i just don't have anything better to do in my life....

Transformers Animated Season 4 Preliminary Episode Guide

My decrepit-ass scanner appears to have died after many years of service, so I am just gonna type these up.  If I get it working again, I will add scans!

These are all taken from a two-page spread in the newest (Oct/Nov 2016) issue of the Transformers Collector’s Club official magazine.  Issue 71.


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so i know alec being the first one to say i love you would be so so cute and i’m very much about it but um side idea: magnus says it first. and oh!! better: it’s on accident. 

i mean of course he 1000% means it!! it’s just that he’s already known his feelings for alec for a while now and it’s become this very normal thing in magnus’ life. like the sky is blue, water is wet, the clave is The Worst, and magnus bane loves alexander lightwood. see? simple. 

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pt. 1  |  pt. 2  |  pt. 3  |  pt. 4  |  pt. 5  |  pt. 6  |  pt. 7  |  pt. 8  |  pt. 9  |  pt. 10

Stiles makes it home.  Mostly.  He has his hand on the knob but then kind of just sinks down to his knees and starfishes face-down over the threshold, half in his apartment and half in the hall.  This feels like as good a place as any to live out the rest of his life, gets a nice draft and everything.

That’s how Scott and Lydia find him when Scott gets home twenty minutes later.

Scott crouches down next to his head and squawks out an alarmed: “Stiles, Jesus, what happened?”

Stiles turns his head so his cheek is pressed flat to the floorboard and he can see Scott’s concerned puppy expression under his fringe.  “I met him.”  It sounds like a death sentence the way he’s said it, all croaky and broken.  In a way, it kind of is so fair play to Stiles.  “I—We talked.  He asked me to come back tomorrow.”  He props himself up with his hands on the floor, halfway to standing but not that invested in it yet.

Scott frowns at him.  “Why do you look like the world just ended then?”  Stiles flops back down unhappily and Scott points a finger in his face.  Literally in his face, cheek depressed under Scott’s fingertip.  He pokes a few more times, says, “Because that all sounds like really good news.”

Stiles shifts his cheek away from Scott, which puts him squashed-nose-down against their floor again.  He blinks into the darkness from his own shadow.  “I’m in love with him,” he mumbles to himself, groans.  “This is so stupid, I know, Lydia, shut up” he points at where she was standing against the doorframe before he returned to his friend the floor and stabs at her with his finger, “—preemptively shut up—but he actually is it.  He’s my person.”  Stiles rolls over like a depressed seal, sits up and digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, making starbursts and orange blobs bloom behind the lids.  “I’m… finished.  I just knew it.  He was sitting there, being all—” Stiles lowers his hands, blinks plaintively up at Scott and Lydia, “you know, with the face and the surliness and I thought, I thought, yeah, this face, this surliness, that’s my new forever.”  He drops back down, floor and spine smushed together again.  “Only it isn’t and I am massively, irreparably fucked because he has a girlfriend.  And even if he wasn’t unobtainable, he’s still unobtainable.  In an ‘I have to invent new words because there aren’t ones that so much as touch him’ kind of way.”

Lydia taps the toe of her high heel into his chest and tells him thoughtfully, “You’re depressing, you know that?”  She carefully sips from the same latte cup she had earlier, purses her lips.  “Also, did you say tomorrow?  Your computer science midterm is tomorrow.”

Stiles pops upright, eyes wide. Nooooo.  That can’t—it isn’t—goddamn it!   “Oh shit.  Shit.  Fuck.  Shit.  I can’t meet him tomorrow.”  His midterm’s not until late evening but he hasn’t even started the studying process yet.  Which consists of downing a bunch of his Adderall pills, holing up in the library, jamming all related information that’ll stick into the folds of his brain where it’ll later leak out to be replaced by song lyrics and Friends quotes, sobbing - bitterly, going to the corner gas station for 5am Red Bulls, an hour or so of unscheduled and repeated cat naps while he slaps himself in the face to try to spark consciousness, drooling, desperate crying, panicked reading and, finally, acceptance that he will not pass.  Until he miraculously does (about an 87% success rate on that).

There was no room for Derek in that.  Derek eclipses everything, even the Friends quotes.  Stiles can’t see him and retain anything to do with computers on the same day.

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I Love You

There’s a lot of hate in the world right now. There always has been, but it seems to be running rampant right now, and I can’t tell if that’s because more people are paying attention to the news and more things are being reported or if it’s just a really terrible time for a lot of people right now. But either way, there are a lot of people that have to live with and are affected by this hate, and to you I want to say that I’m sorry and I love you.

Sorry’s don’t help, I know. “Keeping you in my thoughts” won’t help you deal with the loss of a loved one or the fear of being targeted because of your appearance. I’m not the easiest person to talk to, and I doubt there’s anything I’d be able to say to make you feel better if you did try to talk to me, but I’m here for you if you need me.

You’re strong. You’re beautiful/handsome/amazing. You matter. You can’t stop terrible people from doing terrible things, you may fear for your life based on decisions your government makes, and you may even have to fear celebrating with friends/family/your country because one person could decide to ruin it. But you can’t let that fear control you; you deserve all the happiness in the world and you shouldn’t let anyone keep you from achieving that. But please, stay safe, protect the people you love, and don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t worthy of the things you deserve, whether that be happiness, compassion, love, or respect.

I love you all~



“I think my biggest struggle was also, oddly enough, my biggest motivation. As crazy as it might seem I had a ton of people tell me that I couldn’t do this. Or wouldn’t do it. And I’m grateful because it was that kind of "eff you” to them that gave me the motivation to be like ‘you know what? I’m gonna do it even bigger and better than I thought I could because you told me I couldn’t.’ So any time somebody says you can’t do something or rolls their eyes or whatever, don’t get upset. Just go 'alright, I’m awake now, dawg! Let’s go! I’m gonna go back to work or whatever it is you do.’ That’s an energy you can’t replace with anything else.”

anonymous asked:

hi!! i love your fics and i think it's impressive that you put out around 8k once even twice a week? so i was just curious how you're not feeling burnt out? what's your approach to your usual writing work ethic??

ahhh thank you so much!

the easy answer is that i wouldn’t say i’m.. not burnt out. there is a level of exhaustion that comes with it—not the writing itself, i very much enjoy the process, but sometimes, you know, life gets in the way and all that, so i definitely do get tired and sometimes i’m not in the mood for writing, etc. 

i think i really just prefer having something to write than none at all? and i always feel like i have so much to say, and still so much i owe the story / characters i’m writing that it always feels better to get those 8k out than sit there restless not producing anything bc something else is getting in the way. so i just.. make time for it, however way i can. one thing i learned from writing for a newspaper for quite some time is how to really stick to deadlines, so over the few months of trying out long fic, i’ve been forcing myself to stick to self-imposed deadlines. it’s really more like i’m blackmailing myself into finding time for it, but it keeps me productive. like, when i know i have time to write for something, however little, i’ll force myself to write at least 3k within that hour or something, no matter what. sometimes i’ll come back to it and hate it so much that it immediately goes into the trash, but sometimes i’ll come back and just grumble through it before i continue on from where i left off there. it’s just. a give and take, trial and error process. i’m still learning. 

it gives my writing purpose, though, the way writing the thing gives me purpose, so—my writing work ethic is really just. codependence with the thing i’m writing. and the main thing with yoi is that i really, really, really want to create for it, bc it has given me something that i want to create for, so. it’s really also a personal thing. 

(for what it’s worth, more objectively, it helps if i switch gears when writing smth gets too much. i always try to switch narrators every fic — with the exception of my four consecutive victor pov fics, bc i love. writing. victor. it helps keep my own head for the story fresh, etc. when ltmmly got a little too overwhelming, i wrote from sara’s head for a bit. things like that. i do believe you shouldn’t force yourself to write so much that it feels like work, but if it’s just an issue of being so sick of my own writing i can’t bear it, then it usually helps. when i. switch over and forget one story for a bit. then return to it from a new angle.)

tag 9 people that you’d like to get to know better

I was tagged by @antigones . (Hello, love!)

how old are you? 18

what’s your current job? High school student stressing about college

what are you talented at? Eh…procrastinating. Writing (poetry, stories, etc.) Sometimes I’m a decent artist…And I’m not too bad of an actor (theater of course)

what is a big goal you are working towards (or have already achieved)? Right now it’s just figuring out what I want to do with my life tbh.

what is your aesthetic? do you collect anything?

Hmm, my aesthetic is a wide variety of things…Mythology, space, the ocean, the whole concept of “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls”, and anything lgbt.

what’s a topic you always talk about? Social justice, star wars (cause I’m a nerd), mythology.

what’s a pet peeve of yours? Honestly, when people try to argue with you or state their opinion on something they know nothing about. Just do your research.

good advice to give? Uh…“If you don’t have passion, then you have nothing. If you don’t believe in what you are doing, why would anyone else?” You’ve got to care about the things you’re doing in your life.

what are three songs you’d recommend? Two Weeks by FKA Twigs, Magic Tree and Then I Let Myself Go by Craig Armstrong, and A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley

tagging @lourdylourd @saintophelia @dirtbagophelia

@cosettefauchlevent @sapphicsavage @madeinthesea @clitorsaurusex @soaplesbian @myregardstosoulandromance
Random confession

I get very… distressed when I think about Damian. Toby and Zeo are still around and well, and Jack seems to be doing better, but where is Damian? Is he okay? I mean, the kid was with Ziggurat for a long time and that itself is bound to be an unhealthy situation.
(I just want him to have a life without arrangements and be okay and happy and healthy and sane and it stresses me out that I couldn’t find him in a cameo or anything like where is he people???)

Suicide is starting to seem like the only rational option left again. I’ve fucking tried, I’ve tried getting better by myself, tried reaching out for help, nothing ever gets better, I just become more and more of a mess with anything that happens. I’m not functional at all anymore, stopped going to school, music used to be my life, now it kills me that I don’t even have the strength to pick up the guitar. The worst part is that my life is great right now, great environment, great people, great experiences, I just had the best week of my life, why can’t I be okay then? It’s me, I’m what’s wrong, and I’ve always been like this, literally ever since I can remember, what am I supposed to do then? Just keep living my life in agony blindly believing that some day things really will get better? And until then? I’ll just keep being a burden to everyone around me? There’s no way out, everytime I think “this is it, I’ve never been worse than this, it can only get better from here” something happens and knocks me down even harder. So honestly, what now?

i’ve been trying to be better and eat healthy and try and lose weight but it’s really hard, especially late at night because those are my binge hours and i don’t really have anything i want to eat at my house that’s healthy enough. and i just feel shitty because i’m trying to be better but the people who actually lose weight and get healthy i feel like they devote their whole life to it and i don’t think i can do that. i don’t think i can work out every single day and eat healthy stuff every single day. 

Bill, when I got your letter, I was at the Co. CP. Of course, everyone was interested to hear from you. Well, they said read it out loud. Well, the Co and the rest of company headquarters were there. I got halfway through and started to cry in front of all the guys. I just had to take off, Bill. Boy, I never felt so hollow inside in all my life. From now on when you write, please… leave anything about your leg out of my letters. Just do it as a favor for me. I guess I’m not near as good a man as I thought I was. […] All the guys told me how you took it cooler than anybody yet. Laying there shooting the shit when you were hit like that. Some guys about shit when they get nicked with a bullet and you get hit like that and just shoot the shit. Well, I just want to tell you right now, you’re so much better of a man than I am it isn’t even funny. I don’t mean only in combat either. You’re better than any officer or EM I’ve ever seen or ever will. You’re the first guy whom I’ve ever met I could hit it with and it’s just because you’re such a swell guy… For God’s sake, Bill, don’t let it get you down… I know you’re the kind of guy who will see it through to the end… I expect to have a lot of fun when we get back to the States. Buddy, we’ll rip her apart when I get back.
—  Johnny Martin in a letter to Bill Guarnere, January 12, 1945

Watching a video with young Arthur Maxson from Fallout 3 really changed my perception of him in Fallout 4. You see, Fallout 3 I played, it was translated and dubbed, and Squire Maxson’s very strange speech pattern was lost. Basically, he doesn’t talk like a kid. He talks like someone who’s been brought up by really old books and weird adults. And he totally talks like that in Fallout 4 too! It’s just sad. I don’t think he ever had a friend, or hanged out with other initiates or knights. Or had drinks to celebrate his achievements. Like, he saved his patrol when he was 12, and everyone is having whiskey, but Art is 12, so he’s still a child, so he’s excluded. Then he kills a Deathclaw in close combat when he’s 13, and people are like, “Ugh, here’s a sweetroll, kid, you get better.” I don’t think he ever had a moment in life where he was equal with other knights. He just went from a kid, who was below, to the elder, who was above. He’s just so isolated, his head is full of Brotherhood code or whatever it’s called, some old books, and probably no understanding of real life in the wasteland. And after Sarah died, I don’t think there was anyone close to him to talk about everything.

It’s funny that the West Coast Brotherhood, and even Danse and other East Coast brothers, think that Maxson is going back to the original goal of preserving the old tech. But he actually continues Lyons’ work, just in a way he undestands. He wants to protect people of the Commonwealth from the Institute. But he doesn’t have Elder Lyons’ experiense, age, and understanding of what people out there want.

I like the comparison of Owyn Lyons to the original Vault Dweller, who was kicked out of an isolated community, and discovered that the world was not what he was taught about it, that it was more complicated, and not just black and white, and that’s why he changed the purpose of the Brotherhood. Maxson, he never saw these things. But he learnt from Lyonses that helping people is good, and super mutants are bad. I wonder, if Maxson had a pilgrimage or something before becoming an Elder, a Quest for the Water Chip of his own, what would have changed? I even think it may not be too late for him, because during the Blind Betrayal it’s possible to make him show flexibility. I want a story about how one day Elder Maxson got down from his Prydwen, dressed as a wastelander, and went out there to get to know people better. That would be interesting :)

I don’t want to give up on Maxson and declare him an evil bigoted moron, because I still see that lonely child in him, and children grow up eventually, sometimes into good people.


Sorry for the late reply, been a little busy today.
But I suppose that is true that a lot of celebrities have done that… that makes me feel a little better lol. But idk really about my mother, I kinda feel she’ll be more disappointed than worried- My relationship with her is a little complicated 😅 and I’m not really sure what I could do if I do leave college. I could sign up for job seekers allowance and try and find a job but that’s pretty much it.

And sorry to kinda be a bit depressing here but I pretty much lost the drive to do anything with my life a little while ago. I don’t know what I want anymore and not sure if I care.

Aaaaaa so sorry I’m not sure if that made any sense or if I’m contradicting myself.

But thank you so so much for the advice dear. I will be taking into consideration what you said! Hope you’re doing well ❤

My life revolves around my work like honestly I’m always like “gotta get enough sleep for work” or “have to buy new clothes for work” or “need to make enough lunches for work” like I literally Do Not have a life outside of my work and I don’t even LIKE my job?

What should I go to school for? I kind of want to go for something business related/ management/ marketing. Maybe makeup artistry. Something specific that I can build a career off of–even if I don’t particularly like the career I think it’s better than working basically minimum wage at a place I don’t really enjoy but that my life still revolves around.

Plus I think I need to be in a structured setting for a while because my disassociating is really bad. I just don’t knoooowwwwww

I want to look things up when I get home but I barely have a working computer lmao. Plus I have to make lunches

For work


Help me figure out what I should go to school for because I am bad at making my own decisions and committing to them.

Also, which of you would be interested in breathing down my neck to make sure I get work done like…..drawings…… Because you know how much I enjoy drawing but how little I actually do it and THAT is what I want to do but I realized I am incapable of getting creative unless, apparently, there is someone breathing down my neck so

Who wants to do it hmu

k i know this post has probably been made before but tbh we’re all pretty much shit at doing what our dominant function is supposed to ‘do’ like i feel if you wanna see a function being used in it’s pure, simplified form (which, tbh is probably not the healthiest thing for someone) You’d probably wanna look more to the tertiary function of someone else’s type.

Like Ne is usually described as being pretty hyperbolic in it’s perception of the world, and yeah, as an ENTP i do tend to speak in hyperbole, but you know who’s /really/ good at speaking in hyperbole and diving into all that ridiculous, surface level Ne crap? ESxJs. Hell, they’re better at it than i am. (And don’t even get me started about IxFJs and Ti…..like, if u need an example of Ti and cynicism just read how a melancholic ((not in the temperament sense)) IxFJ writes –and tbh just look at one of those negative suggestion blogs i’m like 500% sure they’re all INFJs)

I mean, there’s that post floating around that summarizes how Si dominant types are really forgetful…..(and part of me feels that has to do with subjectivity and the fact  that since a lot of their tangible experiences are so closely linked to their sort of identity, the brief ones are basically just disposable) and people came to a general consensus that ‘’Yeah, Si in it’s finest does not equal a good memory” (Jeez i should find the post) HERE! (it’s p good it’by @littlemissintp) 

Anyway I was just thinking about how Fe is prided as being the ‘’communication function’’ and as an ExTP, I do find that Fe does play a big role in how i go about getting what i want, but once again, it’s in a very simple sense. I can do the ‘’i’m listening” face on command, shift my voice around a little and work the situation to my advantage, and you would think, having that as a dominant function would make you this charismatic, manipulative Casanova type…..but i find that very rarely that’s the case.

Every ExFJ i’ve met (which is only like 4 so maybe i should keep my mouth shut) has been absolutely /shit/ when it comes to communicating what they’re /actually/ feeling. Like, the ones i knew were /so/ fucking bad at it, that they’d wind up in really complicated situations just because they /nodded ‘yes’ at the wrong time/. Yeah. (And I am still fucking astounded that something like that could happen, but i suppose when you’re so conflict averse that your ‘’roundabout’’ ways of approaching every situation actually get you into /more/ trouble…..It makes sense)

Like their Fe focuses so much on the external situation, that they forget that they’re not obligated to be the one to stabilize it. (And that probably has to do with some sort of extroverted looping situation so i suppose it might not apply to /all/ Fe-doms) But you get me……

I mean, that was just an example, I’d like to ramble on about more types, but I don’t particularly wanna put it under a readmore (don’t get me started on how arbitrary ENxPs can be) (Or INxJs and ‘’truth’’ LOL) 

Tl;dr: I’ve an idea that our dominant function is a lot more refined and complicated than the descriptions can summarize, to the point that it can actually be counterproductive to what it’s /supposed/ to do (and it’s probably a point that’s been made before but whatever)