i just downloaded this video shut up

anonymous asked:

I seriously can't get enough of your Almost Human AU. If you could do another one (or maybe turn it into a fic) I'd love you forever omg

I’d love to turn it into a full fic, but I never complete anything in my life, hence the short bullet point stories haha.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

  • Leonard’s head is pounding when he wakes up. Not from alcohol; he doesn’t remember drinking excessively earlier that night. Jim’s presence usually takes away the need to drink a lot. A few beers is enough while they walk, bicker, or just relax together. Though Jim doesn’t drink, and that kind of takes away the pleasure of drinking in company. No, this headache isn’t from drinking. If the blood trickling down from his head to his face is any indication; it definitely wasn’t caused by drinking. Not just that, there’s a faint beeping ringing in his ears, and when he reaches out, he becomes increasingly aware that this isn’t his bedroom. He’s outside, in the park. And there’s a bomb strapped around his neck. “Good evening, agent McCoy,” a voice rings from the phone strapped to the bomb - filming his every second. “Nero,” Leonard says, “I take it you’re no longer in jail.” “Smart. You smart enough to dismantle that bomb, too? Don’t think so. You have 20 minutes, and the world’s watching.” “You know I’m just going to lock you up again,” Leonard says, his fingers reaching out to feel the thing around his neck. “What, from the afterlife? Good luck with that.
  • Leonard isn’t calm. He’s anything but. The fact that he’s didn’t wake up in the morning in his bed is concerning enough, let alone the fact that there’s a bomb strapped to his neck, and he has no idea where Jim is. But the world is watching him through that stupid phone that’s filming him. He thought he captured this man before - who traps people into this life-or-death game and has the world watching them, placing bets debating who should be next. Of course, considering Leonard put him behind bars, he would be the first to go after now that Nero’s out. “Bones!” Jim calls out so suddenly Leonard nearly jumps, though his voice is such a relief. “Jim,” Leonard sighs a little breathlessly when the other approaches him, “careful.” “I swear to God, I’m away for one night and you get a bomb strapped to your neck,” Jim says, slowing down once he gets closer to the park bench Leonard’s sitting on, “can’t leave you alone for two seconds. Who’d you piss off this time?” “Nero,” Leonard says, “his real name, it’s all in the files in the precinct. I locked him up before.” “Clearly didn’t do a good job at that,” Jim replies, “let me have a look.” “Jim, you have to get to a safe distance.” “Let me have a look,” Jim repeats. “Jim,” Leonard insists, “I only have two minutes left.” “Exactly,” Jim says, “let me have a look.” 
  • It doesn’t help that Leonard’s fingers are pretty much shaking by now. He never particularly feared death before, but this is different. It feels like he has someone in his life again - which takes away that otherwise sacrificial behavior he had before. “Jim,” Leonard says when there’s less than 30 seconds left, “you should go.” “No,” Jim says, his fingers still working on the bomb, “it’s you and me, Bones. ‘til the end.”
  • When Jim pulls the bomb off and stops the timer, Leonard isn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, or both. Jim reaches out and cups Leonard’s cheeks. “Are you okay?” he asks, and Leonard nods. Jim tilts Leonard’s head just lightly, examining the wound on his head. “What took you so long to show up here, huh?” Leonard says, and Jim laughs, leaning in to press a kiss to Leonard’s lips.
  • Little do they know the consequences of that display of affection, though. It isn’t exactly allowed to be in an actual relationship with androids. But Jim is different. Jim has a soul. It’s consensual, he doesn’t get treated like a second class citizen, Leonard thinks. But he is, and Leonard receives a less-than-friendly talking to about this at work. It’s not that his captain really cares, but the law is the law. To make matters even worse, Jim is quietly doing research with  Leonard on Nero’s whereabouts when a few colleagues pass by and both catch them bad-talking the recorded events of just the day before. Leonard visibly tenses, but Jim rests his hand on Leonard’s shoulder. “Don’t,” he warns him, “not worth it.” “You always let a robot tell you what to do?” one of the agents says, and Leonard grits his teeth. He could have shrugged it off on any other day, but he hasn’t closed an eye last night because he nearly died, and now this guy is giving him shit. So before Jim can stop him, Leonard’s in front of the guy and punches him in the face.
  • It doesn’t end well. Leonard gets suspended, Jim is permanently reassigned to a different agent. "What is wrong with you?“ Jim insists when he comes home. “Nothing,” Leonard replies. “Bones, your pulse is racing, you’re clearly angry. You punched a fellow cop in the face-” “He was disrespectful to you,” Leonard interrupts. Jim sighs, sitting down next to the other. “You smell like alcohol,” he says, and Leonard shrugs. “Bones,” Jim continues, reaching out to cup Leonard’s cheek and tilting his head to make the other face him, “who cares what the other detectives think? You’re a good agent, you’re wasting your own time and that of potential victims when you’re sitting here doing nothing. I don’t care about being treated like a ‘second class citizen’, I don’t.” “How can you not care?” Leonard asks, and now it’s Jim’s time to shrug. “I don’t know any better.” “That’s just wrong,” Leonard says, and Jim smiles. “That’s coming from the one who told me he’s not attracted to ”robots“ and prefers his partners alive.” Leonard huffs, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to Jim’s lips. A little drunkenly so, but soft none the less. Jim slowly pulls away. “You gonna admit you behave this way because you didn’t close an eye last night? You almost died. Not being able to sleep is normal, just admit you’re scared.” Leonard rolls his eyes at that, pushing Jim further away. “Never.”
  • Jim works with agent Sulu now. Leonard’s not very close with him, but Sulu treats Jim with respect and Leonard follows their case from a distance - quietly pleased when they rescue a group of kids being taken hostage. Leonard’s bored out of his mind all by himself, though. He needs to have something to do, and so he goes back looking for Nero. First he just checks those streaming websites he’s used before, and then he gets Spock to try and track him down. “I can help,” Uhura says, and Leonard raises an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you be with Pike?” “I rather work here,” Uhura replies, before throwing him a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry you got suspended.” “Yeah, well,” Leonard starts, but in lieu for an actual answer, he just shuts up and glances at the computer screen. Just by touching the tablet, Uhura downloads all of Leonard’s findings to her own hard drive, and Leonard and Spock mostly just quietly wait while she works. “You keeping more pretty ladies in this basement, or what?” Leonard asks, and Spock raises an eyebrow. “Uhura wants to be here. At least I don’t boast my illegal relationship to the public by showing public display of affection while my own potential death is being livestreamed.” “You watched that video, huh?” “Leonard, the whole country’s watched that video.” “Strange,” Uhura says, and that brings both boys’ attention back to her, “I’m tracking all the CCTV in the city, but the only potential match I get is currently in the precinct.” Leonard frowns, instantly reaching out for his jacket. “He’s after Jim.”
  • He’s not after Jim. Jim’s just an insignificant android, after all. Leonard finds out that, instead, he’s after the whole precinct. By the time he arrives, all the doors of the precinct are locked and barricaded, and all the police men and women are trapped inside with a ticking time bomb. “Jim,” Leonard says through his phone when the other picks up, “what’s happening in there?” “People tried to disable the bomb, but whoever touches it gets electrocuted. I’m not sure what to do, Leonard.” “I’m going to find Nero. In the meantime, try and find a way to disable the electricity. Make sure no one else gets hurt.” “Be careful,” Jim says, and Leonard smiles. “You too.”
  • He does find Nero nearby. He’s always within earshot of the crime scene and this time isn’t really any different. Leonard struggles to overpower him, but he manages.  A gun pointed to the back of Nero’s head isn’t enough to actually disable the bomb, but after Leonard shoots both his legs and leaves him unable to run, he’s ready to comply. He releases the barricades that keeps his colleagues trapped inside, and it allows them to flee outside while actual bomb disposal experts manage to diffuse the thing.
  • Jim doesn’t even care about the law when he sees Leonard again. He pulls him into a tight hug, and Leonard is happy to accept that. “You okay?” Leonard asks, reaching out to run his fingers through Jim’s hair, and Jim nods. “I’m fine. Most people are fine. What about Nero?” “He’s going back to prison. For a long time, this time.” Leonard says. 
  • “You saved a lot of lives today, McCoy,” his captain says, and Leonard shrugs lightly. “Just doing my job.” “No,” she replies, “not your job, because I had to suspend you.” “I understand why you had to,” Leonard says, “I’m not asking for my job back, I just-” “Tough,” she replies, “I expect you in the office on Monday.” She smiles, and so does Leonard. “I’m… assuming I’m going to be assigned an MX, then?” “No, I think Jim’s good for you,” she says, “I won’t say anything if you don’t.”
  • “Were you scared?” Jim asks when they’re at home. “Of what? You dying? Please, I was hoping for some peace and quiet,” Leonard says, and Jim laughs. “I know that’s not true, because the last time that happened you literally found my maker to bring me back.” Jim sits down next to him, slowly sliding an arm around the other’s waist. “Not a teeny, tiny bit inside of you was worried about losing me?” He continues, and Leonard smiles almost fondly, reaching out to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I’m not nearly as afraid of losing you in a work related accident, as I am afraid of losing you because of these backwards laws,” Leonard finally admits. Jim reaches out, the hand on his waist running through Leonard’s always-messy (these days, anyway) hair. “We won’t let that happen.”
How Shimadas Handle Being Interrogated
  • Genji: HE DID IT! HE DID IT HES THE ONE YOU WANT! Look I was just sitting at home, watching cartoons playing video games with Hana, and he walked in there!
  • Hanzo: Genji...!
  • Genji: Hey I am not going to jail for you or anyone else! I have done nothing wrong my entire life! Hey I'm still a virgin.
  • Officer: (pushes him back down)
  • Genji: Okay so maybe I downloaded a couple thousand songs off the internet but hey who hasn't?! Who hasn't?!
  • Hanzo: GENJI SHUT UP!
  • Genji: NO YOU SHUT UP! DONT TALK TO ME!! DON'T TALK TO ME CRIMINAL!!!!
  • Hanzo: ...
  • Officer: .....
  • Genji: ...Oh caffeine rush...