i just don't know how to feel about this at all

anonymous asked:

GA member here (i'm more of a marvel movies gal and altho i'm ok with destiel i'm not actively part of fandom; spn isn't even my fave ongoing show i just watch it casually when i have nothing else to do!) but i just wanted to say that whole 'i don't know what to say' 'i do' was the perfect pre-1st kiss setup, it was screaming-at-the-top-of-their-lungs obvious???? (1/2)

(2/2) throwing these 2 contrasting sentences highlighted the difference between the feelings/attitude Sam and Dean each hold about Cas, all whilst Dean walks towards Cas with fire in his eyes, looking so resolved and determined feels like a fanfic scenario i still can’t believe they pulled it on screen just like that. the moment is exactly framed how 1st kiss scenes go down in movies, it’s totally the moment the hero gathers up resolve to let the romantic interest know about his ROMANTIC feelings.

PS. as GA i totally got the framing they tried to convey, the message they wanted us to catch, precisely because as a GA member i didn’t even need to think deep. no need for me to try reading meta on the framing. they threw it out there unfiltered clear as the day cause they know GA would quickly make the connections without even need to engage w/ interpretation outside the actual show. ofc dean knows what to say (to do), different from sam, Dean is IN LOVE w/ Cas

Originally posted by ldrmas

I LOVE GA STORIES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING! :D

(I’ve seen so many of these on tumblr and twitter, there’s so much GA awakening. People genuinely are like “I thought Destiel was just a fake ship but it seems really real now!” “I didn’t get it before but now I totally do” “Are they a couple? what did I miss?”. Then of course all the people who knew Destiel was a ship and are now like oh, cool, I didn’t think they’d go there but they are!). 

anonymous asked:

dammit, your heart is 2 sizes too small! Santa's gonna put u on the naught list >:c what about watching A Festive Day in the Life of Dan and Phil! ???

a little hello to all you readers out there

Something terrible happened this week in our fandom, something to such an extend I NEVER would have wanted to witness here. This is supposed to be a safe place, at least I see it that way. And when I say safe place, I mean it in so may different ways. This is a place where we support LOVE, JUSTICE and stand behind people who teach us to treat people with KINDNESS and give back GOODNESS. 

Being here isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, I think we all know and have experienced that. It’s come to a point of people leaving, because it’s too much. And I 100% understand them. I’ve been one of them, but I’ve come back.. Because to me this is love, home, passion, compassion, learning things about myself, learning important things about life. I choose to be here and so do everyone of you also. You choose to be here, you choose to act the way you do. Take a step back for a moment, to understand that, to stand behind that person you are. 

I know, being a fic rec blog, that I do post things that aren’t suitable, in my opinion, for underage people. And I would like to take this moment to address everyone who is, if there should be one here scrolling through my blog. You deciding to come here, is your own decision and I can’t make you leave, BUT what I want is you to think and think hard, is this what you want.. When you come across a fic that has explicit content, DON’T open it. There’s a reason these warnings exist! At a certain age, you feel like you´re an adult and you want to experience things that maybe you’re body and/or mind isn’t really ready for, I know that. But maybe take a step back and try to be responsible for yourself. Be responsible. If you start to feel uncomfortable or anxious or anything in that direction, please stop reading, close the page and learn from your experience. You deciding to be here, means you’re responsible for yourself, no matter your age. I haven’t, the writer hasn’t, no one else but you have decided to make this decision. So, please take care of yourself. Rather be safe than sorry. 

To all the writers out there, I would like to remind you of the use of warnings there is in ao3. We all do want to be safe and it’s amazing and important that ao3 has that warning system, so let’s keep embracing it!

To get back to the happenings of this week.. Where is the love? Where is the respect? Where is the kindness? Things and accusations and name calling has been flying around, when the reason behind it all has been wrong. Hurt and anger might have made it happen but the topics that have been talked about and the things that have been accused of these people, are serious and should not under any circumstances be played around. If there was a case of any kind of abuse, it should be dealt with respect and not spread around this site like some gossip. 

Spreading lies about others is unacceptable! Believing in different truths is life. And we have a lot of bullying because of that, in our fandom. And it makes this place feel like hell sometimes. BUT when it comes personal, when the lies and bullying and name calling become things that are directed towards one or two or three people, IT IS UNACCEPTABLE!! When the accusations are so severe, it it not something you can just brush off, YOU DON’T DO IT! (If you actually are in a position where you feel like you are being abused, you find an adult and preferably also a professional who can help you process the experiences and then after that you can contact the person who has abused you if it feels like something you can do.) 

I would like to ask everyone to have a moment to think, to reevaluate this situation. Not only to think about others actions but to think of your own. Do you believe in something because others told you to believe in it, or because the topics were so serious you just have to believe or because you listened to all the information and made a decision yourself? 

Remember love and kindness. Remember the reason you are here. Be an adult and know respect. 

Thank you for reading. 

ps. Hope this comes across okay with my english. 

Ok, I generaly try to avoid those kind of post where I’m really salty and angry, but I really needed to rant about something that piss me off to no end today.

See my country doesn’t recognise a third gender, your either male or female, we don’t have gender neutral pronoun, hell even object have a gender, and although that suck I’m use to it. But I swear it’s becoming ridiculous.

I’ve register myself at the library today, and they ask me to fill paperwork with personal information including my gender. Just wtf ? Why do they need to know that ? How will my gender is relevant here ? I know it’s might look like a small detail but it’s all the time like that and I’m just so done with that… I just wanted a place to study, and I’ll end up with a library guy asking me wether I’m a male or a female ?! Jsut fuck this shit.

I hope I don’t bother you when I’m upset. I don’t usually tell people things, so I’m sorry I let everything out all at once and just hope you can make me feel better.

anonymous asked:

do you have an idea of a checklist for learning how to create digital art? like i know practice is essential, but i don't really know where to start or where to go from there. thanks so much xox

I think I can toss some stuff out here that might be of use.  Assuming an artist learning digital art starts from the beginning–owning a tablet & drawing program but not knowing how to use them–here’s an inconveniently long list of stuff that could help them.

TL;DR: 1, mess around till you’re used to drawing digitally. 2, study and create ad infinitum. 3, a bunch of tips that are pretty hard to TLDR so you should probably just go over em.  Step 2 is basically what you asked me NOT to tell you (“practice”!), but unfortunately it’s all I know how to do :,(

1) If you own a tablet that you plug into your computer (i.e., you don’t draw directly on the screen), feel free to spend a few weeks or even a month+ just getting used to it.  When you first start out, it’s really freaky drawing in one place and seeing things appear somewhere else, but trust me in that you won’t even notice the disconnect after a few months of consistent digital drawing.  I’ve been painting digitally for about 2 years now, and it’s actually slightly easier for me to draw digitally than traditionally.  [If you have a cintiq, or you use an iPad with Procreate, or something similar, then you probably don’t have to spend as much time in step 1.]

Keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how good you were with traditional drawing when you start digital; the mental disconnect you have will make it very difficult to think about proportions, values, edges, colors, etc.  You’ll probably notice yourself making mistakes that you wouldn’t normally make on paper.  Don’t worry about them, just keep drawing as you usually would.  Digital you will catch up to traditional you in time.  

For now, get used to blending colors, drawing somewhat steady lines that go in the correct direction, and fooling around with brushes and brush settings.  If you come across a brush that you like (easy to work with + pleasing results), it may help to stick with it as you continue to learn.  Digital doodles and sketches are good for this stage; though try to keep doing traditional work so your base art skills don’t atrophy.  

If you’re just starting out with Photoshop or Sai or Krita or whatever software you’re using, you’re gonna be intimidated by all the funky buttons and settings that you first see.  If it makes you feel any better, I use maybe 0.1% of the tools that Photoshop offers me.  When you start, all you need to worry about is the brush tool and control-z, maybe the eraser too.

2) Do studies as well as pieces from imagination.  You can move into step 2 as early as you please; you don’t have to wait until you think you’ve become “skillful” at digital drawing (in fact, this step is what will probably help you become the most comfortable with digital).  It’s alright if your colors are icky looking and your values are off (tip, occasionally turn the saturation of your drawing to 0 to check the values), because as long as you keep studying reality and appealing art & continually learn from your mistakes, you’ll get better. 

Always remember to study or at least appreciate the qualities of art you enjoy.  It’s the same thing that people always tell writers–you have to read a lot to write well.  You probably shouldn’t shield yourself from the influence of other artists; while you may think that this action would help you develop artistically in the manner most true to yourself, in reality the vast majority of the process of learning art will be honing in on what you find visually pleasant so that you may, in turn, express your artistic taste in your work.  If you look at other people’s art, you can pick out tiny aspects of it that you like and incorporate that into your style.  It’s a bit trickier to build a style without the “help” of other artists, though you can always turn to nature for help. On that note, I also recommend referencing nature as much as you can, because we as human beings are sort of wired to find natural designs, colors, and structures beautiful.  Look at nature for the universally beautiful, and look at art for the subjectively beautiful (i.e., enjoyed uniquely by you).

If you find yourself getting burnt out pretty quickly, then just paint/draw simple and small things for period of half an hour to 1 ½ hours a day (and switch back to traditional).  You can spend this time mapping out proportions, creating thumbnails of values/colors, drawing linework, or whatever.  Add complexity to your pieces as the months go by, and if you already have a decent foundation in drawing aim to create somewhat finished pieces after maybe four months to a year.  Please note that the second part of that sentence was something I completely made up out of my head, because I’m trying to quantify pretty unquantifiable concepts such as a “decent foundation in drawing” and a “somewhat finished” piece of art.  If you find it unrealistic, or just too easy of a goal, disregard it entirely.  It can take you half a decade to learn to make finished digital art, or you can get it down in a couple months.

3) Fun fact, there’s not really a step 3 as you stay in 2 forever, always studying and creating.  But there’s a few other things about digital art that you ought to know, so here they are:

• If your computer doesn’t make a fuss about it, I’d recommend working on a decently large canvas (at least 3000 by 3000; I personally prefer 6000 by 6000). You’ll get less defined edges and colors if you go below 1000 by 1000, from my experience.

• If you have a tablet with pressure sensitivity (you probably should otherwise digital painting is kinda hellish), go to your brush settings and set ‘transfer’ to ‘pen pressure.’  This is what makes it possible to blend.  

• If you’re having trouble matching colors while studying, you can always color pick the ref (in photoshop: bring the pic into PS and use the eye dropper tool) and compare its colors to your colors.  Some people add too much red to their skin tones, some people draw their highlights with overly desaturated colors, some people make trees and grass in their landscapes too green; whatever the case, take note of and correct errors that you consistently make.  

• Get used to using the transform/warp/liquify tools (liquify is technically a filter but you get what I mean).  They’re lifesavers for fixing proportion mistakes that you’ve only noticed 8 hours into a piece. 

• Give layers a shot.  I only work on one layer, but I’ve heard from people who divide their piece up into multiple layers that they’re damn useful (until you draw on the wrong one). 

• Flip your canvas horizontally every once in a while to make sure stuff hasn’t gone awry. 

• Screw around with color modes; they can do some really fancy things that are difficult to duplicate with normal digital painting, let alone traditional.  On the topic of colors, don’t be afraid to use somewhat desaturated colors (near the center of the color picker square in PS). There are some very aesthetically pleasing color combinations that you can make out of somewhat dulled colors.

• If you’re using PS, bind ‘step backward’ to control Z, not ‘undo.’  This is under keyboard shortcuts.  Set up a bunch of shortcuts that are the most convenient for you–personally, I only keep my left hand near the lower left region of my keyboard (my right hand is away from the keyboard and off to the right, drawing on the tablet), so I have all of my necessary shortcuts in that area.

This was a bit longer than I expected, but I figure that someone out there can get something out of it.  Cheers to you, if you do.

[All of this happened because I wanted to write something about Stiles not being able to sleep without his pillow. Spoiler alert: his pillow is Derek.]

-

Derek tries not to look too hurt when Stiles says he’s going back to Washington, but when the Sheriff claps his back and Scott offers him a friendly hug, he knows he failed. But after everything, after the other night - it just doesn’t feel fair.

-

“It was a nice road trip, wasn’t it?” Stiles had said after they’ve won, after everything was done, their friends were alive and fine and Derek finally got his loft back. “I mean, we had some fun, right?”

Derek smiled without looking away from the flowers the Sheriff got him as a housewarming gift. “Yeah.” He answered, finally turning around. “It was nice to spend time with you.” It was more than nice and he cursed himself for not being able to say it, still, after everything, after the nights spent driving and talking and fucking in deserted roads.

“Yeah.” Stiles agreed easily. He was the one who started it after all, always showing up to save Derek - despite Derek saving him back plenty of times - always being there, trusting him, smiling and laughing like Derek makes him happy. “What will you do now that you’re a free man again?”

Derek shrugged. “I always wanted to start a farm, maybe raise some sheep?” When Stiles blinked at him, surprised, Derek let out a snort.

“Fuck you, I almost believed it!” Stiles said, punching his shoulder.

“You’re ridiculous.” Derek shook his head, still smiling. 

You’re ridiculous.” Stiles stressed, his hand still on Derek’s shoulder, touching, teasing. “I’m -“ Derek didn’t let him finish then, turning around and just pressing their lips together.

He didn’t want to listen then - and in hindsight maybe he should’ve - but without the haste, the guilt of having a nice time whilst their friends could be dying, Derek couldn’t wait, he just wanted to worship Stiles’ body, just wanted to kiss all the places he couldn’t reach before when they were squeezed in the backseat of Stiles’ car. 

And so he did, he made Stiles moan his name the entire night and he moaned Stiles’ own just as louder. Just to have his heart crushed the morning after.

-

“I’m gonna miss you.” Stiles says, his Jeep packed and ready to go. To leave everything behind.

It’s unfair, Derek knows. Stiles didn’t make promises and neither did he, but he can’t help how he feels. He understands Stiles doesn’t want to be in Beacon Hills anymore and that’s his choice, but Derek made his own and he’s tired of running away.

He’s never felt closer to his family than when he’s here, he’s already lost enough and he doesn’t want to lose his home. But somehow, as Stiles drives away, he feels like he just did.

-

I miss you, Derek thinks every day, staring at the black screen of his phone and wondering if he should actually write those words and send them to Stiles. He decides against it and despite the fact he was joking before, on the third day after Stiles left, Derek buys a farm.

He tells Lydia first during lunch at her favorite restaurant - she was adamant they had to become best friends and Derek enjoys her company so he lets it happen easily - and she tells him he’s not allowed to wear plaid around her. Then he tells Scott and two days later, he shows up at Derek’s front door with all kinds of seeds - “We need pumpkins for Halloween, Derek. Make it happen!”.

It’s something to do with his hands, something to work on. Create life, instead of ending them, build things, instead of destroying. He feels good, better and healing. Cora says he’s calmer now and Derek smiles, despite knowing she won’t be able to see him, and tells her he is.

Some days Stiles texts him, others he doesn’t. Derek reads the ones he has every night before going to bed, but he never answers them.

Keep reading

Hey guys! I’ve told you before that I’m a writer so this is a hella long post because it’s track-by-track. Unapologetically so. Hope you guys enjoy x 

TRACK 1: “… READY FOR IT?

 This song is a battlecry. The thumping bass brings to mind the heavy thud of wolves paws as they race towards their prey, seeking the trail left by a girl who used to leave her heart open and on her sleeve, ready to be snatched at any moment in a snap of their jaws. But no more. From the moment she clears her throat, we learn this battle will be on Taylor’s terms. It is her fight to win.

This is the first love song she’s released and had complete artistic ownership of in three years. It is no coincidence then that there’s reference to the tortured passions of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. They were a couple hopelessly and dangerously in love with many scars carved on their hearts by the other’s knife. This reference is a throwaway to the long list of ex lovers the girl who bathes in diamonds has had but also a reference to the flickers of hope Taylor feels for longevity no matter what with Joe. Their road may be complicated at times but they will get  there because the game is hers. The constant question of ready for it and in response baby let the games begin is so obviously a call of warning to Joe for what lies ahead but perhaps more subtly it is the call of Taylor’s inner voices and heart to her razor sharp self awareness. Is she ready for the games to begin? Is she ready to open her heart and give Joe a chance to be a better man?

TRACK 2: “END GAME” ft. Ed Sheeran & Future:

This song starts off with Taylor’s declaration that she wants to find a forever. It sounds sincere, gentle, wearied, the tone of the too often heartbroken. But then it shifts, it’s like the rose coloured glasses have come off and she’s reminded of her reputation. Then it’s all tongue in cheek sarcastic satire to keep the smile in place so that we don’t see how much it hurts. She has to weigh up every interaction in the context of her reputation. The addition of Ed & Future speaks volumes; one is a time trusted friend who has finally found a bright love of his own but that was not without heartbreak and the other gives her an edgier attitude that makes her self awareness all the more powerful.

There has been a further loss of innocence in this sharpening of her self awareness, gone are the wistful days of “say you’ll remember me”, that’s all I want. Now it’s all “I don’t wanna touch you, I don’t wanna be just another ex love you don’t wanna see.” She can see the fall right from the start but this time she opts out and says unless I’m your end game… because I don’t want to pick up any more pieces of my broken heart.

Also: Shoutout to Ed for his Cherry inspired verse. It made me feel many emotions too. SWEERAN THRIVES.

TRACK 3: “I DID SOMETHING BAD.”

The girl with the long list of ex lovers is back. However with the casually explicit twist, this narrative seems layered with perceptions and recognition of self-worth, “If a man talks shit, I owe him nothing.” This is drip-feeding the media exactly what they want, she’s stoking the fire herself. But in feeding the fire herself, she’s sending the burning embers back at them. Did you really think the girl who you used as an international rod for slut shaming would stay quiet forever? Nope. She doesn’t care if you burn her like a witch at the stake because she’s already done it. She’s burnt away all of the misplaced guilt and is now revelling in how good they felt in the moment. In fact, watch out she’s blazing with all the fire of a phoenix reborn and you might just get turned to ash.

TRACK 4: “DON’T BLAME ME.”

This & “I Did Something Bad” sound like sister tracks. The girl who jetsets around the world collecting men isn’t quite finished with her tale yet. She reminds us that defining her relationships by their headlines and paparazzi shots is a foolish move because those things are  one-dimensional. Taylor believes in love and this is her way of reminding us that there was love in every escapade of her heart up until now, at least at some point. She’s talking about the heady rushes head spinning intoxication of first glances and hands on skin and it doesn’t matter what the media says about the way she handles relationships because they forget love and that makes you crazy. Maybe in their minds the drug she refers to is not a singular identity but a collective “baby” and to them love will always be something she “uses”. But the heart wants what it wants and Taylor knows that so it doesn’t really matter.

TRACK 5: “DELICATE.”

This is the kind of song that happens when you cut the cord that is the boy crazy perception of yourself. You step back into the shadows and disappear so that they can’t find you. You close your heart, lock your doors and rebuild. And then he shows up. This is a cautionary songpp because Taylor can obviously feel sparks but… she’s just started to rebuild and if they find out the wolf hunt begins again. With delicate disbelieving vocals, we see Taylor start to realise that he can’t possibly want to gain anything from her reputation because it’s so bad… The wheels turn in her head. I imagine the realisation, “Wait so he must like me for me?” With the beat drop comes hope. Details are slowly given and then he stays. He doesn’t run so Taylor gives him pieces of herself; confessions thoughts and then her brain catches up with her mouth and the wheels come to a grinding halt: Her inner monologue screams it was too much too fast. We’ve all been there. It’s too delicate. No going back now. It’ll break and I’ll be left alone. Maybe one day I’ll find someone who doesn’t walk away, one day too.

TRACK 6: “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.”

The world tore a girl to shreds, made her play the fool on tilted stages. She retreated and rebuilt. Now the fool is dead. From here on out, she only trusts her army. With high heeled boots, red lips and words as sharp as daggers, she’s cutting herself a path. She is taking no prisoners and she’s accompanied by a savage snake because she and her army will always be better at the game. When she’s finished hunting down your asses, she’ll sit back on her throne with a high pitched giggle and say, “oh look what you made me do.”

TRACK 7:  “SO IT GOES…”

When people are watching, you have to be careful. Cover your tracks. Taylor doesn’t leave her heart open or on display anymore. But then they leave. The door shuts. You lock it with a key and the crashing chemistry you’ve been trying to deny slams into your ribs, knocking the breath out of you. It’s stolen kisses, careless touches, reckless chasing of the high. Body language is a fluency all its own. But a quick reminder before you unlock the door and venture out again; wash the lipstick off your face. *clears throat* you got a little caught up in the moment and you don’t want to blow your cover!

TRACK 8: “GORGEOUS.”

 The childish proclamation of the title to begin this next glimpse into Reputation  is hinting at the satirical inner monologue that this song is , reminiscent of the times you write your crush’s  last name instead of your own to see how it fits. It’s all giggles and late night phone calls, the kind Taylor most likely had with Abigail where they talked real slow because it was late and their mamas didn’t know (: However, it could also serve as a projection of the runaway daydream that fills Taylor’s mind from that very first night when she stumbles home alone to her cats, of what a possible future might look like (with kids one day) The lazy liquor loosened rhythms of Taylor’s thoughts tell us things she hasn’t admitted fully yet but will soon on nights at 4am staring at her reflection  in the bathroom mirror, telling herself the bravest thing she ever did was run - that this gorgeous  swoonworthy British boy with his careless touches and drawling accent has awakened the possibility of something better. This realisation rattles Taylor as she contemplates the gaps in her current relationship. *cue wistful sighs of frustration and enchantment, set to the dialogue of every teenage movie where the girl thinks the boy is just too good looking, how unfair is that?

TRACK 9: “GETAWAY CAR.”

The thing about any movie that has a getaway car scene is that they inevitably crash…. And that’s exactly what happens here. Except, the carnage is human hearts. She was running. There was a person she crashed into. It gets all blurred and tangled, she thinks she’s free but the thing about those movies is that the thing you ran from in the getaway car catches up to you particularly if there’s a track you can follow. Oceans of distance weren’t enough, darling. You needed to disappear. And I think she realises that  but she tries to pretend innocence and will the sunset closer. Unfortunately  the only real  way to untangle yourself is to disappear crying in the back of a getaway car in the dead of night. Without a word. That must have hurt a lot.

TRACK 10: “KING OF MY HEART.”

This song happens in tandem with Delicate. She’d sworn off love. Joe turned up. The British boy with the heart of gold who made his American queen believe. He made behind closed doors a paradise of rooftop nights. Before she knows it, he is every love story Taylor has ever daydreamed of. The line “is this the end to all the endings” made my heart swell because it’s clear Taylor hopes he’s the one. Please let there be no more heartbreak.

TRACK 11: “DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED.”

Dancing is supposed to be a joyous thing and maybe it was in the beginning. You can reassure with every beat. Sometimes your gut instinct shouldn’t be ignored though  because it does raise red flags. The door only needs to be fractionally ajar for the hunters to find a way in and set your paradise aflame. It sometimes doesn’t matter how much you dance to escape the flames, they will catch you. You will get tired. Dancing is a bliss that is euphoria swimmimg through your veins if the beat enters your bloodstream in the right moment; you feel like you could live forever. And in the end no matter how much it might hurt to walk away again, you would still dance for just another kick of that rush.

TRACK 12: “DRESS.”

Taylor’s caught up in the chemical rush. Every syllable drips with lust and the glory of the high when your hearts crash into each other, slamming the breath from between your ribs. It’s hands in hair and I don’t care what they think. It’s seeing the worst (hi bleachella) and still wanting. It’s realising you made mistakes before this and why didn’t you just do this from the beginning because it feels so good now you can’t ever have imagined wanting anything else. But every mistake is a marker in the roadmap and you woke up just in time to find where you needed to be.

TRACK 13: “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.”

I think everyone’s been in this situation, right? Someone burns you and it hurts but in the fun of a party, you click and connect again and it all starts to feel like water under the bridge. Maybe there was over-reacting happening. You throw them a second chance. Redemption. You’re the nice girl and you make excuses. But then they do it again, maybe it takes a couple of things and suddenly it’s too much. You lock the gate for your own safety. But they still expect you not to care. To flash a smile and forgive. I’m sorry. That’s not happening. You get hurt when I push back. I guess I should forgive you because we both threw stones. But… that would require me to mean it. Whoops, *laughs manaically* I can’t even say it with a straight face!!!

PS: It’s not too obvious I have personal experience with this song is it? Thanks KS x.

TRACK 14: “CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.”

This song is difficult for me to process because I never thought it would actually happen. I seem to remember somewhere along the way, a couple of years back, Taylor expressing frustration that she couldn’t seem to write happy songs about being in love like Ed Sheeran could. Well, I wish you could go back Taylor and tell yourself what you know now.

This song is a three minute ode to happy love. It’s smiles so wide you might split your face in half at the thought of that person. It’s blushing and shy giggles and bursts of song and twirls and all caps texts from your girls as they collectively lose their minds over how happy you are. This is every love story and fairytale Taylor has ever wanted but the wolves are always waiting, not so easy to outrun. 

Taylor says it herself in the  opening lines. She was done. The castle had crumbled. The bricks left bruises blooming on her exposed skin. People were tearing her down and she was hurting. Her heart had been shattered but so had her soul, again and again, relentlessly. And then she retreated, went silent and rebuilt. What she didn’t count on was love. A man who saw all the bruises and broken pieces and said it’s OK, I can still find the real you under all that. Taylor like so many of us looked in the mirror and saw all the danger for herself and for Joe, tried to push him away, keep him safe. That’s a very noble action but breaking your own heart so it doesn’t hurt as much when you feel like the other shoe is going to drop requires apathy from the other person. And Joe, god bless you, you didn’t let her push you away. You broke down her walls and showed you that starlight love does still exist. You loved her for Taylor. The person. You got her to give love a chance when she swore never again so thank you so much for that. I can’t really express how much that means to all of us. 

 This is an anthem of hope for every person who has ever been broken and is in the process of putting pieces back together. It can be done. We will find love. We will be radiantly happy again. We will be the strongest we’ve ever been. 

PS: *leans over to whisper in Taylor’s ear*

I think you’re finally clean…

TRACK 15: “NEW YEARS DAY.”

Piano on the final track… This is an ode of pure hope and happiness, a fitting final chapter to a remarkable story. Everyone wants the glory of the midnights and the lover who will be in their bloodstream like the party. But what we all hope for is someone who stays long enough to help us clean up the bottles on New Years Day. Someone who makes us feel like the messy unfiltered parts look like a highlight reel. Good times and bad times and all in between. They won’t leave. You found him. Forever.

This album is fucking brilliant Taylor. I love you. Proud x.

@taylorswift @taylornation @brian-mansfield

anonymous asked:

could you do headcanons for the chocobros with a s/o who is just. so savage. or just really snarky and sarcastic all the time and they just always have a hilarious and witty comment to make (dude I LIVE for sassy humour omg)

sure thing, anon! sassy, witty humor is my favorite kind of humor (even though I’m the least sassy human alive), so I had a lot of fun with this request. thanks for sending it in, and I’m sorry I took so long! I hope you like it <3


Noctis:

  • Okay but he loves it
  • He doesn’t always join in, but he always appreciates the little contributions you make to different situations
  • Lets you lead everyone into battle, just to hear what will come out of your mouth
  • Thinks about that one time you called Ardyn a “walking thrift store” a lot
  • When he doesn’t want to deal with certain people, he makes you handle them
  • Never knows how to respond. Is it sarcasm? Are you serious? He isn’t sure
  • He loves taking you fishing with him
  • Not because you actually fish
  • Not because you like fishing
  • But because you always have the best commentary while you watch
  • Who needs the Ring of Lucii when a couple of words from you could send a man to the mountains in shame
  • When things get out of hand, do not expect him to know how to defuse the situation. You can, however, expect to find him right there by your side
  • Because even if your humor carries you away sometimes, Noct will always have your back

Keep reading

hey i just wanted to say that if you’re already scraping by to make ends meet, the holidays are really hard. and that puts pressure on you and on your whole family. and if there’s one thing i hope you know it’s that you don’t need to prove you love someone by buying them something. i know we all want to get the people we care about really fancy things. but i’m okay if you get me like a smooth rock you found by the ocean. i know it’s true of other people, too. i’d rather you hand me a diy picture frame from popsicle sticks than something you had to go into debt to buy, and i think any person who’s worth their socks will tell you the same thing. and on that note? everybody loves socks, and they’re pretty cheap. yes, it’d be great if you and i stumbled on enough money to actually afford things. but love, i’ve learned, isn’t about the buying.

and on that note? for those of you out there who find the holidays a particularly dark time… i hope you know there will always be someone willing to open the door for you. even when it feels like there’s no one. even if that door is a window you have to crawl through. 

and for those of us who have more than we need, i hope we open those doors. if you notice someone who is going to be alone during the holidays, or who is usually depressed but for no apparent reason seems markedly happy and is giving away their things, please invite them over. hang out with them, no matter how awkward it is. sudden cleaning and long notes about how much they love you are also signs of suicide. with recent changes in insurance, it’s increasingly harder to find mental health care, so help a friend out (and maybe even yourself!) by figuring out who still takes the insurance offered so we can all give ourselves the gift of coping mechanisms, the gift that keeps on giving.

i hope you all are happy and safe this season!

anonymous asked:

I don't know how to feel about the video Kookie made of his travel with Jimin. I'm so soft right now. I love their dynamics.

i still ?? haven’t ?? recovered ???? i’m floored. speechless. trust me, i’m no hardcore shipper, but what i saw in that video was love. whether platonic, romantic, whatever it may be: it was love.

and of course, me being the astrology hoe, i had to dive deeper. jikook’s dynamics are very unique, different than any other pairing in the group. it’s special. jimin has always been jungkook’s muse, to its definition. yes, jungkook is extremely artistic, with a leo moon, libra venus/rising, and 12th house placements. that boy is brimming with talent. but what is it about jimin that just makes that talent shine? i had to find out why. looking at their house overlays, it all makes sense.

jimin’s sun lies in jungkook’s 1st house. as soon as i saw that placement i said, ‘ahhh, this is it.’ jimin’s profound impact on jungkook is all right here.

your partner’s sun in your 1st house is really a blessed placement. you know that one person who you can be yourself around, who sets you free? that’s jimin to jungkook. with this placement, jimin energizes him, boosts him to his full potential. i feel that this is especially important for jungkook, someone who struggles greatly with his identity. with sun and mercury in the 12th house, a lot of who he is is hidden behind closed doors, as the 12th house casts a shadow on the planets that reside there. jimin, being the sun person, quite literally illuminates those suppressed aspects of jungkook’s personality, helps him accept himself and grow and bloom.  

not only does jimin sun lie in jungkook’s 1st house, it is also conjunct his libra venus. this is an aspect of instant and long lasting attraction. venus is art. venus is creativity. venus is love. jimin channels tremendous energy into jungkook’s venus, gets his creative juices flowing. the venus person (jungkook) is very much enamored with the sun person. he views jimin as a perfect partner, a soulmate, and most importantly his muse

DeanCas Coda: 13x06

Castiel is still staring at the table when Dean goes looking for him, four hours later. He’s got that look on his face, the lost, devastated one, where his eyes get all big and blue and mouth turns down in a subconscious pout.

Jesus, the last time Dean saw that look, it’d followed the words you can’t stay.

Cas’s here now, though. Alive. He’s… flesh, and blood, and he–he’s warm. All the shit that’s gone down in the past 48 hours and Dean remembers, vividly, that he’s warm. The thought causes his heart to skip a beat, sweaty palms rubbing against his the softness of his boxers as he pads up to the table. Of course, he’s worried about the kid, too. He’s just—he’s processing. Everything.

But especially Cas.

Fuck, he was such a fuckin’ goob in that goddamn motel room. Even now, he feels his cheeks heat at the manic way he’d bounced from picture to picture, mouth running a-mile-a-minute with useless facts. And it’s not that he’s embarrassed that he likes cowboys—Lord knows Castiel had been well aware of that before he’d kicked it—it’s… well…

Where do they go from here?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Fine! If we can't talk about Clyde ruining Tweeks love confession and Craig ignoring that fact, why don't we talk about the BROTP. Craig, why haven't you been hanging out with Clyde? He's a sad boi.

CRAIG: What?

CRAIG: Dude I got trapped in the mountains with him yesterday, AND we had a sleep over a couple hours later.

CRAIG: And the day before that I was hanging out at his house, too.

CRAIG: Uh, he blogged all of it?

CRAIG: Clyde, are you actually sad or are these people just fucking with you?

CLYDE: [sssssighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghghghfhg]

CLYDE: No… they’re right.

CLYDE: I was sad today because you didn’t want to hang out.

CRAIG: Well I was sorta busy?

CLYDE: Yeah, but you didn’t say why. 

CRAIG: I didn’t think you wanted to know why that badly.

CLYDE: Yeah, but… lately you’ve been hanging out with Tweek way more than you have with me and it’s bringing me to major bummed out town, not gonna lie.

CRAIG: But… we’re hanging out now?

CLYDE: Yeah but… but…

CLYDE: I feel like I’m losing you as a BFF, bro…

CLYDE: We used to hang out so much and I guess I’m just getting emotional today, b-because we hung out so much in the last few days and I thought maybe we’d start hanging out a whole bunch again but then– then you said you were busy and didn’t even tell me why, and then you started posting pictures of you and Tweek hanging out and having fun and, and–

CLYDE: It hurt my feelinggggggggggggs…

CRAIG: Is this why you tried to beat up Tweek? Jesus christ, dude!

CLYDE: No I know it was soooo dumb and I’m a huge jerk but I thought it was a great idea when I did it cause… cause I don’t really know why but, but…

CRAIG: Dude.

CLYDE: [sniffle] What, dude?

CRAIG: I didn’t mean to make you feel like you were being shoved away.

CRAIG: I’ve just needed to make time for more than just you. Cause, hate to break it to you dude, but dating someone kind of means you have to hang out with them at least sometimes.

CLYDE: Why couldn’t you j-just tell me you were hanging– hanging out with Tweek today, then, bro…? :(

CRAIG: ‘Cause I didn’t think you were interested in hearing about that kind of shit, dude!

CRAIG: Like, do you know how lame it is to talk about your boyfriend to your best friend all the time?

CRAIG: Especially when it’s your gay boyfriend!

CRAIG: That’s like, super gay!

CLYDE: It is…

CRAIG: You’re still my best friend, dude. Nothing’s changed.

CLYDE: B-bro…

CRAIG: Here, come on dude. Let’s hug it out. I know how much you like hugs.

CLYDE: Bro, I do like hugs, bro!

CRAIG: God, you’re such a crybaby.

CLYDE: [sniffle] F-fuck you. I love you dude.

CRAIG: I love you too dude.

CRAIG: Come on, I think my mom’s just about here. She can take you home so you don’t have to walk in the dark with no shirt on.

CRAIG: Still don’t know why you took it off in the first place.

Lapis and Peridot: abusive power + control

So out of curiosity in light of Raising the Barn, I was brushing up on power and control in abusive relationships, and I came across this interesting diagram:

These are tactics used by abusers to obtain power and control in their relationships. When used together, it creates what’s known as a climate of fear– and, with this, the victim will feel like they don’t have an equal voice in the relationship.

First off, I strongly believe Lapis was holding onto a sense of power over Peridot that she was at least somewhat aware of, leading to Peridot’s hesitation to voice her own wishes. And I’ll like to break down and illustrate the major tactics she used that unambiguously gave her power and control in her and Peridot’s relationship, because apparently there’s still debate on whether or not Lapis is an abusive character.

(mind you, not all tactics have to be used in a relationship, but considering I cover half of them below… I’d say it’s more than enough)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I know there's a lot of stories and shit about Taako and Lucreita and how Taako should forgive her, but let me put it this way, Merle, Magnus, and Davenport were all put in a place where they were safe, where they could grow and have a stable place to stay. Taako didn't get that, Taako got life on the road. Barry probably would of gone with Taako if Barry didn't tell Taako to kill him, but Taako ended up with no one, and no place to go if things went south. There was no community for Taako.

This is an interesting point, anon, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Lucretia’s decision of where to put Taako. She wants Taako to be loved by everyone, and she believes he will be. All he needs is a stage. She believes this because she knows him, and she knows that it’s so hard not to love Taako. He’s fun to watch, with all of his ridiculous shenanigans and fascinating cooking skills, with that humor and lack of barriers that comes with getting to know him. Taako needs people who are close to him, a family, just like they all do. But she has no reason to think that he won’t have that when she knows people will flock to him.

Lucretia doesn’t give any of them a family. That’s not hers to give; family is made or found, not gifted by a third party. Magnus and Merle found theirs on their own. And she might have given Taako the potential for a nice, quiet life like Magnus or Merle - but that’s not Taako. She knows him better than that. She can leave him wherever she likes and he’ll do his own thing anyway, so she gives him what she thinks will make him happiest - a head start on success with the kind of life that’s familiar to him.

It might have worked, but there’s something Lucretia couldn’t have known - something Taako couldn’t have known. No one could guess who Taako would be without Lup. Not just having lost Lup; without Lup entirely. Taako might have made himself a family just fine on the road, might have even settled down eventually, except he has no experience with trust. He has no reference point for unconditional love. People flocked to him and Taako had no idea what to do with them. It’s not until he finds Magnus and Merle again that he starts to figure it out. He’s at a disadvantage for rebuilding his own life, because he’s missing something so very important to who he is.

Lucretia had a decision to make - did she let Taako keep Lup, with the understanding that he would continue searching for her forever with probably no hope of finding her, knowing that he was still torturing himself over it in the same hopeless way that he has for months already? Or did she take Lup away and hope that the absence gave Taako a second chance to live a full life, to be happy again? There is no good solution. There is no right answer. There is just a decision to be made and consequences to be faced.

Lucretia made a gamble that she couldn’t hope to win, because there was no winning hand. 

anonymous asked:

feelings on neil growing comfortable with his sexuality? like at first he thought he was gonna die so he said "fuck it", but now a future isn't out of the question and being a real person is hard and letting go of mary's warnings is hard. what do you think his journey with finding out things he likes and can have with andrew is like? do u think he and andrew ever discuss the imprint mary left on him? this is a mess of question, so if u answer just answer whatever u feel like talkin about!

YO my time has come (and wow so does neil! in various tender, consenting, sensitive, embarrassing experiments that feel so good that he cries because he’s disobeying a decade old instruction, and andrew can see all of his body and mind and it’s not bad like he thought it would be)

he absolutely goes through a period of self discovery and un-learning and tight, transformative, quiet discussions with andrew

- he doesn’t learn the word demisexual for many years, so he doesn’t have the vocabulary for the indifference and fear that step wherever he steps for all of his developmental years

- he isn’t indifferent or afraid of andrew though, he feels a whole host of hot, personal, kicking things for him, and he thinks they must be unusual in general because they’re so strange for him

- he starts to understand his own wants when he jerks off

- he doesn’t understand why andrew wants him to touch himself so badly until he comes on his own and realizes that his sexuality exists, on its own, separate from andrew

- (I mean like.. he still thinks about Andrew whenever he does it….. his sense of desire is clipped to his memory of andrew’s fast hands and wet kisses and dark eyes)

- he thinks a lot about what love is and about how it isn’t the bruising, hissing thing he thought it was (was told and shown it was)

- trust in a person that he loves and wants saved Neil’s life, and so he puts his fingers in the seam of an envelope that his mother told him not to open, and he finds love letters inside

- andrew is ruffled and topless and touching Neil’s back so lightly in the late-evening sun, and neil confesses that his pendulum rocked into the middle when he was fifteen, and didn’t move until he met andrew

- andrew says that neil had his impending death to worry about, that sex and love are only important to people who have the time to wish for them

- neil shakes his head and tells him that it’s not that, that his body completely stopped being curious, that he thought about bubblegum lipgloss and his face ached, right at his cheekbone where his mother’s hand hadn’t quite made direct contact

- andrew gets up and paces, restless, but neil still doesn’t fully understand this particular anger. he can’t focus on his mother’s abuse directly, it’s like a poison that he’d been drinking for years because he thought it was cough medicine

- he watches the sunset-whittled hollow of andrew’s sternum and his broad freckled shoulders and his rage on neil’s behalf and he wants him without anything hurting at all

- slowly, he understands that he stopped exploring his sexuality because his mother slapped down a caution sign and he hadn’t dared cross it

- slowly, andrew folds up his mothers warnings and puts them aside. He doesn’t shred them or kick them down because he know that they still mean something to neil, that Mary saved his life over and over again by crushing his life into pieces that were too small to find

- slowly, he listens to andrew describing the way he kissed boys at juvie, in the locker room after exy, the smell and steam keeping him present. He found people like Roland to jerk off and respond to and keep down, testing a hypothesis over and over again, understanding that he was gay and that consent was the thing that would make that okay

- neil asks him if he has to know who he is when he wants andrew and nothing else, and andrew tells him, jaw locked, that he can follow his curiosity and find his own way of swinging, and that he’ll be at home, waiting

- (neil knows what it costs him to say this)

- but he realizes he doesn’t want to experiment, that the idea of slinking into other people’s beds and kissing other mouths isn’t just empty now, it’s sickly, it’s letting himself into the wrong apartment when all he wants to do is go home

- demisexual, he realizes, hand in andrew’s, window open, King belly-up in front of their heater, completely in love with their life

- versatile, overcome, often submissive, often completely transfigured by praise, he realizes, gradually, in beds and bathrooms and shower stalls

- the spectre of his mother double checks his locks and burns his heels and retreats when faced with andrew, who deals with Neil’s grief by taking whatever he’d holding, sitting him down, and letting him feel it, start to finish

- when nicky laughs and tells a disappointed girl that Neil swings a different way – Neil knows that he never started swinging, he’s just stopped walking backwards away from the things that he wants

“You’re Giving Up On Us?”

A/N: hi, everyone! sorry i haven’t uploaded in a while. school has been keeping me more than busy lately! 

warnings: this is angsty (i think) ??

requested: @pxrrishly

thank you for requesting! i hope you enjoy it x

word count: 2,474

Originally posted by 2tiedships2

Y/N knew what she was getting into when she first started dating Harry. She knew that his job would often take him away from her, whether it was because he had to go on tour or due to late hours at the studio. She could take that. I mean, both Y/N and Harry were doing a pretty good job so far. A long distance-relationship wasn’t going to fail them, now. Right?

Harry had been on tour with the boys countless times before and it never really got in their way. But all because they compromised. 

Compromise.

Had it depended on the occurrence in which both of them would sacrifice bits and bits of their days now, Y/N would’ve forgotten what the word means long ago.

At late hours like these, in the dead of night, when she’s lying wide awake in bed, are the best timing for her thoughts to creep in, and as much as she doesn’t want them roaming around her head, they already settled a home up in there.

She reminisces the times when they’d both stay awake longer than usual — or wake up earlier than supposed to — just so they could talk and see each other as much as possible through video-calls. She reminisces the times when she hadn’t a worry in the world about where their relationship was leading to. She reminisces the times when it still felt like he was putting effort into communicating and contacting her while he was away, just as much as she was. But most importantly, she reminisces the times when she still felt like he was there with her, no matter how far he actually was.

But now that Y/N looks back at how it used to be and where they are now, she can’t help but feel as though someone just ripped her heart open and out of her chest.

The frequent and recurrent calls and texts here and there during her day began to become scarce when compared to the early days in their relationship. Texts that were always replied to, once he had the chance to write back a quick response, turned into hers always being the last sent and with the ‘Read’ tag underneath. What once was a continual exchange of ‘i love you’s barely happened anymore. Perhaps because they forgot or simply didn’t have the time to do so.

And eventually, he almost completely stopped trying to reach out to her. And when he did, it’d often be just a text telling her how busy he was and how he wouldn’t be able to talk to her later on in the day. He was tired. And so was she. For different reasons, of course. Clearly, he wasn’t aware of how much this whole situation was taking a toll on her.

However, it wasn’t as severe as it sounds. It’s not as if he completely forgot about her existence. He loved her too. He really did. But the pressure and hard-work mixed together wasn’t exactly the best combination, sometimes — specially at times like these. Harry knew this wasn’t an excuse because as much as people claim to be too busy or too tired for something — or someone —, they can always make time for them if the effort is really there. He’d talk to her whenever he found the chance to but, somehow, it just wasn’t enough.

For instance, she never cared about how tired she felt. As much as she needed to practically hibernate due to all the pressure and stress her work was putting her through, she’d always wait up for him to call her, just so they could see each other’s faces and share even if just a few words. She waited. She was trying. And as much as she wished to admit Harry was trying too, the only response she got from him were simple and very direct texts explaining how he wouldn’t be able to FaceTime her tonight.

Y/N missed him. And she couldn’t shake off the feeling that he had given up on them. For what other reasons would he practically stop trying altogether?

Harry had been on tour for almost a year now and she felt like she couldn’t take it anymore.

Y/N loved him. She really did. But how was she supposed to carry on with their relationship if the effort he once put into it was long gone? Sure, they’d still Skype each other occasionally, but the distance —both physical and emotional— was too much for her.

Video-calls that used to last around 2 hours — all because the two of them wished to cherish as much as they could whenever they had the chance to see the other — turned into 15-minute chats. Comfortable silences that was once part of their relationship turned into nerve-wrecking silences for her — the thoughts and ways of how she’d break the silence were all her mind surrounded with. And with vague words exchanged here and there, they’d quickly end the call and retreat themselves back to bed.

Y/N was never one to demand the presence and affection of her boyfriend every living minute of their day, but she needed something back from him. She couldn’t be the only one trying and willing to make things work. She just wanted to feel him close whenever she had the chance.

The tension between the two of them was undeniable. And as much as Y/N tried to understand what had changed so abruptly, she couldn’t find any answers. They had just become… distant. It’s not as if they had been arguing or fighting lately, or having silly disagreements. It wasn’t any of that. And she wasn’t sure what it was, but the fact that things just suddenly and unexpectedly changed without a proper reason or cause, made this situation even sadder for her.

For some odd reason, the freedom she once felt to share everything with him was now almost non-existent. Y/N knew she could but she didn’t know how to. And that’s how she figured he felt too. Harry eventually caught up onto her change of demeanour towards him and even though he was apprehensive to ask her if she was okay, he still did, gladly. (Un)fortunately — he really couldn’t tell —, she always replied with the same words, telling him that ‘yeah, just stressed with work s’all’, or ‘I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be?’, and brush it off with a small laugh. They never sounded honest for him though, and he never pressed on those answers because if something was wrong, she’d let him now… Right?

Harry didn’t want it to be true but he thought that he knew the answer to the ‘why wouldn’t I be okay?’ Y/N always pulled on him. He was well aware that they were distant and even awkward around each other at this point and he absolutely hated it. Harry knew she was not okay and he had a feeling that it was partly his fault. But he couldn’t know if she didn’t talk to him. Was he supposed to just brush it off or second-guess each time she said it?

It was bound to happen that her walls would cave down on her eventually—she just hoped it would have taken longer than this.

“Hello, love”, Harry greeted as soon as she answered his Skype call. She looked exhausted.

“Hey”, Y/N returned simply, not making direct eye-contact with him.

“Everything okay? You okay, love?”, he tentatively asked her, hoping for a real answer this time.

“’course I am. Why wouldn’t I b-”, she was immediately cut off.

“Love-”, he sighed. “Y/N… C’mon, talk to me. What’s in your mind? You don’t seem okay”. Harry was hopeful she’d give him something this time. After all, hope was all he had left.

“Harry- I don’-”, she let out a huff. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“But you know it’s not healthy to bottle up emotions, love. I’m here for you, you know that, don’t you?”

“No. Harry. I don't”, Y/N snapped.

“What? I’m always here for you-”

“Now, is that true, Harry?!”, she cut him off. She couldn’t keep her facade up for much longer. “You barely call or text me anymore! And I get to see you, what?! Once a week through a computer screen?! You don’t even put effort into us anymore! How would I be okay knowing you’re giving up on this relationship?! Tell me!”, Y/N was agitated to the extreme right now; her voice was loud and her cheeks were flushing up a bit—something that happened when she felt uneasy. She just wanted him to understand her side of the story. He might’ve been oblivious to it but she needed him to understand.

“Hey, hey, hey, now! Don’ put all the blame on me! You know damn well that I’m tired too! Sorry if I can’t exactly be right there at this moment to kiss your feet, princess! You know how my job works!”, Harry shot back. He might’ve felt bad and guilty when she started talking but after she accused him of such things, he wasn’t going to have it.

“You’re not denying it. God, I’m so stupid…”. Having a bad thought is something, but having someone somewhat confirm it goes to a whole new level. Harry wasn’t denying it. He was, indeed, giving up on them. Y/N’s mind was racing as she received what she thought was her reality-check.

“Y/N…”, he was strangely calm this time. Something was definitely up.

“Oh, so now you’ve got something to say?!”, she spat at him once again and if he was just previously coming down to his senses again, he wasn’t anymore. Her attitude was getting straight to his nerves.

“You know what? Just go straight to the point, yeah? I know what you’re doing here. Might as well just rush things up, no? I got better things to do…”

“Wow, Harry. Wow, really?! You don’t think that discussing this relationship is important?”, Y/N incredulously asked him, not waiting for a response.

“I didn’t say tha-”

“Well, you didn’t have to. I might just do you a favor and rush things up for you, yeah?!”, she huffed, mocking his previous words. “I can’t do this with you anymore. Clearly, you don’t give a shit about this so I might as well just end it, yeah?”. Y/N’s voice was slightly shaky but she managed to cover it up with a cough. She wasn’t sure if she had exploded way too suddenly and quickly in the course of their conversation but this was the least of her problems right now. She was literally breaking up with him.

“So you’re breaking up with me?!”. It was Harry’s turn to be stunned now. “You said I was the one giving up on us, but look at you now! Are we really not worth the fight for you?!”

“Oh, don’t put this all on me, Harry! You know damn right you gave up on us long ago! I’m just doing us both a favor ending this vicious cycle we’re in!” Y/N yelled, following with a sniffle and a sudden change in the room. It was quiet. None of them dared to say anything else at this moment. She had tears pricking at her eyes, begging to run free across her cheeks — but she wasn’t going to allow them. At least not now.

Vicious cycle? Is that really what you think this is- is that really what you thing we are? This could be nothing but a rough patch for all we know and you’re literally just throwing it all away?!”, Harry couldn’t believe the words he just came in contact with. How dare she say that?

“You know what?! I’m done arguing. Goodbye, Harry. I hope you have a great life!”

And just like that, Y/N ended the call and as much as Harry tried to be fast enough to stop her, his screen went blank and she was gone.

Right after she shut her laptop close, she broke into sobs. Did she make the right choice? Was there any chance left for them?

It wasn’t exactly an easy breakup — if you could even call it that. Y/N was aware of the words exchanged just now but she didn’t really feel as though as they were broken up. I mean, it’s Harry we’re talking about here. They’ve been together for the past two years and their relationship literally ended through a video-call.

It just didn’t seem… real. None of them got any closure. She literally shut the argument close, leaving both herself and Harry as confused as they could be.

Y/N knew what she was bound to do the next few days: grieve their relationship. Saying she was happy throughout their journey together was at least minimizing it all down to one word. There was no way she could describe what their love and connection felt like.

Both of them said things they didn’t mean. But was it worth going back on her words and apolozing? The pain that was unintentionally inflicted on her due to the distance and lack of contact with Harry was enough to bring her mind right back to where it was, in the first place. But, isn’t small contact better than none?

She was so stunned by the episode that just occurred that she didn’t even think about how Harry was feeling right now. Was he happy? Relieved that they were done? Sad? Shaken up?

And that’s how her next few days were spent: with her battling against her mind to give her some peace and with questions practically swimming around her mind — questions to which she had no intentions to finding the answers to.

Whenever, Y/N finds herself in hard situations, like a breakup, for example, she likes to be alone. She simply felt utterly lost and helpless — even though there was nothing simple about these two emotions.

She had to face the fact that she was now on her own and figure out a way to overcome Harry and hers breakup. Y/N had never loved someone as much as she did him and moving on would be complicated and perhaps even challenging. Might as well try to start now already, no?

Her trace of thought was immediately interrupted by a loud knock at her door, making Y/N huff in annoyance and get up from her lying position on the couch.

As she was making her way to the door, the person she missed most spoke on the other side of it, making her halt every movement she had — including her breathing.

“Y/N, love, please open up?”

part 2? yes? no? let me know! x

thank you for reading x

Masterlist

anonymous asked:

Whats your opinion on the headcanon that bakugou is hard of hearing because of how loud his explosions are? If you dont mind my asking

I think I answered this q on this blog already? Maybe? But anyway, I don’t exactly mind it, but I can’t say I share the headcanon myself - for one, because I’m of the opinion that their bodies are built to withstand a safe use of their quirks (a bit like you can’t break a leg by simply walking, you know), so in general I’m not a fan of headcanons that include damages caused by simply doing what their bodies were born to do? 

But also because generally, even under the assumption that his body isn’t made to hold up with his explosions, isn’t it awfully convenient how only his ears take damage in these scenarios? What about his eyes? How come he can still see with no problems even with the continuous exposure to the explosions’ light? How about his hair? How come he can stand so close to fire without it ever being damaged by it? His palms have thicker skin and we know that thanks to his UA file, but what about the rest of his body? How come he can stand smack in the middle of an Howitzer Impact without getting even slightly burnt? When you say “only his ears aren’t made to withstand his explosions” what you’re telling me is that his whole body is tailord to deal with his quirk but his ears, and that just feels unrealistic to me - by which I mean, when this is the scenario we’re talking about, you can’t give the fault of the damage to Bakugou’s quirk. It’s a problem his body has, not a natural consequence of having that sort of quirk. And imho with those premises you sort of end up with a different kind of story, you’re supposed to write it differently - that’s what I think, at least

Anon said: Maybe the reason Baku raises his voice so often is because he can’t hear very well, which isn’t due to his explosions, rather, he was born with bad hearing to protect him from taking damage by them.. and then his other senses are sharper to even it out, and his body can even subconsciously notice air vibrations, resulting in really fast reflexes.

Ah, this is also another reason why I’m not a huge fan of the headcanon - don’t get me wrong! If you like it then go on, I’m not trying to stop anyone from enjoying ideas and possibilities!! But personally I like Bakugou not having any reason to be loud-mouthed and rude, that’s just his personality and how the environment he grew up in made him, and lately I’ve seen the hc used to justify his behaviour more than I like? Bakugou being an asshole is just who he is, and I love it! I love that his life made him like that and I love that he’s working hard to fix that flaw, giving him an external reason, something he has no control over, to justify his personality changes the core of his character too much, and that’s not something I’d ever want to do tbh

And it’s also cool to think that he was somewhat genetically engineered to be better in a fight to compensate for a lack of earing (though again, why only his ears and not his eyes or his sense of tact too), but that goes to cut on all the hard work he put in becoming as good as he is, right? If that’s what you like than who am I to stop you! But Bakugou’s hardworking nature is one of the things I love about him, I don’t really feel like taking away from him all the effort and work he put through the years in becoming as good as he is now

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi, I don't know if you're accepting any more prompts rn or what but I'm feeling super super super low and I hate my exams, I hate studying and I used to love it and I feel like I'm stuck and there's no way out and idk, I don't see myself getting out of my family's grasp and going anywhere and I was going through my tags and your works make me so happy, so if you could, drarry/linny but which boosts morale? And maybe makes me want to study I'd give anything for that. Thanks for reading my rant♥♥

I am always taking prompts (I can’t always get to them for awhile but I do my best).  I’m so sorry you’re struggling and I know sometimes when you’re in a tight space it can feel as if it will stay that way forever but I hope you’re feeling a little better now and I want you to know that one small thing can always change our lives in unexpected ways. Have hope and stay strong.  And I hope this can cheer you up even in the smallest of ways.


Harry fiddles with the book in his lap, unable to focus on studying with the sounds of exasperation and stress coming out of Malfoy’s mouth as he studies.  It has been on the tip of Harry’s tongue to ask if he is alright, or needs a break, for the last two hours but every time he thinks he’s made up to his mind and starts to make even the smallest noise Draco just looks up from his book and shoots Harry a death glare.

He knows Draco is nervous for the exams beginning tomorrow, knows he wants to do well.  And yet he can’t for the life of him fathom how Draco, because it was definitely Draco now, has changed so much in the last twenty four hours.  The softness, the openness, the biting humor and hints of kindness are gone.  Draco has been snapping at him all week but in the last day he’d become so tense Harry can’t even look at him without incurring his wrath.

“Draco-”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“I don’t care, I don’t have time for this.  Just zip it I will hex you into next week.”  Harry snorts in disbelief earning himself a look that would send anyone else running from the room.

Making up his mind, Harry slams his book shut and patters across the room to sit on the edge of Draco’s bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight.  “I’m not scared of you.”

“Wonderful.  A lifetime of work thrown away all because of a few measly kisses.”

“Oh I don’t know if I would call them that, you weren’t that bad of a kisser.”

And that’s it, he’s done it, broken Draco’s trance as Draco looks up at him a look of annoyance on his face, but there’s something else there too even if Harry isn’t entirely sure what.  “I am a fucking superb kisser, Potter, and don’t you forget it.”

Harry drops his hand, unable to hide his own shock as he stares at the other boy.  “When would I get a chance to forget?”

Draco looks decidedly uncomfortable as he coughs, picking his book back up off the bed and refusing to look at Harry again.  “After…just after exams.  When we leave.”

“What are you talking about?”

Draco slams his book shut with much more force than necessary, the sound echoing loudly in the small room like the aftershocks of a curse.  “I. Heard. You.  Last week.  Telling Weasley about the job offers.  My god Potter half of England’s Quidditch teams want you to play for them and an open invitation to the Aurors….you’ve got your pick of the future you want.  Which by the way I’m clearly not a part of since you didn’t mention any of them to me.”

Harry swallows down his guilt at hiding the offers, not wanting to admit that talking about the future was exactly what Harry didn’t want to do but for entirely different reasons.  He doesn’t want to confess that the idea of leaving Hogwarts terrifies him, that he has no idea what he wants to do, that he doesn’t feel ready to be an adult.  After a lifetime of feeling responsible for the world Harry wants nothing more than to fuck away from all responsibility, not forever, but for a little while longer.

“That’s what I thought,” Draco mumbles, misinterpreting Harry’s silence.  His icy tone cuts through Harry’s thoughts like a knife.

“I didn’t tell you because I’m not taking them.”

“What do you mean you’re not taking them?  Which one?” 

Draco sounds as scandalized as Harry had expected.  He shrugs, as if turning down multiple career opportunities is nothing.  “None of them.”

“What the bloody fuck is wrong with you, Potter?”

Harry steels himself, summoning his courage and knowing this conversation will reveal far more than he was prepared, but knowing with a sort of certainty that he feels about nothing else that it is the right thing to do.

“Because…because I’m tired of it.  All of it.  I love flying, god I love flying, but I don’t want to be watched anymore.  I couldn’t stand all those people watching and cheering and hoping for a victory with my name on their lips.  And the Aurors can all go fuck themselves if they think I want to spend the rest of my life chasing down Dark Wizards.”  He pasues, unable to look at Draco’s face but taking courage in the cold hand that reaches out to hold his own.  “Fuck, Draco, I know you’re mad because you didn’t get any job offers and you should have because you’re brilliant and determined and you’ve worked hard to prove yourself and I’m sorry everyone else doesn’t see that yet, but one day they will…..but for now….I think just this once maybe the Wizarding World can just go fuck themselves.”

At this Draco laughs, it starts out small as if Draco doesn’t even mean to but when Harry looks up at him, Draco’s lips are curled into his mouth as he bites on them trying to contain his laughter.  It makes Harry feel strong in a way he isn’t used too.  He squeezes Draco’s hand and continues.

“I was gonna wait…until after exams but I was thinking about, well about fucking off.  I don’t even know where to.  Gods we can go anywhere..America, France, I don’t care you can pick just please come with me.”

“Yes.”

Harry looks up, his mouth falling open in shock because he’d expected to have a lot more convincing to do.  But Draco is just smiling at him, and it makes something in Harry break because he wants to hold on to that memory forever.

“Really?  Yes?”

Draco rolls his eyes, but there is a fondness in them.  “Did you really think I’d say no to trotting around the globe with my ridiculously fit boyfriend living the life of leisure and having sex whenever I please?”

“Oh, well when you put it that way,” Harry whispers, moving to his knees and crawling across the bed until he’s straddling Draco’s lap, knocking his book to the floor in the process.  If Draco notices he doesn’t say anything.

“So this boyfriend of yours?  Do you think….do you think you love him?” Harry whispers, his fingers brushing across Draco’s cheek.

“The word is so quiet Harry almost misses it.  “Yes.”

This time its Harry who laughs, feeling a sort of delirious happiness bubbling up inside of him that makes him dizzy.   “S’good…because he loves you too.”