i just like using russian okay

ok so I know we're​ all really sold on the ‘neil and andrew learn russian’ headcanon, but I take that and raise you this: neil and andrew learn sign language

  • it totally makes sense ok
  • hear me out
  • they learn asl (or maybe pse just because its easier)
  • it works for times when they can’t speak
  • when neil has nightmares and can’t get his voice to work
  • or when they’d rather be quiet but still talk to each other
  • just signing yes and no without having to speak
  • but also
  • andreil would totally just use it to their advantage
  • signing to each other from long distances
  • or signing things like you okay? slyly so know one can see
  • andrew signing something like I’m gonna kill him when nicky starts rambling
  • neil just rolling his eyes and signing no without stopping the conversation with the rest of the foxes
  • neil making a risky shot during a game and turning to give andrew a smirk
  • andrew only replies with the sign for addict (i.e junky)
  • kevin really wanting to learn because he thinks it could be useful on the court
  • andrew teaches him the completely wrong signs for amusement
  • andrew would totally just sign rapidly at reporters when they ask him questions to confuse them and then walk away
  • trust me people get flustered if you start randomly signing at them
  • neil likes it because it improves his dexterity and hand-eye coordination
  • junky
  • andrew, in english: “shut up, josten”
  • neil, snarkily, in sign language: make me

anonymous asked:

Okay this is super random (and not technically fan fiction) but if yuri on ice was a live action show, who would you want to play the main characters? I know this is random and not related (but technically it's fan fiction-y related) however I'm curious what you think!!

(This is going to be a REALLY long post, sorry hahaha)
I LOVE this question! I’m only going to put actors/models on here, but I do know many skaters who would be amazing as well! (Yuzuru Hanyu, Michael Christian Martinez, Evgeni Plushenko are a few! I could make another list for that if you’d like!) 

Yuuri Katsuki: Kento Yamazaki

(Japanese actor)



So cute!!


Kento Yamazaki + Flowers = 😍

When I watched YOI, this is who I thought of instantly (besides Yuzuru Hanyu, of course!)

Victor Nikiforov: Vasiliy Stepanov 

(Russian Actor)

(I know Kubo said she used John Cameron Mitchell as a visual reference and I think he’d be awesome as Victor, but I also think that this actor would be great as well! And I know what you’re thinking, “Hailey this doesn’t look like Victor!” I KNOW!! Victor is too perfect to be compared to any mere mortal, BUT hear me out! Imagine this man with the platinum hair, swoopy bangs, and straight eyebrows… *dies* 😍)



I’ll just leave this here… 😍


Yuri Plisetsky: Emil Andersson 

(I couldn’t find anyone younger, so just imagine this is an aged-up Yurio haha)

The hair!

Look at that expression! Is this Emil or moody Yurio???

Minako Okukawa: Yukie Nakama

(Japanese actress, singer and former idol)

She’s beautiful!

Christophe Giacometti: Gaspard Ulliel

(French Actor)

The green eyes! The scruff!! I’m in love!!!


Phichit Chulanont: Jirayu La-Ongmanee

(Thai actor)



He needs to be protected at all costs!!! 💙

Mila Babiceva: Natalya Rudakova

(Russian-American actress)

She looks exactly like Mila??? I’m SHOOK

Jean-Jacques Leroy: Brant Daugherty

(American Actor)

The eyebrows… the eyes!

Yuuko Nishigori: Saki Aibu

(Japanese Actress)

So pretty!

Otabek Altin: Sanzhar Madiyev

(Kazakhstani Actor)

Just shave off the ‘stache and he’s Otabek!

Those are my picks, what are yours? Let me know in the replies!

What’s up, it’s Alexei!

When Ngozi posted this picture yesterday of young post-draft Tater “trying his darnedest to answer press questions in English,” I thought, “You know, I could make a play fic out of that.” Which is what led to the following 2700+ words about Tater and his ESL tutor.

Many, many thanks to @ktheunready for being my Russian authenticity consultant and beta!

Georgia Martin stood at the back of the media scrum and watched Alexei Mashkov stumble his way through his post-draft interview, saw the way his fingers kneaded the brim of the brand-new Falconers’ cap he’d been handed for the initial official photos, saw the way his eyes widened and stayed intently glued to whoever was asking him a question, like he was afraid he’d miss some key bit of meaning if he blinked.

She pulled out her phone and made a call.


«No, Mama, I promise, my room is very nice. The family is very nice. Everything is very…»

«Let me guess, nice? »

Alexei sighed. «Yes.»

«You know I don’t doubt you, right, Alyosha? I’m not worried you can’t do this. You will be fine. But I know this is your first time to live in another country, with none of the boys from your teams here. It can be… hard, sometimes. I know.»

«Yeah, Mama, I know. You told me.»

«Are you telling me you’ve heard the stories of my youth too many times?» she asked in mock outrage.

«No, no!» he laughed. «Of course not.»

«Good. I should think not.» He could picture her face exactly, and it made him smile. «I’m glad your host family seems nice, Alyosha. I’m sure you will have many friends in no time.»

He flopped back on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. «I hope so.»

«We’ll talk again soon. Love you, son.»

«Love you, too.»

He hung up and let his phone rest on his chest. He’d been to America before. He’d thought he’d known what it would be like, that it wouldn’t be so bad. Different, yes, but there would be so many interesting new things to see, and new teammates, and he certainly knew how to play hockey. What he had failed to take into account, apparently, was how exhausting it was to try to function in English all day. For a US hockey team, the Falconers’ roster was shockingly low on Russian players, so his host family was one of the French Canadian ones. To their credit, they did speak some Russian, but it was hardly enough to have a real conversation. Alexei felt like he’d been practically mute all day.

Keep reading

God but since Victor is there at World Team Trophy as a coach, as he’s clearly not skating (not only is he not in skates, but there are already two Russian men there), does that mean he’s with Team Japan? Because I’m like… laughing at the thought. 

Russian skate fam being like oh my god are you serious but lol w/e. Georgi thinks it’s romantic. 

Victor is just like ‘I’m here for my fiance student who happens to be Japanese okay.’ And really it isn’t much more than that (of course he’s with Yuuri!), but  Victor keeps appearing in the Team Japan pictures (because as we see in the series, Victor hangs out with the other skaters, not the coaches, which makes sense as they’re much closer to his age) on instagram and twitter and shit and the Russian Skate Federation is like ‘Victor Nikiforov, despite not actually competing, remains maddening to us.’ 

Capable (Chapter 5) NSFW

Chapter 1               Chapter 2                Chapter 3               Chapter 4 (NSFW)

Originally posted by indiastokeruniverse

Bucky Barnes x mutant!Reader

Summary: You were kidnapped by Hydra 10 years ago but now you’re free. You find yourself at the Avengers Tower while you recover and readjust to real life.

Warnings: language (moderate), smut, choking kink, sir kink, russian (Котенок = kitten), oral

A/N: So turns out I’m gonna go hang out with a friend tomorrow which mean sI won’t really be able to post so I decided to finish this tonight. Alsooooo, I lied. I thought I was going to do two more chapters but I think this is going to be the last one. I tried to not make this smut but it didn’t work so have fun. ;) Also I feel like this one is long as fuck, sorry?

Keep reading

fic: you know you’re supposed to keep it (parse/tater, past discussed jack/parse)

@des-zimbits wanted “fic where Tater tells Kent that Jack has a boyfriend he’s joyously in love with and telling his team about/introducing them to, and then Kent and Tater process the news and what it might mean for them?” and I thought… if Tater was so sure about Jack having a girlfriend earlier (obviously that could’ve been for show but go with me here), then that’d mean he and Kent are together but he still doesn’t know about Jack in Kent’s past… and then this story happened. Probably both more angsty and more about Jack/Parse than the prompt.

secrets you keep for so long they become a part of you

warnings: not sure of more exact tags, but Parse’s mental landscape is a Mess.  //  ~2k, also here on ao3.

“You never guess what Zimmboni just told me,” Tater says as soon as Kent opens up his Skype request. It’s funny: for years any mention of Jack would’ve stolen his attention, but right now all he can think about is his boyfriend, and how he fills up any space he’s in so attractively with his boundless energy. He’s bouncing on his bed right now, making the camera of his laptop jump, and Kent aches to be there, to feel that enthusiasm. He curses the length of almost two months that are marked out on both of their calendars until they’ll be able to see each other again.

Keep reading

If You Only Knew




“What the fuck do you mean ‘You don’t know’, Cas?!” Sam roared, one huge hand sweeping across his desk to send nearly everything on it flying.

Cas and Sofia both cringed away from his wrath.

“Somebody fucking answer me!” he screamed, his face turning red with his anger. A muscle in his jaw twitched and he turned a hateful stare to Sofia when she cleared her throat.

“Sam, we had no choice. We had to get the shipment out of there! I thought she was right behind us I swe-”

Keep reading

i was just wondering why they used that take of kai speaking russian with ruki and uruha trying not to laugh and then i thought

what if they tried to take it like 25 times before that but they kept bursting out laughing and then they were like ‘okay fuck it this is the last time we’re doing this’ and that was the best they could get

RFA(+V and Saeran) reacting to gamer!MC


° we all know that he is a gamer too

° so the more interesting question is, who is the better one?

° regarding LOLOL it´s a matter of fact that he won

° don´t mess with the No. 2 on the Shootingstar-Server

° but there are other games too

° so one day, you were tried of loosing to him, you decided to battle him in Mario Party

° yes MC is a Little Nintendo child

° you brought your Wii over to his place and by the time he noticed your presence you already finished plugging everything in

° “Hi MC why did you bring your Wii over?”

° “I´m tried of you always beating me so today we´ll Play a game of my choice.”

° before he could do or say anything else you already put the Controller inside of him

° he surrendered after only two minigames

° because he was only ever with mouse and keyboardhe was completly lost

° “MC, please let´s stop this.”

° “No, I are GOD!!!” Kira is that you?

° he was at the edge of tears

° “MC please. I admit I lost and you won but please stop being so scary!” ( ˃̩̩⌂˂̩̩ )

° yes, he was crying and yes, it was your fault

° great Job MC..

° “I´m glad you can admit a defeat, honey. I´m going to prepare dinner now. love you.”(´∀`)♡

° you left him Standing there looking like someone who got hit by a blue shell in Mario cart  」( ̄▽ ̄」)


° whenever she was away for work you felt lonly in the house

° well, someone has to earn money

° so you found yourself a hobby you could do from your couch

° you bought yourself a Playstation and a couple games

°  the games you enjoyed most were RPGs/JRPGs

° and this MC plays these games to 100%

° who?Me?

° but turning everything on ond off again was just tooo bothersome

° so why not play 24/7 instead?

° that also meant no sleep fro the time being

° Jaehee was away on a buisness trip with Jumin (the closest she´ll ever get to a vacation XD)

° you were at home, playing The Legends of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel

° btw I love that game

° when she returned you were fighting the last boss (for the 4th time or so)

° “MC, what are you doing there?”

° “Playing some games.”

° u don´t say MC

° “And for how Long have you been playing?”

° from your current state she could tell it was quite some time..

° “Dunno, wich day is it?”

° “DAY??!”

° “MC get off the Couch, under the shower and when you´re finished we talk about your game-addiction!” ༼ つ °  ʖ ° ༽つ

° that marked the endof your hobby and you had to find a new one (maybe like painting?)

° poor MC !! ( ≧Д≦)


° he often took you with him to his rehersals

° but since there wasn´t much to do for you, you had to find something to occupy yourself

° good thing you brought your Nintendo and a few games to play with you(*^▽^*)

° these were mostly Jump´n´Run but whatever

° but you were a very…… passionate player

° “You stupid Gumba, go die somwhere else!”

° “Bowser, you Bastard go fuck your turtle wife or something!”

° you were banned from the rehersal

° so what to do now?

° simple: go home, eat a snack and continue gaming

° I´m so proud of you MC!

° Zen´s rehersal took a lot longer than usual thanks to a certain someone, wich caused him to come back at 4AM

° he went into the bedroom only to be greeted by the dimm lights of your console

° “MC are you still playing those games?”

° “Yeah.”

° “Please go to bed and finish it tomorrow.”

° you did but this behaviour of yours stayed for the next few weeks

° get up at 12AM, game till 5AM and then sleep again

° simple life, no problems

° at some point Zen had enough of this

° but every time he took your game away from you, you had it back in no time

° he even went as far as asking Seven to hack that stupid Thing in order for you to stop

° but he said no (⌣_⌣”)

° so he did the last thinghe could think of and unleashed the BEAST

° he came in the bedroom to find you once again playing a game and cursing like hell

° oh, did I mention that he was naked?

° “MC, you have to choose now. me or the games?”

° “Zen, why do you say such stu-”

° you looked up

° then you threw your console away

° the beast won once again(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و


° at some point he gave in and admitted that it was kind of boring to just sit in the penthouse the whole day

° he let you bring your old X-Box over and you got your own playroom

° yes, playroom, with an X-Box XD

° but when he heard you complaining that there were games you couldn´t Play with the old one he got you a new one

° and a Playstation

° this room beacme your new favourite room besides the bedroom ( ° ʖ °)

° he was glad there was a Thing you enjoyed that much and if you gave even the smallest hint on wnating a new game…

° you got it 3 days before release

° but sooner or later he had to set an end to this

° more or less because you gave those games more attention than him

° when you didn´t evengreet him properly anymore and slept in this Rom he decided it had to be done sooner rather than later

° he was more clever than Zen and didn´t take your stuff away

° he was sneaky

° he was clever

° he was Jumin Han

° and this Jumin Han would make you yourself get tried of these games

° the more games you got, the less fun it was playing

° you played but didn´t felt this satisfying feeling anymore

° so you tryed something new: getting Jumin to play with you

° “Come on Jumin, just one round. Pleeeaaase!!”

° “Okay but than we´ll go to bed. Promise?”

° “Sure.”

° your smile already paid off the soon to be followed torture in his eyes

° you endedn up playing till 1 AM (・_・ヾ

° Jumin discoverd the joy of gamin and enden up int he same hell as you

° but he coulden´t skip wrk and you didn´t want to Play alone anymore

° you made an agreement: no more playing alone for the both of you

° mission succeded, well kinda


° he didn´t play for fun

° he played to make little children Yoosung cry

° mostly aggro-kiddies in CS:Go

° one day you played a chilled Little round of CS:Go with your friends when you heard the two trigger words

° cyka blyat, rush B

° These words were enough to make you go in rage-mode

° you screamed the only Insults in russian that you knew as loud as you could into your headset

° if you want to know russian insults just google them xD

° after your screaming ended yuo heard somthing fall onto the ground

° it sounded like a human..

° “Seven are you okay?”

° “I am but please don´t scream like that in the microphone.”

° he got of the ground and sat down in his chair once again

° you wondered how loud you screamed that he even fell of the chair

° MC. please use your brain

° you turned around to leave the room and then you saw it

° right on his screen

° it looked like he was in the middle of a CS:Go game, nothing Special but then you saw with who he played

° “ Saeyoung….”

° he looked Kind of confused as if he asked himself what he did wrong this time

° “I brought out the trash, MC!”

° “The only trash to throw out is this cyka sitting infront of me!”

° he catched on, but unfortunately too slow

° “You know how much I hate these damn trolls who aren´t even from russian to begin with.All they ever want is to bother others!!”

° “MC, please calm down!”

° poor Seven, you kept lecturing him for about 2 hours …

° but hey, after that you became the best troll-couple in every online game <3


° he didn´t care much about games

° mostly because he´s almost blind

° so he didn´t really cared either that you were a very passionate player

° what should he do against it anyway….

° he often sat beside you when you played another game and you kept telling him what happend

° “MC, why did you kill those harpys?”

° “Because they attacked me.” 

° “MC, why did you die?”

° Because I didn´t kill the harpys this time.”

° Mc, why-”

° you had enough of this

° a question every 5 seconds was just too much to handle for you

° think about her concentration V

° “V, please stop asking such obvious stuff. I can´t concentrate when you Keep distracting me.”

° “Oh, okay I´ll Keep quiet from now on.”

° he did

° for about 2 minutes than it started all again

° “MC, why did you kill them?”

° enough is enough

° you turned off everything and went to the kitchen to get something to drink

° “MC, why did you stop?”

° “Because I somehow lost the joy in playing.”

° thank you V

° from now on you only played when he wasn´t around which was almost never but still better than being bothered nonstop


° since Seven had a far to big TV-Screen, why not enjoy your favourite game on it?

° soon you had plugged everything in and stared fascinated at the Screen

° on said Screen you saw the fictional love of your life : Geralt of Riva (●♡∀♡)

° pls Geralt marry me

° playing Witcher made you frget about time and simply enjoy a great game

° but you also forgot about the non-fictional love of your life: Saeran

° he didn´t like that suprise

° you promised to go and buy ice cream with him and now?

° all you cared about was the stupid game, where a man was riding some horse and killing Monsters

° you didn´t know he was watching you so Yous aid the words that led to your death sentence

° “Geralt, I love you!”

° “MC we have to talk !”

° fuck, he was here

° “Saeran, I didn´t know you were here..”

° he looked pissed

° really pissed

° “MC, first you forget our ice.cream date and then you just say I love You to a fictional character

° “Saeran he is nothing more than that to me, fictional.Don´t take it like that you know you´re the only one for me.”

° “You know you have to make up for it right?”

° “I know.”

° so you payed for ice-cream and some snacks

° you had to take the console back to wherever it was before and apologized a million times to Saeran

° you were so exhauted at some point you just fell asleep on Saeran´s shoulder

° he wouldn´t admit it but as he heard you mumble something about him being the only one for you….

° he forgave you <3

That´s it for this one, I hope you love Geralt as much as I do and also enjoyed reading.  o(^▽^)o

If you did, leave alike or a comment, that makes me as happy as getting a shiny Mew XD

Also if you have some requests or whatever don´t hesitate and send it to me      o(≧∇≦o)

anonymous asked:

Hi Bee! Could you do a college sidgeno AU? Like I just imagine cute nerdy sid taking a Russian studies class and being upset that the Russian kid in his class is ruining the curve because of course he knows all of the events

“It’s not fair,” Sid grouses, even as ‘Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin–but call me Geno–no, call me Zhenya’ kisses his cheek and noses at his nape. “You know everything and you’re ruining it for the rest of us.”

“Ruin?” Zhenya pauses, then rolls his eyes. “You think I’m from Russia, I born knowing all names of Tsar? Okay, Sid. Tell you secret. Ivan Vasilyevich? His middle name Patrick. Patrick Bob. Only real Russian know this secret, and now I tell you. You real Russian now.”

“I hate you.”

“Maybe you cousins with Tsar Patrick Bob.”

Sid whines in annoyance, but the rest of it is drowned out when Zhenya’s kisses reach the corner of Sid’s mouth. 

Chekov Headcanons

Wow a lot of you guys wanted these, this is probably a one time thing, but you never know. For @starsaremyocean, don’t worry, I got you!

- Everyone, and I mean everyone on the enterprise knows Chekov likes you. He is always staring at you, smiling when you get excited and Sulu is the first to call him out on it.

- Kirk totally makes comments, especially at really innappropiate times.
Enemy ship about to blow up enterprise, “Hey Chek did you sleep well last night?????”
Core is dead (again) and they are free falling in space (again): “Chek could you stop staring and actually do something??”
Someone was just murdered on the ship, there’s a chance the world could blow up: “So Y/n huh??”

And the whole time Chekov is about to die, because you hear everything.

- Okay Chekov is kinda a horny bastard so I mean him showing up at your door at ungodly hours is not uncommon.

- You guys have actually been a thing since Uhura told Spock about it and Spock well…kinda told you…he thought he was helping. (even though you knew, Sulu told you last week)

- Kirk tries to give Dad TalksTM to the both of you and are soooo awkward.
“Make sure to use pro–”

- Lmao one day Chekov walks onto the bridge late, covered in hickeys and omg Bones just kinda is there like “???????? When did this happen? So pure. no!”
Tbh I feel like Bones would be the last to notice you two had a thing going, but would always be the first to say something.

- (NSFW) He speak in Russian when he goes down on you, and oh lord…
He really likes kisses when you got at, and he prefers getting hickeys. But there have been days when you’re covered in them, Uhura nudges you like, “Get it girl!”
He has really high pitched moans and they are kinda adorable
Also swears in Russian…a lot…
Chekov’s very interchangeable, some days he’s a dom, other days he’s a sub.
Honestly the boy likes sex, so he doesn’t really care what’s happening.

- Lots and lots of making out.
You could be walking somewhere then he’ll just grab you, pull you into the closest room.
You both aren’t big on PDA only because everyone makes comments. Even hand holding, Spock is screaming about rules and you there like “You??? literally??? eat??? Uhura’s???? face???? before??? beamng out????" 
You almost (always) get caught making out. poor Scotty.

- He really likes always just touching you in some way
Chekov will always have a hand on you, shoulders touching when you sit, omg boy loves when you sit on his lap. ;)
He also likes when you play with his hair, lol the noises he makes.
And cuddling, so much cuddling.

Okay I could go on forever, so I’m going to stop myself here. I have exposed my deep love for Chekov…whelp!

gandoilfo  asked:

Okay i might have seen your post about Russians cussing and i might have a high need to ask for some exemples X)

HAHAHA OKAY I AM ALWAYS READY TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT RUSSIAN CUSSES! It’s actually quite interesting from the linguistics side!

I did a very quick research and here’s what I found: 

Russian cusses are pretty much countless, but most of them spring from some basic roots (there are many more roots though, but this post is long enough already). The numbers are different, I’m just gonna choose the most widespread ones, thus the four officially forbidden by Russian government to be used by mass media. 

!Almost all of these are HIGHLY OFFENSIVE, many of them much more offensive than a simple “fuck” and to be used only with very familiar people who are okay with that! Russian teenagers cuss a lot, like, A WHOLE LOT, but more or less decent ones try to not do it in front of the adults. Adults cuss as well, but usually not at work (or at least so that no one would hear them). But if you commute a lot, then during the day you’re bound to hear people cussing quite often. I’m a high school senior, and children in primary school started cussing much more recently, those little fucktards. Like I said, there words are used only when the people that allowed to hear it and okay with it are around; on the street passerby won’t pay as much attention, but it’s really not recommended (although everyone’s just used to it that much I guess). 

Words marked like this* are subject to change depending on the sentence structure (even though in Russian you can insert cuss words almost everywhere, you should still be aware of what you’re doing lol).

1) Хуй (hUi) — male reproductive organ. Expressions (more examples here): 

• хуй тебе/соси хуй (hUi tebe/sosI hUi) — fuck no;
• иди/пошел* нахуй (idi/pashOl nAhui) — fuck you;
• хуй с тобой (hUi s tabOi) — couldn’t fucking care less;
• нихуя себе (nihuYA sebE) — holy fucking shit;
• нахуя? (nahuYA?) — why the fuck (asking for a reason)?
• с хуя ли? (s huYA li?) — why the fuck is that (objection);
• хуйня (huinYA) — fucking shit (a noun that can mean literally anything you want it to mean — something easy, something bad, something strange);
• что за хуйня?/какого хуя? (shto za huinYA?/kakOva hUya?) — what the fuck?
• охуевший* (ohuiEfshii) — a fucktard who’s too bold;
• охуенно/охуительно (ohuiEnno/ohuEEtel’no) — fucking awesome;
• дохуя/хуева туча (dohuYA/hUyeva tOOcha) — a whole fucking lot/a shit ton;
• нет нихуя (net nihuYA) — there’s fucking nothing;
• хуеплет (huyeplYOt) — liar;
• хуесос (huyesOs) — a very bad person;
• хуета/хуетень (huyetA/huyetEn’) — nonsense, rubbish;
• нехуй (nEhui) — don’t fucking dare;
• похуй (pOhui) — doesn’t fucking matter (there’s a noun pohuIzm — a state when you just don’t care, and it’s lighter version, which isn’t a cuss: pofigIzm);
• and then a whole lot of verbs, I’m only gonna mention a few: выхуярить (vIhuyarit’) — make someone crack, shake something out; вхуярить(ся) (vhuYAritsa) — to hit, to insert, to get into trouble; дохуярить (dohuYArit’) — to finish something; дохуяриваться (dohuYArivatsa) — to annoy, to bug; захуярить (zahuYArit’) — to punch, to make; нахуярить (nahuYArit’) — to make a lot of something; отхуярить (othuYArit’) — to beat up badly; прихуярить (prihuYArit’) — to attach; расхуярить (rashuYArit’) — to destroy.

2) Пизда (pizdA) — female reproductive organ. Examples (more examples here):

• пиздец (pizdEts) — everything’s bad and over/something really cool, very commonly used;
• пиздёж (pizdYOsh) — lies/twaddle;
• пиздобол/пиздун (pizdabOl/pizdUn) — liar;
• дать пиздюлей (dat’ pizdul’Ei) — give an earful; comeuppance;
• пиздюк* (pizdYUk) — literally anything you want it to mean it means, but has a slightly lighter undertone, so not usually used to describe really bad people;
• пиздеть* (pizdet’) — once again, whatever you want it to mean, but often to lie or to talk mindlessly;
• распиздяй (raspizdYAi) — frivolous, unreliable person;
• пиздато (pizdAto) — fucking awesome, and adjective from this is пиздатый (pizdAtii);
• once again, a shit ton of verbs: впиздить (fpIzdit’) — to beat up; допиздеться (dopizdEtsa) — to talk yourself into something bad; пиздануться (pizdanUtsa) — to fall/get hit, to go nuts; пиздеть (pizdEt’) — to lie; пиздить (pIzdit’) — to beat up; спиздить (spIzdit’) — to steal.

3) Ебать(ся) (yebAt’(sa)) — predominantly about having a coitus. Examples (more here):

• ебать* (yebAt’) — a shit ton of various meanings, usually to annoy, to fuck, to beat up;
• ебать! (yebAt’) — holy fucking shit!
• ёбнуть (YObnut’) — to hit;
• ёбнутый* (YObnutyi) — a crazy person;
• ебальник/ебало/ебло* (yebAl’nik/yebAlo/yeblO) — a face;
• ёбнуться* (YObnutsa) — to fall, to get hit;
• выёбываться* (viYObyvatsa) — to show off;
• долбоёб* (dolboYOp) — an annoying someone (could be knocking a lot, like a neighbor);
• заебись (zayebIs’) — fucking awesome;
• заебать/доебать* (zayebAt’/doyebAt’) — to make someone really annoyed after doing something for a long while;
• наебать* (nayebAt’) — to deceive;
• подъебать* (podyebAt’) — to make fun of;
• уёбище* (uYObische) — someone really ugly, a loser;
• съёбывать* (sYObyvat’) — go away;
• еблан/уёбок* (yeblAn/uYObok) — a really bad person;
• ебучий* (yebUchii) — really annoying;
• проебать* (proyebAt’) — to miss/lose something, a thing or an opportunity.
• there are so many verbs with this one I’m not even gonna try listing them, I’ve already used the most common ones.

4) Блядь (blYAt’) — usually meant a whore, bitch, slut. Examples with this one are more limited, cause it’s not subject to change that much. However it is used VERy often, especially its original form, and can be inserted almost anywhere in speech. 

• блядь! (blYAt’!) — can be used to describe literally any state of being (or just a person): distress, disappointment, frustration, surprise, shock, cheer, happiness and so on.
• блядский* (blYAtskii) — an adjective from the first one, that can also be used in almost any meaning you can come up with (although preferable a negative one in this case).

If you have any more questions/want to know something else — feel free to ask! :D i spent over an hour on this what am i doing with my life my browser history is a mess

abundantsleeplessnights  asked:

What were the main events of WW1?

Hello! Here’s WWI in a nutshell:

  • Causes: militarism, cross-continental alliances, imperialism in Africa, nationalism at home.
  • There’s another crisis in the Balkans, and tensions are running high among the different Slavic groups. A Bosnian extremist, Gavrilo Princip, shot the Archduke Franz Ferdinand while working for the Serbian terrorist organization Black Hand. Austria wants to declare war on Serbia.
  • Austria asks Germany for backup. Germany says do whatever the fuck you want, here’s a blank check, meaning no matter how much shit you fuck up, we’ll help you.
  • Austria waits until the French president is out of Russia (he was visiting on diplomatic terms, but you don’t want the guy parked on your Western border suddenly teaming up with the guy parked on your Eastern border. Remember, communication took a while back then - if the French president is all the way in France, chances are low that they’ll be able to respond in time.) and then they send an ultimatum to Serbia.
  • Their demands are too extreme and Serbia is forced to reject them.
  • Austria declares war on Serbia and hopes to God they are declaring war only on Serbia.
  • Nicholas II is like wow, Russians are Slavic, and wow, Serbs are Slavic, so wow, maybe I should help. Can I mobilize just half of my army?
  • Generals say no, it’s all or nothing.
  • Nick says okay let’s just send our entire military to protect this tiny Slavic nation.
  • Germany is like wow okay stop in the next 12 hours or face Premium Ass Kicking ™
  • The Russians don’t.
  • War
  • Germany knows that France and Russia are buds and assumes France is probably mobilizing at this point so they come up with the Schlieffen Plan, that diverts more troops to attacking France than fighting off the Russians.
  • Germany’s like let’s just redeploy to the other side once we’re done kicking French ass
  • Germany needs to march through Belgium
  • “Let us march, Belgium”
  • “But I’m supposed to be neutral-”
  • Britain is sitting quietly, then they see that someone has marched through Belgium.
  • August 4th, Britain goes to war on the side of France and Russia.
  • The French and Germans have machine guns and shovels. Trench warfare. Everyone’s getting mowed down. It’s hideous. Probably most bloody war in European history is the Western front. Don’t read books about it. They’re more depressing than Marley & Me. And that was a fucking depressing movie.
  • Germany and Austria beat the living shit out of Russia until it almost can’t fight anymore because of the number of casualties they suffered.
  • Russia runs away but Serbia’s ass is thoroughly destroyed.
  • Battle of Verdun on the Western front, 600k killed.
  • Germans redirect focus to Western front.
  • Ugly, ugly war
  • Ugly
  • British colonizers in Arabia convince everyone to revolt against the Ottomans, so on a side note, the Ottoman empire dies. ottomans like
  • Battles in Africa because of colonization, wonderful
  • Japan joins so that it can have England and France’s stuff in East Asia?? okay
  • So the British blockade on Germany stops the Americans from shipping & selling shit which, as we all know, is all the US likes to do, so now they’re pissed too because they want to sell their shit
  • The Germans start submarine warfare thinking the Americans won’t give a shit
  • The Americans are angry about not selling shit and also they are friends with Britain, so they declare war in 1917
  • Britain is starting to sweat, Ministry of Munitions under David Lloyd George mobilizes like everything to make sure they still have artillery
  • France puts Georges Clemenceau up to bat.
  • German ass begins to get kicked
  • All the men are fighting and dying so now women get to do stuff
  • America - 19th amendment, thanks ladies
  • Nicholas II starts having internal problems, March Revolution and April Theses
  • Things really go to shit
  • Bolshevik Revolution
  • Treaty of Brest-Litovsk between Russia and Germany
  • Russian Civil War
  • Armistice in 1918 on the Western front
  • Treaty of Versailles signed
  • League of Nations

I hope this helps! Let me know if you need anything else.


The History Geek

Ahhh, I love this!!! Your writing style is so amazing, honestly
Quick question though: What’s the nickname that Bucky calls Tony? Zhelezoska

It sounds like Zoloshka, which is the Russian word for Cinderella, so I’m just wondering if that’s what your plan was?

My nephew came up with it; he says (keeping in mind that he’s a. 13 years old and b. Russian is his third language… he’s Ukrainian by birth.) that it’s a cutesy version of “little iron man”

I personally just like the way it sounds rolling off the tongue, so we went with it :D

Oh! Cause zheleznoy would mean ‘made of iron,’ okay I got it now. Russian is my first language but since I’ve lived in the US my whole life I’m not all that great at it

Yeah he basically took Cinderella (which, in Russian, her name legit means 'made of cinders’) or something close, and but instead of cinders’ it’s made of iron
That’s cool, I like that

oh, that’s so sweet, He didn’t break it down for me, he just mashed it out for me and emailed me.

Like I said, he’s 13 and he thinks I’m a nut. Also, he’s not always available for giving me a hand, so sometimes my Russian is terrible google translations.

Honestly, this conversation gives me so much life! I asked my nephew for help because I wanted a nickname for Tony that was different and new, and that’s what he came up with, so it’s really cute and fun to see someone else break it down.


Немного о валенках

Okay, so I officially have no idea how to go about my ambassador mission, lol. So let’s just start with a silly little Russian expression that I’ve used all my life but only recently paid any special attention to.

I present to you: прикинуться валенком /prikinut’sya valenkom/. It means “to pretend to be innocent/ignorant/oblivious, sometimes with intent to shirk work”, but literally translates to “pretend to be a valenok”.

Here’s some more cultural/linguistic info: valenki (sg. valenok) are a type of traditional Russian footwear - felt boots to be exact. They’re great for keeping warm in dry and frosty weather, but useless against typical city slush, since their water resistance is pretty much 0. Therefore, in the wake of urbanization, they fell out of favour with city-dwellers and became associated with country bumpkins. To call someone a valenok would be the same as to call them crude and rustic. So this is probably where the expression “pretend to be a valenok” came from.

…however, there are also variations of “pretend to be a valenok” that replace valenok with other words, like шлангом (a hose), ветошью (a rag), чайником (a teapot), and чучелом Ульянова (a mount of Ulyanov. You know, that Ulyanov. …more on this later, maybe). I was unable to trace their origins, and they don’t seem to have anything in common, aside from sounding kind of funny in Russian. So make of this what you will :P


“dNEA” Cas yelled.

“What daddy” dean asked the bagel in front of him

“I,,,m pragnet???? But???? THE RUSSIAN CONDOM????” Cas would look up at dean but he can’t since he’s just a simple bagel.

“I didn’t wear one. Pls love me 5ever bagel Cas”

“But my dad”

“You mean God? I don’t care. It’s okay. He may not understand but he’ll still support us”

Sam walked in. “Dude, are you talking to a bagel??? I know I’m a fancy law boy but I feel like you should also know that’s weird”

“But Sam I love him. He’s pregnant with my child”

“Jesus fucking Christ” the moose sighed

anonymous asked:

okay so this isn't really anything interesting but it's a funny story to me. so me and my friends usually chill in my one friends garage and it's really sick. anyways one time we were in there and we were smoking weed and everything was just chill and normal and then my one friend started randomly talking with an accent? and she can't do accents or anything cool like that when she's sober and im pretty sure she even spoke some Russian and she can't speak Russian and she didn't stop for an hour

😂😂 okay so I have a fun story for you now, Anon 😁 My sister and I were watching Harry Potter for like four hours (we watched a couple of the movies) and then we turned it off finally and our mum yelled at us to do something like vacuuming and we both responded in a British accent, neither of us meaning to use that accent, and we couldn’t speak normally for the next hour-ish lol 😁 It was a weird time

Imagine Vlad getting stuck in Russian, like he can’t figure out how to stop and every time he thinks he’s finally switched back to English nope still Russian

Imagine that it used to be a really common thing back in college and Jack found a way to help kick him out of it, like with tongue twisters and speak patterns that force Vlad to use non-Russian sounds.

Imagine sometime during season 3 Vlad get’s stuck int he language for the first time in twenty years and he just kind of pterodactyl screeches and tries for days to kick himself out of it but he fails.

So then Vlad’s standing so irritably at the Fenton’s door, and when Maddie opens up Vlad just grimaces and asks for Jack. and she stares at him and just starts laughing because she knows

So Vlad’s just sitting in the Fenton home like a petulant child with Jack trying so hard to get unstuck from his language issues with Maddie trying and failing to stifle her uncontrollable cackles. he makes all these rude nasty remarks and basically vents his frustrations while no one can understand him.

And then in walks Danny.

And Vlad just shuts up. Dead silence. Lips have be glued together. Maddie tries to get him to make remarks and respond because Danny’s just staring at them all like they’re crazy but Vlad absolutely refuses to speak. He will not have this being used as fodder in their witty banter. Until something happens, like he stubs his toe trying to walk around or Jack does something or what, and he swears and then its just like a cascade of vulgarities and self loathing comments and Danny’s just fucking rolling on the ground laughing through the tears

Eventually Vlad manages to get unstuck, but before he leaves the house Jack just walks over and comments, in Russian, on something Vlad had said, and Vlad just goes fucking white.

anonymous asked:

If you're still taking prompts I would die for a continuation of your NSFW photo shoot fic. Maybe we could see them after the article is released/dealing with being a Thing now?

Patater Photoshoot part 2

The magazine was released one month after the photoshoot. Similar to when Kent and later Alexei came out as gay and bisexual, the public seems to be in shock. The pictures went viral overnight, the most popular being the one where Alexei is holding Kent up against a wall, followed by the photo where Alexei has his hands on Kent’s ass.

Kent really hoped his mom wouldn’t see the pictures. Unfortunately at exactly 10:00 the following morning, he received an email from her. He was expecting something about her complaining about the explicit pictures of him with another man and how inappropriate it all is. Instead she wrote a short lettter:

Hi Kenny,

I saw you on the news today, your pictures are very popular! Now who on earth is the handsome man posing in them with you? I read the article, all about you and your chemistry with him. Tater? Is that his real name? Anyways I expect a phone call from you soon. And bring him over for dinner.

From your favourite mommy ❤️

Kent sighed in relief, at least she doesn’t seem to care that most of the photos looked like Alexei was fucking Kent’s brains out.

Things with Alexei have been interesting since. They tried going out for dinner to celebrate the article’s success, but as they were eating they were bombarded by hockey fans. Instead they ended up in Kent’s apartment with Chinese takeout. Alexei actually spends a lot of time in Kent’s apartment, cherishing his time off before they both have to get back to waking up early to proactive hockey. It’s all very… domestic.

Kent was expecting a lot of sex.

He expected wrong. Other than the photoshoot, they haven’t even kissed. He’s even hinted at it, but Alexei doesn’t seem to want to have any sort of romance with him. It fucking sucks for Kent. He kind of feels lead on too. Why would Alexei get him off at the photoshoot and then spend so much time with him if he just wants to be friends?

The answer hit Kent while he was putting dishes away. And by hit, I mean really hit. Alexei is using him for publicity! Why else would he stick around?! The realization causes his chest to tighten with pain and he drops the plate to the ground. Because of course Kent fell hard for Alexei, and of course Alexei is just using him. Kent doesn’t get happy endings.

Alexei entered the kitchen when he heard the plate shatter on the floor.
“What Happen, kitten?“ He asks, big brown eyes blinking curiously. “Don’t call me that!” Kent gasps, taking a step back from the man. “Be careful where you are step!“ Alexei exclaims, as Kent’s foot narrowly missed a sharp piece of the ceramic plate. Kent doesn’t seem to hear him. “I think you should go,” he hissed back. Alexei blinks down at him in confusion. “I’m do something bad?“ Gosh, his cute face is so fucking innocent and sweet. “Yes! I like you, very very much but it’s obvious you don’t feel the same. You’ve been staying with me for weeks now and honestly I thought maybe you were into me too but obviously I was wrong, so I just think you should leave.” Alexei looks dumbfounded. “But I am liking you,“ he says. “You very pretty and funny and I’m like your weird love of cell biographies!”

“Cell biology, Alexei. Not biography,“ Kent corrects him. It wasn’t a word Alexei was familiar with until Kent.
“Please, get your things and go.” Kent steps over the broken plate and heads to the living room. “What happen?! We are happy and okay and then next minute you mad at me! I’m not do anything! I am liking you!“ Alexei exclaims, eyes wide and his hands were shaking slightly. Kent has never seen him upset before, but he doesn’t like it.
“Exactly, Mashkov. You didn’t do anything. You say you like me but you haven’t kissed me, you haven’t even held my hand since that fucking photoshoot. You’re just using me for the publicity.” Kent sits down on the couch, reaching for Kit, who hops off and runs to attack Alexei’s feet. The Russian sighs and picks up the kitten, kissing her head gently. Kit purrs loudly and Alexei holds her in his arms like a baby.
“Why you call me Mashkov now? I’m Alexei and you my princess.“ He puts the cat down and sits beside Kent, who is struggling to keep tears in.
“Kenny… I’m not kiss you because I’m scared you are not wanting,” he explains. Kent scoffs. “Dude, you’re YOU of course I wanted you to kiss me.“ Alexei just nods, leaning back against the couch as sighing.

“I legit let you jerk me off at a photoshoot, why would I not want you to kiss me?” Alexei shrugs. “I forced myself on you. Not wanting you do things don’t want,“ he explains sadly. Kent rolls his eyes and moves to cuddle up against the larger man. “Lexi, I want everything from you. Like there’s literally nothing sexual you could do to me that I wouldn’t want. Just saying.”

Alexei’s arms fasten around his waist. “Whatever you are wanting, just ask me and I’m give to you,“ he says, running fingers through Kent’s hair. The smaller man smiles, kissing Alexei on the cheek softly. “Well I wouldn’t mind cuddling for awhile,” he says quietly. Tater grins before hugging him tighter.

* * *

The managers for the Aces were slightly disappointed with the photoshoot. A lot of the middle aged male fans stopped buying tickets, merchandise etc. because somehow pictures of Kent looking like he’s being fucked made them uncomfortable. Somehow. The staff quickly quickly got over it though when thousands of teens and adults who use the app “Tumblr" began investing in the aces. Something about a problematic blond and a gorgeous Russian being an “OTP", whatever that means.

The media was supportive of the photoshoot which was nice. Kent’s team was cool with it too, though the chirping never ends. Every practice in the changerooms, Kent receives half a dozen chirps about Mashkov. Alexei is in the same situation, but he doesn’t mind. He just grins proudly every time because, “Haha I’m fuck pretty captain and you have left hand. Haha.“