i invest too much emotion in my tv shows

Patrick Dempsey on Grey's Anatomy: 'I was ready to move on' | EW

Derek, who?

It’s only been eight months since Patrick Dempsey’s iconic character, Dr. Derek Shepherd, was killed off on Grey’s Anatomy, but a whole lot has changed for the 49-year-old actor: After a successful summer of racing for Porsche, Dempsey snagged a high-profile role in Bridget Jones’s Baby (out Sept. 16). EW recently sat down for an exclusive chat with Dempsey in London to talk about his new role as billionaire entrepreneur Jack Qwant, and how it feels like a lifetime ago that he walked away from the beloved role he played for 11 years on ABC.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Can you reflect on 2015?
PATRICK DEMPSEY: It’s been an incredible year. The objectives this season with the racing were achieved. It was perfect. Making the transition out of Grey’s Anatomy and focusing 100 percent on the racing made a big difference. It just showed me that you have to concentrate, and not spread everything so much.

There have been rumors that you are going to quit racing.
I think there are so many rumors that are absolutely ridiculous. Quit what, racing? Oh God, no. Absolutely not. I didn’t quit anything. People want to put everything in a box. Real life isn’t like that. The season is over. We’re going make an announcement of what we’re doing very soon. I’ll continue on with Porsche, certainly. I had a great relationship with them.  It’s been a great year.  

How did it feel jumping into a movie after doing TV for so long?
Oh, it’s completely reinvigorated me. I’ve enjoyed it immensely. I think the pace of it is really good. Getting back to something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. And it’s very collaborative and it’s organic in how it comes together, how it changes and evolves. It’s just a completely different approach. With the show, you’re just grinding it out to get through it. In this instance, you take the time to walk through things. I really love it.  

Did your team do some hand-wringing over how you would follow up Grey’s?
It just kind of came about. They were very accommodating and made it possible to for me to continue on racing, which was my objective this year.

What did you think about the reaction from fans to your departure from Grey’s?
I knew it would be heavy like that. I didn’t realize until we did our interview that it was really over. It started to dawn on me that this is coming to an end, which is why I think I was so moved by it. It was the first time I really stepped back and was starting to witness and to reflect on what had happened. That was the first time I was really saying goodbye to [Derek]. And I wasn’t at all surprised with how people reacted.

Did you read some of the reactions?
A little bit. And then I was pretty much done with it. You know, I was ready to move on and then I was focused on racing. When everything started happening, I was out of the country anyway and I was racing, which was a good distraction.

Has anybody said they’ve missed you?
Yes, lots of people. “It’s good to see you’re alive” is the comment you get. And I’m like, “Yes, I’m very much alive in reruns.” I think that was the thing. People were really invested in that relationship. It’s like that with Bridget Jones, too. I think there’s that emotional investment with people.

Does it feel now like it was worlds away, when you left Grey’s Anatomy?
Oh completely like that, without question. Very happy to have moved on with a different chapter in my life.

Would you still consider doing TV again?
I think I would consider anything. I just think you have to be open, to see what happens and what comes along.

In November, Shonda Rhimes appeared on Larry Wilmore’s show on Comedy Central and was asked if she ever killed off a character because she didn’t like the actor. She said yes. Do you think she was talking about you?
I think she loves being provocative and that’s fine for who she is. That gets people talking about all the stuff that she’s doing.  She’s an amazing woman who is incredibly productive. She’s promoting a book. She’s promoting three shows. And she’s emerging as the star of all of these things. I think she knows how to deal with the media and what she needs to say to get the response that she’s looking for. She’s very savvy.  

Would you like to continue making romantic comedies?
I’d like to do more. Romantic comedies as a genre are a bit lost at the moment. Collin Firth and I were talking about this. You look back at the movies that were done in the ’30s and the ’40s and the writing and the quality of the writing. It’s a bit of a lost genre. So, I would be open to that and I’m known for that. And that’s okay. But I certainly would love to do a thriller. I would love to do something that’s an action movie.

I thought it would be insanely hard for me to move on after the show is over. I thought I would be an emotional wreck who would just re-watch the episodes for months. But all thanks to that finale episode, moving on doesn’t seem so hard anymore. I respect everyone involved with the show and their decisions and I have nothing against them, but it is my nature as a human being to have a personal opinion about how the show have ended- personal opinions that are backed up of years of devotion to the show and strong emotional attachment to its characters.

It was utterly devastating to see the characters I watched grow and mature suddenly just shell back into their 20+ year old selves. See them become the persons they feared of becoming. It hurts seeing GIF sets from the show now, I literally cannot even open the HIMYM folder on my computer anymore, and I feel physical pain reading things even remotely related to anything between the pilot and the finale since all of that turned out to just be 9 years of fillers.

I still love and care about the show in a way, but certainly not in an obsessive one anymore. I don’t see myself re-watching an episode in the near future, even. Before the finale, I told my sister that “I probably won’t be able to start watching another series after this, I will never be able to let go of this show. I will never be able to move on.” but I have, and it was surprisingly easy.

So this is me saying goodbye to the show I spent late nights watching, the show that cheered me up when I’m being a bipolar crap, the show my sister and I bonded over most days, the show I just so dearly loved. 

I guess my main take away from the finale is this: Don’t invest too much time and emotion on TV shows and its characters because it’s something you can’t control and have nothing to do with whatever their lives may become. 

Don’t put all your hopes up and put all of your  trust on the hands that craft the stories without preparing yourself to get hurt, because when everything ends up to be what you hope not to, and the feeling of betrayal starts creeping in, yes, it hurts pretty bad.

Don’t be confident only because it’s been a good 9 years. No matter how good it’s been running for nearly a decade, there’s just no assurance it will live up to that until the very end. 

Don’t relate yourself too much on fictional characters, because their character growth that inspired you to become a better person may just be a phase in their fictional lives and may not even matter at all.

And don’t ever hold on to the idea of having a love like what your one true pairing’s perfect relationship has because no matter how much they compliment each other, become better persons with each other, and grow maturely for each other, there’s no guarantee they are end game (yes, even after they get married one episode before the finale).

Thank you for all these, HIMYM. I have learned my lesson. I will never let a TV show consume my life just to get incredibly hurt ever again.

Farewell, How I Met Your Mother

seethelovelyintheworld  asked:

I chuckled at your last post about being crazy invested in CS. Right there with you, dear. I'm not usually obsessed with TV characters, and have long passed the teen crush era. Not to be too dramatic, but I really think CS is the best love story on television. It's capturing the attention of people who wouldn't otherwise pay so much attention to fictional couples because it depicts a truly beautiful relationship, with actors who can portray real and complex emotions. Hey: I'm hooked, too. ;-)

I’m so glad it’s not just me :D Once is the first TV show I’ve become really invested in. Usually it’s just books and movies for me!

You’re dead right about Captain Swan. Everyone I know who casually watches the show, or is a fan but not involved in the fandom, loves these two. Especially Hook. People came up to me at the last con and pointed at my prints of Hook like “oh, that’s the pirate guy! I NEED to watch that show!” or “HOOK omg he’s my favourite!”

They’re great characters - the show is full of great characters who grab people’s interest, I think. And it’s a great story. Precisely because, I think, it goes way beyond the teen-crush thing. It’s not just another boy-meets-girl thing, it’s not just two pretty people having a crush on each other, there’s no silly drama or pointless angst. It all comes across as very honest and very real. Partly because that’s the story, and partly, like you said, because the actors are just perfect for the parts.

I think a lot of people can relate to it because it’s about second chances, and finding the right person to complement you, and seeing past someone’s past and their walls. But there’s also that sense of wonder that you often get with stories about first love. They’ve both been in relationships before, but there’s a very strong sense that they’ve never had this. That’s powerful, and really important, because it gives people hope that no matter how many times it goes wrong, it can always still go right. And also, it’s not just about romance, it’s also about partnership, having each other’s backs, lifting each other up, and so on.

It’s a wonderful relationship and a wonderful story. It’s about hope, and redemption, and honesty, and respect. It’s about a woman who knows what she wants, and a man who respects and supports her in that. It’s about two lost people who found each other, and their way, and a home.

So yeah. No wonder we’re hooked!