i just have a lot of feelings about primeval and how wonderful it is

My Beauty & The Beast Review (spoilers!)

I know there’s been hundreds of these done before, but I just wanted to share my opinion on the highlights and lowlights of the new 2017 live action film (WHICH I ABSOLUTELY LOVED AND WILL BE SEEING A SECOND TIME), upon looking at all the comments and criticisms I’ve seen either through youtube videos, critics, and scrolling through tumblr. 

Cons/scenes that confused me:

- The opening number was not as magical as it could have been. I can’t describe exactly what–it just wasn’t as impactful as a number as the original
- The library scene was not as much as a big reveal. It felt so casual and rushed into–but I really liked how it was such a surprise in the original version
- I feel like Emma Watson could have put more emotion into her singing. I mean of course she can’t top Paige O’Hara but still, I feel like sometimes her soul wasn’t as into it (probably tho because she’s not a musical actress)
- Why the townspeople ganged up on Belle to ruin her laundry–is teaching a girl to read considered that big of a sin??? seems like a bit of a stretch
- I really wanted the proposal scene to happen where Gaston gets rejected, maybe not entirely the same, but just simply something that would outrage Belle more than the conversation she had in this version
- “Gaston, you are positively primeval” was not included
- “No one says no to Gaston!” was not included
- “Every last inch of me’s covered in hair” was not included
- The way Emma Thompson sang BATB wasn’t as great as it should’ve been. A lot of times she sang it slower than the actual tempo to the point where I felt like she had to catch up on the song and it sounded off. I appreciate her trying to sound different from the original but it was getting a bit excessive
- No one questioning why Belle was wearing a ballgown upon being missing for days and being held captive by a beast
- Why Belle called Gaston a monster??? I mean, we as an audience know why, but Belle had no previous knowledge of the monstrous things Gaston had done and the only thing he’d done to her is act like a bigot and vain
- Was I the only one who thought Beast didn’t look hot?? i mean, i liked the gentle vibe he kinda had in the original, but in this version, he’s too much of a hybrid amongst human and beast which kinda creeped me out at times
- Mrs. Potts’ & Chip’s animation was a bit odd to me–despite the Prince wanting the most extravagant of items–their design wasn’t that beautiful or appealing to me
- Belle keeping the rattle that her mom kissed when she had the plague is dangerous, isn’t it?
- The castle crumbling when the last few petals fell from the rose made no sense–like it’s not like the castle totally fell apart when the last petal fell
- Though the transformation scene was wonderful, I had wished Adam or Belle had said something to make the silence less awkward and make the moment more romantic
- The ending scene was nice with the finale song, but I feel like they should’ve done something that tied up the film, I was looking forward to a finale kiss between Belle and Prince Adam but they just danced and it just kinda ended??? there was no impact there

Pros:

- The close-up shots of Belle when she sings her solo part in ‘Belle’ was done beautifully
- Belle’s reprise and the infamous ‘Sound of Music’ scene was some great cinematography 
- The deeper father-daughter dynamic between Belle and Maurice. They added a lot more depth to this character (kevin kline made him funnier and more endearing :”) )
- Belle’s voice sounding more normal throughout the film compared to the autotuned versions released in trailers & online (i was really going in with low expectations of her singing due to what was previously shown but it sounded fine in the movie???)
- Belle’s “Ugh!!!” after the thought of being Gaston’s wife
- Belle’s costume changes; giving her boots vs. flats, hitching up the side of her skirt so she could run more freely and ride horses, adding pockets to store her books, etc.
- ALL THE PLOT HOLE FIX-UPS (every time they explained something new i was like OHHH THAT MAKES SENSE NOW)
- Having more scenes showing the Beast’s character as well as seeing more of the chemistry with him and Belle
- All the new original songs blew me away. Once again, Alan Menken is a true legend.
- Evermore was so essential and I’m so glad they decided to give Beast a solo song (i always wanted to hear one from him, and it gave me Phantom vibes which was BONUS)
- Character development with LeFou
- All of LeFou’s lines (i cracked up every single time)
- Golden cast. 
- Dan Stevens and his facial expressions, acting through his eyes, how he poured his heart and soul in evermore.
- Luke Evans was literally Gaston brought to life. The voice, the looks, the charm. I also liked how he was a bit darker in this version.
- Josh Gad brilliant once again, I lost it at “It’s never gonna happen ladies”

- Ewan McGregor gave a refreshing retake on Lumiere and his singing was great!
- “The East Wing, or as I like to call it, the ONLY wing” 
- Maurice admiring Lumiere and Cogsworth as the two argued who he was referring to once he left
- DIVERSE CAST
- Interracial couples.
- The song ‘Gaston’ blew me away. It was better than the original.
- Visually stunning scenes throughout.
- Beast saying they should run away together (my heart melted when he said that)
- BE OUR GUEST GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS. DID NOT DISAPPOINT. (i was really nervous about them messing it up but it gave me the thrills just as the original)
- How this movie really tugged on my heartstrings and I cried 6 times throughout the whole 2 hours.
- Belle singing ‘How Does a Moment Last Forever’ was beautiful
- “Too touristy?” - Beast
- Beast trying to protect his masculinity when he was caught reading a romance
- All the passionate stares between Belle and Beast throughout the film
- EVERMORE.
- The ballroom scene was breathtaking. The ballroom set itself was–dhlsdkfhdsk
- Beast/Prince Adam’s mother being his sun (insert sobbing)
- The mob song was also done better than the original. (OMG BUT LEFOU’S LINE THO–)
- The way the beast screamed “BELLE!” was heart-wrenching
- The transformation scene was powerful, Dan Stevens was beautiful. That kiss tho–right in the feels.
- “Turn back into a clock. Back into a clock.”
- The Finale ver of Beauty and the Beast was lovely, the new lyrics added in were just the perfect finishing touch as well
- BELLE’S WHITE DRESS WAS STUNNING.
- “How would you feel about growing a beard?” *GROWLS* (me: dies)
- LEFOU FINDING HIS SOULMATE + FIRST DISNEY GAY REP.
- Everyone dancing together (instead of everyone just awkwardly watching Belle & Adam dance)

Things I have learned from Grey (part 1/?)

1. HERE I GO AGAAAAAAIN ON MY OOOOOOOOWWWWNN
2. Oh, hi, hello there. Yes, I am doing this again. No, I don’t make money off this (although I should, I’m losing brain cells for the good of humanity). You’re all welcome, by the way
3. About the book: “E L James offers a fresh perspective on the love story that has enthralled millions of readers around the world.” – it’s not fresh, it’s literally the same book, only written from a “different perspective” or whatever. That is not fresh, that is “let me make some money writing the same thing wow go me i is smart writer cookie for me”
4. It’s funny that in the About the author page, there’s no mention about E.L.James’ previous “thriller with a supernatural twist”. It’s almost like… she can’t write anything else *gasp*
5.I wonder briefly if all her skin is like that—flawless—and what it would look like pink and warmed from the bite of a cane.” – here we go again *sigh* *bangs head against wall just to be prepared*

6. What normal person thinks something like that the second that they meet someone? It’s like: “yes, hi, hello, nice to meet you, I wonder how you’d look if I beat you with a cane, yes the weather is nice today fancy a walk?”
7.A bashful, bookish type, eh? She looks it: poorly dressed, her slight frame hidden beneath a shapeless sweater, an A-line brown skirt, and utilitarian boots.” – I feel offended on behalf of all bookish people. Who says we can’t dress fancy or whatever?? Fuck you Christian.

8.It occurs to me that I could refine her motor skills with the aid of a riding crop.” – what the fuck. My dude. No. Step away from the equipment. Have some hot chocolate. Hug a puppy. And therapy. Lots and lots of therapy. Also, I dare you all to read that sentence with a straight face.
9. He’s calling her baby and sweetheart in his inner monologue and I can’t help but squirm because it’s sooooooo creepy.

10. OH MY GOD I JUST REALISED THERE WON’T BE ANY INNER GODDESSES DOING PIROUETTES OR WHATEVER IN THIS BOOK
11. OH MY GOD PRAISE THE HEAVENS
12. BLESS BLESSSSSSS
13.her mouth needs training, and I imagine her on her knees before me” – yes, this book is as eloquent as its predecessors
14. Anastasia asking Christian if he’s gay sends him in a whirlwind of “omg how dare sheeeeeee, the HORROR, the BLASPHEMY”. Christian isn’t very confident in his masculinity, apparently. Also, fyi, being gay isn’t the worst thing on the planet, author.
15.I want to flog and fuck this girl in my playroom.” – I regret this endeavour that I dared take. No, really, pulling out my own nails would be more pleasant. Medieval torture sounds so much more fun than this.
16. Yeah, I’ll give you a second to get over that visual.
17. Of course he’s doing a background check on her because that’s totally normal. Background checks aren’t sexy, they’re creepy and invasive. This has been a PSA for Christian.
18.So here I am, an ass” – yes, you are accurate, very good here’s a gold star
19.I’m now behaving like a stalker” – 2 for 2 Christian, attaboy!
20. His inner monologue is so pretentious and…ugh, how can I explain this properly… it’s like a dudebro learned how to utter proper sentences
21. Kinda like this: “I’m manly and awesome, let’s DO THIS GAME ON MOTHAFUCKAAAASS *all the exclamation points*” But, you know, more articulate
22.My cock twitches in response” – so this is what I’m getting in exchange for all the “down there” monologue from the previous books. FML.

23. The amount of times he’s thought of flogging her is becoming nauseating
24.It’s coarser and chafes more if you struggle against it…my rope of choice.” – bro, no. Like, no. This is not okay. He’s actively looking for things that hurt more. This book is hurting me. Time to bring out the big guns:

25. Ana being able to tie and roll up some rope is oh so impressive to Christian, as if women are incompetent squirrels.
26. ANOTHER HUMAN MALE IS IN THE VICINITY OF THE FEMALE. TERROR ALERT TERROR ALERT
27. I shit you not, it’s probably what went on in Christian’s tiny sex addled brain
28.Get your fucking paws off her”. – I fucking told y’all
29. I know he’s staking a claim and telling me to back off” – oh my actual god, you’re human people get over this primeval behaviour
30.In my room. Just you, me, and the cable ties.” – sooooo romantic *gags repeatedly*
31. I’m only on page 30 hahahahahaha ahahahahahaha hahahahahaha
32. Pray for me

Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed masterpost

anonymous asked:

Hello there! It's my birthday and I decided today was a good day to ask for a BBRae fix with more public sex? Pretty please? I absolutely loved your beach fanfic, you're such an amazing writer! Thank you :)

Anon, Happy Freakin’ Birthday!

This has somewhere between zero and .01 plot, but I guess you can consider it a part of “Summer Beach Read”…? I referenced parts of it, so sure.

Anyway, enjoy!

NSFW? NSFW.

- - - 

Displayed Under Glass

“So, what… we just roam around and look at old shit under glass? That’s it?”

Raven looked over at her newly acquired boyfriend, raising an eyebrow as she pulled herself away from the information placard that sat next to a set of ancient pottery belonging to one of the first establishments of the Mesopotamia era. It was a piece of ancient history just inches beyond her touch, filled with stories and memories… and Beast Boy was about as interested as she was in his video games. She sighed and leaned back on her heels, turning around to look at him.

"Yes, Beast Boy. We’re here to look at old shit under glass.” She crossed her arms over her chest and continued to stare at him. “I find it interesting, and I got to pick where we went on our date this time, because last time you took me to a comic book convention.”

"You liked it.”

“I smelled like nerd for a week.” She shivered thinking of the smell of fresh body odor and stale corn chips. It wasn’t a scent she was likely to forget any time soon. “And some creepy guy thought I was a cosplayer and tried to grab my breast as an ‘accident’. I am never doing that again.”

"Oh, come on, Rae…” He nudged her shoulder, a smile peeling across his lips. “You had a little bit of fun.”

"No.” She moved to the next case and looked at something else. “No, Garfield, I did not.”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged nonchalantly, but there was a lilt of coyness in his voice, as if he was trying to remind her of something a little forbidden. “You seemed to have fun when I fucked you in the elevator.”

Keep reading

captaintightpants90  asked:

I've been re-watching Buffy and I was just wondering which is your favorite season finale?

Buffy did season finales so well it’s really difficult to choose. I’m thinking about this and I keep changing my mind! Because they are all amazing in really different ways. 

Prophecy Girl was about Buffy accepting her calling. Actually, not just her calling, but herself, her identity. And that was something she would continue to struggle with throughout the series (and a theme that would be touched upon in each season finale) and it has some of the most iconic moments in the show.

Becoming was the perfect ending for a season that showed us for the first time the potential of the show (i.e. how Joss Whedon would break our hearts into a million pieces over and over again). And I think it has one of the most important messages the show has ever given to girls:

And then Graduation Day. E P I C! The fight between Buffy and Faith, Angel drinking off of Buffy, Oz and Willow having sex, Cordelia killing her first vampire, Buffy blowing up the Mayor (well, gosh!) and the most amazing thing: every single Sunnydale student not only being in the know but also becoming active participants in the fight against evil. The scene where they take off their graduation gowns and we see that they are armed to the teeth and ready to fight back just blew me away. HELL YEAH!! I felt like I was one of them.

And Restless. Oh Restless! Such an amazing episode full of both callbacks and foreshadowing! I remember watching Primeval and thinking: “wait, this felt like a season finale! but there’s still an episode left! what is going on? what is going to happen?” I freaked out so much. And then we got Restless, such a perfect exploration of the characters’ psyches and identities, and so layered that you can help but find new things every single time you watch it. And Restless gave us this beautiful character…

A character that has been driving people insane over his meaning for 14 years!!

Then we got The Gift. And I remember when I watched it back in 2001 and crying my heart out for a really long time after the last shot of the episode. Was that it? Was that the end of Buffy Summers? Every time I watch The Gift I feel like the first half and the second half of it are two very different episodes (the first half didn’t have that season finale feel, and nothing much happens really…) But after they get to the tower… Okay, I’m gonna stop because just thinking about it makes me wanna cry. The Gift is awesome because it’s so painful and because “be brave, live, for me” and…

She saved the world. A lot.   :(

And Grave… Willow is scary and veiny, and Giles is back, and Willow can’t take the pain anymore and she’s gonna destroy the world and Buffy is not there to avoid it. And Xander saves the day in such a sweet and heartbreaking way and Buffy finally gets her will to live back and Dawn is a cute BAMF and Spike gets his soul back! 

And finally, Chosen. First we get Buffy realizing she’s cookie dough and that she needs to be with herself before she can be with anyone. And “Are you ready to be strong?” and Anya and bunnies and Willow “Oh my goddess!” and Spike’s sacrifice and the earth opening up and swallowing Sunnydale in its entirety and the Sunnydale sign (Spike!) and Buffy looking beyond the horizon with hope. 

So, long rant over. I love all of them! Sorry!