i just didn't remember it

3

We don’t need boys to get along…! Is that bad?

6

“Fortunate Son” from Ao3 by @anna-droid
didn’t draw this from the actual fic but i enjoyed reading it

anonymous asked:

Even though Harry is my favorite actor from the cast, I think his acting is a little over the top in the sneak peek from next episode. I mean I know Magnus is dramatic, but he is sort of coming across as a caricature of who Magnus actually is in that scene.

You know, it’s interesting you point this out because I personally don’t believe this is a misstep on Harry’s part; I think this is a deliberate choice in terms of how Magnus behaves with various people. The reason I say this is because I’ve noticed it’s been a very consistent trait Harry has given Magnus when he’s around those he doesn’t fully trust or know.

I think in S1 and throughout most of 2x01, we see him largely around Alec, someone he’s willing to be more genuine with (Clary, too). But watch him in 1x04 (with Elias where he twirls like 3x in the scene, but also when he’s flirting with Alec while Jace is watching – when he flips that table with his foot, please), 1x07 where Jace and Luke are both present (Jace’s presence is usually the main factor because Magnus isn’t especially fond of Jace), 1x12 during the Institute meeting and when they’re going to find Ragnor (again, Jace (and Hodge) are present). Even the way he approaches Jace and Clary in 1x12 after the kiss is over, there’s a swagger you don’t see when his focus had been Alec.

You’re right, it’s an exaggeration and it’s not representative of who Magnus actually is. But I think that’s the point: it’s a deliberate front he puts up, a way of deflecting people from seeing the real him. Magnus does not like to be seen as who he really is. He’s an extremely guarded individual, and the hair, the makeup, the clothes, the gestures, even his speech patterns – that’s all there to shield him. The real Magnus is a privilege reserved for the rare few who have managed to sneak their way into his heart. At the time of that scene, Simon isn’t one of those people.

4

You know when people quit a fandom and you’re like “kbye” but they linger? Like do they want a ribbon? I’m not sure…

5

✿ endless ships appreciation stiles stilinski & lydia martin (teen wolf)

↳ “I didn’t say it back. You don’t have to.”

I think it's pretty canon now
  • ***During Jaehee's route***
  • MC: I feel bad for Jaehee.
  • Zen: That's because Jumin is a jerk.
  • MC: He really shouldn't---
  • Zen: He's always making her overwork, like last year when he did that meerkat thing even though they were so busy?
  • MC: I didn't know---
  • Zen: Jumin has lots of projects that are non-profit and are all for de-stressing and giving something back to the community, and he takes them as seriously as he does the rest of his business.
  • MC: Ah, that's---
  • Zen: I seriously can't understand how Jumin manages to create more work, and it's not that he doesn't do anything, because he works just as much as everyone else, or possibly more, he's a workaholic and never gets enough rest!
  • MC: ...
  • Zen: Jumin, that jerk -_-
  • MC: I see you're close to Jaehee.
  • Zen: Hm? No, we don't speak much. She might talk to you since you're a girl.
  • MC: ...
  • Zen: Omg, look at the time! I gotta go. Byyye!
  • ***Zen leaves the conversation***
  • MC: ...;;;

I’m slightly disturbed now that I’m replaying Cullen’s scene in Broken Circle. I didn’t remember how… Damaged he was in this scene. Now that I’m paying attention, he was so beyond okay it isn’t even funny. Who thought it was okay ti put him back into service after everything he went through? The things he saw, the things he went through…He wasn’t okay. He was very much not okay, and yet, Cullen went right back to be a Circle templar.

See, the thing is, the order failed Cullen pretty bad at that. He could’ve been sent to stay in a Chantry for a while. Somewhere away from mages. But no. They left him in the very halls he was tortured and saw the people he considered friends die. 

You know what really hurts me? This sentence:

“And to think I once thought we were too hard on you.”

(he said something a bit different to my Warden, since this one isn’t a mage, but it was to the same effect)

Before the events of Broken Circle, Cullen thought that Templars were too harsh on mages. He was, maybe on the way of thinking mages deserved better treatment. He trusted mages enough to be infatuated for one. But then he saw abominations, he was tortured, had his most private thoughts and feelings violated, saw demons killing people left and right, Uldred was doing unspeakable things in a room above Cullen, where he could listem to everything. 

Also look at the place he was trapped in

Look at this. There are bodies and… Corruption everywhere. He got trapped in that place for God knows how long.

His fear turned into some pretty solid hatred. And I think maybe hate was the way he found to cope with all the trauma. It’s better to turn your pain into a weapon you can use against others, than leave it something that will only cut you (and I mean that as a trail of thought, not something you should do. Because it obviously isn’t the best course of action at all. Nor does it absolve anyone for their mistakes).

I don’t blame him for his hatred. I don’t blame him for wanting the mages dead. Anyone in his position probably wouldn’t be able to say something rational or not be dominated by fear and anger. And I pretty much doubt that anyone can go back to normal without help after this on the spot. This is enough to drive anyone mad.

To be quite honest, it’s truly remarkable he managed to snap out of it at all…

anonymous asked:

Do you have a take on Ryan's tragic backstory? (I know you said you actually have a nicer background for him but i thought you might have a dark version too!)

 Anonymous said: What are some of your head cannons for FAHC Ryan?


Ryan didn’t set out to be what he became. Few children dream of becoming devastation. It’s a trope that is thrown around in all kinds of media – redeemable bad guy, killer with a heart of gold. How quaint. Like most things, the real life version is so much darker.

There’s something bleak and awful in a world renown mercenary who still feels for every victim. Something inescapably tragic in finding satisfaction in an act so personally distasteful. Because Ryan’s never been cruel, exactly. Would never dream of torturing an animal, of hurting a child. Doesn’t even enjoy the majority of the dirty work he’s surrounded himself in. Which isn’t to say he doesn’t enjoy any of it. Doesn’t get some level of dark gratification from his own competence, from the fear he’s sown, the reputation he’s nurtured, the safety he’s crafted from blood-soaked screams and scorched white bones. There was a time when the Vagabond was truly as dispassionate as they say, but since joining the Fake AH Crew the mercenary certainly lived up to the gang’s notorious affinity for flare; Ryan always was a bit theatrical, and the only thing worse than an apathetic killer is one who can see the morbid humour in it all.

Ryan’s criminal career actually begins years before the Vagabond crashed into being. Started like so many others; young and bored, too clever for his own good and desperate for a way to prove it. He drifts into a group who wanted bigger, wanted better, wanted a life society told them was forbidden. It would be easy to say he got caught up in the wrong crowd, pulled along in their wake, but it wouldn’t be accurate. Ryan has been many things but never meek. Never a blind follower. Ryan who could never settle for simply trusting what others tell him, never believing in absolutes he hasn’t tested for himself. Not when he could find another way around, a way under, when he could take the problem apart and find a solution no one else ever expected.

So he joined, he fit in, he rose and he flourished. Ryan wasn’t a killer back then, criminal yes but not a mercenary; they were thieves mostly, would posture and swagger and inflate their own egos but they kept away from the big gangs. At least at first. Because sooner or later things are going to go south and it wasn’t pretty when they did. The group fractures, those who can flee back to their old lives, or into the relative safety of bigger crews, and those left behind have blood on their hands and a bounty on their heads.

Taking a life isn’t quite as difficult as Ryan had anticipated. Awful, of course, and not something he would do without necessity, but the time for scruples has surely passed and if death is what it takes for the last dregs of his gang to live then Ryan will paint the streets red. It’s wrong, he knows. It’s bad, immoral, everything people aren’t meant to be; it’s wrong and Ryan does it anyway. Figures morality is all well and good but won’t help at all if they’re all dead.

For a while it works, their group is small but it’s solid, together they were magnificent. Not that anyone cares about all that, not when the story everyone knows comes after. Comes, of course, with the birth of the Vagabond.

It’s no real surprise that the prominent story surrounding the origin of the most notorious mercenary in the country is as dark and unforgivable as the man himself. A tale of betrayal, of protecting his identity by wiping out all who knew him before the mask, making a name off of the death of those he once called friends. It’s chilling, horrifically fitting and almost entirely untrue; the crew dies, yes, treachery as the hands of one of their own but Ryan is not their Judas.  

The man who traded away their lives for the right price was Ryan’s best friend in all the world, close enough to call brother, someone he trusted so blindly he’d let himself be beaten half to death before he even thought about retaliating. The only crew blood on Ryan’s hands was, it turns out, the most undeniably clean-cut case of self defence, not that it matters in the long run. Not when it plays out in the dark, out of sight, without witness. Not when he’s the only one who walks away, the one who dons a mask and buries his name, retreats from humanity and loses all semblance of mercy. Against all odds Ryan managed to survive. The man he had once been did not.

The story takes on a life of its own and the Vagabond does nothing to stop it; he is, after all, a killer. People should fear him, should run and hide and pray he doesn’t darken their doors. He killed a man who he loved dearly; what line was there left to cross? What sin could be thought too great?

Free from distraction the Vagabond throws himself into his work, takes job after job and sets to building the most terrifying image possible, a reputation full of atrocities which grow with every telling. There are no weak spots for his enemies to target, no useless emotions dragging him down; they say he’s heartless, say he’s inhuman, call him evil, call him corruption, call him nightmare. Eventually Ryan grows used to the way people shudder when they see him, confident in his talents and comfortable with his image. He finally acclimatises to the way mirrors reflect nothing but a cold black skull, and perhaps he couldn’t quite call himself happy but he isn’t exactly displeased with his life.

It becomes cathartic in it’s own way, a sense of satisfaction born from devastation, a sort of peace found in ruin. It makes him his own kind of damaged Ryan knows. Makes him unfixable, maybe. Or maybe it’s that thought in and of itself that condemns him, self awareness of his own desecration, a self fulfilling future of irredeemable wrongness. Either way he knows there’s no going back to how he was. Either way he knows, deep down, that he isn’t sure he wants to. Isn’t sure he’d take back soft, harmless Ryan even if he could, even with the nightmares, the fear and self doubt, the guilt. The glaring absence of guilt.

Ryan isn’t ashamed of what he is, of who he became. He can track his path directly, has run his choices over and over in his mind and comes to the same solutions every time; the Vagabond has always acted with intention. Ryan has always done what he needed to, what he wanted to, always evolved and advanced and overcome. So he isn’t ashamed, but he’s not always proud either. Not always confident that a life spent doing what is necessary rather than what is right is a life worth preserving.  

It’s easier now, in the island of misfit toys, the family of selfish entertainment and bloodstained choices. Easier to justify the savagery of necessity when it is more than just his own life he is protecting, more than just his personal goals he is chasing. In the FAHC Ryan has found the acceptance he never knew he wanted, rekindled emotions he’d have sworn were beaten out of him in a dark alley all those years ago. Like stitching together a ragged wound he’d borne for so long he’d forgotten how to live without it; the scars would never truly fade away, still twinge on the worst days, but all of a sudden he’s faced with a life free of constant misery.

There is no way to repay them for that, for showing him a world where death and joy do not cancel each other out, soothing his conflictions without changing who he has become, for kinship between the equally wicked. Ryan knows they believe he’d die for them, and he would. Would jump right in with eyes wide open, just as self-aware as when he let’s Geoff make a show of his obedience, let’s Jack drag him out looking for ridiculously specific vehicles or let’s Jeremy tag in on a job he could have handled alone. As when he slows down a new trick Michael’s covertly trying to replicate or resigns himself to indentured servitude when Gavin plays him like a puppet; affection clearer in action than he could ever conceptualise in speech, trusting his team to understand.

What they don’t seem to understand is the fact that, if they needed him to, he would do so much more than die for them. To die is nothing, is brief sacrifice, but Ryan would ruin. Would create and destroy and conqueror. Were he asked to he would tear down the whole world around them, set it alight and shelter them from the blaze; a level of devotion that scares even himself when he considers it late at night, beyond thankful for their ignorance. Well, Geoff probably knows, something dark and thoughtful in his eyes when he looks at Ryan, something deeply confident in Ramsey when he commands the Vagabond. Assurance that no threat is idle, no harrowing claim is merely theatrics, and that knowledge alone should be enough to send Ryan running, to remind him of what happens when he lets down his guard, but it doesn’t, not anymore. Not since he recognised the clear display of trust in all that conviction, relishing in the opportunity to prove himself worthy; eyes alight with dangerous promise he now merely looks back at Geoff and has faith.

It’s not perfect; no matter how happy he is with his crew Ryan will still lose himself inside his own head sometimes, a place no other can follow, no other can ever truly understand. For all he is the ghoul in the nightmares of so many others Ryan never could quite extinguish his own demons. After all this time he still goes back and considers all his choices, still asks himself endless questions, gives endless answers, constantly assessing his place in the world, his counts and tallies, his debt. It’s how he reassures himself of the truth.

Did he make mistakes?

Yes.

Does he have regrets?

Yes.

Does death haunt him?

Yes.

Did he choose this?

Yes.

Is he monstrous?

Yes.

Would he do worse?

Yes.

Does he love them?

Yes.

Did they destroy him?

Yes.

Does he love them?

Yes.

Will he destroy them?

Yes.

Does he love them?

Yes.

Is it worth it?

Yes.

Are they worth it?

Yes.

Is he worth it?

.

Is he worth it?

I’m disappointed in the number of people who think it’s okay to bully people over how they voted.

Especially with people who voted third party, since they could easily turn the argument back on you and point out that the 2 party fuckfest we get stuck with every election cycle is partially the responsibility of people perpetuating that mentality through bullying exactly like this.

The only vote you control is your own. You can disagree with other people’s choices, but you don’t get to tell them to fuck themselves because they stuck to their beliefs and voted accordingly.

9

“ Gosh… I was really stupid. Right at this moment, it has nothing to do with me or him… I have a duty as a lawyer. And nothing matters more than that !! ”