i just felt like telling a story :)

anonymous asked:

What do you do to make your art not boring? Some advise to tell stories or to just draw what you like, but I'm not sure what I like to begin with. I feel like what I draw may look correct technically, but it lacks personality (or something like that). Tips?

I felt that way about my work for a long time, too. I got really gungho about ‘learning the rules first’ before breaking them – but I took it a little far in school. I realized I had a bunch of technical skill but no voice. What helped me to develop it, albeit a little late, was to look back on all the media and art that inspired me – the works that really left an impression on me and kind of reminded me of why I wanted to become an artist.

I took it from there and kind of developed a style that tried to, at first, emulate all that – and eventually it kind of grew into its own thing.

Hope that helps!

do you know what gets me the most.

how joyous it was.

I didn’t know how much I needed that until it was over.  I honestly almost forgot stories could do that.  that no one has to die in the final act for it to be meaningful.  that it doesn’t have to be angst-riddled for it to make an impact.  that you can have the happiest goddamn ending imaginable - give everyone, every character, exactly what they want - and earn every second.  every single exultant moment.

god did they earn it.

it just filled me with light.  that’s the only way I can describe it.  it filled me with so much light and for someone who’s been really disheartened with the world lately I can’t even begin to tell you how invaluable that is.  stories matter.  I honestly in-my-soul believe it’s one of the most importantly human things we do and this one was full of love and hope and so much laughter and it felt like a win, didn’t it?  Griffin told us we would.  and we did.  and we’re gonna.

you know that MBMBaM thing they always say?  “No bummers”?

that’s TAZ man.  no bummers.  a MILLION HAPPY TEARS sure.  but bummers? 

nah.  we’re good out here.

Dating Incest Girls

My most recent ex girlfriends have told me detailed stories about their secret fun. A few years ago I was dating a 18f that had been fooling around with her real dad since she was 11. She had big boobs at 10 and she said her dad and friends took notice as she developed. Her parents spilt when she was 11 and she went and stayed with her dad for a bit. She said she tried to take her moms role, she would take care of him and then she started catching him jerk off. She said she would masturbate a lot thinking about taking him and him having his way with her. One day she walked in on him jerking off and she walked up to him as he was still stroking it and asked if she could watch. He agreed and jerked off for her as she started to get aroused she asked if she could help. He took her hand and guided it on to his thick curved cock and she said she was hooked from then on. She said she stroked it and they made out and she had her tits played with and sucked on. She was so wet and turned on that she wanted to do more. So she got on her knees and without asking she took her dads thick rock hard cock into her young warm wet mouth. She said that was her first cock and her daddy showed her how to suck it and stroke it (she deff had good dick handling abilities). She said he came in her mouth and she spit it up because it was so much. A few times of her catching him or him walking in on her in the shower and playing with each other she was ready to take let her dad take her virginity. She had plans on doing it on his bed and making it hot and romantic, but she ended up catching him jerk off to a dirty mag in his garage while he was working on his car. She went right up to him and dropped to her knees and told him “I thought we discussed this is my job” as she took his cock into her mouth. He let her suck on it and make it nice and wet. Then she got up and pulled her pants down and started rubbing and showing him her tight wet pussy. He picked her up and laid her back on the hood of his car and started licking her pussy and fucking her with his tongue. She said she came from his mouth and started begging for him to fuck her, he was on the fence about it. He teased her by rubbing his big thick head around her smooth wet pussy, then rubbing in out her clit. She said she couldn’t take the teasing anymore and pushed herself into him, forcing half his cock straight up into her. They both let out big moans and embraced each other and started making out as he slowly slide it all the way in. She just laid there while he filled her pussy up with all his cock. She said it was painful but the way he touched her and the way his cock curved it felt good really quick. He pumped her a few times slowly making her gasp and moan. Then she told him “harder daddy”, and he just stated pumping harder and faster into her. She said she was so wet from everything that it really diluted her blood from breaking her hymen, but looking down at her dads thick curved cock going in and out of her all shiny and wet made her his little slut right then and there. She said they went at it for about 10 mins or so and he pulled out and came all over her bit tits. 11 yrs old with almost size D bra, big perky tits cover in her dads cum. God I would of loved to seen that. I guess I’m lucky though, I did get to catch them when she was with me 18 at the time. We were stopping by her dad’s house where she was living at the time. She was going in to change and be right back out. Well I noticed the light on in her dad’s office/studio from out in the car. I seen this shadow blur across the curtains, realizing it was my girlfriend popping in to say hi to him. Then I noticed she dropped straight down instead of back out to the side like she came in view of the window. Then it hit me, she just dropped to her knees in front of him. Well I knew there was only one reason for her to do that, so I opened my door softly and then didn’t even close it just so they wouldn’t hear me trying to close my door and stop. I slowly snuck up to the window to his office and luckily there was a bit of the curtain open. When I looked in I was shocked! There was my gf on her knees holding her dads cock with one hand and cupping his balls with the other and licking up and down his shaft! I almost came in my pants right then and there, needless to say I had a rock hard cock then. She licked his shaft and then put it back in her naughty mouth and slide it all the way down with ease. You could deff tell she had been sucking that cock for a long time and knew how to work it. She was just gagging on it and then he stood up real quick took it out of her mouth and jerked it until he came all over her face. I was grabbing my rock hard cock through my pants not even realizing that I look like a big creep peeping in their window at night rubbing my cock. I watched as he took a shirt near by and gave it to her to clean her face off and decided to go back to the car before I’m spotted. I got back in the car and almost ripped my jeans because my cock was so hard. I took it out and started jerking off thinking about what I just seen with my own two eyes. Then I start thinking about all the stories she shared with me from the first time the had each other in the garage to that night she just sucked her dad off real quick while her bf waits out in the car. Never got to witness anything with any of my other ex girlfriends, but hopefully I can see something like that again. Still is the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced. BTW I never said anything to my ex gf about what I saw with her dad, she was open about telling me but I knew that she would of felt embarrassed if she knew I saw and knew it was absolutely real.

APRIL 3: Hayley Kiyoko (1991-)

From “Girls Like Girls,” to “Cliff’s Edge,” to “Sleepover,” Hayley Kiyoko has been giving us gay bop after gay pop, and so, we’d like to take today to celebrate the indie pop princess’s 26th birthday. Happy birthday Hayley!!

Although most of us have fallen in love with Hayley through her music career, she was also gracing our television screens long before many of us would have even thought of ourselves as girls who liked girls. Born April 3, 1991 in Los Angeles, Hayley was born to be an entertainer; her father is a comedian and an actor, while her mother is a former figure skater turned choreographer. Hayley first found herself in the spotlight at five years old when she began appearing in commercials and ad campaigns for companies like Slim Jim, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and JC Penny’s. Throughout her acting career, Hayley has starred in films such as Scooby Doo! The Mystery Begins, Scooby Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster, and Lemonade Mouth and has also been featured in television shows The Fosters and CSI: Cyber.

Despite the lengthy acting resume, music has always been Hayley’s first love. She began taking drum lessons when she was just six years old and was producing her own drum charts by the time she was eleven. After a brief stint with the musical group The Stunners, Hayley started releasing her own music in 2013 with the debut of her first E.P., A Belle to Remember. The song “Girls Like Girls” from her second E.P. This Side of Paradise served as a public coming out party. In an interview with Paper Magazine following the release of the “Girls Like Girls” music video, Hayley had this to say:

“When we shot the music video for ‘Girls like Girls,’ I felt like I was finally telling my story for the first time. The yearning feelings I had and also the feeling of being so alone. I think that’s why people connected with the music video. Not only because they too have experienced deeply liking someone, but also the sadness and longing that comes with it. You could be around so many people, and still have the feeling of being so alone and misunderstood.”

Hayley’s refusal to play coy or to reduce her sexuality to subtext is what has garnered her the huge following of young girls she has today. There are two things you can count on when you listen to a Hayley Kiyoko record – the insatiable need to dance around your bedroom, and the eerie feeling that you yourself wrote the lyrics sometime long ago in one of your prepubescent diaries – Hayley Kiyoko is to gay girls what Taylor Swift is to straight girls, a vital and viciously loved source of validation.  

-LC

Wanna know the truth behind Girls like Girls?

I have been working on finding my voice for years. As an artist, I always want everything I create to represent what my soul feels and sounds like – whether it’s a video concept or a lyric or melody.

Two years ago on a rare rainy day in Los Angeles, in a songwriting session with Owen Thomas and Lily May Young, I was venting my frustration about my music not connecting the way I wanted it to. Lily looked me in the eye and asked, “Tell me something nobody knows about you, something you are afraid to sing about?“ I immediately thought, well I like girls and that’s what I want to sing about, but even then I struggled to say it out loud. Finally, I told Lily that I always say “you” and “them" and never the pronoun “her" in all my songs because I was afraid it wouldn’t connect. We talked more about concepts and my experiences, and how I loved the idea of stealing another guy’s girl because that was always a fantasy of mine. Growing up, everything I did was always about girls. I took dance because of girls. I got involved in student council because of girls. Not that I ever expected any of them to like me back, but I just felt comforted being around them, even if I could never date them. So there we were. The song “Girls like Girls" was born.

I imagined a very emotional, heart-wrenching but real music video to go along with the song. When we shot the music video for “Girls like Girls,“ I felt like I was finally telling my story for the first time. The yearning feelings I had and also the feeling of being so alone. I think that’s why people connected with the music video. Not only because they too have experienced deeply liking someone, but also the sadness and longing that comes with it. You could be around so many people, and still have the feeling of being so alone and misunderstood. It’s that fear of rejection and uncertainty of whether the person will like you back that makes you question everything. I struggled with these feelings so much growing up. I’d fall in love with girls who would never give me the time of day, or if they would, they had no idea I had other intentions. I had my heart broken over and over again; I never felt good enough. My life was led by these crushes as far back as first grade, when I had a crush on my teacher. That was the first time I realized I liked girls. But the problem is you feel like you can’t share these true feelings with anyone for fear of outing yourself and facing judgement. So you struggle. And feel alone. Growing up, there were some [out] celebrities who were much older than I was and I wondered if I had to wait until then to be happy. I didn’t have role models who I could relate to at the time, where I could think, if they can do it, I can do it.

Most of the time, you become confident after years of struggling during your young adulthood. I want to encourage the youth to find that confidence now. Not later. For them to know their own self-worth at an earlier age. It’s been really cool at my concerts to see all of these young fans showing up alone, and then leaving with friends. The music and stories I create have built this judgement-free safe zone. But most of all, they have inspired me to be comfortable with myself, and to let them in. They unintentionally gave me a gift that I am forever grateful for. Most of my music isn’t necessarily about heartbreak or other people, but more so everyone’s personal journey and falling in love with yourself.

I think that’s why my fans and I relate to each other. My music reassures them that they aren’t alone – that their feelings are valid, that they are enough and they will find someone to love them back. I didn’t have that hope growing up, so I get emotional and inspired (or encouraged) every time I meet a fan who looks at me that way.

It’s hard sometimes, especially after this election, because I feel a responsibility to these girls. I know they are looking to me for guidance and comfort. It breaks my heart that fear is so present in our world right now. School is hard enough and it breaks my heart to see these kids under attack by hate crimes and bullying.

Hope. That’s my cause. I strive to inspire hope through human compassion and through music. Hope leads me through my lyrics, stories, and melodies. You must continue on, and know in your heart you are not alone, and have confidence that love will find its way back to you.

Shortly after the overdose, Bob decided to tell Jack the story of why he really got put in the Stanley Cup as a baby.  It was Bob’s way of thanking the cup.

“After I won my first cup,” he told Jack, “I realized I’d achieved my dream, and I had married this amazing woman, but something still felt like it was missing.  I wanted to be a father.”  He told Jack how he and Alicia had tried to have a baby, but it just wasn’t happening.  As the months dragged on with more of the same, they started to get worried.  

“And even when you were worrying you’d never truly be happy you managed to win the cup again, yeah?  That’s the moral of the story?” Jack snapped.  Bob shook his head, reached out to run a hand over Jack’s back, like he could smooth down his son’s frayed nerves.  

“Non, non, non, that would be a terrible moral.  Actually my stats were worse that year than when I was a rookie.  But my team was incredible, and we made it to the cup again.  And here’s where the story gets good, you see, because I’d heard all kinds of wild legends through the league about ‘cup magic’ and how sometimes it would grant wishes”

“Or turn you into a fucking penguin,” Jack scoffed.

“Well I was playing for the Canadiens at the time, so I suppose there wasn’t much risk involved, but there was a whole lot of desperate hope.So on my cup day, after everyone else left, I sat down and had a chat with it,” he gestures to the table they’re sitting at.  “Right at this kitchen table.”

“Please tell me that’s the only part of this story that happened at this table,” Jack groaned.  Bob laughed.

This story, yes.”

“Papaaaa,”  Jack picked up his bowl of cereal and pointedly continued eating without letting his food touch the table.

“Oh for God’s sake, Jack, this table has been cleaned many times since, put your food down for a bit, I’m trying to have a moment with you here.”

“Alright, alright, fine.”  Jack obediently set the bowl aside and faced his father.

“As I was saying…” Bob cleared his throat.  “I talked to the cup.  I told it I didn’t care if I ever won it again.  All I wanted was a son.  If it would give me that, I promised, I wouldn’t ask to win so much as a faceoff for the rest of my life.  And I promised that I would love my son - that I would love you - unconditionally, more than anything in the world.”

“And you won a fuckton more awards anyway.”

“But,” Bob countered, “I didn’t win the cup again until after you were born when I was with the Pens.  And so when your mother brought you onto the ice to see me, I wanted us to put you in the cup, but it wasn’t supposed to pass along some kind of hockey magic and ensure the Zimmermann dynasty or whatever the fuck ESPN likes to say, alright?  We did it as a thank you.  We wanted the cup to see what a beautiful baby we had, and to feel how incredibly loved you were.”  Bob ran a hand over Jack’s newly-cropped hair, feeling the strands against his palm, almost as soft as when he used to sit next to Bob in his high chair smashing banana all over the tray.  “I kept my promise too,”  Bob said.  “I love you.  Unconditionally.  More than anything in the world.  And your mother and I just want to help you be happy, whatever that looks like.”  He smiled warmly at his son, letting all the pride he usually kept a lid on to keep from embarrassing Jack bubble up to the surface.  Jack looked down at his hands.

“How can you not be disappointed?  Look at me.”  Jack’s shoulders hunched in, shrinking him down, and Bob pressed his hand between Jack’s shoulder blades, rubbing circles in the way that always used to put him right to sleep as a child.

“I will always be proud of you, hockey or no.  Because you know what?”  Jack chanced a glance up at his father’s face and was held by his earnest expression.  “Winning the Stanley Cup isn’t even in my top hundred favorite memories anymore.  All of my best memories are with you and your mother.”  Jack didn’t say anything in response, and Bob was learning when to give him space to process, so he stood up, bending back down to kiss his son’s forehead as he snagged the now-soggy bowl of raisin bran from in front of him.

It took a few days for Bob to get a real response from Jack, and in the meantime he just left everything to percolate.  And then one night, Bob just couldn’t seem to fall asleep.  His knee wasn’t quite hurting, but it was on that edge where it just didn’t feel settled, and Alicia had been snoring, and at the back of his head he could feel some kind of humming, like he could feel the tense air in Jack’s room.  He’d gotten himself all worked up mulling that last one over until he had to get out of bed.  He stood in front of Jack’s bedroom door, looking at the light peeking out from below the doorjamb for minutes, listening to the sounds of floorboards creaking occasionally, pages rustling, a keyboard clacking.  After he’d gotten enough of the sounds of Jack just existing on the other side of the door to calm his racing heart, he went to the living room.  

He settled into the couch with a box of crackers and a nature documentary when he heard footsteps creaking on the stairs.  At first, he was expecting Alicia coming to call him back to bed, but the footfalls were too loud for her.  Bob tried not to look surprised when Jack rounded the corner, keeping his eyes carefully trained on Animal Planet.  He held up the crackers in greeting.

“Joining your old man for a midnight snack, eh?”

“Oh.  Um, sure.”  Jack padded over to the couch and made himself comfortable next to Bob, pulling down the afghan from the back of the sofa.  They stare at the TV in silence for a long while before Jack speaks up again, quietly.  “Papa?”

“Yes?”

“So…what exactly was better than winning the cup?”

The first time I tried to come out to someone I was ten years old and in primary school.
I told a person who was supposed to be one of my best friends. She listened.
The next day when I came to school she had told the twins; my other friends and they all laughed at me and avoided me for days on end. I knew there was something wrong with me then, see!?? So I told them I was just joking and of course I didn’t like girls that way, I’M NOT GAY!
The next time I tried, I told my cousin, my other best friend. She didn’t say a lot about it and just kind of changed the subject. The next time I saw her she asked me if I was being serious with a screwed up look on her face that hit me in the gut like disgust. I felt so sick, am I sick?! There is something so wrong with me. I told her no, of course I wasn’t, I’M NOT GAY, NO REALLY, DEFINITELY!
I started high school desperately trying to be cool, to be normal, to just fit in, why couldn’t I be like all of them? Every now and then someone in the halls would call me a fucking lesbian. It took me right back to those laughs that I heard when I was ten. I was still friends with the same girls who’s laugher haunted me and one night I slept over at their house. They had a brother who was a couple of years older and I thought I might have had a crush on him. It was juvenile wishful thinking. I ended up in his room with the door closed, in the darkness putting his dick in my mouth. After that I asked if I could go home because I was homesick - but I was just sick, I didn’t like anything about him or his dick. I felt so empty and so alone knowing that I was not normal, I was not like any of them. I sat in the bathtub with the door locked at 1am brushing my teeth and trying to erase the stain of what happened.
I came to school on Monday, and people were looking at me. They were talking behind hands and snickering. Someone had told someone and then someone told everyone and they all knew. My mind flew out the second story window in math as a girl passed me a note telling me I was gross and a fucking slut. If anything I thought it would shut them all up? Isn’t that what normal girls do, they like boys and they don’t leave their balls blue?! I had no idea what in the fuck I was supposed to do.
I drifted away from them all, I’d still see them in the halls but we hardly ever talked anymore. I found out that there were certain boys that stayed seperate from the jocks, and their flocks, so I started hanging out with them. They didn’t really care about much of anything and for once I felt a tiny bit of what I thought was belonging. Of course I engaged in ridiculous dating charades where I was one of their girlfriends. We’d occasionally kiss and hold hands and that was it, and I thought it might finally look like I fit. But I still heard it, from time to time “HEY DYKE, ARE YOU A LEMON OR A LIME?” I’d just put my head down and hide. I’d hide behind my boyfriend who was sweet and kind and dopey and gentle, even though most days he kind of drove me mental.
One day there was a new guy at school, I saw him before roll call in the hall and thought he looked cool. Later that day in science, he was sitting opposite me, and I smiled, he smiled back. We’re still friends and it’s about fourteen years down the track - how did we get to that? Well…
The next time I came out it was to him, and he told me he was the same as me. Of course I chose to come out under the label of bisexuality, because I still thought guys were kind of cute and it provided me with a shield of a certain safety and half normality. He didn’t flinch or cringe or look at me with hate, he just said he was the same, and my shame started to deflate a little. I started to breathe full breaths for the first time in so long, and I started to believe maybe I wasn’t so fucking wrong.
The next time I tried to come out to somebody I was sixteen and it was my mother. I’d spent years in torture and isolation trying to figure myself out, who I really was, what it was all about. I told her I was bi and she was quiet for a while. After I prompted her for a response she said “but how do you know?” with a condescending smile. She told me I was young, and that I hadn’t even slept with anyone so how could I possibly know what I am?? Rage is the only thing I could feel at that stage, HOW COULD I KNOW WHAT I AM? The same way you knew you weren’t what I am, that’s how. I’ve spent years hating myself for being this way, and this is the stupidity I’m faced with now? Like I had just flippantly decided that I would announce something I wasn’t even sure of? I was floored, and thus thereafter the topic was purposefully ignored. The silence said all I needed to know, this was something I just wasn’t supposed to show, it’s just one of those things that was a no go. Certain people could be trusted with my secret, the thing that people didn’t seem to want to see, but I had to be very careful about who that would be.
So I shut it down and compartmentalised my difference and tried to survive. Three years went by before I opened that door again, to a trusted friend. I never intended to tell her, but she asked me in a way that seemed so tender, there were no teeth waiting to bite me, and even though it frightened me I told her. She didn’t even care, she was just curious, maybe she was questioning things in herself like some of us do. That was the first time I really knew that I wasn’t my shame and I wasn’t my pain and I wasn’t some thing to be hidden away. I decided then to be more open. To live authentically and do what felt right for me. But I still remained private about it unless asked explicitly - then I would answer as honestly as I knew how, because truthfully I’m still figuring all of it out. I’ve learned so much about diversity and gender and sexual identity and sometimes I find the right words that seem to fit, and other times the pressure of a label exhausts me and I get sick of it.
Sick of trying to classify myself under certain banners, sick of people asking things without any thought of manners.
I know on the grand spectrum of things I am not at all like them, I fall somewhere else along the Kinsey scale. Maybe that means in a way I fail the people like me, because I can’t cement things or write it in concrete and sign it to make it complete. Or that sometimes I still find myself in certain situations where I’m being discreet, holding my candour for fear of ramifications and slander. Maybe I’m not full of pride, maybe because for so long all I could do was hide. This makes me feel so guilty, I should be proud of who I am unapologetically! Not just for me but for the sake of visibility, so that maybe more people can see - we aren’t wrong, we don’t have any agenda other than to be able to be! Just to be; to live with an open vulnerability and tranquility and to be able to do it safely!! I’m sorry, that I could not join in on the pride but maybe you’ll know why; it’s hard to celebrate something that for most of your life you’ve had to justify to people, to justify to yourself, for most of your life you’ve carefully withheld.
— 

“Internalised Homophobia - Where Is My Pride?”

Pride month is such a wonderful thing and I know it is over now but it inspired me to share this. It’s intensely personal, not very well written and lengthy, but I wanted to be able to share some of my experiences regarding this topic. In no way do I speak for the whole LGBT+ community in this post and it’s simply a personal journey that I wrote out for catharsis. 

"Being Fuckable Does Not Mean Being Date-able." [Dylan O’brien] Pt. 1

THANK YOU FOR 1k FOLLOWERS GUYS!!!! This is probably the last request I’ll ever do. And it’s from a long time ago. Sorry. Requests kind of give me writers block because of the certain plot that has to go with it so forgive me if I never got to yours, but enjoy this last one because after this I will just write what comes to mind! MY BOX IS STILL OPEN FOR COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS THOUGH!!! 

PART 2
anon: Heyyy buddy I think you writing is amazing could you do one where the reader is drunk and at a party Dylan had to take her home and she accidentally tells him that she likes him then the morning after he confronts her about it.

My eyes were very focused on my ipad settled below my chin. Laying on my stomach, I felt my shoulders begin to cramp. I grabbed my ipad and laid my back on the pillows trying to desperately finish the story before I start to get ready for my plans later. I had a guilty pleasure, it was reading dirty stories, Dylan somehow never teased me about it, but from time to time he did laugh a little. 

“Are you reading smut again?” Dylan’s voice rang through my ears. I forgot he was beside me now curiously looking over to see what I was doing. 

“Yes and?” He put his hands up in defense as his eyebrows worked their way closer to each other.

“Nothing Rachel Green.”

“Shut up Joey.” I said responding to his ‘Friends’ reference, the episode where Joey found out Rachel was reading a dirty book. My eyes scanned the paragraphs as I was trying to get back to where I was, “How come you read smut when you literally can get sex whenever you can, “

My attention was very much now on him already knowing what was coming. His eyes wandered and paused directly at my lips. It’s like he realized his stare was starting to affect me that he tilted his eyes back to mine.

“Uh, what I mean is that I’ve seen you do it.” He explained in order for me to not interpret it wrong.

Was he serious? Well because Dylan, you are my best friend, and when I read these books I picture you in them with me but I know fucking your best friend would be weird for you. 

That’s what I should of said, but instead the words jumbled up into,

 “Because it’s entertaining to see the climax and story of the couple right before they fuck, and even staying for the resolution after.” I stated, not even bothering to look at him any longer with the intent of wanting to jump every bone of his body as I kept reading further.

I could see his hands intertwining together as both of them were playing around with each other between his legs. His eyes kept directing at me as if waiting for me to answer sincerely.

“Okay because I have needs Dylan! Did you really want me to say that I get horny a lot?” I rolled my eyes as his smile plastered pure satisfaction after I fezzed up.

“But horny of what? Just go have sex? There’s something you’re not telling me here.” He paused.

 “Better yet,  just fuck me.” he shrugged. He always flirted as a joke so casually  and it irritated the hell out of me. 

For us, saying, ‘fuck me’ is a regular one on one jokingly flirting with each other thing. We always joke sexually but lately it was becoming hard for me to just act like I didn’t want him to pound into me. I had it bad for my ‘best friend’. 

These love stories with smut in them focused on two things I wanted most, Dylan’s affection and his- well, dick. I didn’t want to be just friends anymore, I wanted something real with him. I read the cliche wattpad books with the plot of best friends falling for each other, pathetic in my situation, believe me, I know.

“No.” I rolled my eyes for the second time hinting at him to stop and wasn’t in the mood for casual jokes.

“You wouldn’t fuck me?” His hand went over his chest pretending to be insulted. I was getting really sick of this, I was ready to snap. He wanted to play? Alright Let’s play.

I pressed the button on the corner of my ipad for it to rest, I could feel stare behind me as he watched me place it on the night stand. All the attention was on him now,

“You know, what? I wouldn’t mind doing something right now. And since you keep interrupting me..” His curious eyes followed my actions.

“Let’s have sex.” I could of sworn that if he had water right now he would spit it right out. His eyes were left in shock to what I had just mentioned which caused me to smirk. I never responded to his jokes, I usually just laughed or rolled my eyes, but it was annoying me now. He needed to learn a lesson.

 After several rapid blinks he managed to let out a stutter, “I- do you like me?” A huge smile on his face suddenly appeared, His hand started to caress my cheek. Did he think I was joking?

His question caught me by surprise so I stepped back a little. I was terribly afraid of his rejection. If he didn’t feel the same way, everything would be ruined. 

“What? No!” I laughed it off, “Dylan, I said I would fuck you, because let’s admit it, you are hot. But an emotional attachment? Hell no. You’re my best friend?” That is not what I wanted to say at all, but I did not want to be humiliated. His face dropped and went back to a careless expression, his eyes turned darker and they broke contact with mine as his hand extracted from my face.

“Being fuck-able does not mean being date-able.” I leaned forward as I made my way across him. My legs were now snaking around his waist as he was sitting down gasping at my every movement as I sat down on him quickly.

 “What’s wrong? Tired of all the sexual jokes?” My lips whispered into to his ear. “Cause I am.” I said lower, “You should put them to the test.” Just as I was about to lean a tad bit close to his lips, his hands grabbed my chin and stopped me.

“Can you just drop it? I get it, I got a taste of my own medicine.” He grabbed my arms in a careful way but shoved me softly off him. He was heading out of my door, as he turned around not even looking at me, suddenly he had such interest in his phone. It’s what he does when he’s mad or annoyed. He avoids eye contact with me and goes on his phone/

“Don’t forget we planned a night out today, I’ll come by at eight.”

And with that he rushed out of my house leaving me utter shock. What was with the sudden attitude? His cold answers really started to made me wonder if I made him uncomfortable with my reaction. He has rejected to fuck me? Of course I wasn’t going though with it but he left before I finished.

It stung so bad. As if I wasn’t good enough to have sex with? My ego was getting to me but I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed of this whole situation. He thought he got a taste of his own medicine? He hasn’t seen the half of it. He wasn’t getting away with embarrassing me that easy.

**

Four hours later passed and It was almost eight. I made sure to look extra tonight, cause I was an extra bitch. The knocks on the door soon startled me. He came twenty minutes later than he said but I was okay with it.

 He was moody again. He stood a few more seconds at the door, “are we leaving?” still typing on his phone.

“Yes, i just need to get my purse and put on lipstick. Are you just gonna stand there and wait?” His eyes shot up and once he got a hold of the sight, he stared up and down at me. I was wearing a short black tight dress as my black heels complimented it. My hair was straightened, and I hardly straighten it. I go more for the curls usually. My make up was the same yet I added wing eyeliner.

He gasped for about ten seconds as he moved his hand up on down his lip. “Why are you wearing that?” He quickly rushed to my couch as he grabbed a cushion and somehow put it on his lap. He was fidgeting a bit, a normal person wouldn’t notice but I just paid too much attention.

“I’m going to try to get fucked tonight, you’re right. I shouldn’t be reading things about it I should just go get the real thing.” I replied coldly.

“You know I was kidding about that. Read all the porn you want.” He winked playfully.

“Cute.” I laughed mockingly. His expression turned cold again as he rolled his eyes. “Fine. Um I’m going to wait in the car.” 

“Kay.” This time I didn’t bother to look back as he left to his car. His annoying mood swings were getting on my nerves.

When we got to the club, Dylan’s grip was hesitant, as if he didn’t want to let me go and enjoy myself. “Let’s go dance!” His eyes landed on my dress again, “ Yeah let’s not. Let’s go get a drink or two first.” His grip was still on my waist.

I could see his protective side coming out, and it was irritating to say the least. “Fine.” I fake smiled to show him I was annoyed. 

Six shots later, it was finally kicking in. I was already heading to the dance floor, I could tell Dylan was watching from a far. His eyes rolled so far back every time he saw me interact with a guy, it was ridiculous.

It didn’t take long before he saw I was a little too drunk that I couldn’t keep up with my feet. “Alright, we should go now.”  He gently intertwined my arm with his as he took us to the exit. 

“Dylan! I was about to get some tonight, now they’re going to think you’re like my boyfriend and not want to talk to me!”

“Good.” He lead us towards his car. “How much did you drink?” I asked as we both got inside.

“I drank other beverages, I’m the designated driver remember.” He said harshly. I didn’t say one word to him the whole ride home, but I could tell we were going to his since it was closer. He was being so rude that every time he spoke, my heart ached a bit more.

The silence wasn’t awkward, he knew when something was bugging me so he just doesn’t add to it.

When the car stopped at his house I was afraid of facing him because there was a tear that escaped my eye and I swiped it quickly off. if I said anything he would still notice because of my shaky voice.

“Y/N.” His voice said from a distance but I blocked it out as I kept looking down at my shoes.

“Hey Y/N. Are you crying?” Dylan scooted closer as he cupped my cheeks. 

“You’ve been so distant this whole day after I made a move on you. I mean I get it, we’re best friends and you’d never go for more than that. You’d never love me the way I love you, but the fact that you don’t see me as a desirable person? It’s worse than punching me in the face.”

 I felt my sadness overcome me as my sleepiness mixed with it. My eyes started to close as my tears still kept streaming out.

“And it hurts Dylan.” I managed to say in my sad, sleepy voice. “It hurts so much because I want to be your everything, and seeing you that disgusted of me just teared me.” And sleep soon consumed my brain I was out with my as the water droplets from my eyes barely started to dry. Guess crying yourself to sleep is a real thing?

Dylan however was very much awake. He was speechless, and he was positive I wasn’t going to remember a thing in the morning.

The confronting will be in the second part!

Yuri on Ice visual storytelling meta

While watching Yuri on Ice I couldn’t quite understand the vague sense of frustration I felt with some scenes where one thing was being told and a different thing was being shown. You know, like when Yuuri is all like “those are lucky charms blah blah” and the entire setting, montage, frames, sound etc. just scream “PROPOSAL”. The same goes for the airport scene, the kiss in ep 7 and some minor scenes too. It’s almost like the visuals tell a slightly different story than words and actions of the characters.

It seems like the writing is more focused on an inner journey, a path to self discovery etc., while the settings, montage, light, sound effects tell a romantic story - it all just bluntly screams “a love story”. The usage of romance iconography (like running to meet the lover) is clearly intentional and never a parody. They look like a couple. And yet we all feel that need for more confirmation.

I couldn’t quite put it into words until now, but there is indeed a curious gap between storytelling and directing here.

Disclaimer: I worked in a big-scale animation production, it kinda changes the way you look at things. And you start seeing that such a production is a result of many people having different ideas and different attitudes towards the same material. And even when they work together, they might end up telling different stories.

And that’s what I think is the case with YOI.

I think this gap between the raw story and its visual storytelling actually subtly reflects the attitudes of Mitsuoru Kubo (writer) and Sayo Yamamoto (director).

Kubo is very focused on characters’ inner journey and leaves almost everything to viewer’s interpretation, driving us all nuts with her vague answers. While Yamamoto apparently ships Victuuri shamelessly and comes up with scenes like the airport reunion (bless that woman).

Kubo tells a brilliant story about struggling to accept yourself, about getting over your failures, about struggling with (incredibly well-portrayed) anxiety and finding strength to go on. Yamamoto on the other hand literally does all that is humanly possible within directing boundaries to tell a pure and sweet love story, on top of all that is already there.  

I’m not saying that Kubo didn’t write Victor’s and Yuuri’s relationship as romantic.

What I’m saying that the one who tells the love story is not Kubo. It’s the director and the animation team. They tell us the love story. And if you can’t find what you are looking for in Kubo’s words, please pay attention to the pictures.

After all, a picture is worth a thousand words. ;)

I’m not really sure what to write about anymore. I write what I feel, and I haven’t felt anything lately. I don’t feel empty, I just feel nothing. Either that or I feel everything at once, it’s hard to tell. It’s like drowning, but in oxygen. It’s like everything you’ve ever loved is right in front of you, but you can’t quite reach it. It’s being in a room full of people and feeling so terribly alone, it’s the unbearably loud silence. It’s pulling on your hair at 2am because you’re not sure why you’re crying. It’s everything. But it’s nothing.
—  depression, what a fucking hypocrite
Balconies - Peter Parker

request -  Can you write one about peter using his webs to swing you around the city and then peter and you go on a rooftop to see the sunrise or something? IM SOERY IF IT SUCKS IVE LOVED PETER SINCE I WAS 9 AND IVE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF THIS

a/n - while writing this i was so happy because this gave me the opportunity to write about the most dorky version of peter LMAO but i apologize for the ending i was so struggling with it so much and i went back and forth with so many ideas i hope its not shitty :( but don’t forget to request a peter parker/spiderman fic if you want and follow!

Sundays were set to be my lazy days, especially around the evening. During the school week I’d think about the comfort of sitting on my couch and literally becoming one with it, with a bowl of pretzels beside me and my hood up while some music plays in the back. This time round, I was preparing coffee for myself peacefully until the door had three knocks bounce off of it.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, not expecting my mother to be home until an hour from now. I went to the door and unlocked it, opening it and having Peter zoom through the crack without saying a word.

“Um … hello.” I said, astonished at how quick that just happened. I closed the door and turned back to only see him pulling his suit out of his backpack and struggling to change into it, almost tripping while taking off his jeans.

I chuckled and made my way back to the coffee maker, taking the fresh mug and sitting down at the small dining table within the apartment. I kicked back and watched the show in front of me, laughing here and there at the absolute dork standing in front of me.

Keep reading

4

I want to present a story about love.

  • For a while I met some crazy persons, at some point I decided being a single guy will be better for me. But Like all modern stories when you are not looking you find. So one night I was checking my Grindr and Alex came and talk to me. The chat was nice and he tells me about his boyfriend and invited for a “party”. One month later we met, we had an amazing connection, but in the end, I knew they are just looking for fun. But for my surprise they felt the same thing and we decided seen again and again until that sex moment become a stronger relationship. We have been together for the last 6 years. So love can happen in many ways.”

Love is not only about two people. Love is not only about a man and a woman. An open relationship is no less valid than a closed relationship. Polyamory is not about “fuck only”. If we were concerned only with our relationships without privatizing or controlling the relationship of others, we would have solved a portion of the world’s problems. All forms of love are valid from the moment that all involved feel good about the relationship they live. Do not invalidate another person’s love, just because he is different from yours.

Love is love.

Alone

Lance slowly opened his tired and heavy eyes, and looked around his room.
Silence.
It was odd. He groggily glanced outside the window as they passed an asteroid field, and he rubbed his eyes, blinking rapidly.
He winced as he placed his feet on the floor, stretching.
Murmurs came from outside his door, and they faded a few ticks later.
As quiet as possible, Lance tiptoed outside, closing his door slowly and letting out a breath of relief.
He wanted to go see Blue.
He broke into a run to get to his lions hangar, a pang of homesickness in his heart that kept him going.
It wasn’t like he had nobody to talk to. His friends were understanding and caring, and he understood why they would brush him off in important situations.
He just trusted Blue. A lot.
-
As he stepped into the hangar, a low purr rumbled from Blue.

“Welcome, my Paladin.”

“Hey Blue. Sorry I’m here at like, 2 am. I’m just kinda sad. Mind if I sit here with you and the other lions?”

A rough purr emitted from Red, and Green flicked her tail happily.
“Thanks, Girl.”

-

“Where’s Lance?”
Hunk was starting to get worried about his friend, and even though they wouldn’t admit it, he knew the rest of the paladins were worried as well.
Keith was hesitant, but stood up anyways.
“I’ll go look for him. Was he in his room?”
Pidge adjusted their glasses.
“They weren’t in any of the rooms, I checked just a few minutes ago.”
Allura tapped her foot impatiently. Despite the flirting, Lance was like a brother to her.
A very, very, annoying brother.
“Well what are you waiting for?”
Her words were venom, and Shiro shivered.
Despite this, Keith shrugged and went off to look for his friend.

-

“He’s not even with Coran. I’m worried, you guys.”
Hunk muttered, coughing into his sleeve.
“Have you checked the Lions?”
That caught Shiros attention.
Keith sighed.
“Why would he be there? If he was homesick, why would he go to the lions?”
Shiro stared at him.
“… To talk to blue.”

-

“I’m not convinced. But I’ll go check there and I’ll tell you guys if he’s there. Keep looking.”
Allura bit her lip, and constantly stole glances at the floor.

-

~Time skip brought to you by Corans mustache~

-

Keith walked into the hangar, surprised.
Shiro was right.
Again.
Lance had his back to Blues paw, snoring peacefully.
But what surprised him was that the other lions were gathered around him, as if he fell asleep telling a story.
“… Lance? Lance, are you alright?”
He took a step forward, and Black growled.
Blues eyes were accusing, and Red even stared at him with an unknown expression.
Cuz y know. They’re mechanical lions.
Another step.
Lance awoke, his eyes alarmed, and stared right at Keith.
He cowered in surprise.
“Keith! I-uh-um, it’s fine! I’ll be to breakfast in a bit!”
He quickly stammered.
“It’s fine, just- just stay away from me.”
It’s not like Lance hated Keith, he just felt weird around him, since he was so serious all the time.
Yellow flicked her tail angrily, getting into a pouncing stance.
“Just let me help you-”
A loud roar shook the area, and as if as quick as lightning, there were tears flooding down Lance’s face and Red was in between Lance and Keith.
The rest of the team were there in merely a few ticks, and saying they were shocked was an understatement.
Allura was ecstatic, seeing another Lion defending a different Paladin.
It quickly turned into a frown when she saw Lance was crying.
Coran was screaming.
Hunk took a step back, hugging himself from the surprise.
Pidge stood in the front, amazed at the possibilities.
Shiro just stared at Lance.

“Stay away from the Blue Paladin.” Red roared again, standing taller.

Lance pat Reds paw, and she hesitated, sitting next to Blue with her eyes fixed on the team.

“Sorry guys. I just- when I feel homesick I just go to the lions and just- talk, I guess.”

Hunk pulled him into a hug, and soon the whole team were all hugging one another, sobbing.

“Why were you crying?”

Lance tensed when Keith asked, head tilted and curious.

“I-it-it just reminded me of when my brother would stand up for me. When.. He was alive, of course.”

“You’re not alone, Lance.”

-

@ everyone who hates Lance
StAy OfF mY bLoG

Request pls holy shit I’m running out of ideas

Also!!! Happy ending!!! If you want to break my heart, send me a prompt👏

Bye!!!!
I didn’t proof read sorry

Modern Amis (and co.) Coming-Out Headcanons

(I don’t even remember how the subject came up but @beatlemaniacinthetardis and I were taking about the Amis getting together at someone’s house and telling each other stories from when they came out of the closet. We stayed up way too late last night coming up with these so we felt the need to share) 

Bahorel comes out to his family when he goes downstairs in the rainbowest of rainbow shirts, announces that he’s going to Pride, and just sort of stares at each of them until they understand.

Courfeyrac realizes he’s gay in his preteen years and it takes him like a year to work up the courage to come out to his friends (Enjolras and Combeferre) and family (mom and dad). When he tells them they all just go “sweetie, we know”. Enjolras and Combeferre bake him a confetti cake that says CONGRATS in edible glitter. Courfeyrac cries. 

Feuilly doesn’t really have anyone to come out to, since he has no living relations and he went straight into a job at a young age. He kind of…forgets to, to be honest, so he’s not out to his co-workers. They only find out when Bahorel comes to get him from work one day and he kisses Feuilly hello.  

Like in canon, Cosette grows up into a pretty girl who loves attention. She’s very meticulous about the way she looks and is like nice when she notices guys checking her out. One day, though, a pretty girl smiles at her and does the checking-out thing and Cosette is like oh no when she feels her heart do the THING. She tells papa later that evening, and he’s amazing and supportive because, well, he’s Jean Valjean. He joins her marching in the Pride parade the following summer. 

Enjolras’ coming out doesn’t go so well. He’s pretty much known he likes boys since forever ago, but only tells his parents at the end of high school. His parents are cold and arrange a Nice Girl for him to marry at the age of 25 or whatever. Enjolras fights with them on it, but when they continue to stand firm he decides they don’t deserve to be in his life anyway. He moves in with Combeferre, who he came out to years ago.

Joly and Bossuet, who have basically known each other since birth, come out to each other before anyone else. They then make a pact to come out to their friends and family on the same day. Bossuet’s parents don’t take it so well–his dad is pissed, and his mom tries to push him to go back to church. His friends, too, say “yeah that’s cool” but he can tell every time he says something that even approaches the subject of his sexuality that they’re weird about it. Joly’s, on the other hand, went well. His friends start teasing him like “yeah man I bet you thought you had appendicitis the first time you saw a guy you liked” and stuff, but they’re cool with it. Joly’s family ends up pretty much adopting Bossuet, too. Bossuet’s parents come knocking for him one day and Joly’s four younger siblings work together to slam the door in their face. (Bonus: since those two have a hivemind, they tell each other about being poly the same day.)

The subject of their combined affections, Musichetta, was a total badass about her coming out. She told her parents straight up that she was poly/pan. They were not sold on the idea, but she told them to accept her as she was or she’d leave without a second thought. It takes them a while to get used to the idea, but Chetta answers whatever questions they have. They grow to understand her, and come to love Joly and Bossuet once the three of them start dating.

Jehan has a hard time with it all. They WANT to come out, to family and friends alike, but they want to understand themselves before they try and explain it to anyone else. They tell this to the Amis who are all just like…you don’t have to ever figure it out. It’s alright. No matter who you are or what you do or who you love, we’ll be here to support you. Jehan cries really hard because they’ve been so confused for so long and their found family is saying that it’s okay to be unsure forever because who needs a title anyway? The greatest of group hugs happens that day, Jehan smiling in the centre of it. (Bonus: shortly after that, Jehan asks the Amis to start saying “they/them”. Grantaire buys a ton of neutral-looking clothes with gross flower print that he knows Jehan will LOVE. Enjolras falls in love with R a lil bit more since he knows he doesn’t have all that much money but he spent a bunch of it for Jehan to be happy and comfortable anyway).

Combeferre comes out to all his friends shortly after he meets them, but he never comes out to his family at all. He knows they’re homophobic, and a) he doesn’t like to start fights, and b) he decides that they don’t deserve to know. In an act of silent rebellion, he secretly gets a part-time job as a sales guy at a boot shop for drag queens. Courfeyrac’s the shop’s #1 customer. (Kinky Boots AU someone back me up here)

While Marius is almost entirely on the straight side, but every so often he’ll meet a man who sets his little Pontmercy heart aflutter. Courf is one of those guys and when they end up roommates Marius kind of…”aksdjasgkdhdh Lord save my poor bisexual soul”. But then he meets Cosette. He doesn’t tell her for ages because he’s terrified of what she’ll think, but eventually he works up the courage. She laughs because hey she’s bi too!! From that point on, they point out attractive people of various genders to each other while they’re on dates. (Bonus: one day, Marius and his grandfather get into an argument about politics over dinner. In a moment of passion, Marius stands and yells “LONG LIVE NAPOLEON! ALSO, I SOMETIMES LIKE BOYS!” His grandfather faints into his chair.)

Eponine never really had friends, so she has no frame of reference for what romantic attraction feels like. When she meets Marius, she figures instantly that what she’s feeling is romantic love. Shortly after, she meets Cosette and feels the same way. Now she’s confused. And then she meets the rest of the Amis and feels the same way about ALL of them. It’s very strange to have a crush on everyone, she thinks. With Grantaire and Jehan’s help, she comes to understand that what she’s feeling is, in fact, platonic love. And god, is she relieved to know. The only family members she tells about being aro/ace are Gavroche and Azelma. Azelma is like “I think that might be me too” and Gav is like “sweet, more lovely ladies for me”.

FINALLY, Grantaire. He’s never really given a shit about what gender his lovers were, and never given a shit about who knows about it. He doesn’t know or care whether or not his parents know. But oh, god, then he meets Enjolras, and can no longer imagine loving anyone else of any gender. When the Amis share their coming out stories, he just snorts and says ‘does it count if you’re only attracted to one person?’ and he accidentally stares at Enj as he says it and the Amis collectively suck in a breath because if they didn’t know who he was talking about before, they certainly do now.  (Bonus: Everyone braces themselves when Enj stands up and goes to R, thinking Enj is going to try and start shit, but they start applauding when instead Enjolras grabs Grantaire’s face and kisses the life out of him). 

whoops, my hand slipped and here is a much more fic-like set of bullet points that i don’t have to heart to actually turn into a fic. part of a trilogy it seems. parts one, two, THREE (this one!), four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

  • something to know about michelle: she’s very good at keeping secrets
  • once, when she was eight years old, her older brother broke the brand new watch his parents had gotten him for christmas. he begged her not to tell anyone, most especially their parents or her four year old sister who would undoubtedly tattle to their parents. she never spoke a word of it to anyone and helped him fix it as best they could so that her parents never found out.
  • then, when she was eleven, she had the biggest crush on this one girl in her class, layla. and one day, one of her best friends alex told her that he had a crush on layla. so she never spoke a word of her crush, nor of alex’s, to anyone. that is, until one day alex and layla walked around the playground at lunch time holding hands and told everyone they were now dating.
  • and then after she moved to new york, spent the year trying to find a place for herself, and then finally found and joined academic decathlon, she met peter parker and liz allan. and she knew immediately that peter parker liked liz. he always stared at her during practice and smiled at her whenever she glanced at him. she heard him talking about her at lunch. everyone knew that peter had a crush on liz. but one day after practice, she was in the bathroom stall when liz and her friend betty walked into the restoom, chatting.
  • “oh my goodness I can’t believe you have a crush on that freshman.” betty scoffed. “really liz, like half the junior class is in love with you and you’ve got heart eyes for the scrawny kid from, what is it, queens?”
  • “he’s really sweet!” liz laughed. “I think he’s really cute. he’s always nice to me. can’t I like someone who also likes me? is that really a crime?”
  • “of course not.” betty sighed. “I’m just saying. he’s a freshman, you’re a junior. in two years, you’ll be going to college and he will still be here. do you really want that?”
  • “I don’t know.” liz replied, pausing for a while before michelle heard the sink start to run water. “peter is really sweet and smart. i’d like to see what could happen.”
  • “fine, fine.” betty laughs. “but don’t wait for that boy to ask you out because he seems shocked every time you even look his way.” they both laugh and with that, walk out of the bathroom.
  • michelle never spoke of that incident to anyone either. so, she’s good at keeping quiet when she needs to be. which is why she never tells peter that she knows. knows that he spends his time stopping bank robberies, muggings, and helping old ladies cross the street. knows that he saved her friends in washington dc. knows that he’s the reason liz’s dad went to prison and she had to move to oregon. she doesn’t tell anyone this. not even peter.

Keep reading

It was my fault. I knew how you felt and I knew how I felt, but I acted like I could care less. It’s my first instinct not to show interest because I’m just scared of every little thing that could go wrong. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I knew I should have.

Not everyone is in fandom for the s/exual content. If you are? That’s cool. Seriously. You do you, and enjoy what you enjoy. But this idea that fandom is all about the p/orn (which is especially pervasive from the outside, among people who know about fandom but might not be engaged in it, or who only know the stereotypes) is not the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I just wanted to say that, in case some of my followers need to hear it. 

I’ll admit, I often feel (and have often felt!) like an odd duck because while I adore romance, and adore characters in love–falling in love, being in love, navigating love–I have almost no interest in being in the same metaphorical room when they’re having s/ex. I don’t think about it. I don’t imagine it. I am far, far more likely to spend half an hour thinking about kissing or cuddling or one person taking out the garbage because the second person is exhausted. (And I acknowledge there are folks out there for whom even this romance-focus is meh! You’re allowed to have your place in fandom too! I promise!) 

I’ve written s/ex scenes when I felt like the story genuinely asked for them. It doesn’t happen often. I have written characters whose comfort with or love of s/ex is part of their character, part of the story they want me to tell. Mostly, my characters ask me to leave. And I oblige them. I’ve occasionally met with criticism for this. I’ve had people ask me for stories with more s/exual content, or tell me my stories “would be better” with more s/ex in them. In the past, I’ve shrugged it off, or felt like I needed to justify myself, or just felt hurt full-stop. Sometimes it made me feel lonely, or not good enough, or like I was broken, or like there was something ‘wrong’ with me for not actually wanting to either read or write the explicit. (Not to say I avoid everything with an E-rating. Really. It comes down to what else is happening in the story; hook me with characters and plot and I’ll stick around for the s/ex.)

Meanwhile, yes, there’s a lot of s/exual content in fandom. I guess if you’re on the outside looking in, and you only catch a glimpse, you might think that’s all that’s happening. It took me a long, long time to realize that there’s a place in fandom (and in life, really) for people like me, people for whom the s/exual content isn’t the driving force of engagement. You don’t need to explain yourself. You don’t need to justify yourself. And you’re not alone.

<3

In Love

Waking up to the sound of you showering
& you playing our favorite songs
My heart would get so warm
It was so cold those foggy mornings
I would curl into a ball & pretend to be asleep
just to feel you wake me up & you
would be the first thing I would want to see
I would hear you tell me “I know you’re up dork”
I look back & smile
I’m sorry I never told you that & I’m also sorry you’ll never know
I still replay those foggy mornings
I know those mornings might not even cross
your mind anymore, but they cross mine
Those are the moments where I felt fine
& not feel like my whole world crumbles
everyday because you’re not here

Let me tell you a story about a boy I once knew…

He had everything in front of him, all within reach. All he had to do was lift his arm, stretch his fingers, and the world would’ve been his. For the first time, in a long time, she let him breathe again. She led him out of the tunnel and showed him what it felt like to be loved. She was everything to him.

But you just couldn’t hold on, could you?

Your palms got sweaty, and you started losing your grip. When things got rough you started running, hiding and dodging everything and everyone because it was all too much for you to handle. And so just like that, you let your pride and your ego get a little too big, hung it over your head, and you let her go. Didn’t make a sound when you saw her walk out that door because you knew, you knew that even though she loved you, she deserved someone so much better than you. You couldn’t give her everything that she needed, but all she wanted was you.

So here you are now, making the same old mistakes that she made disappear. Because that’s what you do, you go back to what you know. And ten years down the road, you see her at the corner of the street wrapped up in the arms of someone who isn’t you. And you think back to when she was yours, standing there daydreaming about the life you could’ve had with her.

All you had to do was hold on for just a little bit longer.

Sad, isn’t it?

—  c.f. // “I guess some things just aren’t meant to be”
Locked Up

Can you do a reaction to getting locked in the school overnight with your crush, the bad boy, BTS

These are more like scenarios if anything but I still hope that it was close to what you wanted, and I apologize for taking so long to post this

[Gifs do not belong to me, all credit goes to rightful owners]


||Namjoon||

Originally posted by simondismydaddy

Being locked up in school isn’t great. Especially when it’s dark. And alone. Well at least you were until you ran into namjoon, the bad boy of the school and honestly you were thinking that it possibly couldn’t get any better. You liked him and now you were alone with him. He seemed quite surprised to see you out of all people in school so late. Namjoon did know you, kinda, since he sees you in like half his classes and getting the sense that you weren’t ok with being alone he dragged you along to an empty classroom. Great. The whole time you two were in there you personally felt like you were about to explode. Yeah, he made you swoon that much. “So why are you stuck in here?” his head tilts a bit and his gaze meets yours. “I could ask you the same thing,” he smirks a little and pick his head back up, still looking into your eyes. “Fell asleep in class, and the teacher didn’t bother to wake me up.” The way he rolled his eyes told pretty much what he thought of his teacher. “Now you tell me your story.” “Well lets just say last minute restroom breaks aren’t a good idea,” you chuckled awkwardly as he grinned. He opened his mouth to speak but the lights of the room turned off and you instantly cuddled yourself into namjoon without a second thought. After realizing this you blushed muttering a quick sorry and pulled back from him but he put his around you and kept you close. “It’s ok, I don’t mind holding you.”

||Jin||

Originally posted by beagletae

You never thought you’d get detention, you weren’t perfect but you never did anything wrong, and you didn’t think that detention would be the reason you’d be locked up in school. It was already dark and school was already scary enough you didn’t need this. Seokjin soon came along when you found him asleep in one of the schools closets, and all because he wanted alone time. The whole time you guys talked and just strolled the dimly lit halls which was a little more comforting with him. He might of been the bad boy but he was actually pretty nice. Being with him in a situation like this just made being locked in school not so bad. “You know how I got stuck here, what’s your story?” “Detention,” you groaned slightly. “Oh someone’s been naughty,” he says teasingly making you blush. “I didn’t do anything bad, my teacher is just strict, and he ‘forgot’ that I was there and left me.” You grumbled under your breath and jin laughed a little when seeing you puff your cheeks out of irritation. “Ah, cute,” he mumbles to himself. “Hey well on the bright side you’re stuck with me,” he winks at you and you swear you stopped breathing for two seconds. “Yeah, I’m with you,” you smiled.

||Yoongi||

Originally posted by minniesuga

You weren’t all that surprised when you realized that you were locked in. It’s what you get for hiding away to ditch you’re last hour only because you were trying to avoid your crush. New seating charts aren’t  that all great because now you sit right next to him. And at the moment you thought you were screwed because he suddenly popped up decided to tag along with you at some point even though he seemed to pay no mind to you. You were already hating life at the moment and you were hating it even more because he was here alone with you and you knew you were going to embarrass yourself at some point. The cafeteria was left unlocked so you sat across from each other in silence and glancing at each other every now and then to. Perfect, you thought. I’m not doing anything and I’m already embarrassing, you mentally slapped yourself as you tried avoiding eye contact with yoongi. “So you weren’t in class today,” he says and you finally look at him, but he was staring at his hands. “Why not?” his eye looked up and you looked down again and blushed. “I-I wasn’t feeling it today,” you say. “Just for that class?” he raises a brow. “I mean- well-  no it’s just,” you groaned and your hands rubbed at your face making yoongi chuckle. “You don’t gotta explain it’s fine,” your eyes meet with his now and he smiles slightly. “Just don’t skip it next time, it’s lame when you’re gone.”

||Hoseok||

Originally posted by jeonsshi

So you’re in school, and it’s way past school hours. And you’re also alone…in the dark…and locked in. What could go wrong? To say were scared was an understatement. You were terrified and who wouldn’t be when you’re stuck in school at night. You were sure you were going to die in here, it was the perfect set up for a horror flick. When you heard a sudden bang you screamed and another scream followed, a scream that wasn’t yours. “God you scared me!” Hoseok huffed and held his hand to his chest. You stared at him relieved that you weren’t the only one her now but also wondering why he was here. “S-sorry I didn’t mean to,” you rubbed your arm sheepishly. “It’s fine, kinda my fault to since I dropped that trash can back there,” he points behind him and laugh. You couldn’t help but giggle “and how did that happen?” Hoseok stood by you now with a shy expression. “Don’t tell anyone but I got a little freaked out and ended up running into it.” You smirked a bit and cross your arms “the famous bad boy, Jung Hoseok, was scared?” you said dramatically. “Yeah, yeah whatever you were even more scared you screamed like you were about to die,” “Well because I thought I was,” you shared a laugh before he gently held your forearm and smiled as you felt the heat rush to your cheeks. Good thing it was dark. “Maybe we should stay close just in case anything else happens,” “O-ok”

||Jimin||

Originally posted by gotjimin

Never in your life did you ever think you’d be stuck in a dark room alone with your crush jimin. Well of course you have. And it was happening, but not the way you thought (you dirty person you;)) You were in a dark room alright but that room was the janitors closet…at school…locked in. Now you didn’t know this would happen you were just trying to hide away from the douches that were bugging you. Jimin was hiding away to but that’s for a whole other reason and apparently he had the same idea as you. He startled you as he swung open the door and slipped in with no questions asked. He shut the door and quickly put his ear against it and just as you were about to say something you felt his hands roam around your shoulders then your face before cover your mouth and bringing your head to his chest. “Stay quiet,” he says, ear still pressed against the door. Seconds past and you squirmed out of his grasp “what are yo-” “shh!” you sigh “what are you doing?” you whispered. Jimin stayed there for a moment before leaning away from the door and turned around to face what he assumed to be you. “I was running away from a friend of mine,” “why?” “I pranked  him, and I got him good this time.” You couldn’t see but you knew he was grinning ear to ear. “Who are you by the way?” he asks. “Oh y/n, not sure if you know me but we have the same history class.” He stood silently for a second. “Do you have your phone?” “Yeah, why?” “Turn on the flashlight so I can see you.” You did as you were told and it wasn’t until you turned on the light you realized how close he was. You dropped your phone out of surprise and you both reached for it. At that very moment there was a click. “Did you hear that?” You got up and jiggled the knob only to groan when realizing that you were locked in. “Well were stuck in here,” you huffed and hit you back against the door. Jimin had the light on you and he giggled suddenly. “W-what?” you were beginning to blush. “Nothing, you’re just cute when you’re angry,” “B-but I’m not,” what was he saying? “well, you’re still cute.”

||Taehyung||

Originally posted by taedamn

When taehyung asked you to help him out with studying after school you were quite happy and took the offer. How could say no to him? Yes he’s the bad boy but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t strive for good grades. Plus you liked him so you were down to help him out. But there you were, by the classroom two hours after the last bell had rung waiting on taehyung to show up. A few more minutes, you thought. And after those few minuets you already made your down the hall. Of course he didn’t show, you scoffed to yourself. You found yourself at the main entrance just about to push open the doors when you hear your name being called. “Hey where are you going?” “Home,” you said a bit harshly. “Why? I thought you were gonna help me out?” he pouted almost. “I was but then you showed up tow hours late and I have to be home.” There was really no reason to be mad but if was gonna be busy before hand he should’ve said something! You tried pushing open the door but it wouldn’t budge so you tried the other one but to no avail it didn’t open either. Taehyung then went in to help but that didn’t work. “We’re stuck in here,” he said all too calmly. “Stuck!?” you eyes widened. “As in we’re locked in here?!” You ended up going through the whole school just to get out but everything was locked. Eventually you gave up and sat in a hall hugging your knees. Taehyung looked at you and really couldn’t help but think it was his fault (really wasn’t) and sat by you. “It’s not so bad y/n, I’m here,” he smiles at you and you sigh and return a slanted smile. “Well I hope you’re good company,” you joked. “I guess to pass the time we can study?” you say unsurely. Taehyung smirks suddenly and his eyes lock with yours. “I have a better Idea.”

(you played hide and seek you nasties) 

||Jungkook||

Originally posted by jungkookpresent

You just wanted to work in peace and quiet get finished early so you could take a nap but no~ jungkook kept throwing wads of paper into your hair and bugged you anyway he could. And here you thought that sitting right in front of him was a blessing. (Still kinda is I mean he notices you) You tried to stop him but he wouldn’t have it and you were slowly becoming more and more irritated. You were a time bomb and any little thing at that moment could make you explode. Jungkook, of course, helped with that when he poked your back making you yelp and scream at him for not leaving you alone. And now your here. Stuck in a class room tired and annoyed. “C'mon I already said I was sorry,” he kneels in front of your desk with his arms resting on it and head sitting over them looking up at you with his big brown eyes. You rolled your eyes and avoided any eye contact with the boy. “Sorry isn’t gonna take me home now is it.” It was his turn to roll his eyes. “Why must you hate me so,” “I don’t, you just irritate me,” you said bluntly. “So you do like me,” he beamed. You choked on your own air and the blood instantly rushed to your cheeks. Jungkook laughed at your reaction letting himself fall to the ground and just kinda roll there in laughter. You glared at him with your now rosy cheeks and stood up from your seat and made your way to the door. “W-Where you goin’?” He scrambled to pick himself up from the floor and raced to the door to block you from it. “Home I don’t want to be here,” “Aw, I was only joking you seriously can’t be mad, plus you can’t just leave.” “whatever,” you moved him out of the way and reached to turn the knob but it was locked. You groan and tried the other one but you were met with the same fate. A locked door. “Great, Just great!” “Locked?” “What do you think?” He comes near you again leaving you trapped against the door. “Well if that’s the case, I have a way to make you forgive me.”


Hope you liked it😊

and again I’m sorry this took awhile it’s been a busy week and I couldn’t really work on anything.

Much love~💖