i hope you are happy right now ;_;

What sweet catastrophe, caring too much. I don’t know what went wrong or what changed but nothing and everything is running through my mind right now. I think of all the things that I love about you and I think about how I can’t find any for myself. Has this relationship destroyed me? I’ve focused on your happiness too much that I forgot about mine. And as I remember your smile, my heart aches for it is tired. Tired of hoping. Tired of wanting this to work. Tired of wanting to see your smile
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #592

anonymous asked:

It's sad that Dan was probably made fun of for being gay in school just because he was a happy kid. I can see why he would get so defensive and avoidant over hearing the word if it always had been used as an insult. I hope Dan learns that gay isn't an insult and that we would still all love him if he was gay or bisexual.

I think he did, don’t you? A while ago I couldn’t say so, but right now his stance seems very clear. He seems very very chill about himself and his gender performace and I’m filled with joy cause he’s happy and confident on himself, whatever his sexuality is, and on his own gender identity without trying to put himself into a box. He clearly doesn’t care much anymore about what people think anymore (can you imagine him posting something like that years ago? He KNOWS people will overanalyze and assume things about him because of it!) and I think that’s self-acceptance and another sign that our boy is grown up now and not so scared to be himself anymore.

But I understand what you’re saying about past Dan: some of his “jokes”, comments and stuff definitely came from a place of resentment. I guess seeing how free he was as a child to express himself the way he wanted to just cemented why mean children would make fun of him, bully him and call him gay all the time and he’d see it as an insult at the time. And it probably made him insecure too.

I’m really happy for him atm and that’s all I can say. <3 Smol squish being all flamboyant was quite adorable and I’m really glad he’s brave enough to share it now

anonymous asked:

something angsty but with a happy ending for the trash trio please!

angst is not my strong suit, but i tried my best and i hope you like it!!

【KUROO】 You’re gonna do it. You’re going to tell him. You’re going to tell him just what you like about him, ask him out on a date, and move on with your life. 

Easier said than done. Right now you’re looking at your legs, more specifically the phone in your lap for the umpteenth time, counting down the minutes you have before your stomach turns to water and your secret is out.
It’s 4 minutes.

You glance back at the worksheet that you’ve barely scrawled more than 3 answers on during the entire period. It’s the last period of the day, Japanese literature. You read over the same question multiple times before jotting down an answer in what looks like the sloppiest kanji you’ve ever written since your Kindergarten days.

Your thoughts are skittish in your mind, unable to be collected as they run wild, high on adrenaline and anxiety. It’s been a little over 2 weeks since you’ve come to the conclusion that you do in fact like Kuroo. You don’t know why exactly, maybe it’s the confidence he radiates, he always seems so dead set on his decision. Or it’s how he conducts himself, easy going yet honest. Either way it’s time you’ve come clean, be honest with yourself and Kuroo.

You click your phone on again, it’s 3:10, you have mere seconds before the bell rings, before Kuroo waits for you outside of his club room, before you tell him how often you think about him, how fast he makes your heart beat, and how much you want to be called his.

In a series of frantic motions, you pack up your belongings and as the bell chimes you swiftly head out the door. His class is right next to yours, why not walk with him? Give yourself some mental preparation beforehand.

You do just that, stopping at the entrance of his classroom and not wasting a moment to peek inside. It’s in that moment you wish you didn’t, you’d much rather stew in blissful unawareness than face this stinging truth.

He’s still at his desk, all of his things are still unpacked, and another girl is right in front of him, running one long, colorful acrylic nail over the knuckles of his right hand.

She has her glossy lips in a set pout, but her eyes are gleaming with playfulness. The sound that comes out of those perfectly pink, perfectly glossed lips drops a thousand pound weight on your stomach.

“Testu-kun! you’re such a tease!” She laughs, flicking a curled piece of hair over her shoulder.

In a moment’s panic you convince yourself that they’re friends, partners for the upcoming project he was complaining to you about one afternoon, that she’s really a nice, beautiful girl who has no romantic interest in him whatsoever. You try to devoid yourself of the possibility that he could like someone else.

You slide through the door frame, letting the teacher pass you by as you make your way over to the pair in question.

It feels like a long walk off a short pier into a lake of fire and heartache.

Please, you beg whatever deity that may be listening, be it Allah, Vishnu, or Jesus Christ himself to please please let them just be friends.

Her eyes meet yours when she hears the soft pad of your indoor shoes. They’re a bright hazelnut, framed by a plumage of thick dark lashes.

You hold this gaze, hoping to scrutinize in that moment what kind of exchange she is having with Kuroo, but it’s 3 seconds too long and you shift your gaze to the latter mentioned, watching him pack up his things. And then his smoldering golden gaze meets yours, his is so much more familiar, so much more friendly and welcoming and it’s starting a symphony in your heart so endearing Beethoven would be envious

“Anyways,” he speaks, but he doesn’t break his gaze with you. “just ask Sensei and he’ll go over the equation with you.”

He drags his eyes away from you to smile at the girl looming over him, she smiles, bidding him a sweet goodbye as she passes you and leaves.

The air becomes thick around you, ash settling in your lungs and magma rising in your throat making it a little more than difficult to speak.

He stands up, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he makes his way in front of you. He stands a little close, but you’re not complaining.

He feels the air around you, and reaches out to wrap his skinny fingers around your wrist momentarily to tug.

“I do hope you’re not jealous of her, that’s a real mood killer.” He smiles, it’s small but genuine.

Does he…..know?

Quickly you think of something, anything, to say.

And what you finally do say is plucked only from your most refined vocabulary, used only in the most important formal matters such as college entrance letters, letters to the royal family, to the Prime Minister of Japan.


“I said I hope you’re not jealous of her, because I am sure that would dampen the mood you were going to set when you confess your undying love for me.”

He let’s go of your wrist, and punctuates his last words with a small tap of his index finger on the tip if your nose. Your eyes widen, your lips part and you resemble a fish.

He leans in, and it’s then you can hear the beating of your heart in your ears.

He presses a kiss to your cheek and whispers only the most romantic of sweet nothing’s in your awaiting ear.

“You’re so easy to read.”

You’ve had it with his remarks. Lately, all he does is nit pick at your flaws and insecurities.

On Wednesday, over lunch, he teased you about how you ate.

“Well of course I’m not going to be practicing perfect manners around my boyfriend.” You huff in a matter of factly tone, huffing in exasperation.

“Well could you be less of a slob? I’m trying to eat too here too.”  He commented, fingers folded over his chopsticks as he plucks a clump of rice from his bento.

You look over to Yamaguchi, all he does is give you a small, unsure shrug of his skinny shoulders. you let out a small sigh and continue your meal in silence.

On Thursday, it was a meticulous scrutinization of how you assembled yourself in the mornings.  "You’re bow is uneven, and one sock is a different shade of black than the other.“ Tsukishima said, voice unmerciful in the crowded Getabako.

You stuffed your shoes into your storage space and huff as you sit down to strap on your indoor shoes. “Do you have to humiliate me right here?” You pressed, voice lacing with irritation.

It was bad enough that he insulted you yesterday in front of Yamaguchi, but now Yamaguchi and the bustling students next to you? Unbelievable.

“No I don’t have to, but I can.” the blonde sneered back.

From your understanding, a few midterm exams were coming up in the advanced class, but Tsukishima has always handled school in stride.

Was it something with his club? Or was it a combination of the two?
Either way that was the last straw.

You lock eyes with his oil slick pupils. There’s a ring of fire around them, burning in an intensity that suggests he’s ready for any quips you might throw his way.

Your attack is not a verbal one, that’s assured by the reverberating smack that echoes off the metal lockers.

Your palm connects with his cheek, your movements are almost mechanical as you look down, grab your bag and hurry off into the first year hall way into a storm of black uniforms and navy skirts.

The force of your smack knocks Tsukishima’s glasses off of his face, they hit the metal lockers and land on the cold ground with threatening clinks.

He leans down and picks them up, wiping them off with the corner of his uniform and putting them back in their original place. “Tsu- Tsukki, are you—?” Yamaguchi a hand reaches out and his fingers press into the crisp cloth adorning Tsukishima’s shoulder.

The blonde gently pushes the hand off and rolls his eyes with a sigh. “I’m fine. I’ll meet you in class.” Quickly, Tsukishima follows your route, his height serving as an advantage to pluck you out of a sea of heads, rushing down a corridor that leads to a side exit.

He quickens his gait, and soon enough he’s outside where you are, slumped against a wall with your face buried in your hands.

He walks over, grass giving way under each of his footfalls with a soft crackling sound. Gently he presses his side against yours as he sits down next to you.

“Go away.”

“This is public grounds.”

A sigh escapes your mouth as you remove your hands and bring your knees to your chest, looking away. The next few moments that pass by are thick, and then thinned out by Tsukishima’s words.

“I guess I kind of deserved that.” He says, lightly skimming his fingertips over the hand shaped, pinkening flesh. This piques your interest as you quirk an eyebrow and look at him.

“Kind of guess?” You press, slightly scooting away. “Alright I did deserve it. Do you want me to apologize too?” There’s a hint of sarcasm in his voice, like its a huge hassle for him to speak two words that could fix this quickly.

“If you do I’ll forgive you.” He rolls his eyes at your reply and momentarily swallows his pride. “I’m sorry.” Before you can speak, he slides an arm around your shoulders and kisses the top of your head, almost too quickly, your hair is tickling his nose.

“Sorry for slapping you,” you respond, leaning in to press a kiss to his unscathed cheek. Your a moment too slow as he turns to meet your lips. It’s a noisy peck, quite cheeky of him.

He smiles when you blush and look away. He knows it’s alright. 

Your arms are wrapped around his chest and your face is buried in the juncture of his neck and shoulder. One of his hands is stroking your back slowly, the other is petting your hair.

Silent tears roll down his cheeks, while on his neck you wail away. Today he’s told you what he’s wanted to for weeks, but he can’t bring himself to do it. It’s painful, it feels too large to be fixed immediately like he wants too.

You’re going to different universities, pursuing different careers with different requirements.

He wants to spend his days with you like he does now, watch you fiddle with your hair when you’re disinterested in the lesson and pick from your bento when you’re not looking.

“Do you want to break up?” Your question is the crack in the thick glacier of his thoughts.  

He feels a lump rise in his throat as he thinks the question over thoroughly. “Do you want to?” He asks, his hands falling slack at your sides. 

He hopes you’re reply is no. 

You shake your head, and squeeze just a little tighter around his frame as if he’s going to melt away into the air. He kisses the top of your head and resumes stroking your hair. “I can’t leave you.”

You emit a whine that gets lost in the fabric of his hoodie as he squeezes you back, and sets a gentle rocking motion for the both of you. “What are we going to do?” You ask moving your head to look at him.

He sighs. “We’ll make it work.”

“But how—”

“I said we’ll make it work. We can get an apartment close to one of our universities, one of us will just have to settle for bus rides. Or if that isn’t fair we can get an apartment somewhere. I just,” he pauses, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence. Oikawa swallows, and inhales deeply before speaking again. “I can’t leave you. This is a stupid idea because I’m putting yours and my futures at stake, settling it on something that may not be sturdy. But I’m willing to take that chance. Are you?”

The look Oikawa gives you is so perpetually raw, the dark rings of cocoa that make up his iris’ speak of a promise unspoken, yet, forged in fire.

Ultimately your answer decides your fate. If you agree, it’s a hard road ahead, if he’s busy now surely he’ll be bustling even more so. But at the end of the day you’ll still be able to see him, feel his heart beat between the rivets of his ribs, and whispers of adoration for you flow past his lips.

If you say no, it’s an easier but lonelier road, it’s less stressful not worrying or waiting over him, you don’t have to give any one your time. But is the heartbreak really worth it? To cut open raw feelings and scorch them with flames of wondering, sadness and regret is almost unbearable to even think about.

Ultimately This decision is a question of now and later. So, which one will you take?
I am.” You finally say your answer on a thin breath, unsure of what exactly lies ahead.
The kiss he gives you is raw, brimstone and the crackle of a warm fire. It’s comforting, quelling your worries clawing at your stomach.

Hi. In this past day I have done a lot of thinking about my life and what I want in my future. I always knew that Economic is not something that enjoy, but now that it’s really showing it in my studying, because I can’t seems to find motivation at all.
I feel really happy and good at the moment, but I feel like I’m not at the right direction for me. So now I have no idea what I should do. I was thinking maybe about to take a year off college, but I have never done something like that and I’m not sure about it. I really hope I will find what I enjoy doing and do that.
Whoever read that thank you.☆
If you have any advice for me just let me know. I would really appreciate it.💖

anonymous asked:

My sister is in a really bad place with her mind right now. Shes gone to stay with our family. She asked us to delete all of her accounts and contacts and to block the numbers. She asked me to keep an eye on you because she was very worried about you when she left. You mean a lot to her. She wanted to apologize for not being there for you. She wants you to try your hardest because she knows youre stronger than you think. Thank you for making her happy. Were all hoping she can get well soon.

I am so happy right now because I was so worried that she may have hurt herself. Thank you so much for telling me that, I will try as hard as I can knowing that she is ok. I really hope she gets well soon, she is too kind and amazing to deserve feeling however she is right now. Thank you so much for telling me. If you don’t mind, could you tell me if she starts to feel better? It would make me very happy to know when she is feeling better.

Am i the only one who thinks that phil is like less happy now…. Like i dont know i may be COMPLEETLY wrong but doesnt it seem like sometimes durring like comicon and collabs with other youtubers or something he seems to have to push to get into the conversation like because hes sutch a sweet person that maybe theyre not taking him seriously, and he just doesnt laugh as much as he use to. Maybe its because dans laughing more so i dont notice it as much but i feel like phil maybe isnt as happy like somethings up. When they were makeing tabinof he was really tired and i started noticing this but people were just saying that he was just really tired and its still going on. I know alot of things are happening right now but if this is whats going on, or something like this is going on, phil i hope you phil better ;) *incerts more puns to make him feel better*

Winter Themed Sentence Starters
  • "Hey -- put that snowball down!"
  • "Come make snow angels with me!"
  • "I sooooooooo want hot cocoa right now."
  • "But I don't wanna go outside! It's too cold."
  • "You know you've been outside too long when your snot becomes frozen."
  • "Snowball fight?"
  • "Sledding is an art. Only masters like myself know how to do it properly."
  • "How can you eat ice cream right now!? It's below twenty degrees outside!"
  • "So they shut down all the trains and buses..."
  • "I so hope that this snow is enough for a snow day."
  • "How about we both skip work and cuddle all day? We can blame it on the snow."
  • "I made a snow dick. Look -- it's happy to see you."
  • "UGH. How long is it going to snow for?"
  • "I can't hold hands with you. Too cold."
  • "You've got so many snowflakes in your hair. It's kind of cute."
  • "I hate the snow."
  • "Let's go ice skating!"
  • "Your hat is falling off!"
  • "I'm pretty sure the lake's frozen enough. We won't fall in."
  • "I can't even see a foot in front of me!"
  • "You know what I've always wanted to try? Building an igloo."
  • "The snow can go fuck itself."
  • "I feel like a penguin with all of these layers. A very fat penguin."
  • "I just need the heat on, a bunch of blankets, and a good movie. I can watch the snow from inside."
  • "I am NOT going outside in this cold!"

“We’re intoxicatingly destructive. I hope you find happiness. Maybe we’re too damaged right now but I hope one day we can be stable and meet sometime and be wonderful. I know I’m a psychotic bitch. I hope you really do get to be happy.

Talk to me when you’re ready. I wish you the best. Please be happy. I love you. Goodbye ”

I sent him these as a goodbye to finally accept its over and I can move on. He only wanted me when he was alone anyway. This proved it when he didn’t respond.

  • Honestly watching Hope Solo yesterday had to be the most captivating part of the game. She did not have to do much but when she did it was honestly amazing and you can see why she's the best goalie right now. Everything she does is so calculated but she still has fun with it as well. My heart melted a little when Kelley stuck her arm out towards Hope and she smiled back and did the same. She loves her backline and makes sure they know she appreciates them. I am happy I got to see her up close like that






*Requested* Imagine the human reader takes the stake for Kol and he heals her and helps her get better. Then kills Jeremy and Elena

( Since I already wrote something similar and don´t want to write the same things over and over I just wrote an quite dark alternative ending to this one: Imagine Jeremy and Elena kidnap reader and using her as bait…I copied the part so you´ll can read it right away. I hope you enjoy, even though this is not my best work. Now happy reading my lovelies.)

Warnings: Character Deaths, Violence and a murderous Kol

Word count: 1.320

Your name: submit What is this?

[You are surrounded by muffled sound and voices, not knowing where you are or who you hear.You slowly gain consciousness looking around the room and seeing a person slowly walking over to you. You recognize your surrounding as Elena’s living room, letting you wonder how you got here.

Jeremy: “Elena Y/N´s awake.”

You try to speak but you quickly realize that your mouth is covered with duct tape and your hands and feet are tied to a chair.

Elena: “I´m sorry Y/N, but I can´t let you ruin our plan.“

She then steals your phone dialing Kol´s number and putting it on speaker.

Elena: “Let´s lure him over. You´ll be a great motivation Y/N.”

Kol: “Y/N. Are you alright? Where are you?”

Elena: “Actually it´s Elena. Y/N is alright, for now at least. But I think you should hurry over to my place to insure it stays that way:”

Kol: “If you hurt Y/N in any way, I´ll be your worst nightmare.”

She hangs up on him, right before Jeremy walks back into the living room. A loud crash makes you jump and you presume Kol just kicked the front door in.

Kol: “You better invite me in or things will get ugly.”

Elena: “If I invite you in my brother goes. And you have to promise not to hurt me or I´ll kill Y/N right know.”

Kol: “Fair enough.”

Jeremy: “Come in.”

Jeremy quickly turns around and leaves through the backdoor.

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ellen is such an inspiration to me. she inspires me to be comfortable with who i am, to be happy and to be a better person. she struggled a lot, she was abused, throw out of her her father’s house, her girlfriend died when she was 21 and people were so mean to her when she came out and yet she has become this amazing person who has so much love to give and is making people happy and helping people. she found the love of her life who is also an amazing person who struggled with ED and being gay. and she found a job that she loves. this inspires me to keep living and hoping that i’ll find a job that i love and the love of my life and live happily and this is why i’m not giving up and i’ll get out of this dark place i’m in. i hope she’s an inspiration to all of you who feel sad and are in a bad place right now. just keep swimming x 

inyourarmsifeelsafe asked:

Hi Sav! I was just wondering.. what do you do when you feel small and horrible and alone? Are there tiny things you do to make yourself happy again? Like taking a bath or something. Anyways, hope you're doing well right now ♡

i clean my room because for some reason the cleanliness of my room has a direct relationship with my mental state and i take a shower with all my nice lush shit and put lotion on everything and put on my pajamas and get in bed and just like. write all day. or watch a lil movie. or break out my speakers and play some tunes. idk. just anything to make me feel cozy x

look at this @toatupac

isnt this just great, me having to link each individual piece of stolen art because instagrams report system is trash?

i hope youre happy knowing your “favorite artist” hates you more than anyone else in this community right now.

anonymous asked:

This is probably the most fucked up and sickening play that anyone could ever do. They are literally faking a baby and making fans live through the hell that has been the past 3 days. Put aside h&l, theyre also dragging innocent people into this by using fake pictures of women AND babies (what the FUCK), done by the jungles themselves. its literally not unacceptable?? there's a line that you don't cross. dont drag 1 month old babies and happy pregnant families into this mess.

They crossed so many lines, I am actually very uncomfortable right now and I hope Louis is ok. Because God knows I would’ve left if it weren’t for him.


*Requested* Imagine Kai having weird feelings he doesn’t understand around you, his best friend, and having to go to your brothers, Stefan and Damon, to learn what it means (that he’s fallen in love with you).

( Wow there´s a lot of dialogue in this one, but that´s good right? :D I do hope you enjoy this one and I would love to know what you think. Now happy reading my lovelies!)

Word count: 1050

Your name: submit What is this?

It´s a lovely and warm day in Mystic Falls as Kai strolls along the driveway of the Boarding house, humming the theme song of his beloved TV series Baywatch. He stops at the door and uses the doorknocker to let the Salvatore´s know he´s here. The door opens a few seconds later, revealing an surprised yet annoyed Damon.

Damon: “Oh no.”

He rolls his eyes and closes the door but Kai stops it casually with the classic foot in the door.

Damon: “What do you want? Y/N is not here.”

Kai: “I know. I’m not here for Y/N.”

Suddenly Stefan appears and looks over Damon’s shoulder equally annoyed.

Stefan: “What the hell does he want?”

Damon: “I have no idea.”

Kai: “If you two would let me in I could explain.”

Damon looks over to Stefan who just shrugs before he hesitantly opens the door to let Kai in, who casually walks into the living room. He throws himself on the couch, resting his feet on the expensive table before him.

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