i just don't want to miss you tonight

anonymous asked:

Hey friend!! I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH AND YOURE SO TALENTED OM MY GOSH. Could you do one with Josh or Tyler where the reader and Tyler/Josh fight and don't talk for a long time (days) and then one of them breaks down. So like angst but then fluffy?!! HOPE YOU SMILED TODAY :))


“Hey,” you say into your phone, “I’m just walking home from work right now.  I haven’t heard from you in a couple days and I guess I just realized that I couldn’t remember what city you were in tonight.  Newark?  Maybe Toronto, I don’t know— wherever you are… it’s far.  And I just wanted to say I miss you.” You take a deep gulp before continuing, “Anyway, hope the tour’s good, call me if you get a chance.  Love you.”

With heavy fingers, you hang up the phone before returning it to your back pocket.  You were hoping to catch Tyler before he and Josh went on stage tonight, but he was obviously occupied with other things.  What those other things were, you had no idea.  Tyler had been increasingly distant since his new tour started two weeks ago.  Other than a couple of phone calls and a few returned texts, you’d barely heard from him.  

In your head, you liked to think that you and Tyler were solid.  You’d been together for seven years now.  You survived the years and years of him and Josh just trying to make it through.  You survived the endless nights of gigs in the same venues where the same handful of people would show up.  Then, you survived the sudden spike in popularity of his band, and the chaos and madness that came with it.  You survived the months and months of him being on the road, sometimes time zones away.  And yet, every single time he left, you still got this dreadful feeling in the pit of your stomach that scared the hell out of you.   Because the more times Tyler left, the more you were able to realize that this gig wasn’t short term.  He was in this band for the long haul and life as you knew it when you first met and fell in love with Tyler, had changed.

You held on to the concept that after this tour, Tyler and Josh would have a little break.  At least six months was what Tyler had anticipated before they went on the road again.  That would give you and him time… much needed time… to rekindle your relationship and make your image of your solid relationship a reality again.  

The concept of a long-distance relationship weighed heavy on your shoulders the rest of the way home.  You tried distracting yourself, thinking about what you were going to make for dinner instead, but it was no use.  Your problems with Tyler pushed their way to the forefront of your brain with force and power, clouding your mind.  

In fact, you were so distracted with your thoughts that you barely even heard the music coming from inside your supposed-to-be-empty-apartment.  

You stop dead in your tracks, your mind wheeling back to reality as you’re faced with the situation at hand.  You hesitated slightly, your heart beating loudly in your chest before opening the door slightly.  You recognized the sound as Tyler’s record player.  

As you stepped inside, you immediately smelled something delicious.

“Crap!” you heard someone say.

You jumped at the sound of his voice, but turns towards the kitchen to see a surprised looking Tyler wearing mismatched oven mitts and holding a casserole dish in his hands.

“I thought you were getting out at 6…” he says.

You sincerely hope he puts down that casserole dish because you can’t help but fling yourself in his direction, dropping your bag and jacket in a heap on the floor with tears already welling up in your eyes.  

(Tyler does in fact set the dish down) before you crash your body into his.  You wrap your arms around his neck and let him spin you in a circle before setting you back down.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be home for a week,” you say, smiling widely.  

“We had the night off,” he explains.  

You press your lips to his desperately, trying to make up for the last couple of weeks without him around.  When you finally pull away, there’s a smile plastered over his goofy-looking face.

“I attempted dinner,” he says.  

It’s spaghetti and sauce, which was about the only thing Tyler truly knew how to cook.  You weren’t complaining though.  The mere image of seeing Tyler sitting across the table from you was enough to make you want to eat spaghetti for the rest of the week.  

“So how’s the tour?” you ask, twirling another bundle of noodles together on your fork.

“It’s good,” he says in between bites.  “The venues are insane, I couldn’t believe the size of some of these places, but most are selling out, so it’s all good,” he chuckles.  

You nod as you chew.

“We started recording the new album,” he says.

His words are quite and muffled even more so by the pasta swirling around his mouth.  But it’s loud enough to catch your attention and make you look up from your plate.  He’s refusing to meet your gaze as he focuses on the meal in front of him, but you continue to stare.

“You what?” you ask, keeping your tone as smooth as possible, trying not to let the surprise be evident in your voice.

“Yeah, well I mean just a few songs here and there, but we think it’ll be done soon.”

You shake your head suddenly, putting down your fork and looking Tyler dead on.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand… so you’re going to finish the album up now, then what? Let it sit for a bit?”

“No…” Tyler says, looking equally confused, “We’re going to finish up the album, release it, then tour it… You know the drill.”

“What about the break?” you say, your voice getting more and more heated.  

Tyler sighs heavily before putting his own silverware down.  “Y/N…”

“No-“ you say, emotion starting to flood into your words, “Don’t ‘Y/N’ me… You said that after this tour there’d be a break.  I mean, did you not?”

Tyler sighs, like this entire conversation was becoming a burden.  

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you…”

“I want you to tell me why you said you were taking a break after this tour if you had no intention of doing so.”

Tyler pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly growing irritated as well.

“I never said for sure that there’d be a break, so I don’t know why you’re acting all defensive about this.”

“You did, actually… you said that we just had to make it through this stretch and then you’d be home for a break. Six months with no tour or recording or interviews.  Just a break.”

You could feel yourself becoming riled up.  Of course Tyler knew what he said, but he’d be damned it he ever admitted to being wrong.

“So, what I’m trying to understand is why you would say that if you didn’t mean it—“

“Just because you’re allowed to sit at home constantly doing absolutely nothing doesn’t mean I can!” Tyler snaps, finally looking up.  “Someone’s gotta pay the bills and actually work.  Because this is my job, you know?  I can’t just take six months off whenever I feel like it.”

You look at him with venom in your eyes, but hurt in your heart.  Tyler’s words cut through you like glass, shards of it breaking off and cutting deep.  

“I’ve always dreamed of being successful in this band, and now that that’s actually happening, you can’t stand it.”

“That’s not true—“ you try to interject.  Your voice catches in your throat as you feel tears welling up in your eyes.  

“It is true!” Tyler takes a deep breathe, collecting himself before continuing in a softer tone, “You liked me when I was at the bottom because it made you feel less shitty about yourself. Because then we were both losers.”

His words hang heavy in the air and you hold your breath, refusing to swallow them down.  You thought that if they just lingered then maybe the reality of their context wouldn’t hit you fully.  

But your emotions caught up and you couldn’t hold back the tear that fell silently down your cheek.  

You look at Tyler, sitting across from you.  He looked the same.  Short hair, swallowed eyes, flushed skin.  But he was so different from the person you met eight years ago.  

People change.  That was not a new concept for you.  And they say that people who are in love change together, growing closer and working as a team.  But as you stare across the table at Tyler, his hand pulled into a tight fist, resting on the table, you realized that the two of you had not changed together.  Instead, you’d grown apart.  

You swallowed the lump in your throat and bundled up the napkin that had been resting on your lap before standing up.  His words still stung as you opened your mouth to speak.  Anger, resentment, frustration… all flooded through you.  But hurt was the most prominent emotion… the one that made it’s appearance in your words.

“Good luck on the new album,” is all you can manage to say before your throat caught on the lump you’d tried swallowing earlier.  You collected your purse from the chair near the door before twisting the knob and hurrying out without looking back.  

You made your way down the street, half expecting Tyler to race after you.  But you got further and further from home, and heard no protests or calls of your name, so you continued dreadfully all the way to your friends house across town.

They were warm to welcome you inside, and assured you that you could stay as long as needed.

“He should be gone by morning,” you told them, smiling appreciatively.  “Thanks.”

No texts.  No calls.  

No note when you returned home the next morning.  


He was gone, the apartment looking exactly how you left it, and the gaping hole inside you seemed to grow just a bit bigger.

The days to follow were excruciatingly painful.  Tyler didn’t reach out to you, and you didn’t reach out to him.  Part of you wanted to believe that this was just some horrible fight you two were having, but the logical part of your brain made you wrestle with the fact that this could be the end of your seven-year-relationship.  The final chapter, written specifically with pain and anguish in mind.  

You wanted to call, just to talk and to find out where you both stood in all of this.  The break was your one plan to restore the fire that once burned between the two of you, but now that that was gone out the window, you had no idea where to look for hope.

You always thought of Tyler as being the love of your life.  But maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.  

You didn’t call.  Part of you was still so angry about the words he said.  You were afraid you’d burst into angry, embarrassing tears the minute he picked up the phone.  So you just stayed clear.  You let the silence speak for itself.

The silence did nothing to help the gaping hole inside your chest.

It made it hard to sleep.  On day three, you laid in bed, your arms wrapped around your frame in an attempt to hold yourself together.  But your mind raced for hours about what was going to happen.  Exhaustion finally took over, crashing over you and sweeping you into an uneasy sleep.

You were woken up abruptly in the middle of the night, your clock reading 3:56 a.m., by a loud noise.  You would have thought it was in your dream had it not been for the continuing footsteps that followed the noise.

You sat up in bed, your heart racing at the immediate thought of an intruder in your apartment.  You slipped off from your bed and grabbed the baseball bat Tyler kept hidden under the bed, ready to clock whoever the robber was when the door creaked open.  

You almost screamed as the moonlight coming in from your open shade illuminated Tyler’s sunken face.

“Jesus Christ!” you gasped, dropping the bat and clutching your chest.

“Sorry!” he says quickly, holding his hands up in defense.  “I didn’t mean to scare you…”

“What the hell are you doing here, it’s 4 a.m!  I could have bludgeoned you to death!” you say in your loud-whisper voice.

“I came straight from a show—“ he explains.  “I’m sorry it’s so late, but I had to see you—“ you’re half sure you hear his voice crack.  “It’s like I couldn’t function these last few days.  I left so mad, but once I got out there and started playing, I couldn’t thinking about anything but you.”

You shift your weight from one foot to the other, letting Tyler continue.

“I just kept thinking what if the next time I come home…” this time his voice definitely does crack, “what if— what if the next time I come home, she’s not there?” you hear him break and your chest heaves from the sound of it.  

“I couldn’t stand thinking about coming home and you not being here— I couldn’t stand it, I had to come home.  I had to see you,”  you see his silhouette shaking violently in the doorframe,  tears evident in his voice and you want to run over to him, wrap your arms around him and hold him tight.  But you hesitate.  You’re unsure and afraid and nothing makes sense in your mind right now.

“I said awful things,” he continues, sniffling hard, “Awful things that make me deserve to be alone.  But I didn’t mean any of them.  Not a single one.  I was tired and upset about the fact that our break got postponed again and I knew you’d be mad about it, but there’s nothing I can do— I got locked in without realizing and I just don’t know what to do.”  He pauses, watching your face, and trying to gage a reaction.  “Just tell me.  Tell me what you want from me.  Do you want me to quit?” he asks, his eyes glistening with tears.  “Because I will.  I just, I don’t know how we got here— I don’t know what happened.  We were strong and we talked and now… I just don’t know what happened.  

And I have no idea what to do.  All I know is I want to stay here, right here— with you.  I have the tour and the music but you, you’re all that matters to me.  The other stuff is nothing.  It’s nothing without you.  But I don’t know what to do.  I’m trying to figure it out, but I don’t know— and I just… I need you to tell me what to do, because I don’t know.  I have no fucking idea, I just need you to tell me,” Tyler’s voice is frantic and desperate.  There’s tears running fluidly down his cheeks as he pleads in front of you.  

You can’t help it anymore as your heart breaks in front of him.  You rush over, taking long strides before opening your arms and crashing into him.  He’s still shaking violently, whispering the same phrase over and over, “Please… I need you to tell me, just tell me what to do—“

“Shh,” you whisper, rubbing his back.  

He finally hugs back, wrapping his own arms around you and burying his face in your hair.  You can feel him heaving as he sobbed into your shoulder and you held on tight.  

You’re not sure how long you stay like that, wrapped up in each other, both scared about the future and what it might bring.  It was long enough to make the back of your heels burn from standing there.  It was long enough for your light gray shirt to be stained dark from Tyler’s tears.  It was long enough for his familiar scent to wrap you up and make you feel at home again.  

When you finally untangle, you’re quick to grab back on to Tyler’s hand, desperate to keep touching him for as long as you could.  You led him over to the bed where you both climbed in silently.  As you curled into his side and rested your head on his chest you sighed deeply, feeling exhausted equally mentally as you did physically.  

But Tyler felt like home.  His embrace, his smell, the sound of his voice.  It was all things that made you feel loved and valued and important.  And you knew you’d both changed.  You knew you’d both grown slightly apart.  But this was not how your story was going to end.  This was not the final chapter in your book, because Tyler was still Tyler and you were still you and your love still had some spark left in it.

“We’re gonna make it,” you whisper into the dark room, clutching to the fabric of his cotton shirt.

Tyler squeezes you gently before kissing the top of your head.  “We’re gonna make it,” he repeats.  

The promise was sincere and bursting with love.  It caught the spark.  Your love would continue burning.  

MarkHyuck phone call..
  • Mark: Hey, are u sleeping already?
  • Donghyuck: what do you think?
  • Mark: Sorry to disturb you. I shouldn't call right now.
  • Donghyuck: Straight to the point Mark Lee.
  • Mark: Nothing. I'm just bored.
  • Donghyuck: There's no way you're getting bored. You got new friends there. You look so happy whenever you're with them.
  • Mark: .....it's different, I think? I'm enjoying myself rapping with them but it's different. I can't explain it.
  • Donghyuck: It's because you're doing something you love the most. Adrenaline rush, I think.
  • Mark: No. That's not the reason, Hyuck.
  • Donghyuck: I think you're just tired. You're going back late again today?
  • Mark: ......maybe? I don't know. They going to do more shooting for editing, so I don't know at what time we're going to finish.
  • Donghyuck: I'll be waiting for you in my dreamland by the time you come home.
  • Mark: .....
  • Donghyuck: ......
  • Mark: You should go to sleep now.
  • Donghyuck: Don't you think you need to tell me why are you calling me at the first place?
  • Mark: ......
  • Donghyuck: Are you planning to keep silent until tomorrow? If you don't have anything to tell me then..good night.
  • Mark: I miss you...
  • Donghyuck: ....yah, what's wrong with you?
  • Mark: I don't know. I'm just tired and your face come into my mind. The next things I know, I'm talking with you right now. Maybe I just want to hear you voice.
  • Donghyuck: You must be so tired right now. *blush*
  • Mark: But I really miss you! I meant it!
  • Donghyuck: I know, idiot! And we just met each other few hours ago.
  • Mark: I know. That's why I don't understand why I felt like this. I just..miss you suddenly. I miss you being noisy, annoying and talking non-stop beside me.
  • Donghyuck: Woah, Mark. Should I feel great right now? I can't believe you called me in the middle of the night just to diss about me? I feel happy. Thank you..take it take it take it!
  • Mark: *laugh*
  • Donghyuck: Don't you think you should continue your shooting right now? Because I need my beauty sleep.
  • Mark: Are you going to wait for me later?
  • Donghyuck: It's 12Am. I don't think I can..
  • Mark: Ah..okay. *disappointed* I should go now. Good night pretty Hyuck, have a nice sleep. Dream of me.
  • Donghyuck: Shut up, Mark Lee. I don't think I want to have nightmare tonight.
  • Mark: Bye~miss you.
  • Donghyuck: Geez~~bye
  • At 3Am
  • Mark: Hey, Hyuck. Wake up. Why are you sleeping in the living room? I thought you want to have beauty sleep. Why are you sitting in the dark here?
  • Donghyuck: I thought you want me to wait for you. I fell asleep just now.
  • Mark: *shocked*
  • Donghyuck: Why are looking at me like that? Lets go to our room. I'm sleepy! Gosh its already 3AM!
  • Mark: *hug Donghyuck* I miss you!!
  • Donghyuck: Damn it Mark Lee! Lemme go!
  • Mark: *kiss Donghyuck's lips*
  • Mark: Sorry making you waiting for me but I am so happy right now.
  • Donghyuck: Did you just kissed me?!
  • Mark: Yeah. Why? I can't kiss my boy?
  • Donghyuck: Who the heck give you permission to kiss me?! When the heck I've become your boy?! You're not allowed to be the cool one here!!
  • Mark: *rolled eyes and dragged Donghyuck to their shared room*
  • Mark: Sleep with me..
  • Donghyuck: I said, you're not allowed to be cool right now!
  • Mark: I know. Lets sleep.
  • Donghyuck: I hate you Mark Lee.
  • Mark: I know.
  • Donghyuck: I miss you too. *blushed & covered his face on Mark's chest*
  • Mark: I miss you more Lee Donghyuck.
  • Donghyuck: By the way, I don't like it you being close with other kids especially that Yoonho guy.
  • Mark: I'm all yours. You know that..
  • Donghyuck: Shut up. *smile cutely*
  • Magnus: And I'd give up forever to touch you
  • 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
  • You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
  • And I don't want to go home right now
  • Alec: And all I can taste is this moment
  • And all I can breathe is your life
  • And sooner or later it's over
  • I just don't wanna miss you tonight
  • Magnus and Alec: *kisses passionately*
  • Jace: *eating a bowl of cereals* Damn man!
  • Go get a room. I'm having breakfast!
  • Simon, Clary, Isabelle: AWWWWWW

anonymous asked:

Are you closing your anon asks or just your blog, period? I understand you want and NEED to but man oh man. We are gonna miss you. I hope you don't delete your blog! Hopefully after some peace and quiet and some ease from everyone and everything, things die down and you can come back! We rallied for Jess and we'll rally for you too! You girls are too important to this group-whether you ship or not is irrelevant-and we don't want you to leave forever :-(

oh goodness I didn’t mean to scare everyone. I’m not leaving!!! After tonight, I’m going back to how it’s been the last couple days - inbox closed and blog is private (meaning you can only see it if you have a tumblr account). I think that will change slowly but I don’t want to say when because I genuinely don’t know and I don’t wanna put any pressure on myself. I hope I can come back too, believe me! so not leaving, just being quiet for a bit :)

Your Heartbreak Quote (Post-Breakup)

☼D A N I E L☼:
Just because I let you go, doesn’t mean I wanted to.

↠J O N A H↞:
Missing you comes in waves; tonight I’m drowning.

⍟Z A C H⍟:
I acted like it wasn’t a big deal, when it was really breaking me apart.

◇C O R B Y N◇:
Of course I loved him; you don’t give people you don’t love the power to destroy you.

☾J A C K☾:
That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart’s broken - it’s like all the butterflies just died.

prompt: #3 “Please, don’t leave.”
pairing: destiel
tags: rich!cas, established, kinda hs au, fluff,

for @goodtidingsdean

drabble night!

“Please, don’t leave.”

It’s the first thing Dean says after they’d left that morning. Castiel looks up from the thing Charlie is showing him on her phone and looks at Dean.  

If he could, Dean’d disappear right now. He realizes how stupid it must’ve sounded, especially because he knows Cas has to go, plus the fact that he’s seventeen, not twelve. Benny, Meg and Charlie, who came to say goodbye to Cas as well, are all looking at Dean.

Cas smiles softly and looks at the bag in Dean’s hands. It’s Cas’s, Dean had silently insisted on carrying them all the way to through the endless halls of the airport.

Gabriel, Castiel’s younger brother, jumps around in the empty hallway excitedly. Michael is looking at his younger brother with distaste, fiddling with his tie and passive-aggressively ignoring Balthazar, who’s giving Samandriel a piggyback ride. Dean doesn’t really care, he’s just staring at Castiel and wishing he wouldn’t have opened his mouth.

Keep reading

I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece
I’m complete.
Let’s go all the way tonight. No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

- Teenage Dream

A little birdy told me it was pride month and I wanted to draw something for it.
Now everyone will know my girlfriend and I’s gayness

Please do not edit/re-upload on other sites without proper credit & source.

11:11 pm. You always used to fall asleep early. That must be really nice and all, but while you are sleeping, my chest is aching. All I can think about is how rough these past couple weeks have been and how I can see myself crashing into your arms. I can see us refusing to let go because we already did it once and it hurt us both so badly. The thing is though I’m pretty sure I’m the only one hurting. So what’s my wish? I wish that you dream of me tonight. I wish for the words “I really missed you” to come out of your mouth and I want you to really mean it this time.
—  I’m about to burst but if I tell you, I’m afraid that I will push you even further away than I already have.
I don’t know if I can see you tonight.
I mean I want to,
I always want to,
But tonight I feel like when I do I may cry.
Because when I reach out to touch you,
All I feel is a cold screen.
And you’re trapped inside it.
All I want to do right now is hug you.
Throw my arms around you,
And lay my head on your chest.
But I’m taunted,
Constantly taunted,
Because my love,
My hon,
My heart,
I can see him,
But he’s miles away.
And I can’t bare the thought of it tonight.
I don’t want to have to say good bye,
I don’t want us to end with good night.
I’m not ready for the moment the screen goes black,
And I have to be alone again.
I just want you with me,
—  B.M., NeverOnLand
  • I can't help but love you
  • I can't help but want you
  • Stay with me a little longer
  • I can’t help but be wrong in the dark
  • You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece
  • You taught me the courage of stars before you left
  • It's not us no more. It's just you and me.
  • We're just strangers in passing casually
  • I don’t want to go to bed without you.
  • Why should we wait forever? We’re meant to be together.
  • You don’t remember my name. But I still want you the same.
  • I got a text from my ex, it’s official she just broke my heart.
  • I’ve got a song in my heart and I’m bulletproof
  • There’s nothing in the world that’s gonna kill this mood
  • I went to see a fortune teller and she said I’m doomed
  • You're an angel. Tell me you're never leaving.
  • You made the brightest days from the darkest nights.
  • I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink
  • But now I'm insecure and I care what people think
  • Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days
  • Deep down, I knew that you were too good to be true
  • But every piece and part of me wanted to believe in you
  • We can't be lovers and we can't be friends
  • It fuckin' kills me that we're done
  • And if you wait for me, I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say
  • Ain't nobody ever seen nothin' like you
  • But with you I'm feeling something that makes me want to stay
  • I'm prepared for this. I never shoot to miss.
  • I guess that's just how it goes when you break up in a small town
  • One shot, everything rides on tonight
  • Hope the wound heals but it never does
  • These battle scars don't look like they're fading
  • I wish that I could stop loving you so much
  • And I'm at the point of breaking and it's impossible to shake it
  • I don't know where the lights are taking us .But something in the night is dangerous
  • It's never enough to say I'm sorry
  • It's never enough to say I care
  • It's like one step forward and two steps back
  • No matter what I do you're always mad
The Music Man {Sentence Starters}
  • "Never allow the demands of tomorrow to interfere with the pleasure and excitement of today."
  • "I rant and I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save."
  • "You watch your phrasology!"
  • "I'll do it, but I don't like it."
  • "Your daughter and I have been going steady behind your back."
  • "I'm having a party on Saturday. I'd like it if you could come."
  • "You mean you live in this town?"
  • "I know all about your standards."
  • "Don't believe I caught your name."
  • "A man can't turn tail and run just because a little personal risk is involved."
  • "No, please, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow."
  • "It's as clear as a buttonhook in the well water!"
  • "That was pretty good, but you made a couple of mistakes."
  • "Its fine if you want to go around in your drawers all day."
  • "I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering."
  • "The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me."
  • "I can't believe I almost missed this opportunity!"
Reversing the sentence order.



Goodbye. I am here.

I should be paying attention in class. Anyways, you are on my mind.

Somewhere. I am allowing this weight to carry me – carry you. This is not my attempt to take you further down with me; I am allowing the unexplored spaces a chance to be beautiful. You and I could find it and tell no one.

There is treasure at the bottom of the ocean. Could we find function on a verticle ship? Can we move together?

Your weight and my weight. Maybe our collision was meant to alter the universe. The potential energy beneath my toes is predicting destruction. My legs are not still.

The world would tilt like a sinking ship if I ran straight to you. We both keep some semblance of balance on the sides of the world where we walk on tip-toes.

I think often about adding your weight to my weight. You belong here. You are not here.

I can stand outside and feel all the spaces I am not filling. There is so much snow. Today is beautiful.

How are you?


My Darling.

Keep reading

  • You: *eating your lunch in the cafeteria*
  • Teacher: Hey, I couldn't help but notice that you're eating your lunch there.
  • You: ...um, okay?
  • Teacher: Well, that's an awful lot of food you have there.
  • You: Yeah I'm pretty hungry today.
  • Teacher: Well next time could you maybe bring a little less food? It's just that some people might get hungry by looking at all that food you're eating, and they might get distracted and not be able to concentrate.
  • You: ...you're saying people aren't going to be able to concentrate in class because I'm eating my lunch?
  • Teacher: It is an awful lot of food, you know, it's not really appropriate, because some people aren't used to seeing so much food. So maybe tomorrow you could bring a smaller lunch? Or you could go home and take some of it with you so that people don't have to see you eating all of it here.
  • You: But I'm really hungry today. I didn't get to eat breakfast and I'm going to be late home tonight so I'm probably going to miss dinner. If I don't eat my lunch today I won't be able to do schoolwork because I'll feel ill.
  • Teacher: I know but other people might see it and want to eat your food, and then they won't be able to concentrate. It's pretty distracting and to be honest, it doesn't really make a good impression of yourself. You don't want everyone thinking you're greedy, do you?
  • You: What?! Why can't you just tell other people to mind their own business? I'm not doing anything wrong here, and it's not my fault if other people get distracted by something as innocuous as me eating my lunch. Why don't you tell other people just to control their urges, or just stop looking at me in that way?
  • Teacher: You know you're really not setting a good example here. I think you should go see the headteacher. And tomorrow, bring a smaller lunch.
  • You: ..........!
  • Does this sound ridiculous? Of course it does. Now imagine the same scenario where a girl is wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top because it's hot. Instead of being asked to bring less food, she's being asked to wear clothes that aren't as revealing, because other people might get 'hungry'.
  • It's stupid, isn't it?

just imagine a world where books and cats are readily available and rain falls on the roof, not your head, and there’s a fire and a blanket and anyone you want to sit with in the world just waiting for you, ready and excited to see you

A 1x13 Morning After Coda

Oliver squints against the morning sun and turns back into the pillow, away from the light. He clings to the last dregs of sleep but knows it’s a losing battle and eventually pushes himself up. He sits on his bed, pillows and blankets piled around, and lets his head fall in his hands with a groan. His entire body aches and his head is pounding. He didn’t think he’d had that much last night but maybe this is just another one of the amazing things he gets to look forward to now that he’s getting older. Hangovers that are extra horrific to go with those gray hairs he found last week. Whoop-de-freaking-do.

Throwing off the sheets and comforter tangled around this legs, Oliver heads into the bathroom. After taking care of things, he peels the dry contacts out of his eyes, washes his face, and starts brushing his teeth. The routine helps him feel a little better, a little more human, and gives him a chance to replay last night in his head.

Meeting Connor’s friends had been wonderful. They were all so nice and fun and Connor was nice and fun around them. And Oliver and Connor got to be nice and fun together around them. He had actually been a little surprised how easy they were around Connor’s friends. Meeting the friends always creates some hiccups but there really hadn’t been any last night. They had just been themselves. It had been almost like they were real boyfriends.


Why is that word reminding him of something last night and oh no!

Toothpaste on his chin, toothbrush poised midair, Oliver looks up to see his own panicked expression in the mirror.

No. We’ve waited long enough. I wanna be boyfriends again. 

I wanna be boyfriends again.

Boyfriends again.



He wipes the toothpaste off his chin and rinses his mouth, trying to remember what else had been said in his drunken, handsy, filter-less state. Connor had said something. Something about Oliver getting sober and sleeping and…and what? There was something else. Something more. Connor had said something else and what was it? Then Oliver remembers what he’d breathed out as he fell asleep.

I love you.

Did he really say that? Oliver turns away from the mirror to lean back against the sink and presses a hand over his mouth. Did he really tell Connor he wanted to be boyfriends and that he loved him? Really! That’s really what happened last night. Then and there, Oliver decides he’s never drinking again. 

This is a disaster. He can’t believe he screwed this up so bad. Connor is going to freak out. Connor’s going to freak and he’s going to leave and Oliver ruined everything. Again!

He was drunk. If Connor brings it up he’ll just say he was drunk and play it off like it isn’t a big deal. Because it isn’t a big deal. Drunk people say and do stupid things all the time. It’s not important. It’s not like Oliver meant it or anything.

Except he did. He really, really did.

Oliver lets his head fall into his hands again and just wishes he could go back to bed.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Connor says, peeking into the bathroom. “Here, I come bearing gifts.” He holds out a glass of water and some aspirin, which Oliver happily downs. “So, how you feeling?”

Oliver gives him a look and puts the glass down on the sink. “I’ve been better.”

“Well, I figured as much.” Connor leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms. “But really, how you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” Oliver shrugs. What does Connor want with this? “Head hurts. Don’t feel up for running any marathons.”

Connor hums in sympathy. “But, on the whole, you feeling okay? Or—I don’t know—sober?”

With that, Oliver remembers. I want this and you. I really do…when you’re sober. He locks eyes with Connor and sees more than he ever hoped for. “Painfully sober.”

Connor pushes off the doorframe and crowds Oliver back against the sink. He takes Oliver’s hips in his hands and pulls him close. He leans in until their lips are almost touching and breathes out, “Good.”

Signs As My Favorite FOB Lyrics
  • Aries: "In the end everything collides, My childhood, Spat back out the monster that you see" (My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark)
  • Taurus: "I'm just a notch in your bedpost, But you're just a line in a song" (Sugar We're Going Down)
  • Gemini: "I don't care what you think as long as it's about me, The best of us can find happiness in misery" (I Don't Care)
  • Cancer: "Head like a steel trap, I wish I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I don't just want to be a footnote in someone else's happiness" (Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet)
  • Leo: "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of it, I just got too lonely, Lonely whoa, And in between being young and being right, You were my Versailles at night" (Fourth Of July)
  • Virgo: "I will sing to you every day, If it will take away the pain, Oh and I've heard you got it got it so bad, Cause I am the best you'll never have" (Miss Missing You)
  • Libra: "She's in a long black coat tonight, Waiting for me in the downpour outside, She's singing 'Baby Come Home' in a melody of tears while the rhythm of the rain keeps time" (Jet Pack Blues)
  • Scorpio: Stomp out this disaster town, You'll put your eyes to the sun and say I know, You're only blinding to keep back what the clouds are hiding" (The Carpal Tunnel Of Love)
  • Sagittarius: "But we are alive, Here in death valley, But don't take love off the table yet, Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you" (Death Valley)
  • Capricorn: "I am an arms dealer, Fitting you with weapons in the form of words, And I don't really care which side wins, As long as the room keeps singing, That's just the business I'm in" (This Aint A Scene, It's An Arms Race)
  • Aquarius: "They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers, In hotel rooms collecting page six lovers" (Thnks Fr Th Mmrs)
  • Pisces: "You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start, So dance alone to the beat of your heart" (The Phoenix)
  • good friend: whats up
  • me: Making my way downtown
  • Walking fast
  • Faces pass
  • And I'm home bound
  • Staring blankly ahead
  • Just making my way
  • Making a way
  • Through the crowd
  • And I need you
  • And I miss you
  • And now I wonder....
  • If I could fall
  • Into the sky
  • Do you think time
  • Would pass me by
  • 'Cause you know I'd walk
  • A thousand miles
  • If I could
  • Just see you
  • Tonight
  • It's always times like these
  • When I think of you
  • And I wonder
  • If you ever
  • Think of me
  • 'Cause everything's so wrong
  • And I don't belong
  • Living in your
  • Precious memory
  • 'Cause I need you
  • And I miss you
  • And now I wonder....
  • If I could fall
  • Into the sky
  • Do you think time
  • Would pass me by
  • 'Cause you know I'd walk
  • A thousand miles
  • If I could
  • Just see you
  • Tonight
  • And I, I
  • Don't want to let you know
  • I, I
  • Drown in your memory
  • I, I
  • Don't want to let this go
  • I, I
  • Don't....
  • Making my way downtown
  • Walking fast
  • Faces pass
  • And I'm home bound
  • Staring blankly ahead
  • Just making my way
  • Making a way
  • Through the crowd
  • And I still need you
  • And I still miss you
  • And now I wonder....
  • If I could fall
  • Into the sky
  • Do you think time
  • Would pass us by
  • 'Cause you know I'd walk
  • A thousand miles
  • If I could
  • Just see you...
  • If I could fall
  • Into the sky
  • Do you think time
  • Would pass me by
  • 'Cause you know I'd walk
  • A thousand miles
  • If I could
  • Just see you
  • If I could
  • Just hold you
  • Tonight