wait can we talk about how gr9 Nora is at leaving breadcrumbs of information for us to pick up on even tho she told the story from the pov of the most people-blind protag ever? Like we got so much information from offhand comments of other characters even tho Neil doesn’t seem to possess the ability to process them properly. Anyway this is the reason I am laughing for 1000 years bc if you think I believed Renee for one second when she told us “”“”“no one else knew”“”“” abt Andrews sexuality you would be WRONG friend and I will FIGHT you abt it.
I mean we the readers obvs knew Andrews gay bc let’s be real: that’s why we’re here,,,, but even so, Neil’s “"Andrew is gAY?????”“ moment just makes me think like Jesus Neil you are really fucking bad at reading people who aren’t trying to kill you bc Andrew is extremely obvious abt his interest.
Lets recap with an incomplete itemized list of the glaring fucking clues to Andrew Minyard’s sexuality that the entire Palmetto State Exy team gives us from the moment we meet them:
- fiRST OF ALL one of the first things Andrew says to Neil is that its good hes interesting bc Andrew “needs a new toy” like. ????? Str8 boys don’t stay that shit??? (tbh NObody says that shit????)
- Seth keeps calling him faggot, an insult otherwise reserved for Nicky, who we have universally acknowledged as the Gay Cousin™
- In the same vein, Andrew’s mildly homophobic brother Aaron is made equally uncomfortable by both Nicky and Andrew when they talk
- “Take your clothes off so I can ”“”“"see ur scars”“”"““ okay Andrew settle down
- Also all those slow body scans???? Andrew obviously checking Neil out????? Blatantly flirtatious extended eye contact????? These are not happening subtly friend
- Neil accepts all that neck grabbing as totally normal psychopath behavior apparently but we know better
- Seriously, Neil “I Don’t Swing” Josten, just how many sexy situations have u accidentally gotten yourself into bc invasions of personal space by tiny blond boys register as totally normal to you and not gay at all
- Andrew is SO. TACTILE. (not a gay thing just pointing it out he does a lot of grabbing its nice)
- Also who buys ppl clothing??? (Honestly this shit reads like Andrew is someone who read a lot of clubbing au fanfiction in 2005 and always dreamed of turning someone into a hot club diva but Neil is too dumb to actually tell us what he’s fucking wearing so that my trash fangirl heart cries out bc WTF KIND OF CLOTHES DOES ANDREW PUT NEIL IN???? ARE THERE LEATHER PANTS??? FISHNET???? GUYLINER?????? UGH)
- But MOST importantly::: the scene where Renee “Flirts With Yakuza Property For The Long Con And Also Probably The Fun Of It” Walker comes out to Neil FOR ANDREW.
- Like. There is no way Renee “Wasn’t Born Fucking Yesterday” Walker just tells someone who’s never bothered to speak to her Andrew’s most vulnerable secrets like that. There is No Way. Im just saying do not be fooled by the cross around her neck and the softness of her voice, this is a girl who knows what shes about, this is a girl who has lived too long to let Some Stupid Boy Shit go on for too long. What im saying is this girl is VETTING for her boy, Andrew Minyard, making sure Neil is the Real Deal, that Neil deserves the attention of a fellow goalie. Basically this girl is the one true bro.
- Renee “I Killed A Man Then Found God, See Me” Walker: MVP