i jumped this shit

On another note, I’m sick again after the trip. (Possibly with the flu)

Neoma got sick at the fanfest so it was pretty much expected that I would catch whatever she got too.

But I feel bad because I have a giveaway I haven’t finished but I haven’t forgotten it! Just give me a while to recover. 

I can’t rightly say just how i found my feet in these shoes. yesterday’s shadows reap tomorrow’s trepidation, still i walk on watching, sowing, harvesting. and it’s as if time is

a merry-go-round moving too fast for me to jump on

shit.. i been thinkin a lot about space lately. little thoughts come into my head, but i don’t write them down so much these days, no. the quill dips lesser in mind well.

soon, i will be moving to the meadows where the sun sets in the east. for me…

forthright introspection at times seems to require silence.  need not proceed in tipping the scale from growth to self loathing. neither accumulative discovery of evident imperfections yield misrepresentation of the natural splendor of being human. humility cannot be gained through lamentation of self.

though exquisite may be, god too is only concept of man.

can’t hit the truth with fistfuls of dirt. heads full of thoughts or books full of pages

but still

it’s pleasant; beauty no intent could conjure. that the essence of nature surpasses the weight of societal monotony. every time

scalloped in the chaos, the order

perhaps

spiritually

this is me

and..

that’s about all i got for now

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.
You claim to love her, inside and out, but the only time you call her beautiful is when it’s 3 in the morning and I’ve already turned you down.
—  girls tell each other everything, c.j.n.
We throw around the word never likes its nothing but a small rose petal. The word never is a doubled edged sword. On one side it says ‘I will never leave you’ and on the other it says ‘I will never love you.’
—  The Word Never