i just don't know what to do with myself pt. 2

5

I Don’t Mean It Pt 5

Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

After dinner and with what Taehyung said, you were heartbroken. You believed his words, although you knew he would sometimes say things he didn’t mean when he was upset. But you knew inside that this time was different. He wasn’t going to ask for forgiveness this time around.

Did he even consider you his friend this entire time? Did any of them consider you a friend? Or were they really only nice because you had information about them. You loved each of them dearly, always wanting the best of them. Ever since they moved in next door, your life had changed for the better. You had always had a special place in your heart for Taehyung too. The way he made you feel when you were with him was indescribable. 

But it seems that all of it was a lie. 

“If he wants me out of his life, then that’s what I’ll give him” you say silently to yourself.


The award show season came and went by in a flash. And for some reason, Tae was itching to text you to tell you all about it. About how happy he was for winning awards. About how he wished you were there to celebrate with them.

But he dismissed any of those feelings and replaced them with his anger. He saw the other boys call and tell you the good news, but he kept his distance, not wanting to ruin their fun. 

A few weeks prior, the group’s manager came up to Taehyung regarding an article that a reporter was going to publish. Within the article was a detailed description of all the places Taehyung frequented in secret as to avoid the eyes of the public. In this article was a detailed description of all the small things that not many people knew about. 

Tae was of surprised. Where had this reporter gotten all this information? His manager had said that he had gotten this information from you when he found out that you both were neighbors. He said that you had received a sum of money for the information. Thankfully his manager had “stopped the article from being published” but he scolded Taehyung for being close with just some girl.

And with that, Taehyung was fuming. He swore never to tell you anything ever again and to have you out of his life. But a voice inside him told him otherwise and he couldn’t push you out completely. He still couldn’t. And he still didn’t tell the other guys yet because he knew it would have only distracted them.


A/N: I think I’m going to end part 5 here for now. I wanted to make this longer, but I’m going to hold myself back and keep it for part 6. What do you think is going to happen? Who wants a part 6? Let me know!! I also want to thank you all for the support once again. And thank you for understanding for when I didn’t post last night! 

soul-rin-natsu  asked:

Can you recommend any klance fics?.

I can definitely recommend lots of klance fics. As in, lots lots. I am not completely sure what you are looking for/what you have already read though, so I’m just gonna list some of my favorite authors with some of my favorite fics. 

Quick additional info: there are no explicit fics on here, though some are rated mature. All of the stories have klance as their only ship but since I intended this to be author recs rather than fic recs, I will mention what kinds of other ships appear in other fics. 

Now then, here you go, in no particular order:

manamune

- Crossroads (106k): not quite canon verse, not quite AU - check the summary

- Plunged (6k): canon verse, Lance teaches Keith how to swim

Roommates (6k): modern AU, Artist!Keith, Photographer!Lance, exactly what the title says

This author’s writing is amazingly smooth and I particularly enjoy their Keith. Crossroads was my favorite fic for a long, long time until I found some others that were just as good :D [this author also wrote some nsfw and sheith]

magisterpavus 

- He Who Fights Monsters (65k): AU, there are dragons

This author has a style of writing that makes you forget that time exists. Like, you read their stories, look up 2 hours later and go “what the hell I only just started reading 5 minutes ago”. Their fics are pretty action-heavy but the romance part never falls short. [they wrote a lot of nsfw, their newest fic is shklance]

mackerelmademedoit

- Entangled (102k): canon verse, Keith and Lance get mind-melded

- Right-hand Man (4k): canon verse, Keith approaches Lance after the end of season 2 to talk about their roles from now on

Amazing characterizations here. I particularly enjoyed the OS because it seemed like something that genuinely could happen like this in canon… sadly I don’t think it will, but one can dream, right :’D Also amazing art! [they wrote some nsfw]

redburn

- it had to be you (9k): modern AU, Keith and Lance are professors, lots of flirting

- Echoes In Your Mind (7k): canon verse, Keith is turning Galra

- let the whole world know (4k): modern AU, soulmates AU

I honestly don’t know why I like this author so much? Probably because they can squeeze an entire story into less than 10k words, complete with character development and appearances from friends etc. I liked many more of their OS but there are just so many, you should check it out for yourself. [they wrote some nsfw and shallura]

varelsen

- Not That Bad (68k): modern AU, socially anxious!Keith, lots and lots of fluff

- just like that (10k): canon verse, Lance struggles with his crush on Keith

this author just? makes reading feel so good? so relaxing?? Their style is focused on conveying emotions and flows really nicely, I strongly recommend to give it a try. [their newest story is nsfw and includes lancelot]

battleshidge (Amiria_Raven)

- Drive Me Crazy (8k): modern AU, lots of flirting and stupid pick-up lines

- Next Level (33k; WIP): modern AU, online gaming, they know each other but they don’t know that they know each other

The style of writing is really, really good and I love how everyone’s friendships get portrayed. The author is also pretty good at writing conflicted emotions. [they wrote some shallura and shidge]

aknightley

- it’s all in my head (8k): canon verse, mind meld

This author is super good with emotions. You always end up feeling what the characters are feeling and I’d definitely recommend going through their other fics as well - once again, there are just so many that I won’t list them all. [they wrote some nsfw and shallura]

lemoninagin

- You Can Fog Up My Windows Anytime (3k): modern AU, all the awkward flirting

Another author that has a fantastic style of writing and portrays the characters really well. Also another author that wrote so many good things that I can’t possibly put them all on here. [they wrote some nsfw, sheith, shklance, shallura- lots of stuff, check the tags]

MilkTeaMiku

- Moonset Deep (50k, WIP): mermaid AU, lance is the mermaid

- The Quiet (40k, WIP): ghost AU, lance is the ghost

- 7 Days Series (pt 1 - 30k, pt 2 - 30k, pt 3 - 4k): canon verse, lance/keith get turned into babies

Amazing writing, plot-orientated. Don’t let that fool you though, the emotions never fall short. [they wrote some shallura, shance and other ships - also their fics aren’t rated. the ones listed are entirely sfw]

Zizzani

- Drive It Like You Mean It (94k): modern AU, street racing AU, it gets pretty intense later

This writer has a really fluent and nice style of writing and they somehow manage to easily let lots of characters interact. Everyone feels extremely in character and nothing feels forced. Also I know nothing about cars and yet their fics belong to my favorites, so give it a try. [they wrote some shallura]

shipstiel

- Of Don Juan And Elvis (3k): modern AU, soulmate AU

- Barbie Girl (2k): modern AU, soulmate AU, continuation

I’m not sure whether it’s just me but no matter what fic of them I read, they always feel– soft. Easy. Something good for in-between. One of their fics (not the ones listed here) has some pretty heavy topics in it and yet I still feel like that. [they wrote some shallura]

Gigapoodle

- A Moment in the Snow (3k): canon verse, Galra!Keith, snowball fights, fluff

- Carpe Diems and Chrysanthemums (14k): modern AU, hanahaki disease, trans Lance, angst with a happy ending

- A Quarter Past Midnight (14k): canon verse, trans Keith, angst with a happy ending

This author is amazing at writing angst. It just always hits you right in the feels. Like damn. I adore their writing so much but ho boy I was too scared to click the one Chara Death fic they wrote. I couldn’t do that to myself, the two longer OS that I listed here already gave me enough feelings. [they wrote some shallura]

Trashness 

- Nightmares (15k): canon verse, sleeping together, as in snuggling, fluff

- Costumed Identities (42k): modern AU, cosplay AU, they know each other but they don’t know they know each other

This author writes Keith’s and Lance’s interactions really nicely. They also never fail to make me smile/laugh with their fics, they are all really cute!! Lots of light heartened stuff here.

SKayLanphear

- Running Flat (11k): canon verse, thought sharing, lance is trying to figure out who has the crush on him

- A Commutal Contract (24k, WIP): canon verse, bed sharing

I really really really enjoy this author’s Lance!! He feels incredibly in character and I swear I can see him act in canon just like he does in the fics. Their style of writing is fluent, nice and adapts really well to the situation.


[I also really enjoy witty_name’s and freshia’s fics, both of whom usually put background shallura into their fics though so I couldn’t list them here]


Aaaand that’s it for now! :D If you have a specific length/specific topics/specific ratings in mind for what you want to read, feel free to send another message!! You can also visit the fic rec tag on my blog, maybe you’ll find something else there.

/EDIT: now there is a part two with some other of my favorite fics

The sum of every song in Hamilton
  • Alexander Hamilton: it me, ya boy ham
  • Aaron Burr, Sir pt. 1: hey Burr, we're both orphans and I'm really smart and I want to graduate college in 2.6 seconds like you
  • Aaron Burr, Sir pt. 2:
  • HEY ITS ME, YOUR GAY LOVE INTEREST, JOHN LAURENS
  • HEY ITS ME, LAFAYETTE I LOVE AMERICA AND I AM VERY FRENCH
  • HEY ITS ME, HERCULES MULLIGAN AND I HAVE SEX
  • My shot:
  • HECK YAAA BBBOOOOOYSSSSSS WE ABT TO BE APART OF HISTORY
  • The story of tonight: were about to go to war but we have freedom and it's going to be great
  • The Schuyler sisters:
  • ANGELICAAAA (work work) ELiZZA and leggy
  • Farmer refuted:
  • Our boy ham straight up flames our British pal Sammy boy
  • You'll be back: meanwhile
  • , King George III is in Britain and is lying to himself
  • Right hand man:
  • Burr: hey hi hello I exist
  • George washing-machine:
  • Alexandre: general washingmachine you called for me
  • Burr: -,-
  • George washingmachine: HAM YOU'RE HERE BE MY SECRETARY
  • Ham: what no thanks
  • Washingmachine: pls
  • Ham: ok fine
  • A winters ball:
  • The boys: WE ALL LIKE GIRLS
  • Laurens: ,:)
  • Helpless:
  • Ham: hey marry me
  • Eliza: :)ok:)
  • Satisfied:
  • *flashback*
  • Angelica: I like alexandre
  • Eliza: I like alexandre
  • Angelica: oh okay *throws herself out of the window*
  • The story of tonight *reprise*: our boys ham, laurens, Hercules mulligan and Lafayette are really drunk
  • Wait for it: Burr is in politics but has no political opinion and nobody exactly knows what he's waiting for
  • Stay Alive:
  • A ham: daaad commme ooooon let me fiight
  • George washingmachine: ehhhhhhh I don't knooow let's send in lee
  • Charles Lee: IM A GENERAL WHEEEE
  • George washingmachine: that was a mistake
  • Ten duel commandments: Lauren's wants to duel lee because he was being salty towards our favorite dad, George washing machine, and they do and Lee gets shot
  • Meet him inside
  • George washingmachine: wtf ham
  • Alexandre: lee started it
  • George washingmachine: son stop
  • A ham: I AM NOT YOUr SON
  • George washingmachine: go home
  • That would be enough:
  • Alex: Eliza I'm poor
  • Eliza: I know idc lol
  • Alex: :)
  • Guns and ships:
  • *A REALLY FAST RAP BY OUR FAVORITE FRENCH BOY LAYETTE*
  • General washingmachine: hey alexandre pls come back
  • History has its eyes on you:
  • George washingmachine: hey son, if you make any mistakes everyone in the future will probably only focus on that
  • Yorktown:
  • The colonies: HEY WE WON THE WAR
  • What comes next:
  • King George III: haha good luck running a country lol see ya
  • Dear Theodosia:
  • Burr: I had a baby girl she's cute and her name is theodosia
  • Ham: LOOK AT MY SON I HAD A KID LOOK AT HIM HES GREAT I LOVE HIM AND HIS NAME IS PHILIP
  • Non-Stop:
  • Burr: Alexandre why can't you shut up
  • Alexandre: Kay I will
  • *later*
  • Alexandre: look I wrote 51 essays in 2 seconds to defend the US constitution
  • Burr: WHAT
  • What'd I miss:
  • Thomas Jefferson: hey I'm back from France
  • Everyone: TOMMY J HEY YOU'RE BACK
  • Hamilton: who r u
  • Cabinet battle #1:
  • Thomas Jefferson: your financial plan is dumb
  • Ham: ur dumb I don't agree
  • Washingmachine: Alexandre calm down
  • Thomas Jefferson & James
  • Madison: no1 likes you
  • Washingmachine: they right you need to calm down
  • Take a break:
  • Eliza & Angelica: stop writing for once and leave with us to go somewhere
  • Ham: no
  • Eliza &angelica: wow fuk u 2 then
  • Say no to this:
  • Mariah Reynolds: my husbands abusive please have an affair w/ me
  • Everyone: NO DONT DO IT
  • Ham: I guess I have no choice okay I will
  • *later*
  • James Reynolds: ur having an affair with my wife give me money
  • Ham: k here u go
  • The room where it happens:
  • Ham: I'm having a meeting with James and Thomas
  • Burr: wat
  • Ham: we're deciding where the capital is
  • Burr: hey I wanna go
  • Ham: no
  • Schuyler defeated: burr is now senator instead of hamiltons father in law and ham is salty abt it
  • Cabinet battle #2:
  • Jefferson: lets help France with their war
  • Ham: wat no not another war
  • Washingmachine: he's right
  • Thomas: wtf of course you take his side
  • Washington on your side:
  • Jefferson: I don't like Alexandre
  • Madison: he wouldn't be so high up w/ out Washington
  • Jefferson: lets ruin his career
  • One last time:
  • Washingmachine: oops I'm not president anymore
  • Alexandre: dad no
  • Washingmachine: byyyyye
  • I know him:
  • King George III: what john Adams is the president now lol good luck
  • The Adams administration:
  • Ham: JOHN ADAMS FIGHT ME
  • We know:
  • Madison, burr &Jefferson: you took government funds ur career is over
  • Ham: lol no I just cheated on my wife
  • Hurricane:
  • Ham: I've fought everyone, except for myself
  • Ham: I guess I'll change that
  • The Reynolds pamphlet:
  • Alexandre: Time to publish the details of my affair before anyone else for some reason and ruin my marriage
  • Everyone: wtf
  • Burn:
  • Eliza: hey wtf Alexandre ur the worst
  • Blow us all the way:
  • Philip: I'm really smart and I just graduated
  • Philip: hey wait George Eacker just said somthin mean abt my dad alexandre
  • Philip: hey Eacker lets duel
  • George: what okay
  • *later*
  • Philip: *aims gun at sky hoping that Eacker won't shoot and no one will die*
  • Hey this looks the the perfect opportunity to not shoot
  • Eacker: how bout I do AnYWAy
  • Stay alive:
  • Philip: oh no I'm dying
  • Alexandre: no pls
  • Eliza: WAIT WHAT
  • Philip: mom I'm dying
  • Eliza: wat no
  • Philip: oops I did
  • It's quite uptown:
  • Alexandre: hey our son is dead and I'm sorry
  • Eliza: I accept your apology
  • Eliza&ham: ;-;
  • The election of 1800:
  • Madison: hey burr is probably going to win the election
  • Jefferson: what no
  • Madison: if Alexandre likes you over burr you could win
  • Burr: wow everyone likes me
  • *later*
  • It's a tie
  • Everyone: Alexandre
  • Everyone: Jefferson or Burr
  • Ham: Jefferson
  • Burr: what
  • Oh look Jefferson is president now
  • Your obedient servant:
  • Burr: ham you cause all my problems
  • Ham: that sounds like a YOU problem
  • Burr: duel me
  • Ham: k
  • Best of wives, best of women:
  • Eliza: y r u up
  • Ham: I have a meeting
  • Eliza: Kay
  • Eliza: u better not be having an affair
  • The world was wide enough:
  • Burr: oops I killed ham I didn't mean too
  • Who lives, who dies who tells, who tells your story:
  • Everyone: :( Alexandre died
  • Eliza: I'm going to tell his story :)
Requested One Shot: Meeting Shawn at a House Party. PT.2

As asked for here is part two for the aftermath! Hope you like it!

“Are you really going to wear that? My sister asked as she laid belly flat on my bed, legs crossed up in the air.

I got irritated, not liking her comments towards my lack of style. “I don’t know? I don't’ know anything about this bullshit!”

She sat up on the bed. “Woah, woah. Calm down.” Her hands reached out in a calming manner. “We’ll figure something out.”

I threw my head back in frustration. “Ugh. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m so nervous I feel sick. I’m not some pretty girl who can look cute for a date without looking like I’m ready for thanksgiving dinner. If you want a girl who can put on a T-shirt and jeans at a world record speed.” I pointed to myself. “I’m that girl. I’m so not good at this.”

Keep reading

Why Ryder is an Annoying Shit, pt. 2
  • Ryder: I can take you on a Ryde you'll never forget
  • Romance option: *sighing* that's the tenth time today you need to stop
  • *
  • Ryder: once again I am Ryding solo
  • Squadmates: this is why you're single you piece of shit
  • .
  • Antagonist: who the fuck are you
  • Ryder: Ryder. Commander Ryder. And I'm about to take you for a wild Ryde down to hell
  • Antagonist: I...what?
  • Ryder: I'm going to fuck you up
  • Ryder: I know that sounded weird
  • Antagonist: yeah it was...bad
  • *
  • Ryder: there is a lot Ryding on my shoulders, you know
  • Squadmates: will you fucking shut up
  • Ryder: never
  • *
  • Ryder: let us Ryde this SSV Tempest into battle
  • Pilot: go away and let me do my damn job
  • *
  • Ryder: *calls sibling* I just thought of a new Ryder pun holy shit you aren't going to believe this one
  • Ryder's sibling: ME TOO okay you go first
  • *
  • Ryder: what's my favourite poem?
  • Squadmate: don't even go there-
  • Ryder: Ryders In The Stand
  • Squadmate: *loading a clip into their gun* that's it

anonymous asked:

i've found myself obsessed with the thought of being inpatient, and it's becoming a real problem. it's all i think about. i am just so desperate to be sick enough to be inpatient that i trigger breakdowns frequently and practise parasuicidal gestures often. i'm not sure if it's a validation thing (as in i wont accept there was a problem to begin with until i'm in hospital) but i don't know what to do. i've been in therapy for two years, changed counsellors twice and see a psychiatrist, too.

inpatient obsessed pt. 2 - i think i might have borderline personality disorder, and i don’t know if this whole thing is anything to do with that. i present every single symptom i’ve read but i’m deemed “too young” (17) for a diagnosis, so they’ve just settled for GAD for now. i just don’t know what to do, and i don’t know if i can accept i’m ill in the first place until i’m hospitalised. i don’t know how much of my sickness is induced or if all of this is a symptom of something like histrionic.

Hi Anon,

It could be a subconscious need for validation, it could be symptomatic for something else entirely. It is not my place to diagnose that, so let me first of all urge you to discuss this with your therapist.

About the need to validate: that is of course a possibility. Many people subconsciously associate severe illness with hospitalization and so somewhere along the line the idea grows that as long as you are not in hospital you are not ill enough. That is the case with somatic illnesses but also very much, and maybe even more, with mental illness. 

And to be honest I can quite understand your frustration. You are 17, so you still have to wait for a little bit before they can diagnose you correctly, and so in the meantime they give you some other diagnosis. Which I am sure will not have been pulled out of thin air, but still only approaches the true thing apparently.

What’s more, having to deal with these diagnoses and then to be sent home feels weird. I remember how that went with me. I got diagnosed with dyshymia and borderline, and then the hour was up and they sent me home. And I remember how absolutely weird I felt, going home while at the same time having these diagnoses and indeed wondering to myself, how ill am I if they send me home?

And that is what I mean with that subconscious association being made between illness and hospitalization, and I got out of that mode of thinking when indeed I accepted I was ill in the first place, and that I was ill enough, and that I didn’t need a place like a hospital to validate that feeling. And it took a while for that acceptance to grow, but it came.

What really helped me was to explain my feelings to my therapist at the time. She was able to show me that it’s not about how ill you are, or whether you are in hospital or not. You have certain symptoms, these make you ill, and so they have to be taken seriously both by yourself and others.

Underneath are links on how to talk about yourself with your therapist, as well as links on borderline and how to cope with that. I hope they’ll help.

Getting & talking to a therapist

Borderline Personality Disorder

Healing From BPD (contains chatroom)

DailyStrength.org Personality Disorders Support Group

All the best,

Lost.

Love Hurts (Pt. 2)

Rating: R

Word Count: 1,339 words

A/N: I’m sorry to make you wait for part 2 guys.

Part 1 (X)

||Masterlist||

As soon as the last bell rang Luke grabbed his backpack and left the classroom with his friends. I left with Maddie, she wanted me to tell her about my sudden ‘thing’ with Luke. She drove us to her house, it wasn’t too far away. On our way to her house Luke’s black Lamborghini passed next to us. Once we were in her house she parked her car in the garage and opened the front door. Her house was really big, it looked like she was a rich girl too.

“So, what happened between you and Luke?” She asked as I sat on the couch.

“I don’t even know, it all happened so fast. I was just fixing my hair when suddenly he entered the restroom and then” I took a deep breath “we had sex.”

“Oh girl you don’t waste your time in school huh.” She laughed.

“What Sam said about Luke is true?” I asked.

“What did she say?”

“That he was trouble.” I responded.

“Luke is not a bad boy, he’s had a rough life. I mean his parents are never home, they are always abroad attending meetings. He just needs attention and someone who is willing to love him for who he is, not for his legacy.”

“I think I’m falling for him.” I muttered really low, she didn’t hear anything though.

“Sorry what?” She said confused.

“Nothing. I gotta go, my mom hates when I come home late.”

“Okay, take care. See you tomorrow at school.” She smiled.

“See you tomorrow.” I said shutting her door and going home.

I looked to the house in front of Maddie’s and it was really big too, both houses were like mansions, actually all the houses in this neighborhood were mansions. I walked to the front sidewalk, I gave a quick look to that mansion and something caught my attention. On the door there was an emblem that said Hemmings family, this had to be the house of Luke Hemmings. So Luke and Maddie are neighbors and she never told me that.

I was staring at the emblem when suddenly the door was opened and I faced Luke, I couldn’t be more embarrassed now. He would think that I was stalking him or that I followed him to his house.

“Came here for more?” He smirked.

“What? I didn’t know you lived here. I was at Maddie’s and… How did you know I was in the door?” I asked him.

“The cameras.” He said pointing at a camera above us.

“Wanna come in?” He said.

“Okay.” I said not being sure of my answer.

I was astonished when I entered his house, it was really big and beautiful. The wooden floor was spotless and looked like no one had ever walked onto it. The walls were covered with expensive artworks and there were statues everywhere.

“Are you gonna stare at my house or are you gonna follow me?” He asked interrupting my trance.

“Where are your parents?” I asked curiously.

“In Germany, they had an important meeting and they are coming back in a month or so maybe.” He said.

We walked through hallway that lead us to a dark room with comfortable seats and a big screen, it was a cinema. He had a freaking cinema in his house it was unbelievable.

“What movie would you like to see?” He asked me.

‘I don’t care, we’re not gonna see the movie anyways.’ I though to myself.

“That one is okay.” I said randomly without knowing what movie was.

The movie started playing I can’t remember the name of the movie but it was amazing, one of my favorites. Luke was sitting next to me and suddenly his hand went from his lap to mine. He made lazy circles in my knee and then going up to my thighs, he was toying with me.

“What are you doing?” I asked. He shushed me.

He pushed my panties aside and rubbed my clit before slipping two fingers inside me. I gasped and he smirked.

“Luke.” I moaned.

“You’re so wet honey.”

He started curling his fingers and thrusting quickly. My eyes fluttered shut and a soft loud moan left my lips. He added another finger and the pleasure was at its highest point.

“Fuck, Luke I’m about to” i was saying but he stopped pulled out his fingers.

“Luke what the fuck.” I shouted and he chuckled.

He slipped his three fingers again and pumped them really fast, my mouth was slightly opened. I was already so turned on, I could hear his fingers going in and out. He suddenly slowed his pace.

“L-Luke faster.” I whimpered.

All of sudden I felt another finger slip in and bit my lips. Loud moans escaping from them, I was about to come. My orgasm was building, my back arched and I came all over his hand. My warm liquids running down my legs.

“Fuck, you’re gonna pay for that.” I said bringing my hands to his pants but he stopped them int the way.

“Oh no, don’t worry about me. It was all about you honey.” He whispered in my ear. “You can go take a shower if you want to.”

'Umm shower sex, that’d be cool.’ But I was really late, my mom is a pain in the ass sometimes.

He took me to the bathroom in his room and told me to grab his clothes if I wanted or needed to. I grabbed a few towels, a drop dead shirt and some shorts. When I finished showering I wore his clothes and left his house without him noticing.

My mom was worried about me, I told her a stayed at Maddie’s house for a moment to do homework together. She served me dinner and then I went to bed, I was always bored at my house. I had no siblings and my parents were always working. I turned on my TV and slept with his clothes until next morning, his fragrance was now all over his bed, it was amazing.

My first classes were really boring, basically math and literature. I haven’t seen Luke yet, I wish we had more classes together.

“What are you thinking about Y/N? It’s lunch time, the girls are waiting.” Kelsey said, I realized everyone in the class had left already.

“Umm I’ll go in a minute, I need to go to the restrooms.” I lied.

“Okay.” She said.

I went to the back patio, there is a garden with trees in that area. I just stood under a tree when I heard a deep and familiar voice singing. I followed the voice and it took me to another tree just a few steps away.

I’m out of touch, I’m out of love
I’ll pick you up when you’re getting down
And out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now
I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind
I’ll do it all for you in time

I really loved how he sang, Maddie never told me he had such a good talent.

“You can sing.” I interrupted him.

“What are you doing here?” He said surprised.

“Just wanted some space. What are you doing here?”

“That’s not your business.” He said harshly and he suddenly noticed I didn’t like his tone.

“I heard you’re going to Calum’s party.” He cleared his throat.

“Yeah I got invited. You know Maddie is Calum’s girlfriend and I’m her best friend so that puts automatically me in the list.” I said.

He rolled his eyes.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow 7.” He offered.

“No thanks, Maddie is picking me up already.” I said and he stood up.

“Maddie” he grunted “that girl is so annoying. It’s good not to be her best friend anymore. Anyways I’ll see you at the party tomorrow.” I was gonna say something else but he was already gone.

So he and Maddie were best friend, why wouldn’t she tell me. I needed answers right now.

Song Lyric Sentence meme ;; pt. 3
  • 1: ❝I know sometimes it's hard for you to see, you're caught between just who you are and who you want to be.❞
  • 2: ❝And you can try but you'll never keep me down.❞
  • 3: ❝And you've been taking me for granted.❞
  • 4: ❝You should know me by now.❞
  • 5: ❝Tell me what you want me to say.❞
  • 6: ❝I think that they could be the better half of me.❞
  • 7: ❝I know we got it good, but they got it made and their grass is getting greener each day. ❞
  • 8: ❝I feel all my scars today.❞
  • 9: ❝And I'm a bloody big mess inside.❞
  • 10: ❝I just want to live while I'm alive.❞
  • 11: ❝No, you don't have to steal the show. It was your show all along.❞
  • 12: ❝I'm not just one of your many toys.❞
  • 13: ❝And their words are just whispers and lies that I’ll never believe.❞
  • 14: ❝I just want you to know who I am.❞
  • 15: ❝I'm screwed, oh well.❞
  • 16: ❝Come stop your crying, it will be alright.❞
  • 17: ❝But I'm afraid your best wasn't good enough.❞
  • 18: ❝Could it be worse?❞
  • 19: ❝I wanna know: is your life like you dreamed?❞
  • 20: ❝I'm never giving up.❞
  • 21: ❝Is that alright with you?❞
  • 22: ❝There is no tomorrow.❞
  • 23: ❝I can't help it.❞
  • 24: ❝It gets me through it.❞
  • 25: ❝It's not easy to see.❞
  • 26: ❝Would you dance, if I asked you to dance?❞
  • 27: ❝Don’t lose hope and don’t let go.❞
  • 28: ❝I was losing myself to somebody else but now I see I don't wanna pretend.❞
  • 29: ❝So superficial, so immature.❞
  • 30: ❝I've been looking for you day and night.❞
  • 31: ❝My heart's beating faster.❞
  • 32: ❝I'm only human.❞
  • 33: ❝And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?❞
  • 34: ❝Don't ask me why.❞
  • 35: ❝All we can do is try and live like we're still alive.❞

anonymous asked:

I don't know how credible this is, but apparently Alex Hirsch answered a fan question around the time of "Sock Opera" confirming that Bill actually owes Dipper since he didn't fulfill his end of the deal, but that he's "still not to be trusted." If this is true, what implications do you think this might have for the finale, since this still hasn't payed off plot-wise?

I can’t recall Alex having that answer at the time of Sock Opera, but he DID have a comment later on about that deal: [X]

It was spoiler territory to ask about Bill’s deal with Dipper, and how he doesn’t have any code of honor with his deals. So, maybe he doesn’t owe Dipper a favor, and that’s why he’s been ready to destroy the kid after entering their dimension. However, if he does owe a favor somehow, maybe it already happened and it’s slipping my mind (though one thing at least comes to mind), OR it’s something that’s yet to happen in the final episode. We’ll have to see!

A part of Bill’s deal was to help Dipper find the some clues from the laptop, and that sorta technically happened in SotBE. However, that episode aired BEFORE this panel, and this deal’s purpose/details had been kept behind the curtains. At least, that’s what we can assume.

The one idea I have in my mind is something I’ve kinda believed myself for a while since Ford came into the show….

All throughout the series, the Author of the Journals has been set up to be this “super knowledgable” and mysterious character. Even after his stay for the last half of the final season, he’s remained mostly mysterious with a big “I know what’s best and don’t question it!” type of ego. So, he’s still presented as some important guy with tons of knowledge… Yet, actual evidence in the show also proves otherwise, with how dangerous and even wrong or inconclusive the journals have been… They’re written by a flawed human, afterall. Not some godly idol. A human trying to play this godly hero role, but falling flat because of his very human limits.

I actually explained before what this has to do with Bill’s deal, but I’ll sum it up again here and with updated stuff since Weirdmageddon Pt. 2 had aired!

Anyway, while Bill probably got the Blind Eye Society to shutdown (for whatever reason) by letting Dipper find a clue through the crushed-by-Bipper laptop, he still mentioned some other things before they shook hands on this deal.

“A puppet seems like a small price to pay for all the secrets of the universe!

[Meanwhile, the image shown in Bill is also shown in Gideon Rises within a 6-fingered hand… Whether this has a connection or not, I feel it does have a reason for using the same galaxy background as the one shown in the frame of Ford’s hand.]

Bill likes to make deals that he can be confident in getting what he wants out of them. Tricking Ford into building the portal to “give him answers to Gravity Falls” but it actually was meant to be a bridge between the Nightmare Realm and reality. Giving up on the deal with Gideon after it was cut off, ‘cause he had hopes that Gideon would help him with “something [he’s] been working on.” He wasn’t getting what he wanted with Gideon, so he let the deal be cut off and went on his rampage in Stan’s mindscape at that point.

So, with Dipper’s deal…

He took advantage of his wording as he viewed Dipper as the puppet he wanted, destroyed the laptop (revealing the McGucket Labs label), and tried to destroy the Journal within Dipper’s possession because that’s what had warnings about the portal that would prompt Dipper to shut it down (and he nearly did). Meanwhile, he decided to have a little “fun” with his deal to make things go his way even more. Using Ford, and using Dipper’s idolization of Ford, tipped more of these dominoes over.

And again, the author truly isn’t some “super intellectual being with all these secrets of the universe.” He’s flawed, his knowledge and understanding of the world is flawed, just as any human and their knowledge/understanding would be. Bill just decided to take advantage of the “rose-colored glasses” of sorts that have lead Dipper (and even fans) to believe the author DOES know everything there is to know. That he’s some perfect mentor and all that. But it’s not the case in the reality of it. And hey…

Fits with the running theme of Fantasy VS. Reality, huh? Bill using peoples’ fantasies, delusions, and dreams against them is a consistent occurence in this show’s story. It’s been happening since the demon’s debut. That’s how he also gets away with “lying until it’s not a lie anymore.” The lies are like fantasies, and when pushed enough can seem as true as delusions that people fall for.

So, in a sense, I think Bill already offered this “favor” from his deal with Dipper, but of course only to get what he wants. To him, there’s no point in making deals or committing to deals if he can’t get anything out of it himself. He goes in with the hyper-confidence for it, and often succeeds!

As to why it’s kinda treated like a spoiler, maybe it’s not what I theorize and will mean something else in the show. Otherwise, it IS what I theorize and it’s just “spoilery” ‘cause it hasn’t been officially discussed in more depth from the show canon or its creators.

So, that’s what I think on this topic. Thank you for the interesting ask, anon! :D It allowed for me to discuss this a little more and with updated information as new stuff has happened since my last post taking on something similar.

Don't Bet On Me pt 2

ALEX POV:

I sat there on my bed with a blank look on my face, staring at the wall yet looking at absolutely nothing. 

It had been three days since I’d spoken to Y/N, or well, since she found out. I had tried calling her tons of times but each time she’d send me straight to voicemail. She did answer one of my calls though, I was so excited to hear her voice but the only thing she told me was “Fuck off”. That was it. 

At school I’d try to corner her and make her listen to me, but every time she even saw me she took off in the other direction. This was bullshit, but I had no one to blame but myself.

After she had stormed out of my house I quickly turned on Jack to tell him off, but the look on his face had stopped me. He was as pale as a ghost. He didn’t understand what had just happened so I explained to him how I had fallen for her over the days. He was sorry, of course. He didn’t know that’s how I felt. I forgave him, it’s wasn’t his fault. 

Tonight was prom. I had planned on asking her to go with me, but apparently that wasn’t happening. She was going though. Rian had overheard her best friend, Mark, asking her the other day in front of her locker. 

I had scoffed when he told me. How adorable. I would have asked her in the most extravagant way, because that’s what she deserved. But I had ruined that already.

So here I sat, in my tux, debating on whether or not I wanted to go when my phone started to ring. 

I jumped up, hoping it could be Y/N, but it was Jack’s name lighting up on the screen. 

I sighed as I answered, “Yeah?”

“Hey man!” It was loud in the background and hard to understand him so I guessed he must have been at the dance already. “You coming or what? The guys are already here! We’re just missing you!”

“I don’t know, Jack. I’m not sure if I’m up to it.”

“Listen, Alex, I know this is about Y/N, but this is your senior prom! You can’t miss this. Besides she’s here already.”

I sat up straight and proceeded to stand up, “She is?”

“Yes! And Alex… she looks beautiful.”

I smiled to myself. Of course she looked beautiful, she always did. How could I have never noticed this before?

“So, what do you say? You coming.”

“I’m on my way.”

———————————-

The dance was in full swing when I got there, but I didn’t really feel like joining in. I simply stood in the lobby where it was empty. 

I was seriously contemplating turning around and walking out when I saw her. Jack was wrong. She didn’t look beautiful. She looked more than that, there were absolutely no words that could describe her. She was like an angel, my angel. I wanted to run up to her and kiss her, but I knew I couldn’t. Instead I slowly walked up to her and tapped her shoulder.

She turned around and I found myself in awe from her beauty. I felt myself getting lost in her eyes, until I saw the fury behind them and I quickly remembered things weren’t the same.

“Y/N…”

“Save it, Alex,” she snapped, “I don’t want to hear it.”

She turned around to walk away, but I wasn’t about to let her. I quickly grabbed her arm and made her face me.

“Look, Y/N, I know you don’t want anything to do with me and I get it, I really do. I was a dick, a complete jerk and I should have never made that bet. It was stupid and I didn’t even care to stop and think about how it would affect you because I didn’t expect for anything to happen between us, but it did. Something did happen. You opened my eyes up and made me realize there’s more than meets the eye with you. You’re so perfect and I made that stupid bet before I realized that. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t, and I am so sorry. I need you to know that.”

“Okay.”

Huh? That’s it?

“Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay, you’re sorry but that doesn’t change anything. I trusted you, Alex. You know I should have known it was all some kind of joke. The Alex Gaskarth wanting to take me on a date? Yeah, right. I’m not pretty, I’m not like the girls you date. I never will be. But I thought, for just a second, that maybe you were different from how everyone made you out to be. So I said yes. We talked, we connected, or so I thought and for once I was happy. I had never felt like that before in my life, but of course it was all one sided. I knew better than to fall for you, but I did. So stop apologizing, I’m the idiot here. I was stupid to think you could ever love me." 

I was shocked, there was so much I wanted to say instead I stayed quiet. 

She took my silence the wrong way and simply nodded her head as tears began to fall silently from her eyes, "Exactly.”

She walked away and I so desperately wanted to chase after her, but I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. I needed to prove to her what I felt was real and I knew exactly how. 

——————————————-

I sat with Jack, Rian, and Zack and their dates. They were all laughing about something, I wasn’t really paying attention. 

Jack was about to say another joke when suddenly a voice came over the speakers. 

“Hello, students! I hope everyone’s having a good time!” The student body erupted in cheers and applause. “Great! Well, it’s about that time when we announce our Prom King and Queen!”

Great. Just what I had been waiting for.

“Okay, so first off, our Prom King, by a landslide, is….. ALEX GASKARTH!”

Once again everyone began to cheer and I even found myself smiling. The guys all clapped me on the back even though we all knew I had this one in the bag. 

I made my way to the stage and accepted my crown and waved at everyone. I then turned to the principal, who was holding the mic, and asked if I could say something real quick. He agreed and handed it over and I cleared my throat before speaking. 

“Hey, guys. I uh, I just want to thank you first of all, for voting for me. This is great.” The crowd cheered and I smiled at them softly. “But it’s not exactly how I thought this night would go. You see, the girl I want isn’t here by my side.” Everyone booed and I let out a chuckle. “Yeah, it sucks. But it was my fault. You see, there’s this girl and wow, she’s incredible. She has the most amazing smile and her eyes, I swear her eyes are the prettiest. She listens to me, unlike most people and she gets me. But I took her for granted. She helped me find myself, she helped me realize there’s so much more to life than this ridiculous jock title that I’ve held onto. She loves, or well loved me. I think it’s incredible that she loves me. You want to know why? Because I love her too.” I searched the crowd for Y/N and when I found her she had a smile on her face and tears streaming down, but I knew she wasn’t sad. “I love her so much and it’s so crazy because I’ve only known her for a little while, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I could spend the rest of my life with this girl and I wouldn’t regret it. I could spend the rest of my life making up for what I did, because she’s worth it. She’s perfect and you know what? She’s Y/F/N Y/L/N and I am absolutely in love with her." 

The crowd gasped and I couldn’t care less. "So, come up here baby! I want to show everyone in this room just how much you mean to me.”

I didn’t even have to finish before she was already on the stage and in front of me. 

She gave me a smile through her tears and I opened my arms for her to jump in them. When I embraced her, I had never felt more at peace. 

She looked up at me and I smiled wider than I had in a while. 

“I missed you, Alex." 

"I missed you too, baby. I swear I will never let anyone, including myself, hurt you again. I love you so much." 

She nodded and I did what I had been wanting to do since I’d seen her that night. I kissed her. I kissed her more passionately than I had ever kissed someone before. I could hear the crowd going crazy, wolf whistling and cheering for us, but I drowned them out. All that mattered was I finally got my girl back. 

We pulled away and I pressed my forehead against hers with a content smile on my face. 

We were about to walk off the stage when the principal pulled me back. 

"Wait! I haven’t announced the queen yet!" 

I shook my head. "That’s okay,” I said as I pulled Y/N closer to my side. “I already have my queen right here."