i just feel like posting them now for some unknown reason

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Hypothetical Handplates scenario in which Sans realizes he can teach himself Common.

(Ugh, tumblr is making them blurry for some reason so I guess full-view if you want the not-blurry version??)

Convoluted explanation incoming. Handplates is an Undertale fancomic by @zarla-s and if you like Papyrus and Sans, go read it, is good stuff. So I guess this is an AU fancomic of an AU fancomic? I dunno, the idea wouldn’t leave my brain until I did something with it. So. Zarla did a Christmas doodle where Gaster gave the boys a box of ginger cookies that had the word COOKIES on the side in big letters, and because my job gives me way too much time to think about random stuff, I realized something.

In Handplates, Gaster taught the bros to read and write Wingdings but deliberately did not teach them monster Common (ie: English) so they can’t read his nametag or anything. Thing is, Wingdings is a 1:1 substitution cipher for English. Every Wingdings symbol exactly equals an English letter; it’s not a different language, just a different set of pictures. As somebody who has taught herself a fair number of substitution ciphers, there are a few things you look for when you’re trying to translate a code and you don’t have a key in front of you. Most notably, single-letter words (in English they will usually be A or I) or double letters next to each other. Like the OO in “COOKIES”.

Sans is smart. Gaster has fed them junk food before and odds are good Sans knows how to spell “COOKIES”. The word is on the box in huge letters and Gaster just said it out loud, so it is fresh in Sans’ mind. That double-O is a huge tip-off. He would put it together that the word on the front of the box matches what’s inside. Once you figure out a few of the letters, it becomes steadily easier to decode the rest.

I feel like Gaster exposes the boys to enough Common (the nametag, food wrappers, computer monitors, the books Sans sits on) that Sans could pick it up with a proper starting point. Papyrus probably not, because he had a hard enough time with Wingdings, but Sans is eager for any opportunity to undermine Gaster and I’m sure he’d jump at the chance. In this comic he elects not to tell Papyrus, though. He doesn’t know Gaster has cameras in the cell (or even what a camera is) but he’s figured out that Gaster can spy on them somehow, and the last time Gaster caught them learning something he didn’t like, Papyrus got the ever-loving hell beat out of him. So Sans keeps quiet about it for now. And thus starts the long-standing tradition of keeping important secrets from his brother.

On the technical side, it took me a freakin’ week to sketch and outline this whole thing. Coloring and shading only took me like a day. In the meantime Zarla actually kinda addressed the cookie comic, but this was almost done by then so oh well. I’m finding my poses and proportions turn out a LOT better when I’m doodling skeletons, like what, drawing basic anatomy will make you better at anatomy, you don’t say?? A lot of this was a self-challenge to see if I could imitate Zarla’s art style, and I referenced previous Handplates comics a lot for the backgrounds and Sans’ face. Full disclosure: Gaster’s pose up there is basically copied from Zarla’s original comic because I was rushing through to get on to the actual meat of the story. He’s just here for setup. I had fun trying to figure out how to do his Lost Soul head though. Also, I hate Papyrus’ face from the front. Also also, it was tricky trying to convey “mentally translating an unknown alphabet into a known one” when pretty much everyone who sees this comic is already familiar with the “unknown” one and not the “known” one, but I think I pulled it off. 

TL;DR- I imitated somebody else’s style to do an AU of an AU; I am not Zarla; Zarla is the creator of Handplates and also Gaster’s pose in the first panel; I like ciphers too much and also I gave the cookies icing because that is the only kind of ginger cookie I know.

Hey Voltron Fandom, what the fuck?

I’m going to get straight to the point, you guys are self-destructive and are going to kill the fandom over your petty arguments and stupid self-entitlement. There hasn’t been a day since the beginning of the fandom that everything has just been peaceful for once (and I’ve been here since it’s birth) You all should be ashamed of yourselves, fighting online and hurting real people over fiction (this is not specifically towards ships btw) And I’m putting my foot down at all of this bullshit and trying to stop it

This is pretty lengthy so everything is under the cut

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I can't help but hate levi///han now that levi is a dick to hange and doesn't deserve her I read this theory that questiong thing from this month means they are not even friends anymore bcoz levi doesn't feel comfortable enough to call hange by the nickame he had for her anymore and that's sad and also makes me angry because hange is always so nice to him and levi is a douche

Eh, that’s not how I see it.

IMO him dropping that nickname means 1) he legitimately respects her new position and wants to place an emphasis on that by example (humanity’s strongest soldier respecting the new commander is a big deal), and 2) he’s actively trying not to be a dick by throwing out a nickname that is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE – not just due to her rank, but, you know, the fact that she’s lost/damaged/ruined one of her eyes, now. 

The situation that ruined her eye was extremely traumatic: it got her work assistant killed–not to mention all of her colleagues: people’s she’s known for years of her career. This includes Erwin, whose shoes she has to fill right away. I doubt she wants the reminder of that terrible day spat out of Levi’s mouth like it’s some kind of a funny joke when there’s very little chance of her being able to see it that way anymore. I know everyone thinks Hange would take it with a grain of salt and all that (cracking jokes galore), but she has feelings and again: the situation was very traumatic. You don’t see Levi cracking jokes about his traumatic experiences, do you?

Fandom conveniently forgets that Hange is a person who experiences human emotion because they’re desperate to keep the ship dynamic for levihan the same forever.

And look, until we got this information, I think interpreting Hange as the sort of person who wanted normalcy there to distract from the depressing and painful reality was believable and realistic.

But with this information it seems that’s not actually the case.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay for your headcanons to be proven wrong on occasion.

And listen to me, here: people change. They grow, and it’s not always apart. Sometimes they grow together, especially after they’ve been through something rough. The fight in Shiganshina was a rough experience. 

Hange has been through a surprising lot, though she’s barely focused on during those chapters. Almost the entire military branch she works in was wiped out. She lost countless acquaintances and friends. Now she has to lead what’s left of it…and without an eye. I wish fandom would stop laughing it off like it’s a cute “fun” injury because it looks “cool.” It was probably highly traumatic and painful for her, not just in the moment, either. The fact that it took so long for her to get treatment might have even been the real reason she lost it. The eye loss is associated with all kinds of trauma, both physical and mental. She’s a soldier, she’s accepted that something like this could happen, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with; it doesn’t make any of her losses less painful.

So let’s talk about the responsibility that’s instantly clamped down on her shoulders after this, because Hange doesn’t even get a second to herself to just, you know, mourn or be sad. She’s the commander now. And while the SC might have sealed the wall(s), it was at a great price (and still under Erwin’s command almost entirely). Hange is going to have to fight for respect from pretty much everyone. Mission accomplished and all, but now that the walls are sealed, humanity is safe again lmao fuck the Survey Corps do we even need that branch anymore? Hange is going to have to present a case to save humanity and exterminate the titans and she’s going to need all the respect she can get to do that. She’s going to need more soldiers because <10 isn’t going to be enough. She’s going to need money and supplies and gear. I hate saying this, but it might not be something she’s capable of presenting on her own merit because she’s largely unknown by the people. (Her newspaper shenanigans help her case but only in that specific area.) However, humanity’s strongest soldier has pretty much all the respect from everyone in this world. If he has her back and is standing proudly at her side, it probably helps her case immensely. (He believes her, he believes in her, this isn’t some kind of a sick joke.)

I want to remind everyone, too, that when the newspapers start telling “the truth” of humanity’s situation, it’s like a 50/50 split? Lots of people think it’s bullshit. That doesn’t help Hange. Like I said: she needs all the respect and the backup she can get. Literally every ounce.


IMO, Levi dropping the nickname “shitty-glasses” was the best thing that could have happened to the ship. I know people think it means they’re not “equals” anymore, but everyone’s focusing on the wrong thing, here.

Up to this point in the manga we’ve seen Levi treat Hange more or less equally, but even in his attempts to comfort her he’s rough. He calls her by a rude nickname that we’re never sure is supposed to be endearing or not. For all we know, he means it in the way a coworker might call the fat guy in the group “porkchop” or other kids might be mean to a classmate by calling them “four-eyes.” Speculation and headcanons aside, canon hasn’t ever really given us a clear idea of what that nickname meant to Levi, let alone to Hange. She lets him call her it, but that doesn’t tell us much. For all we ever knew, she was used to being treated poorly by her peers.

However, with this new information, it sounds much more like the nickname “shitty-glasses” was, coming from Levi, an awkwardly endearing nickname–one he meant no harm with.

And we see that because he drops it. He goes out of his way to consciously stop a habit of his that would seem disrespectful to other people regardless of what it originally meant between them. Levi respects Hange and this is how he shows it. That’s a big deal.

I’d also like to point out, again, that it’s very likely he does this out of more than just respect for his commanding officer. Levi is hardly one to follow conventions, after all.

Hange is his friend. He cares about her safety and we’ve seen this (beneath the chapel). We’ve also seen him clumsily care about the place she’s in mentally (post-Nick’s death). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he cares about her feelings, too. And if this nickname drudges up emotional backlash and trauma for her, then by dropping it he’s showing that he cares about her and respects her as his friend.

Theory: Mystery Man IS Eren

 I know I’m not really the type to post Attack on Titan theories but I just can’t help myself with this one because I am 99.9999999% sure the “mystery man” we see in chapter 93 and 94 has to be EREN. The only reason why I’m not 100% sure is because I’m keeping in mind that there’s a chance Isayama might just pull a “here’s a new important character!” move, which honestly doesn’t make sense in this case for so many reasons… but you never know, right?

So with the latest chapter out, I knew that Isayama was going to bring this guy up again. Of course, I was hoping that the identity of this man would’ve been revealed already but it looks like he’s purposely keeping the identity secret to keep us readers on edge.

Now for those of you who wonder why I am so confident that this is Eren, I can first state the obvious point:

1. Appearance: Considering that there has been a three year time skip, it would be realistic to assume that Eren has grown out his hair even more by now. Aside from that, chapter 90 heavily implied that there was going to be a great change to Eren’s character. His tired eyes and lengthy hair was not only meant to be symbolic of his mental state, but also a new direction to his character.

I know quite a few people have already made these panel comparisons, but it’s important to keep in mind that in this panel above, the mysterious person is spying on Reiner (I will get into more detail about the importance of this later).

Now I know this one seems a bit of a stretch, because I’m going into the nitty gritty details but bear with me for a minute. We know that Isayama gives distinct facial features despite his inconsistencies (although that’s because he has improved on his art), and since we aren’t given much of the mystery man’s face to look at, I figured we can pay attention to his nose. So we know that Eren has grown out his hair since chapter 90, but we can also see here that the man’s nose shape looks very similar to Eren’s (scroll up to compare with the first panel of Eren). It’s not crooked, curved, or super round. It has just that shape that would fit within Eren’s facial profile. Had there been any other character with this hairstyle or someone who could possibly have grown this hairstyle as well, I wouldn’t have pointed this detail out because there are of course other characters with this similar nose shape. The mere fact that Isayama is only giving so little for us to look at makes me think he had to leave out some sort of hint, right? In fact, he could have completely cut out the mystery man’s face so that we only see his hair and then Falco’s face.

Aside from the nose, it’s hard to tell the eye shape but I can say that it appears to be a bigger eye (which Eren has) if you look at the distance from the eyebrow.

Furthermore, if you look closely at the man’s hair scalp area, it is in the same position as Eren’s is. The hair separates in the middle. The fact that this detail is added in this panel above further points out a clue as to who this person could be.

Also, side note but if this does end up being Eren then it seems that the guy has grown a bit of a stub (which honestly makes me so excited for some reason??? lol)

I also need to stress that if this were a “new” or “unknown” character, why would Isayama go through the effort of hiding the man’s face and showing as little as possible? Clearly this is someone we know and considering that he reappears in this chapter means this guy isn’t just some random dude we should feel sorry for, or??

Lastly, I just want to briefly point out that the armband being misplaced implies that this person clearly isn’t familiar with this environment, which is why most of us can at least agree that this is a spy.

2. Eren likes to “act” before he goes in for the kill:

I would like to remind you guys the times Eren has tried to “trick” his enemies by playing innocent before attacking them. Here are some examples:

I think these parallels are important to point out because they show an aspect of Eren’s character, that being that he likes to deceive his enemies (although in a bit of a childish way). For Eren to play as an injured soldier seems very fitting to his character. Of course, I get that he’s a spy and has to “fit in” with the crowd, but he could’ve skipped the effort of cutting his own leg off, right?? Well, I would say that Eren wants to portray himself as weak and vulnerable because that brings less suspicion. I doubt that the Marley soldiers are going to pick on a guy missing a leg, and through this Eren can easily win their sympathy as he did when he tried to rescue Mikasa from the kidnappers. 

3. The mystery man was spying on Reiner:

If you were to ask yourself who Eren would look for if he were to spy on the Marley, wouldn’t the best candidate be Reiner? I mean, if this spy really isn’t Eren, why pay particular attention to Reiner out of all people?? It could have been someone on a much higher position if we’re talking about getting secret information. The fact that this man was watching Reiner heavily implies that he knows who Reiner is, and is using him to find the others. Sure, he could also have gone for Zeke since he has seen the guy before, but I’m sure Eren holds a bigger grudge against Reiner for the moment (he also only saw Zeke for a brief moment so there’s that too). That being said, I have a feeling that this foreshadows a reunion between Reiner and Eren. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eren still wanted to get rid of Reiner first before making any other move. This would make more sense as to why he would choose to spy on Reiner more.

EDIT 4. Eren being the spy fits with the narrative:

@featherpoet made a pretty good point about this so I’m just going to simply quote what they said:

“Since we’ve passed over to the Marley PoV, we’ve seen sooooo many parallels between the characters that grew up there and the ones we knew from Paradis. Gabi -> Eren, Reiner -> Armin, etc. So, it makes narrative sense that the infiltrator would also fit into some sort of mirrored position, since that’s the kind of story that Isayama is telling.

Eren Jaeger is named after Eren Kruger. You know. The spy who informed on the Marley and had a premonition about Mikasa and Armin. It makes soooo much sense that the second Eren would also sneak into the Marley camp. Like, the narrative framing is just too good to pass up. No other character could fit that well.”

EDIT 5. There are parallels seen between Reiner and Eren in the chapter:

@lady-bluebird-luv makes a case pointing out the similarities the two characters have, and I think this only strengthens my prediction that we’re going to see Eren take the role that Reiner had when he was infiltrating Paradis Island. To quote: 

“Both of them have come face-to-face with what they consider to be monsters. We also learn in this chapter that Reiner’s father is Marleyian, and his mother is Eldian. Eren’s parents are both Eldians, but his mother is a Walldian while his father is from outside of the walls. In fact, both Eren and Reiner have fathers from the other side of the walls. for Reiner, it’s the wall between the true Marleyians and the Eldians. For Eren, it’s the wall between Paradise and the rest of the world. In a sense, they’re both hybrids.”

With the previous chapter where we had the mystery guy watching Reiner, I think this parallel we’re seeing only further strengthens my theory that that person is definitely Eren. It’s almost symbolic when you think about it because if this person is Eren, then there might be an implication that Eren might want to take away everything Reiner cherishes (hence making that panel feel more eerie because the danger is literally behind his back). Think about it, we see Reiner in that moment trying to guide the kids away from a place that he considers to be too dangerous, and coincidentally but not coincidentally we see that mystery guy in that direction. Now do I think Eren would do something that cruel? Well, considering the parallels we’re seeing now, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Eren doing it for sake of making Reiner feel the same pain as he did when he lost his mother. 

Now I’ve noticed there are certain claims that have made people skeptical about this person being Eren, and there are a few I would like to argue against:

1. It’s too obvious!!

Okay, first of all, this isn’t the first time Isayama has been “obvious” in regards to the mysteries of AoT. Remember the Female Titan? It was pretty obvious that while all the characters were trying to figure out the identity, most of us knew it was Annie with all the screaming hints we were given. It’s true that sometimes Isayama likes to give as few hints as possible so that the reader doesn’t figure out too much but I think in this case Isayama wants to warn the reader that this person is someone we should watch closely rather than wonder who the hell this person could possibly be.

2. Why would the Survey Corps take such a risk with Eren??

My guess is that either this is actually part of the Survey Corps plan OR Eren decided to run off on his own due to disagreements. Besides, the Survey Corps HAS made risky decisions before. They always have, and it’s not sure whether Eren is the only spy right now. However, I’m gonna go with the latter because it really does make sense that Eren would go on an independent mission. Let’s refer to chapter 45, shall we?

Remember these pages? It’s pretty telling that this is a foreshadowing of what’s to come for Eren. So to say that Eren would be rash enough to charge against an entire country on his own isn’t too crazy to believe. This is exactly what the reader should expect Eren to do. It was him after all who brought up the idea of killing the enemies on the other side. When Eren has a new goal, he’ll charge after it even if everyone else disagrees with him. 

3. Eren wouldn’t be stupid enough to wear the armband on the wrong side!

Ummmm… yes he would actually?? A hot-headed, emotional, acts-first-thinks-later-type-of-guy would do just that??? Sounds like the Eren I know, at least. This isn’t Armin we’re talking about here, you know?? I highly doubt Eren would pay attention to such a small detail. This is the guy who denied all the evidence that Annie was the Female Titan, despite how obvious it was (although be it that his emotions clouded his judgement). He’s never been the guy to come up with a brilliant plan, and I think we can all agree on that. Consider the fact that this guy likes to “look at the bigger picture”, I don’t think you should be surprised that he made such a simple mistake. 

4. The mystery man has limbs cut off! Shouldn’t they have regenerated??

I know others have already explained this one, but I’d like to point out anyway that Reiner managed to control his bitten arm from healing. In this case, it’s very possible that Eren is doing the same and must’ve trained himself to hold back from healing. No need for further explanation.

5. It could be Jean since he has disguised himself as Eren before!

Okay, this one really doesn’t make any sense, considering that if this is true then the Survery Corps are allowing a man with a missing leg to for some reason disguise as Eren with longer hair which NO ONE from the Marley side (Reiner and Zeke) remember him having??? I mean, I highly doubt Jean became a Titan shifter unless he ate Annie which just makes my brain hurt because this theory just doesn’t add up whatsoever lol. Sorry, but I just don’t see a severely injured Jean to follow a plan like this. 

6. Reiner and Zeke would recognise Eren if they saw him!

Actually, no I don’t think they would. Not at first glance, at least. With longer hair, a stub, and a missing leg, one could easily overlook Eren as just another injured soldier. Keep in mind that having longer hair makes it easier to hide his face from others. Eren’s change in his appearance makes all the more sense for him to go undercover. 

7. How are the Survey Corps going to defend themselves if Eren is gone?

I think after the multiple ships sent to Paradis Island that ended up disappearing, I don’t think the Marley are stupid enough to continue sending more. After all, Zeke did mention that they needed a “proper” plan to retrieve the Titan powers. Also, they still have Armin, and maybe even Annie I mean ffs she better not still be in that crystal after all this time lol. I’m sure they are not completely helpless without Eren’s power. 

8. How would Eren not be spotted when coming over to the Marley side?

Well, considering that we know this mysterious guy is all injured, it’s very possible that Eren used this injury to disguise himself as a soldier who was part of the 4 year war. Did he use a small boat to come over? Or did he hijack one of the ships that tried to invade Paradis Island? If he did the latter, then it would have been reported being seen arrive back. My guess is he used one of the Marley soldiers to help him navigate through Marley territory without being spotted. It’s very possible that he still used one of the ships that invaded Paradis Island but found a way to sink it before being seen (he is a Titan shifter so I’ll leave the rest to your imagination). Hell, maybe he even managed to find himself in the middle of a battle before the war ended and that’s how he came up with the idea of injuring himself so it could look like he was on the battlefield. 

So those are my opinions on the Mystery Man as of now. I’m sure I’ve probably forgotten to add some other important points so I’ll be sure to do so if I feel the need to. Feel free to agree or disagree. I’d love to hear what other thoughts people have but for now I am definitely leaning towards this guy being Eren. All the clues seem to point to him.

Ecstatic Witchcraft

This is a post a long time in the making, as it is something I’ve wanted to share for a while now, just because it is such an important part of my own craft. There is something truly magical about it and is, for me, something both very humbling and very empowering; as such, it is something that I think is worth sharing.

Foremost, the question to address is: What is ecstatic witchcraft? And one not so easily answered, as there cannot be any one way in which it is performed. It can (I think) be described as a form of trance magic, though its expression is not wholly tied to trance in the traditional sense. In essence, it is a surrendering of self and its simultaneous expression. It is a temporary shedding of the façade one erects to survive, Freud called it the superego and without it, so too falls away the ego. The goal of ecstatic witchcraft – if it can be called a goal – is to allow the id to manifest unencumbered, a means of channeling the primality. Of course, this manifests in innumerable ways and no two sessions would ever be the same, hence why it can be so tricky to pin down precisely.

I’ve found that – and it continues still – that the witchcraft community (predominately) has long perpetuated the notion of control as being paramount to success, and while this may be true to some extent, I believe the converse must also be explored. There is law and there is rigidity, there is correspondence memorization and a lot of book work: and this makes sense! For the last century (and in times before), this has been the main means of information acquisition. While it is not uncommon for witches to join groups, covens, etc., I’m willing to bet that most practicing witches were indoctrinated through solitary study. Again, there is nothing wrong with this, and I, myself, am contributing to this reservoir of written information as I type! But, as I mentioned, while I did my fair share of book work and memorization, the heart of my Craft has always been exploration. Tradition is important, but it’s never been enough for me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: the best way to learn is to do. There will be mistakes; you will come to conclusions only to find things that defy them; you will learn to correct; you will learn to be skeptical, but not judgmental. You will learn there are a thousand purported ‘right’ ways, and then you will find your own. Nothing is static.

How does this relate then, to ecstatic witchcraft? It is a means by which to connect to that instinct: that intuition that drives us – shedding preconceived notions and allowing the opportunity for exploration through action. And action, I feel, is the root of ecstatic magic.

How To Perform Ecstatic Witchcraft

As I mentioned previously, there is no right way and I can only provide to you a number of facets of expression that are conducive to ecstatic witchcraft. These are by no means the only facets, and as always, I encourage you to explore what works for you.

  • Speak – It may seem counterintuitive to what I have said, for is speech not a construct? It is, but there is power in vocalization, even if speaking unintelligibly. This is an extension of opaque language – or language spoken ceremonially as a means of excluding those who are not privy to the religious tongue – and moves into the realm of glossolalia. Rarely do I include verbal scripts to be read in the things I post, as I find that they detract from the working themselves, instead encouraging those performing to speak what comes. This is a more controlled form of ecstatic witchcraft – bound by intention, time, and often language itself. Here, let all that fall away and simply: Speak.
  • Move – Ecstatic witchcraft, for me, is all about energy: movement, especially. It is best not to go into it with any plan, simply follow where your body takes you. If it says run, run; if it says dance, dance; if it says squat and howl like a wolf, by gods do it! It is for this and many reasons that ecstatic magic should be done in a controlled setting, normally somewhere safe – but I should mention, this need not be done alone! Ecstatic witchcraft can just as easily be done in groups, though it can get a little more dangerous, considering the id is often noted as being the seat of sexuality and aggression. I also recommend putting sharp objects away – you never know what the hype might bring – but hey, sometimes you just really need to throw a knife; perform responsibly.
  • Draw/Write – Admittedly, some of my coolest and most profound sigils have come from ecstatic sessions! There is something in me that always wants to take chalk and just go to town on every surface around – overtaken by mania. Automatic writing is related, in some ways, though often it is used with intent: channeling a specific spirit, deity, etc. Ecstatic magic requires no such formalities, bending to the whims of all and none, the witch is then but an instrument of the spirit: of the cosmos.
  • Laugh – Laughter is powerful.
  • Instruments – If you have at your disposal some musical instruments (I prefer maracas and tambourines), bring them in! And forget what you think you know about music, just roll with it. Hell, if you want to continuously shake a maraca and scream with one foot in the air, do it. Again, it’s all about energy, and instruments bring their own, unique vibes to the table.

Entheogens – *at your own risk; use responsibly* Sure, they might compromise some of the safety, but they also bring an entirely new level of exploration. For some. My use of entheogens in the past have always been hit-or-miss; sometimes they are conducive and other times they are hampering. Know what works for you, and be careful: you don’t want to show up at the nearest E.R. naked, tripping on an unknown substance with a painted face and defiantly shaking a maraca.

Sex – This harkens back to what I said about working in groups, sometimes there is a power in it, and the same can be said for adding sex in. When working with others, always plan for the possibility of sex! Especially with who you invite in, and in regards to safety. I don’t know the last time it was used, but the “It was for ecstatic witchcraft” excuse will not hold up: while it may sound like a damper, J.I.C. consent agreements and activity do’s and don’t’s should always be agreed upon beforehand, and should always be open to amendment. If you really want to, draw a circle: anyone who leaves it is has removed themselves from the session and should not be addressed until they reenter of their own accord.


With that, I hope it is becoming clear what ecstatic witchcraft is (or can be), its benefits and how it isn’t really all that new a concept. It is, for me, a profound experience every time – I come out feeling energized, powerful, but also with a new frame of mind, having shed societal constriction and attuned with both the divine and animalistic parts of myself – if even for a moment. In that it is humbling, and it is empowering.


Photo: Maenads, John Collier 

HOW ABOUT A FULL TWINCER THEORY (7X11 to 7X19)

This took a long long time, man.

We’ve all seen the Twincer theories circling around the site and I wanted to ensure that a full thought-out one was on here for when we look back on these amazing theories.

Firstly, I would like to point out that even though PLL does tend to drop storylines every now and then, they never leave them too open-ended without subtle hints as to what the reveal could be like. For example, the NAT Club plot from Season 1. That was left unanswered but the actual story surrounding it was thought-through and explained with detail. Remember this as we go along with this theory.

Let’s start off by talking about the Hastings/Dilaurentis storyline. We now know that Jessica and Peter had Melissa. We also know Peter and Jessica had Toby. We also know that Peter and Mary had Spencer and Charlotte. (I think it’s crazy that Cece and Spencer were sisters this whole time, but I’ll go with it). We know that Dr. Cochran said he dealt with two of Mary’s babies. One, of course, was Charlotte, and the other was unknown. The doctor said the second child was quite tenacious. (Flash forward a season later and Toby calls spencer that same word). Ignoring all of the specifics, who’s to say Mary didn’t have a second baby after that.. or even.. AT THE SAME TIME. One baby was given to the Hastings, and the other was sent to a psych ward.

Forward to 7X15, and we see Spencer’s twin for the first time (for all we know) at the airport with Wren. 

The reason I’m assuming this is Spencer’s twin is because this scene was shown from EZRA’s point of view, instead of from Spencer as all of her scenes usually do. This is quite unusual, and since this episode was directed by Troian herself, I 100% believe this means something. Also, two seconds ago, Spencer was wearing a totally different outfit while she was getting ROASTED by Detective Fury. Why would spencer show up suddenly to meet up with WREN, a person who we haven’t seen for three seasons, right after being interrogated and caught out by her ex-boyfriend? It’s super fishy. Also, Spencer seemed as if she was fighting with Wren for some reason.. She even asked Ezra not to mention it to anyone, which is also strange. Coming back to what I stated in the beginning of this post, this scene was NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN. Throughout all of this show’s crazy seasons, little breadcrumbs like this never get dropped and not picked-up again. Just sayin’

Here’s what Spencer’s outfit looked like during that Marco scene.

After that, Spencer is seen at the Barn coming outta the shower. This makes sense seeming as though she wants to clear her head and she’s probably exhausted.

Now, we’re back to normal Spencer.

We DO know however that Wren is for sure going to re-appear in the finale. Hmmmm… 

We also see (from the promo) a bald-headed man holding a gun during the finale…

So are we really gonna ignore the fact that Wren only showed up in 7X15 with “Spencer” and is gonna re-appear only in the finale while holding a gun? Does that not sound at the least suspicious?????

Flash forward to 7X17 and Spence’ is saying goodbye to Mary Drake. After she leaves she hears a strange noise, and turns around quite frantically. This scene practically ends the episode, and guess what? It hasn’t been brought up since!! Again, PLL never does this unless it means something specific.

We know Spencer is a genius. For her to feel something fishy going on MEANS that something fishy is for sure going on. After all, things are pretty crazy in Rosewood.

Flash forward AGAIN to 7X18, Spencer sees Toby for the first time since Yvonne died. Now, before I go on with this point, you should all know that Spencer is NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON TO HAVE SEX WITH HER EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT AFTER HIS WIFE HAS JUST DIED. Anyways. You can see that Spencer is talking to Toby quite calmly and sympathetically. Of course, it’s typical Spencer to be showing love and compassion to a person who’s in need of it. 

Forward to later on in the episode and “Spencer” shows up to Toby’s apartment wearing all-black (like Mary Drake’s style of clothing) and immediately starts to have sex with him. This is fucking crazy! Firstly, Toby literally says a quote along the lines of “That’s not the Spencer I know.” to her. After that, she starts to chug down a bottle of beer which - by the way - she never does.

After that, they proceed to have sex. Keep in mind that “Spencer” is the one who’s pushing the sexual agenda forward, not Toby.

I’ve seen some people saying that the bullet-wound ruins this theory but I actually think it strengthens it. A bullet wound from a month back should NOT be that red. Also, I think that “Spencer” inflicted a fake wound on herself. That explains why she immediately averted Toby’s hand from it in a really sexual - and really gross - manner. Nevertheless, I will for sure give props to Troian for her amazing performance here.

We should also remember that Keegan stated in an interview that there definitely is not gonna be ANY Spoby kisses for the rest of the series.

Now, don’t ask me why, but I just really think he was telling the truth on this one. To be fair, Spencer is really hurting cause of the Marco situation. It makes no sense - and is completely out of character - for her to jump back to Toby Like this.

To make matters even more obvious, Spencer comes home TO THE BARN she left from in a completely different outfit ONCE AGAIN.

To finish things off, let’s all remember the real reason why this new A.D. has re-appeared is to avenge Charlotte’s death. Now. Who better to get revenge for Charlotte’s murder other than her very own sister.. Spencer’s twin…. The real A.D.

Let’s not forget the first thing Mary ever said to Spencer..


“You look just like your sister.”

Thanks for reading!! - Nasser
Monday Fic Rec

Some new fics to get you through this week:

Little White Lies by xxSterre:

Summary: “I lied when I got my job.

I told them I had a kid so I could leave early ‘to pick him up from day care’, to take him to doctors appointments and occasionally miss a day 'when he’s sick’. Long story short – I’m in too deep. I didn’t think this through.

Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy aged 4 to 6 with curly hair who plays soccer, essentially he has to look like the stock photo in the frame on my desk. Also must be artistic as the macaroni noodle drawings I made seem a little advanced for someone his age. He also needs to respond to 'my Little Picasso’ as that’s what my spouse and I call him. Also I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of my spouse when dropping him off. His name is James, he’s named after his grandpa and he’s a defense attorney who often brings his work home.

You know what, just message me for the details, serious inquiries only. H.“

Or, the AU based off of that one Craigslist post - how a little white lie takes on an enormous snowball effect, that might accidentally include a Tomlinson too.

"said I’ll love you till the day that I die.” by phanxlarryFandoms:

Summary: The tiny boy can’t eat or drink or remember almost anything anymore, spending every hour possible clutching Harry likes he’s scared of what will happen when he lets go.

Harry spends every second with his eyes glued to the pretty boy, making note of every detail possible and biting back whimpers when he notices how sickly the boy’s eyes are.

He just looks so ill, so worn, so in need of rest despite the fact that he sleeps a good twenty-hours per day. The worst part of it all is that Louis is still beautiful to Harry, so aesthetically enticing and physically magnetic that Harry will never be able to stop staring.

But, neither of them truly want Harry to remember Louis like this.

“Tomorrow…” Louis whispers, expression blank and head resting on Harry’s chest, ear pressed against his heart to listen to the rhythmic, calming beat. “You…twenty four, right?”

Harry smiled softly, brushing Louis’ mess of wavy hair out of his eyes, bringing with it the strands sticking to his cheeks.

Penny For Your Thoughts by rainbowsandlove (Larry_trueluv):

Summary: And realisation dawned on both of them. Every time he had talked, Louis hadn’t really seen his lips move. At all. He whipped his head towards Liam then. He could hear his voice in his head but Liam’s lips weren’t moving. Which meant… 

“Holy shit I can read minds!” he exclaimed, right into Liam’s ear, making him wince and shuffle back. 

Or Louis wishes he could read minds, and to everyone’s surprise he gets it granted.

One To Make Your Heart Remember Me by larrysrainbow:

Summary: Louis was a famous child star who is trying to make his way back the pop chart ladder and Harry is helping him.

If we meet sometime in the after years, my darling, I trust I will find your love still mine. by lucidlou:

Summary: 1970s AU.The boy at the dinner table isn’t as much of a stranger as Louis thought, and somewhere between the diners, concerts, and the way the moonlight falls just right, the summer is enough time for realizing.

(I Know We’re Lost but) Soon We’ll Be Found by hopeneverdies:

Summary: “Fuck, Haz, pick up!” He literally shouted into his phone. The trembling in his voice matching the shaking of his hands. After the fourth ring he was sent to voice mail. He wasn’t sure if Harry was already on his flight or if he was just ignoring Louis’ call but all he knew was that their little girl needed her fathers and nothing else mattered at that moment.

“Harry, this is an emergency! Please call me back! There’s been an accident and Junie is hurt. She’s at St. Andrew’s. I’m on my way there right now. Christ, I really wish I knew what time your flight was supposed to leave!”

By the time he finished the message he could feel the pressure of salty tears building behind his eyes. A few minutes later he pulled into the hospital car park and rushed through the emergency room doors.

Or the canon compliant future fic where Harry and Louis are experiencing some marital complications that leaves them both angry with one another and worried about their future. When their young daughter suffers a potentially serious injury that keeps Harry from flying to California for his job, it serves as a reminder of how much they still need and love each other.

I Follow Rivers by harrys:

Summary: It’s 8:25 when he rushes in, with his strong legs clad in striped trousers, a sleeveless turtleneck, and platform oxfords.

He’s waiting for his coffee two metres away from Harry and scrolling through his phone quickly, with his eyebrows slightly furrowed. Harry decides to take a chance and clears his throat.

[Alternatively: Louis writes for a fashion magazine, Harry writes for a music magazine and dabbles in poetry. They like the same coffee shop, as well as each other.]

Mission Fucking Impossible by Swimnerd7:

Summary: “Are you and Louis fucking?”

Harry nearly spits out his drink, choking as he tries to communicate a “what the ever living fuck” to Niall with his eyes.

Niall takes another casual sip of his beer “Not like I’m the only one thinking it mate, I’m just the only one saying it out loud.”-

Harry is in love with Louis, and he is almost positive Louis is in love with him too. Naturally, Harry deals with this by trying to get Louis horny and hope for the best.

Things don’t exactly work out how he plans.

if it kills me by you_explode:

Summary: Harry and Louis have worked together in a difficult office environment for six years. They’re best friends; Louis is the bright spot of all of Harry’s days. But Louis is in love with Harry, and Harry’s engaged to someone else. And that’s only the beginning.

The Office AU. More or less follows the first five seasons. A lot of pining and misunderstanding the depth of feelings and rejection and angst, until there isn’t.

For Reasons Unknown by FallingLikeThis, Rearviewdreamer:

Summary: Six years after dying, Louis is suddenly thrust back into the life he’d lost. Support Group is supposed to help him adjust to everything that’s changed but he finds the experience sadly lacking. Well, except there is one curly-haired lad that’s there too. He kind of makes it worth going.

Good Enough to Eat by objectlesson:

Summary: “Fuck,” Harry mumbles, shuffling. “You won’t give me shit for it? It’s sorta weird.”

“No,” Louis breathes. “Promise.”

“Okay. I just…fuck, I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Harry whimpers, and he must be blushing because Louis can feel waves of heat coming off him, his embarrassment a hot, palpable thing. “So, like…I love rimming videos. Nothing makes me come harder,” he admits, covering his face with his hands so his voice comes out muffled and strangled.

It takes Louis a few seconds to process, to mentally rifle through his Pornhub search history and remember what rimming even is; Harry has him so stupid he can’t keep stuff straight. His ears ring, and then it hits him, and, oh, fuck. His stomach turns and tightens so quickly he’s gasping, an audible and shameful scrape of air in the dark. “You…really?” he chokes out.

Or, Harry is convinced he’s never gonna be able to try his favorite porn fantasy on a real boy, and Louis offers to remedy this.

Seventeen, Chill Songs, and Headcanons

Concept: 

1. Pick a boy
2. Read the headcanon
3. Close your eyes and press play
4. Live the headcanon

A/N: this is a new concept, so let me know what you think, okay?


S.Coups: Me And Your Mama by Childish Gambino

Imagine sitting around the kitchen table, a big window on the wall, but it’s too late at night to see outside. It’s the first few chilly days of fall, meaning you haven’t quite convinced yourself to turn on the heat for the year. Instead, you and S.Coups sit next to each other at the table, sharing a blanket while you both lazily munch on popcorn. Nothing seems relevant, but this song playing quietly around you and how your body curves into Seungcheol’s.

Jeonghan: 졸려 Sleepy by Sodam

Despite all the curtains open painting the bedroom in a white film, despite how many times you had previously tried to wake Jeonghan up, he refuses. You would pull the covers away, only to see that that didn’t bother him. You would try everything, but somehow he would always find a way to grab your hand and pull you back into bed, wrapping his body around yours tightly. The alarm would still be going off, as it had been for ten minutes. When he pulled you into bed for the final time you would settle after hearing the radio from the alarm play this song. The world had a funny sense of humor sometimes.

Joshua: Nano (TK Kaleidoscope Remix) by Spangle call Lilli line

Maybe you knew the words to this song, maybe you didn’t; within the moment though, but when you listened to it with Joshua you felt as though these lyrics, this beat, the tone of voice was made specifically for this moment. You had been trapped with Joshua in this recording room for a few hours, however you weren’t really trapped, either of you could have left at any time. It just didn’t feel right to. When this song played, when you rested your head in his lap and laid out your body on the cold hardwood floor, his fingers laced in your hair, you understood why you were trapped. It felt as though the universe had kept you two together to live out this moment, a moment where everything was truly perfect.

Jun: Night Time by The fin.

Just like the lyrics stated, it was the middle of the night. When you would look back at this day in the future you wouldn’t be able to say why you were out in the first place. You had taken a break from your late night drive in the middle of nowhere, stopping at a gas station. This song would play over the system and for some unknown reason, the moment it started Jun would look at you with such passion in his eyes, such youthful excitement. He would grab your hand and dance with you in a gas station in the middle of nowhere, a smile on his face that matched yours the whole time.

Hoshi: April by In Love With A Ghost

You hadn’t remembered putting this song on your phone, and maybe you didn’t, maybe one day the sky looked down at you and Hoshi, smiled, and gifted it to you. You were walking down the sidewalk of some suburban neighborhood, a car whizzing by you every few moments. One earbud in your ear, the other one in Hoshi’s. This song would play and even though you had never heard it before it just felt… special. Your arms would brush against each other, the bare skin mingling. You felt as though whatever higher power there was above, it had handcrafted you this moment.

Wonwoo: Oh My God by Rheehab

Hearing this song wouldn’t be a one time deal, in fact it was Wonwoo’s favorite. It had the perfect mix between hip hop and a chill vibe. Every spare moment you two would spend together, every lazy day, every few minutes you could scavenge together would be spent holding hands, resting on each other’s shoulders, lazily sleeping with this song on repeat in the background. Every time you would hear this song you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

Woozi: F*ck Me and Feed Me by Rendezvous At Two

You two would both be laying in bed, the day just falling into the cusp of evening. You would have your head resting on his shoulder, one of his hands would be lazily gliding over your arm while the other would be scrolling through music on Youtube. It moment seemed perfect the minute he opened up this song, despite the words to them the soft beat and the melodic voice would pull the both of you in. He would rest his head next to yours, and for the next four minutes it would feel like you were the only two people in the world.

Mingyu: So Faded 텅 빈 by BEVY MACO

The soft lapping of the warm water in the tub would be the only sound besides the beat that this song was creating. You would be resting against Mingyu’s chest in the bath, only this moment wouldn’t feel like a moment of sexual tension, but rather a moment of comfort and sweet intimacy. You felt completely at home in this small bathtub next to the love of your life as a beautiful, beautiful song played ever so innocently in the background.

DK: Peach Pit by Peach Pit

Imagine driving down an empty road much faster than you should with the car radio and it’s shitty sound system pumping out this song. It’s way too hot out, the windows rolled way down, DK’s sweaty hand clasping around yours with his other hands on the wheel. You two would share a peach lemonade, with only one straw because DK forgot he was supposed to be cute and get another. You would just close your eyes, feeling the wind in your hair and your hand in DK’s. What bliss.

The8: Sad and Boujee (Remix) by elijah who

Even though the lyrics to this song aren’t exactly the nicest, the moment he decided to play it in the dance studio you felt as though you had never heard a song as sweet. You two had been in the dance studio for hours, you happily watching and talking to Minghao as he danced every now and then. He would just look at you with a big smile as this song created the most wonderful vibe in the room, even if you hadn’t wanted to dance before you would want to now.

Seungkwan: I Kissed a Girl She Kissed Me by Kid Bloom

You would be waiting for your flight to arrive and take you back home in the airport, clicking on whatever song caught your eye as you passed the time. Seungkwan’s head would be resting in your lap as he tried to pass the time by sleeping. At one point, he would take the phone from your hands and pick out this song to show you. His eyes would stay locked yours trying to gage your response to it. Seungkwan had the kindest gaze and when the song mixed with it, you could feel nothing but warmth inside.

Vernon: Is feat. POP ETC by Kanno Yoko

It had been a day at the beach, the gritty sand had stuck itself under your feet, only you didn’t seem to mind. Vernon had hooked his phone up to the speaker so the only thing you could hear besides whatever song played was the crashing of the waves on the beach. You were sharing an ice cream with this song began, the day finally coming to the end. You would watch the sun set over the beach and hear this song play in the background as Vernon playfully fed you ice cream.

Dino: Chippoke na Ai no Uta (Music Box Version) by Sakurako Ohara

You two had just returned home from a day of sledding in the first snow of the year. Both of your cheeks were stained a deep rosy red as Chan tried to warm your hands in his, every once and awhile blowing hot air into his hands that cupped around yours. This song would play from the other room, probably from one of your roommates choosing to listen to it. The sweet melody of the song would warm you up as you two could do nothing but smile at one another.

-peach 

Ten Years (Part 10)

Summary: AU. When a major account is on the line at work, reader is forced to revisit some old connections at her ten year high school reunion for a chance at success. Will she let the past consume her, or will she see the future in her grasp?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,786

Warnings: language, fluff, confrontation

A/N: Tags are closed. This part was over 4K words long, so I split it into two. I’m sorry. Reader takes some steps to make everything right again, but Bucky Barnes is nowhere to be found.

Part: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13

Originally posted by jennymagicalheart

Keep reading

Break-up Novella.

PART FOUR: IT’S JUST GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE |

I’m not 100% on this specific part of the Break-Up Novella bit I felt like I needed a filler part in between Parts 3 and 5. I promise you, Part 5 will be filled and it’ll be better and we’ll see their relationship really get better. There may or may not be a cheeky smut scene at the end, as well as the cutest scene I think I’ve ever written in my life. 

I’m really iffy on this part, so, I apologise in the horrendous flow. I really tried to work through it, I can promise you, haha. Chances are, I will come back to this a really re-do it to fit the novella properly. I lost all inspiration for this section and I’m so unsure as to why. I think I’ve just been SO excited to write the final part because I hate it when the missus and Harry fight because I just love them and I’m rooting for them SO hard… :(((

Enjoy! xx

Keep reading

Kaneki Ken, a butterfly story and the latest wheel of fortune

When I first starting reading Tokyo Ghoul (almost 6 years ago lol), there were 2 characters I thoughts were associated with “Butterflies” : Touka and Hinami.

Why Touka: the 1st butterfly in the series is seen with Touka. Later in TG:re calendar, she is depicted as a moth.

Why Hinami: Hina’s introduction as a Chimera with kagunes shaped like butterfly wings. Plus, the child became a strong link between Ken and Touka, with them almost co-parenting the girl. She also helped in proving to Kaneki that not all ghouls are monsters but can be victims too. The young girl also showed to Touka that hatred and revenge weren’t the only answers to loss.

Originally posted by mysterythetherian


However, later arcs in TG:re forced me to give up on that theory and see the larger picture. Before turning into a centipede, Kaneki was on a journey to become a butterfly.

Hence why I never could finish the insects/arachnids/arthropods theory HERE regarding TG 2015 calendar (sorry).

Kaneki Ken, first steps in to a new world

The panel mentioned above, when taking into context, is in direct parallel to what was going on inside Anteiku in TG #09.

In this chapter, after Touka rescued Hide and Kaneki (yet again), Yoshimura is talking to the half-ghoul about him belonging to two worlds instead of none. The old man also spoke about his hope that, by staying at Anteiku and living this dual life, Ken would see for himself whether ghouls are nothing more the monsters they are depicted as. Queue to Mr.Butterfly slowly approaching a beaten up Touka before resting on her finger.

Interestingly, Chapter 9 is titled “Hatching” (coming out of one’s egg), possibly in reference to Kaneki facing the reality of being a ghoul, in addition to his journey as the “Goat’s Egg”. People don’t decide to be conceived/to be born: someone birth them while they’re passive in this situation, with only variables like hormones making it happen.

Some Butterfly Symbolic around the world and through time

Positive: young women’s availability for marriage; “you’ll receive money”; “a loved one will visit you soon”; love; conjugal bliss and joy, peace, harmony, life

Neutral: soul, mind, fire, reincarnation of dead soldiers, rebirth, transformation, change, transitory nature of happiness, circle of life.

Negative: soul of dead children, bad omen, death, spirit of the dead, sickness, warfare.

If Kaneki is symbolised as a Butterfly, then the panel in TG #09 is literally Ken tentatively approaching the ghoul world and getting to know his ghoul self.

After the chrysalid phase, the newly born butterfly enters a new world (it can fly now). From then on, a butterfly needs to find sustenance and a mate to pass on the genes like most animals (I say most because some animals such as jellyfishes, female Aphids and female Komodo Dragons, to name a few, can CLONE themselves when no mate is available).

By working at Anteiku, interacting with ghouls and even doves, Kaneki started to make his own opinion of this new world. It’s a grey environment rather than the dichotomic world of good (humans) versus evil (ghoul) he first thought of. The reality even made Kaneki break down yet again, after the murder of Mrs. Fueguchi.

Kaneki was slowly finding his bearing even if he still considered himself a monster and was slowly cutting himself from Hide (le sigh…).

Then, Yamori arrived and the butterfly had its wings clipped off repeatedly, chained to the floor, until pain and anger turned it into a centipede.

For some time, this new creature dwelled into the darkest part of the ghoul world. Chinese red-head centipedes lived in dark damp places and feed on whatever it can grab. Ironically enough, they are not really aggressive to other centipedes.

This period of Shironeki loneliness was the time when Ken was lost and didn’t even realise/accept that he was searching for home.

Kaneki chose to surround himself with people who wouldn’t go against his quest, however they would feel about it. Consciously or not, Ken also chose not to bring anyone linking him to the human world. Banjou & Co were from Aogiri, Hinami didn’t know about Hide and was an orphaned ghoul without much knowledge of the human world, Tsukiyama was ghoul who embraced their own predatory nature and appetite as an art with no concern for humans. There is no way Kaneki would have brought Nishiki (because Nishio knew Hide and was now part of Anteiku with a human lover) or Touka (who knew of Ken’s link to Hide and, as confirmed recently by Kaneki, because he wanted to protect her and her peaceful life).

We all know how well this ended for everyone…

In TG:re, Kaneki Ken was announced to come back as a butterfly. Ken, with his restored memories and his status as a lone / lost centipede still lingering.

In :RE #63, Shinigami!Ken is showed next Eto at the press conference where the writer trolled everyone by coming out as a ghoul. Right before that: a butterfly slightly similar to the one back in TG #09, is seen flying above/next to Touka.


Further in the story, on death’s door, Arima envisioned his younger self freeing a butterfly from his grasp. Most of the fandom agrees to see the butterfly as Kaneki Ken (or Sasaki Haise). To me, it also meant that Arima freed the creature that he had kept captive and/or protected : Kishou was the one who subdued Kaneki Ken back in V14; he helped in creating Sasaki Haise and the dreamworld (golden cage) the younger man lived into for a few years. Arima helped in rebooting the story of Butterfly!Ken by giving him a way to escape his physical prison (leaving Cochlea with the help of Squad Zero) and a goal to tempered Ken’s own wish to die (temporary Band-Aid known as “my final wish” trope aka Ken became the OEK to fulfill his Father and Mother’s last request).

RANDOM FACT: Interestingly, in Gnostic art, the angel of death is depicted crushing a butterfly underfoot, either because the butterfly symbolises Life or the Corrupted Flesh. Maybe Ishida used this as a reference when Arima, god of death, freeing Butterflyneki ?

Now that Kaneki had his wings back, the journey has :restarted.

A butterfly is flying around to search for subsistence and for a mate to keep the genes going. It’s searching for a flower.

Guess who has been depicted with flowers?….Yep, Kirishima Touka.

Apart from the numerous illustrations Ishida has bestowed to the fandom, one of the “in your face” panels appeared in TG:re 16 when Saiko and Shirazu saw Touka with a bouquet in her hands, strolling the hospital. The reason of her being at the hospital is still unknown, I hope Ishida will get back to that later.

(Yes, that’s Touka’s bra 😉 )

RANDOM FACT 2: Butterflies have six lets and they each have sensors on them that can tell just by landing on a flower what it tastes like. So now you know why my boi Kaneki was groping them titties like no tomorrow !  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

A panel of Ishida “Did I stutter?!” Sui would be the colour page from TG:re 122.

Everything is there: Touka, death flag, flowers, le innuendo “Bloom me a flower of my own / Place your order, My only flower” (depending on the translation)…EVERYTHING !

In a way, B-fly Kaneki has found a flower to lean on.

For a butterfly, flowers are sustenance (nectar), home (some would stay around the same bunch of flowers, meet their mate and lay their eggs). Flowers can also be a butterfly’s last resting place. Indeed, since butterflies are short-living animals (less then a year if no hibernation), it’s not unusual for them to die around flowers since drinking is the only thing they do when they’re not looking for a mate, flying towards another flower, escaping a predator, etc.

On the other hand, most plants need insects like butterflies to help in the pollination. For many plants, no wind or animals => no pollination => NO FRUITS aka new life. It means death in the long run…

I don’t know if this means a potential Touken child. While no protection was present in RE125, Kaneki’s fertility as an artificial OEG has yet to be confirmed HOWEVER…

RANDOM FACT 3: Sodium as well as many other minerals is vital for the butterflies reproduction. With all the sweat and tears the couple got on Chapter #125, plus all the salt from some parts of the fandom…Touka might get pregnant with twins 😂 ! Ahem.

The current arc low key should be called :RE Touken Arc shows some of Kaneki and Touka’s mutual feelings and fears for the other. They are two very clumsy, insecure and fearful kids who cared a lot about each other, about their safety, wellbeing, happiness, stability, etc. Circumstances and their own short coming kept them apart for years up until now. In :RE 122, Touka confessed her feelings to Kaneki and my boi Ken was also completely exposed by Haise, sip sip.

The latest chapter, TG:re 125 titled X, went back with the butterfly parallels.

The first page is a resting butterfly seen through some window (?). One similar to all the butterflies in the series, showing some form of continuity.


The final panel shows Kaneki in his now infamous foetal position. Touka is watching over him as he sleeps, resting with his head on her lap.

Many fans have spotted the Tarot numbers 6 and/or 19 from the get-go so I won’t elaborate on them (why can I never see those numbers as quickly as they do, sheesh!). What kept my attention was the shape of the sheets around Kaneki.

They’re shaped like a wing !

>> me reaching towards the symbolism and beyond!!…but maybe not  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 The circle seems to be closed, at last. The lost butterfly finally found its flower.

Now, will the flower bear fruits? Like butterflies, flowers don’t live long: they “die” once the pollination is successful and a fruit/seed on its way to be created.

Will Touka be Kaneki’s last resting place?

Only Ishida-sensei knows…

 /*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

The Tarot number I did see was in the title: X, the Wheel of Fortune (10).

If I’ve got enough time and it’s not already done, I might post something on this:

        A- Tarot Card X : the Wheel of Fortune (10) and the possible meanings for the chapter

        B- The tarot card and its links to Touka, Kaneki and their relationship and the opposite combination (example: [X & II] and [II & X]) =>

1/ Wheel of Fortune and Touka, the High priestess

2/ Wheel of Fortune and Ken, the Hanged Man

3/ Wheel of Fortune and the Lovers aka Touken

4/ Wheel of Fortune and the SUN


What a time to be alive !

NOTE 21.05.2017: I double-checked the words for this post and I would say that Kaneki would be a MOTH rather than a Butterfly. I didn’t make the difference mostly because I didn’t realise that english speakers have very different words for these insects (in French, a moth = un papillon de nuit, while a butterfly = un papillon de jour…) Sorry…   Moths and Butterflies were lepidoterans formely separated into opposite sub-species ( Heterocera and Rhopalocera). Now the distinction is a little obsolete.

Still, in culture and through time, moths have been viewed as ugly and negative (in opposition to Butterflies). Many of the “negative symols” of Butterflies are also found for Moths, especially Death. Yay ! With the Reverse Tower of Doom, Reverse Sun of bittersweetness and a possible Wheel of Fortune…What kind of tragedy will befall onto Touka, Kaneki (and maybe their hypothetic unborn child) ?

p3/p5 family au info thing

first and foremost, i’d just like to reiterate that this is an au so i can do whatever i want with it, don’t go militant on me for having fun pls thanks 

alright so i woke up with like 409386093 asks about the parents dying [niijima parents’ death isn’t a spoiler but there are p3p spoilers in here so watch out :0….]  and i suppose this is needed shdfjfgkhfjal i’m laughing so hard- so the range of questions i got are “YOU’RE GOING TO KILL THEM OFF?” “THEY’RE GOING TO DIE” “THIS MEANS THEY’RE DEAD” and

OKAY SO, i originally made this au so i can have them both alive and happy so, it doesn’t really follow p5verse that much. i didn’t really think too deep about this au to ponder about how they’ll die because i just really wanted to have an akiham family to play with LOL (i like to call this branch “please save me from p3p depression”)

however, after some development with friends, it got a little bit more angsty and this is where it starts to follow p5verse more. so back to the original p5 plot: yes, both parents will die like how p5 has told. (i call this branch “Depression Setting In” GKSGLSKG:AL;)

so basically:

  • first branch = lighthearted; “No Angst Allowed, Good Time Only”
  • second branch = angsty, bittersweet; “lms if u love eating shit and dying”

i like both branches tho so i will most likely draw for both sometimes! mostly just the first branch tho bc i wanna run away from depression pls so i apologize in advance if i ever confuse you all with that HAHA so you can interpret my drawings with whichever branch you prefer: if you love being in post-p3p/p5 canon denial bliss or eating shit and dying, it’s up to you my dude

for the second branch, to answer the questions:
1) “how will hamuko die?”

Keep reading

I’m sorry… but I will never understand how Zutara is deemed unhealthy, dark, and abusive. I refuse to believe that relationship would’ve been anything other than wholly understanding and loving - and I’ll show you why… with pictures.

At the end of season two and the beginning of season three, we see Zuko struggling with his view of right and wrong. He’s betrayed his uncle, he’s going home, he’s struggling with a whirlwind of emotion and when given the opportunity to open up, by a girl who’s known him his entire life, he readily takes it.

Mai: Aren’t you cold? 
Zuko: I’ve got a lot of my mind. It’s been so long… over three years since I was home. I wonder what’s changed. I wonder how I’ve changed. 

In any functioning, healthy relationship, you would expect this flood of feelings and thoughts to met with sympathy or input or at the very least… a hand on the shoulder and a comforting hug. Instead, Zuko is basically told to shut up, to put up, to push the feelings away because they aren’t important enough to be bothered with. 

Now, you might come at me and say well, Mai really didn’t ask. She just wanted to know if he was cold and that’s fine. I give you this: 

Under Ba Sing Se, Zuko interacts with Katara in a calm environment. This is the first time they are together and not fighting and they have a chance to talk. Katara, obviously, takes the opportunity to rant and rage about how terrible Zuko is and he quietly sits there and takes it. He only protests, peacefully stating that she knows nothing about him, when she’s finished her wild stream of thoughts, to which Katara responds as such: 

Katara: I don’t? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through. Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.  
Zuko, sympathetically: I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common.

Now, Zuko could’ve simply said I’m sorry. He could’ve stopped there. But he slips and lets a bit of information about his past hang in the air. In turn, this angry, hurt waterbender - who is raw and emotional after opening up to the enemy - could’ve easily told him to shut up. She would have every right to. He’s hurt her. He’s scared her and chased her all over the world. 

But she doesn’t. She’s known him for five minutes, but she quickly turns around and let’s Zuko open up about his life, his scar, the things that bother him. And then she offers to fix one of the things that weighs him down!!!

And these are quiet, peaceful moments between these pairs. There’s no fighting or drama. If you really want to see how these relationships function, let’s look at periods when both parties are upset with the other. 

For example, let’s assess two intense interactions between Mai and Zuko in the Boiling Rock and then, Katara and Zuko in the Southern Raiders.  

In the Boiling Rock, Mai is angry with Zuko for leaving the Fire Nation, essentially dumping her in the process, and only explaining his motivations and plans through a letter. Now, I get why she says she deserved a face-to-face conversation, but why does she think she deserves one? She shut him down when he last expressed his conflicting decisions, so why does she think he would even feel comfortable explaining his choice to commit treason? 

And look at his body language - they’re together again and there is a chance for her to let him express himself in the way she wants, but she’s belittled him. He’s made to feel small and worthless by someone he thought he could trust (hmmm sound familiar *cough* Ozai *cough*). Then that’s it. She decides whatever he’s said is enough and she’s through and she throws the letter at him, promptly storming out.

Then we have the Southern Raiders… Katara feeling the bitter sting of Zuko’s betrayal in Ba Sing Se is given a chance to get an explanation from him. 

First of all, Zuko seeks her out. It’s obvious she’s pissed, but they are facing each other, having an eye-level conversation, and Zuko’s expression holds remorse and an earnest drive to fix the problem. Even in the intense, heated moment, Katara shows him a certain amount of respect. She takes him head on. She doesn’t belittle or negate him. She gives valid reasons why she’s upset and he listens and tries to fix it.

In a way, he does fix it - the best he can. Katara is heartbroken (much more than Mai is) and she let’s him take her on this journey with an unknown ending and trusts him with her decision - whatever it is. He doesn’t pressure her, he doesn’t push his thoughts or feelings on her. He let’s her be… until Katara decides she’s through and she forgives him. SHE FORGIVES HIM. She forgives the face of the enemy, the son of the man that terrorized her home, the countryman of the person who killed her mother. She forgives him and it’s like this fucking weight lifts off both of them. 

Sure… you can come at me and say Oh, well Mai saved Zuko at the Boiling Rock… Okay fine, I’ll give you that.  It didn’t change anything between them. She came right back at the end of the series and threatened him again. Is she still so incapable of understanding his motivations? Can she not see what his decision brought about? Look around you, Mai! Zuko sacrificed everything and, in turn, saved the world. He wasn’t purposefully being hurtful and vindictive. He wasn’t trying to disappoint you. He was trying to bring about a better future and he fucking succeeded. 

And I just want to post that image side-by-side with the image of Katara kneeling over him post-lightning scene. Katara watches Zuko - the future Fire Lord, the world’s last chance for a decent ruler in the Fire Nation - throw his life by the way side in favor of hers. He literally tossed aside everything they’d worked for and hoped for - he almost gave it all up to save her life.

Mai - who’s relationship was sacrificed for the greater good - threatens Zuko. Katara - who’s last year has been spent training and building up to this final battle - doesn’t. She understands him. She gets him. She’s grateful for him.

From their very first, real interaction, Katara gets Zuko. She takes the time to learn about him and he takes the time to learn about her. It’s healthy. It’s conducive. And even if you don’t think it’s romantic, it’s certainly some next level friend shit. 

If anything, it’s the first relationship shown here that’s unhealthy. 

Lesson 7: Demons

By: Admin Vorst

Live class date and time: To Be Determined

Demonologist, demonolator and Satanists.

Demonologist study demons.

Demonolators study demons and worship them as divine beings.

Satanists adhere to Satan and or may not include demons in their religion or practice.

These terms can overlap,but don’t need to.

With this I’d like to quickly introduce myself. Hi, I’m Vorst and I’m both a Satanist and a demonolator, though Satan is my God, above everyone else. I’m also oath-bound to Him, which means I’ve promised to worship Him my entire life.

With this a warning: don’t make oaths for the fun of it. Changing your mind can happen, and in experience: neither gods nor demons will take kindly to oath-breakers.

Where does the word ‘demon’ come from?

The word comes from the Ancient Greek word 'δαιμον’, which the Romans also wrote as 'daemon’ later on in their own literature.

The meaning of the word 'daemon’ is: a spirit between gods and Man. You can see that the Greeks nor the Romans ever saw daemons as malicious spirits.

That changed with the rise of Christianity and Abrahamic religions in general. In contrary to Roman tactics, some of the now newly conquered Christian countries slowly began to forbid and shun any worship of gods and spirits outside of their own pantheon.

To the eyes of the Christian in these places, foreign beliefs were seen to be evil, corrupt and disfigured. Their gods being viewed as evil beings, out there to ruin people’s lives. They were to be portrayed as such that no one would ever want to associate themselves with these deities, and so previously normal words to describe certain entities had now gotten a sinister meaning.

That is the reason why people in modern times have taken it upon themselves to use 'daemon’ again instead of 'demon’, to distinguish themselves from the people who see them as solely malicious.

What are demons?

In modern shows and TV-series most hold on to their favourite stereotypes: terrifying evil creatures constantly possessing humans. In the more obscure films and media forms, they’re starting to slowly get to the truth of demons, usually portraying their wit and intelligence. This is most likely due to Christianity becoming less influential - and the fact that controversy is a great hit in everything.

Darker parts of the human self. Our darker emotions, such as fear, anger and sadness are seen as our personal demons. But also addiction, violent behaviour and sexual acts, as demons themselves are often associated with exactly these. These inner demons, as they are called, are obviously not the demons I will be discussing.

In reality, the entities known as demons are spirits and/or gods from ancient times. Most of the time, however, there is a line between when an entity is considered a demon, and when a god. Satan, per example, is referred to being both “the God of this world” and the king of demons. Some say he is not a demon, and some say he’s a demon but not the leader.

Another example of this is Astarte. Both seen as the female counterpart of the demon Astaroth, but she is also known as the Middle Eastern goddess Ishtar, worshipped from the Bronze Age in the ancient Levant among the Canaanites and Phoenicians.

Another example being Beelzebub, the Lord of Flies, as Biblical scholar Thomas Kelly Cheyne suggested that it might be a corruption of the name Ba‘al Zəbûl, “Lord of the High Place” (i.e., Heaven) or “High Lord” - a god previously worshipped.

The line between whether demons are gods or spirits is fairly vague. It is also worth noting that some have mentioned that some, like Astarte, might take offence to being referred to as a demon, so do be aware when contacting them and ask them what they want to be referred to as.  

Possession.

When people do feel like they’re possessed it’s usually either that they’re not well in touch with their inner selves, or that they’re influenced by negative energy of maybe a spirit. Though it is far more often the first scenario that’s causing the sensation. Of course, this excludes people with mental issues, who I advice to seek professional help in these cases. Also, therapists can help too.

Are demons evil?

Demons are as equally evil as gods are, as demonolators see them as divine beings. We all know gods of war, and yet they were worshipped. We know of gods who have murdered, assaulted and committed various human crimes and were and/or are still worshipped. There are various reasons for this, one being that gods can never be wrong, as they are not bound by human rules and transcend human morality. This, however, is more of a philosophical idea so I will not elaborate on that now.

Because demons are often portrayed as having characteristics similar to humans, one could never fully call a demon solely evil, nor could they ever be solely good.

This will probably make you wonder:

Is it reasonable to fear demons?

Absolutely. Whereas not per se evil, all are capable of acting hostile - this being their one trait everyone agrees on.

Demons are ancient and powerful entities that often care not for human problems. They often view humans as either acceptable or downright worthless to them.

And why would they in any other way?

In most religious practices, a god grants a human their prayer to come true when the human has presented themselves favourable to said god.

In the case of demons? They require no worship. Some gods don’t need worship either, but in the case of demons they appear completely separate from humanity. Despite that, as demons are closer to the raw core of human emotions than the general god would be, demons feed on the strongest of feelings: sadness, anger, fear, love and happiness. Demons are seen as spiritual predators in this regard.

As they require nor seem to desire an active response from humans, they are not inclined to mix themselves with mortals.

This does not mean a demon will never be genuinely kind. They will be. But do note that demons are skilled tricksters in getting what they want through fake promises and sweet lies.

When assured a demon expresses interest, kindness and acceptance a mutual agreement can be agreed on.

Banishing a demon?

So before I go into working with them, I’ll discuss how to get rid of them. First of all: ask them to leave. Be polite. Maybe they’re just simply approaching you.

If that does not work, try salt or spells to make others distance yourself from you.

You could also try and evoke another authority figure, like your god, to protect you.

Don’t engage them in a fight. Antagonized demons are the last you would want.

Working with demons?

Demons are wise teachers and are willing to share their secrets when either politely asked or forced to do so.

Either way seems to work fine, and have different names as well.

Evoking a demon is the act of forcefully conjuring a demon in your space, as in shown and described in the book of the Lesser Key of Solomon.

Invoking a demon is the act of inviting a demon in your space. You leave it up to the demon whether or not they show up.

The latter is obviously far more polite; modern demonolators prefer that one and I will be discussing that one the most.

Invocation differs from person to person. But, I will now state the general idea of doing this safely.

Always go for an invocation and never an evocation. This is personal advice. Demons will not be pleased if you force them. When casting a circle, during invocation the demon will be inside the circle together with you, with positive energy.

During evocation, the demon will be trapped inside the circle, the person outside looking in. Honestly, it’s terrible to start an acquaintanceship like that.

In order to prevent antagonizing the demon, be polite and go for an invocation. An invocation can be as difficult as you want it to be, in its simplest form it can even be as small as a prayer.

In my case, I cleanse my room, surround myself with a mental barrier (or through a smell I associate with Satan) where I invite the demon in. Then I draw a general summoning circle in the air. This can be done with a ritual knife, athame, wand or you hands. When using a sharp object do remember not to stab it in the air as if it’s an attack.

We don’t tend to attempt to knife our guests.

Afterward, or during, I say the Enn for the specific demon I wish to invoke.

Enns are short sentences in an unknown language, claimed to be demonic, of invitation, admiration or requests of protections. There are various theories on how they were found. The first demonolator who wrote them down was Alexander Willit in the 16th century. Later, other demonolators used them in their practice too. We know it is a language, with grammar, but we do not know the grammar itself yet. We do know the meaning of some sentences. Because we know little, we also do not know how to correctly pronounce these enns. Say it how you want.

Some examples of this language and their translation: “Ganic Tasa Fubin Flereous” could be translated as Fire protect the flame, Lord Flereous, per example. Another example is the enn for Barbatos, which is: “Eveta fubin Barabatos”.

After that, I go and meditate until I feel a presence. When I do, I politely try to communicate with the demon, mentally or verbally. There are various ways a demon can show itself depending on your spiritual state. Experienced demonolators reported manifestations so strong they initially thought someone had broken into their house.

When done, I thank the demon and end the invocation. This can be as simple as saying goodbye and as complex as an entire ritual. Do what you feel works best.


Originally posted on another blog, it was moved here.

On the complexity of words in our racialized and colonialized world, and my own liminality...

TW: Discussion of the term “g*psy,” which I know may be a triggering word to some of my American followers in particular. I’ve done my best to tag this. Let me know if I’ve left something out.

So I need to talk about this. I really don’t want to because I feel like I’m going to be attacked for doing so. But this is my life in a super literal way, and I am taking time to process all this, with my cultural background, and my personal history, and my non-belonginess, and all the other super heavy baggage I have, and my society has, with this word and this way of life.

I’ve seen the occasional post on here talking about the culture on Tumblr of sometimes oversimplifying their activism and not understanding the full breadth of certain issues, and I’m kicking myself for it even as I type, but… today I’d like to address the international complexity of the term “gypsy.” Specifically, its use in the UK.

(Oh god, what am I doing sticking my foot in this hornet’s nest…)

All I ask is that you really just read this before you rip my head off, yeah? Please. I need to talk about this.

That word does not mean the same thing here that it means in the US, where I come from.

In America, it’s a pretty negative word to a lot of people of any degree of social consciousness. In America, that word is associated almost exclusively with the Romani people, an extremely marginalized group of POC who’ve been subject to every type of violence in existence, up to and including genocide. It is almost always used as either a slur, or an ignorantly appropriative capitalist tool. They’re the only well-known group of nomadic people Americans are familiar with in relatively modern times (since most nomadic Natives were killed or had their seasonal routes cut off long ago), and naturally, it has therefore remained a very racialized term in America. As a general rule, all nomadic peoples known to Americans are POC who have suffered genocide, sometimes to the point of extinction.

It’s fucking heavy. And that is what my brain still emotionally understands, when I hear that word. I’ve felt, and feel, that ickiness listening to someone use that word carelessly, or as if it were a trendy aesthetic™. This post is hard to write, because I have to use it.

So, Americans, I get this. ‘K? Me too. And Brits, if you’ve ever wondered why this strikes such a chord with Americans, that’s why, and this might be some handy knowledge for you to have when traveling to the US: “gypsy” is not a nice word in the US, and “Traveller” isn’t a term most Americans will recognize. We don’t have any legislation protecting Traveller rights, the way you do (inadequate as they may be). If you want to refer to the Romani, use Romani. If you want to refer to Travellers as a diverse group, use “nomadic people.”

But now I live in the UK. In the UK, “gypsy” is a government-official term, and people refer to themselves and others by this term routinely. And most confusingly, to my American sensibilities, it has little to do with your ethnicity. Even ethnic gypsies are most frequently white British, in the UK (the UK has its own native nomadic populations, especially from Ireland and Scotland). But there are also non-ethnic gypsies. It’s a term that refers more to your mode of living than to your race.

My gypsy neighbors are Irish, English, and Romani. The Irish Travellers and Romani obviously have an ethnic history of nomadism. But the ethnically English do not. He’s a Traveller, legally speaking, and part of larger gypsy society. And here, that is legally and culturally legitimate. He isn’t considered an ethnic minority, the way ethnic Travellers are, but culturally has a home under both terms.

There are other slurs in the UK for Travellers, of course. And there are also people who talk about them in a racist way (*cough* Tories *cough*). If I were to draw a comparison to American linguistics, “gypsy” in the UK is much like “queer” in America. It is simultaneously a neutral and inclusive word, and a word which is often found in the mouth of bigots. It has a complex history that has both highs and lows.

I still prefer to use Traveller, because I’m American and “gypsy” leaves a weird taste in my mouth. But that only works in writing, where it is capitalized. In speech, that term could just as easily mean kids on a gap year, and it isn’t useful for specifying nomadic people. So in speech… the word everyone uses is “gypsy.” This word which gives me the willies is now a normal part of my life. It is hard for me to get used to that. But also, apprehensively positive. What a wonderful community this is. It isn’t any stupid stereotypes. I mean, the dude a couple caravans down from me is a graphic designer. It’s just a really solid community of people who are just… really wonderful.

So… this is a major part of my existence right now. Please remember that Tumblr is an international community. Not everyone you see using that word is a racist throwing out a slur. Some of them aren’t even referring to the Romani. If they’re British, they’re probably more likely to be referring to the Irish, or to people of diverse or unknown ethnic backgrounds.

It may also be something I start talking about more often, because this is now my life. I live on wheels, in a mostly Traveller community. Legally, I’m a “New Traveller” (and the idea of referring to myself that way sends off a degree of appropriative heebjeebies that’s just unbelievable, but that is the fact of the matter). That is, I would be if anyone knew I was here. But the way these things are interacting for me, and how simultaneously uncomfortable and necessary it is to learn about them given my cultural background, means that it is something that is likely to come up. Something I will need to talk about. A consuming part of my life at the moment.

These people have taken me in, in a very real way that pretty much makes me cry when I think about it. They’ve fed me, and kept me warm, and helped me keep this hell shed from tipping over. They’ve gifted me things for my craft – the part of my life this blog is about. I don’t want to avoid talking about them as they talk about themselves, or understanding the way my self-perception is changing as this is happening, for fear I’ll be mistaken for an asshole. It feels like hiding who they proudly are, because the culture I come from has a different history than they do. I don’t live in that culture anymore, and probably never will again. I need to find some way of reconciling the dissonance with the way my life is now.

I don’t think any of this takes away from the complexity of that term. And to all you goddamn Nazis, don’t you dare take this as a reason why it’s ok to fucking harass the Romani, or I swear I will hex the shit out of you. And since the UK tends to follow American trends, I wouldn’t be surprised if that term eventually goes out of vogue.

But today, it is a very different word from its American counterpart, which is essential for me to fully understand in the context of both my own life, and my experience of adopting my new culture as an immigrant. And I want people to understand where I and other people in Britain are coming from when we talk about it. And I feel a need to be understood in my own life right now.

So… This was probably unwise. I’ll take my blows I guess. I’m just reaching into the dark and hoping I’ll find some understanding. This is very much part of what kind of witch I’m becoming, and more broadly, what kind of human I’m becoming.

No one ever talks about abusive friendships so I'm going to and you better pay attention because this is important

People know all about abusive relationships- how to spot the signs, how to leave, etc. But no one ever talks about abusive friendships, which can be just as damaging and often is. It’s also a more dangerous trap because people don’t even realize that they’re actually being abused by their friends

I’m writing this post based off of my own experiences and what I’ve seen in others’. Feel free to add anything you might find relevant upon reblogging, because you could seriously help someone. 

The vast majority of my ‘friendships’ have been abusive to me (as much as I hate to admit that), and it’s a horrible experience that I never want anyone else to live through.

I just want to add the things one should look for so no one else has to deal with the same bullshit I always did:

  • You’d rather be by yourself than hang out with that person (NOT the same feeling as being drained because you’re an introvert- you just really don’t want to hang out with that person specifically)
  • You have to always be on guard and watch what you say because your friend might bitch you out or get irrationally angry
  • He/she/zhe insults you and tries to pass it off as “I’m just saying…” or “I’m just trying to help you”
  • Seeing their name on your caller I.D. puts the fear of God in you because you’re not sure whether they’ll be kind or ready to tear at you for some unknown reason when you pick it up.
  • You’re always there when they have problems, but when it comes down to YOUR problems they brush them off as unimportant, give shitty, half-asses advice (when it’s easy to tell they just don’t care), or turn it around to make it about them and effectively have a “my problems are more important than yours so shut up” moment
  • They insult the things you find joy in (yes, this includes fandoms) but heaven forbid you show any distain for something they like, even if you only respectfully disagree- you MUST like what they like OR ELSE YOU’RE STUPID!
  • They tell other people your secrets or tell other people your worst personality traits and basically talk smack about you. Which prevents others from wanting to be your friend.
  • They ask for your advice/opinion and then get mad when you give it
  • They insult your family for really insignificant reasons or for no reason at all (I’m not even kidding guys. It can get out of hand. I had a friend who constantly insulting my parents and my brother and even said my mother couldn’t cook worth shit. Rude.) 
  • Say you are unable to do things because they “know you” and use that as an excuse to say you can’t do something you want to do. “You can’t do that, you’re too short LOL” yeah fuck you too asshole
  • You’re afraid that if you end the friendship they will go into Bitch Mode and tell all your darkest secrets and talk crap about you to everyone.
  • You have reason to believe that their Bitch Face is actually their True Face
  • They can’t seem to find anything to talk about except talking crap about other people and expecting you to agree with them (my 'best friend’ insulted another friend of mine, who I had ASKED OUT ONCE and was quite fond of, and got mad at me when I said anything in her defense.) 
  • The previous point leads me to the one where they insult your other friends. 
  • THEY ALWAYS TRY TO PIN THEIR PROBLEMS ON YOU EVEN IF YOU HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Usually this happens after they ask for your “advice” and then blame you for everything later or make another problem out of YOUR OPINION.
  • They consistently use the wrong pronouns (if you’re trans*- and this doesn’t include times when they have to use the wrong pronouns because of safety reasons for you) or out you (as LGBTQA+) at inappropriate times, and then get angry when you call them out on it- “but it’s obvious you’re gay anyway, so why does it matter?” “It’s too hard to use the right pronouns! Just deal with it!” (even though they’ve known what the correct pronouns are for MONTHS and after constant reminders)
  • And lastly if something feels off to you or you just feel upset or off-put by your 'friend’ (or GROUP OF FRIENDS in some cases) It’s a toxic friendship and it’s NOT good for you!

If you feel you’re in a toxic friendship, end it. Right now. It may hurt, the other person may throw a hissy fit and try so say YOU’RE the bad friend (you’re not!), you might not want to hurt the person’s feelings (which you shouldn’t worry too much about because they didn’t really care about your feelings, now did they?). Just end it, and don’t look back, even if you’re left completely friendless.

Being friendless is by far much healthier for you than staying with a group of toxic friends who put you down and make you feel like shit. I know that sound convoluted but it’s absolutely true.

And remember that it’s not the end of the world and that you WILL find new friends- hopefully ones who are decent human beings and you’ll have a real friendship waiting for you.

Don’t continue to just live with it. Do something about it and in the long run you will be much happier, trust me. If in reading this list you were heavily reminded of a 'friend’ I’d suggest looking at the friendship again- it’s probably toxic, and not the Brittany Spears kind.

A Few of my Favorite Fics by a Few of my Favorite Followers

@hubblegleeflowerAttentions, Experiments, Oddnesses (6k, explicit) The point was, they had carved out a platonic relationship for themselves with infinite care. Sherlock believed that John was largely straight, and John believed that Sherlock didn’t feel things in that way, and around those beliefs they’d built up a friendship that worked. And now John was drifting over to those carefully established boundaries and prodding them gently, and seemed to be asking, “What if we…?” And it felt…amazing.

@hiddenlacunaHaircut (3k, explicit) “Sherlock, you need a haircut,” John says. “You’re beginning to look like Jonathan Creek.”

@silentauroriamthereal (SilentAuror) — At the Heart of it All (20k, explicit) John has been back at Baker Street for four months now and thinks it’s about time they had the Talk to see whether or not they could be more than friends. Sherlock has a lot of uncertainty about this concept for multiple reasons. Unabashed romance.

@may-shepardTree Topper (4k, explicit) Sherlock and John are celebrating Christmas the best way they know how–alone together, with booze. They’ve almost finished decorating their tree, but John is determined to find the best way to top it.  (This one inspired me to remix it in song — Ding Dong Merrily on High.)

@breath4soulThe 12 Truths of Christmas (3k, teen) “It’s a simple construct, John. There is nothing I value more than data. Facts, John.” Sherlock flourishes a long, thin hand, then steeples his fingers together over his lap. He scans John with steel blue eyes. “In place of some appalling or imbecilic gift inflicted upon me in the name of tradition on Christmas day, I propose that you provide me with one previously unknown fact about you for each day leading up to Christmas. 12 in total, John.”

@alexxphoenix42Our Divinest Senses - Another Ending (WIP, explicit)   +This is an alternate ending for an unfinished work.+  After being sectioned, John and Sherlock met for the first time when they were sentenced to six months as the only residents of a secret government facility on one of the uninhabited Shetland Islands. Forced to work together to play a series of elaborate games set up by Mycroft, they gradually became friends, and then lovers. Now, rather than continuing to attempt to escape, they have decided to use this time as an all-expense-paid Sex Holiday.

@iamjohnlocked4lifeConductor of Light (1k, gen) AU where everything’s the same but John wears a T-shirt with Conductor of Light printed on the front.

@butterflygrl62 (1butterfly_grl1)— Heat Seeking Octopus (249 words, teen) A quiet night.

@imnova (NovaNara) — The Perfect Gift (4k, explicit) John’s birthday looms ever-nearer…and Sherlock needs the perfect gift to declare his feelings with.

@daisyfairy1 — DaisyFairy (2k, gen) Sherlock is babysitting when John comes home early. When John overhears Sherlock telling Rosie a story it will change their relationship forever.

@a-different-equationFrozen in Time - A (Danish) Christmas Love (4k, teen) Once upon a time there were two boys. This is the story how once upon December, they found the missing Christmas Spirit, love and a new beginning.

@ghislainem70The Catherine Wheel (4k, mature) A Johnlock first time. Sherlock has sensory sensitivity. Can Doctor John Watson help?

@missdeliadiliGive You Fever (5k, not rated) In which John discovered how to turn Sherlock on by singing a song. Inspired by the song “Give you Fever” by Adam Lambert

@sherlockssister1The Room of Light (7k, explicit) Sherlock visits John’s Room in his Mind Palace to preserve an important first, and last, in his life. But how will John feel about this?

@consultingsmartarse (consultingsmartass)— Revelio (4k, teen)  Keeping secrets from Sherlock is nearly impossible. Nearly, because John’s got a whopper that Sherlock hasn’t deduced yet.

@hope-austenHearsay (6k, mature) So many words in the English language sound similar. For instance, the words “kick” and “kiss.” In the right circumstances, in the right frame of mind, a person could very well say one and mean the other. Or, a person could easily hear one, when it really was the other. But what happens when it occurs more than once? What happens when it keeps occurring?

@ancientreaderOne Bed That Wasn’t Slept In, and Another That Was (8k, explicit) John doesn’t mind sharing a bed with Sherlock. Sherlock dissents. Things go downhill from there. [I have left the other summaries as the authors wrote them, but I feel the need to add to this one: After going downhill, things go back up. Way, way up.]

@lmirandasThere is Something Clearly Wrong with This (5k, teen) Mycroft Holmes was looking for his troublemaker brother when he found Greg Lestrade working on an assignment for potions class. No matter how hard they both try, together, they can’t seem to find out what is wrong the potion in question, something that is clearly frustrating for our local residing genius. What he didn’t know is that there was nothing wrong with the potion, nothing wrong with the potion at all.

@crazycatt71Tingle Gels the “lost” verse (21 words, explicit) A “lost” verse to ChrisCalledMeSweetie’s Tingle Gels

@221bsweetheartMerry Christmas Everyone (1k, teen) Christmas domestic fluff.

@jamesphillimoresumbrella (tepidspongebath) — Texting, Phones, and Three Hundred Garridebs (3k, teen) John Watson has been paying unusual attention to his mobile. Sherlock Holmes isn’t quite sure he likes this, and Takes Steps.

@cyncyrgainesAcross the Room (4k, mature) Anniversary party for Sherlock and John, Sherlock spends alot of time watching John from one side of the room while both try to figure out if the other will say yes when the question is popped.

@fangirllock —The Words Whispered into Rosie’s Ears (1k, gen) What happens when it’s bedtime and little Rosie refuses to sleep? Sherlock tries different ways, but who knew talking about John Watson works the best?

This rec list only includes authors whose fic I’ve read on AO3.  If you’re a fic writer who follows me and I left you off this list, it doesn’t mean I don’t love your work.  It just means that either you don’t post on AO3 or I don’t know who you are on AO3.  If it’s the latter, feel free to drop me an ask to introduce yourself.  :)  

Let’s talk about Silver.

This post is partly a response to this brilliant post by @squid-inspiration and to this equally brilliant one by @twilight-sparx, but also summarizes some of my personal thoughts upon the subject of John Silver. 

Here is the thing: Silver has never really changed as a person, he has grown some, he’s discovered unknown qualities in himself, but ultimately, he is still the exact man we see in season one. The interesting thing is that he has everyone - including Flint, Madi, and probably even himself - convinced that he is a good man when in truth, he absolutely isn’t. 

Silver starts the show as a drifter, committed to one selfish goal - his independence and financial security.  He’s a liar, a thief, and operates under no illusion of grandeur. He’s not necessarily cruel or interested in getting his hands dirty, but he’s unscrupulous. He has no moral principles, he actively refrains from passing moral judgment, he avoids attachment. 

When he allies with Flint, he does so knowing what Flint is capable of. He doesn’t blink an eye when he finds Flint cradling Gates’ dead body. Where Du Fresne has trouble grasping the extent of Flint’s amibition, Silver admires him for it - not because he thinks Flint has a noble goal, simply because he recognizes Flint’s singular dedication. 

Mid-season two, Silver’s priorities start to change. He’s been accepted into the ranks of the crew, he realizes that he has found a grateful audience for his antics, he realizes that he can gain influence, he makes the addictive experience of what it feels like to belong. That’s when his goal changes, and instead of being focused only on his own prosperity, his goal becomes belonging - because he has seen the appeal of it. His loyalty toward the crew - his unability to abandon them - comes as a surprise to himself. 

However, this newfound sense of belonging does not change who he is. It doesn’t change his moral ompass. He remains with the crew not because he’s committed to the cause or lifestlye of the pirates, he remains because he has formed an attachment which is strongly tied to what the crew means to him - what the crew can do for him. Silver is blinded by the new sense of importance he finds in being a quartermaster. He likes the power, the admiration. Acknowledgment and validation. The men like him. The men take his orders. The men listen to him.

Then season three wraps up, and Silver finds something even more alluring. True power. We see him get closer to Flint and grow more confident. Things are going well for him: Long John Silver is born, he finds Madi, he’s starting to be perceived as a leader in his own right. But what he still doesn’t have is any kind of principle that goes beyond what is good for him and his loved ones. His conversation with Flint at the end of season three - it states quite clearly that the most important thing to Silver is his own survival, and the best possible outcome that ensures his continued wellbeing. 

The war has never been Silver’s war. Flint is sorely mistaken if he believes, only for a second, that Silver is doing more than tagging along because it’s the most beneficial life for him at that particular moment. Silver’s personality has not changed, it’s only that he’s found a part to play which holds a different allure - the shiny, new pirate persona is a reward all on its own.

Silver loves Madi. Absolutely. He loves her a lot more than he loves his crew, and the inherent selfishnesss of a love that prioritizes a beloved’s life over those of everyone else becomes most obvious now, in season four. 

That is not to say that Flint, in his own way, is any less selfish than Silver. His selfishness, however, is less centered around his personal needs - emotional fulfillment, other people’s esteem and admiration - it’s focused more on abstract principles that he sacrifices everyone and everything to, even his own happiness.

Whereas Silver sacrifices everyone and everything for the things that bring him joy and gratification. 

For Silver, the question of whether it’s the right thing to exchange the cache for Madi is never even worthy of consideration. The cause has never been important to him, the cause, for Silver, is completely random. The crew no longer matters, loyalty toward Flint or their allies no longer matters. All that is left is Madi and what she means to him

His priorities may change, but Silver is still first and foremost an opportunist. Flint, on the other hand, is an idealist, or at least someone who is willing to deny himself when it means fighting for a goal that he forces himself to believe in. No less selfish, but certainly not more so, and as opposed to Silver, Flint actually has a working moral compass. That’s why Flint hates himself so much. 

All of that doesn’t mean that Silver isn’t capable of being compassionate, surprisingly brave, even loyal as long as there’s nothing at stake. Silver is not a good man, but he’s certainly no worse than any of the other characters in the show. Ultimately, Silver is playing a role, just as Flint does, but I think he’s a litle too convinced that he actually is Long John Silver, feared and respected pirate captain. I think he’s in denial about a lot of things, first and foremost his own responsibility. Just as he’s trying to blame Flint in 4.08 for the things he has done willingly and for his own, personal gain, he has been trying to re-frame his conflict with Billy as something that Billy presumaby made him do. 

For some reason, everyone else (apart from Billy) is buying into this narrative as well. Especially Flint, who has become so attached to Silver that he falsely attributes some of the virtues of James McGraw and Thomas Hamilton to him. 

I really think that Flint is in love with Silver - not necessarily in a romantic or sexual way, there’s very little for me to indicate that kind of attraction. But Flint’s assessment of Silver in 4.08? It’s his infatuation speaking. He’s been conned, same way as everyone else, into believing that Silver is a good person. If Flint has burrowed himself in Silver’s head, as Hands says, the opposite is also true: Silver has wormed his way into Flint’s heart, and he’s what Flint, who has pretty much given up on his own happiness, sees as his legacy. Flint, who wanted Thomas and Miranda as Nassau’s governors, now wants Silver and Madi as Nassau’s pirate king and queen. And while he may be right about Madi, I think he’s sorely mistaken about Silver. 

If we assume that both Flint and Silver survive the show, and end up as they do in Treasure Island, I think that ultimately, Silver will suffer the greater loss. His own sense of self-worth and purpose is now tied so strongly to how other people perceive him, to his new, shiny, position of power, the glory, that I think it will be difficult for him to accept that that he no longer has it. Silver will give up the war, but he will always mourn his own loss of relevance. He will become the Long John Silver of Treasure Island, the old man who was a part of something exciting and important, who can’t get over the loss of something that was bigger than him. A veteran in peace, talking about the good old times. Exaggerating his own importance, his own greatness, and incapable of letting go of the treasure and everything it stands for. 

DEAR EVAN HANSEN LYRIC STARTERS ! 
     feel free to change any pronouns & such & make it more like your muse would say it, if you need to ! <3

“ have you been writing those letters to yourself? ”
“ dear ____, today’s gonna be a good day & here’s why…”
“ can we try to have an optimistic outlook, huh? ”
“ can we buck up just enough to see the world won’t fall apart? ”
“ we’re not giving up before we’ve tried. ”
“ this year, we make a new start. ”
“ perfect. ”
“ i’m proud of you already. ”
“ another stellar conversation for the scrapbook. ”
“ i’m kinda coming up empty. ”
“ does anybody have a map? ”
“ anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this? ”
“ i don’t know if you can tell, but this is just me pretending to know. ”
“ i need a clue. ”
“ the scary truth is i’m flying blind. ”
“ i’m making this up as i go. ”
“ you are not missing the first day. ”
“ i already said i’d go tomorrow. ”
“ he doesn’t listen. ”
“ look at him, he’s probably high.”
“ he’s definitely high. ”
“ each days another wrong turn. ”
“ i’ve learned to slam on the brake before i even turn the key. ”
“ give them no reason to stare. ”

Keep reading

How to “kill” the “middle stage”

I asked @y3lir-europe if i can write a 2nd part to this post  and he accepted, so thank you again. He focused on the fact that you need to learn more vocabulary and also the importance of recognizing what weaknesses you have, so i won’t cover that in my post. However, i’ll add some strategies and i’ll also add some suggestions on how to choose the right kind of vocabulary.

For the 2nd point of his post:

Start figuring out what you know and don’t know and want to know. Similar to a pros and cons list you are acknowledging what you can already do in your language, what you don’t know, and what you want to know. That way you can smoothly go into learning.

A pros and cons list is an amazing idea and after you are done, you just have to think of ways how to solve that. 

Since many people don’t feel motivated to do so because they will get out of their comfort zone and they want more like a book or a person to tell them what to do and how, i’ll make a motivational part at the end of this post.

Number3: Vocabulary!!!! Seriously, even though you are past the beginning level the real reason you are stuck is because you need more to work with. Try learning more advanced vocabulary. Medical terms, organs/bones, space, etc.

He is right here. However, you already know around 2.000 words so you will be wondering how you decide what to learn. Easy, you are going to use your preferences. Let’s say you’re a Harry Potter fan, can you talk about wizards, unicorns, dragons, magic? Then next week you focus only on this kind of vocabulary. Let’s think of other situations, you like makeup/cars/books, can you talk about them? And not in general “i like red cars”, i mean, talking about parts of the cars/books, what you’re doing with that makeup like blending and so on. Think what you usually like talking about and then make a list with what kind of vocabulary you need, in this way, you learn words that interest you not only random advanced vocabulary.

Number 4: Be creative. Try to learn how to play with the words you know. Learn how to speak in sarcasm, or with idioms. Learn some metaphors and similes. Try to find fun ways to use your language.

He’s right again, this is the time when you can start learning idioms! If you write “idioms in language” you will probably get a long list with suggestions. Make a course on memrise or quizlet, learn what interests you out of all these idioms.

Here i’m done with quoting y3lir and start writing my ideas.

Goals

Do you have a goal in your target language? Goals as “i want to be fluent” won’t work. Why? They are vague, so little details, you need something specific like “i want to be C1 by the end of the year”. After you have a goal, set some tiny ones like “i want to read 1 comic in Spanish by the end of the week”, “i want to understand what this songs says in 2 days” or maybe “i want to have a conversation for 10 minutes with an advanced learner/native”. Don’t forget to celebrate these mini goals, they will give you some motivation.

Variety

You got used to a routine by now. You probably have your favourite method of studying like duolingo, memrise, classes etc. You’re in a comfort zone and that won’t help you at all. I love and envy those people who have Nth days on duolingo, they can do something which i don’t, maintain a routine. However, i respect those people who give no damn about having a certain number of days on duolingo and memrise. They can’t use only those methods, they prefer variety and that’s helpful because they don’t get in a comfy zone. Now, if you really like the green owl, don’t give up at it. Keep duolingo and memrise in your routine but add something that will spice up your schedule. Add some activities that you haven’t tried before or you haven’t focused on them much. Talk to someone in your target language for 5 minutes, read a comic/book/story, play word games, watch a movie, write a short story, look around and name what you see and so. Have at least 1 activity that will be changed daily and that focuses on your weak spots.

Competition

Have you ever been around someone who is better than you at something? In such moments i want to improve, to be just as good if not better. I know that they worked a lot to be so good at that something and i want to do the same. Try to study with someone who is better than you at a language, or just talk to someone who is. Not only that they might motivate you a lot, but they can also correct your mistakes and maybe suggest you some solutions, they have been there already.

Challenge yourself

You might understimate yourself. Set a goal or a challenge that you think it’s difficult to achieve and try to finish what you are going to start.You might think that reading an entire book is difficult, then choose a story/comic/fanfic/article and read that. Next time, you choose another story/comic/fanfic/article and so on until you gain enough confidence and you can start reading that scary book. 

Motivation

At the beginning of this post, i said something about a game. I can’t focus on tasks for a long time because i get easily bored and many people just hate to have a routine so i thought that a rewarding system will work. “You want something? You should study for it.” that’s what i had in mind when i came up with this game. 

Basically, whatever you want (book, chocolate, a trip to Sweden, shoes etc.) has a number of points. I thought that 50pts should be the smallest amount of points for something. And there’s no “the highest amount of pts” thing. 

Let’s say you want a book, that’s 250pts. (you set the points, but try not to be too harsh with yourself, you want to get motivated, not to study until you die). In order to get that book you decide to learn 10 new words (10*10=100 pts), to read 2 pages from a book and to write down the unknown words (25*2= 50pts), to watch a movie in your target language (50pts) and to learn 5 idioms (5*25=125) and you got 325 pts, you get your book and next time when you want something you already have 75pts.