i just had to take it out of context

Flirting is Hard When You’re Harry Potter

Original headcanon by @ harry-is-lily-ginny-is-james!!!

It’s still monday! …for a half an hour anyway. This one ended up being much bigger than I originally planned. I hope you like it~

(Now posted on AO3!)

“It’s all the paper talks about anymore,” Draco frowned, “Stupid Potter.”

“We’re agog,” Blaise said pouring himself and Draco a cup of coffee.

Pansy smothered a yawn and picked up a piece of toast, “Do tell.”

Draco folded his paper, eyes scanning past the picture to the drivel written below, “Potter’s going to join the auror’s, change the world,” he grumbled, “you’d think the sun shines out of his arsehole the way they go on about him.”

Pansy rolled her eyes.

“Couldn’t agree more,” A voice said behind him from the Ravenclaw table, “that Potter’s a total pillock.”

“Exactly-” Draco turned on his bench, his words choking off before they were halfway out of his mouth.

“I really don’t know what they see in him,” Potter said flatly, taking a massive bite of pancake.

Luna smiled absently at Potter’s side, “I don’t know, I’ve always thought he was quite nice.”

Potter picked up his pumpkin juice, “To-tal pil-lock.”

Draco felt his face go hot and he spun around back to his plate. Blaise quickly picked up his coffee cup to hide a growing smile. Pansy snorted, almost choking on her toast, she ducked her head and fumbled for her cup.

Draco grabbed his bag and left the table with an imperious sniff.

Keep reading

The night they broke the DM

Context: my party of a Rogue, Druid, and Bard had just taken taken down a white dragon in a mining town and were in the process of looting it when I decided that they shouldn’t be able to carry around a whole dragon skin so I sent in someone to stop them.

Me: from inside the mine runs out a huge, burly half-orc covered in soot. He looks at you three, and says “we’ll take it from here.”

Rogue, standing on the carcass: This is our kill. We will do with it as we please.

*Rogue fails a persuasion roll*

Half-Orc: You killed it on my land, it is my dragon. You can keep what you’ve taken so far, but the rest belongs to the mine.

Gold-hungry Rogue: You can have it, for 50,000 gold.

*fails persuasion* *Druid fails to charm the Half-Orc*

Half-Orc: This is MY dragon.

Cocky Rogue: I’ll fight you for it.

*The party is all level 3 at this point, so I make the Half-Orc a Champion*

Half-Orc: *laughs* [Miner]! Bring me my greatsword!

They fight, and the Rogue is of course KO’d instantly. The Bard heals him and as he stands up with blood running down his face.

Sonofabitch Rogue: That was a great fight. We’ll give it to you for 15,000.

I stare at him in disbelief.

Me: Roll persuasion with disadvantage ‘cause he just kicked your ass.

The Rogue rolls a 19 and a 20. And this war hero who has killed a Pit Fiend and a Adult Blue Dragon gives the scrawny, greedy, arrogant Half-Elf 15,000 gold worth in silver bars from his own mine.

I knocked everyone’s drink over from how hard I slammed my head on the table.

GoT S07E03 Thoughts

And here we go again.

As always, these are my rambling nonsensical thoughts on the episode, but disclaimer, my stream lagged so i missed maybe 30 seconds to maybe a minute of the episode. Let’s begin. 

Jon and Tyrion’s conversations had to be some of my favourite scenes from this episode. That shared smile between them when Jon first lands on Dragonstone and they greet each other was so pure. There is potential for a great friendship between them. They both have an understanding for each other that they don’t share with anyone else. Jon as a bastard and Tyrion as a dwarf. This was evident in earlier seasons too, but more so now that they have both found their places in the world. They respect each other, but they’re fighting for very different causes (and for different reasons) and I wonder if this fledgling friendship will become a point of contention for them later in the story.

Anyway, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t say that one of my favourite scenes had to be Tyrion and Jon’s conversation about Sansa. What I loved about this scene was although it was fleeting, it still gave us Jonsa feels (if you’re inclined to read the scene this way anyhow). 

When Tyrion says, “does she miss me terribly?” Jon is very quiet and they let that silence play on long enough for it to be a significant marker in a conversation. Jon didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t an awkward silence; it was absolutely an annoyed, aggravated silence. And then what’s great is that Tyrion immediately went on the defensive and says that the marriage was never consummated. 

It’s a strange thing to say, especially when they were so friendly earlier. Wouldn’t it be safe to assume that if Jon had any suspicions that Tyrion had hurt/touched Sansa against her will that exchange would’ve gone very differently? There was clearly no need to mention it at all, but yet Tyrion did and Jon’s response was “I didn’t ask” in a clearly annoyed tone that suggested if this topic didn’t end soon someone was going to get choked out. Either Jon really hates the thought of Sansa with another man he turned into grumpy kitten Jon or he doesn’t want to think about his sister having sex at all. But bear with me here, if it’s the latter, why have this dialogue at all? There’s no narrative reasoning for this whatsoever unless Jonsa is a real possibility in the future and we’re supposed to continue to think about Jon, Sansa and ‘sex’ in the same line of thought.  

Okay, okay, admittedly my shipping goggles are on, but I still maintain the fact that it’s a weird piece of dialogue to have. If all they wanted to do was establish Sansa as a real political player, they could’ve cut that entire 2-3 lines out and just went straight into:

“She’s smarter than she lets on.”

“She’s starting to let on.”

And now that we’re onto the topic, I absolutely believe the mention of Sansa’s intelligence here serves two purposes. The first is to establish Sansa as a real political player here. She’s been underestimated by everyone in Westeros, but she’s far smarter than anyone gives her credit for (yes, even Jon).

In fact, jumping straight to Winterfell, you are given a whole scene of Sansa demonstrating that intelligence – not only in keeping everyone fed, but in keeping the soldiers protected. She understands what it takes to rule. But what I love about this sequence of scenes is Littlefinger praising her then going on to claim to know Cersei better than everyone and Sansa just shutting him down, saying she knows her better. Once again, we’re being forced to consider all that Sansa’s learned from Cersei. She just didn’t learn how to play the game but she learned Cersei herself. If anyone can outplay Cersei, we’re being led to believe it’s Sansa. 

Why I think this is important is how this episode also demonstrated that Cersei is once again one of the smartest and most devious rulers in Westeros. She completely outmaneuvered Tyrion, Daenerys and Olenna. People think her ‘madness’ from losing her children will make her weaker, but she’s still as shrewd as ever. She is very much Tywin’s daughter, but she’s much more ruthless. Tyrion may be smart, but thus far? He’s not as smart as his sister. 

But who is? 

Well, there’s a ‘queen’ in the North who is, and the more I think about it, the more I think this quote is actually referring to Sansa: 

“Aye. Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.”

Because Cersei is right. Dany is a revolutionary, not a ruler. She can conquer and free slaves, but she doesn’t know how to rule. She’s not nearly as intelligent as Cersei in playing the Westerosi game, but Sansa is. She’s learned from the very best after all. Whether I’m wrong or right, I am convinced Sansa’s role in this war will be far greater than just ruling Winterfell in Jon’s stead. 

Its second purpose is basically to reaffirm Jon’s faith and trust in Sansa and her judgement. But what I found interesting is the way he says it is almost in an exasperated way, like he knows she is and she continues to “twist him in a way no one else can” because she’s too smart for her own good. But alas, the shipping goggles are on, so take that what you will. 

Now onto the big anticipated meeting. Honestly, I enjoyed Jon and Dany’s interactions. The juxtaposition of them as individuals and rulers were pronounced in the last episode, but they were even more glaringly so in this one. While Dany continues to talk about her rightful place and her indignation that he refuses to acknowledge what is hers, Jon continues to fight for his people and the war up North. I mean that’s just the thing, isn’t it? Every mention of Dany being this benevolent ruler who cares about the people doesn’t actually come from Dany. She doesn’t actually say she wants to save the people of Westeros. It’s always someone else because maybe, just maybe it’s not really her true purpose here in Westeros. Yes, I don’t believe she would be indifferent to the loss of innocent lives, but if it was the only way to get her to that throne, wouldn’t you think she’d do it? Wouldn’t Dany say ‘to hell with all of it’ and fly her dragons and burn everything in sight for that throne? If it was her only option, she would choose herself over the people. 

Hell, she even says it. After her speech about all she’s overcome, she says the only way she’s endured any of that was because of her faith in herself. While it’s a good speech if you take out the context, Dany’s survived and persevered this long because of her unwavering belief in her birthright, which was to rule on the Iron Throne. Everything else comes second to that. And I refuse to believe that the ultimate hero of the story is someone who believes themselves a hero and entitled to a kingdom. 

Whereas Jon was thrust into his position. He would choose the people over himself and that difference was emphasised by this quote they just had to repeat twice: 

“…took a knife in the heart for his people.”

Also, the fact that Jon cut Davos off before he could blab about Jon’s resurrection and Dany’s fixation on this feels highly foreboding. It’s definitely going to come back up, but in what way, I don’t know. 

Objectively speaking, I could see how Jon3rys could be hinted in this episode, as Jon and Dany come to understand each other, but personally, I believe it’s a tentative alliance at best that borders on an impasse rather than actual understanding. Right now, they can work because Dany has bigger fish to fry and Jon needs dragonglass. But when their objectives clash? What then? You could even see this opposition highlighted in the way they were filmed on that cliff. They’re standing together yet they’re facing opposite directions. They spend far more of that scene looking away from one another than looking eye to eye. Having their first one-on-one interaction being filmed in the light is also quite telling. The sun can be a symbolic source of goodness, but it can also be an oppressive force. Actually, it made me think of this quote from Albert Camus’ The Stranger: 

“The sky was already filled with light. The sun was beginning to bear down on the earth and it was getting hotter by the minute. I don’t know why we waited so long before getting under way. I was hot in my dark clothes […] it was inhuman and oppressive.“

Jon is a man of the North. His season is winter. I’ve said in previous metas that having Jon’s resurrection coincide with Winter’s arrival was symbolilc. Where usually in literature winter represents a time of stagnancy or even regression in the hero myth, for Jon, it represents rebirth and growth. Winter is a time for Starks. Having such sunlight bearing down on them in this scene (looking more like summer than winter) and Jon still wearing his furs seems to forewarn perhaps bad consequences with this alliance. 

For my Jonsa shippers, this is the exact opposite in how Jon and Sansa’s scenes are shot. They’re almost always in dimly lit areas or surrounded by candlelight, and snow is usually falling. Their reunion also coincided with Winter’s coming, so don’t despair if you are over Jon3rys meeting. 

Speaking of how scenes are shot, Sansa and Bran’s reunion couldn’t be more of a stark (ha ha) difference to Jon and Sansa’s. Yes, he was never going to run towards her, but she didn’t nuzzle him. I’ve always said the choice of having Sansa nuzzle Jon’s cheek was a bizarre one. It’s just odd. People don’t nuzzle their family members. But maybe she wasn’t in the nuzzling mood, fine. Go to the godswood scene though and there just seems to be such a distance between Sansa and Bran. I think that’s partially Bran being the Three-Eyed Raven as well because the distance was also entirely about who he is now as well.

Anyway, Clearly in the books Bran’s importance and power is more obvious, so they had to demonstrate somehow that Bran as the Three-Eyed Raven can see everything. But why does he bring up Sansa’s wedding? If they wanted to show off his power, they could have him bring anything else up, so why her wedding? Why bring up Ramsay at all? Shouldn’t Bran know better than that? Especially to tell her she looks beautiful that day after already implicitly saying he knows what Ramsay did to her. It feels unnecessarily cruel for Bran who, while seemingly distant, does love her. It has to serve a purpose for them to write that in. Perhaps foreshadowing a future wedding in the cards for Sansa? Perhaps a fake one to LF? Or maybe something further down the line where it’ll be the opposite of everything she had with Ramsay. No godswood, no beautiful white dress, no snow falling, but with someone she loves and who loves her. I don’t know but I’m just speculating here. 

Moving on to my favourite scene in the episode though: Cersei with Elaria. Honestly, Lena Heady is a phenomenal actress. Everyone is so focused on Cersei being this horrible evil villain, but you forget the real nuances to her character. When she asks Elaria why she killed Myrcella, it was delivered in such a vulnerable tone. You really, truly get a glimpse of the heartbroken, grieving mother who just tried to do her best for her children (whether that best was actually good or not), but then immediately after, you get the vindictive, cunning and formidable Cersei as she kisses Elaria’s daughter. It was amazing. Horrible but amazing. 

Second favourite scene had to be Olenna’s. What is there to say? She is the Dowager Queen of Badass Bitchery and Snarky Comebacks. Give me a great, complex female villain any day! I wouldn’t even call Olenna a villain tbh. But what I mean is I would 150% take morally grey or morally corrupt female characters over your atypical one-dimensional girl-next-door ones any day, week or month.  

Stray thoughts that I don’t have time/energy to write about:

Did anyone else get flirty vibes between Tyrion and Dany? 

And does anyone think Jorah’s “perhaps our paths will cross again” sound entirely too foreboding for Sam?

The day Tom Hiddleston winked at me…

If any of you follow me on twitter then you may have already heard but if not I’m going to share a little something from #RADAHamlet in bit more detail (spoiler-free!) There have been barely any accounts from the play as there were so few tickets so I thought people might appreciate a little something, even if it’s only something very small that I’ve probably made far too much of…

Yesterday I was lucky enough to see Hiddleston’s Hamlet at RADA which was an incredible production. The whole company was wonderful and it left me rather emotional. I could waffle on about the play and individual performances for hours but aside from that something unexpected happened.

The theatre is tiny, so so small, you’re so close to the action and it’s incredibly emersive. A number of the actors clearly avoided making eye contact with the audience too much, looking above our heads etc as I know it can be pretty distracting, but not Tom.

During the first few scenes he seemed to scan the audience, finding people who didn’t mind making eye contact and I happened to be one of them. I overheard a few people talking about this during the interval/afterwards so I definitely wasn’t the only one. So we get to the point where he delivers Hamlet’s “Am I a coward?” soliloquy and he says it directly to me, not breaking eye contact the entire time. Soliloquies usually show characters’ internal thoughts as if they are talking to themselves but he was asking me the questions directly… (For a bit of context, I was sat on the front row of the circle which is just above head-height so he had to look up slightly for it).

Throughout the play he kept coming back to me (and occasionally my mum!), making eye contact at certain moments, certain lines, and I’ve never felt so involved in a play. This play was truly a unique experience. Then when the curtain call came all the lights came up and the company came out for their bows. As is usual for the protagonist he stepped out to take a bow on his own, looking up at me for a moment, then when he came out for his final bow he looked back at me, giving me a nod of appreciation/recognition, winked at me and then grinned like an idiot before leaving the stage for the final time.

I was originally gutted that they weren’t doing the stage door but the play was more than enough, he’s an incredible actor and I’m so glad I’ve finally seen him after missing out on Coriolanus! He made eye contact with a few other people during the show too and with the theatre being so small it really brought everyone right into the play. Anyone who has tickets is in for a real treat! And for anyone who hasn’t been so lucky I hope this has been just a small insight into the performance, especially as there have been so few accounts shared online!

I just noticed some parallels in the (infamous) Taking Flight episode, so before this episode Keith and Lance had their bonding moment

So here it was established that they built up some sort of trust in each other for Lance to say that, but then the day after he forgets the moment

And this leaves Keith feeling pretty betrayed and heartbroken

Then Lance goes off and meets Nyma

Who he obviously likes and starts to trust a little because she seems to like him too. Then it turns out she was only using him for his lion and he feels completely betrayed because of that

The context is different, but this is almost the same equivalent to Keith:

- He grew more closer to Lance and gained more trust in him too, then Lance breaks that connection by completely forgetting the moment and crushing Keith

- Lance grows closer to Nyma and feels like he can trust her, then she breaks that connection by using him and breaking his heart

Damn Fine Police Work

Context: In a dark heresy campaign, my Iron Hands techmarine had just shot off the sword arm of an enemy officer charging me with a chainsword. I then crushed his other hand so he couldn’t fight back and dangled him upside down by the foot with my servo arm, attempting to interrogate him for information. At this point the officer is bleeding profusely out of both arms and what little blood is left in him is rushing to his head. My character is heavily augmented with cybernetics and takes a large penalty on any ‘charisma’ based interactions with anyone who is not.

Me (ooc): “I want to ask this guy about enemy troop locations in the area so we have an idea of what we’re up against.”

*critically fails the intimidation check*

DM: “You begin screaming incoherently while shaking him up an down with your servo arm. The mental strain he goes through trying to understand your nonsense while hanging upside down gives him a brain aneurysm and he dies on the spot.”

Me: “Apothecary! I require your skills to revive this important fleshling!”

Blood Angel Apothecary (successfully using his bone drill to perform complex brain surgery): “Don’t you die on me, human! I must kill you myself! The emperor demands it!”

DM: “The officer regains consciousness with the apothecary’s drill still lodged in his skull and immediately begins screaming in pain and fear.”

Me: “Cease your whimpering, scum! Tell us what we want to know!”

*fails another intimidation check*

DM: “The officer, not even knowing what it is you want from him, abandons all hope and begins begging for death. He promptly runs out of blood and dies. Again. No amount of “first aid” can bring him back.

Me (gently poking his corpse to see if he’s still alive): “Hmm…Perhaps I was not frightening enough. I will take this into consideration for future interrogations." 

Our Squad’s Devastator (who has a notably higher ‘charisma’ than everyone else and just watched the whole ordeal unfold): "Hey guys? Not to rain on your torture parade or anything, but uhh… I think I should handle the prisoners from now on.”

The apothecary and I disagreed.

I had a revelation recently, (which I kind of already knew but this kind of cemented it in my head) which is that Americans actually think THEY are the progressive, open minded ones.

For example, Tom Holland (new Spider-Man) recently did a drag performance of Umbrella on that lip sync show thing (which I would thoroughly recommend watching, he was fucking fantastic) and while some people were like “ew, that’s weird and I’m uncomfortable,” the other half were like “this is so groundbreaking! Spider-Man in drag! He must have SUCH confidence in his masculinity to do something like that at 20 years old! I wonder if he’s gay? He must at least be bi!” Meanwhile anyone I talked to in Britain was like “yeah it was a good performance. Seems like a nice guy.” Because it WASN’T groundbreaking. I didn’t think so, anyway. Tom Holland said “yeah I didn’t mind being in drag, I asked to do it” and took it completely casually, didn’t even think twice about it, because what British actor HASN’T done drag? 

We have a culture over here of men dressed as women in pantomimes every year, and these are things AIMED at children, not deemed inappropriate for them, and the men in question are never thought to be gay or trying to be a woman or whatever. They’re just being funny and having a good time. In my town there’s a local farmer who does the panto every year, as a woman, wig and make up and all, and he’s the beefiest most masculine guy you’ll meet with a wife and kids. He just likes the theatre of it. 

In Mrs Brown’s Boys (probably the most successful Irish sitcom), Mrs Brown is played by a male comedian, Brendan Carroll. His wife and children are also in the show. The fact that he was dressed as a woman was never the joke in the show, or even referenced - he just wrote a funny character and then decided “I’m going to play her.” If you didn’t know already you probably couldn’t even tell from watching that Mrs Brown was a man. I’ve never heard anybody over here have a problem with that. It just.. is. The joke is in her being a foul mouthed old lady who tells filthy jokes, not the part where she’s played by a man. 

When Queen first released “I want to break free” the video (which featured the whole band in drag as housewives) wasn’t allowed to be released in America because they deemed it too risqué and it wasn’t received well. Over here we just thought it was entertaining. We thought nothing of it really. Half the guys in my class when I was at school dressed as women at some point for a laugh. And it was only after speaking to Americans I realised that that just isn’t done over there. We had guys do drag for talent shows in secondary school, and plays in primary school. Everyone thought they were great. Guys from the rugby team went to prom in dresses and their girlfriends went in suits for the hell of it. The principal dressed as a woman on our last day as a joke. But a teenage boy doing drag at school for whatever reason in America is social suicide. I mean, obviously some people in Britain wouldn’t be as accepting of that, and some parts of America are more accepting than others, it’s a massive country, but overall it’s just such a different culture. I think that’s partially why the really liberal, “progressive” ones make such a massive deal about gender roles, and why anyone who dresses as the opposite sex is deemed trans or gay or “queer” - because while they like to think they’re ahead of the game in terms of gender, they still have the mindset that if you wear a dress, you must want to be a woman. (Learned all this while living there btw, I’m not just making assumptions.) 

It irritates me when I then see Americans claiming they are the pinnacle of open-mindedness, and British people are old fashioned fuddy duddies when we see THEM as the conservative ones. It’s kind of funny. I don’t think this counts as generalising so much as comparing two very different cultures. And there are definitely British people who are conservative in other ways, but the whole culture around drag is just different here. I’m very sorry for making you read such a long load of shite mags, I just started typing stream of consciousness style into the submission box and didn’t intend for it to be so long. I suppose it’s just interesting how we view ourselves and our culture, and how others might disagree with that from the outside. I wonder what we’ve got wrong about ourselves, lol.

– anonymous submission

This has put into words exactly how I’ve been feeling for a long time about so many posts and claims and news articles that have come out of the US, but I just hadn’t put it into context. I had no idea why they were so obsessed with something so blatantly ordinary and fine, and you writing all this out, it’s finally clicked in my head.

I mean, we have our Conservatives, but they’re probably more similar to the Democrats in the US in a lot of ways. They were the ones that made the final push to get same-sex marriage legalised here, after all – credit where credit is due.

This is incredibly insightful, and I think that both Brits and Americans would find this fascinating, so thank you so much for taking the time to write it and send it to me. I really, really appreciate it.

falsettos characters as weird things my sister has said out of context

marvin: *walks into the bathroom* *screams*
whizzer: *heard from the opposite side of the house* aw, that’s gay!
mendel: i’m writing smut in a hoodie and eating roast beef so that’s how my life is going
trina: oh, by the way, bananas
jason: i just had a minor breakdown and had to start speaking hebrew
charlotte: take some antacids and shut the hell up

me: *likes Morticia*

me: *eventually creates an AU Morticia with no other differences other than her being adult, quite tall and vaporwave/future funk/80′s aerobics themed*

me: Well, I guess it’s not Morticia anymore. I mean, there’s nothing similar to Morticia let alone original Morty left here, how can I claim this as alternate version of the character if it doesn’t look like orig-

Pocket Mortys: 

me: nevermind

Druid Wants to Flee

Context: The group was fighting a group of Orcs riding Owl Bears. This Orc party had an artifact that our Leaders wanted. After taking heavy amounts of damage the Druid gets knocked out of Bear form.

Warlock Ofc: You can just turn right back into a bear, you still have one more use of wild shape

Druid whispering to himself: I should turn into a horse and fucking run away…

i’ve tried to stay silent on this whole thing and i always try to avoid the chris antis because i can’t be bothered with them most of the time but this has gone way too far and i’ve had enough and this is all i’m saying on it.

this is dedicated to EVERYONE who is dragging chris wood and calling him a homophobe because of a quote that is going round that has been taking out of context and failed to actually post the whole quote. WATCH the video before calling him out because i’ve seen and spoken to so many people who have “cancelled” chris wood just because of the quote that is going round and then when i’ve showed them the video they’ve said “oh… he didn’t do anything wrong”
did he say the quote that’s going round? YES. but was that all he said? NO. he said it in a sarcastic tone and then said it was sarcasm (with the intention to be sarcastic when he said it, not just say something shitty and then blame it on sarcasm or say it was a joke) it was OBVIOUSLY sarcasm, he OBVIOUSLY disagrees with what he said which is why he said it SARCASTICALLY, he was mocking the fact that some people actually think they have the right to tell people what their sexualities are. You are ALL agreeing with him. his point is still valid just because it was done sarcastically.

he didn’t interrupt katie at all and she actually laughed at the comment (again, watch the video, that’s just a fact) and then she later made the same point that he had previously made except she didn’t do it in a sarcastic way. they both made exactly the same point!!

as for the song video… people saying shit like chris was singing along or laughing his ass off, WATCH THE VIDEO (not the one above but it’s the recap video on MTV’s youtube, idk if some of y'all know that seeing as most of you haven’t even seen the video you’re just going on what people say) which isn’t fair because this fandom is BIASED to hating everything chris does and have since he first appeared on SG.

chris was THE ONLY cast member to not laugh during the song. THE ONLY one. katie laughed (she was in fact laughing her ass off that she was practically crying), david laughed, odette laughed, mehcad was singing along and obviously it was jeremy and melissa who sang the song. he looked uncomfortable for the whole part of the song about supercorp.

if you want to hate chris just because you hate him or because he doesn’t hate karamel or because he said once that mon-el was a good guy or because he sang (along with most of the cast) a song about daxam, if you really want to hate him because of any of those reasons then just fucking own up to it. don’t call him homophobic because you think that justifies hating him more than the reasons listed above.

i’m not going to make this about why chris shouldn’t even be hated because that’s a whole other thing. ive tried again and again with people and at the end of the day people just want to hate chris. i’ve actually seen people ADMIT that chris didn’t really do anything wrong but “oh well i’ve never liked the guy” so let’s post this out of context quote and call him a homophobe so everyone who isn’t in the sg fandom hates him with us

also to all the people i’m blatantly going to have coming at me i am NOT saying anything about the other cast members or what happened with the song this is solely about chris and what actually happened, and the video proves it so this isn’t for a fight.

Maybe, Possibly

Summary: Phil’s mother is adamant that he should be settling down, so invites one of his turbulent exes to an annual family get-together the following day. In a moment of panic, he tells her he’s already dating someone. With no other options, he turns to Dan.

Genre: Reality

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: Some swearing, references to alcohol

Read on ao3

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OtaYuri fic recs #12

Just Us by SociallyAwkwardFox (Maze_Runner_Fae), teen, 1.4k

“Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone-and finding that’s okay with them.” Alain de Botton
Yuri and Otabek being weird and domestic with each other.

Here’s to the Mess We Make by FakePlasticSnow, teen, 12.7k

Part 1 of the Yuri Plisetsky vs. Adulting series

“Fuck you. Fuck you for being kind, for seeing me for who I really am, and for looking good in a leather jacket. You ruined everything. I like you.”

Puberty sucks. Feelings suck more. In the wake of a post-Worlds meltdown, Yuri accidentally discovers his artistic identity in a jazz dance class with Otabek and Mila. Along the way, Otabek unleashes his inner Channing Tatum, Yuri gets in touch with his inner Georgi, and Yakov probably loses more hair. Welcome to the madness.

If I Ever Get the Nerve by FakePlasticSnow, mature, 2k

Part 2 of the Yuri Plisetsky vs. Adulting series

“Thinking Out Loud did not lend itself well to a club mix, so corny speech it is.”

Proposing was intimidating enough on its own, but how the fuck was one supposed to propose to Yuri “Married People Suck” Plisetsky? While coming up with 15 reasons to convince him, Otabek looks back on the last five years.

Otayuri RPF by kalakagatha, mature, 1.8k

@yurizangel OMG @otafurry, what are you doing tagging Yuri in your fic link? Don’t do that shit! Hashtags, not @-signs! #stupidnewb #rpfhasrules

@iceicetiger Do we have to go over the ten RPF commandments again? DO NOT SHARE THE RPF WITH THE RP. @yurizangel @otafurry

Yuri discovers Figure Skating RPF.

Like A Sun, It Burns by CalamityK, teen, 1.8k, warning: angst

Mila points out that maybe Yuri looks at Otabek a little differently, a bit too long, and a bit too starry-eyed.

“When he’s in the room, Yura, you barely have eyes for anything else.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“He’s your sunlight. You’re brighter when you’re with him.”

In a way, Yuri thinks, Otabek does kind of burn like the sun.

Cat Shirts and Creepsters by Kiraly, teen, 1.8k

Yuri and Otabek are trying to get ready to go out, but Yuri can’t find a shirt to wear. Otabek helps.

Liquor Stash by Severe_Minx, explicit, 39k, WIP

I want him.

When the full realisation hit him, Yuri felt as though he couldn’t breathe. Detached and fleeting thoughts that had passed through his mind finally took shape in these three words at that exact moment. The I being himself, Yuri Plisetsky, age 17, a Russian figure skater with a list of impressive accomplishments to his name that seemed pretty pointless right now given the context. The want being desire, the need to bury himself, the thought to consume, but never actually act out except behind locked doors in empty beds or shower stalls. The him being the person standing across from Yuri sipping coffee from a take-away cup with creased brows, the low sunlight hitting his face just so to light up his otherwise dark eyes. Someone he considered to be his best friend, who came all the way from Almaty just to spend a week with him and who was blissfully unaware of the fucking turmoil Yuri was feeling in the pit of his stomach. Or at least, Yuri hoped he was unaware.

In which Yuri Plisetsky invites Otabek Altin over to stay with him in Saint Petersburg, freaks out over his feelings and delves into Lilia’s liquor stash.

In the Land of the Wanderers by alpha_hydra, teen, 26k

“You have to use your Instagram more if we’re going to be friends, Altin,” Yuri warns when Otabek assumes Yuri is only waiting for Nikiforov and Katsuki to finish groping each other. “It’s no fun otherwise.”

Later, Otabek thinks of Yuri every time he pulls his phone out, and that’s really where it starts.

Hey, Jealousy by RC_McLachlan, general audiences, 4k

There are few things that give Yuri pleasure—the taste of accomplishment like cinnamon sugar on the back of his tongue after landing a quad; having a comeback so cutting that he practically draws blood; that soft murrf a cat makes when it decides it trusts him; the little green screenshot arrow appearing next to Otabek’s name in Snapchat—but they all pale in comparison to whenever the Russian hockey team visits the rink.

Every Time I Try, Every Time I Win by thissupposedcrime, teen, 4.7k

At least no one’s brought up couples costumes. Yuri isn’t sure how Otabek would react to a live recording of him leaping over a table to fight a reporter, a symbolic stand in for the death of Yuri’s sanity and Victor’s cutesy legacy. He guesses not well, and that is enough to hold his tongue.

Or, Otabek is naturally romantic, Yuri is naturally clueless, and somehow they work it out.

Wondering by lovelyisthenight (IrishFaerie01), teen, 964

He’d already come to terms with the fact that he doesn’t want it. And now, having to deal with the fact that he does, maybe, is… well, it’s a little terrifying.

ciel-no-phuntomhive  asked:

Hello! I know that you have gotten many questions/translation requests on the new chapter already, but just in case nobody asks I'd like to know more about what Our!Ciel's internal dialogue says on the final page of the chapter, I've not only read that the more accurate translation means "extra" but also that in this context it reads as "I'm not important/I'm not as important" and I'd like to know whether or not this is true? Thank you for taking your time to read this :)

Hi there!

Yeah, I had a discussion with my friend about that very “spare/extra” thing shortly after the YenPress translation came out on Tuesday and since I’m too lazy to explain it I’ll just post the screenshot of our discussion^^;

Tl;dr: I guess YP translated the word “omake” as “spare” because of the phrase “heir and spare” in English, but actually, “omake” doesn’t really mean “spare” but more like “bonus, extra”:

Some might say there’s no big difference between “spare” and “extra” since it doesn’t change the fact that our Ciel has an extremely low self-esteem, but I for one think there is a slight difference in the nuance, so I personally disagree with the YP translation! x(


Me after reading the last page in English: Nooooo, bocchan, don’t call yourself a “spare”, that’s too sad…!! (T_T)

Me after reading the last page in Japanese: Lol, if I’d get such a cute sweet little child like our Ciel for free, then I’d buy 100 real Ciels.

Danny DeVetoed

Context: We had just finished clearing out half a mine full of undead, bugbears and spiders before the big bad ambushes us and brings the other half of the dungeon with him after us trying to take a rest outside. We make it, but barely, and the mine owner thanks us.

Dwarf: I say you all deserve a reward. I can’t give you anything now, but once I get the mine running I can give you ten percent of the profits.

Now picture Danny DeVito, but a Tiefling, stepping up and a bit miffed that he’s not getting any cash for his work.

Tiefling Rogue: Only ten? Dude, if it wasn’t for us, you wouldn’t even have a mine. 20% seems fair, right?

Dwarf: Twenty?! I still have to pay for work, shipping costs, etcetera. I can’t afford that.

Me, the sorcerer: You’re going to hire Kobolds, aren’t you?

Dwarf: Maybe…

Rogue: Here, I’ll even give ya an idea. We found a magic thingamajig inside that makes magic weapons. Only lasts a li'l while though, so ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh ya charge em again for a recharge. Want to keep yo’ magical flaming sword flaming? Gotta pay the price. Eh? Ehhhhhh?

DM: Mmmmmmmm, roll for persuasion.

Uses his inspiration from making a sandwich earlier and rolls a 3 and a 6. 2nd/3rd time he had rolled those numbers with advantage that session.

Dwarf: Ten percent or nothing. Take it or leave it.

And he starts walking away.

To this day, he keeps talking about that magical recharge scheme, and we have yet to see this ten percent. But we did stop by a few days after before leaving the area to see he’d hired a bunch of Kobolds.

Elephant in the Room

Melizbeauty. In every post that’s mainly to her, people call her “she” as if she’s Voldemort like “oh she who must not be nammmed” or they just don’t directly address her at all and I’m gonna address something reaalll fast. (Maybe not fast) Also, do not go to her inbox and start sending insults and death threats, guys..C’mon, as..hopefully good humans, we’re better than that, aren’t we..? Whether you agree with her or not, going to her messages, inbox, etc. and sending horrible and nasty things is..really unnecessary so please don’t. 

Edit: I now feel the need to say that you need to read this carefully and understand the points I’m making. This post’s focus is not V and Rika’s relationship. Read everything instead of reading just a small bit and being rude about what I’ve said. I’m trying to be level headed instead of just going off the chain and being a complete douche, so please, understand that before you comment or reblog this. 

Keep reading


A/N: @letsrebelprincess sorry this took so long, and I’m honored I got your first request :D. Hope you enjoy!

Damian didn’t understand why he still had to attend Gotham Academy. He already knew everything on the curriculum, and Alfred could very easily homeschool him, if only to appease the government. But Father and Alfred insisted, for reasons lost to Damian. What could he possibly gain from fraternizing with the imbeciles at the academy?

Alas, on Monday morning Damian found himself at Gotham Academy, glowering at every person within five feet of him. He memorized his schedule in three seconds, and memorized the school’s layout in eight. His classmates’ names weren’t worth remembering–they were all useless to him anyway. Father and Alfred were mistaken to send him here.

Damian trudged to his first period class, silently bemoaning his situation. He settled into a desk that he knew the teacher would subconsciously pay less attention to and spent the rest of the morning fending off fakes trying to cozy up to him. He groaned when the teacher announced an icebreaker, and he glared at the student paired with him. They responded with a raised eyebrow, but nonetheless attempted to make conversation.The day ticked by at a snail’s pace, and at long last Damian flew out the academy’s doors, glad to be free–at least until the next morning.

Two days passed, then three, then four, and soon several uneventful months had flown past him. He saw more of the student he’d talked to on that first day–they shared more than a few classes, and he kept talking to them, if only as an excuse to get rid of his human satellites. “Do you not see that I am occupied right now?”

As time passed, Damian found his thoughts returning to them more and more often. “Not in a romantic context, Grayson. Shut up.” If there was one person in the school that warranted his attention, then it would be Y/N. They were sensible, thoughtful, and kind, never hesitating to stand up for others, unlike most of the nameless fools in the academy. They–

“Demon spawn, shut it. You’re head over heels, so just ask em out already.”

“Jason! You know that these things take time–”

“Dick, at the rate he’s babbling I wouldn’t be surprised if they figured it out by Friday and asked him to that dance of theirs in two weeks.”

So maybe Damian did think of his first-day partner in a romantic context. As much as he hated to admit it, Todd had a point. Damian needed to court Y/N before someone else snatched them up for the dance. Such delicate matters needed to be planned carefully…


Damian groaned, clapping his hands to his face. All his attempts at courting Y/N were unsuccessful. He tried to speak with them more, but time had turned against him; passing periods were woefully short. Lunch had not been any better, for Y/N’s friends had whisked them away and Damian did not wish to disturb them, lest he come off as rude and pushy. Y/N left immediately after school as well, taking any remaining opportunity for Damian to interact with them.

When Damian finally managed to secure Y/N’s attention, he had but one week left before the dance. Unfortunately, Y/N did not seem to be aware of his interest. He thought it would be obvious–Damian did not waste his time speaking with the fools in the school. Perhaps Y/N had simply grown accustomed to his company. A different approach was needed.

Damian tried gifts: snacks, appealing school supplies, and small trinkets, but Y/N accepted them with grateful smiles and made no mention of Damian’s interest. Damian even asked Y/N on dates–he brought Y/N to the Gotham boardwalk, to Y/N’s favorite cafe, even to Wayne Manor. But it seemed that Y/N assumed the outings were merely “friends hanging out.”

Todd’s laughter was going to drive Damian insane.

“Demon Spawn, listen to me! Just ask em to the dance! They’ll get it then.”

And so, with more than a little hesitation, Damian found himself facing you two days before the dance. Miraculously, his voice remained clear and unwavering.

“Y/N, would you care to join me at the dance?”

“Of course, Damian. As friends? Or like–”

“No, no. Er, I would like you to join me at the dance as…perhaps something more than friends, if you so care to.”

“Oh. Uh, yes–I would–like to join you at the dance.”

Jason had never seen Damian smile so much.

genzelda  asked:

This just occurred to me.. How do we know Bendy is a guy? I mean, I only called them a he cause everyone else is but is he really a he? You see posters on the wall saying "Bendy in Little Devil Darlin'" or "Bendy in The Dancing Demon" but they're wearing a tutu. Not saying men can't wear tutus but it just seems a bit out of place for the time era. Correct me if I'm wrong. I just don't remember them calling Bendy a he or him.

Granted, you’re right – the fanbase does seem to have jumped to a conclusion about his gender, since nothing in the actual game calls Bendy male or female.  However, take a look at the context clues – he’s a main character who’s meant to be from the 1930s era of cartoons, when most of them were male or at least had a prominent male costar.

He’s also dressed in nothing but boots, gloves, and a bowtie, which is reminiscent of other more masculine designs of the era.  Women just didn’t wear bowties as much in media back then, especially cartoons – characters were designed to read as clearly and immediately as possible, so a traditionally masculine garment like a bowtie meant that a character was male.  A flower cap and a skirt and bloomers typically meant female, save for when it was used in a crossdressing gag (which was VERY VERY common for the time; dudes crossdressed all the time in cartoons).

Well, all that, and the creator calls him a guy.

Bendy’s a dude. :V