Care For Him (Care For Series)
Thorin Oakenshield x Healer!reader ft. The Company + Bilbo + Gandalf
Genre: angst (But it gets better in Pt.3)
Sequel to Care for the Company
A/N: Part 3 will be the final part and it may be long ass if you guys like that stuff?
PREVIOUS (Care for the Company)
After that night, I did not pursue Thorin. I knew that I would never be up to his standards and that what would had probably would not last that long. I kept my distance as much as possible, always volunteering to do duties to keep myself busy or doing patrols through the campsites whenever I could.
Many of the company noticed myself distancing from the group, especially Kili and Fili. But I ignored this and continued on with my instincts since I had already made up a plan. Once Erebor was reclaimed I would return to the Shire with Bilbo who had asked me quite a while back at the beginning of our journey. And I wasn’t about to give up an offer as such.
We continued on our journey, going through the the dark forests that were filled with illusions after we were trapped by a herd of spiders. I was able to escape only just while the others were captured. I sat in the high trees above, watching silently as they were taken in by the elves of Mirkwood.
I followed on, slipping in without being seen due to being so quiet in my footsteps while the elves marched like Gods amongst the halls. I slipped through the majestic hallways before coming to the under grotto, coming to the wine cellars where the elves ran about. I hid behind one of the large craters, watching as they drunk the King’s wine before all dispersing to continue with their work.
I watched carefully as one of them had the keys, placing them lazily on the table and following the others away. I smiled and pulled a sleeping draft, slipping it into the bottles on the table before grabbing the keys.
I slipped back upstairs, gasping when I sighted the sly King Thranduil and his son Legolas coming my way, I hid behind a large pillar, hearing them banter to each other, something about trying to cut off any paths that the dwarfs could use.
I gasped at this, freezing as I heard the two elves halt at this. In the reflection of the marble floor, I saw a large tall figure hasten closer, making me hold my breath before the King was distracted by his servants who summoned him to meeting.
I sighed at this and remembered the wine cellar, knowing that that was probably the best way out. After they had disappeared, I made my way to the dungeons quietly, the guards having been let off of duty early to have celebrations for a festival that was taking place.
I look around at all the cells, watching all the dwarves, dressed in only their tunics, looking in disdain and hopelessness as Ori whimpered softly, ‘Were never going reach the mountain now …’
At this I smiled, turning to Thorin’s cell and jingling the keys, ‘Not stuck in here are we?’ He looks up from the ground at this in shock, jumping to his feet and grabbing the bars of the cell in shock as Balin cried out my named but I instantly shushed him, and the others who also cheered, ‘Do you all want to be caught again?! Hush up!’
I turned back to Thorin’s cell, unlocking it quickly, sending him a small smile before running off to see to unlocking the other cells.
The rest of it all was a blur. Barreling down Mirkwood’s great ravines as the Elves pursued us, tumbling and fighting all at once as the Orcs ambushed the Elves, taking them out as they fought to follow us in our tracks.
I hung onto Dori’s barrel tightly, screaming out as they attacked us shooting arrows and throwing weapons of sort which some of the dwarfs caught, attacking back. I looked upwards to see that their was a dip of water coming up as well as a rock, knowing that it wouldn’t be possible to avoid it. I pushed off the barrel, sending Nori safely into the other barrels as I was dragged under the current with a scream.
I flailed and lost my footing of the lake floor as I fell into the deeper waters, my eyes widened as I fought towards the surface, gasping as I broke through, struggling to keep afloat.
Kili looked around at the sound of my screaming, his eyes widened as he cried out to me, many also turning as I was dragged back deep into the murky depths. I was struggling now to fight and swim to the surface, my body becoming weak at a quickening pace before my eyes were beginning to become heavy.
Faintly I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist strongly and firmly, dragging me my like a rag doll through the waters before we broke through the surface yet again. I gasped in horror, my eyes widening in shock as I was hit with precious fresh air, cough and spluttering as I felt someone rubbing my back.
I looked up in shock to find Fili, his eyes widened in horror. ’Are you all right?’ He said under his breath as I gasped softly for breath, nodding to him as he let out a great sigh of relief.
He brought me into his chest, holding me close and tightly as he rubbed my back, gently and comfortingly. I couldn’t help my cling to him, hiding my face in the crook of his neck as I whimpered softly, allowing him to hum against my ear, ’Shh, its okay your safe now.’
I heard our names being called loudly, looking up to see the others on the riverbank, all drenched and watching us fearfully at the sight of me almost lifelessly in Fili’s arms. He held me in his arms steadily as he brought us to the shore, my legs feeling nothing but jelly.
He held me up as he helped me up, almost being knocked off of my feet as Thorin placed his hands on my shoulders, his eyes looking me up and down in worry, ‘Are you all right? Are you hurt?’
‘I’m fine Thorin,’ I say, pushing him off instantly, shoving his hands off of me. I was back to normal again, my walls back in protection mode. Fili sighed as I pulled away from him pushed past Thorin roughly, before sitting down on an abandoned boulder.
I sighed softly to myself, breathing steady again as the dwarfs looked between each other as I sat in utter silence. Thorin looked at me, making his way over slowly and opening his mouth to say something when suddenly we sighted a bowman, pointing at Ori who sat as still as a statue, ‘Move, and your dead.’
At this Balin stepped forward instantly at this, raising his hands in the notion of peace as he spoke to the young human, Bard. They negotiated, and we were able to get a ride to Lake Town.
I look out to the open waters, ignoring the soft bickering of the other dwarfs. I had never felt at peace like this moment, it was the best feeling to just feel nothing but pure serenity. But this moment ended when I felt a gentle touch at the arm, making me turn instantly to find Thorin beside me.
I instantly went to move away but he grabs my arm, pulling me back to his side.
‘What do you want Thorin?’ I mumble softly, trying not to make eye contact with him, struggling to do so as he stared at me like i was the last thing on earth. He turned my head gently, ‘Look at me Y/N.’
I ignored this. ‘Y/N, please …’ At the sound of his cracking voice I readied myself and looked up at the dwarf, and almost broke. His eyes were cracked at the sight of me, tears nearly spilling as I looked into his eyes, ‘Why don’t you look at me? Why don’t you talk to me?’
‘There is nothing to talk about Thorin-’
‘And I guess that night was nothing right?’ He said pinching the bridge of his nose. At this I sighed, looking away but was stopped as he held my chin firmly, a chill running down my spine as he did, ‘Don’t pretend like you didn’t feel anything. When I touched you.’
He ran his fingertips across my cheek lovingly, causing me to gasp as he continued, ‘When I looked at you.’ I couldn’t help but look up as he said this, placing his forehead against mine. ‘Tell me you didn’t feel anything …’
I looked up at him, wanting nothing more than to take him into my arms and hug him, to kiss him, to love him. But I shut my eyes tightly, whispering painfully, ‘No, I did feel. It not just that.’
‘What do you mean-’
‘Its not you Thorin, its not you at all!’ I said as I pulled away, allowing him to only hold my hand gently and firmly, his eyes wide with heartache, ‘It’s not you, its me. I-I-’
I began to stutter as the tears fell down my face slowly, shocking Thorin as he took my hands into his own firmly and comfortingly, ‘Its-Its complicated, its hard to explain …’
‘Please …’ He said, now holding my face in his hands gently, wiping away my tears. I shook my head, ‘I’m sorry I can’t Thorin … I just can’t …’
And I pulled away, padding to the other side of the boat to sit next to Kili and Baldin quietly, wiping my tears slowly as I watched Thorin sigh in defeat, his own tears falling in the shadow of the moonlight.
Kili watched me silently, shaking his head as he whispered, ‘You shouldn’t plague yourself so much with negativity. You and Thorin … you deserve to be happy.’
I sat beside Kili, dabbing his head as his fever began to finally lower as Tauriel, an elf from Mirkwood who had followed us, had performed a healing spell upon him to heal him extraordinarily fast. And someone who was in love with him heavily, just from a simple look it could be told. I had decided to stay behind and look after Kili, much to Thorin’s dislike, but I dismissed him and wanted to help a friend out.
I smiled as he opened his eyes finally, smacking him lightly on the shoulder, ‘You should’ve told us that the wound was so great, we would’ve been able to treat you sooner instead of you wailing like a headless chicken.’
He just smiled lightly, ‘I didn’t want to act weak in front of Thorin Y/N, and yet he just seemed to pick up my weaknesses in a heartbeat.’
‘He didn’t. Thorin was just looking out for you. I know how much this means to both you and Fili, but you should also prioritise your life. That’s why Thorin is so careful with you numheads,’ I said as I wiped the sweat from his forehead gently. He smiled at this, ‘You do care a lot for him don’t you?’
I give a pointed look as he just smiles, shaking my head, ‘Don’t even go there Kili, you know we’ve already spoken about this.’
‘I’m just saying you-’
‘Uh!’ I say instantly, placing a hand over his mouth tightly, ‘Enough, now rest. And there is someone here to see you …’
At this I instantly moved away, giving a gentle smile to Tuariel who also returned it before going to Kili’s side. I walked to the small kitchen area of Bard’s home, watching quietly as Tauriel and Kili whispered words of love and wanting to each other.
A twinge of jealousy hit me, making turn away as the tears began to fall slowly. A jealousy that was against their love. I thought instantly of Thorin, of how much he was willing to give up for his people, for his company, for his friends, for the ones he loved, and how much he wanted to love me. But if it weren’t for my past and stupidity, I wouldn’t wait another second to be with Thorin.
I wiped away my tears with a sigh, looking up at the mountain, watching as the sun inked the sky in blood and fire, hoping that things would turn out for the better. Maybe I could fix what was between Thorin and I, and make him happy.
But that was not what we met on the lonely mountain, at Erebor. Thorin was now under the Dragon sickness of the treasure, and when I had first seen him, if it were for Kili I would’ve keeled right over right then and there.
Thorin looked older than any other time that I had seen him. Wrinkles creased beneath his eyes, cheeks and upon his forehead, his lips creased and dry. His calmness and kindness, turned to nothing but hatred and anger. And his eyes, oh his eyes. They were nothing but grey, the oceanic blue that I had fallen for were now gone. All for the Arkenstone, the heart of the mountain.
‘He’s changed, my Uncle. And if he doesn’t change up soon, things will turn ugly,’ I turn at this to Kili who stares up at the stars as we stand on the canopy. I nod at this silently before he goes back inside the mountain.
I leant against a broken pillar, looking out over the land that was drenched in moonlight, open and beautiful, watching as the fires burned and the people of Lake town took refuge in Dale, along with the elves who all prepared for the coming fight that may occur in the next few days.
I thought of the company, all who had shed their tears in private, Balin having taken a blow pretty heavily at the fact that his King was now just like his Grandfather. I was trying to keep it together, all for the sake of the company and tried to keep spirits high as much as possible, telling them to never give in.
I heard the tumble of rumble and was instantly on my feet, pulling my weapon out only to see Bilbo who had his hands up in the air at this, ‘Its just me.’ I sigh at this, rubbing my face, ‘I apologise, I’m so on edge at the moment.’
‘I know, I guess we all are to an extent …’ I smile at him at this, but notice his usual nervousness has taken over his manner, twiddling his thumbs and bouncing on the balls of his feet as he muttered, ‘The-There is something I-I must tell you Y/N.’
‘Yes what is it?’ I said, looking around cautiously before looked back to see the Arkenstone, that beautiful wretched stone, now in his hands, ‘Where did you-’
‘I’ve had it this whole time, ever since I left the mountain after entering it alone. I took it because I thought that Smaug was wrong about the whole Dragon Sickness. But he was right, and I reckon that this will be the only way to get our freedom,’ I sigh at his words, wanting to reply until I heard heavy footsteps close by.
I look to Bilbo, who’s stoned, pushing him behind a lone pillar as he stuffed the great stone down his tunic. I turned to find Thorin, wrapped up in his thick furs and his large golden crown placed on his head firmly making me want to cringe in disgust.
‘What are you doing out here on your own?’ He said, his voice cold and low. I gulp at this and give him a small smile, ‘I-I was just out here to get some air Thorin.’
Thorin looked at me curiously, his eyebrows furrowing, ‘Are you hiding something from me? Have you also turned your back on me like the rest of the company?’ My eyes widened at this, anger boiling in me, ‘Your not serious? Are you that selfish that your blinded by your hunger for the Arkenstone?’
‘Don’t push me,’ He growled, his body spiked in instant rage as he grabbed me violently, making me gasp out as he pulled me close to him almost nose to nose, fear trickling down my spine.
‘Don’t you dare try and tell me how to act! I am your King! Know your rightful place you low life or I’ll throw you off the wall if you don’t learn to follow orders … Do you not like taking orders from your King, scum?’
‘No I don’t like it! I don’t like it one bit!’ I screamed in his face, pushing roughly away from me, feeling almost sick at his very touch. My body was hot with anger now, crying out. ‘But that doesn’t matter to you either does it? As long as the company here to follow orders, you don’t care what we care or how we feel? Or how I FEEL! Where is the Thorin that always checked on us, always wanted what was best for us?’
At this he blinked, widening his eyes and shaking his head, making me confused as he whispered, stepping away from me as he did, ‘I-I am sorry. I apologise for my temper I-I did not mean to frighten you. Forgive me.’ At this he let out a great sob softly, and my heart softened at the sight but I knew I mustn’t fall for it.
But as a distraction, I placed my arms around the King, turning him away from the wall, ‘Its okay Thorin, I understand that you may be under some stress about-your prized possession. Lets go back inside, shall we?’ He nodded at this, gasping as if almost out of breath, ‘Yes-Yes I must check on the progress of the search for the stone-’
I looked over my shoulder discreetly to see Bilbo giving me a sad smile before disappearing behind the wall. This better work Bilbo.
‘No-No its real. I took it as my 14th share of the treasure.’ I cringed at this. The sun had now risen over the land, shining upon the dwarves and elven armour, silence reigning as the words fell from Bilbo’s lips.
The other company members, now all stacked up and lathered in armour at their King’s orders, stood in a shocked silence, all staring between Bilbo and Thorin, who now turned in a deadly manner before whispering, ‘You? You would dare to steal from me?’
‘Steal? No I know I’m a burglar but I like to think I am an honest one,’ Bilbo said with a sad smile on his lips, ‘I was going to give it to you, many times I was going to give it to you-’
‘But what thief? Why didn’t you give it to me?’ Thorin spat out angrily, obviously trying to keep his rage at bay before Bilbo looked up with him with a certain determination, ‘You have changed Thorin.’
Suddenly the King laughed aloud, shocking us with his maniacal laughter that rang out through the steady silence. He smiled around at us before looking down at the hobbit, ‘I’ve changed? I have not changed you liar-’
‘Yes … you have.’ At this I stepped forward, standing beside Bilbo who looked at me in shock, mirroring the dwarves’ expressions, including Thorin, ‘What-’
‘You have changed Thorin Oakenshield,’ I said, staring at him, leaning my body forward as I spat the words out, tired of pretending everything was all right when really it wasn’t, ‘The Dwarf I fell in love with never would’ve backed down on his word! Or even questioned the loyalty of his Kin!’
His eyes lingered with tears as I said this, but that was gone in an instant. He sneered at me at this, shaking his head, ‘You, you have deceived me! You have gone against your King you traitors! But … I will spare you, lass. Throw the Hobbit over the wall’
Bilbo looked up at this in shock as I looked to the rest of the company, watching as they didn’t move at inch at his orders, not even Fili who he dragged along who pulled himself from his Unce’s grasp until he looked to us in absolute rage, his eyes had turn to a dark grey, almost black even, a shiver running down my spine, growling, ’I’ll do it myself.’
In a rush of adrenaline, I drew my sword, raising it in defence, standing before Bilbo, shocking the company as they gasped in horror, but Thorin took no notice. He raised his fist at me but I dodged him, kneeing him in the groin succefully as he groaned, I pushed him to the floor, pointing my sword at him.
I stared dow at him tearfully as I muttered softly, ‘He goes free, or you kill us both.’ At this Bilbo grasped my arm tightly, trying to waver me of my desicion as his voice shook, ‘Don’t do this, its not worth it. Your life is more valuable than mine. We both know who he’ll miss more when he snaps out of the sickness.’
I shake my head at this firmly, only peeking a look at the hobbit who had tears in his eyes, ‘Its both of us or nothing Bilbo. I will not have someone die just because of someone else’ greed, even if its the one I love with all my heart!’
But that split second of distraction changed it all, Thorin had his hand grasped around my throat, instantly winding me, slamming me against the wall that shut the outside world off from Erebor, half of my body hanging from it and in thin air.
I could hear the faint screaming of Bard and Gandalf, but all I could do is look into Thorin’s eyes, only seeing darkness, darkness that I recognised.
I slam the heel of my palm into his face, sending it back and hearing him shout out in pain before escaping his firm grasp, grabbing Bilbo firmly as Bofur helped us run towards the chain that Bilbo had left hanging the night before as I heard the King roar, ‘YOU CHEATS! THIEVES!’
‘Come my dear, there is nothing we can do for Thorin now,’ Gandalf said, wrapping a protective arm around my shoulders, Bilbo walking directly beside me as we pushed through the army of the elves and away from Erebor. Tears that I had no recognition of fell down my face as I heard Thorin cry out, ‘I will have war!’