i imagined this post like 2 months ago and only just now got myself to make it

anonymous asked:

SOPHIE!! i don't have Twitter so i have no idea what everyone is talking about Tyren and camren and L's tweets so pLEASE update me, i want to know e v e r y t h i n g !!! pls and thanks❤️

Okay, so it started when Ty posted this pic :

In a way confirming his relationship with Lauren.

The fandom got insane over it. Basically people are calling Lauren an hypocrite for dating a guy like Ty, who is known to have questionable opinions on women and the LGBTQ community, when she’s a proud feminist and bisexual.

Now there are three types of “haters” in there : 

1. The basic idiots, who don’t know anything about Lauren and who are just there to hate for pleasure - the real “fake fans”

2. The basic idiots who pretend to be “real fans” - often mistaken to be only Camren shippers when really most of them don’t even really ship Camren, they just want to piss Lauren off

3. The real fans, who are actually not hating on Lauren but are just worried about her and her decisions lately - but are still respectful about it - there are Camren shippers in there, respectful ones.

Anyways, earlier today Lauren lashed out in a few tweets about all the hate she was getting for maybe dating Ty

Until then it was okay, Lauren’s usual “I pretend that I don’t give a fuck but really I do” tweet - but then shit hit the fan when she replied to this tweet :

Once again, Lauren put every haters in the Camren shipper basket. Basically going back to the “sick pleasure” tweet she did a few months ago and once again not having any respect for the fans that are genuinely worried about her or other Camren shippers, like myself for example, who never bothered her.

Once again she made fun of a ship that helps and matters to a lot of people. 

Once again, she’s not thinking about the consequences of her words.

And to further illustrate my point, she also liked this tweet : 

There you go again, we’re the pervert CS who always hate on Lauren and imagine her having sex with Camila while we’re doing ourselves 🙄🙄🙄

Anyways, all of this hurt a lot of people - because Camren has a very deep meaning for many of us. So now people are pissed and sad because the artist we love, who is part of the community, who is supposed to represent us, is belittling us and making us feel guilty for just wanting to find comfort and representation in a ship.

Confessions in Jamaica (h.s.)

so my friend, @dunkirkc had requested this so long ago but i’ve been so busy writing other stuff but i’ve finally pushed myself to finish writing this. i’ve also been super busy with school ugh. the next writing i’ll be posting soon is the part 2 of Forbidden. hope you like this xx 

Originally posted by hxrryonce

i love how he jams out to his own music. precious baby he is. 

You were on your way to the studio straight from the airport in London. You anxiously tap your foot against the floor of the car, the cab driver honking at other cars through the crowded traffic. 

It was pouring outside, the same old gloomy and cold weather in London. You remember it exactly how the last time you came. 

You stomach swirled in nervousness and excitement when you got closer and closer to the building. 

You were on your way to see one of your closet friends, Harry, who you missed dearly and have known for about three years now. He had no idea you were coming. He thought you were still back in your home town on the other side of the ocean when he talked to you on the phone earlier. He kept mentioning how he wanted to fly out to see you before he left for two months to work on his album, hidden away from the world. 

Keep reading

Day 1: My room turned into a ocean. I swear I found fishes and sharks swarming into my lungs. Or maybe that was the remains of you trying not to escape but desperately needing to
Day 2: You weren’t at school today and I should’ve been happy, I was more sad
Day 3: I thought I was ready to move on, then I saw you with her.
Day 4: We haven’t spoken in days now. My mind thinks its being shoved off a cliff.
Day 5: I wish it would just hit the bottom
Day 6: This will be the first weekend we dont hang out. I know you’ll be seeing her and I know youll be smiling without me. I’m trying hard to learn how to too
Day 7: I asked you for help on a history assignment and you replied with “Ask Amber im busy”. I texted back: “Tell Emma I said hi”
Day 8: You posted a video with her on the only social media site you have. When I saw it I erupted. I spewed lava every where, oh god its every where
Day 9: My mom made me sleep next to her on the couch. She was afraid I would try and do something like I did two years ago when another guy tore up my heart. I actually had thought about it
Day 10: I slept in your sweatshirt one last time so i can feel myself engulfed in you. I know you wanted them back so I had to feel you and smell you one last time.
Day 11: I gave you all of your stuff back and you thought I looked like a warrior but really I went home and tried getting you out of my bloodstream
Day 12: when will my eyes stop flowing?
Day 13: I snuck out with a boy and smoked weed on his couch. He talked about love and how much it hurt. I only pictured you.
Day 14: I woke up next to that same boy and I woke up screaming. The boy was worried and confused but I knew why I screamed. I imagined you laying with another girl on your couch. I ran out of his house so fast you’d think Id be better at running from you.
Day 15: Its spring break and im with my best friend and your with her and i swear i can feel you tracing her spine the way you used to trace mine
Day 16: I ignored your birthday and it felt worse than the puking i did that night
Day 17: Im treading icy water while you’re swimming away from me, I guess I just hope you’ll loop around and find your way back to the shattered, but still there, us
Day 18: I don’t remember the sound of your voice I don’t remember the color of your eyes I don’t remember your the taste of your lips
Day19: No amount of screaming gets your name out of my head
Day 20: I got on a plane today and when we took off I swear i almost walked to the door and started flying
Day 21: They say it takes 21 days fo break a habit but I think I just manage to fall more in love with a greedy monster
Day 22: I saw you today and wished you a happy late birthday and promised we’d watch the third Hobbit together. I’m beginning to hate myself more
Day 23: Its the end of the month maybe next month won’t be filled with thoughts of you and killing myself. i think im beginning to be over you
Day 24: april fools
Day 25: i think i understand now. when you first told me you loved me your mouth curled up on the edges, two days before you left when i gave my bare self to you your mouth was a straight line when saying i love you
Day 26: if you’re trying to kill me its working
Day 27: i woke up this morning to my blankets and pillows piled in a corner in my room. its something s ghost would do to make his presence known. im haunting myself. or maybe its the ghost of us tsking over my body
Day 28: its almost been a month since you told me it was never me. i almost texted you happy easter but i saw those text messages and just got angry
Day 29: I hate that you act like you didnt break my heart. i hate that you think im fine that im not writing a shit poem sbout your shit personality
Day 30: thirty days since you’ve wanted me. thirty days since i told you i love you. thirty days since you’ve slipped from my fingers. i tried catching you. you’ve been gone far too long. thirty days is too long
Day 31: i had a nightmare last night about you. you told me you loved me and kissed my forehead. i woke up breathing heavily and shaking. i want you out of my life
Day 32: running on no sleep isn’t fun
Day 33: ive been awake for over 50 hours in fear that ill see you in my dreams again. i cant risk that. it hurts so much. get out of my head
Day 34: my mother told me that love will do this. that its cruel and torturous and breaks you into such little pieces not even yourself can pick up all the pieces. you know where they all are, please come back and pick them up
Day 35: i talked to another guy last night we stayed up late and he asked me questions about you. we were sober so it wasn’t easy spitting up vowels and similies and euphemisms explaining the empty feeling in my chest after you left
Day 36: fuck if i stopped seeing you everyday i swear id be over you.
Day 37: my knee didnt touch your leg like it used it i promise i didnt do that fuck
Day 38: you told me that the wrinkles on my leg bothered you when i sat down. thats not what you said when we were trying not to get caught in the back of your car
Day 39: you told me you’d take me to prom and in two days itll just be another day you promised to spend with me. its funny how our plans turned to dust in a matter of seconds after cleaning
Day 40: the thunderstorm of us was inside of you and maybe that why it felt so close. i keep counting the seconds between the boom and light hoping you arent moving away buy i fear that you are already letting others feel your storm. the plants you grew are dying. maybe you should come back to water them
Day 41: ten days since its been a month since you left. i cried at prom because all i could look for in the crowd was you.
Day 42: i got so drunk all i could see was your face. the guy i fucked kept telling me his name wasn’t yours. i just screamed and cried because you’re all i still think about despite your efforts to continue to push me away
Day 43: i should be getting high today but if i do ill just write more and think more about a guy who will never care
Day 44: i think im trying to gain feelings for someone else because it’ll make moving on from you easier. im afraid to write that it hasnt
Day 45: you traces my leg like you used to. it was like dandelion tea. it made my insides fill with happiness. you’re my yellow paint.
Day 46: Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would put happiness inside him. He would consume it everyday in the hopes that it would bring his sadness to rest despite the fact that it could kill him first. i gues you were my yellow paint emphasis on the were. see im not going to write about you anymore, because when i write you down im under the impression that you’ll stay with the words but you don’t. this is the last sentence I’ll ever write about you

Different Kind of Punishment.

Summary;Y/N get’s detention for not doing her homework again but Mr.Hemming’s has a different kind of punishment for her. 

word count;800 

Message me if you would like part 2! 

Part 2 will contain sex just a little warning! 

I hope you enjoy this, i had this in my notes and decided i would post it

Y/N Pov

i knew getting involved with him was a bad idea but now i can’t help it.

it was never meant to be like this.

I got detention, nothing knew there.

But something changed, he didn’t look at me the same. I thought something was up with him but i never thought having sex with him would change everything.

I am in love with my teacher and there is nothing i can do about it.

He ignores me every chance he can get and he asked if i could transfer English class.

it’s not fair,but he’s married.

his words to me that night were “i love my wife, i want to make it work”

i never expected it to happen like it did, but who knew detention would lead to having an affair for 4 months with a teacher, a married teacher.

The sex was great, better than i had ever had.

i’m 17 years old and have had 3 boyfriends in high school so i wasn’t a stranger to sex, i have had it plently of times but i never had that feeling i had when i was with him.

nobody knows about not even my best friend Lucy. She would freak out if she knew,she had a crush on him but i never really did until that day.

it has been really hard not having anyone to talk to, i could talk to him but he won’t talk to me.

Yesterday at School just as the bell rang for home time i saw her, his wife. She’s beautiful, everything i wish i was. She has long blonde hair, the body and the face. No wonder he loves her, no wonder he want’s to be with her over me.

They were high school sweethearts he told me, he had the biggest crush on her since Sophomore when he was at school, he talked about her like he still had a crush on her.

It broke my heart, but it was my fault for asking him about her.

Things haven’t been working out in his marriage the last couple of months, anyone could see that at school. He wasn’t himself, always arriving late to class, clothes not ironed and he looked angry like he had just been arguing with someone. Which was probably his wife.

I guess that’s why we kept having sex for four months, i was his escape.

he made me feel special. Yes the sex was rough but sweet.

I really thought he liked me, i remember the first time.

4 Months ago..

It happened on a Wednesday but days before i could tell something was up with him. He stared at me more than he should have, when he passed my table i could feel his hands touch me longer than it should have.

By Wednesday.. i was convinced maybe he liked me but i thought it was just my crazy thinking.

I got to class early because i wanted to see him,it was quiet when i walked in. Mr. Hemmings was just going through some marking when i entered. He looked up and then looked down not saying anything, i thought nothing of it and then i just sat down on my seat.

“Well looks like i’m the first one here again” I mumbled to myself as i tilted my head slightly hoping to get a reaction from him or even a sound.

“SHUT UP” Luke shouted dropping his marking on the table making them spread all of it and fall onto the ground.

He walked around his table angrily over to me, i thought he was going to shout at me but next thing i know his hands are on my waist pulling me up to stand on my feet.

everything happened so quick. i didn’t have time to think or to even breathe and then he spoke

“You need to shut up you prick teasing little bitch”

i was so shocked by his words..

I never thought he would ever speak to me like that and the tone he used aswell shocked me more than anything,but i couldn’t help but feel turned on. It wasn’t a tone he would use when he was shouting at a pupil in class, it was like a dominant voice.

But how am i a prick teasing little bitch? I don’t walk around with my skirt up to my arse, i don’t unbutton my top for him in class, i’m just a normal pupil.

What have i done?

i was about to speak to try and calm him down but he spoke again “ You’re going to listen to me and not speak. The rules are;

Rule 1;You only answer with Yes Sir, No Sir"

Rule 2;Don’t ever call me by my name”

and Rule 3;Never speak of this to anyone"

“Do you understand Y/N” he said

“Ye sir” i spoke.

What is he going to do now..

So guys i hope you liked this, i wrote this ages ago so i’m sorry if it’s shit!

I was going to write the smut part and then post it but i’m going to see if you guys like it or not first. 

Message me or comment if you would like me to continue this. 

Until next time 


Love Morgan xxxxxx

You’ll Be Mine - Yondu x Reader

Ok, so of course I wrote this right after coming home from see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 last night. It’s the first fic I’ve posted online and it’s in first person and I know the formatting and grammar isn’t perfect but please bare with me… I hope you guys like it.

Warning - smut

Keep reading

Forever | 1: The Beginning of the End

Summary: You and Sebastian Stan became best friends years ago, on the set of the first Captain America movie, and you couldn’t be happier that you had found someone just as witty and caring as you - but will feelings wiggle their way in and get in between your friendship and happiness?

Word Count: 789

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: (Throughout) Language

Characters (in order of appearance): Reader, Sebastian Stan

A/N: I started writing this in 2015, and it was v popular on wattpad so I thought, why not make it accessible to my pals on tumblr? pls bare with me as I post the next 12 chapters, and please, as always, let me know what you think!! I love hearing from y’all :)

Keep reading

Choosing the wrong priorities part 3

This is a wrap up to my previous imagines which you can find here: 

Part one: 


One two:


Picture is not mine. Though I wish I would have ever gotten close enough to him to take it.

The prevailing silence of the lightless room was interrupted only by the soft sound of our breathing and the gentle tab from thousands of tiny raindrops quietly pattering against the window. My body had been covered with two thick blankets to protect myself against the cold, yet the main warmth was provided from the strong, male body laying behind me. Harry’s tattooed arms were both slung around my waist and he held me close while he pressed himself against my back. I couldn’t help but smile out of pure joy and relief as my eyes focused on our interlocked hands, resting just above my chest. It brought me more joy now than it had a few hours ago, when my hand had been clasped tightly in Harry’s and I had struggled to follow him as he’d led me down the stairs.

His fingers had still felt slightly sticky from wiping the last remaining tears off my cheeks, but he didn’t seem to have noticed. My heart had beat in a hammering rhythm and my knees had felt awfully weak. Yet Harry had walked straight to the living room with more confidence than I could ever have mustered, a living room that was packed with celebrities. He hadn’t let go of my hand.

“Harry,” I had urged and pulled at his arm. He’d stopped to turn to me and frowned when I attempted to free my hand again.  "You should let go now.“

At first, my words didn’t seem to have made much sense to him, but eventually the coin dropped and the cocky smile I secretly loved so much appeared on his lovely face.

"You’re staying right here by my side,” he’d decided. “And if anyone asks, you’re my girlfriend.”

“Harry,” I’d warned but all he’d done was wink and turn to pull me into the crowd. I had found it difficult to wrap my head around this new attitude of his. Months of us sneaking around and going to ridiculous lengths to keep our relationship a secret had forced me to almost become invisible next to him. A quiet and inconspicuous shadow.

Tonight however, Harry was having none of it. We had previously decided that a few quick goodbyes were appropriate before we’d leave and as always, the moment Harry had entered the room, all the attention seemed to shift onto him. It had felt as if everyone wanted a piece of him. I had decided stick to standing at his side and to keep my focus on our connected hands.

At first no one else had noticed, but after a few minutes of him talking to fellow musicians my eyes had caught a few glances drifting down to mine and Harry’s interlocked fingers. Mostly female glances. One woman in particular stared at us and when her eyes found mine she, to my great surprise,  smiled. The amount of confidence that simple gesture had given me almost seemed ridiculous. But my joy was short lived, because the next female I’d noticed practically staring at us was no one other than a tall, thin and dark haired woman, who’d had her mouth against Harry’s earlier that same night. Kendall Jenner. I’d instantly tensed and tried to avoid any eye contact with her. The pit of my stomach had oddly decided on a mixture of guilt and insecurity at the same time. The thought of Harry wanting me instead of her seemed even more ridiculous when she was present. What if she was now angry at me because she had believed that they would become a thing again? Harry had stayed clueless, while my heart had dropped when Kendall pushed herself forward and closer to us until she’d stood directly in front of me.

“You must be Y/N, am I right?” she asked in her melodic voice that somehow didn’t drown in the loud pop music playing from about five speakers at once. Unable to form a proper sentence I’d just nodded.

“Oh dear, I am so sorry!” she had exclaimed and placed one of her hands on my arm. “Jeff  told me about the deal being off literally just now!” She shook her head in exasperation.

“I would never want to interfere in your relationship to Harry. He’s really just a friend to me and I never meant to hurt you by making you think otherwise.”

She’d quickly continued before I could say something. “I know it doesn’t look like I did it for the cameras, but I was under the impression that we were meant to make out while dancing. So that it’d look realistic, you know. Guess I got that wrong too, I’m sorry.”

She’d sighed in relief of having gotten it all out and she stared at me with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. Knowing that she’d expected me to say something, all I could sincerely say once I’d found my voice again, was, “It’s okay, Kendall.”

Finally Harry had realized who I was talking to and he quickly apologized to Kendall for whatever it was he’d thought he had to apologize for. My heart had squeezed happily when he’d finished their short chat by saying: “I’m gonna head home with my girlfriend now.”

Even escaping the paparazzi was different now. He hadn’t forced me to quickly walk ahead of him before anyone could snap a proper picture like he normally had. Now he had held my hand tightly and led the way to his car in a comfortable speed. It was as if he’d wanted them to take pictures of us. Once he’d told his driver where to go, Harry had wrapped one arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. Though I’d enjoyed it, this new behavior did freak me out a little. Once we’d reached the apartment building I was currently staying in I’d thought I’d try and asked Harry to stay the night what he’d accepted to my surprise. He normally never did. He’d gone from wanting to hide me to being comfortable with the whole world knowing about us in three days. How genuinely could that be?

“Babe, would you mind stop moving around all the time?” Harry murmured behind me. I jerked in surprise at his raspy voice and he gave me a reassuring squeeze.

“I thought you were asleep,” I whispered back.

“I was,” Harry chuckled softly, “but you nestling around woke me up, darling. Are you having trouble falling asleep?”

I shook my head and turned in his arms to look at him. He closed his eyes and sighed happily when I carefully moved my knuckles across his cheek. A smile graced his lips when my eyes locked with his sparkling green ones again.

“What’s on your mind,” he asked, his voice hoarse.

I shrugged, unsure of how to explain my confused emotions. I didn’t want to hurt him by voicing my doubt in him, but I knew I couldn’t lie either. He patiently waited and playfully squeezed my hips to get me to answer his question.

“I love you,” I whispered and watched with delight yet another big smile spread on his lips.

“Love you, too, darling,” he answered and turned his head to press a kiss on my hand that still rested against his cheek. “But that’s not what you were thinking about.”

“It was,” I murmured, “among with other things.”

He frowned and pulled my body closer against his as he turned to lay on his back. I sighed contently and wished he’d let it go so we could simply enjoy this moment together. I knew that he wouldn’t be too happy about my thoughts. If we’d both just close our eyes, maybe the fear would disappear.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

“I just worry a bit,” I admitted, “To the public, you’ve gone from kissing Kendall Jenner to introducing your non-famous friend as your girlfriend in mere minutes. Everyone is going to start asking questions and make a mess, Harry. I’m scared that you’ll change back to wanting to hide me away again. It’d certainly be easier. ”

I watched his forehead frown and his eyes sadden slightly. I knew that Harry wanted to make everyone around him feel save and loved, that other people’s happiness was all he cared about. That it was me out of all people who didn’t believe in his sincerity, pained him. I continued in a more hushed voice.

“You never used to stay for the night because you worried someone would snap a picture of you leaving in the same cloths as you came in. We had an argument about that remember? I was sick of always having to come to yours. But now all of a sudden you’re in my bed and staying. Which makes me very happy, don’t get me wrong, but what about tomorrow when the media have pictures and everyone is asking questions about me? About who I am? And you’ll have to explain yourself? What if you decide that a public relationship isn’t what you want after all?”

Harry’s eyes focused on mine and again silence stretched throughout the room. The rain had gotten heavier and goosebumps crawled up my skin when I heard the faint noise of thunder in the distance.

“I want you,” Harry chose to say. He reached forward and gently took my face in his hands. “I was a fool to ever believe I could go a day without you and it being a good day. As long as you’ll allow me, I’d like to be able to openly cherish and love you.”

My heart warmed and I smiled. I leaned up a bit to press a kiss to his soft lips. My hands traveled up to wound in his hair and he groaned when I scratched the back of his neck. Harry’s arms wrapped tighter around me and he pulled me up so I was now completely lying on top of him. I rested my chin on my folded hands and he smirked up at me.

“I understand your fear, Y/N. Because you’re right, you are my first honest and public girlfriend, who’s not famous and who’s house I leave in the same cloths I entered with,” he winked cheekily and laughed in relief that he wasn’t angry at me. I sighed when I felt his hands push under the shirt I was wearing to gently hold my hips in his and I fisted my hands against his naked skin.

Harry cleared his throat and continued more seriously. “That’s exactly what I want you to be. And because you’re my first in that sense, I can’t promise that I’m the perfect boyfriend. But you could teach me to be and I promise that I could make you insanely happy. Happier than you even knew was possible.”

“I’m sure you could,” I smirked and pressed a kiss to his chin and than added, “you did make me very happy in the last few months. I just want to go back to that.”

“I don’t,” he surprised me by saying. “Back then I didn’t appreciate you enough. The days I spent without you were the worst but they thought me. I will never do anything that could make you leave me again. And before you say it, I’m not forcing myself into anything. I want our relationship to be exactly this way. Public enough that everyone knows that I’m yours and that you’re mine.”

He squeezed me again and I moved to nip on his neck. He half moaned and I giggled breathlessly.

“But,” he tried to continue but had to pull me back down and against him before I let go of him, “with you not being a public figure, I can keep what matters private between us. And I like that very much.”

“You’ve done your fair amount of thinking,” I murmured.

“That I have.”

He smiled and raised his head slightly. I leaned down and pressed a heavy kiss to his mouth, one that he was eager to return. My arms wrapped tighter around his neck and he moved to settle me back down on the mattress, pressed against his side. We continued to kiss for what felt like hours, until neither of us had any air left in our lungs and until our lips were red and swollen. My heart beat rapidly but the aching feeling had finally gone and was replaced by warmth and joy. When Harry pulled away he reached up and caressed my cheek gently with the back of his hand.

“All will be good, Y/N. I promise you.”

“I believe you,” I whispered before my lips found his in another kiss.

Hope you’re happy with the ending! :) Requests and feedback are both very welcome.

Rest of what I wrote: 


ASTRO for Singles (2017 November issue)

Give us a hint about your new album.
Cha Eunwoo:
If previously we were “shy boys who fell in love” then I think with this album, it’ll be the complete opposite of what we’ve done up till now with fans who look at us being the ones to feel shy and skittish as they listen to the song. Instead of a boy who beats about the bush because he feels bashful, fans will be able to see a straightforward and manly ASTRO (laughs).

Are there any goals you would like to achieve through promotions of the new album?
Ranks aren’t everything but I think I’ll be really happy if we won no.1 on a music show. I also hope that we’ll get more chances to communicate (with our fans) through many more events other than fansigns and fanmeetings.

Is there another method like your solo concert held last July in which you can communicate even better with your fans?
Cha Eunwoo:
Thanks to our fans, we were the ones who gained strength instead. Should I describe it as a moment where we found another reason as to why we need to work even harder in the future? For our Japan concert, we prepared a separate song in Japanese and surprisingly, the Japanese fans sang along from start to finish so I was extremely touched.

Did you make any mistakes?
Cha Eunwoo:
We wanted to show a different side of ourselves during the concert so we made fresh arrangements of songs already under our belts and also fixed the choreographies. But because of that there were occasional moments on stage where we got mixed up. Once when I made a mistake, I copied JinJin hyung who was standing in front of me but turns out he got the choreography wrong too so we were moving around in a state of confusion mid-performance (laughs).
Yoon Sanha: It was hard getting the timing right for when we would change clothes as the song changes. MJ hyung and JinJin hyung also urgently ran for the loo halfway through (laughs).

I heard that before you debuted, you put up performances for around 8 weeks at the concert venue of an amusement park.
Yoon Sanha:
We became more relaxed on stage ever since the experience from back then. There’s a clear difference from when we had zero experience. It’s because we learnt how to make eye contact with the audience and how to connect with them. We had to create new performances every week so having to always put our heads together and look up things for the week’s stage was kind of hard. A week really didn’t seem long.

When did you harbour the dream of wanting to stand on stage?
My mum was watching the TV when she came across Rain’s stage and exclaimed how cool he was. With that one word, I formally learnt dance since I was 4.
MJ: When you watch concert videos, isn’t it mostly made up of the cheers and sounds of applause from the audience? I felt the bliss from those sounds. I imagined that one day I would also be able to hear the audience cheering and clapping for me as I stand on stage.
Moonbin: I appeared in DBSK’s Balloons music video when I was younger. I looked at them and it was then when I started to nurture my dreams of becoming a singer. If the opportunity arises in the future then I’d like to stand on stage together with them.
Yoon Sanha: Becoming a singer was my dad’s longtime dream. Even though he wasn’t able to realize his dreams because of complicated household circumstances, he would play the guitar every now and then at home and sing to me. Thoughts of wanting to fulfil my dad’s dream in his place crossed me.
JinJin: After hearing at a young age of 7 that becoming a celebrity would earn me a lot money, I dreamt of becoming one. Later on I fell in love at first sight watching Rain’s and Lee Hyori’s stages on TV and went head in preparing myself.

When was the moment you were the most proud of after having achieved your dream of becoming a singer?
As I was nurturing my dream, I would gain strength whenever I listened to music and there were lyrics I could empathise with. Now that I’ve become a singer myself, I think I can be a source of strength to someone else. A sense of responsibility is instilled in me just by having those kind of thoughts.
JinJin: I would talk to our fans through our official fancafe and we’d share our concerns with one another. Even now I’m still amazed at and proud of how we can give each other strength just through simple replies to comments or through short posts alone.

If there was a singer that ASTRO would like to take after?
Shinhwa who have maintained their firm teamwork for really long. I especially want to resemble them in terms of their constantly joyous atmosphere.

I noticed you were pulling pranks non-stop throughout the filming for today’s pictorial. ASTRO are definitely cheerful.
There’s no chance for us to be bored when the six of us are gathered together. In the dorm when one of us starts messing around, we’d react to him one after the other (laughs).

I heard the eldest MJ and the youngest Sanha are like ‘Tom and Jerry’.
Not too long ago I spotted the two having a water fight between themselves with the water from our water purifier. They’d get sulky with each other but also make up quickly.

Having six guys go around together would always make it feel like a sitcom.
Cha Eunwoo:
We have an even number of members so it’s good for betting. Even when we eat or drink coffee we’d have to go into it with a game no matter what. We’re recently really into bowling and screen baseball.
JinJin: Everyone puts their lives on the line the moment we start a game.
MJ: We were looking for new methods of stress relief and started healthily betting. Though if our team loses then it just means the stress continues to pile on (laughs).

There are people who relieve their stress with work.
I’ve been completely immersed in rap making. I get topics for my lyrics from various movies. Even with love stories, there are different kinds. I recently watched the movie 'Her’ and tried writing lyrics about the emotions I felt.
Rocky: I’d watch movies and then put myself in the situations which the protagonist faces. I’d write my lyrics imagining what I would say or what I would do in that moment if I was the protagonist.

I heard that Eunwoo is an exceptionally hardworker, one who doesn’t lose out to ASTRO’s rappers. The no.1 thing on your bucket list is apparently “obtaining 20 licenses”?
Cha Eunwoo:
I’ve got some leisure time lately so I started looking all out into the licenses and classes which I was originally interested in. At the residents’ center in my neighbourhood, you can learn sign language for only $2 per month. It’s a pity I couldn’t find a time in my schedule since I got busier because of comeback preparations. I also looked up the license for being a soccer referee. Apparently you need to sit down for a written test and be a referee for more than 100 matches. So I’ve given up on that license and started on tennis (laughs).

If ASTRO were to set a no.1 on their bucket list which they definitely want to see realised by this year?
Year end award ceremonies are an opportunity for us to a show a diverse performance on a stage that is so much bigger than our usual ones. We want to repay the huge amount of love we’ve received this year through a cool performance.

What kind of group do you want to be remembered as in the future by the public?
I hope their moods get lifted just by hearing the ASTRO name alone. If we were soda-like 'refreshing idols’ in the summer then for this autumn, you’ll be able to meet an ASTRO that is of course refreshing but even sexy as well.

Translations by @99p​mh
Take out with full credits

I Have a Secret~Part 1 (James Potter)

A/N: I’ve had a really shitty day and I haven’t posted anything for three days so here you go. I hope you like it cause it made me feel better writing it. Also this was supposed to be a one-shot but once again it got kinda long so I decided to split it up. Gif’s not mine.

Summary: You have a crush on James and haven’t told anyone. You can’t take it anymore and finally tell one of your friends, Sirius. Unfortunately you forget that Sirius is basically James’ brother and they tell each other everything.

Pairing: James Potter x reader

Word Count: 1501

Warnings: Swearing, to many feelings

Other Parts: Part 2

Originally posted by scrapbookofmarauders

-Y/N P.O.V.-

I couldn’t tell you the exact day that I fell in love with James Potter. I could only tell you that it had been a long time ago. We were friends and I just thought there was no point in ruining a good friendship over some one sided feelings. There was no way that anyone could tell me that these feelings were mutual because literally everyone in the damn school knew that James only had eyes for Lily Evans. That could have been part of the reason that I fell for James. He was always so sweet and caring towards Lily and I was jealous as fuck because there was no decent reason in my mind that could explain why he wasn’t like that towards me. Every time he was around her he would get nervous, try to ask her out and get shot down. He was adorable when he was nervous. He would run his fingers through his hair and try his best to act cool although he always ended up in the most unnatural position ever. Sometimes when the marauders and I were hanging out in the common room, I wouldn’t be able to focus because all I could think about was getting up and going over to sit with James. I would imagine him putting his arm around me or pulling e into his lap so that could just be peaceful for a little while in front of the crackling fire.

Keep reading

Locker Neighbours (Calum Hood Imagine) - Part 4

Summary: It’s been a month since the conversation they had at the barbecue where things went sour.

Requested: yes, I’ve taken so fkn long to update this butttttttt i had to finish this 

Warnings: swearing + talks of sex/manipulative relationships

A/N: this is trash, sorry for not posting last week ive been in such a shit mood recently. ill post something with some type of quality soon, i put this up just to give you guys something plus its been in my drafts for time x

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 (here)


A month. A whole damn month of awkward glances in lessons and school halls, but those don’t compete with his ability to avoid me at as much as possible. I’m angry at Calum and there’s no doubt about that; how could he just confess his feelings then do nothing about it? Sure, maybe I’m being unreasonable, but it’s not like he can go back and change the past or hide it forever.

“Y/N!” Michael exclaims, bringing me out my salty thoughts on a situation that currently has no resolution. “Yeah?” I casually respond as though I haven’t been ignoring him for the past minute or so. “You literally need to grow a pair and go talk to him first so that you can stop ignoring me while I talk to you.” He rolls his eyes at me. “How about you grow a pair and sort shit out with Sasha?” I snap back, using his own words against him. “How do you know I haven’t?” He sassily states. “Have you?” I raise an eyebrow. “Well, if by ‘sort shit out’ you mean, 'hey Sasha you look nice today’ and she replies 'fuck off clifford’, then yeah I sorted it out.” He proudly states. “You’re a lost cause.” As those words left my mouth, Calum walked past, his eyes locking with mine for a split second before quickly diverting to the snake he continues to pretend to love as she harshly drags him through the cafeteria to their prestige little table.


“Glance at her one more time and I swear to-” “What more do you want from me you bitch?” I hiss at Naomi who shoots lasers at me through her eyes. “You’re walking on a fine line, I suggest you watch your tongue before I-” “Do it,” I affirm. “Tell my parents, I’m done. You’ve pushed me around so much more for the past month and I can’t take it anymore. I already fucked up my chances with Y/N, now I can’t even look at her? What’s next, huh? You don’t want me breathing the same air as her?” I raise my voice, our friends- correction, her friends, beginning to listen in on our conversation. “Calum, you’re speaking loud.” She acknowledges, attempting to cover up her embarrassment by hiding behind her hair. “By tomorrow everyone will know, so don’t worry. Whatever this is, we’re done.” As I attempt to walk away, the psycho grabs onto my wrist and digs her long nails into my wrist. “You’re making a very big mistake, Calum.” “I made a very big mistake when I first dated you. Don’t ever grab me like I’m your possession.” I snap, yanking my wrist away from her grasp and storming off.

I couldn’t decide whether I should’ve spoken to my parents first or Y/N, yet by the time school had ended, I had no choice but to speak to my parents since Y/N was nowhere to be seen.

What if Naomi had already told my parents?

Keep reading

Why Being Boring is Awesome

In his advice book for creatives (Steal like an Artist), Austin Kleon has a chapter titled, “Be Boring.”

“Be boring,” Kleon says. “It’s the only way anything gets done.”

“I’m a boring guy,” he goes on, “with a nine-to-five job in a quiet neighborhood with his wife and his dog.”

Like Kleon, I’m a boring person. I do the exact same thing every day or every week. I haven’t been on a trip that wasn’t writing related in years. I almost never miss a day of work. Saturday mornings I work on my blog and every Sunday I go to church. It’s a good thing I’m a Hufflepuff, because I have the tenacity of a rock.

But things get done. (And money gets saved.)

Once in a while, I get messages from people online that go something like this:

Wow! I’ve read all the things you’ve done and what you are doing now, and all I can say is that I wish I were you and doing what you are doing!

I’m always flattered of course and appreciate each and every one of them.

But all the “cool” stuff other people see lasts about a second. They’re cool, so I share them. But most days I’m hunched over a computer for 7-8 hours. On weekdays I literally talk to 2-3 different people (I don’t have coworkers). To many people who look at me and my lifestyle, I appear utterly boring. In fact, to many outsiders, I give off the false appearance of utter stagnation. (And trust me, some of them let me know.)

I have a friend who is always out on adventures. It’s great. If he had any idea how boring I am, he might have different thoughts about our friendship …

But being boring can be awesome. Just as canyons are slowly carved out day after day, year after year, so is any “boring” productive thing you do strengthened and refined day after day, year after year.

I remember when I started blogging years ago, I looked at my friends’ blogs that were about 5 years old at the time and was a bit envious of their followers, commenters, and big backlogs. Many of those friends have moved onto other things, and that’s great. Strangely, soon my blog will be as old as theirs were at that time. Now I have my own followers, commenters, and a big backlog. Week by week this place has grown. When I began, I could hardly imagine writing so many posts. It felt so far away. But by being boring (read: consistent), week after week, it got there.

The same is true of any small, productive thing we do consistently. I’ve been doing yoga almost every day this year. I only do it for 20-30 minutes, and I don’t even leave home. I just follow yoga instructors on Youtube. Watching some of them, I feel a little envious of their flexibility and mobility. But no one got to that point overnight. Day after day, year after year, they were consistent.

I’m sure people come up to them, and say, “Wow! I wish I could do what you could do!” And the truth is, most of them can–if they are willing to put in the few minutes regularly, week after week, year after year. But often when people make such comments, they don’t fully fathom the patience, work, and tenacity it took to get there, which are all “boring” traits.

In a strange way, it seems you can accomplish almost anything, if you are boring.

Boring isn’t necessarily the same as being lazy. Though if you are boring by being lazy day after day, you will reap those “benefits” also.

People who are boring in the context I’m referring to understand this scripture:

Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass

To some of the world, I may seem foolish, doing the same things day after day. In fact, 6-7 years ago, I had a friend who honestly had the attitude that working hard at something you want is stupid and unnecessary. That person would even point out others who were working hard in derogatory ways. Last year, when that friend saw some of the “cool” things I was doing, they came to me and asked point-blank, “How do I get to do what you are doing?”

True story.

The reality is, I’ve learned a lot of significant things being boring. I’ve learned a lot about myself, human nature, society, and ideas. There is something about long-term (but productive) stability that clears your vision in ways other things can’t. I don’t know if I would have believed it if I hadn’t experienced it firsthand.

Keep reading

We Need To Talk- Jonah Marais

Important authors note below

Warning long imagine ahead!

Jonah Marais

“Look, I’m not saying you’re repulsive, I’m just saying I can’t seem to look at you without thinking of punching you in the face and kick your ass.” The tone of your voice was laced with such hatred to your now ex. A coffee table between your bodies. You just caught your boyfriend in bed with your so-called-friend.

“Babe, let me explain.” He looked at you with worry written on his face.

“Okay, fine, explain to me why I just walked in on you fucking my friend!” you raised your voice, not caring if your neighbors heard you two fight.

“You spend more time with that precious band of yours than you do with me!” he shouted back.

“I’m their publicist! It’s my job!” You shouted back, last time you two fought it was because of your careers high attention demands. You were a very well known publicist to many people. But your most recent client is a new boy band. They were literally the same age as you. You were such a young publicist, but it wasn’t strange you had been doing this since basically birth. Your parents being the biggest publicists agency out there in L.A.

“It’s always your job! You never make time for me!” He shouted.

“So you go and fuck my friend!? How does that make sense?!” You were beyond pissed. Within the short few months of getting to know the boys, you grew extremely close to them. You do admit you spend more time with them than any other client you have. You have an actual connection with them. They are in your age group. 16-19.

“You cannot stand there and blame me for this! You and I both know you cheated first! I saw you and Jonah kissing! At your 19th birthday party! On the roof. I saw you! He kissed you and you kissed him back!” He had tears falling down his face.

“I didn’t kiss him back. he kissed me! I told him I had a boyfriend.” You sighed. You can’t blame the end of your relationship all on him. You had to take some responsibility.

“Just admit it! You love him more than me!” His face red with anger.

“Fine! Yes! I fell in love with Jonah!” You had never said you loved anyone other than your parents. Whenever Aaron said he loved you, you would say ‘me too.’ or 'ditto’ or sometimes even 'right back atcha’ You two had only been together for a few months.

You were both panting. He never actually thought you did have such strong feelings for the band member. He never wanted for it to be true. But here you were, telling him you did love the Why Don’t We band member.

“Did you ever even love me?” He whispered. You looked to the ground. Not wanting to deny nor confirm.

“I have to go. I have a meeting with Logan and the boys.” You said, wanting to leave this emotionally hard situation.

“Answer me!” He shouted at you, spit flying towards you and landing on the glass table.

“No! I never loved you!” You raised your voice, answering immediately. You grabbed your maverick back pack, cell phone and keys. Walking towards the door.

“When you come back, you will pack your stuff up and leave. I will take your name off the lease tomorrow. And you will never hear from me or see me. Because you’re dead to me.” He gritted, turning towards to the bedroom.

As you walked to the elevator you pulled your phone out and sent Jonah a quick message.

Me: We need to talk.

Jonah: Okay whats wrong?

read at 8:10 PM

Jonah: Y/N, you have me worried.

Jonah: Y/N whats wrong?

Jonah: Y/N answer me

Jonah: Please?

read at 8:28 PM

Me: I’m on my way to your place

Me: Everything is okay. I promise.

Jonah: OK

Jonah: Drive safely

read at 8:32 PM

When you arrived at the house you walked to the door, the door opening and out comes Jonah. he pulled you into a tight embrace. He sighed as you pulled apart.

“What happened?” He asked, looking into your eyes that he had fallen head over heels for.

“I caught Aaron fucking Dacy in our bed.” You stated, not being phased by it. Jonahs worried expression turned imminently to anger in less than 2.5 seconds.

“It’s okay though because I did something today I have never done before!” You smiled up at him. His expression switching over to confusion.

“What?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I finally admitted my true feelings about someone.”

“Who? What feelings?” He asked, not wanting to be disappointed but also wanting to be a good friend and hearing you out.

“For you.” You paused, his eyes whipping from your feet to your eyes.

“I love you, Jonah. I finally admitted it to myself tonight. Aaron asked me if I loved you and I said I had fa-” Your ranted was interrupted by Jonah’s lips crashing into yours. Instantly shutting you up. You leaned into the kiss more. Your hand going to the nape of his neck as his went to your waist, pulling you closer to his body. He tilted his head a little to the right, deepening the kiss. At first, it was sweet and passionate now all you felt was lust. Jonah pulled away before anything else could happen outside in the middle of the driveway.

“I love you too, Y/N. I’m in love with you too.” He panted, trying to control his breathing, you both were. Panting like crazy, that kiss took your breath away.

“Good.” You smiled up at Jonah, his smile visible from the moon.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked, his arms still wrapped around your waist, your hands still in his hair.

“Yes, of course!” You exclaimed, giggling at his smile.

“By the way, I need a place to stay for a while, can I crash here for a couple of days?” You asked, earning a laugh from Jonah.

“Only if you are a little OCD like Jack and Daniel.” He laughed, making you giggle as well. “No, I’m just joking. Of course, you can crash here for a bit.”

Hello, my beautiful people!

It’s Karen here! I just finished reading an authors note from one of my favorite WDW imagines book. I feel like I should just post this to let you all know.

I’m here for you.

If you need me, I’m here.

You can DM me and maybe I’ll give you my number. Because Wattpad had a terrible system for me for some reason. I don’t get notifications for private messages, just emails.

But if you need me for anything I’ll be there.

I have a small story time for you.

Since I just randomly said “I’m here for you”

I was diagnosed as a high-risk depressed teenager with a high risk of anxiety and moderate PTSD. In the past four years, I have lost at least 6 people that had some sort of hold on who I am.

I lost a very kind hearted friend my freshman year of high school to a heart condition.

I lost my grandfather my sophomore year in high school to cancer.

I lost my grandmother my junior year to a virus and old age.

I lost a friend that always seemed to be laughing and cracking jokes in my junior year to a bad accident.

I lost another friend who seemed to be smiling almost always, in my senior year to a drug over dosage.

Lastly, I lost one of my best friends who always made it his mission to make me smile a little over a month ago to himself.

My freshmen and sophomore year in high school I was sexually assaulted. By someone I thought was my friend and my best friends, brother. During the same time, without the either one knowing of the other. I almost killed myself on many different occasions. I have so many self-harm scars from then. I couldn’t see myself living past 17 years old.

When my 18th birthday came around, I was emotionally and mentally healthier. I didn’t see the guys who assaulted me, on a daily basis. One moved away because of school and the other stayed home and went to work. I rarely ever saw him.  

It took a lot of hard work and time to make it but I eventually graduated. I got into a four-year university. I had been on a good streak of not hurting myself. I was genuinely happy.

32 days after my high school graduation, I lost one of the most important people in my life.

One of my best friends, Austin. He lost himself. And so did our class. We all took the news pretty hard. I barely slept. Barely ate. I cried all the time. I met up with his parents and we all just laughed and smiled at memories. We even cried. He left us broken. But we are all leaning on each other. Like our lives depend on it. Because for me, it does. He helped through so much!

And now, he’s gone.

50 days later and I still hurt about it. I haven’t hurt myself in any way shape or form. In times f need I feel his hand on my back or my shoulder or my arm. And I see his piercing blue eyes. And I just break all over again. But then I come back to reality and I think:






He would try to realize the reason behind why this is happening. And to live life to the fullest, just like he was going to.

I made a promise to him. I would be better in college. I would try and be a better daughter, sister, friend, stranger, author. He made it his mission to not have anyone feel excluded. I am making it my mission to not just think of myself but think of others. If I start something, I’m going through with it. Start thinking happy thought instead of sad suicidal ones.

I admit, every once in a while some suicide thought run through my mind but then I hear his voice in my head.

“You’re better than that”

So now,  I’m telling you that if you need anyone to talk to, I’m here. Talk to me. And I will help you to the best of my ability.

This is the first Authors note in here besides the welcome note in the beginning.

If you read this, thank you.

If you didn’t well, you wouldn’t know.

P.S. I am writing this at like 3 in the morning. Why? I couldn’t sleep. I keep feeling Austin here with me. I honestly feel like I’m going crazy, just a little bit.

P.S. PT.2: I seem to be doing a lot of Jonah imagines. Oops. If you want you could DM me some requests. I don’t mind

-Karen Oriz


JB Imagine - Pranking (Fake Dating)

A/N : Hey guys hope you enjoy it, let me know if I should do a part two or sequel ? Be sure to follow and like for more. Also feel free to request one for yourself. Much love .xx

You and Justin have been fake dating for 4 months. It’s still something you can’t take in and well we can say neither can he. You’re probably questioning as to why is it something he can’t take in ? Well, Justin was expecting a model or famous type of girlfriend in which that definitely wasn’t you. You both had met by Hailey, after seeing years later since highschool and you moving. Who would have thought you would meet up again on a plane. Everyone loved you, as in Scooter, Za, Ryan and the rest of Justin’s friends along with his family. I guess your bubbly personality worked the charm on everyone except for Justin.

It was a hot sunny day out in LA. It was the perfect day for non other than a swim had I thought as I was interrupted from my daydreaming by my phone ringing. Surprisingly it was Ryan. He only calls me unless it’s something serious because other than that matter we speak everyday so this must be important. “Hey Ryan” I said happily. “Hey Y/N, I have something important to tell you so listen up” he said. “Thought as much. Go ahead” I said getting curious by the minute.

“Okay since I’m your best friend and I thought I should tell you this because it would be even funnier. Justin is on his way and he intends to prank you” He said excitedly. “Go on..” i said wanting to hear more. “So play it cool when he comes and backfire his prank” he said. “Consider it game on. I’m so going to post this on my channel. I have to go set up. Thanks for telling me Ryan aha you’re the best” I said as I quickly hung up.

I went to my room to grab 2 cameras in which I setted up in the house in order to catch footage of our prank. I didn’t forget the thought of wanting to swim. I grabbed my neon pink triangl bikini, threw on my floral kimono and headed to the pool with my phone to keep me occupied along with my sunglasses.

I layed down on the sunbed in the partial shade area and checked my instagram. 10 minutes later, guess who drops by…?

I didn’t dare turn my gaze towards him and instead pretended his presence wasn’t here. “Hey Y/N” I turned around to see that Ryan had tagged along with Justin. I guess he’s going to witness this go down. Justin rarely spoke to me because well I’m his fake girlfriend and the only time we talk is when were forced to. In which does hurt me because even though I may be acting for him, deep down I’m actually in love with him though I doubt he’d feel the same.

“Oh hey Ryan. It’s so good to see you” i said as I stood up to hug him. I swear I could see a sting of jealousy in Justin, probably because I’m just in this bikini or maybe… Nah I don’t think so. “Same here” he said. He then winked at me as I sat down and he sat next to me on my left. My gaze had then met Justin’s presence and in which shall I say I was thankful that I was wearing sunglasses so he could barely see me look at him because he was shirtless in just joggers and nike high tops. That was enough to kill me.

“Uhh hey Y/N can we talk” he asked as he rubbed the back of his neck. Game on. “Yeah sure” I said as I locked my phone and sat upwards to face him sitting on the sunbed on my right. “Okay so I have no idea how to say this but..” he trailed. “But what Justin ?” I asked curiously as to what was his idea of pranking me. “Okay just here me out alright? ” he said playing it as if he did something wrong. Ain’t working babe thanks to Ryan. “Okay so 2 weeks ago remember when we went out for my birthday to that new club ?” he said. “Yeah…What about it ?” I trailed. “Well, uhh I got drunk and I guess so was Hailey.. We ended up doing it and now she think she’s pregnant” he said trying to sound serious. Really ? Of all people he uses Hailey ? That too of all things saying she’s pregnant ?

“Are you fricking serious ?” I questioned. Time for my backfire. He nodded his head as he looked down. “OMG. Okay good than I don’t have to feel bad. We’re even now” I said smiling at my remark as i let out a sigh of relief as I stood up to head to the kitchen. Footsteps were following me and so the fun begins.

“Wait. What do you mean even ? What did you do ?” He asked getting pissed and curious at the same time. I opened the fridge to get myself a bottle of water as I turned to him. “Well my stories a bit similar. Anyways remember like last week or so I told you I went to Cameron and Nash’s apartment to film a video for my channel ?” I asked. “Yeah…” he trailed. “Well while Cameron and I started making the video like towards the end or so we didn’t actually complete the video though uhh instead we may have had a makeout session and uhh we also did it” I said plainly trying not to laugh.

“And ?” He questioned. “Justin. I think I may be pregnant” I said serious. “Are you being serious right now ?” He questioned tensed. “Yeah Justin. I’m so sorry. I know we’re dating and everything, we both screwed up but I’m sure we can work this out” I said trying to convince him into the prank. “No we can’t Y/N. What the fuck man ? This was all supposed to be a prank and you’re telling me you’re fucking pregnant with some shitty Youtubers kid ?” He said with jealousy clear in his voice. Ryan must so be enjoying the front row watch. Justin then walked off running his fingers through his hair roughly. Oh my gosh even when he’s mad he looks hot.

“Oh come on Justy. We can work this out” I said as I wrapped my arms around him which was a first of me in which he was probably shocked of my actions. “No we can’t Y/N. You have no idea how fucked this is right now. This was all supposed to be a prank” he said as he left my embrace and walked back to the pool area where he last sat.

“Okay Justin” I said as I sat in front of him trying to gain his attention. I then did my next unexpected move and sat on his lap which was also another first for me. “Justin. Listen to me. I have something else important to tell you ?” I said as I lifted his chin. “Can this get any worse ?” He asked as he made eye contact with me. “I think it may..” i said as I lowered my head. “Okay just tell me what is it ?” He said sadly. “Justin..You’ve just been pranked by your own girlfriend” I shouted in his face as I got up to high five Ryan. “Thanks Ry” I said as we both turned to Justin to see his reaction. “Remind me again as to what made me all of a sudden fall for you ?” He murmured to himself.

Do networks treat their shows and creators  with Respect?

You know animation is in amazing place right now. Both now and in recent years we have gotten so many amazing cartoons that have pushed the bounds of imagination while being enjoyable for people of all ages.  Gravity Falls challenged the fans to observe their show closely and try to discover a mystery before it was revealed in the show.  Wander over Yonder shared an amazing message that no matter how bad things may be you should never give up hope. Even Adventure Time, a show that started off goofy, have evolved over the years and showed the trials of growing up by following Finn life.  I mean sure, we still have plenty of shows that suck:

Originally posted by pickleandpeanutgifs

but the good outweighs the bad in my opinion. With all these amazing shows it makes me think of one question though. “Do networks really treat their shows with respect?

Keep reading

I’m Home-Daniel Howell X Reader

Title: I’m Home

Word Count: 2851 (it’s probably the longest I’ve ever posted)

Pairing: Daniel Howell x Reader

Warnings: Angst (but not very heavy), mentions of cheating, there’s one swear word in there. Written in 1. POV instead of 2. POV.

A/N: I wrote this kinda long ago, but I was hesitant to post it for some weird reason. But then I went through it now, edited it a little bit, and deemed it ready.



His pearly white smile. His warm, chocolate eyes. I walked towards him. As we stood chest to chest, his arms slid around my waist, and mine wrapped themselves around his neck. I leaned my forehead against his chest and breathed in the warm, sweet smell of him. I was home.

*Months earlier*

I tapped my fingers on my knee to the rhythm of the music.

“But I’m only human! And I bleed when I fall down. I’m only human! And I crash and I break down. Your words in my head, knives in my heart, you build me up, and then I fall apart, cause I’m only human!”

As the plane started to descend, and the seatbelt sign lighted up, butterflies started to flutter in my stomach. The nervous kind, not the good kind.

Today I would see him again. Daniel Howell. I hadn’t left it at a good place. Screaming mean words to each other at one-thirty in the night. I was sure they’d gotten a noise complaint, but I had left before they would’ve received it.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i just started writing again (simonvsbram is the blog i'm posting on for that) and idk do you have any advice? i'm here to supply the simonvs fandom with as many fics as i'm able

K, hoping @simonvsbram (welcome, welcome!!!) does not mind, but I am going to hijack this ask and turn it into a long, multipurpose post.

(First, go read their fic! It’s called “Greenfeld”,” and it’s way cute! It’s got some awesome Garrett stuff, and it’s Bram POV, how can you not like Bram POV?)


I’m going to start with some general Simon Vs. fandom advice, directed at anyone.

1) Contribute! Our fandom is bite-sized at the moment, but that is seriously liable to change soon. Get in now! I literally read SVTHSA only like three months ago, and have managed to worm my way in.

Write fic! Any fic! And make art! Make random Tumblr posts about it! Go on the Discord!

2) Most popular Tumblr tags are: #simonvs, #simon vs, #svthsa. I’m pretty sure the word “homo” can’t be used in a tag, so if you’re doing the title, go for #simon vs the homosapiens agenda or #simon vs the homosapien agenda.

3) The Discord is an awesome place to chat about Simon or Upside, which I am terrible at visiting, but you totally should, if you haven’t: https://discordapp.com/invite/BusWwd3 

4) Can only speak for myself here, but asks (both anonymous and otherwise) are great! Will 100% give answer about anything Simon-related (or probably anything bookish at all). You can totally talk to me! It might take a few days, but I’ll try! But if you’re asking me or anyone else anything at all, always remember that there’s a human on the other end of that screen. Let’s all be nice :D

5) Speaking of this, one of the things I love about SVTHSA is just how…kind it is? Will prob do a whole post about it sometime, but like, angsty assholes aren’t glorified for being angsty assholes in Becky’s books. Let’s all be kind and supportive of each other around here, too! (To clarify, I’m not responding to anything, but just, this little fandom is so lovely, let’s keep it that way!)

Now, general Simon fic advice, too. This is also for anyone.

1) Let’s talk about structure for a minute. SVTHSA is written in the first person, present-tense. You absolutely don’t have to mimic this style. If you don’t feel comfortable writing this way, don’t. I basically can’t write in the first-person, and I probably never will. I HAVE done a couple of Simon fics in present-tense, and wow, is that an uphill-battle. Do what makes you comfortable, and make sure to edit for verb tense. Stay consistent (this is sooooooo hard for me, I always have to do a bunch of edits even AFTER I’ve posted a fic).

2) Use your tags. You have to remember that SVTHSA is one of those rare queer stories that has a happy ending. It is a safe, happy mental space for a lot of people.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t be writing angst! Write the angstiest fic you can imagine! Write a long, angsty Simon/Bram breakup fic if you really, really want. (I would read the fuck out of it, but be miserable every moment.) Hell, my current fic is a wee bit angsty. No one can or should police that. But like I said, use your tags. Tag slurs. Tag bullying. Tag angst. And respect that some people might not want to read those things.

4) It is both incredibly weird and incredibly awesome to have an author who reads fic, and even tweets about it sometimes. What a concept! Don’t let this affect you, though. Fic how you’d normally fic. Don’t let the fact that Becky Albertalli may some day see your sex scene prevent you from writing said sex scene.

5) Read, review, and give kudos to other people’s fics, when you can. Let’s have all the mutual love around here!

6) Write AUs. This isn’t directed at anyone. It’s not even really advice. Just, the existing Simonverse AUs are my favorite things in the universe, so. Can someone make this happen? Um, please?

7) I want to end on a note about everyone’ fave, Bram. Guys, I fucking love Bram. A gay, Black, Jewish, shy, nerdy, sweet, athlete love interest? He’s awesome.

But (and this goes out to you specifically if you, like me, are white), he is also a human being, with a complex inner life. Let’s all remember that. (I’m not directing this to anyone, nor have I seen anyone who this should be directed to. It’s just that I think there are about to be A LOT more Simon fics soon, and Bram is going to be the subject of A LOT of them.)

Especially when we’re writing fic, let’s all be real careful not to fetishize him (or Simon for that matter). Bram is fucking wonderful, but he is not pure and perfect, as much as we may adore him and joke about it. He makes mistakes in SVtHSA. He’s a human with flaws worth exploring. We owe it to him to explore them, sometimes.

P.S. I seriously wasn’t kidding about those AUs? Zookeepers? FBI agents? Teachers? Neighbors? I’m waiting, folks.

Oh, and I’m one to talk, but some more Leah/Abby for me to read would be fantastic. If anyone is inclined.

5 Things I Didn’t Know When I Started Cosplaying

I’ve been delaying posting on this blog because I have lots of ideas for things I want to write but none of them seemed worthy of being the First Post™. I think the first post on any blog is always a bit awkward because you know it’s probably not going to be read by many, at least not right away. So if you are reading this post as some archival interloper at some point in the near or distant future, welcome! I hope listicles are still as trendy as they were when I wrote this post.

Keep reading

Music to write Torn by

Just after I’d delivered the second draft of Torn - in the end there were three drafts plus two short “production drafts”, where only tiny changes in dialogue were asked for right before they locked it as a shooting script - I found myself emailing with our brilliant exec producer Juliet about the various processes writers have to get a draft done.

I told her that for me, it was imagining how the actors would look and sound doing and saying certain things, and music. Always music. I know some writers who prefer silence and they BAFFLE AND CONFUSE me. I can’t do it. To me, silence is just a huge void of “Why can’t you type anything? / Why have you just typed that load of shit?” That still happens regardless, but with my headphones blasting something, it’s not as crushing. I told Juliet that I had a long playlist to write to, and certain songs for specific characters and moments, including the one I listened to over and over and over again whilst crying at 2am trying to write one scene. (No, you don’t get a prize for guessing which scene yes obviously it was that one.) I’d like to share that playlist with you now, and talk a little about how it connected the characters for me along the way.

(Skip down to the first video below & play - it really kicks in after about 2 mins)

When I got the WB job, I started on a playlist almost straight away - if I recall, the night that Ep 1 of S4 had gone out. Now I’d met the new characters, and seen the new style of shooting, I went to my iTunes (30,000+ tracks all stored on an offline PC running on XP and iTunes 9 - FUK U APPLE MUSIC YOU ARE NEVER REPLACING MY RARE TRACKS) and started throwing in music that said this one thing to me -

- running through the city at night, surrouded by lights.

Didn’t have to be running as a wolf, just needed that rush, that feeling. This netted me 5 or 6 tracks. I tried to stick to recent-ish things (circa April 2016), and mainly British artists. Anything with energy, screaming “city!”. Then I got corny and searched every Wolfblood related word I could think of - moon, howl, wolf, run, teeth, etc - to see if that threw up anything good. (More on that below.) This was a start, and was what I took up to the writers room in Salford. (On that journey, I also played the hell out of Try Everything from Zootropolis, which I had seen the Friday before. I especially played it on the tram out to MediaCity basically so I could arrive there for the first time like Judy Hopps.)

When I got back from the room, I worked on the playlist, adding a few more tracks (the full Aurora album was out by now as well and was the kind of thing I buy & love anyway) over the next couple of months while I was waiting for the real work to start. So, by the time August rolled around, and my story outline was locked… I. WAS. READY.

I try to avoid too much existing film music on a playlist because generally it’s already got a strong connection to something visual, but an exception was the opening track on my list, from the 1979 movie The Warriors. I know a lot of people who grew up with this film, but I only saw in a couple of years ago, when the full score was released on limited CD, and that’s where this track is from.

When I made this my opening track, it was merely to set mood. Creepy city night moving into propulsive action. But when my story changed in July and my opening became the scenes of Emilia, Madoc and Hafren stalking the city… OHMYGOD can you imagine more perfect music to write that too? And when they filmed those scenes I was there and could hear this music in my mind as I watched them walk. Magic.

(There actually seems to be another nod to The Warriors in Ep 5, when Birdie taunts “Wolfbloods, come out to play…” I must ask Ed if it’s intentional.)

Then I had the 30 second title version of Running With The Wolves on my iPod, so it was essentially like listening to my episode start after the teaser (”They think so.”) and then away we go. And yes, my nerdery knows no bounds.

I may skip around the actual order of the playlist now to talk about it, but the playlist linked at the bottom of the post is the order of the tracks on my iPod, so go hit that and enjoy.

First up after the titles, TURN THE MUSIC LOUDER (RUMBLE). This is everything I said above. This is running through a loud, lit city at night. This track gets me so fired up, and though I love love love Katy B & Tinie Tempah’s voices, the extended instrumental was the best one to get my blood going - especially when it was 1am and I’d just cued the playlist for the fourth time that night. When that beat kicks in at 46 seconds <3

Chaleur Humaine was such an important album to me last year. It was an album I got a few weeks before getting the job, which was also the week my grandma had a fall and went to hospital and… all that’s on my instagram, go look. Point being, I *needed* this album last year. So it was obvious some songs would make their way onto the list, and TILTED is just… It’s audio heaven to me. And while I was still finishing Torn, they’d started shooting Block 1, and a video went up of Jack dancing to this in the green room. So when you’re listening to the same thing the cast is, you kind of know you’ve chosen well. “But I’m actually good / Can’t help it if we’re tilted” could almost be a WB motto. We’re not human, but that doesn’t make us bad - just tilted. Later, iT was a song for Jana, “I’m a man now” becoming a stand-in for “I’m an Alpha now”.

Raleigh Ritchie, aka Jacob Anderson, aka Grey Worm on GoT. How talented can one guy be? (Plus he used to follow me on Twitter when he had a seperate Jacob account and we’d talk movies and trade puns a bit.) If you haven’t heard You’re A Man Now, Boy, do it right now (or when you’ve finished reading this). Anyway, these songs keyed me *straight* into TJ. “This is a blue town / And I feel a Gene Kelly moment comin’ on” is sooooooooo TJ. That boundless optimism, even when the world is falling down, that sense of play and fun and joy about being a Wolfblood - more than that, being Terence Cipriani, the one and only. But he still can’t *quite* get it together with Selina, even though he *totally* should, so BLOODSPORT ‘15 got me into their scenes** together, and then when Raleigh is joined on THE CHASED by his real life partner, the amazing Aisling Loftus, that basically became TJ and Selina singing together.

**There’s not a lot of TJ and Selina in Torn, which is a regret, because I love them so much. I did write them some other scenes (while they’re waiting for Hartington, and in the Den at the end) but they were cut for time before shooting. They were nice in isolation, with Selina supporting TJ (he’s still worried about the chip having been in him), then him supporting her after her parents are taken, but they didn’t really contribute to the story, and as you saw, we had quite a few events to blast through in 27 minutes as it was.

ROMAN HOLIDAY by Halsey is almost an odd one out - one of only 2 American tracks on the list, but something about it struck me as right for Torn. “We’ll be looking for sunrise”, and “for now let’s get away” maybe? But it always felt like it belonged there.

The Wolf Alice tracks were the one of two results from my Wolfblood-related word search. Full disclosure - I had the Wolf Alice album and EP but they hadn’t grown on me yet when I put these on the list. That all changed as these songs became essential to the writing. STORMS seemed to fit for both Jana and Matei, as both are being told things by people and wonder the refrain over and over again “Who are your friends, your friends, your friends…”. By the third draft this always put me in Matei’s head. FREAZY became a big Jana song, as she tries to navigate ties and deals throughout the show, but always open to hope “You can join us if you think you’re wild / You can join us if you’re a feral child / Our love is cool”. “You can hate us all you want but it don’t mean nothing at all”, Jana just keeps Jana’ing, like a fucking boss. YOUR LOVES WHORE was kind of an all purpose track to again serve that big city tone, but the more I listened to it, the more the insistent beat and heavy guitars felt like Selina. She could be talking to TJ (”I could be your perfect girl”?) or she could be taking on the world, because she is Selina Khan and she will kick you in the face whilst delivering a cutting comment, then one minute later come out with the sweetest gesture you’ve ever seen.

I used the other Aurora songs to mainly access Emilia and Hafren. CONQUEROR is basically Hafren’s entire mission statement. Despite being swayed in method by Madoc, Hafren is a pure WB, just like Emilia tells her. That was a really important scene to me - one that never changed from the first draft. I wanted to have a scene that showed just what a good Alpha Emilia has been when she’s not trying to start a fight. Hafren may deploy her aggression very easily, but she’s doing it for very clear - almost innocent, really - reasons. She really believes, and when she howls and raises her fist on the castle, it should be that pure moment of triumph (along with an “oooooohhhh shit” moment equivilant to shutting down the grid in Ghostbusters in terms of WB/human relations). Laura G was amazing, coming to those short scenes with brilliant notes on what they meant to Hafren that completely chimed with my thinking, and I really can’t explain to you just how amazing it was to be up there and see and hear her howl like that.

TILL THE END by Lucy Rose was almost a chillout section in the middle of writing for me. It feels very fresh and optimistic, and can work for any number of characters, including Katrina. And if you want to take the lyrics “‘Cause I want to believe / That I will keep fighting 'till the end / And I should have believed / That you were much more than just a friend” and apply it to what Katrina is feeling after she hears what she does in this episode, I’m not going to stop you…

Katrina is a segue into what I always thought of as the Kafe section of songs, from Florrie through Karen Harding & Little Mix to Hailee Steinfeld. All great modern pop songs that I love and could imagine playing on the radio in the Kafe, backgrounding the long talk the pack have at the beginning. If there’s going to be a day when BLACK MAGIC doesn’t get me feeling upbeat and happy, I don’t want to know about it. Hailee Steinfeld is also the only other invading American song on the list, but the Kafe is a place where that doesn’t feel strange.

After the Kafe section and before Bloodsport ;15, I had another song I can’t add on Spotify -

I have the proper studio version of this, on a sampler for Chlöe Howl’s album that never came out, which is a fucking tragedy because wow. I love her, I loved every song she put out, and this song was sooooo important to the script. It works for Jana and Emilia and Matei… it takes them a long time to trust someone. And now some of those trusts are breaking down, and some are building again. (Howl was the other result from my wolf word searching, but I can’t imagine I’d have gone into battle without at least one Chlöe song regardless.)

The only other song on the playlist I can’t include here is SLOWDIVE by Gemma Hayes, which is an exclusive song I got for putting in an amount of £ to back the album that became Bones + Longing. It’s a really beautiful song - it sounds like audio sunlight and green fields, and I used it mainly to write Emilia teaching Matei Eolas. Nothing on the album sounds exactly like it, but check out Bones + Longing and Gemma’s previous album Let It Break for a taste, and because they’re amazing.

For the longest time - before the July story change that landed the Kafe Escape scene into Torn, HEY NOW (BONOBO REMIX) was the only song on the list that represented Robyn. It’s *very* city at night music, and I kind of imagined it being something she’d listen to on headphones in her room, laying awake and thinking of a person sleeping not very far away, and what she was starting to mean to her. It’s one for looking at the rain streaming down your window and hugging your covers tighter.

Another song like that is HEARTLESS. Oh my musical god. Really. This is one of the songs that went on the list that first night. I can listen to it endlessly. It represents everyone, in every space we go to. Kafe, Den, streets, wild. I can even access *Madoc* with this song (And it was important to understand Madoc and his reasons, but I can’t go into that now for spoilers. But I get why he’s doing what he does.) This is simply a key song in the creation of Torn.

Believe it or not, in my first draft, we had a car chase! I know!! Basically Hartington was somewhere else than the gym, and they all piled into Jones’s vehicle to track him on the roads before cornering him. Then everything went down the way it does in the ep now, but still, car chase! Then of course production said we could spend the enormous amount of money the chase would cost on better things, so can they just ambush him as he leaves the gym? But for the time the chase existed, the theme from The Warriors returned in BASEBALL FURIES CHASE to go with it.

The third Aurora song, I WENT TOO FAR was always Emilia to me. Perhaps not in lyrics, but in voice and feel. Has she gone too far? Maybe in some part of her mind. But she can relate to the “Crying 'give me some love, give me some love and hold me” part. For all the strength she takes in her pack, she’s so happy to get Matei back. It was a joy to write those scenes reuniting the siblings, and I am so so so happy with the Eolas scene. That’s been the same - bar literally changing one single word - since my first draft, and Sydney blew me away with how beautifully she delivered it. I hadn’t seen anything of that scene until Monday, and … yeah, it’s so so beautiful. Sydney, Jack, the look, the music. <3

The last Christine and the Queens song, NIGHT 52, I used to track the deleted Den scene, which came inbetween Madoc slipping away from the party and his call. Not much happened - it was really Jana, Imara, TJ & Selina trying to figure out a way to do… anything… to help the situation they’re in now. So it was sombre and quiet and though I’m now glad it’s gone (aside from missing the TJ & Selina beat mentioned above), this beautiful track gave it life.

So, it’s late July, and my story now includes a certain scene, and yeeaaahhhhh, gonna need some specific music for this one. Thankfully a couple more albums had come out recently. First, Nothing’s Real, by Shura. How good? Is it even measurable how good it is? And it gave me two songs in particular that seemed really Robyn, who was now so much more important to the episode. MAKE IT UP, with all the talk of waking up in the night, was like a companion to the London Grammar song, but 2SHY? That might as well be the narrative in Robyn’s head in the days leading up to Torn. “It’s taken me so long / Maybe I’m just too shy to say it / We could be more than friends / Maybe I’m just too shy / Too shy.” Wanting desperately to say something but too professional and maybe even hesitant to say it, until one awful event leads them to a very specific set of circumstances. They weren’t outside at the time. They weren’t downstairs, where Robyn could have quickly bolted out of the back door. No. They were up in the flat. One terrible moment, as brutish men crash into their lives, leads them to the only exit - to that window - and that moment, that perhaps could not have happened at any other time. And suddenly something terrible becomes something beautiful…

And that’s where HEAR YOU CALLING by Birdy comes in. It just hit me in the heart. In the music, in the lyrics (“I could take my make-up and put a brave face on” could be a mantra for Katrina during recent events), in Birdy’s beautiful voice. *This* was the song for that moment, and I played it and played it and played it. I left this scene to almost the last in my first draft, as I basically knew what I wanted to do with it, it just needed to be done right. So it was about 2am on the second night of writing when I cued the track for the first time. (I wrote the first draft over two nights in a 24 hour cafe, which is a useful thing Plymouth has for writers. And hey, a few months later I was reading Lucy Sutcliffe’s amazing Girl <3 Girl AND GUESS WHICH CAFE SHE MENTIONS HANGING OUT IN!!111!!)

And then I wrote the scene, over and over. Every line of description, every line of dialogue read and re-read and changed until it flowed with the music, and we reach that moment where Robyn stops herself from leaving, and the chorus kicks in on her declaration to Katrina…

And because Katrina is just a glorious wonderful beating heart of a human being she responds to Robyn with love and *that* **Alpha** ***headtouch*** and that human red red kiss that says come back to me and then Robyn’s gone until they meet again…

Every night when the sun goes down
And I’m left in this lonely town
I hear you calling me, hear you calling me, yeah
Every time that I say goodbye
Every night when I close my eyes
I hear you calling me, hear you calling me

Take me home, take me home, don’t know this place
Are you there wondering if I’m lying awake
Thinking of you?
Take me home, take me home, don’t know this place
Are you there wondering if I’m lying awake
Thinking of you?
Oh, my beautiful summer
How the winter makes me wonder
Where you’ve gone

And then a few weeks later they started using Hear You Calling for the opening titles of Our Girl, but they cut if off before the best bit anyway, so I’m planting the flag in it for us.

And finally, we’re back to the city, literally, with IN THE CITY, the end credits song from The Warriors, that just feels like the end of a very long day - but one where you have hope for the future, which is exactly what our pack need at the end of Torn, and what I needed because hearing this song meant I’d been writing for a couple of hours, and probably had loads left to do, and was about to start the music all over again…

Anyway, here’s the music that helped me with Torn - I hope you enjoy at least some of it!


Ari’s 2 Year Re-Birthday a.k.a Halloween 2016

As I mentioned in my last post, I have hit my 2-year mark of being on Hormone Replacement Therapy. I celebrate this day as a second birthday. It marks the beginning of the period in my life when gender dysphoria no longer had its horrific grip on me. (I still deal with it at times of course, but HRT is a life saving treatment. This is truly my Re-Birthday :)

A year ago, I was in a situation where I was still getting used to living on my own and I was just starting to be able to be in public while letting the walls down and just being myself. That year, I spent my Re-Birthday alone and posted some costume pics on Tumblr about it. While I was grateful to have the outlet of Tumblr at the time and you all sent me encouraging messages of support.. I also vowed to myself that next year would be different. I promised myself that I would have a group of friends that knew only the real me to celebrate this special day with me. This year that happened. It did take effort on my part. I had to be intentional about being more social. If you followed me for a long time, you know that I started going to meetup groups. I went to a Dungeons and Dragons meetup first and there I made two amazing new friends who I visit with weekly now. I also joined a women’s group on meetup. This meetup in particular is just incredible. They accepted me into their fold and I have made several friendships through that group. The events are always a blast even though some of them take me out of my “comfort” zone :)

I am so grateful to be in the position I am in now, where I have new friends that just know Ari and accept her and like her for who she is. I am actually crying a little while writing this because I remember how I felt last year and how worried I was that I would be feeling alone for a very, very long time. Sure I have family members that still love me but they struggle greatly to accept me for who I am.

But.. on to the pics of the celebration! This is a happy occasion!

My friends are amazing when it comes to costumes. I was at first planning on going as Counselor Troi from Star Trek TNG. However, there is a serious lack of costumes out there for her. There is an off-color short dress that really does not come close to matching her outfits. There is the standard TNG uniforms but I did not want to look androgynous in any way for this outing ;)

So, I went with a Dr. Carol Marcus costume that I found online. I also got a blond wig, but ultimately I decided not to use the wig. I was worried it would be too hot as this was going to be a bar crawl and long night. Also, the wig framed my face poorly and reminded me of the time when I was desperately trying to grow my hair out. I was able to snap a few cute pictures with the wig, but trust me it only looked cute in those pics as that camera angle worked the best for the look. Pics from the side view and such made me look like I was wearing a child’s wig. I decided I could just be a Science Crew Member from the reboot universe :) Science Officer Ari reporting for duty, Sir!

Also, after shopping at several stores with my daughter I found some futuristic looking earrings at Charming Charlie that I thought were perfect. You can see those in one of the pics.

Anyway, here are photos both with the wig and without, followed by pictures from one of the most fun nights I have had in recent memory :)

I could not find a “phaser” so I bought a mini, but very loud toy laser gun from World Market..

My purse almost looks like that side bag that Dr. McCoy used to carry, doesn’t it??

Lens flare pic! :) lol

One last note about this night, I had some real fear leading up to it. As a transgender woman, despite my best efforts, I still fear being called out by someone in public. In particular I still have that uneasy feeling when I need to use the restroom. Being Halloween, with many non-transgender men dressing as women.. it amplified this fear. Once again all of my fears were unwarranted. In fact, as I was about to leave the restroom at one of our many stops on our pub crawl, a random young woman said to me, “Hey are you..” she paused and I took in a breath.. “Star Trek??” Lol! Her wording was funny, but she was just trying to confirm that she “got” my costume. I said, “Yes!” She responded, “I LLLove it!” As you can imagine that was great for me to hear ;) I simply smiled and told her thank you because I honestly was not sure what her costume was supposed to be so I said nothing about it! 

I hope you all have an amazing Halloween. If you are in a place where you wish you could make some new friends please make a direct effort to do so. You will find them!


My goal in sharing my transition is to represent transgender people in the positive light that we all deserve. Re-blogs are always okay if they are for this purpose, but if you are a fetish blog or fetish website then I want nothing to do with you and you do not have my permission to use my images.

Things I learned during my first year of medical school

I cannot believe I’ve finished my first year of medical school already! Wow! 

Warning: long Parks and Rec gif-filled post ahead (90% of these are cheesy but I am pizza levels of cheesy when I’m reflecting):

Originally posted by gifsboom

1. Do your thing

The first semester of med school was a weird time of looking and seeing what other people were doing to study and wondering if I needed to do that too. 

I wondered, should I get a bunch of colored highlighters? Make a million flashcards? Am I behind because I haven’t studied that lecture yet? Should I stream instead of go to class because that’s what other people are doing?

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

My advice? Try new things out but once you figure out what works for you, don’t be afraid to stick to it. Some people found out that they study best in groups. I found out I study best by myself. I don’t like highlighting but I do like writing down things I need to know in a spiral so I can review/remember them better. I also like doing as many practice questions as I can get my hands on. I like going to class and taking notes on my computer. 

I didn’t know any of that until I got here. And that’s okay. But don’t stress about what other people are doing - you’ll find what works for you. 

2. Don’t try to study 24/7 

Seriously. Don’t. It’s not worth it. You’ll burn out and realize you could have been more relaxed and focused if you took a break. I try to take a couple minutes of break every hour and a bigger break every few hours whenever I’m studying. I also try to take at least one day off per weekend and do something fun (even if it’s small). I also know I study best during the day so I usually take the evenings off as well unless it’s like crunch time. 

Originally posted by rachgrub

3. Investing in dress clothes is a good idea

Inevitably, you’ll forget that you have yet another clinical skills class that requires white coat attire (aka business casual) and only remember last minute, without time to do laundry. It’s way less stressful if you have a few possible outfits. Even easier? If you wear dresses, get some nice professional dresses. Nothing better than only picking a single thing out of your closet to wear! Also, along with that, make sure you have dress shoes that fit and are comfortable. I learned that I need to break in new flats sometimes before I wear them or I will get really bad blisters. 

Originally posted by impeterperez

4. Laughter is the best medicine

As cliche as it sounds, I could not have gotten through this year without laughing. Laughing with new friends, laughing at ridiculous situations, laughing at silly gifs posted in our med school’s FB group specifically created for that purpose (it’s the best, highly recommend. Our class has 3 facebook groups - one for class announcements/club things, one for study materials, and one for laughing. The silly one was started by an MS2 (now MS3 I suppose!)). Laughing is seriously therapeutic for stress. Also some of my classmates just happen to be hysterically funny. Also A+ to tumblr for keeping me giggling. Also, Broad City (put it on your list of shows to watch!) 

Originally posted by iamjustbeth

5. The days are long but the weeks/months are short

I still cannot believe it is May and I’m already done. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to reflect on my experiences on my tumblr so I can remember them (because sometimes it feels like my memories are getting squeezed out to make room for new knowledge). Journaling here allowed me to process this year in a way that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I would highly recommend it to anyone about to start school (of any kind!). 

Originally posted by transitionneededplease

6. Make new friends but keep the old

Yes, I am quoting a Girl Scouts song. Because it’s true. I am so very thankful for the technology that has allowed me to (try to) keep up with my college friends. Life is busy for all of us but it’s always nice to chat with old friends (and hang out, location permitting!) Also my med school class is filled with the most amazing people and it’s been so fun getting to know them :) I love my girls so much, they truly are my ride or dies. Med school is quite a bonding experience.

Originally posted by leslieandannforever

7. You’ll do things you never imagined you could

For me, that was anatomy and clinical skills. I was a bit nervous about dissecting and the whole experience but I was pleasantly surprised. It was not as weird as I thought it would be. In clinical skills, I was terrifyingly nervous about standardized patients and being filmed and getting feedback and learning how to do all the exams. We all got through it and now I feel much more comfortable. There are still hard days (like a couple of weeks ago) but I am not as nervous. I also learned how to do the male GU exam and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. 

Originally posted by island-delver-go

 I also can’t believe that I went from knowing nothing to taking a history and doing a physical on a real patient all by myself AND presenting them to my preceptor. I still have a ton to learn and say stupid stuff sometimes but it feels like I’m on the right track. 

Originally posted by welcometoyouredoom

8. While sometimes first year feels like this:

Originally posted by iheart3j5

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Originally posted by adultum

Originally posted by superkevinthellama

Originally posted by superkevinthellama

You’ll have moments where you feel like

Originally posted by madpupper

And one last bonus lesson:

Originally posted by penguins-ruletheworld

Can that be the medblr motto? Also shoutout to medblr for being such an amazing and supportive community. Could not have gotten through this year without y’all!!!! 

Congratulations to all the other first years who are finishing up school or already done :) And welcome medblr class of 2020!!! So excited for y’all.