i just can't take it all

I’m just gonna say, threatening to kill yourself CONSTANTLY and to cut yourself to a friend who is thousands of miles away and completely fucking helpless and panicking to them ten times a day and having them support you and then to flip around and use what they said to you out of desperation because you were suicidal and act like it’s some how unacceptable? Like take some responsibility. You are an EXHAUSTING person to be friends with and I dealt with all of that because I thought we were friends, but trust me, I didn’t enjoy a single second of having to try to talk you down from panic attacks every second of my day no matter what I was dealing with myself.

Also, trust me when I say: just because you can’t make up your own mind about anything without outside help doesn’t mean the only person you care about it right about everything. You know I’ve been texting less because I’m “out of wifi” but I’ve just been too exhausted to deal with you. So you can think that some how I “enjoy” your anxiety, but I’ve been trying to distance myself from you for a couple months now and my moms be talking me through it because I didn’t want to trigger you. Because I actually care about you and didn’t want you to be hurt.

So your friend can say whatever they want about me and it doesn’t matter to me if you say those things to me because I know you’re just a mouth piece. I am genuinely sorry about your top surgery though because even though I know I said we would live together, it was just to help you through panic attacks, it would never ever have happened. I just really don’t want you to hurt yourself, and I still don’t because even though I absolutely can’t stay on the wild ride of you being unable to form your own opinions and needing validation for every thing, I really do wish you well. And I had planned on helping you with that money even after I stopped taking to you because I’m not as asshole and I think it would have done wonders for your mental health, which I have done everything I could for for the last couple years. Sorry, it would just feel creepy now.

I have my own mental illnesses, I can’t be on duty for you every minute of every day, and to be honest I was starting to resent you for expecting it of me. I wish you well, I really hope you use the workbook I sent you, it is effecting. Now, please stop stalking all my side blogs because I had to block you on my main.

  • me, sobbing in my room at 3 in the morning: dear evan hansen is just...so.....beautiful,,,

anonymous asked:

i know this isn't how the meme works, but would you mind talking about *your* favs?

the batsammi. MY faves? Like, my favorite blogs that I would follow until my dying breath? Sure! Let’s limit it to about… ten okay? So, if you’re left out of this list, don’t feel discouraged! This is just the first ten to come to mind!

@xdemondrinker​ / @deathsdesiign Sam. Sam is the Superman to my Batman. We’ve been friends for almost 5 years? 6 years? God, I don’t even know anymore. We talk every day and I’m always blown away by someone who’s gone through so much, but is still so kind and full of creativity. If you’re not following Sam, you’re missing out on some hella writing. From her Witch!AU Sam Winchester, to the personification of Death from Final Destination —- you just gotta. You gotta. I love her with all my black litle heart.

@leadkiss​ / where ever else you are tbh. GINA. GINA LIGHT OF MY WORLD AND HEART. Another person I’ve been writing with for literal years. She’s been with me through some terribly tough times and helped me when I wasn’t sure I could be helped. She could write a stick and still get your feels. She’s talented and brilliant, and such a good. Just. Just a good okay.

@monstricidalYou’ve probably heard me say this before, but Mary wouldn’t be who she is without Kat’s Alana Bloom. There is no one on God’s Green Earth who probably loves Alana Bloom more than her. Her characterization is nuanced and deep, and everything has a reason and a realistic touch. Not to mention the writing is just flawless and breath taking. Kat is important to me. 100%.

@glitchyai​ / @thatradiodialDAISY. Daisyyyy. I’ve written with them for… god, 5 years now probably? We met on Carol? Yeah. 5 years. And all of their characters are gems and well thought out and just. I LOVE. I love, I love. I cannot imagine my life without.

@djtothestars​ / @radiowaaves MANDY! (Oh c'mon, you saw that coming didn’t you??) I met Mandy through Daisy and I’m so grateful for that. Mostly we scream about characters at each other and random snapchats but I love Mandy with pm my whole liver. *wistful sigh* & she gets me into all these dang podcasts that give me feelings GOSH DERN IT

@dalishfrecklesJ O L Y. I don’t think there are words for how important, or how much they mean to me. There are no words in all the tongues of the Elves, Dwarves, or Ents to explain my love. Like a lot of these people, I wouldn’t be where I am now, or who I am now without Joly. They are a piece of my soul that I hope never leaves me. Their writing keeps me on my toes and make me want to write better, and have you seen their characters? Perfection.

@thirtylcveSO. a new fave. i absolutely love kate. i love to talk to her and watch her on the dash. and she’s just so… kind and thoughtful. she understands all of her muses so well, and i just. i love her so much. /smooshes face. SO MUCH. also her freaking promo tag is “your fave could never” and i think it’s the cutest thing in thE WHOLE WORLD

@onlyjokesherebro>> this one should come as 0% surprise tbh. magpie is the cutest patootiest patoot in the whole galaxy. chris’s personality and speech patterns are so unique, but she gets them super great and is just a delight to talk to. and so. i’m so. I LOVE.

@perfectforayear MY STEPCHILD FROM ANOTHER BLOG…er or son from another blog? W/E. I have watched them grow from a n00b to this fully fledged roleplayer who has surpassed me in wonderfulness. i adore. forever.

SO THESE ARE SOME OF MY FRIENDS. and to round out #10, i wanted to tell you about a fave that i’ve never actually talked to, never written with, but i adore from afar bc i am smol potato.

@vcspertiilio  did you know i love batman? no? where have you been?! i love just about every version of batman in the world. and i just recently (in the past 2 years) started reading batman comics. now. this blog? does such justice to bruce wayne that i am constantly blown away. the dialogue is perfect. the motivations are impeccable. i’m amazed at the headcanons that are supported by comic canon…….. from a movie batman blog, who (from what i know) has read none to some comics. ( I’M NO EXPERT OK ) and i just. i read just about everythign on the dash with them and. /wisTFUL SIGH FROM FAR AWAY.

there you go. 10 of my faves. this isn’t even top ten. this was just literally the firt ten i thought of. i love everyone i write with, and plot with, and for those of you who i haven’t gotten a chance to —– COME AT ME. I want new things. I want old things. I want all things. ouo

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Doyoung “mom” protecting the kids 24/7  👨‍👦👦   

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Some… BROBOTS!

uhh…. thing I did a little bit ago because of my appreciation for my friendo @ Blackggggum as they are super inspiring (and ridiculous)

So I did some reffing and design based on their beautiful pictures, I would probably change a lot now looking at it, but it was the first time ever doing anything vehicle/machine related ;;;;;;;
(S!P: Hummer / S!S: QUADRO4 (4 wheel moped?)

It was really fun and different though!!  (´ヮ`)  ♡

8

Magic and painting are a lot alike. You know, a lot of times, I just can’t paint. Really? When that happens, what do you do? When that happens, all one can do is struggle through it. I draw and draw, and keep drawing. Then I stop drawing. I take walks, look at the scenery, take naps, do nothing. Then after a while, all of a sudden I get the urge to draw again.

A blond-haired, blue-eyed actor named Chris is playing an American named Steve, who’s fighting in a world war. Along the way, he meets a scary foreign brunette woman and takes an unlikely band of friends of different nationalities through an event, and goes up against a couple of Germans, one large and deranged, one smaller and a scientist. Steve, at some point, hijacks a plane and destroys it (and a weapon) for the greater good. Someone is looking back at it from the future, and will eventually team up with a millionaire with daddy issues and cool toys. There’s also a shield involved.


Am I talking about Captain America: The First Avenger, or Wonder Woman?

As she stared in awe at the sketch hanging on the wall of his room, he gazed, spellbound, at her face. He noticed how her eyes would turn into the shape of a cashew when she smiled, and somehow he was left breathless.

“Did you draw this?” She pointed to the sketch. It was a rough sketch of an empty street. One of his favorite.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Wow,” she said, admiring his work,

“How did you even come up with this? It’s so simple yet so beautiful. I can’t take my eyes off it.”

“Well, that’s a question I’ve been wanting to ask the universe.”

“Hmm?” She blinked at him, not having a single clue on what he was saying.

“You,” he began, “how did the universe come up with someone like you?”

“With just a smile, you effortlessly drowned the weight of the world on my shoulders. With just a look, you simply take all of my breath away,”

“And I really, really can’t take my eyes off you.”

—  Lukas W. // Forgotten Words #148 // Can’t take my eyes off you

anonymous asked:

'#I'll never get over just how obvious his crush was... while also being something people were able to miss??#henrik just nailed it PERFECTLY' yeah i always think about because i totally get why people were skeptical and thought even was a fuckboy because he had a gf!! but also looking back he was SO into isak from the jump and it's so funny how obvious it truly was

I myself can’t really see people how people thought he fucking with Isak, because he was so clearly framed as the love interest, but I kind of like that they did? I like when people are working hard to read a story and have a lot of questions (when it pays off, lol). But I can DEF see how people were entirely taken in and thought he was cool and mysterious and “wtf is this guy’s deal!!” “wtf pt 2: he has a gf?????” alongside Isak.

It’s great that you can take just the first two episodes (I like to think about it before we even get to even’s room in mekke øl!) and nothing else and go “okay, whatever is going on with him… dude has a crush” though:

he’s legit not paying attention and scanning the room until he sees isak, wow…

he’s so nervous, how did I not notice how nervous he was??

do you know how hard I worked for us to have accidental eye contact

p l e a s e, he’s so happy a chance to talk to his crush fell into his lap like this

and then this shyest, crushiest little birdface!! he was so… obvious

I just love that it’s not that specific hints were dropped but rather if you watch Even closely, you can see it from his perspective the whole time. Henrik deserves a lot of credit imho for how well he walked that line and the directing/editing for showing you just enough but not too much. Production makes a huge difference, sometimes it’s down to the lighting and post processing! Do you remember how when Passe på meg aired with “I saw you the first day of school”, there was suddenly a deluge of people lightening the first meeting at kosegruppa and ‘discovering’ Even’s face then?? I laugh now at how perfectly D A R K those shots were:

And how much that worked to obscure his expression:

Everything about Even’s perspective in those early eps was so well done and it adds so much to the show that you can go back and see through his eyes once you know him better.

bkatedisney  asked:

Hi I just wanted to say that I loved the book and all the characters expressly Ty as I have just found out that I have autism and he has really helped me and it's really nice to read a character who thinks like me so thank you very much. So my question is that I was wondering which Sherlock Homes book did Ty pick to take home with him. Thank you again and I can't wait to read the next book

The Return of Sherlock Holmes. :)

  • Friend: Hey are you ok?
  • Me: Yeah I'm fine
  • My brain: Can we all just take a moment and realize what life would of actually been like if Connor didn't kill himself? I mean Connor was the only one to sign Evans cast and he even said "let's pretend we both have friends" he knows that Evan isn't a very social person and can't make a lot of friends either so Connor would most likely go back to Evan from time to time. Evan would feel a little awkward at first but would probably start to confide in Connor, thinking of him as a support system and the only one there for him and Connor would think the same about Evan. After time I bet they would become best friends and probably be bullied by everyone. They would go through times where they feel like they should just go away and not live anymore but they would never do it without telling the other first because they know that the other is going through the same thing and that they will know how to help. Soon they would start dating. They would secretly think of themselves as the perfect pair while everyone just looked at them and say "those freaks are meant for each other!" But they know why they are the perfect pair. It's because they can trust one another and can be there for one another and they know that if one of them decides that they want to leave and forget all the pain in their lives the other one would never be the same. They will both stay strong for each other. For forever.
  • Me: *tearing up* I'm totally fine
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