i just felt like keeping the caps lock on for this post

We talk a lot about Yuuri having to reconcile his idea of Viktor with the real Viktor–that is, Yuuri has this flawless, wonderful ideal of Viktor in his head which has to sort of be cut down to fit the person that Viktor really is. Which is a healthy part of their relationship, and which I completely agree is something Yuuri has to face at some point during that first summer.

But I think there’s also something to be said about Yuuri realizing that some of the horrible things he’s heard about Viktor through the skating community grapevine are not so true.

Yuuri, despite what he says, is much closer to is idol than most people ever get. If Viktor is a movie star, Yuuri is the secondary character–he’s there, and a lot of people definitely know he’s there, and he knows enough people who also know Viktor for the gossip mill to really get churnin sometimes.

I also think that at the back of every person who has ever had a celebrity crush’s mind is a little voice saying, “Never meet your heroes,” and Yuuri Katsuki is terrified of that little voice, and it contributes to the distance he keeps from Viktor–because at some point, that much distance from someone you’re facing off against in international competitions has got to be just a little bit purposeful.

So cue Viktor coming into his life all of a sudden one day, and all Yuuri can think about are the terrible awful no good very bad things people have told him about Viktor and the kind of person Viktor is.

“Fuck Viktor Nikiforov,” an older skater had told him after Skate America, six glasses into a box of wine and bitter as hell about missing the podium. “No, really, fuck him. The Russians are paying off the ISU to keep him at the top. He isn’t even that talented. I hear–I hear he doesn’t even train. I hear he just shows up and fucking does whatever and they give him gold because he’s Viktor Nikiforov.”

“I…don’t think…” Yuuri frowned at his own glass of wine. “I mean…that couldn’t be true.” He glances at Phichit next to him. “Could it?”

“Sour grapes,” Phichit advises, and Yuuri isn’t as familiar with English idioms at that point, so he thinks Phichit is talking about the wine.

Yuuri mostly forgets about it, but somewhere in the back of his mind–he can’t stop thinking about it. He watches and rewatches Viktor’s old programs and wonders to himself if the reason he thinks they’re so good is because he’s watching them through rose-tinted glasses.

Yuuri and Phichit are suffering through finals and trying to survive through twenty-hour days of nothing but studying and skating. They lay themselves on the bleachers one afternoon while they’re supposed to be doing warm ups.

“What if I just quit school and became and underwater basket weaver,” Yuuri mumbles directly into the metal seat of the bleacher. “That would be fine, right?”

“WWVND,” Phichit replies. “What Would Viktor Nikiforov Do.”

“You’re right,” Yuuri sighs.

“Viktor Nikiforov is dumber than a box of rocks,” says of the other members of the club as she skates by. “You know he never even finished high school? I mean, what counts as high school in a country like Russia. The guy probably thinks two plus two equals borscht.”

“That’s not…” Yuuri smushes his nose against the bleacher. “Hey, that’s not…”

“FUCK OFF OLIVIA,” Phichit shrieks across the rink, and Celestino definitely hears. They have to do twenty minutes of line drills. 

“What Would Viktor Nikiforov Do, right boys?” asks Olivia as she watches Yuuri try not to heave after Celestino finally releases them from their Sisyphean torture.

“I’m gonna fucking kill her,” Phichit says, and he sounds so deeply serious that Yuuri is sincerely worried.

Several weeks later, someone mentions Viktor within earshot of Phichit and he jokingly says, “Watch what you say, that’s Yuuri’s future husband you’re talking about,” and it sort of makes Yuuri want to hit him but mostly makes Yuuri blush.

“Really?” replies that someone. “I don’t know about that, Yuuri. I wouldn’t touch that guy with a thirty foot pole. He sleeps around. Probably has all kinds of nasty stuff going on down there.”

“Oh, whatever,” Phichit says, rolling his eyes. “Like you would know.”

Yuuri ducks his head back into his book and tries not to think about it.

These are the things that Yuuri holds in the back of his mind about Viktor, the worries that travel with him anywhere he has even the chance of encountering Viktor Nikiforov. 

‘Never meet your heroes’ becomes something of the unspoken mantra of Yuuri’s life. 

Then Viktor Nikiforov catapults himself straight into Yuuri’s lap, and Yuuri learns a few things.

Viktor trains. Viktor trains hard. Viktor has neglected everything but training and skating and satisfying his own frantic need to be the best for twenty years. Viktor Nikiforov is a lonely, sad bookworm with one friend and a gaping, yearning need to be touched–and he did not get to be where he is without making sacrifices. 

Yuuri has never met anyone who made more sacrifices for this sport and this art than Viktor Nikiforov. It opens something up inside of him, throbbing and raw. It makes Yuuri want to take Viktor’s heart and shove it inside his own chest so that it never feels cold or lonely again. It makes him want to stand on the top of a tall building somewhere and scream fuck you to every person he’s encountered whose jealousy tried to convince him that this man was less than what he is.

And yes, Yuuri knows now that Viktor is forgetful and brutally honest and often doesn’t say the right thing at the right time.

He knows that Viktor is only ambidextrous in that he can use a fork with both hands and that it takes him twenty minutes in the morning to decide on a shirt to wear. He knows that Viktor Nikiforov is a blanket hog and that if Yuuri wants to wake up still covered in the morning, they have to have no less than three blankets on the bed at all times.

He knows that Viktor sometimes descends into these loops of manic energy where he wants to do everything and can’t sit still and in those moments, Yuuri wants to lock him in a room and leave him there until he starts making sense again.

He also knows that Viktor Nikiforov has the most genuinely beautiful soul that Yuuri has ever had the opportunity to touch. He knows that very few people in his life will ever love him like Viktor, and that he himself has never felt for anyone quite what he feels for this man. His man. 

He knows these things and he thinks that maybe Viktor is perfect after all, perfect in his imperfection. Every jagged edge of his fits into one of Yuuri’s, and every curve of Yuuri’s lovingly presses flush with Viktor’s until they fit together seamlessly, like a pair of puzzle pieces.

Yuuri is also still a very petty person on the inside, though–which is why he makes posts on Instagram that read things like Viktor received his sixth well-deserved Russian National gold today! Congratulations to my amazing fiance.

And also:

So proud of my husband for all of his hard work commentating at the #Olympics. Some people go to school for half their lives and aren’t half as articulate as my Vitya. #Proudhubby

After that last one, Phichit leaves a voicemail on Yuuri’s phone that is literally just two whole minutes of him laughing hysterically and then wheezing, “THE SALT!” before hanging up.

“Yuuri, why did Phichit just sent me…sixteen crying laughing emojis and a text that says ‘your husband I can’t,’ in all caps?”

“Because a lot of people tried telling me you weren’t perfect and I’m proving them wrong,” Yuuri replies, not even looking up from his phone.

“Oh,” Viktor says, and literally crawls on top of him.

Yuuri supposes that the moral of the story is that the heart wants what the heart wants, and you have to find perfection in the imperfections–Viktor is loud and ditzy and forgets the English word for tomato on an almost daily basis, but he’s Yuuri’s husband. And because he’s Yuuri’s husband, he’s perfect.

In the Arms of Justice Pt. 16 (Cop!Bucky Drabble Series)

Characters: reader x Detective Barnes, Natasha, Rumlow. 

Summary: Reader is a witness to a crime, tying her to the investigation as well as the police involved. She never would have guessed how that one night would continue to change her life years later.

Warnings: Some anxiety, also blood, murder, weapon and death mentions (none of it graphic), violence against women, gritty police drama tv show kind of feel.

Word Count: 1054

Tags at the bottom 

A/N: I’M BACK, BABY. A thousand apologies that it took so long for me to find my groove and stop being afraid of this fic. heh. I finally tackled it and miraculously, I’m in love with it again! Detective Barnes is back and I’m so excited for what’s ahead. :D Part 17 will be posted Friday, May 19! 

<<<Part 15  Part 16   Part 17>>>  

In the Arms of Justice Series Masterlist

Full Masterlist

_______________________________________________

Originally posted by imagine-that-marvel

Previously:

Entering her office once again, Natasha stepped forward.

“Y/N, this is Mr. Kopecky. His aunt and uncle immigrated from the Czech Republic and he would like to keep them here legally.”

The man was facing away from you, reading the degrees and certificates adorning the esteemed lawyer’s office wall.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Kope…”

As he turned your way, you lost all power of speech, ice freezing in your veins. 

___________________

You remained frozen in place, eyes transfixed on the man who held a knife at your throat two nights ago and now haunted your dreams. Although, if you had passed him on the street you might not have recognized him. Instead of the bleach-blond hair and a clean shaven face, he now wore a knitted cap over a bald head with a few days’ stubble dotting his chin. Horn-rimmed glasses were perched on his nose and he wore khaki trousers with a long-sleeved black sweater and dress shoes. If it weren’t for the cold eyes fixed on yours and the scar on his left cheek, you could have sworn it wasn’t the same man.

Light bruising was visible under his eyes, you noticed as he took a few steps forward. His nose might not have been broken by your head striking it, but you definitely left your mark. Seeing him approach from across the room, you finally thawed enough to stumble to Natasha’s side.

“H-how did he get in here?” you whispered to her, your eyes never leaving his face.

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Storms (Post CACW ThunderIron)

Welcome to the story! Grab some tissues! God the angst in this fic is going to be killer guys, there’s your warning.

If you’d like to be tagged in additional chapters, drop me a like or a reblog!

MASTERLIST

Seriously though, tissues!
******************

Thor was excited to be home, excited to be back at the compound with all his friends. He had been gone for so long, dealing with Asgard and everything had gone so wrong so suddenly…

Well anyway, he was relieved to be away from Asgard. He was ready for Tony’s ridiculous movie nights, and Clint’s haphazard breakfast creations, and sparring with Captain, and trading war stories with Natasha. He was looking forward to spending time with Bruce, the quiet scientist with a wicked sense of humour that was matched only by Tony’s cutting wit.

He was even looking forward to the mission debriefings, where Tony and Steve inevitably fought and bickered, and Tony usually ended up storming off in some grand fashion, the color high in his cheeks, dark eyes sparking dangerously.

The genius was beautiful in something of a delicate way, and Thor had always had a hard time keeping himself from staring. Tony was not a large man by any means, but his passion for whichever cause he was engaged in was unparalleled. Thor loved to sit and watch him talk, to watch him work, to watch him—

Thor just liked to watch Tony, period. And if he were honest, it took most of his self control to only watch, because Thor would love to see Tony flushed and passionate spread out across a large bed and bathed in firelight. In fact, he was sure Tony would look more beautiful like that than any other way. Of course, they had never had any time to discuss or explore any of those things, but now that Thor was back again, perhaps in between missions he and the soft haired genius could spend real time together, and Thor would get the chance to tell him how he felt.

So when Thor landed in front of the Avengers compound with a crack of lightning and a ground shaking boom of thunder, burning the pattern of the bifrost into the lawn, he was caught up in his thoughts and didn’t notice that the grass was brown and dead, that there were no vehicles parked in the driveway.

Too intent on seeing Tony, on giving the man a hug, on hearing that light hearted laugh, it wasn’t even until he was striding through the halls towards the common area, holding Mjolnir lightly in one hand, and calling for the team that he realized that most of the lights weren’t even on. The rooms were locked up, the windows dirty, the few plants wilted from neglect.

The compound was…silent, and Thor stopped uneasily at the door to the common room, noting that even though the room had been repaired since the fight with Ultron, it looked like it hadn’t been touched in months.

“Hello?” he called, and his deep voice echoed through the empty building. “Hello?”

“Thor.”

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anonymous asked:

I just felt they seemed a little uncomfortable and a bit unenthusiastic about the game like they're only playing it to keep the majority happy. This might be because I've seen other let's plays of the game from people who seemed to have more fun with it but I got the vibe that they were not really wanting to be there, which is absolutely fine! I did find some moments nice and entertaining but overall not my fave and idk about seeing it as a series. I'm open to others thoughts though!

idk? it was a bit too fanservice-y for my taste. just didn’t feel very genuine.

i’m going to respond to these before i write a post about what i loved about this video. to start, i’m genuinely surprised to hear that you thought dnp seemed uncomfortable or disengaged with the game. i couldn’t disagree more? to me a disengaged play through would be if they just read the dialogue really quickly, didn’t provide any commentary, weren’t amused by any of the plot developments, and generally seemed bored? but i honestly perceived them as being incredibly excited about this game. they reacted so positively to so much about it. they appreciated and acknowledged little details like the character design and the art, they really seemed to like that there was a deeper emotional backstory to the central character (dan almost seemed to like put himself in the shoes of the dadsona at one point, when considering how one would handle a situation in which their partner has passed away), they laughed pretty frequently at the dialogue, they had fun playing the bragging contest game, they actually took the time to think about the implications of each new character, discussing the pros and cons of their personalities. 

it’s hard for me to even envision what they would have needed to do to seem more engaged if i’m being honest. like i can’t imagine it? should they have ,, talked more? like? paused every few minutes to earnestly look each other in the eyes and say they’re having so much fun? i’m honestly baffled. to me, if anything, they seemed concerned about getting through each scene quickly but that seemed v obviously bc they wanted to make sure the video length wasn’t horrendous. it’s possible that their quick reading and clicking through each line of dialogue is what struck some people as disinterest? but idk how anyone could read through every bit of that dialogue (there was so fucking much holy shit!) and stay completely high energy and excitable about every line. imo, that approach is what would be fake, disingenuous, and over-performed. i appreciate that there may have been other youtubers who played this game and were much higher energy but that just doesnt seem like dnp’s general demeanor to me? i’d compare this game to their undertale play throughs bc of the sheer length and the amount of clicking around and reading they had to do. dnp, at least in my opinion, very rarely displayed high energy levels during undertale episodes. they would get excited when there were particularly intense fights or when something dramatic happened in the plot, but the vast majority of the game was them being super chill and clicking through the various screens, while still demonstrating that they were excited to see what would happen next and appreciative of all of the beautiful aspects of the game. hell, that’s also how they were in mark of oxin and that’s phil’s own game.  to me nothing about their demeanor in this vid was different than in those past longer vids that we know they genuinely liked, so comparing dnp’s energy levels to other youtubers just seems unfair bc thats just not how they’ve ever acted during longer play throughs. 

im gonna be honest that to me this fear that dnp secretly hated this and were doing it all for the sake of the audience seems more like a product of a general fandom insecurity, namely that if dnp are doing anything remotely queer then it must be to please fans. i hate this audience instinct so much bc it doesnt leave room for the possibility that, hey, dnp might actually be queer and be totally okay with the occasional queer-seeming comment or remark or, in this case, play through of a pretty queer game on their gaming channel. if they’re really so down to please fans with queer content lbr they wouldve cashed in on a fucking chapstick challenge five years ago. i understand that in this case the game genuinely was such a popular fan request and they may not have played it if the audience hadn’t requested it so much (and also if nearly every other gaming youtuber hadn’t already played it), but i think the concern is unwarranted. if dnp were really uncomfortable with a game, they just .. wouldn’t play it. like. (i feel like i say this so often on this blog) they’re in control of their brand and their content. they’ve passed on playing plenty of immensely popular fan requests before (life is strange? mystic messenger? monopoly live stream?) in summary: just bc fans want dnp to do something, it doesn’t mean that dnp inherently don’t want to do it. 

to me there is nothing but positivity to be taken from the fact that dnp felt comfortable playing this, that there wasn’t a shred of discomfort or quibbling over the fact that it was a game about dudes dating dudes, that instead they treated it as completely normal, as just a totally valid, run of the mill (if not exceedingly wholesome and cute) dating simulator. that speaks volumes to me about their growth, about how far they’ve come with what they’re willing to share and explore in their content, about the fodder that theyre okay with providing for audience assumptions and analysis and gifs and screenshots and squealing in caps lock. if they were maybe a tad bit more aware of the audience whilst playing, that just makes sense? this game is pretty much breaking a boundary for them, and they knew going in that it would be discussed to death by their viewers. but i’d rather focus on the fact that there wasn’t a singular comment from either of them that communicated they were uncomfortable or that tried to dilute the queerness of the game. instead they honestly kind of reveled in it? they went out of their way to express what they liked about each new man they saw? they were completely positive and empathetic about a situation in which a man was raising his child on his own after his male partner died? they commented on the dudes’ appearances like it was second nature?

idk. to me it’s awesome, emotional, and incredibly uplifting that they played this game at all, even though they could’ve easily just skipped this fad altogether. but the best part is that they didn’t just play, they seemed to have fun playing, they seemed to really appreciate it. i don’t think they could fake that. they’ve never been v good at acting :) 

anonymous asked:

Bitter Sunday: Tony helping Clint's family fix stuff around the house, because they were nice to him and keep being nice to him and say please and thank you. Meanwhile Clint is out avenging again, and Tony is taking his "consultant" role very literally (at least until the next *serious* attack) because that's all he does and they're reluctant or arrogant enough not to consult him a lot anyway. But Clint's family needs someone to fix the car, so he helps. For free. For a thank you.

Wow, I got this before I even had the chance to ask for anything. I love it! :D (Mostly I’m just really enjoying this bitter Sunday thing and love that you guys are on board with it) Okay, back to business now (though this didn’t turn out very bitter, more just happy!Tony and not much else)


Tony can’t really say no. Not when Laura calls him, sounding as tired as he feels on his worst days, baby Nate crying in the background. Especially not when Rhodey made him promise to not lock himself away in the workshop until the next worldwide alien invasion.

So he comes over on a Saturday afternoon–and if he checked with FRIDAY that Clint would be occupied elsewhere, well, that’s just common sense. Things have been tense between them ever since the airport fight, and Tony’s tired of having the same argument again and again, with no sign of a resolution.

He’s greeted by Lila running up to meet him with wide smile–there’s a tooth missing there, that she’s very proud off–and something tense dissolves in his chest. Laura sends him a relieved smile, shows him the car, in between the thousand and one ‘Thank you’s Tony tries valiantly to wave off.

The afternoon is spent repairing the car, which goes slower and is a lot more fun than Tony expected. Because Cooper is eager to help him, curiously asks question after question and runs happily around, searching for the tools Tony needs. Laughing and talking excitedly about his science project and how Nathaniel has learned how to throw his food around and how Lila doesn’t like dresses anymore because she wants to be a superhero when she grows up, and kicking villains’ butts is easier in pants. When they’re finally finished, Cooper is whooping and high fives Tony, so happy, pulls him into the house–and really Tony never stood a chance.

Of course Laura insists he stay over for dinner, as a (completely unnecessary) thank you. Lila has drawn a picture for Tony and Cooper keeps asking if he’ll please, please come visit again and. Tony is–overwhelmed, a little. Thankfully Laura notices, artfully distracts her children to give him a little breathing room. But he’s also strangely happy, hasn’t felt this light and welcome and appreciated in a long time.

He refuses to take Laura’s money of course. And maybe, maybe he’ll come by again. Soon. Laura’s dishwasher isn’t in the best of conditions anymore, after all.

[Bonus: There’s a poster of Iron Man hanging on Lila’s closet. A framed grade A for Cooper’s science project on his desk. A picture of Tony with an oddly panicked expression as he holds a giggling Nathaniel, who’s curiously patting his beard, hanging on the wall. Clint doesn’t understand.

Laura narrows her eyes, a barely noticeable movement.

“It’s been hanging there for four months, Clint,” she says. There’s a lot in those words she doesn’t say, and for the first time in a long while, Clint notices.]

Quiet || Peter Parker x Reader ||

Characters: Peter Parker x Fem!Avenger!Reader

Fandom: MCU/Spiderman

Request: Hella yeah bless MY FIRST PETER ONE BuT @rafeadderall ur a gem I lov u [can i request a peter parker x reader where the reader is like super shy and reserved in his class or whatever and then he sees her again but on team cap lol? if u can? love u xoxoxoxox] (Requests are always open guys! Send Em through!)

Prompt: You typically keep to yourself at school, however, you have a secret that no one knows about you. You’re different, Just like Peter Parker was different. You both discover each other’s identity during the epic showdown between Team Ironman and Team Captain America. 

Tags: @rafeadderall (if you want to be tagged to get a notification when I post message me!)

Word Count: 2,902

Spoilers: Na, unless you haven’t seen Civil War then

A/N: Yes so my first Peter Parker Imagine, god bless Spider-Man: Homecoming it was such a great movie!!! This however is based off of Civil War so no spoilers unless you haven’t seen Civil War!

PART 2


Y/N sat quietly in her seat in the incredibly silent classroom. The only sounds were the ever so subtle scratching sounds of pen on paper as the other kids in the classroom attempted to nail their Spanish quiz. Of course, Y/N and one other student had already finished the quiz in record timing. That other student being Peter Parker. Both the two were in the top five percent of students who excelled well in any given task. 

They were also the only two students of the entire school to have secrets. Y/N since she was born was incredibly gifted, gifted with enhanced superhuman abilities and given that she was born with that she was able to hide it, hide it a lot better than Peter could despite him doing a well enough job keeping his Spiderman life a secret. Numerous occasions he was almost caught being Spiderman not just by Y/N but others too, like his friend Ned and Aunt May but somehow he still kept his identity well hidden. 

Peter liked Y/N not necessarily in a romantic way, but he appreciated her wits and intellect. He was nice to her but he wouldn’t go as far to say he had a crush on her, sure she was cute and all but it may have been because she was so quiet and to herself that tarnished that idea from Peters mind. Y/N felt mutually the same toward him, appreciating his dedication and smarts. 

The two locked eyes while waiting for everyone else to finish, offering each other a smile before averting their attention elsewhere. It wasn’t long until the others finished and the room was no longer silent and the students were off to their next class. Chemistry. Today’s Chemistry class was a lot different from the others, this time Mrs Cobwell had assigned projects to the class in pairs.

As luck would have it, both Peter and Y/N were paired and were just as awkward as they were when waving to the other down the hall. Now seated next to each other one would have to initiate conversation eventually seeing as both weren’t extroverted enough for that. Peter gulped and opened his mouth to speak. 

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Her Eyes

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: PTSD, alcoholism, death of a child, language <— see I do post warnings. 

A/N: Kate Bishop y’all - enough said. 

Summary: A mission left you clinging to alcohol as a coping mechanism and the team wants you to get help. 

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My thoughts on the Scarlet Witch...

What I find amusing is that people still defend Wanda. We may be Tony bias, but what we said isn’t just bullshit. No matter what we did, it’s always wrong, right? Okay, Wanda might be manipulated by Hydra, but hello, she willingly volunteered herself for the experiment. She was at a young age, yes, but no matter what, you don’t blame the CEO of that weapon’s company. Just because the bomb has the name Stark? Next time if a car accident occurred, let’s not blame the driver, we shall blame the CEO of that car’s manufacturer. People will then say Tony blamed Barnes for killing his parents. Okay, let’s see here. Tony has PTSD, he still hasn’t get over his parents death. His MIT presentation was about re-writing your memories. Which means before Civil War, he was already thinking about his parents. Basically his whole life, to be honest. He might not have a good relationship with his Father, but he loved his Mother. And then, the person whom he trust, lied to him about said deaths. He was the one that reprimanded Tony about keeping secrets, wasn’t he? And then Tony saw his parents death with the killer (no matter what, Barnes still killed them) just right in front of him. Of course he was going to lash out. Barnes was a victim, but it doesn’t erased what he has done.

But back to topic, maybe Wanda was also manipulated by Ultron, but who’s to blame? Tony? Because it always is, isn’t it? It’s because of HER that Ultron was created in the first place. If you have seen Vision, that’s what it was supposed to turn out at the beginning. Tony has a lot of studies in creating AIs. JARVIS, DUM-E, U, BUTTERFINGERS and FRIDAY. All turned out okay. In fact, JARVIS was the most advanced AIs in the world. Wanda felt guilty over what happened in Sokovia, but if she wasn’t ready, don’t get out in the field. Don’t give me the bullshit that she has no control over her powers. She has control over her powers for the whole Age of Ultron movie. I’m grateful she saved Cap, but in doing so, innocent people died. All Tony wanted her to do was stay out of sight, lay low, and yet, what did she do? Attacked Vision. As I said in my post, Tony could have handled it better, but when does he have the time? He could have send anyone, but he send Vision, someone she felt close with. Is she going to pay for the damage she caused? People were angered over the Sokovia incident, no matter how well she meant. If she stepped out, and people attacked her, of course she was going to defend herself. And when she do that, that’s it. And you think Vision can’t protect himself? Hello, his whole being is made out of vibranium. Wanda’s powers came from the mind stone. Vision has the mind stone.

Did she even apologized to Tony for raping his mind? For attacking the Avengers? For brain washing Bruce and caused him to Hulk out? During Iron Man 2, Fury locked Tony in his own house. Putting Coulson on him and said if Tony even misbehaved, he will stunned him and watched him drool. Did Tony whined like a baby? He didn’t. He make used of that time to cure himself of the poisoning.

Let’s talk about the Airport fight. Team Iron Man didn’t use lethal methods. All they wanted was to bring them in. But Team Cap? Wanda literally dropped a bunch of cars on Tony. Excuse me? Yes, he was in the armour, but he’s still HUMAN. When will people ever get that? Clint was holding himself back when fighting Black Widow, but Wanda hurled her away like a doll. And what did she say? You were pulling your punches. I hope people will stop saying she’s young. She has a lot to learn, yes, but if she’s big enough to be in the Avengers and go out for missions, she’s big enough to pay for her crimes. You know, I never read the comics, so I don’t know how Wanda was in it. Maybe she can be good, so I partly blame the writers or whoever wrote her.

Rain (A Bucky Barnes Imagine)

Just, in advance, trigger warnings for depression, suicide, self harm, those sorts of things. The last thing I want is for someone else to feel as awful as I am right now, so if this stuff triggers you, please don’t read. 

If you ever feel this way too, please feel free to message me. I will talk to you about it, and help you through. Don’t be scared to talk to someone, anyone. Trust me, it’s better than keeping those feelings held in for a ton of time.

Rainy days were your favorite. Others love of summer was something you could never understand, nor was the love of the blistering cold winters. The rain, however, there was just something about it. You could open your windows just enough to hear the constant plinking of raindrops splattering against the glass. You could brew a strong mug of tea and enjoy the soothing warmth sliding down your throat and slowly heating you from the inside out. You could open the blinds and watch the various shades of grey cross the sky.

At the moment the sky was a deep, dark grey, bordering on black. The rain pounded relentlessly, so you stuffed a towel in the windowsill to capture any stray drops of water from dripping into an electric outlet, or onto one of the many cords running behind the small, white table beside your chair. Soft music accompanied the pitter-patter of rain giving you the perfect opportunity to dance easily across your small living room, the mug of Lady Grey in hand as you stepped around your cat who was currently mesmerized by the sway of your feet. She hopped towards each foot as you took another step, then curled her body around your ankle, then released so you could make another movement.

Today was a day you’d been looking forward to for weeks. It was the first day you’d had completely to yourself in ages. While you missed the constant chattering from the Avengers, or your admittedly few friends from college, the silence sat content in your heart. You’d instructed JARVIS to keep everyone out of your suite in the tower, and to continue playing music softly. The genre didn’t really matter, you only wanted the background noise so you could read, or work on the paper you had due when you returned to classes in the near future. You still weren’t quite sure when you would return, but knew you would sometime before finals.

Tony was adamant that you complete college with the best grades possible. As a Stark, the grades came easily. You had the same intelligence as your brother, but a very different approach to it all. He took college in stride, never once stopping to wonder if he could do it, because he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, he could. You, on the other hand, constantly second guessed yourself. Living in Tony’s shadow throughout high school had been easy. College was an incredibly different story. The second a professor discovered who you were they instantly expected more, no matter the subject or difficulty. It was the expectations that made you want to quit. You knew you were smart- even Tony had problems understanding the line of work you were studying for- but everyone knowing the name made you want to scream. Days like today helped you forget about the constant pressure. They let you relax, drink your tea, and play with your cat who hadn’t let your side since you’d come home a few nights before.

“Miss Stark, your brother is overriding my systems to come in the room.” JARVIS’s cool voice announced through the intercom. You sighed Of course Tony would do that.

You couldn’t really blame him, though. After the breakdown you’d had a couple days ago, Tony was bound to be protective. If that included completely invading your privacy, then so be it. You didn’t bother turning towards the door when he walked in with a call of your name. He sounded hesitant, which was odd for him. He always waltzed into a room with an air of arrogance about him.

“Alice?” He called out again, trying to figure out where you were in the suite. For all he knew you could be sleeping, and he’d interrupted a nap you desperately needed. You didn’t respond, but quickly curled up in your chair and pretended to be asleep. Maybe he’d leave you alone to enjoy the rain a while longer if he thought you were sleeping.

The living room door opened slowly, giving Tony a sight he had hoped to see. His little sister was cocooned in blankets in her chair, her cat, Chess, perched happily on her shoulder. Her chest rose and fell in a perfect rhythm, but slightly too fast for Alice to have actually been sleeping. Tony shook his head, not in annoyance or anger, but in defeat. She had barely spoken to him since she showed up at the tower, soaking wet, crying, and a general mess three days prior. To say he was worried would have been an understatement. Tony had raised Alice from a baby, when his, and your, parents had died. She was the one thing that managed to keep him from completely self-destructing over the years, and yet here she was barely sleeping, not eating, and spending her days locked in her room. Watching her do this was torture for Tony, but he knew she must have been suffering something much worse.

“Alice?” He spoke her name again, this time wiggling her shoulder just enough to make Chess move. The black and white cat indignantly meowed, but obliged. “I know you’re not asleep. You need to eat something.” His concern was barely masked. “If you don’t get up, I’ll drag you out.” Knowing full well Tony would carry through on this threat, Alice opened her eyes to glance at him.

She didn’t speak a word, but let his eyes scan her identical ones for a read on her. The last thing she wanted was to be around others, and this tower was crawling with Avengers and miscellaneous Stark Industries staff. There was a very good reason why she had barricaded herself away from them all. She’d come out whenever she felt like it.

“Alice Maria, please.” The please added an extra weight. Tony didn’t say ‘please’ to anyone. People just did things for him. The 'please’ changed her mind slightly. Alice uncurled so she could face her brother.

“Because you said please.” You conceded, tossing the blanket aside. Tony’s face bore a minuscule grin. Anyone who didn’t know your brother would mistake it for a smirk, but you knew the difference. A smirk didn’t have the ever so slight curve. You knew he was counting your moving as a victory. You counted it a tragedy. Moving meant speaking with others, and that was simply something you didn’t want to do.

“Pepper made dinner for everyone. I’m just asking you eat a few bites, and sit with us for ten minutes. After that, you can come back up here.” You reached down to pick up Chess. She purred happily at your touch.

“Who’s everyone?” Bruce and Steve, or even Bucky, would be manageable with Pepper and Tony, but you weren’t sure you could handle the others right now. Natasha read into everyone’s actions and motives too much, you just couldn’t bring yourself to like her. Clint was constantly trying to parent everyone who frowned for even a second. Thor was just loud and brash every time you’d been around him. Loki would be a welcome addition to the group, but you highly doubted anyone would be letting you near him. As one of the only residents of the tower untrained in combat, Tony wouldn’t allow you near a threat. Little did he know that you spoke with Loki as often as possible. You and he were kindred spirits, of sorts. He was calm, quiet, and possessed a thought process akin to your own. The difference was, you never intended on using your knowledge or influence to rule others; you could barely rule yourself sometimes, let alone a realm.

“Us, Pep, the super soldiers, and Banner.” At least you could hold a conversation with the Avengers in attendance without feeling judged. “You and Barnes always get along. Maybe you could talk to him for a little while.” While Tony’s words were true, you just didn’t want human interaction. Your brain was in neutral, and you weren’t exactly in control of your words or actions at the moment. Speaking with others seemed like a huge task, but one you would bear if it would alleviate the pain with which your brother watched you so closely.

“Maybe. Bucky is always nice to talk to. He seems to get things I can’t really put into words.” Tony’s smile twitched for a second. Saying you’d consider speaking with someone was a huge accomplishment for the day.

Speaking with Bucky would be a massive feat for you today. Knowing all he had lived through either gave you hope when you spoke, or made things much worse. Sometimes you kept the mentality that if he could live through Hydra, and come back to himself, then you could fight the battle rattling around in your brain. Other times you could see the hand he’d been dealt, and beat yourself into oblivion. He’d managed to work through his problems, problems that were exponentially worse than yours, and you couldn’t even handle stress. What was wrong with you?

Without even talking to him, you already knew which way you would process everything. It was one of those days where you swore you were screaming in a crowded room, yet nobody could see you were screaming for help. At this point, any given thing would run that way.

Tony pressed the button on the elevator for the main floor, where everyone spent the majority of their time.

“Or Bruce. You mentioned wanting to talk to him for the paper you’ve been working on. Maybe you guys could spend some time in the lab later. You’re always comfortable in the labs. Every time you and Bruce start working on something you guys wind up spending hours in there working with chemicals I can’t even pronounce.”

“Bruce is good at keeping me focused. He might be my best choice right now.” The little grin Tony had before vanished. Why did you say that? Tony’s gonna think you don’t want him.

“I know you don’t talk to Cap very much, but he’s a lot wiser than he ever lets on. We’ve had our disagreements, but he’s always someone I can turn to. I’d put money on he’s more than willing to spend some time with you too.” With that, you realized Tony was slightly upset. Saying he and Steve had had their 'disagreements’ was an understatement. The two were ready to rip the other’s throat out half the time. It’s exactly why you tried to avoid Steve when he was around. You didn’t think or act like your brother, but you’d seen the captain angry, and it scared you to death. You didn’t want to be on the receiving end of so much as a glare, let alone a punch.

Not that Steve Rogers would ever threaten you. Even when he and your brother had been at their worst, he always looked out for your safety. Even after their spats during the Battle of New York, and the events in Sokovia, Steve always made sure you were safe. When Ultron threatened to come after you to cause Tony harm, Steve and Tony guarded your dorm room until Ultron had been confirmed far away from you. Family meant the world to the captain. He wasn’t about to let you get injured in the crossfires from any threat tossed your way, even if it meant helping Tony.

Steve was just intimidating. He was a legend. You’d grown up seeing pictures of your dad and him from the war. You’d constantly been surrounded by people asking if Tony would attempt to recreate the Captain America serum, and sell it to the government under Stark Industries name. Rogers was the perfect human, always just in his cause. You knew you’d never be like that, and was convinced he would eventually believe you were in the way of his mission. Plain and simple, you were afraid of him.

“Probably not. I could also just go back to my floor with Chess, and watch a movie. That sounds best.” The pair stepped out of the elevator. Tony blocked the heavy, wooden doors to the dining room.

“If you do that, you have to promise me you’ll come out of hiding tomorrow. Or, talk to someone in hiding. You’re scaring me, Alice. The last couple days aren’t like you at all.” A dark chuckle jumped through your mouth. Tony gave you a pointed stare when you realized this wasn’t something you were meant to laugh at. “I’m serious.” Tony’s eyes darkened a bit. “Promise me.”

You considered his deal for a moment, languishing the last moments away from everyone else before you knew he would force you into the room.

“Fine.” Your voice was flat, unemotional.

Bucky watched as Alice walked in the room. She half-way hid behind Tony, hoping the others would just ignore her presence. Steve continued conversing with Bruce about some sort of scientific nonsense that Bucky just couldn’t care about. Pepper was still in the kitchen adding the final touches to dinner. She was dishing out a buffet of homemade Chinese, complete with noodles and a few rolls of sushi. While Bucky didn’t know what most of the food was, Bruce had mentioned it was Alice’s favorite, so he would eat everything he could to learn why she liked it so much.

“Hey everyone, look who finally left Wonderland.” Tony joked, leaving the room quickly to help Pepper. Suddenly all attention was on Alice, who held Chess closely, and nervously glanced around the room. Steve sat between Bruce and Bucky, leaving several chairs empty.

“Hi guys.” She squeaked. Bruce gave her a greeting through a smile, as did Steve, but Bucky actually stood up, and walked to her side.

“Hey Alice.” He greeted warmly, grabbing her in the most comforting hug he could muster. Bucky took extra care not to squish the small girl under his left arm. His head rested atop hers for a moment before Tony popped back in the room, a tray full of food in tow. Bucky looped her fingers between his. His motion wasn’t meant as a romantic gesture, but to comfort her. From his own experience, occasionally having someone make a little move that showed they cared could make the entire difference in his day. Alice followed him to her chair. She sat Chess down in the chair beside her, then took her seat.

The food looked amazing, but smelled even better. For everything Pepper was, a bad cook wasn’t one of them. Tony and Pepper laid the heaping trays between the Avengers sitting at the table. Several dishes called to you from the trays. Your eyes trailed to the General Tso’s, fried rice, and a California Roll. Your plate was quickly filled. Tony tossed you a Coke.

Sometimes eating was difficult. Despite being hungry, and the food looking perfect, you’d only manage a few bites before you went running to the nearest bathroom for every bit to just come back up. It’s like there was a signal from your brain to your stomach, telling you that nourishment was poison. Other times you could eat, but only a small amount until you felt full. You weren’t sure how this particular instance would run. The only form of nutrition you’d had in three days had been water, a few chips, and a bag of popcorn.

Everyone was eating, aside from you and Bucky. You pushed the chicken from place to place on your plate while he watched you, noting how you rearranged the meal to only appear as if you’d been eating.

“How’s college going?” Bruce broke up the silence that had settled over the group. You shrugged. You were passing all your classes with flying colors, and were on track to graduate within a few months.

“It’s good. I’ve been spending a lot of time at Three-Mile Island sampling the environment, radiation, and biologicals. I’ve been conducting a few experiments with the residual radiation there. It’s causing raised cancer rates in all vegetation, animal life, and humans within about a ten mile radius, and consistently exposing those close to around 1.4 mrem/year. It’s nothing huge, but the alpha and gamma are being blamed for the increased cancers. I’m trying to identify which one, assuming the radiation is actually causing the rates and not a biological, and start shielding the facility better.”

Bruce seemed amazed at your studies. Students weren’t typically offered the chance to work in the field, but yet you were, and you were doing very well with it. His emerald eyes were wide with interest.

“That’s wonderful! The emitters are primarily Xenon and Krypton, right? You’ll love working with those, just make sure you have all the proper shielding, or they get messy quick.” A smile graced your lips for a second.

“If you’d like, you can come with me when I go back next semester. I’m sure I can use your help.” Your offer made him smile.

“I just might take you up on that. It’s been ages since I’ve gotten to get out and do field work.”

The sounds of scraping forks and chewing filled the room. Bucky had began eating after watching you talk, but still watched your actions closely. You choked down two bites of rice, took a swig of coke, then watched everyone else. Your ten minutes was up, and you needed a good excuse to leave.

“So, Alice, what exactly is it that you’re studying? Tony’s tried to explain it to me, but I don’t really understand.” Steve, of all people, spoke up. Internally, you groaned. You just wanted to go back to your room.

“It’s a branch of environmental engineering that focuses on radiation and chemistry. I’ll be graduating with a doctorate in environmental and in chemistry next semester. Most of it is just sampling and testing stuff. Occasional disaster clean up. After everything here in New York I had a blast handling the fallout.” That description earned a chuckle from all in attendance. “You guys are a miracle for the environmental world. Keep busting up buildings, and I’ll keep a good job.” This earned another.

“You could always operate the environmental section of Stark Industries, and never have to worry about keeping a good job.” Tony suggested.

“Or, I can branch out, and not run a company. I’d rather be in the field.” Your stomach started churning. Why are you like this? Why can’t you hold down two bites of rice?

“Or, you can be safe and sound where I can keep an eye on you in case someone ever tries to go after you because of me.” Your stomach tightened a little bit more.

“Tony, we’ve talked about this.” Your voice was uneven. Between your stomach slowly threatening to dump those whole, two bites of dinner, and Tony arguing your future in front of everyone, you had to get out. “C'mon Chess.” You called your cat, scooted back the chair, and practically ran from the room.

Each Avenger in attendance eyed one another for a moment after Alice fled the room. Tony stared at her empty seat until Pepper placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping to pull him out of the daze he was trapped in. Bucky took her plate to the kitchen to clean. He couldn’t handle the silent judgement being passed around the table.

“Tony, we have to figure out what’s going on with her. She’s scaring me.” Pepper confided in her counterpart. His head shook involuntarily as a hand raked through the mess of dark hair atop his head.

“She won’t talk to anyone, Pep. Believe me, I’ve tried.” Tony placed both elbows on the table then rested his head in his hands. Bucky stayed in the kitchen, listening to the conversation happening behind the door.

Steve’s teeth clenched. His jaw was tight, his eyebrows were furled in confusion. Alice had never been close to him, but even he could tell when somebody was upset. Whatever was going through her head wasn’t good. The look on her face, the blank, emotionless gaze she watched everything with was one he saw nearly everyday after he was unfrozen. It was caused by a feeling of nothingness, of uselessness, like she didn’t belong.

Bruce liked to think he knew Alice well. Since he’d become part of the Avengers, and met Alice, they had become good friends. She never judged him for the Hulk. She never feared him, or tip-toed around him, whether that be in the form of questions, or how she treated him. Alice truly respected Bruce for the human he was, and she never let him forget that he was, in fact, human. The respect was most definitely reciprocated. While he tended to spend more time with Tony, Alice was always a welcome addition to their forays into science. Bruce didn’t have siblings until he met the Starks, and now he had two constant companions to speak with when he was particularly beating himself up. When Alice had her bad days, Bruce was always there for her. When Tony called three nights ago, Bruce flew to New York from Washington immediately. He had to check on Alice.

“Have you tried letting her actually chose her future?” Steve, much to Bruce’s amazement, spoke up. “She really doesn’t seem like the idea of running a company, or even working for it, is what she want out of life.”

“Yes, but I know what’s better for her. The world is dangerous. I’ve made it more dangerous for her, and she can’t protect herself. You guys have met her; Alice is so docile and quiet. She’ll get killed out there, and it will be my fault. I have to protect her.” Bucky chuckled in the kitchen at Tony’s argument. Yes, Alice was quiet and docile, but she also had a fire in her that wasn’t easily extinguished. She couldn’t fight; she didn’t know how, but you could put money on her ability to manipulate someone. Alice didn’t need a suit, she could talk anyone into anything, and make them think it was their idea without realizing it, or her even realizing she made them do it.

“If protection is the real issue, build her a suit. Have Buck and I teach her to fight. Buy her a gun, and teach her how to use it.” His jaw set pointedly. Bucky walked back in the room after hearing the silent tension setting in. Leave it to Steve to state what nobody else wanted to hear, but what was also the truth.

Tony’s eyes turned dark. His gaze shot directly at the Captain who wore a rather annoyed look upon his face.

“And you would know so much about what the real issue is, wouldn’t you? You’re who she talks to about every little thing, right? Cap, you can cut out the big brother routine. Nobody else here knows Alice better than I do.”

Chess paced the room anxiously as you slammed the door, manually locked it, and threatened JARVIS should he let Tony in again. You didn’t care what it took, Tony was not to come in until you said so. Nobody else was allowed until further notice either. Eating dinner had been a mistake. Letting Tony talk you into socializing was a mistake. Coming to the tower instead of a hospital had been a mistake.

Everything had been a mistake. College, your career field, living under Tony’s shadow; every last thing in your life had been a mistake. A huge mistake. Being around all of these amazing people made you realize how little you would ever amount to. Sure, you were a good student, a smart student, but brains did not matter in the world you lived in. Super hero world was crazy, and you didn’t belong, despite the protests of Tony and Pepper. You simply didn’t. You couldn’t harm a fly, let alone learn to fight. You were a liability to the Avengers, to SHIELD, and to every agency involved with the two.

Your feet found their way back to your chair. The blanket you’d been hiding under earlier still laid haphazardly against the arm of the chair. Then it was covering your shoulders, and Chess paced back and forth in circles around your feet, softly mewing and purring with each pass. He finally quieted, taking his place laying on the excess blanket pooled at your feet. His paws batted lazily across the fabric looking for a string to pull. While Chess was content, you were squirming internally.

“Chess, I’m just so tired of this.” He didn’t answer, but you hadn’t expected him to, but hearing your voice bounce around the room was a pleasant reminder that you had something you could control. “It’s not Tony, not really. He’s overbearing, but his head is in the right place.” Chess meowed as if to respond. “It’s me. I’ll have this degree. I have this life. I have everything I’ve ever wanted, and I feel guilty for it, Chess. I don’t matter. I never have. I’m a rich kid living on the legacy her father left behind, and trying to not get in the way of everyone else.”

The rain was falling harder now. The sky had dulled completely to black. Well, not black. New York never allowed for the light in the sky to diminish to black. It more so faded to shades of blue and yellow, creating a hazy green coating the streets, skies, and everything in between. This familiar sight tended to bring calm to your heart. The last few days it hadn’t, and you just couldn’t figure out why.

Nothing was making sense anymore. Things you used to love were paling in comparison to things you hated. You’d always worn a facade of smiles, but it was becoming harder to do this successfully by each day.

And no, it wasn’t Tony. It wasn’t the ridiculous life you’d been privileged to. It wasn’t even knowing you weren’t anything close to the Avengers other than Tony’s kid sister. Something so deep in your bones ached. It seeped into your every waking thought, and rarely let you sleep. Time was irrelevant now, when you used to plan out every facet of the day. No more were there study times set aside, or an hour to read, or a specified time for you to simply do nothing. No, everything spun together rapidly. You went from one extreme to the next, and never had a moments rest to ensure your enthusiasm for the next item on your agenda.

Truth be told, the significant lack of organized time was only a piece of the puzzle. You frequently found yourself questioning morals, and the social constructs put in place that ever fascinated, yet confused your soul. Sticking out like a sore thumb was nothing new, but you had all but quit caring about this. Nothing phased you anymore, and yet everything sent you reeling into a pit of anxiousness and despair.

What if I just didn’t exist? Tony wouldn’t have to worry about me. Bruce wouldn’t have to answer my texts when I wake up with nightmares. Nobody else would have to deal with me anymore.

It wasn’t a suicide wish, per say. It was more of a wish to stop existing. To let the world continue on without your influence. With one less person, you’d be one less mouth to feed around the tower, and wouldn’t Tony be the only one who would really miss you? Pepper would too, but she would get over it in time. Besides, its not like you hadn’t contemplated this before. Pepper and Tony should expect this by this point.

Chess was sleeping at your feet. You rolled the blanket up around his purring form and unfolded your arms from under your knees. A shower might help for a little while anyway.

You grabbed a set of clean clothes; jeans and a black Stark Industries hoodie, sat them down on the sink, and turned on the faucet. Only hot water flowed into the bathtub. Not a shower, a hot bath might help. You stripped down, then climbed in the bath with your cell phone in hand.

You hadn’t checked your phone since earlier this morning. Nobody from college had tried to contact you, but your phone was flashing a blue light meaning there were missed texts sitting in your inbox.

Tony: Doing okay up there?
Need anything?
Pepper wants to know if you want to talk to her. She’s worried something happened that you don’t want to talk to me about.
Alice?
I’m sorry for what I said at dinner. Cap and I had a few words, and I may have been a little over-protective. Alice, I swear I didn’t mean to come off as controlling, or rude, or anything like that. You’re all I have in this world other than Pep, and you’re my baby sister. It’s hard seeing you grow up and choose your life for yourself. I want you to be happy, and to do whatever it takes for you to be happy. Forgive me?

And now you were crying again. Tony just didn’t understand. He had nothing to do with what you were, or what you were doing. The idea of Tony being torn up over you being gone was one of the few things keeping you from doing it to begin with. You slumped down in the hot bathwater, but kept your phone, hands, and head above the water. Tears dropped from your chocolate eyes in drops large enough to rival the amount of water spouting from the faucet. In an effort to suede his guilt, you texted him back.

Alice: Nothing like that happened, and that I swear. What you said freaked me out. Not because of what you said, but how I handled it. You’re definitely forgiven, and I’m sorry for every little bit of panic I’ve caused you. I’m not worth it.

Send. The next set of messages were from Bucky. There were only two there, waiting to be read.

Bucky: Wanna talk?
I will break into your room if you don’t start talking to someone. I can, and I will. Don’t think I won’t.

Bucky was something else. He was always up to talk to you about anything, and was the only one you didn’t mind being completely honest with. He wouldn’t miss you. You were the girl he talked to when nobody else was available to speak with. It didn’t matter that you legitimately enjoyed his company. Bucky was incredible for everything he’d been through, but to him you had to be nothing more than some girl who thought her life was awful. You never thought that, but sometimes nothing was right.

Alice: The door is locked, but there’s a key stashed in a copy of Gone With the Wind in the sixteenth floor library on my desk. Give me a few minutes. I’m in the bath.

Bucky: Okay.

You laid your phone down on the tile floor. The water is an easy way to go. I’ve been awake for a couple days without sleep. They’ll just think I fell asleep. I was just texting Bucky and Tony. They won’t think I did this on purpose. And Tony wont have to find me. Then your head was under water. The heat was pleasant, loving, and rewarding. It flowed endlessly around your body keeping you warm from any cold the world was offering against it.

You breathed in, allowing the water to fill your nostrils, then down your throat then to your lungs. Your body fought against the water, forcing you to attempt coughing. You fought it by breathing in more of the warming liquid. Somewhere between the fourth and fifth breath your mind began to drift away from the act of breathing. It shifted into acceptance, and you quit fighting yourself.

——

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, Let it Be.

The Beatles had always been your favorite band. From the moment you first heard Hello Goodbye in Tony’s lab when you couldn’t have been but ten years old, they had been your favorite.

And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, Let it be.

They were relaxing. Their voices overlaying with one another gave you reason to smile when their tones harmonized perfectly. A sleepy smile glazed over your face.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree. There will be an answer, let it be. And though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see. There will be an answer, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Yeah there will be an answer, let it be.

“C'mon, Alice, don’t do this.” Why the Hell were you hearing Bucky over The Beatles? Where was your memory of Tony telling you how to work the record player so you could listen to their first album over and over while he worked on weapons? Where was your blissful nothing? “Alice, please.”

Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Yeah there will be an answer, let it be.

And though the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow, let it be. O, will I make up the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

“Don’t be dead.” You heard before feeling cold tile against your skin and metal on your chest. Your eyes flitted long enough for you to see sheer panic flooding the Winter Soldier’s features. His eyes darkened to a stormy grey, his brow furrowed in exasperation, then he took a breath and started chest compressions.

It didn’t take long before you were jolting up, spewing water from your lungs. Bucky grabbed a towel for you to cover yourself, then immediately carried you to the bedroom where he sat you down on the bed and rolled a blanket over your crying form.

Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Yeah there will be an answer, let it be.

The song was sticking out. Through tears, water, and emotion, Let It Be struck a chord through everything. You laid perfectly still, staring at the ceiling, and let every tear you’d held back fall. Every ounce of hatred, malice, and discontent loosened it’s grip, and you bawled.

Anger and annoyance with Tony? Gone.

Frustration with college? Gone.

While you could still feel depression pulling it’s strings in the background, you couldn’t help but feel genuine thankfulness for life in this fleeting moment of serenity. Sure you’d be it’s puppet again, but, for now, you’d cracked through the seams and were fully experiencing something for the first time in months.

Chocolate eyes opened wide. You shoved a solitary clump of hair from your face, then stared at the ceiling. Indigo, like the night sky, with flecks of violet and charcoal dotting along in no particular order.

Bucky intently watched your every move. From your eyes opening to you rolling to your side and tucking your knees to your chest. Crying wasn’t quite the correct word for what you were doing. It was more of a gentle sob, but what mattered was that you could do it, that you were alive to cry.

You’d been laying there crying for so long you hadn’t noticed Bucky sitting on the bed running his fingers through your hair. Or him whispering something softly under his breath.

“Breath, just breathe.” His voice was so much softer than you’d ever heard before. It wasn’t gruff or pained. It was flooded with concern and a little something else you couldn’t identify. Love? No, not in the romantic sense, anyway. Friendship could have a powerful love, a love you had often doubted anyone else held for you. Bucky was so distant and aloof at the best of times, but was always there when you wanted to talk. He made you feel better about everything so much of the time, and yet you still debated whether or not he cared for you at all. Your head wouldn’t let you believe anything else, but here he was, combing his fingers through your hair and whispering into your ear while you were dealing with the most drastic choice you’d ever made in your life.

“If you can calm down enough to listen, repeat after me.” You nodded, sniffled, then listened. “My name is Alice Stark.” You didn’t copy him. “Alice, please. This will help, trust me.” Bucky telling you to trust him was redundant, you trusted him with your life.

“My name is Alice Stark.” You hesitantly replied, not trusting your voice to refrain from cracking. The sound was wavered and minuscule,but loud enough for Bucky to hear you.

“My brother is Tony Stark. I’m in college for environmental engineering.” You took a deep breath.

“My brother is Tony Stark. I’m in college for environmental engineering.” Bucky nodded after you took another breath. The crying was ebbing slightly, giving your voice much more power than previously.

“My cat’s name is Chess, short for Cheshire.”

“My cat’s name is Chess, short for Cheshire.” Another breath, another sentence.

“My closest friend is a hundred year old assassin.” You snorted, earning a grin from said hundred year old assassin.

“My closest friend is a hundred year old assassin.” Your breathing was returning to normal, and your crying had all but stopped. You released your arms from your knees then rolled over to face Bucky who was still coming your hair. He’d worked the knots left from water out of one, individual section, leaving it smooth and easy to maneuver.

“Can you breath alright now?” His words were soft, like cotton.

“I-I think so. Why did you have me do that?” You questioned softly.

“Steve makes me do it when I’m breaking down. It’s supposed to help ground you, and help you remember what’s real versus what’s happening in your head. I swear it’s saved my life a time or two.” He took a deep breath in.

His caramel irises met a pair of chocolate ones for a brief second, and suddenly you understood the depth of his help for you. Bucky was someone who didn’t believe his life was worth living, and still continued to live despite everything. Bucky, who fought everyday not to do what you’d just done, was sitting here making sure you didn’t try again.

“How long was I in there?” You mumbled, still gazing into his eyes. He blinked quickly.

“Just a minute or two. Long enough that you’re not dead. Tony made a comment about you apologizing for everything, and saying you weren’t worth worrying, so I picked the lock and broke in your suite.”

You laid there, not saying a word or looking at him. You glanced at the ceiling, then back to Bucky.

“Why did you do it, Alice? You’ve mentioned it before, but never acted on the idea. Why?”

Both of you sat in silence for several minutes while words swam through your head. Everyone else controlling my life. Not being allowed to live. Depression; what I would give to live without constantly feeling nothing. Anxiety; what I would give to live without always breaking down over the paper due in a month every time I think of it. College in general. It’s so lonely there. I have no one there. No one to so much as talk to when I’m having an especially bad day. You guys have too much else to worry about without adding me to the equation. I’m tired of being a Stark, and being in the public eye every time I use the restroom. It’s a never ending cycle.

All of this aside, you came down to one simple reason: I’m done with everything.

“Everything.”

“Everything?”

“Everything. You and Bruce are my only friends. He has too much to deal with in general, and you are always on missions. I can’t bother you when it could literally kill you. Then there’s school. I love learning, but the stress is too much. If I fail one class, I’m out of my program. If my GPA drops below a 3.875, I fail. Coming here this week has already put me so far behind in classes I may not graduate anyway, but I couldn’t handle knowing what all was happening. Something in me just cracked, and suddenly I had been sitting in my apartment for four hours just crying and staring at a wall with every thought in the world flying through my mind. I had to get out of there. It’s why I came here.”

The room quieted for several minutes while you carefully thought over your next words. Words are precarious little things. Speak the wrong words, and you can bring an entire nation to its feet in revolt. Uttering the right words can bring you anything you choose in life. For the first time in your life you didn’t know what to say.

“Have you ever saw who you are, what you’ve become, and hate every bit of it?” Bucky broke the silence with a hushed question. “And every little thing just seems like more than you can handle? Like, noises are excruciating, anything you touch feel like knives stabbing you where ever you were touched. ”

You nodded. Bucky had literally felt knives stabbing him all over, he’d heard noises loud enough to make him want to bash his head in. Bucky had dealt with more than his fair share of pain. He’d dealt the same pain to others against his will. Of course he would feel like that from time to time.

“I’d take that over having to deal with what rattles around in my brain sometimes. Tell me exactly what you were thinking that pushed you over.”

Silence, again.

“That nobody would think I’d actually tried to kill myself. That whoever found me would think I’d fallen asleep in the bath. That’s why I texted you and Tony back. It seemed like a good idea to keep everyone from thinking I’d done it on purpose. You guys shouldn’t have to worry about me.”

A chuckle escaped his throat. You weren’t sure whether is was on purpose, or if the sound fell from an involuntary reaction.

“That might have worked on Tony and Pepper. They’d be in denial, and believe that because they wanted to. Your body would have woken you up when you breathed in water unless you were drugged. The rest of us would have known. Bruce would be a mess. Steve would obsess over how he could have prevented it. I-I would have lost the only person who seems to be okay with who and what I am, despite what I’ve done to her own family. The person I talk to as soon as I get through a mission, to let her know I’m alive and fine afterwards. Yeah, I’ve got Steve, but you help me understand the world now. You give me your honest opinions and thoughts. I’ve apparently not been good at showing how thankful I am for you if you honestly believe you’re not worth worrying over.” His voice rose as he passionately explained. He was sitting up now, yet still messing with your hair.

The chuckle was definitely not something done on purpose.

“Why do I matter so much?” You wrapped the blanket tight then sat up. Bucky squeezed his right arm around your shoulders.

“You remind me of my sister. She was so sweet, innocent, and loved everyone enthusiastically. Her hair was a little lighter than yours, and her eyes a little darker. She humbled me on more occasions than I can remember. You and her have so many similarities, it’s almost scary.” He chuckled. “But you’re so different in every way as well. You’re you, and that’s what makes you matter so much. For what it’s worth, I’d miss you like crazy.”

You sat in silence for several minutes, letting the sound of rain tapping on the window beside the bed fill the room.

“Can you help me get through this?” Your voice quivered uncertainly.

“With anything you need, Alice.” His eyes met yours once more.

“Can you just stay with me tonight? Just hold me, and make sure I’m okay?” More uncertainty, but Bucky simply smiled.

“If that’s what you want, then I won’t leave your side. But, first, you should probably put on some clothes.” Bucky got up from the bed and kept his back turned to you.

You dropped the blanket on the bed, then grabbed the comfiest looking shorts and t-shirt. A few moments later Bucky had changed into pajamas. You laid your head on his chest as his left arm wrapped protectively around you once again.

“I know I’ve got Tony, but you make a pretty good older brother. Your sister was lucky to have you.” A smile rose on Bucky’s lips.

“Well, you’ve got me now. I’m not leaving any time soon, Alice.”

Baby, Rock On - ft. Jimin & Hoseok

Summary: Jimin followed the company’s orders about not having a relationship while being an idol, and ended it with you even though he was still in love with you. Everywhere he goes, he gets reminded of you and misses you even more. He’s tried to move on, until you showed up at the dorm one day with, which took him by surprise.

Song: Rock On - Tucker Beathard

Word count: 5695

I guess a Jimin angst, and Hobi fluff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfmPOwr5ZeY

Originally posted by jihope-less

Girl I really did mean it when I wished you the best


“Jimin get away from me!” You slapped his hand away right before it was about to land on your shoulder. He flinched at your loud words, and actions. He was hurt to say the least, he didn’t want to do this, but the company was making him.

“Babe,” he brought his hands to his sides and licked his lips, his eyes were glistening, showing you that he was ready to cry at any minute. “I don’t want to do this.” You could hear the break in his voice, as it became a whisper.

“Then don’t do it Jimin.” The tears were falling down your cheeks, as you used the back of hands to wipe them away. “Tell me to stay Jimin!” You let out a little sob as he shook his head.

“I can’t Y/N.” You turned your head to the side and nodded, then sucking in a great amount of air to hold your tears back a little more. “I wish I could babe, I wish this isn’t how it has to end.” In his 3 years with you, he never thought that he would have to do this. You were both in love with each other, sharing an apartment, motivating each other to chase their dreams. He always told you that you will always be there with him, through thick and thin and not even joining BigHit would make you leave him. That was until they told him he had to get rid of you otherwise he wouldn’t debut.

“I’ll have my things moved out in a few days.” You said it so coldly. You slipped on your jacket, and grabbed your car keys. Jimin was right behind you as you were walking to the door. This was it, this was goodbye.

“I still love you Y/N.” Were his last words to you, as you shook your head and slammed the door. Once you got into your car, you broke down. The love of your life was chasing his dream and you were standing in the way this whole time.

While back inside, Jimin sat on the couch in complete silence with his head in his hands, the tears falling down. He looked up to see all of the pictures you two had taken together, and all of the memories that were created along the way. He wanted you to be by his side for so much longer, but the company wouldn’t allow it. He chose his career over you, and it’s going to haunt him until the day he dies.


Good to hear you’re killing it way out west


You never kept up with Jimin and what he was doing. You would hear his name every now and then on the TV, from talking about music videos to tv shows to radio interviews. But, you always ignored him, and stayed away from listening about him and hearing how he was doing. He promised you forever, and you didn’t receive forever.

In the meantime, you wanted to focus on college even more. You studied as much as you could to get your mind off of him, and after another long 2 years, you finally became a doctor. One of the top students to graduate your class, and you couldn’t be more proud. Your life was just getting started, and even though you were doing it alone, you felt accomplished, and on top of the world.

__________

Jimin always wondered what you were up to everyday. He didn’t have much time to check up on you, but he always thought about you and it made his heart ache even more. What would happen if you two stayed together and he hid you from BigHit? The endless amount of ‘what ifs’ hit him every single day, because he misses you, and is still hopelessly in love you.

While getting his hair done before they went live that night, he was scrolling through twitter when something caught his eye. A university tweeted a picture of their graduates from Med school. He clicked on it because something, or someone looked all too familiar.

And there you were, in your white jacket with your hair pulled back, smiling at the camera. ‘You did it Y/N.’ Jimin thought to himself. All of those night studying at your desk instead of going to bed, all of those nights falling asleep at the library and all of those nights that 2 pots of coffee were consumed, they all paid off.

You got your dream, and he got his.

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the afternoon, the evening; the cups, the tea

Title: the afternoon, the evening; the cups the tea
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: PG-13 / ~14,000
Summary: They don’t have much time, but Chris and Darren find a few days to hide away during the Carnival of Basel in Switzerland.

This story exists as a part of the Prufrock ‘verse, but can be read as a stand-alone fic.

Written for @fandomtrumpshate, auction bid won by @stopandimaginelove. Thank you to @accidentalacoustics and @alittledizzy for putting their eyes on it.

[AO3]

among some talk of you and me…

***

“You’re crazy.”

“You say that so often I think it means I love you.”  Darren looked up from his laptop with a grin.  Chris sat on the other end of the couch, frowning at his own glowing screen and not responding.  Darren scrunched his nose. “Not so much?”

“This is a Bad Idea,” Chris commented instead, tapping at the keyboard with impatient fingers.

“Did you say that with all caps, or did I just hear it that way?”

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tyler seguin // i’m your biggest fan

warnings: mentions of alcohol

who: tyler seguin x reader

premise: tyler discovers ur fan account….

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When you chose to be a marketing media major in college, you weren’t really thinking about how you could apply it. It seemed interesting and not too difficult, so you picked it without a second thought. Fresh out of college, you were beginning to regret the decision. Your business and econ major friends were finding jobs so quickly, but you couldn’t even find a job opening that worked with your major, let alone an actual job.

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where did you go?

summary: y/n finally gets a time to reconnect with her ex, daveed, but not all things end with happy endings.

request: nope

warning: none

an: based off of where she went finally bc ive wanted to do this for so long. Lowkey i’m just going to make a hashtag named ‘rewind’ so you can find stuff with flashbacks.

feedback is appreciated

“What would you say to him if you could?” The interviewer asked as she held the point of her pen against the small sheet of paper. Y/N bit her lip at the question. What would she say to the man who made her feel anything and everything? She wouldn’t know, if he was in front of her she would probably freeze up and become a stuttering mess, which he would then bring up the memory of her in highschool when he walked in on her singing. She was a stuttering mess then and she froze up. God, the memory felt as if it was just yesterday; the frizzy hair and ugly clothes, it was all like a blur inside her head.

“Um,” Y/N chuckled softly and she rested her hand on her chin, her index messing with her bottom lip. “Perhaps maybe, if he remembered the sleepless nights together.” Y/N responded to the question, the younger girl nodding. “And why that memory?” She paused as she wrote down Y/N’s answer before continuing. “If you don’t mind me asking.” Y/N laughed and leaned back against the chair that she was in.

“It was an amazing time,” Y/N tried to explain, “W-We use to go to McDonalds really late at night and we would go to a building and climb it and just look at the stars until the sun rose. It use to happen every Friday night.” Y/N smiled at the fond memory. The younger girl nodded and wrote down the words that would come from Y/N’s lips.

“And what happened to you guys? You two seemed happy, according to a few people at your high school. What happened?” Y/N’s breath got caught in her throat. She didn’t really know what happened, only that he had been accepted to Brown and she was accepted to Juilliard. They had constant arguments about her decision to go to New York and possibly that’s what caused the fall out.

“Well, we both went to different colleges and we just had to end it. The distance was too far.” Y/N tried to explain as a waiter came over to ask their drink orders. Y/N ordered a water and a glass of wine.

“But if you really loved each other couldn’t you two worked that out?” She asked and looked up with raised eyebrows.

Y/N’s eyebrows contorted in confusion before she replied with “I suppose so, but -”

“Why couldn’t you two work it out? You say that you loved him -”

“I never said I loved him.” Y/N tried to defend.

“You have hinted at it and everyone else has said how much you two loved each other. The world wants to know why you and Daveed Diggs couldn’t work that out.” Her pen fell on the table as she pressed the question. How was Y/N suppose to answer that? Why did the world want to know? They had no right to know that information. They had no right to know about their problems, their arguments, their good days.

“I think the interview is over.” Y/N whispered as she lifted herself from the bed. She picked up the glass of wine and downed over half of it before doing the same to the water. She huffed out a breath and took the bag she had brought with her. Y/N dug for a twenty, laying the change on the table before walking out. She felt around the large bag for her phone, hoping that she could find it.

When she did she noticed the beautiful lock screen. It was a old picture, one from college. She had seen Daveed almost right after she graduated and they had gotten a picture at the small dinner they met at. She had a huge grin on her face as did he, her cap and gown still on her. His hair was wild and he had a bowtie around his neck and a black button up. He had a date that day. Why he was in New York, she wouldn’t know that answer.

Her thumb held the small button until it unlocked, her fingers went to the small green and white button and hovered over it for a good ten seconds before she officially tapped it and scrolled through the old messages. She found Daveed’s name, the old message being bittersweet. Her lip was pulled under her teeth as she pressed the small message and reread it.

From: Daveed Diggs

December 12th, 2016

im slightly drunk and i miss you, we need to meet up again.

She sighed loudly and looked up at the dark sky. She hadn’t replied to that message and she never thought she would but God, she needed someone who wasn’t a total jackass.

Her fingers touched the small bubble before tapping away, asking for his help.

He replied almost instantly before apologizing for replying so fast.

This pushed a choked giggle to her lips. Y/N quickly typed her reply with a smile, she was hesitant about actually asking if he was still in New York and if he could pick her up, but she did it anyways. She locked her phone and kept it in her hand as she looked around the street. Y/N sighed and began to walk down the cold streets, goosebumps appearing. She opened the door to a small cafe, shivering slightly. The warmth of the air hugged her while the smell of coffee welcomed her. This is when she decided to check her texts, smiling when he agreed. Y/N sent the address of the small shop and waited for him to arrive. She hummed to pass time, ordered a small coffee and posted on snap.

Her attention was taken away from her phone when someone sat beside her, pushing her to the window. She was about to tell the person to leave but when she looked up from her phone, her confused expression turned into one of happiness.

“Hey!” She greeted excitedly.

“Hey.” Daveed smiled. He looked between her, the phone and the cup of coffee before grabbing at the coffee and taking a drink.

“Okay. That’s cool.” Y/N laughed as she took the coffee from him. “It’s my coffee, not yours.” She responded. Her lips staying in a smile.

“I came to pick you up, it’s the least you could do.” He teased as Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.”

They sat together for a few minutes, catching up on the few years they hadn’t spoken. Daveed enthused about the group he was in and the musical he was apart of, explaining how singing with her all those times helped her. Y/N enthused about the show she was in and the musical she had just joined. He seemed interested, so when they retired to the car she explained more. Telling him about being a ‘Heather’ and what it was like to perform so often.

“Do you enjoy it? The long nights and stuff?” Daveed asked as he turned a corner. Y/N nodded and took a sip of her warm coffee. “It’s one of my favorite parts. I love it so much.” Y/N enthused.

“I’m enjoying Hamilton.” Daveed told her, a wide smile on his face. “It’s amazing to watch everyone enjoy the show.” Y/N smiled.

“It’s a great feeling.” Y/N whispered as she nodded, a silence enveloping them. They didn’t know what to talk about, what do you talk about?

“How did college go?” Y/N asked, knowing very well that he graduated twelve years prior.

“Good.” He simply responded as his lips formed a line, “You?” He looked over at the beautiful girl next to him.

“Uh, alright. Kind of rough.” Y/N admitted as she turned her head to look out of the window. It was rough and she wasn’t afraid to admit that. It had been extremely rough for her since she was far from home and she didn’t have a comfort to help her with the feeling of anxiety that constantly took over her.

“C-Clipping. sounds good.” Y/N complimented and turned her head back to Daveed, a small smile on her face. His eyebrows twisted and a shy smile appeared.

“You listen to us?” He asked with a small laugh. Y/N was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t think she would listen to them. She thought they were great and if she hadn’t known Daveed earlier in her life, she would see him in concert as much as she could.

“Well… yeah. My mom sent me a link to your music one day.” Y/N told him as he laughed. “Good old Mrs. Y/L/N keeping up with me better than her own daughter.” He laughed softly. Y/N’s smile faltered. She did keep up with him, God she did. She knew he had a girlfriend, but she didn’t know if they were still together. She knew that he was in a musical, it was everywhere. “Yeah…” Y/N whispered quietly. Silence overtook them again, but this time it felt uncomfortable and if she had the chance she would have him stop the car so she could walk the rest of the way.

“How’s your girlfriend?” Y/N asked, Daveed’s eyebrows raised before replying.

“Broken up.” He stated.

“Oh.” Y/N responded.

“Why?” He asked and looked over at her when he arrived at a red light.

“Curious.” She mumbled.

Y/N began to bite the inside of her cheek, itching to ask a certain question. Her eyes stared at all of the lights as he drove. They were a blur. Her heart raced and her hands began to sweat as she tried to find the courage to ask the question.

“Where did you go?” Y/N asked as she turned her head to look at Daveed, her eyebrows knitting as her teeth taking her bottom lip hostage. “Why did you leave?” Y/N asked quietly. Her eyes felt wet as she asked the question. Daveed’s heart stopped at the question and he didn’t know how to react. His eyes narrowing before opening again, he looked over at her before looking back at the rode.

“Y/N…” He spoke softly as he moved his right hand to her left, “No.” Y/N spoke quietly as she moved her hand away. “Just tell me why.” Y/N spoke.

“I -” Daveed tried to start but got caught off as he bit his lip. “I-I was scared.” He stuttered out, “You were going to be so successful and you are… We’re the same age and my life is just starting. You have accomplished so much and I wanted to keep everything going but I thought we were going to drift apart and never talk and I just…” Daveed shook his head softly before he pulled over and put it in park.

“I love you so much and I was scared.” Daveed admitted.

“Y-You could have stayed.” Y/N whispered as she sniffled. “I wanted you to stay.” Y/N’s voice was quiet.

“I wish I did.” He admitted.

“Me too.” Y/N responded and took a deep breath, wiping her eyes. “C-Can you just… take me home?” Y/N asked quietly as Daveed nodded.

Light Me Up | Chapter 2

Originally posted by chwelove

Pairing: Vernon x OFC featuring S.Coups & Jeonghan

Genre: angst, fluff, humor

Word Count: 4539

[ Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 ] + Moodboard

Summary:  Just as the moon had her scars and imperfections, so did she. And he loved every bit of it. To him, she was the moon that shone brightest in these rare moments. The moon who’s light had been dimmed. To her, he was the sun that would eventually, light her up in every way. Only she hadn’t accepted it yet. She hadn’t yet accepted the light slowly growing inside her chest, but it wouldn’t be long until she did.

“If you can love the wrong one so much, just imagine how much you can love the right one.”

A/N: I don’t even know how to start this note lol. It has been too long since I posted chapter 1 and I apologize greatly for not posting this sooner. I had the worst writer’s block! I would like to thank my lovely secret admirer Vernon anon for giving me that little spark of inspiration that I needed. A huge, enormous thank you to my @kaviea ! You are the best! This would be nothing without your help. Thank you! Once again, forgive me for not posting sooner, so here’s basically a double chapter for y’all. I hope you enjoy!


By the time she got up to her apartment the morning light had already crept into her living room. The light shone through her window, making her realize she’d forgotten to pull down her blinds.

She kicked off her boots and hung her coat by the door, making her way into the bathroom. A warm shower was exactly what she needed right now.

Her makeup needed to be washed off first. Applying makeup was something she’d do every weekend, and sometimes she really hated the trouble that went with it. She mostly hated having to look into the mirror in order to remove it and seeing a bleary-eyed reflection of herself. She was tired of washing off the same unyielding eyeshadow and mascara over and over again. Although taking the makeup off was a pain, it wasn’t as hard as applying it, and it was worth it, as the makeup did make her feel prettier. But it was still something that she’d rather not do routinely.

Eventually, she got out of the shower, put on her PJs and walked over to the window to roll down her blinds. Taking a look outside, she saw Vernon. He still sat at the bus stop, wearing his red cap and rubbing his bare hands together frantically.

She opened the window and called out to him, “Hey! What are you still doing there? The bus should’ve come and gone a while ago.”

He looked around, shrugged and was about to reply when she noticed how he was shivering. Decided, she beckoned a couple of times for him to get up and told him to make his way across the road.

“Apartment 3A.”

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Don’t Say a Word (Part Three)

Originally posted by bangtan-so-far

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Pairing: Yoongi/Yoonji (Suga) x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Smut
Contains: crossdressing, alcohol mention
Word Count: 3k

Author’s Note: Why do I always end up writing in the middle of the night and then get excited so I post chapters when no one is awake…


Your ride had arrived and you and Yoongi clumsily get in, giggling about all the little things. You driver was in a good mood and didn’t mind your drunkenness. He actually really appreciated you for being smart and requesting a ride rather than driving while intoxicated. The three of you had a good time, singing along to whatever popular songs that came up onto the radio. From the back, you can see the driver’s bright smile in the rearview mirror. You joked about how he should become a rapper, and he laughed it off and told you he actually danced with a team in his free time. Yoongi, too drunk and too loose, mentioned how he wished he could watch him perform, knowing this would probably be the first and last time you would ever see this man for the rest of your lives.

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Belgian Waffles, Hot: A Gravity Falls One-Shot

hey all you guys gals and nonbinary pals im back at it again with the stangst fics i hope you enjoy this along with all of my other works will be posted on my AO3. please feel free to let me know what you guys think!!!


Summary: Stan, in the midst of his grifter days, runs into some old friends.


“And that’s how you mop the floor. Oh, and, Sal? Make sure you wring the mop out before you put it away.”

I already know how to do this, Stan thought sullenly, remembering the days he and Ford had spent working in their father’s pawn shop as kids. He was somewhere in Kansas, currently living as Salvatore “Sal” Elmwood, an honest man making an honest living. Here at Crazy Bill’s Pancake House somewhere in the middle of Kansas. Where his manager was a gross 17 year old kid named Marty. Who had a face filled with acne and braces.

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Jimin - Dope Series

Originally posted by parxjimin

You were an artist without inspiration. Desperate to find something, you visit your best friend’s office in hopes of sparking something artsy - But you only find Jimin.

Genre: Fluff | Smut
Members: Jimin x Reader (feat. Taehyung)
Word count: 8414


Masterlist

Seokjin | Yoongi | Hoseok | Namjoon | Jimin | Taehyung | Jungkook

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Holiday (definitely not a) Drabble 8.DONE

For the every patient, kind, effervescent, beautiful @sableunstable

Part 1 .+*.+*.+* Part 2 .+*.+*.+* Part 3 .+*.+*.+* Part 4 .+*.+*.+* Part 5

A/N: This took me so long!!! But it’s done!  It’s sloppy, but it’s done!  Definitely thinking of editing the whole thing and posting it elsewhere. 


Sirius’s stomach dropped.  He hadn’t even had time to register the fact that he was feeling better before he was feeling worse again.  Because James was right.  Even if Moony didn’t like the gift, there’s no way he would ever let Sirius know.  So he’d never really be sure the gift was well received and second-guess every single birthday, Christmas and anniversary gift he ever got for Remus.  

“Wanker,” he growled under his breath before setting his sights on something guaranteed to be more pleasant.

Remus had looked up at the noise coming from his boyfriend across the room.  The black haired wizard stalked across the room and stood in front of the other on the floor.  Sirius held forward his hand with the butterbeers and Remus watched his wrist turn, offering one of them up.  Trying to keep control over himself, Remus reached out to grab one of the bottles now dripping condensation.  He didn’t graze his fingers along Sirius’s hand, was careful not to touch him at all.  The werewolf focused on the cool touch of the glass on the palm of his hand while he carefully guided his eyes up Sirius’s arm to his shoulder, up his neck, past his lover’s lips until his blue eyes locked in with grey.

They stayed there frozen, breathing heavily for a few moments before Sirius slowly uncurled his finger from the neck of the bottle letting Remus take it. 

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I Wish I Could Hate You (Pietro x Reader) Part 16/?

Imagine being friends with the twins before they volunteered for the experiments and then being shocked when you join the Avengers and encounter them at the Hydra base in Sokovia.

This is an idea that hit me randomly honestly.  I used an original character instead of reader though.

DISCLAIMER: All translations found via Google Translate; therefore may be inaccurate to a serious degree.  Just a small warning.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15


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4

The post about the guy who never wanted to play front line (aka: tank) at first, reminded me of my first times playing Paladins; get ready for this personal story I’d like to share.

It was somewhere around a couple of years ago; Blizzard had released their first “free weekend” for whoever wanted to try and play Overwatch, and me and a dear friend of mine wanted to seize the opportunity right away. But to no avail.

Our PCs couldn’t download (hers) nor run the game after it had been installed (mine). With a not-so-mild disappointment, we decided to drop our plans to play OW together.

Then my friend remembered that there was a free-to-play game, which seemed to be similar to OW, although in a fantasy-like setting. As cherry on top, that other game was designed to run also on somewhat outdated PCs such as ours. That game was Paladins.

We both proceeded to download and install Paladins, then we went to play matches right after that.

My very first choice had been Skye.

I was a dummy with zero FPS experience (and even less experience into MOBA), so I just chose her because her colour scheme reflected my favourite colours.

It was a disaster, nuff said. I picked a flank and, in that very first match, I used it to “snipe” from behind our lines.

Later I followed the advice of my friend (she had far more experience than me in MOBAs and FPS games) and read something about the different Champions on the Gamepedia.

The description for the tanks scared me, because (simply put) it said that they were the ones mostly in the middle of things, because their role was to lead the front line (duh!)

That had been when I swore to myself to never pick a tank, ever. Being in the middle of a chaotic battlefield sounded like one heck of a stressful situation to me.

Then I eyed Kinessa, a sniper.

Snipers were not expected to be in the middle of things. Snipers were expected to shoot down enemies from far away.

I tried her and for a while I felt very comfortable with her role; I was still too anxious to get any closer to the objective, and at the same time I wanted to help team mates in taking enemies down. I was so at ease that, at some point, I even voiced my will to main her.

But then, I started to notice a trend: victories for us were always greatly outnumbered by the defeats. At first I didn’t pay too much attention to it, because I was there just to have some fun.

Even so, any kind of game starts to be less of a fun, if you keep on losing a match after another.

So I started to pay a better attention at the composition of the teams: 9 out of 10 times, we’d been lacking a tank. Sometimes even a healer was missing, so our team was composed solely by a bunch of DPS and flanks.

In addition, I’m someone who is used to follow the rules in quite a strict manner, gaming rules included. The general “rules” for playing a game on Paladins are simple: cap a point and push a payload till its destination.

My playing as sniper, however, kept me far away from the objective, and little by little that role started to feel wrong to me.

As consequence, some time later and after the nth defeat, I collected my courage, told myself “screw it! I’m doing the thing whether you like it or not”, and, for the next casual siege match, I locked on that only tank who, back then, seemed to have the highest HP and the sturdiest shield.

After that first match, I kept on playing more and more as that same tank (sometimes trying out the -still few- others available back then); surprisingly, being right in the middle of things with over 5k HP and a shield that could absorb up to 8k damage, felt hella cosy.

Besides, from that moment on, the amount of defeats decreased considerably.

Thus I bid goodbye to my “Kinessa main” plans and said hello to the beginning of my main career as a Fernando.

-Confession created and submitted by @sharky857