I don’t know how I’m going to get through these next couple of years, but I will.
I will I will I will. I know there’s still some left in me to pull through and stay focused. I still have a lot left to do. Maybe I have interests I don’t even know about yet, and this apathy- as potent as it is -I think I can put it away; I just need a change of scenery. I should save up money, too, for the trip in December. That will be a good break. I know I have it in me. I don’t understand why my feelings are so erratic all the time-why a moment of total optimism shifts to complete disregard for anything and anyone-but I think the good instances will get me through these next years. So much to do, I think. Or supposedly, you know, but fuck I…oh my g-