yourself in the mirror, text, take selfies, etc. That’s not a workout. Real “training,” to me, is about focus. You have to be present. 

Each movement, whether it’s a clean or a biceps curl, should be about focus. You have to think of your goals the entire time, whether it’s just to look better in your wedding dress, to kickass at your first powerlifting meet, or just to get in better shape.

I feel like a large percentage of gym goers are there without any focus or intention. They’re just there, with their minds in 20 other places, just so they can say they got their workout in for the day.

Well, it’s not enough if you want to achieve your goals. Come into the gym with laser focus. Obviously, this isn’t possible for every session. Some days, you’re just going to be exhausted, but you’re there anyway.

So many people I see at gyms these days spend more time dicking around and texting than they do actually lifting. Make a point to be more mindful in the gym. Create a plan for your workouts, and attack it. 


Pairings: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: You and Sebastian have been best friends since childhood. But as he confesses at Chelsea’s show that he has feelings for someone, you realize that he was so much more to you than just a best friend. Just pure fluff!

Words: 2k

A/N: This is just all around the place, but it was so so much fun to write. I mean talking about breeding frogs in a fluffy fic? Man, I’m rusted haha.

Originally posted by kittyseb

”Calm down,” you let out a soft laughter, as your fingers knotted easily Sebastian’s black tie. Stepping slightly further from him, you straightened his jacket, before nodding satisfyingly. “You are never nervous before your interviews so what’s the matter?”

“Y/N this is Chelsea Handler we are talking about,” the brunet man breathed out, concerned frown on his face as he walked to look at himself through a mirror. “You know that woman makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“Sebastian, she makes everyone feel uncomfortable,” you notified, your lips turned into amused smile. “That’s kinda her job you know.”

Keep reading


Sometimes when I look into the mirror,
I want to rip my fucking face off–
your mind is beautiful, they say.
I want to see the demons crawl
out and beg for death.
I want the monster beneath my
skin to stop hiding under my bed.
I want the beauty to fight the ugly–
give me the beautiful lie,
the terrible truth.
Sometimes when I think out loud,
I want my brain drowned,
not by thoughts,
but by flood.
I want the things we tell
ourselves– the words
we say to
feel better–
I just want it to be
real already.

tears were streaming down your face as you looked at yourself in the mirror. all you could see was a fat, ugly girl. fatty legs, fatty arms and a huge stomach. suddenly you heard step behind you and turned around. it was J and he looked at you, confused. “why are you crying y/n? did someone hurt you?” you shook your Head, quickly turning away from the mirror. but he wasn’t satisfied with that answer. “tell me. what is it.” J insisted and you sighed and started to talk, your voice still shaking. “it’s just… you being with all those other, beautiful and skinny girls.. I feel so worthless and fat and ugly next to them and..-” you wanted to go on, but he ended you abruptly with a rough kiss. “listen to me, very carefully.” he said, slowly and demanding. “I want you to know one thing. those whores you see me everyday with? they don’t mean anything to me. get it, doll face?” slowly his Hands travel down to your shirt, touching your hot skin with his cold fingertips. you shivered. “your body…” he began, standing so close to you that you cold feel his warm breath. “is the most desirable thing in the whole world for me.” he ripped off your shirt, his hands exploring every inch of your bare skin. you bit your lips, only looking at his hands drive you crazy. “and God bless your tits.” he growled, after he had opened your bra. “believe me baby, you are so sexy the way you are.” then he pulled you in a rough kiss, which you replied even rougher.


A little something on clothes! This is just something I’ve learned from studying fashion and clothing for the past 3 years. It’s not perfect but it’s something!

Probably the most important thing that helps you draw clothes is to wear what you want to draw and go in front of a mirror and just look really closely how it folds and how gravity affects the fabric!

Feel free to ask me if you have any questions or want tips for a specific piece of clothing! I’ll do my best to help!!

I can’t believe I’m posting. I never thought I’d have the confidence. I feel sick with nerves but if I can help just one lady feel better it is worth it. This does not mean I have no respect for myself.

Day to day I see girls with wonderful bodies posing in next to nothing, and see mums with wonderful bodies. I find myself feeling so low, wondering ‘why can’t my body look like that?’

Day to day I see mums looking beautiful and wonder how on earth they did it. But I realise that we don’t see mums like me because so many of them feel upset about their bodies.

I bought a new top today and looking in the mirror trying it on I didn’t feel upset, or embarrassed. I felt beautiful. This is a big thing for me as I also suffer with suspected body dysmorphia… And depression which generally makes you feel shit about yourself. So I had to take a picture. I thought my legs looked beautiful, my thighs… And then for once, my stomach. The stomach which was home to my beautiful daughter for nine months. The stomach which made her and conceived her. And the stomach which houses my iron liver, after all I’ve put it through.

Why am I posting this? Because girls, it has took me a long time to get to a point where I felt beautiful. It actually gave me tears in my eyes because after being teared down all my life, bullied about my mental condition, my looks, being hurt by men, I never thought I’d look in the mirror and think 'actually you aren’t half bad at all!’

All women are built in different shapes and sizes. Our bodies go through alsorts day in day out. We are all beautiful no matter how many scars we have, how many stories our body shows. Love your body, you only get one. You are a warrior, and if I can love myself so can you.

I can finally say I am a 'yummy mummy’ and I am proud.

November 2011 - October 2016

The photo on the left was one of my darkest times. I packed my backpack and went to my grandmas for the day. I packed a wig, a large t shirt, ace bandage, a pair of shorts and a hat. Just DRESSING as a male, gave me more comfort than you could even imagine. I thought nothing would ever progress and my transition would be a fantasy. Five years later, here I am looking at myself in the same mirror. Over two years on hormones, almost a year post op and feeling grateful that every time I tried to take my life, I failed.