i just don't even know what to do with myself right now


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ahaha wait, what the heck…? how does UNDYNE know anything about all that…?

i think alphys more than anyone would be very understanding of when someone makes a mistake or keeps a secret. but just what kind of mistakes were happening when they were all underground…?

this is another page that was originally 2 pages of 3 and 4 panels respectively, then combined into 1. so it’s technically like getting two pages! i guess. sorry if it’s one-page updates for awhile. it’s a busy time of year!

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Imagine having to choose between Jared and your fiancé

I finish sending the last email, almost throwing my laptop across the room so I wouldn’t have to answer any more questions about Jared’s schedule. It’s almost 6 in the afternoon and I should have been at home at five. Jared still hasn’t appeared and his inbox fills way too fast for me to handle it.

When I hear the front door shut, I sigh in relief, one more minute and I would have gone crazy.

“What are you doing here? People are going to think I exploit you!” Jared laughs, entering the room with bags from Whole Foods, “You look really tired”

I am. But I just forget about everything the minute his eyes lay on mine. I start playing with the ring on my hand, remembering why I can’t allow myself to get consumed by his gaze and the way his body reacts to my intent of distraction.

“Well, you look even prettier when you are tired” He says, leaving his bags on his desk, I can feel all the air in my body stopping, not being able to continue its course, “How is that even possible?”

You can’t, I start saying to myself, stop it.

“Sometimes, when you find something that lightens your day, even the most tired people can… Glow”

Oh no, you did not just say that. So silly.

I can notice a small change on the way his jaw tightens, I know I’m saying this words because of him, but he doesn’t seem to get it. His head points to my hands, and a forced smile appears on his lips.

“You going out with… What’s his name?”

“Kevin” I answer, even though I’m sure he knows my fiancé’s name.

“Right” He sighs, still on his feet by his desk, “What time? Because it’s already 6 o'clock”

I check the clock on my wrist, I have an hour and a half to go home and get ready. Enough time to be able to stay for an extra couple of minutes in here.

“7:30” I say getting on my feet.

We share another look before changing our gaze completely. I save my laptop on my bag, check my phone, put my jacket on, but I’m still not ready to go. Everyday was the same. I would be happy at home, spending the night with Kevin, waking up in the morning to have breakfast together. But then, I would have to come here, hating myself half of the day, not believing the way my heart would race whenever my boss was near me. And by the time I had to go home, go back to my fiancé, to my reality, I just wouldn’t want to leave.

“I’ll see you monday morning“ I mutter, adjusting the bag on my shoulder.

Jared is now sitting on his desk, displaying all his food. His head raises to look me in the eyes, a small smile appearing on his lips. I know I’m smiling too, and it makes me feel like an idiot.

You’re engaged, you’re engaged…

“Have fun tonight“ He says, but I can see in his eyes that he doesn’t really mean it.

I nod, spending at least a whole more minute just staring at him. I have to stop, this is becoming really creepy.

By the time I decide I really need to leave, my phone starts buzzing. Kevin’s name appears on the screen, and I ignore the phone call till I’m inside my car. He sounds so happy, as always, and I try to imitate his tone as best as I can.

Once I get home I start getting ready for my date. A quick shower, dry my hair, pick my outfit and finally make up. My mind should be busy with the task at hand, but I can’t keep Jared’s smile off my head. I start wondering about him. Is he eating alone or did he invite someone else? A friend? A… lover?

The thought makes me uneasy, and I try to find an excuse to just give him a call, something that I forgot to tell him, or something that I may have left on my desk. Anything. By the time I dial his number I still don’t have an excuse, but I’m doing it anyway.

“It’s almost 7:30” He says from the other side of the line.

“I know” I mutter, giving another look at my ring, “I’m ready”

“Loverboy hasn’t appeared yet?”

I stay quiet for a couple of seconds, processing his almost angry tone of voice and the fact that he just called Kevin “Loverboy”.

“He’s on his way” I mutter.

The silence that comes after my answer is awkward, and I just want to punch myself in the face for calling Jared before my date.

“So, why did you call?”

“I think I forgot my… my…” I stutter, trying to think of something, when the thought of actually forgetting something at his house takes over my mind, “My glasses, I think they are in the kitchen”

“Oh, let me see”

I hear how he stands from whenever he’s sitting; his steps, the sound of a door, more steps. My doorbell rings right at the moment I hear the sound of the phone being put back on his ear.

“They are here”

“Good, can I go pick them up?” I ask, starting to walk towards the door.

“Now?” He asks laughing, and the sound of the ring makes him shut, “I think loverboy arrived”

“I have to go, thanks, Jared”

I hang, avoiding hear him say goodbye. I sigh deeply before having the guts to open the door, and change my expression of disappointment to complete happiness.

I’m engaged, I repeat myself.

Kevin doesn’t notice how distracted I am during our way to the restaurant, or how I avoid looking him in the eyes. I feel guilty for having another man in my mind, for wishing it was Jared who was in the car with me. But the night goes on, and I hear him talk about work, and how Jay, his best friend, almost broke a leg trying to get a date with one of their co-workers.

In the middle of dinner, the topic of our marriage starts coming out. Kevin has found a venue and wants me to see it, he thinks that it would be a bit small for all the people we want to invite, but he thinks we can handle it.

I nod, feeling a strange pinch on my chest. Kevin starts to notice how distant I’m being, and I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. The bathroom is not empty, and the eyes of a girl go straight to my face. I don’t know her, but a smile appear on her lips.

“You escaped too?”

I nod, taking my phone out of purse, I have a text from Jared and I’m too on edge to read it right this second.

“I think my boyfriend is going to propose” The girl says, and the black mane falls covering her eyes when she lowers her head, “I’m not ready”

“Why not?” I ask her, leaning on one of the sinks.

“I’m not sure I love him enough to spend the rest of my life by his side” The girl confesses, and the familiarity of the situation makes me gasp, “I love him, I know I do. But what if I say yes and I end up finding the right one when it’s already too late?”

Why know? Right when my mind is already too busy with my own situation.

“If you say yes, and you find the one, what would you do?” I ask her, and I can feel the trembling on my voice.

“I don’t know, what else could I do but make the right decision for my heart?”

I nod, changing my gaze from the girl to my phone, deciding to read Jared’s message.

“Tell loverboy that if he doesn’t buy you champagne and strawberries, tells you how much he loves you, and ends the night with the best sex someone could ever offer, I’m taking you away from him”

“You’re crying” I hear the girl whisper.

I nod, “I think I have to make the right decision for my heart”

“Me too” She says, walking towards me to hold my hand, “Wish me luck”

“Break a leg” I mutter, squeezing her hand for a second.

The nameless girl leaves the bathroom, leaving me alone with my tears. I let them free for a few seconds, finally deciding it’s time to make the right decision.

I don’t even dry the tears, or reapply my make, before I get out of the bathroom. Kevin is finishing his glass of wine when his eyes lay on the state of my face.

“Oh my, did something happened in the bathroom? Are you alright?”

I shake my head, taking my seat in front of him.

I’m engaged, I tell myself, but I just don’t want to be.

“Please, tell me what’s going on, you’re scaring me”

I stay in silent, but my eyes fall to my hands. I play one last time with my ring, taking it off to place it in front of him. Kevin’s eyes dance from my face to the ring, and a nervous laugh escapes his lips.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t do it” I whisper, “I’m so sorry, Kevin, I can’t”

I stand from my seat, leaving a quick kiss on his forehead before walking outside the restaurant. I’m shaking, my whole body is trembling and I just want to run away from there. I catch the cab I get a glimpse of, almost shouting the address to the driver.

I read Jared’s message another time, thinking of a way to answer it, but there are no words for this. So I just wait.

The driver announces that we have reached destination a few minutes after my almost breakdown. I thank him, giving him a generous tip for having to deal with me in this situation. I stand in front of the door, thinking of ways to explain what I’m doing there when I was supposed to be having dinner with my fiancé. Well, ex fiancé.

I decide that if I don’t right that doorbell right this second, I may end up taking another cab home. I can hear the footsteps on the other side of the door, and Jared’s image appears in front me. He’s shirtless, only wearing pajama pants, and I can feel my soul falling to the ground.

“Hey” I mumble, folding my arms over my belly.

“You came for your glasses?” He asks, and I can see the glimpse of a smile.

“Maybe” I answer.

Jared moves from the door to let me in. When the door shuts behind me, it’s just a matter of seconds before my back is leaning against it. Jared’s body is pressed against mine, his nose caressing my temples.

“Your hand is lacking something” He mutters, and automatically, both of my hands reach for his neck, “I like it”

I use both of my hands to make his lips crash with my own. The kiss is desperate, his thigh getting position between my legs. I can’t even control my body, letting it do whatever it wants, following his movements.

“So…” He whispers out of breath, breaking our kiss to grab my hips, making me fold my legs on his hips, “Loverboy didn’t have champagne?”

“No, he didn’t” I laugh, reaching for his lips again.

“Then, I’m allowed to take you away from him?” He asks, cupping my face with one hand.

“I think you did that a long time ago” I mutter, before receiving another one of his deep kisses.

The kiss rapidly transforms into something else, and right there on the door, his pajama pants falls to the floor, and my dress and panties follow them. We can’t stop kissing, we have a magnet on our mouths that makes them play with each other, even when it gets harder. A moan makes me part from him when he starts filling me. I can feel the growing sensation of completeness in my chest, his body feeling as the missing piece of the puzzle that is my life.

My hands take hold of his arms, finding a way to make me follow his rhythm. His eyes hold my gaze, biting my lips, his hands clenching on my hips. This is everything I wanted, everything I needed, and he knows it.

I can hear myself screaming his name, but at the same time thinking that this is nothing but a dream. But this is real. I know it. I can feel his orgasm and mine crushing in one single moment.

From the moment our lips touched I knew I had make the right decision. But now, looking at his eyes shine, his lips forming a smile just for me, I am completely sure I made the right decision for my heart.

anonymous asked:

Okay so first, you don't need to answer this is you don't want to or it makes you uncomfortable, but basically school has always been one of the main reasons for my depression and anxiety so this year I finally got to do online school which is what I always wanted when things got really bad for me, but now in the second semester things are really bad for me, I'm really anxious and I have way too many missing assignments that I can't bring myself to do which makes me even more (cont)

i really don’t know how i am with giving advice i’m sorry if this is not great ;;;; but i think the main thing here  is to just realize there’s no set time line or set path for you to follow. try not to get caught up in thinking you have to do this or that ( graduate+take classes+and so on ) by a certain age or time and just try to think about what feels right for you and what will make your day something to look forward to, if it’s slowly working hard on some academic goal or leaving school and finding something else you’re passionate about or have motivation for.

 it also sounds like right now you have a lot on your plate?? so maybe even just taking fewer class ( even if it takes longer to graduate, that’s fine ! ) would be helpful and give you more time to yourself to find something else you may enjoy or to just recharge after all that work.

life is so unpredictable but if you can find some way to be happy or at least at peace with yourself, i think that’s something to be proud of. taking care of yourself and your mental health is a job in itself. 

i hope you don’t feel alone in any of this! i’m confused about my future too and my anxiety holds me back like crazy when it comes to things that others do so easily. but i’m really, really glad your mom is supportive of your choices above everything else! i’m glad you have that kind of person to turn to!

and i wish you the best of luck with every thing, things are really tough right now but hopefully soon the clouds will part! take care.

It was a different kind of school

From them I learned
That nothing I do is right
That everything is my fault
That I must always apologize

From them I learned
That an apology is never enough
That I must pay penance
For everything that happens
Whether it’s my doing or not
Because it’s doesn’t matter who’s fault it is
It’s alway mine

From them I learned
That an apology means nothing
People just give them for appearances
Give them to make themselves feel better
Because they’re just going to turn around
And do the same thing
Over and over again

From them I learned
Never to trust myself
Because I don’t know what I’m doing
I’m always selfish
I only hurt people

From them I learned
That I don’t deserve to have friends
That I ruin everything I touch
That no one will ever truly care about me
Because of what I’ve done

I believed them for a long time and now
I’m trying to learn
That not everything I do is wrong
That apologies aren’t a trap
Even my own
No matter how selfish I think I look for giving them
And that I can have friends without hurting them
Though that one is a hard lesson
When I’ve lost so many
Who make it feel like the truth

So let’s say Wells is alive in canon and fits right in with the core four during both seasons. Now, 2x16. Clarke leaves, and she’s walking through the forest, totally numb and distraught and lost. Then footsteps come up behind her and she whips around, furious, because it better not be Bellamy, because she thought he understood–

Instead, she finds Wells, two bags slung over his shoulder, glaring at her.

When she growls at him, demanding what he’s doing there, he just snorts and chucks a bag at her.

He says: First, don’t be dumb enough to go off on your own without supplies. Second: I’m here because I got myself arrested and sent down to the ground so I could follow you, remember?

For a minute, she can’t speak, and so he does instead.

And I’m still following you. Don’t you know by now, Clarke? I’d follow you anywhere.

You better not slow me down, is all she can manage to choke out, because her heart is in her throat. 

As if, he scoffs, stepping up to walk by her side, in the forest, into the unknown.

Wheel of Time render. 

Took me two days but I managed to finish it!  It took about an hour to render. It looks a bit wonky to me, but I’m very happy with it. 

I created everything in Blender.  

If you want to reblog or repost without my comments please source me. Thanks!

okay I wasn’t gonna make a post about this but I am just so mad right now. “because it was cool??” because it was fucking “cool” MBC thought it was THEIR right to take what rightfully belongs to monsta x and just give it to other groups??? this isn’t just fucking plagiarism it’s RUDE AND DOWNRIGHT DISRESPECTFUL to monsta x. what, they’re not “cool” enough to perform their own choreo?? how dare MBC think that they can just TAKE monsta x’s hard work and pass it along like a FUCKING GAME OF PASS THE PARCEL. istg I have never been this mad before monsta x are already underrated even though they work so hard and MBC adds to it by not even giving them credit for their hard work. I am so angry honestly. monsta x deserves better than this, they really do.

Dear Taylor,
It’s currently 3AM, and I find myself writing to you. You’re the person who I go to when I need comfort or advice, and right now I need both. It’s just hitting me that I’m a senior in high school. I’m 17. Where did my childhood go? I need to know where I’m going to college. I need to know what I want to do. I’m getting asked so many questions and I don’t have answers to them. I’m listening to never grow up and bawling my eyes out because I know that you understand how I’m feeling. You’re the only person I feel 100% comfortable talking to because I know you’re always here to listen when I need you. I’m just so scared of the future. I’m scared of messing up, I’m scared of making the wrong choices, I’m scared that I’m not as smart as everyone says I am, I’m scared I won’t get into college and I’m scared that I won’t figure out what to do. I don’t feel smart or confident, I just feel lost and under so much pressure. I don’t know what to do, I’m feeling so many different things. Sometimes it just gets really overwhelming. I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I just feel like you’re the only person I can talk to. Thanks for being the person who listens, Taylor. Thank you for always being there for me.
Love,
Elise

#ChapelHillShooting

I’m Muslim and I’m scared for myself and my family, from the community that I live in. I had some bad shit said to me after everyone in my school knew that I’m Muslim. I’ve been called way too many things, but I never acted or said anything. I’ve been called a terrorist, uneducated, close-minded. But, in the 2 years that I have been in USA, I tried my best to prove them wrong. When American Sniper came out, shit became even worse. I didn’t know what to do anymore. Then this happened, making me even more scared. I could be shot at any second right now because people are scared of the fact that I’m Muslim. I don’t even wear hijab to make it more obvious, but it just goes around from people to others that they should be scared of me, or careful around me. I’m 16. And I left Iraq because of the terrorists. I came here because the U.S. Offered to protect me, but it turned out completely different. What a society to live in.

I’ve just read about Joseph saying he’d like for Caroline to show up in the series finale of The Originals (which basically means a Klaroline endgame) and I’m in legit tears. I can’t explain how much his comment means to me right now. JUST HOLD ON, EVERYONE.
I Can’t Even

1. Jenny was the star of this episode 

Originally posted by oxygen

2. Pandora being shady as always, but you gotta love her

Originally posted by boldlygiffing

3. Ichabod trying to cheer up a kid the old school way and failing, but we still love you.

Originally posted by ignitetheliight

4. Mills sisters bonding, ‘nough said

Originally posted by apli-caution

5. My poor Abbie getting hurt.

Originally posted by gifsboom

6. Ichabod reaching for Abbie’s hand and my feels just can’t take it.

Originally posted by sugarandicetea

7. Paul Revere the dentist and his bad ass weapon. 

Originally posted by whereareyougoingemma

8. Ichabod being high after seeing the dentist and calling himself adorable.  

Originally posted by funnynhilariousgif

9. Me still not understanding how Betsy Ross plays into all of this.

Originally posted by realhousewivesofatlanta

10. Pandora saying sleepy head and you’re just sitting there and wondering if the writers did that to mess with you, because my feels right now are on high, and I may be going slightly crazy. 

Originally posted by uabua

I know a lot of people are graduating right now (including myself), and I wanted to remind everyone to support your peers regardless of what their path is. Its important to be happy for the people who get full rides to college, but it’s also important to be happy for the people who are going straight to work or taking a gap year or doing anything else. This isn’t even just for graduates, it’s for people with the kind of company that continuously brings you down. If you are surrounded by people who can’t be happy for you and your decisions, you never needed them anyway. Friends that can’t be excited for you and be as positive as you are for them aren’t the kind of people you deserve in your life. Go out and find people who don’t only make you smile, find people that are proud of you for smiling and for everything else you do/will do!