i hope this parallel makes sense to people other than me

Ok but can we talk about how the Paladin’s bayards don’t just suit them, but actually ARE them? THE BAYARD PICKS THE PALADIN, MR. POTTER.

The bayards are frankly the coolest metaphorical device happening in this show and I haven’t seen anyone talk about it yet (I’m sure someone has, but I feel like it’s not really… a thing??), and if my major has taught me any(useless)thing it’s to get stuck on functional motifs in storytelling so

Keith

I mean this is just fun. You’re probably not surprised that he gets the big blade because he’s main-character-red and the emo/possibly-Asian-one, but let’s consider a few things: 

The fact that it’s sharp on both sides acts as a physical reminder of the duality happening within his character (he cuts others down, but internally he’s cutting himself down just as much: a double-edged sword). 

Furthermore, that double edge reminds us that it’s a loner’s weapon: he needs to be able to attack with each swing, in any direction, because no one’s coming to back him up. It may be space, but dude is clearly rockin’ the lone wolf/samurai vibe. The length backs that up a bit as well–it keeps everyone he sees as an ‘enemy’ or a ‘rival’ at a distance (//side-eye @ lance). 

What’s even more interesting is that if you look at Keith’s relationship with his bayard compared to his Marmora blade, they represent his hidden and public selves: who people see him as/expect him to be vs. who he truly is and wants to be (is afraid to be) himself. 

Most people only see his bayard, a classic warrior/knight weapon that represents strength and grace and leadership. Keith brings this out in battle, in front of his friends, before enemies, etc. But when he’s alone at night or when he’s holed up in the desert, the blade on his mind and in his hand is his Marmora dagger. Despite being a secret for so long, it is actually this blade (and not the bayard he got from Voltron) which Keith always keeps close to him (and which he keeps strictly concealed). 

He covers up the mark on the hilt as if to cover his own hidden thoughts and feelings (and maybe even dubious past). In public, he feels he can proudly show his bayard but doesn’t want anyone to know he has the dagger, even before he himself knows what it might mean. 

Even more interestingly, this blade also represents close combat–letting people get close to you–and the desire to protect others, showing that these are things Keith thinks about, feels, and even wants, but is afraid to show to those around him. What’s more, while the obvious skills and general cool-dude-ness associated with the bayard are something Keith has earned/achieved by his own merit, the Marmora dagger (and all the things it represents) were something he was born with; something inherently part of him. Ironically, once Keith learns more about his dagger and what it represents, it becomes longer–it adds distance, just as the truth about his past puts distance between him and the other paladins.

Like, I could literally (gladly) write an entire essay just on the symbolism of how Keith treats these blades, but you get the idea. 

I was gonna do Shiro next but his is even sadder than Keith’s so let’s do

Pidge

So some things about this are obvious: it bears a (kind of adorable similarity) in shape to her head. It’s small, she’s small, but if you underestimate either of them you will be sorry. It’s an incredibly quick/nimble weapon (a great parallel for her stinging wit). Her bayard is designed for quick, surgically precise movements, which is exactly how Pidge works (both mentally and metaphorically).

However, while it has great attack capabilities, that’s clearly not the bayard’s (or Pidge’s) main purpose; it’s a necessary consequence in the pursuit of other goals. Rather, the transformative and flexible uses of Pidge’s bayard emphasize the desire to be useful and to solve problems over attacking. This is belied by the fact that Pidge forms Voltron’s shield. Pidge would much rather think her way out of/around a problem than charge in head-first

Her bayard is a reflection of that. Pidge’s bayard is also the most technically complicated, which is another great parallel for her mind. Furthermore, the grappling hook function of her bayard echoes her desire to find things out of reach, and cast out into space and bring those things close to her, or herself to them (*cough*MATT*cough*). 

TL;DR: it’s an all-purpose, unassuming weapon meant to perform multiple tasks in an efficient, creative way, and it focuses on problem solving/extraction more than brute attack (though it packs plenty of punch when cornered). And, of course, though she be but little, she is fierce.

Lance

As his swagger (and even his name, like talk about being on the nose) suggests, Lance is totally in-your-face, up-in-your-business blabbermouth who seems pretty simple to understand. So why does he have the weapon that arguably requires the most finesse, patience, and also has a long range? Because that’s what Lance is really like under all that talk. It may seem like Lance lives with the words “are we there yet” on his tongue, but consider this: Lance wanted to be a pilot, but was originally relegated to commercial-class ranks. Did that stop him? Nope. He kept at it until he made it to the top of those ranks (it’s safe to assume that if they only promoted one pilot to fighter-class after Keith’s expulsion, it would be the top of the commercial-class students). That’s more patience than any of the other paladins have shown.

As a gun in a team that has close-combat weapons, Lance’s bayard automatically assumes a supportive role (despite all his talk about beating Keith and being the best), and we see this multiple times throughout the show. His first day as a fighter-class pilot, what does Lance do? Talks to his team and says they should stick together. How does he find out about Shiro? He’s following Pidge and asking about what she’s up to–crazy theories that others wouldn’t care to hear out. There are a lot of other examples of this (notably, when he throws himself in front of Coran), but from the get-go we’re slyly shown that Lance actually cares about and pays attention to those around him (even though he keeps talking about kicking their butts and being #1). It makes sense, then, that his weapon would be one designed to support and provide cover for others. In fact, we see Lance doing exactly this in the first episode when Pidge mouths off and he rushes in to cover for her.

Sadly, as one of the longer-range weapons, Lance’s bayard is also one of the loneliest metaphors in the group, and we see the reason for this just as much in VLD: Lance doesn’t feel appreciated (or sometimes even accepted) by the people around him. He often feels distant, though not by choice. He may shoot (ha) his mouth off a lot, but at the end of the day it’s pretty apparent that this boy craves love and attention, almost as much as he wants to be perceived as a ‘top gun’ (double ha) within the group.

A gun–especially the rapid-fire type that Lance has–further mirrors his tendency to be impulsive (and even impetuous) rather than controlled and thoughtful. On the bright side, though, it is exactly that willingness to pull the trigger that has catapulted the gang forward on a number of occasions.

Shiro

Between Shiro’s arm and his bayard there are so many different things going on here I don’t even know how I can touch on all of them. If I could write an essay on Keith’s weapons, I could write a BOOK on Shiro’s.

First, let’s talk about Shiro’s actual bayard. In Zarkon’s hands, you can read this as a physical extension of Shiro’s freedom, or even as Shiro himself: Zarkon took the bayard–something meant to be used for good–from another world, and then warped it in the hopes of using it to cause destruction. 

The good news is that both Shiro and the bayard escape Zarkon’s clutches because of Voltron, and though Zarkon intended to use them, they instead become the strongest weapons to fight against him. They will always feel the effects of Zarkon’s influence and ownership–the bayard because of Zarkon’s former paladin connections, and Shiro because of his arm and PTSD–but they still fight. In the end, it is Zarkon’s obsession with them as his former ‘possessions’ that becomes his downfall. So deep is his trauma that Shiro actually waits until it looks like they’re about to die (when Voltron is in an electric headlock) to activate his bayard. Why? Because he doesn’t trust his arm, he doesn’t trust his hold on the bayard or the lion (don’t even get me STARTED on how the lion–down it’s right-hand weapon and still somewhat under Zarkon’s control–represents Shiro himself), and as a result he doesn’t trust himself to be stronger than Zarkon. 

Even when Shiro finally gets the bayard back, he doesn’t call it his bayard, or the black bayard; he calls it Zarkon’s bayard (and it looks the part). This can be seen as a mirror for how Shiro sees himself: even though it’s a bayard, Zarkon tainted it, and now it doesn’t belong to him even though it’s rightfully his and he has it in his hands (which, ironically, is still technically Zarkon’s hand… you get the picture).

However, as Keith corrects him (”you’ve got your bayard”), the bayard rejects the changes Zarkon forced upon it, and reverts to a form that matches Shiro and the other paladins (likely how it looked before Zarkon started using it for evil). Just as the paladins healed Shiro by rescuing him and making him part of Voltron, Shiro does the same for the black bayard. Indeed, he only pulls out the power necessary to retrieve the black bayard once he wakes up to find the team fighting to protect him. It might be telling symbolically that Shiro leaves his bayard behind when he goes missing at the end of the season–perhaps he’s won his freedom only to have it taken once again.

 Which leads me to… 

The black bayard could also represent Shiro’s memories: both are known to exist, and we get hints/flashes/teases throughout the show, but both are initially “lost”. Slowly, it is revealed just how both Shiro’s bayard and his memories have been taken/corrupted by Zarkon. We see this in the way Shiro’s memories haunt him, only to frustratingly elude  him when he needs them. When Shiro finally tries to find out more about why Zarkon has the bayard, he’s also facing his own mind–his memories, his insecurities, and his apprehension at what fate awaits him–as well.  In this sense, when Shiro reclaims the black bayard, he is also reclaiming so much more: the hold/fear Zarkon held over him, the insufficiency and anxiety he felt because of it, etc. 

You can also read the bayard as a mirror for Shiro’s arm: Zarkon took Shiro’s arm and replaced it with something Galran. Shiro joins Voltron only to find that Zarkon also has his metaphorical right hand–his weapon. Shiro can’t use the weapon he should be holding (in a hand he doesn’t have because of Zarkon) because Zarkon took it. Talk about a vicious cycle. This symbolism is supported all through season 1 and parts of season 2 where we see Shiro simultaneously struggle with controlling Zarkon’s lasting effects on Voltron and coming to grips (ha) with controlling his arm. It’s hinted–both during battle and through PTSD–that if Shiro doesn’t control his arm, it will control him, just as Zarkon demonstrates that if Shiro can’t reclaim the bayard, Zarkon will use it to kill him (we see a similar parallel with his memories). 

I’m just going to stop here because the black bayard and Shiro’s arm can represent so many different things that it totally distracts me and I can only really do it justice by literally sitting down and writing out a full on dissertation on it.

But TL;DR: Shiro’s arm and his bayard are in a crazy, soap-opera drama with Zarkon on so many different levels and it is symbolistically incredible.

Hunk

Hunk’s bayard, much like Hunk, is pretty straight-forward and simple. Physically, it’s a big weapon. A big, hulking (Hunking????) weapon. It looks incredibly imposing, but its chief function isn’t destruction, but preventing destruction. Just as Hunk likes to avoid violence, his canon is mostly used to disable enemy weapons as part of Voltron, and individually Hunk uses it to provide long-range cover fire for his team (when he tries to use it in a more actively combative role, he just ends up almost shooting Pidge… gg, Hunk). 

Unlike Lance’s more nimble and quick-fire weapon, Hunk’s takes a lot of strength to move around and a long time to power up–this mirrors Hunk’s own well-rooted stance (he’s not easily swayed), and his cautious nature. He doesn’t do things off-the-cuff or on a whim; he thinks them through first. Indeed, it’s almost always Hunk warning the others of the possible outcomes of their proposed escapades. 

He’s also slow to anger, just as his weapon is slow to fire. However, once he has decided to take a shot, his firepower is incredible, just as when he does decide to take action (like with the Balmerans), his will is unstoppable. 

I could go on for days, guys. I have so much stuff I had to cut out because even the hardcorest Voltron fans don’t care about underlying motifs this much, I know, but AGH. GUYS. GUYS. THE BEAUTY??? OF THIS WRITING??? IN A KIDS’ SHOW????? 

Bless.

PS this is long I didn’t proof read it SO SUE ME

How Fusion relationships work

“How many Gems are you now?”
“Six! Maybe more … if we meet the right Gem.”

In the episode “Off Colors,” Fluorite makes it clear she’s a relationship of SIX Gems and is open to more. I was joking around trying to think of what her fusion dance would look like if she added another Gem to this relationship, thinking it would be kind of adorable seeing one smaller Gem dancing to fuse with this huge amalgam. But then I wondered about a few things and I collected enough Thinky Thoughts to ramble for a bit.

For a long time before “Super Watermelon Island,” we fans were curious about Alexandrite’s fusion dance. We knew Garnet, as a Fusion herself, prefers to form Fusions with others when she’s already in her Fusion state–as in, she certainly doesn’t split up first to dance with the others one on one when she wants to form Sugilite or Sardonyx. 

We figured hey, maybe it’s easier to synchronize two Gems rather than trying to synchronize three at the same time, and therefore maybe Alexandrite was formed with Pearl and Amethyst fusing into Opal first before dancing with Garnet. 

In “Super Watermelon Island,” we see that’s not so.

Which is not to say that Opal and Garnet COULDN’T decide to fuse that way, but they didn’t in this case. And we can see that if they’re prepared to do it, a three-way synchronization can work without previously synchronizing the components into Fusions.

Fusions can fuse with individuals. With TWO individuals. And individual Gems can of course make Fusions. So basically, it’s free-for-all mix-n-match however the Gems involved are comfortable doing it. 

And I got to wondering what that means for the Fusions themselves. Fusions are relationships. So theoretically, Fusions are the relationships of the component Gems with each other, even in more complicated Fusions like Alexandrite. But essentially, Alexandrite seems like she is the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl with Garnet, not so much the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl and Ruby and Sapphire. If they were to all four fuse in a single fusion dance, they would still make Alexandrite, but Pearl and Amethyst probably don’t HAVE much of a relationship with Ruby or with Sapphire individually. When Pearl first met Garnet in any meaningful way, she was already fused.

So when Pearl makes Sardonyx with Garnet, that relationship is by definition Ruby, Sapphire, and Pearl’s relationship, but practically speaking, it’s a relationship between Pearl and Garnet. Because her relationship with Ruby and Sapphire is nearly always in the context of them as their relationship. As Garnet.

That may seem like a weird point to press on, but stay with me here. 

Garnet probably doesn’t have much of a relationship with Opal as an individual. She has individual relationships with Pearl and with Amethyst, and together their group is Alexandrite. They’re a four-Gem Fusion, but personality-wise, Alexandrite represents Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst together far more than she represents Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl, and Amethyst together. When they start to fight internally, you certainly hear Garnet’s voice coming out, not the voices of Ruby or Sapphire. (And maybe, aside from the potential spoiler-related reasons, that’s why Alexandrite makes more sense with six arms instead of eight.)

Rebecca Sugar has repeatedly said in interviews that Fusions ARE relationships (though they also obviously have their own opinions that can be in contradiction with their components’ opinions, like Sugilite, and can “feel like one being” like Garnet said in “Keeping It Together”). And she’s also said Fusions are an interesting opportunity to explore who people are TOGETHER–the way humans can be together in a relationship and it changes who they are, how they think, how they function as a unit even though they can never be as much of a single entity as a Fusion is. This has me thinking about Fluorite.

She’s an established six-Gem relationship. I don’t know how they came to the conclusion that they wanted to live together, but Rhodonite’s question “how many Gems are you now?” suggests she’s been adding them steadily–that it wasn’t all at once. Very much like Amethyst and Pearl having a relationship with GARNET far more than with Ruby and/or Sapphire individually, I imagine that Fluorite’s additional Gems beyond the first ones–including potential future additions–would develop a relationship with the Fusion, not so much with her components. They may not even KNOW much about who they are individually because the relationship is that significant. That the relationship changes them so much.

I mean, you’ve probably met people who are in relationships and have been part of that unit since a very long time before you met them. They’ve grown into each other, become comfortable with each other, and developed a collective “we” identity that connects to their family, their living situation, their thresholds of intimacy, their interests–everything. You would have no way to know the individuals in that relationship how they would be if they didn’t have it–just like it’s hard to imagine who someone might be if they weren’t an artist, or weren’t a mother, or weren’t chronically ill, or weren’t the gender or sexuality they are. You can’t pluck one element out of them and then try to re-imagine them around the hole that leaves–not unless that element actually does disappear and they readjust their identity around it. I think our relationships can be like that too–that they affect our identity.

Humans’ relationships aren’t as literally transformative as a relationship that can literally become its own person, but our relationships essentially have lives of their own too. Garnet didn’t describe Fusion to Stevonnie as “an experience” for nothing. Most of us don’t “feel like one being” as part of a relationship, and there are some ways in which that can be unhealthy for us if we repress important parts of ourselves to become subsumed in something we wouldn’t like if we were fully conscious of what we were doing. But in general, it’s not a bad thing to have one’s relationship regarded as an important element of who they are. It’s certainly part of how the outside world thinks of them and treats them.

With someone like Fluorite, I think it would be super interesting to see how a single Gem has a relationship with an existing relationship and becomes a part of it. But even though I think Fluorite, and Garnet, and even in some ways Malachite, can be regarded and treated as individuals while fused–requiring those who have relationships with them to take them as a whole–you would also have to have at least some kind of relationship with that relationship’s members. You’d understand them as a package deal, but you might have different feelings about its members. Steven, for instance, loved Lapis and disliked Jasper, but understood Malachite as someone he needed to fight.

Now here’s the sad thing. Garnet states that she’ll “always exist in” Ruby and Sapphire, and that she embodies their love (even though they can still experience that love when they’re not fused, too). But I imagine that if Garnet were separated for a long time, Steven would miss her a lot. And I can imagine if one of Steven’s guardians decided to, say, form a new Fusion with Fluorite and stay that way, he would miss her too. You can’t have both the single Gem and the perma-Fusion in your life consistently.

Most of us have been there. “Losing” a person to a new relationship and nothing is ever the same with them again. They give themselves to the relationship, they go everywhere together, and you can’t invite one without them bringing the other(s). Sometimes, you probably miss that person and want them back. But when they’re part of the relationship, that’s part of who they are, and even when they’re not with their partner(s), they’re part of that relationship. Sometimes that can feel sad, especially if it means your special relationship with that person had to end, lessen, or significantly change. 

Fusion relationships are very different from ours in a few obvious ways, but they’re not so fundamentally different that we can’t draw the parallels. Sometimes you wish the Fusion wasn’t there because you think the relationship is bad for those involved, like Malachite. If you’re Steven, you want your Lapis back and you want Jasper out of both of your lives. You might try to advise Lapis, you might try to protect her from Jasper, but she’s the one who has to decide what her relationship is. You can only hope she sees reason, or you could lose her in more ways than one.

With loving relationships, like Garnet, you want them to be together. Not necessarily because you like Garnet better than you like Ruby and Sapphire–it’s fun to see them now and then, sure!

But you know they prefer to be together, and that they experience anxiety and pain when they’re apart, and that they’ve chosen a life together where some of their individuality is given up for that closeness. You respect their decision and have a relationship with their relationship.

For humans, our relationships do not literally combine the traits of multiple people into one person that then has its own conscious will. The individuals in the relationship still function, while “the relationship” has no physical manifestation despite its influence being felt in the components. But it still changes the “color” of their lives together and brings the people involved close together to serve many shared goals, just like a Fusion.

So when a hypothetical new Gem does come along and establish a relationship with Fluorite, I think she would dance with her. Not with her components individually, but with her. We know Garnet as Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship–not as Ruby and Sapphire combined, but as the result of that combination. For a fused Gem, the Fusion is the new identity who can now make decisions and have experiences, even though they ARE an experience at the same time. It isn’t the same as individuals deciding to do the same thing. They made the decision to become the thing that decides on its own. And that Fusion, in the reality of their life together, can sometimes decide that’s no longer what they want to be. Or they can realize they’d rather be this than anything they were supposed to be and that they’d rather do this than anything they were supposed to do.

If a Gem has a relationship with a relationship, it’ll always be with the relationship first. The new relationship will need to be understood as coming into a shared, existing intimacy. Pearl and Amethyst don’t individually get consent from Ruby and from Sapphire when Garnet acts on their behalf to form Alexandrite. Garnet feels and acts differently from Ruby and Sapphire sometimes, and their choice to fuse into her has influenced the subsequent decisions they make as her. 

They may or may not disagree with how Garnet acts sometimes–like, if you were to ask Sapphire or ask Ruby what they would have personally done when Garnet did something different, you might get some answers that are as different as Amethyst and Garnet’s answers would be from Sugilite’s. But within the context of the relationship, with the relationship actively existing, it has the power to influence how the individuals feel. They have a relationship, and then that relationship can feel and think in unprecedented ways–with some of them not being so good. Being in a relationship with an abusive person, for instance, can sometimes make the abused party accept treatment they wouldn’t outside the relationship, or might have thought they wouldn’t tolerate before the relationship was established. And sometimes it’s neutral, like what a married couple decides they want in a shared home is different from what kind of place each might buy individually.

But what’s important about this is that fusion of goals, opinions, and thoughts in human relationships isn’t necessarily a sad thing. It’s a natural thing. We all influence each other. Allowing yourself to be influenced does not mean the relationship has eclipsed your life, or that you’re in an unhealthy dependence, or that you’ve lost your individual will–you’re still part of what you’ve made together. And if you’re happy in your relationship, anyone who comes along afterwards needs to understand who it’s made you, and be accepting of it, and most of all, be willing to have a relationship with your relationship. Not just one of its parts.

The romantic writing of Dean / Cas (through deleted scenes)

OK, so full disclosure. This started as a simple answer but turned into a whole thing about TPTB and the meaning of deleted scenes and kind of therefore ended up as a Tink’s own small version of a masterpost of the writing of Destiel.

For me, deleted scenes are really important. They made their way to the DVD anyway so are part of canon, lets start with that. But they are deleted for a reason. And before that, they are though up, written, authorised, acted and edited for a reason.

For me the deleted scenes I list below are a big, core part of why I believe Dean and Cas are written romantically and that this is canon. Whether they decide to follow through on it is another matter but I and I know a lot of others agree that they are clearly written romantically and these deleted scenes uphold that. Then they are deleted. Now, some deleted scenes are for time but as you can see here, these scenes often hold key information regarding the overall narrative so clearly they are deleted because of the strong Destiel references. I like to believe this is because they just want to drag it out instead of completely get rid of it from the show, I was worried I’ll be honest before mid season 11 but since then I’m tentatively positive in that I believe the tides are turning and they will textualise Destiel properly and stop deleting these kinds of scenes, especially since season 12 has had so many similar scenes go through to the final cut…

The important deleted scenes for me regarding Destiel are:

1. The deleted scene from 10x23 

Cas states clearly that his time on earth has been more important to him than any time in Heaven and Sam and Dean are like family to him.

here’s a link. Basically it’s this:

Source:

http://constiellation.tumblr.com/post/134329938841/10x23-deleted-scene

As always Cas’s scenes that are just too emotionally compromising or hint too deeply at his feelings for Dean (even if Sam is lobbed in there too) are deleted, BUT this in particular has now been addressed in 12x12! So….fingers crossed?!

2. The deleted scene from season 9 

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE, IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO THE WHOLE SHOW, to the whole of the narrative for Cas and Crowley. 

Here’s a link to the video.

This one scene just kills me as it sets up Cas and Crowley’s whole arcs for the whole show and yet it is deleted because, clearly, no homo. As otherwise it is an excellent scene to shed light on two of the core characters of the show and reveals their motivations for their actions, which is what a lot of the fans have struggled with, saying these 2 characters are stale. 

In this scene Cas and Crowley discuss how they ‘dislike’ being human and how it’s so not worth it and why would you want to be human anyway (the underlying feeling being that they’re both lying and there is a reason they would like to be) - and then Dean immediately walks in and they share a glance. This is….. expositional screenwriting 101 ? 

I mean this is a classic - in fact it reminded me so clearly of the opening scene of a classic romantic supernatural love pairing in the cartoon Beauty and the Beast - the narrator says “for… who could love a Beast?” - and it CUTS TO BELLE’s introduction…

Originally posted by never-a-god

And yet they cut this scene. And it means we don’t get a clear narrative reason why Cas and Crowley do what they do and are who they are, and casual viewers who don’t look into things as deeply as all of us are confused and think they’re stale and uninteresting. 

Without this scene only people who really look into the show in huge detail, dorks like me, will know that Cas and Crowley are mirrors of each other and both their arcs up to a point revolve entirely around Dean Humanity Winchester.

Yes. That is what happens when you cut important scenes for a stupid reason, the whole show doesn’t make sense and fans get annoyed. *facepalms*.

There are probably people out there who think Cas still wants to be an Angel pffff because he said “I just wanna be an Angel again“ that one time. Yeah, that one time he thought Dean was dead and there was nothing left for him and he knew being a proper Angel would lessen his emotional pain and give him a purpose to focus on. But then, as soon as he learned Dean was still wandering the Earth he just… hangs around, pining, languishing in the blue bathrobe of despair, hoping to fix him. 

And when he finally does get some grace back (FROM CROWLEY - these two are so interlinked Chuck help me what a great narrative if they actually showed it properly) he doesn’t WANT the grace, Crowley doesn’t really want to give Cas grace either but he does it FOR DEAN, and Cas, he allows Crowley to do it FOR DEAN. This then also reminds us how earlier on when Cas steals his first lot of grace Dean asks Cas if he’s cool about being an Angel again Cas deflects and says he needs it. Not wants it, but needs it to fight.  

WHY does Castiel not want his grace back? WHY might Castiel have learned to love ‘humanity’? WHY might Castiel want to be human?

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT FOR CASTIEL’S ENTIRE STORY.  

*facepalms again*.

3. The deleted scene from 10x14.

Here’s a link

This scene is not only is great for it’s own individual reveal - Cas and Crowley jealously pretending they dont care about Dean and perhaps he is the other’s boyfriend, even using the term boyfriend, I mean, guys. Could this be clearer? 

But this also just ties in to the whole end of the episode where Dean hands CAS the first blade instead of returning it to Crowley. HE CHOOSES CAS! THIS IS SO IMPORTANT (and is easily overlooked as it was deleted for *reasons*).

This, in an episode where Cas is clearly narratively paralleled as Dean’s Colette, where Dean is scared of losing himself and in a call-back to the season’s start and call-forward to the season’s ending Cas is desperately trying to save him and stop, to keep his humanity….

So, in conclusion… 

There is a recurring theme of Destiel (and Drowley) - heavy scenes being cut and this is hurting the narrative of the overall show. It’s not that these relationship are written into the show to begin with that is the problem as they are key to so much of the overall story arcs but the fact that they are written in, used extensively as key points in the story while being kept in the subtext and then when there is an opportunity to make it textual to make it make SENSE to the narrative it is so heavily affecting, these scenes are cut.

*FACEPALMS SO HARD INTO MY KEYBOARD*

Why are they hurting their own show by doing this?!

So yeah, it’d be lovely if they actually showed these scenes that explains WHY things are happening to the casual viewer and Destiel shippers weren’t sometimes made to feel like we are grasping at straws. 

Newsflash, it’s like a milkshake bar there are so many straws in this show, everyone involved knows about it and plays on it and CONSISTENTLY WRITES IT INTO THE MAIN NARRATIVE.

Just search Amara on my blog, the whole of season 11 doesn’t make sense without Destiel. If God’s sister herself reveals that Dean represents humanity after the fandom had that meltdown after Metatron’s ‘in love with humanity’ speech, DURING a scene interspersed with Metatron just to remind us ;) If God’s sister has to work through the Dean / Cas longing to reach Dean, uses Cas to manipulate Dean, keeps talking to Dean about love and hiding things, holding back, if Dean calls out to Cas while in Amara’s presence and pretty consistently only cares about Cas during these interactions where Amara is present, even though they themselves are bonded by the mark, one of God’s most powerful creations…. please

And season 12 basically is one long Cas-focused parallel so they know what they are doing at this point. I want to trust Dabb but we have been burned before so… tentatively fingers crossed on this one now.

It’s just so freaking stupid to build a gorgeous story and through Chuck knows what, I like to hope it’s not homophobia but at these points I feel like what else can it be, they ruin their own narrative and make the story just flounder, not making a whole lot of sense because  they are not following through on their own narrative and we are therefore MISSING INFORMATION!

We are tired of waiting for this all to make sense.

Originally posted by thoughtsduringsupernatural

So I recommend anyone and everyone pay attention to deleted scenes. They are scenes that show that writers have noticed all the other subtext themselves in order to add to it, then thought about, written, acted out, edited and at the last junction been ripped out, and from these scenes it’s clear why, they all share a focal point - canonising or at least heavily clarifying the subtext between Cas and Dean and/or Crowley and Dean.

Because it is there, we are not insane. If it gets so far as to get acted out and left on the cutting room floor then it’s there and there’s a reason it’s been cut.

It Takes An Accident- Pietro x Reader

Authors notes: I have never done a Soulmate AU so I hope this is okay. Thanks for the request Anon. Also, I dished this out this morning and did not read it over and over like I usually do to edit fics so, sorry for any mistakes. Also, also, I don’t do science so I hope the number thing makes sense.

Prompt: I have a request (no rush) if you write Pietro could you write a soulmate mark one? Pietro or reader has their mark in a hard to see place so one doesn’t what to look for, but the other has it on a visible spot. .. Am I making sense I’m not sure XD

 Notes/Warnings: I cant really think of anything but maybe adrenaline rush, flying, falling, crashing.

Originally posted by heartstacey

 You hate it.

 Its dark and it hurt when it burned into your skin. On the plus side, its on the the back of your hip so, no one can see the deep red numbers that sat raised slightly above the rest of your skin. They looked like scars, lifted with a slight shine to them. The thing that bothered you about all this soulmate nonsense was the fast that it was so unclear.

 For some people their numbers were a date, for some a location, and others, a time. Then, there were the extremely rare ones who got letters, initials or even an actual name. You however were stuck with numbers, so there was no way of knowing what yours meant.

 The number was too short to be a date or location. So, what did 894 mean? Screw it, you didn’t care. With your luck, you probably wouldn’t even meet your soulmate, it’s known to happen to some people.

Keep reading

can I just Rant for a second here

Spiderman: Homecoming is so redeeming for me. 

A lot of people grew up on Captain America, or Iron Man. I was that little period in between that was a bit too late for Cap, and a bit too early for Tony. I grew up on Spiderman. I watched every show I could get my hands on, cartoons, kids shows, movies, I read comics. Spiderman was my superhero, especially when I was a preteen and I needed someone like that, someone who was like me. Spiderman was like me. He is the epitome of a teenager. I mean, you just have to look at his one-liners to see it. Things like that came out of me and my brother’s mouth daily, and then I see a hero doing the same thing. Spiderman was MY hero. 

I’ve already told you I watched the movies. Tobey Macguire’s Spiderman first came out in 2002, I was too young to watch it. So I knew the comics, the cartoons, all of Peter’s origins and villains and backstory, before I watched his films. I’m going to preface this by saying I only watched half of the first one. But it was SO disappointing. 

What makes Spiderman a hero, to me, is not his powers. Anyone could be mutated and decide, “hey, I’m going to deal with this” or “hey, I should get this checked out”. Peter didn’t do that, because he already wanted to be a hero. His powers didn’t make him a hero. He was a hero before. Spiderman is not about his powers. But that’s what 2002 Spiderman did. They took away Peter’s intelligence, made him little more than a comic relief. His intelligence is an integral part of Peter. He made his own webshooters, they aren’t a part of his powers. That, that right there shows you how much of a hero he is. Because yeah, he can climb on walls and use super strength, but when you think of Spiderman, you don’t think of those, you think of his webs. Those are his weapons, and they don’t hurt anyone, and I swear to god if that doesn’t show you how much Peter is a hero, you’re looking at him wrong. And so there’s no better way to show you how much 2002 messed up Spiderman than the fact that the webs are part of his powers, that he had them and didn’t make them. They took away his intelligence, his ingenuity, and that is what Peter IS. They turn him nothing more than ridiculous, and it was so crushing. 

Originally posted by ellijahwood

Peter is brilliant. He’s an amazing scientist, in the cartoons he often has internships as well as being a photographer, and he made his own webshooters. In CACW, Tony fucking Stark is impressed with the webshooters. He’s amazed, Tony Stark is amazed, at what Peter made. Peter works with a box of scraps and creates amazing things. He doesn’t fight with brute force, he strategizes, which is what makes the webs work for him as a weapon. 

On another note, Andrew Garfield’s 2012 film I saw in theaters when it came out. I was just 13, and idolized Spiderman, because he was one of us. I was disappointed that he was not in highschool (and by this I mean, I understand that they claimed Peter and Gwen were in highschool, but I’m sorry, Andrew and Emma don’t pass off as highschoolers. If they were going to completely invalidate the identity like that, they should have just set it in college. I never was able to fully immerse myself in the story and believe that Peter was in highschool, and he had so much freetime that it was even more unbelievable that he was a highschooler), because to me the fact that Peter has to balance his classes, part-time job, and crimefighting just once again shows his absolute dedication and brilliance and is an incredibly important aspect of his character, but it was fine. The 2012 film was much better than the 2002 film, but I still disliked it; it left me unsatisfied. Peter’s character was more true to form, but the movie itself was done badly and, I felt, focused too much on a romance for an origin story that (spoiler alert!!) didn’t even pan out. I understand that the movie was simply a set up for a series (that didn’t even work out well), but it was still incredibly disheartening. Perhaps the worst part was the fact that he WASN’T a highschooler, because I felt like they were invalidating teenagers and an important part of my identity at the time. I think the fact that Peter is a teenager is incredibly influential over his entire character, and the way he fights and speaks.  But I was also incredibly disappointed that they didn’t even stay true to Peter’s origin story!! Who is the Lizard? Where was Harry? 

Originally posted by arkinthecurious

Back to Spiderman: Homecoming. I was so ecstatic when they included Spiderman in CACW. I was even more excited when they released who would be playing him. Finally, Peter is a teenager played by someone who can pass off as an actual teenager. Finally, he is back to his brilliant roots (”I can’t” “Why not?” “I have homework…”). It is so redeeming. Everything that was incredibly important to Peter’s character which has been taken away in the past is back. 

Originally posted by amazingmotionpicture

He’s an awkward teenager, but still incredibly brilliant. He has trouble with communication. Aunt May and school are important to him, just as important as saving people (Not the world. PEOPLE). He’s not afraid to stand up to someone, even if they’re someone he believes in and looks up to (examples: see CACW). He banters during fights but is still badass. He’s fascinated by things he doesn’t understand, willing to learn. He tries too hard. He is a teenager, in every sense of the word. 

I’m most looking forward to Tony’s role in Homecoming. Because Peter is exactly like Tony. He is an innovator, an inventor. He’s brilliant, too brilliant for his own good, and has been alienated for it. He lost his parents young, but has a few good friends. And he believes in people. Like Tony, he doesn’t want to save the world. He just wants to save people. He believes that people are important. That’s why he’s a hero – that’s why Tony’s a hero. Neither one of them could give it up, because they can’t give up on people. They’ll fight for people, just as much as they’ll fight for what they believe in. There are so many parallels between them, and Tony saying “I wanted you to be better” told me that he sees them to. I am so excited to see that relationship. 

I am incredibly hopeful for Spiderman: Homecoming, and I hope it does Peter the justice none of the other movies have. 

The 100 Hellatus Survival Kit

Since I know all of us will be in various stages of mourning and death over the next 9ish months, here’s some fandoms to fling yourselves into to cope! (WARNING: There’s a lot of books..)

* = (post) apocalypse / dystopia setting
** = relationship dynamic reminiscent of bellarke
*** = both

Television

**The Expanse

Want to fantasize about the delinquents in space? This is basically the S5 au you need.

  • kick ass space opera
  • diverse af cast
  • Nolden = Space Blarke (not kidding, this is what would’ve happened if she went to space)

**The X-Files

I know I never shut up about this show, but it’s for a good reason. Are you sad about Bellarke and need a long ass show to invest yourself in? With a slow burn couple, built on trust and respect and support? LOOK NO FURTHER!

  • government conspiracies
  • sad space parents
  • the longest slow burn that will renew your faith in blarke (its literally 7 years)
  • 10 seasons worth of content so you won’t run dry
  • MULDER AND SCULLY ARE LITERALLY BELLARKE I STG YOU CAN ASK HAILEE AND GRACE

Sense8

Looking for another “diverse group of misfits that create their own family” to cry over?

  • 8 people share a psychic link
  • the bad government want to experiment on them
  • the most diverse cast i stg (gay ships! trans characters! poc!)
  • ships that will make you cry for 17 days 
  • so many people sleep on this so and i not qu(white) understand

***The Walking Dead

How about another power couple leading a rag tag group of peeps through the apocalypse? (Yeah I’m talking about Richonne)

  • zombie apocalypse
  • i don’t think i really need to explain this
  • but ana would literally kill me if i didn’t include them on this list
  • richonne = bellarke material

**Lost

You can thank Mik and April for this one. In case you’re wondering what’s in store for blarke next season, or if you’re wanting to imagine that reunion.

  • DESMOND AND PENNY 
  • bunch a strangers plane crash on a magic island
  • it’ll melt your brains (I’ve watched it twice and I’m still not sure i completely understand everything)
  • but seriously ask mik about desmond x penny because she’ll make you cry about s5 blarke

Stitchers

Just want a cute feel good show with just enough angst and a ship that will cause you only minor pain?

  • girl with a made up brain condition “stitches” into the minds of dead people to solve murders
  • camsten gives me butterflies
  • its just really cute

Honorable Mentions: *Attack on Titan, *Psycho Pass, The OA, ***Battlestar Galactica (I’m still crying about lee and starbuck ok?) *Firefly, Teen Wolf, Glitch, Agents of SHIELD, Roswell, *3%, *Falling Skies, American Gods (SUPPORT RICKY)

Movies

***Pacific Rim

Stay with me here. How about a visually stunning movie about the people fighting monsters in giant robots? But with important character backstories, diversity, and Idris Elba?

  • giant godzilla like monsters crawl out of the ocean and terrorize the world
  • special pilots operate huge transformer like robots to fight them
  • watch and just imagine blarke isn’t drift compatible (can’t relate)
  • a sequel starring John Boyega

*Goodbye World

Still feeling that apocalypse vibe?

  • group of old college friends try to ride out the apocalypse in a cabin
  • its simple but dramatic

*Tomorrow, When the War Began (also a tv show and book series)

How about some Australian teenagers fighting back against a country on the brink of war and chillin’ in the outback?

  • its basically Red Dawn in Australia
  • its v dramatic 
  • based on the book series by John Marsden

*The Stand

I mean technically it was a mini series, but whatever. Down for the film version of Stephen King’s greatest work about the battle between good an evil across a pandemic ridden America?

  • a virus kills almost everyone in literally a couple days
  • survivors are called from all over to join either the good guys or the bad guys
  • its much cooler than it sounds
  • I’d recommend the book but its 1200 pages and I know y'all don’t have that motivation

*How I Live Now

Have a need for even more teenagers at the end of the world? 

  • political / nuclear apocalypse
  • group of kids try to survive in the english hills or whatever
  • ft. baby tom holland and a weird cousin relationship that i don’t get
  • its still good though

Honorable Mentions: Ginger Snaps, *Resident Evil (but just the first one), Electrick Children, *The Matrix, 28 Days Later, Children of Men

Books (this is gonna be a long one)

lets get the obvious ones out of the way…

**Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo

If y'all haven’t heard of this yet between me, Ana, and Delaney in the past month where have you been?

  • ragtag (diverse) group of criminals misfits band together to pull of the ultimate heist
  • lgbtq+ characters! characters oaf color! disabled characters!
  • the ships will literally tear your actual heart out (*whispers* kanej)

A Darker Shade of Magic (and sequels) by VE Schwab

pretend to be shocked for a minute… are you in the market for a soul crushing series, with morally grey, but entirely lovable characters, and relationships (romantic and platonic) that make you cry?

  • parallel londons, blood magic, pirates, and princes
  • lila bard
  • bisexual prince and his pirate privateer lover
  • lila bard
  • otp thats meets when person a robs person b and leaves them bleeding in an alley 
  • seriously if you take one recommendation from this list make it this one
  • LILA BARD

ok on to the ones i haven’t spent the last month yelling about

Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson

book hangover after you’ve finished the first 2 books? well here comes the perfect combo of both!

  • fantasy dystopia? basically a fantasy world if the dark lord had won
  • alchemy magic!
  • group of misfits come together to perform a heist

***The Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi

Does the absence of blarke have you longing for an angsty, enemies to friends to lovers ship?

  • dystopia where some people have super powers
  • girl who can kill people by touching them (she’s basically Rogue)
  • aaron warner <3
  • the angstiest shit i stg
  • its a romance hiding behind a dystopian storyline
  • i think warner has elements of S1 bellamy so I’m considering a similar dynamic, deal with it

*This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

I couldn’t not include more from my queen. Looking for a book about monsters, and music, and the end of the world?

  • a future where  every violent act a human commits manifests an actual living breathing monster
  • the city of verity is controlled by 2 warring families, (August’s and Kate’s)
  • Kate and August come together to battle the big bad that’s threatening their town
  • the writing is so. fucking. poetic.
  • also no romance!

Truthwitch by Susan Dennard

do you love witches? and kickass female friendship? and love interests that stab each other in the heart?

  • witch best friends (aka threadsisters) on the run
  • a complex af magic system (truthwitch-sense lies, windwitch-control wind/air, you get the idea)
  • seriously the female friendship tho
  • angsty ships that try to kill each other!!!
  • ongoing, but book 2 just came out

*On the Beach by Nevil Shute

Can’t get enough of people dealing with the impending end of the world?

  • last survivors of a nuclear apocalypse sit on an australian beach and wait for their death basically
  • how people handle knowing they’re about to be wiped out
  • be prepared to cry

***The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

More. Space. Stuff???

  • fairytale retellings in space??
  • cinder(ella) with a cyborg arm
  • + red riding hood, rapunzel, snow white
  • its been 84 years since i read, but i think cinder/kai reminded me vaguely of blarke so I’m counting it

*The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

I actually haven’t read this one so I don’t know if there’s a Blarke-esque relationship, but are you on the market for a book about gays and aliens in space??

  • space opera
  • introspective look at humanity and alien shit
  • some AI drama
  • f/f relationship (party!)

The Wrath and the Dawn (and sequel) by Renee Ahdieh

How do I open this one? Maybe you’re down for a retelling of 1001 Arabian nights?

  • such poetic writing
  • as i mentioned, retelling of 1001 Arabian Nights where this dude takes a new wife every night and kills her every morning
  • but then our salty heroin marries him and because she’s amazing she tricks him into keeping her alive through stories
  • and the romance is so angsty
  • i just started this so idk much else

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Looking to find a book basically about all of our lives?

  • fan fiction writer goes to college 
  • social anxiety is a bitch
  • theres a cute boy
  • its so fluffy it’ll make you smile

**Saga by Brian K. Vaugh and Fiona Stable

how about a few comic books? maybe one about a man and a woman from 2 warring intergalactic species on the run from their people?

  • forbidden romance between a bad ass black woman with wings and her kick ass asian husband with horns
  • running from both their governments that want their “abomination” baby dead (not a spoiler the first panel is literally her giving birth)
  • theres people with robot heads and alien orgies
  • its so fucking good
  • i feel like this is how 30 yo blarke would handle this situation

Teen Titans by Geoff Johns

On the look out for a superhero comic? Maybe, oh, ANOTHER ragtag group of misfits?

  • I know this isn’t everyone’s favorite iteration, but it’s mine and I love beast boy and raven so deal with it
  • robin, beast boy, raven, cyborg, etc.
  • just read it

Honorable Mentions: Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Cordova, The Raven Cycle series by Maggie Steivfater, Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee, The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare (listen, she’s trash, but Jem is my son and I love him), An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir, ***Red Rising by Pierce Brown,

I hope this helps everyone out! I tried to think of as many similarities as I could and then threw in some that are worth the interest! Happy Hellatus lovelies!

ALRIGHT Y’ALL BUCKLE UP BECAUSE, THANKS TO THIS POST ABOUT LANCE, I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST PARALLEL OF ALL TIME

The post ends with the line “it takes a lot of courage to stand up to your friend and your hero like that.”

AND YA’LL

Y

A

L

L

Keith and Lance are Harry and Neville

(more under the cut because this is long as fuck)

Keep reading

12x21: it’s not all bad

This is a review of 12x21 that ends on a positive note.

I will expand further here why I think this episode was badly written and poorly executed, but did further the overall positive outlook for the season.

Important first impression:
- The overall season arc plot points (and therefore not written specifically by Bucklemming) were greatly moved forwards.
- The points that were just relevant to this episode and were painful, unnecessary and not even used well or referenced by the actual protagonists were all Bucklemming.

1. Eileen. Fucking Eileen, man.

Originally posted by peter-pantomime

She didn’t have to die. She didn’t have to die like that. She didn’t have to die like that and then have barely any real reaction from Sam and Dean about it

Where was Sam’s textualised pain? Where was the Red Meat parallel of Dean having to console Sam? I know he looked a bit anguished but I’m putting this down to Jared and direction, not the writers. 

However, I am going to give the smallest part of the benefit of the doubt and parallel this with Sam’s reaction to Dean about Cas, where Sam is all business and logic, trying to lessen the pain that way, rather than it being not caring.

BUT… how does this further Sam’s personal arc? He is supposed to be reconciling the hunting life and his previous want to get out? Killing off any friends and potential endgame love interests does this how? If I was Sam now after this as an example of the pain, I would want out NOW! NO MORE SAM AND DEAN HUNTING, SAVING PEOPLE, THE FAMILY BUSINESS. IT MAKES NO SENSE. 

On top of this, after all the heavy Saileen/Destiel parallels written by the same writers and the theme of Dean opening up more and realising that emotions should be voiced, how does this further Dean’s arc of realising he should just tell Cas how he feels before it’s too late?

It was a massive opportunity WASTED for not just endgame Saileen but also how her death could have been a valid character development moment for both of them.

These are the only valid reasons Eileen should have been killed off - to be referenced in some way by the protagonists. Even Charlie’s unnecessary death was a lazily written ‘turning point’ for Dean’s MoC fall into Darkness. But instead we have…well, nothing really.

I hope the writers of the next episodes maybe pick up on it and it’s just a delayed reaction otherwise it is just such a waste.

Destiel side note: Yes I did see that Crowley called Cas their ‘love slave’. I would flail about this except as I was saying with @elizabethrobertajones yesterday, there is so much real Destiel fodder now it kind of is not that important. HOWEVER I stick to the fact that Lucifer has been inside Cas and canonically knows how he feels and Crowley also knows how they both feel. So I guess, small wins and all that.

2. Mary.

Mary believes she used to have Free Will. Well, that hurts because we know it isn’t true (cupid). 

BUT Mary prefers to die rather than kill innocents (yes, thank you, redemption arc). Mary cannot break out of the brainwashing when Dean pleads with her (thank you Cas 8x17 mirror - found family is stronger than blood family and all that).

Mary must have had an inkling but now it has been voiced on the show that :  A. John was a child abuser and B. that Mary now knows

We have all been waiting for this since 12x01 so YES good thank you. Plot line moved forwards.

Dean is going to confront her about Azazel in 12x22….Now I’m assuming she is either brainwashed and he is trying to jump her out of it with harsh words or she is out of it already and Dean is just so fucking DONE that it comes out. This will be so interesting I’m actually kind of sad they’re back to back so we won't have time to process what seems to be going to be an amazing episode character wise.

3. Lucifer.

I mean, Chuck how lazy was that? “The polarity is reversed’. Jeez. Ok but, so Crowley is a rat, OK. Whatever.

Lucifer’s plot line though…

THIS IS THE BIG PLOT POINT FOR ME THAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT FROM THIS EPISODE:

Originally posted by faramaiofnerdwoodforest

Lucifer thinks he has won.  He is on top of the world.  “MY SON”.

Yes. Your son, who will be your downfall, who is the sunrise, who will bring the world to it’s feet (yes, again, sorry, I believe @amwritingmeta is totally right about this).

Who is being aided by your perfect mirror - the Fallen Angel who loves Humanity, while you hate it. Who doesn’t give a damn about God anymore, while you crave his attention. Who is constantly linked to the SUN.

I keep harping on that is time for Cas to be the Hero

He was a hero as part of TFW in season 4 and in season 5, in season 6 he was the hero even though he thought he should lie to Sam and Dean to do so, in order to protect them (hello 12x19), yes he went behind their backs but he stopped the second apocalypse ON HIS OWN. Since then it is just one big ball of hazy messes on everyone’s sides, meanwhile Cas has been getting more depressed, suicidal and full of self doubt.

THIS IS HIS HERO ARC. This is the culmination of his self worth arc, his faith arc, his Humanity arc.

This child will restore balance but it will also help to restore Cas’s faith in himself and self worth through his CHOICE to help it and convince Sam and Dean of it. 

There is a reason I think Cas seems brainwashed, because he is much more the old Castiel now than the broken shell that is Cas, not in terms of being brainwashed by Heaven etc but his self assurance and faith, while at the same time still being CAS. 

We are always talking about Sam and Dean reconciling the different parts of themselves together, THIS IS IT FOR CAS. 

This is the best that he can be and if this isn’t the case and he is brainwashed past the season finale then honestly I don’t even know what their endgame is other than to just kill all of TFW and their fans painfully.

So yeah, Cas is the hero. He will convince the boys of the righteous cause, they will be Team Free Will again. 

Cas literally IS the sunrise and so is the child.

Meanwhile, Lucifer thinks he is on top. He thinks he has won when actually he has brought defeat on himself.

I love this.

Anyway...

As one can assume based on my username I spend a lot of time thinking about Bellamy, who he is and what makes him who he is. My most recent round of thinking circled around to JRoth and his statements about Madi potentially causing issues between Bellamy and Clarke (because Clarke will do things for Madi that may not align with what’s best for their people), which made me think about what Bellamy’s relationships with children specifically over the course of the last four Seasons have said about his story arc, so let’s delve into this:

In Season 1, Bellamy’s connection to a child is Charlotte (who is 12). Through his relationship with her, we get our first real glimpse into who Bellamy actually is. Charlotte is only in two episodes (1x03 and 1x04) but her impact in Bellamy resonates across the Season.

Charlotte has a relationship with both Clarke and Bellamy and it’s one of the ways the show gives us a visualization of the differences between Bellamy and Clarke. We’re first introduced to Charlotte when she has a nightmare and Clarke attempts to comfort her:

Clarke: “Hey, wake up. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just a dream. You’re Charlotte, right? I’m Clarke. It’s okay to be scared. Do you want to talk about it?”

Charlotte: “It's… my parents. They were floated and they… and I see it in my dreams and I just…”

Clarke: “I understand. My dad was floated, too. So, how did you end up here?”

Charlotte: “Well… we were taking my parents’ things to the redistribution center and… I kind of lost it. They said I assaulted a guard.”

Clarke: “I can’t say I blame you. See that bright star up there? That’s The Ark orbiting above us. I think whatever happened up there, you know, the pain… maybe we can move past that now. Maybe being on the ground is our second chance.”

The next time we see Charlotte she’s followed Bellamy and the hunting party because she can’t deal with the sound of Jasper’s pain, unfortunately before they can make it back to camp the acid fog rolls in and we find Bellamy and Charlotte trapped in a cave.  Again, Charlotte is sleeping and has a nightmare, a parallel to her first interaction with Clarke, but they differ in how they handle the situation with Charlotte:

Charlotte: “No!”

Bellamy: “Charlotte, wake up. Charlotte: I’m sorry.”

Bellamy: “Does it happen often? What are you scared of? You know what? It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it.”

Charlotte: “But… I’m asleep.”

Bellamy: “Fears are fears. Slay your demons when you’re awake, they won’t be there to get you when you sleep.”

Charlotte: “Yeah, but… How?”

Bellamy: “You can’t afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death, fear is death. Let me see that knife I gave you. Now, when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife and you say, ‘Screw you. I’m not afraid.‘”

Charlotte: Screw you. I’m not afraid. Screw you. I’m not afraid.”

Bellamy: “Slay your demons, kid. Then you’ll be able to sleep.”

We see the difference in Bellamy and Clarke’s handling of the situation from the get go, while Clarke tries to get Charlotte to embrace the fear and learn from it, Bellamy encourages her to run from that fear, to pretend that she’s not afraid, to slay her demons. And we know she does this with disastrous effect when she kills Wells.

Bellamy is shaken by Charlotte’s actions, because they were influenced by his words, but “Weakness is death, fear is death” is still a statement that Bellamy embraces for the rest of the Season, in fact the only reason we actually see him admit to being afraid is when he thinks he’s dying (in a moment of weakness).

They deleted a scene where Bellamy gives a rousing speech to the Delinquents, but here’s what he says:

“Everybody, listen up. I know you’re afraid, but how you choose to handle that fear is up to you. You can let it break you down or you can use it to make you stronger. Are we just a bunch of kids from the Ark who weren’t strong enough to survive? Because if we lose today, if we let the fear win, that is what they’ll say about us. But I say screw fear: I’m telling my own damn story!”

Bellamy’s rejection of fear is the first sign that he’s anything other than the asshole that the show originally attempted to paint him as and also sets up his defining arc (”Screw fear.”) for Season 1.

Bellamy’s Season 2 kid is Lovejoy’s son and he’s introduced in Episode 2x11 (not as early as Charlotte) but he is a defining moment for Bellamy:

Lovejoy’s Son: “Mister… Are you on a ground unit? My dad is training for a ground unit.”

Bellamy: “It’s pretty cool up there. I hope he makes it. They’re just kids.”

Maya: “What did you expect you’d find here?”

And Maya’s question is an accurate assessment of Bellamy’s thought process until the moment he sees Lovejoy’s kid. He really did believe that the Mountain was full of monsters (and why shouldn’t he have?). Seeing Lovejoy’s kid forces him to reconsider the plan of attack and that’s when he almost begs Clarke for another:

“She helped me escape. If not for her, I’d be dead. And, Clarke, there are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn’t kill everyone. Please tell me we have one.”

Because Bellamy can handle killing monsters. That’s just slaying your demons, but kids? That’s a violation of everything he believes and it’s being forced to help make the decision that ultimately kills 26 children (along with the men and women) that is responsible for contributing to Bellamy breaking after his actions in the Mountain. 

Because for the first time slaying demons meant killing innocents as well. 

His Season 3 Kid? Adria, the girl who Luna loves. 

Again, this child is introduced late into the Season and they don’t actually interact much, but it is the first time that Bellamy actually sees with his own eyes the carnage that the Chipped!individuals can wreak on unsuspecting towns and its then that he fully realizes that the Chipped! aren’t enemies in the traditional sense. 

His interactions with Adria (and the others on Niylah’s rig) help lay the groundwork for Bellamy’s refusal to invade other Grounder villages the very next episode and, later, his insistence that the Chipped! are not killed only temporarily incapacitated until Clarke could shut down the CoL. 

Because this time, they are going to find a plan that saves everyone, unlike the ultimate resolution for Season 2. 

And last but not least, we have his Season 4 Kid: The Grounder Slave girl he saves in 4x02, When he saves her (and the other slaves), it’s a continuation of the journey he’s been on since Season 2 and Lovejoy’s kid:

Bellamy: “We didn’t get the machine.”

Clarke: “It didn’t survive landing?”

Bellamy: “No. It did, but I had a choice… bring the machine home or use it to save them.”

Raven: “Oh, we are so screwed.”

Bellamy: “We have time, but I am not sacrificing any more innocent lives.”

Clarke: “You just did.”

Bellamy: “I made the call, and I’ll live with that.”

Raven: “Yeah. You’re not the only one who has to live with your call, as usual.”

Bellamy: “Well, go tell them. Go tell Riley I should’ve left them to die.”

Bellamy has been forever changed by his actions over the course of the Seasons, but this is the first time we see him directly reference the loses he’s had to inflict in order to save his people. This is the beginning of Bellamy’s “We save who we can save today” arc. 

We see this arc come to final fruition when Bellamy has to make the decision to close the door on Clarke and blast off. The arc that we see begin for him in 4x02, saving those who can be saved, even if it ultimately means that others will die in that episode, is what preps him to be able to make the decision to close the door on Clarke in 4x13. 

It wasn’t just Clarke’s speech about using his head (although we do see him reference her with “It’s what she would have wanted”), it was the fact that he’d already made a decision just like this. Choosing to stay behind to wait for Clarke would have meant the death of the others on the rocket and while Bellamy might have been willing to make the sacrifice if it was just him (”I left her behind. I left her behind and we all die anyway”), he could not justify making the decision for everyone else, so he saved who he could save today. 

Basically….I wrote all of this out to say we should be paying close attention to Bellamy’s initial interactions with Madi (who will likely be one of the first children he meets) in Season 5, because they obviously plant lots of little seeds for Bellamy’s overarching Season journey in his relationships with children. 

Tsukiyama and Furuta: Two Moons Heading Towards an Eclipse

If you flip this number down it’s…. absolutely nothing. If you flip and reverse it, ie what would happen if you were to place it in a mirror than you get a backwards nineteen. If you just flip it it looks sort of like a 16 in the wrong order. If you take the numbers as individual, an upside down six can be the lovers in reverse while an upside down 1 could represent Hide as he was just mentioned in the last chapter. They could also not even be numbers but representative of a moth’s wings instead. They could also be moths wings as depicted at the beginning of the chapter. 

They could also just be a pun on the word orgasm [x] with japanese numbers. My point is things can have many possible interpretations so try not to refute the assertions I make in this post with ‘that’s a nineteen’ or ‘that’s representative of the sun’.  Anyway, continuing forward read under the cut for the explanation and yes I actually do get to Tsukiyama. 

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I have to confess that there seems to be a persistent fandom perception that Keith’s dad was an awful person and cruel parent or that, at best, he up and ditched Keith willfully for possibly a nebulously well-intended reason.

Which… confuses me, honestly.

Like. Let’s just look at s2e8 and what that told us.

First: Keith still cares about his father. He would not have seen his dad in that scenario afterward. Kolivan states the suit plays on Keith’s greatest fears and greatest hopes. One of Keith’s greatest hopes is seeing his father again. When the image of his dad asks if Keith wants to catch up, Keith’s response, without hesitation, is, “of course I do.” He looks hurt his dad would even consider Keith turning him away.

Look at that face. That’s not just “I don’t understand totally what’s going on here,” that’s “Dad, how could you even insinuate I don’t want you here?”

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[S]:Collapse

mayhaps im just repeating what someone else has already said and said better but [S]:Collide needed to be way smarter than it was 

like. i genuinely think hussie wrote the scene and its prior framing around the striders, terezi, vriska, and john and/or roxy, and then tossed in the rest w/o regard to what could reasonably be deemed a satisfying ending to their arcs.

here’s what could have been tighter:

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12x23: Destiel and s13 set up

So… pretty much everyone is dead or removed into a different dimension other than Sam and Dean…

I’m not going to go into the whole alternate universes discussion as so many good points have already been made. For me its just a plot point to take Lucifer and Mary away at the same time as Cas, to lead to the s13 starting point of winning Mary and Cas back and eventually having Lucifer back on the board too, when Jack has done his ‘bad things’ and has been pointed towards the ‘righteous path’ by a certain couple of someones…

To keep it brief because I’m just very late to the board and I can see there has been so much meta and speculation already, here are my thoughts:

TFW

- Cas is dead. 

Originally posted by yourfavoritedirector

Yeah, this is exactly what I expected  *happy dance*

As you will all know if you have read my ‘break up theory’ meta which is just taking standard romantic story line structure and seeing where they fit, which they PERFECTLY fit into by the way, since season 4 til now now, at this ‘break up’ point which is where for example Ursula looks like she’s about to win Eric away from Ariel or the Beast has to let Belle go back to her father… it’s the last 20 minutes of the movie, basically. 

I had said that 12x19 was going to be an argument and chosen separation, which it was, 12x20-22 was going to focus on Dean’s inner self and self acceptance, which it did, and 12x23 was going to have a forced separation, which it did. What could be better than Cas’s death at this point?! Seriously? For Dean, who has JUST figured out that he doesn’t want to hide behind his facade anymore, to have to now deal with losing Cas RIGHT AT THIS POINT. I nearly want to say ‘you can’t write this shit!’ but…clearly you can, thank you Dabb & Season 13 writers!

I’d even speculated about the fact that Mary would also be taken away at the same time (in order to downplay the Pining!Dean of course), but I hadn’t factored in that they would be taken away in separate ways, which is an interesting way to do it, but essentially still boils down to the same thing character-reaction wise.

There were only 2 things that I didn’t like in the way that this was done:

1. We didn’t get a hugely emotional reaction from Dean after the initial shock, but man, the initial shock stuff was GREAT (the screaming, the parallel with Sam/Jess when he’s pulled away, then the parallel with Cain/Colette when he falls to his knees…) BUT now we know that they filmed what happens next already? Jensen hinted that Dean cries? Also that we will see more reaction about this death in 13x01.

2. That Cas’s death felt like it was very much geared towards being a tool for Dean’s man pain, without telling us one way or another if Cas was being manipulated by Jack, whether Cas was right or wrong in his choices. Not treating this death as something relevant to CAS but only to DEAN. That really annoyed me as a big time Cas fan (but still mainly a Dean girl). BUT again, we have been told at Jibcon that the important thing is how this death AFFECTS / TRANSFORMS Cas so this is again going to be relevant to season 13. 

So I’m totally forgiving them for not putting it in 12x23 if we are going to get it in the next episode and they told us at Jibcon so hellatus isn’t so hellish :)

Basically, it’s all on track for endgame Destiel, *yay*.

- Sam & Jack. Well…

Originally posted by randommagpie

I still do believe until proven otherwise that Jack still has a CHOICE to make about which way he takes his life and what he does.

I’ve said before that this season and now I’m even more convinced that season 12 was so Dean focused (and Cas) that season 13 should be very Sam focused, which it now looks like it definitely will be. I was thinking endgame Mol!Sam anyway but to have that kind of pushed forwards in 22 was… well honestly I found it slightly jarring in it’s speed, but hey. Now with Mol!Sam on track and Jack too, with Sam being the one to find him… yeah, season 13 is going to be VERY Sam focused.

The Nephilim story is a huge part of tieing up Sam’s self-forgiveness arc that centres around being Lucifer’s vessel, the bad choices he made to start with with Ruby, the demon blood, even then in s11 going back to the cage, but also the good choices he has made… the link between him and Jack is going to be key to his endgame arc.

I fully expect and hope to see Jack make some very bad decisions to start with but be led to being good in the long run by the boys, the Righteous Man and the Boy who rejected Lucifers plan for him, and probably eventually the Fallen Angel in love with Humanity, the direct mirror to his blood father … 

For me this is where I see the story going in the long run. 

I may be wrong but honestly I don’t see how it can be any other way, given the narrative over the last 12 years for the core characters: the overriding theme of free will, of choices and heart (love), of family being chosen, not just blood, all this creating who you choose to be as a person. If Jack ends up evil, fine, but it will have to be his CHOICE to be evil, and honestly, I don’t see that this is where they are going with this.

Cas is also linked to Jack in whatever way it is with the yellow grace, the fact that Jack chose Cas and Cas seems to have chosen Jack, whether it be against his will or not is yet to be seen and can only be speculated about, even though I have my own mind made up about this until proven otherwise…

But ALSO their stories are so similar - literally both stuck between Heaven and Earth.

Jack will be key to both SAM and CAS’s arcs next season, which makes total sense after s12 was all about Dean and deconstructing Performing!Dean, it was absolutely beautifully done.

- Other aspects: 

Crowley is Dead, but for me he went out in a really good way and tbh I would be a bit upset at this point if they brought him back after that excellent Death.

The important thing is how this relates to Dean - who just the episode before has basically let down the walls to Performing!Dean, the ‘dark side’ that is sometimes associated with Crowley. 

Then Crowley (who represents this dark side of Dean), dies after SAYING HE IS JUST DONE WITH IT ALL and kills HIMSELF.

CROWLEY’S DEATH IS THE METAPHORICAL DEATH OF THE DARK SIDE OF DEAN WINCHESTER WHICH I WROTE ABOUT MONTHS AGO AND I AM ALIVE. 

Rowena’s death not so much but then again, she was always a villain until recently and, like Crowley, I understand that people like them both, but when you look at the awful things that they have done, to be honest, I’m not so hot on a redemption arc for them. Dying in a good way is what I would have wanted for both of them and Rowena’s death pisses me off as we were robbed of that (if she isn’t going to somehow come back).

AUs don’t excite me and IDGAF unless they give us some good plot points and character arcs that tie in. 

Lucifer & Mary. Will be back for plot reasons, honestly, I hope they keep well out of season 13 until it is time for Jack to help out and if they are literally in 2 episodes I will be happiest but I doubt that, they will drag them and the stupid AU out for much more than its worth but eh, ok, fine. Shrugs and sticks to caring about the character driven storylines that will take place around this.

Overall, this wasn’t the character - driven finale I was hoping for, there was way too much faffing around in the AU, which I really don’t find interesting, way too much Lucifer BUT the themes are carrying forwards into season 13 as I had hoped they would, Cas’s death seems to be going to serve exactly the purpose for both his arc and Destiel that I would hope and this episode coupled with 22 makes me even more confident in my endgame wishlist.

Tink’s Endgame Positive Wishlist :

Originally posted by dustydreamsanddirtyscars

- Mol! Sam (and Eileen, Chuck I’m still bitter about that though, I really hoped her death would turn out to be a misdirection). Pretty much CHECK.

- Hunter / Mol collaboration with Sam and Dean as leaders. Pretty much CHECK.

- End of the brodependency, Dean acknowledging he was Sam’s parent and letting him go. CHECK.

- End of Performing!Dean. Pretty much CHECK.

- Destiel. Pretty much CHECK.

- Human!Cas and self worth and belonging for his arc. TBA probably next season, what happened this season makes no sense if not to lead to this.

anonymous asked:

hello, do you mind me asking what happened with sleepy hollow? I only watched the first season lol

not at all! okay so first off, congratulations on escaping the train wreck early. second, there was a shitload of bs happening behind the scenes, 99% of which we are still in the dark about. the rest is under a cut bc damn.

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What I loved about chapter 14 of UMFBAMHA

If you haven’t read it yet then a) why on earth not and b) don’t read this, there will be spoilers.

(DISCLAIMER: This may be disjointed because a grumpy preschool child keeps hitting me with a toilet roll and yelling at me to come fix his lego model and there won’t be time to check it through, I’m just gonna write and post before school run time)

OK.  So this was a really long chapter.  And if you think about it, aside from the last 5 minutes or so, nothing actually happens in it.  (That’s not a criticism BTW!).  The whole chapter is basically ‘Yuuri has a good long think and talks to a load of people and finally gets a lot of stuff straight in his head and until you read it you wouldn’t have thought it would take so long but it totally does and it totally needed to’.  Indeed within the chapter itself it’s said over and over again that Yuuri needs to take some time.  So it’s a huge testament to the way that @kazliin writes so beautifully that there is nothing in the chapter that feels long or boring or makes you feel like you want to skip ahead to see some action.   It doesn’t need any action.  It’s slow and peaceful and sad and lovely.  

(This has got super long so the rest of below the cut)

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kaibutsushidousha  asked:

We know Saihara's favorite character was Kirigiri and Shirogane was Junko, but have you tried to guess who the rest of the cast's favs were based on how they built their own characters?

This is a really fun ask that I’ve had sitting here for a while now, because it’s really, really interesting to think about.

Most of what I have is just speculation of course, and personal feelings about which characters they must have liked based on similarities, so I’ll try my best! You already mentioned Saihara and Tsumugi, and both of those are on-point obviously, so I’ll just handle all the other characters.

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Coming Home: A Steggy AU

1945

“Peg.” Even over the phone, Howard Stark’s voice teemed with excitement and urgency, slight desperation and much hope. “Peg, we’re so close. We may be able to actually do it!”

Peggy Carter leaned against the counter of her cramped apartment, pressing the phone closer to her cheek. It was the unusual seriousness of her friend that kept annoyance from creeping into her tone. “Do what, Howard?” She tried to elicit more details from him. “What’s going on?”

“…I can find him. I might be able to finally do it, Peg!”

“Find Steve?” Her words caught in her throat. She fiddled with the wire of the phone, her typical calm and confident attitude evaporating instantly, the old wound so easily reopened.

“Yeah, Peg, listen. I’ve been building a plane. It’s small, but it’s equipped with scopes, radar, all the works. I’ve done the math, and I think I know where his plane is.”

“But- he’s gone.” Tears creeped into her eyes, as she spoke, hating her own words, hating her sudden lack of composure.. “Steve is dead.”

“I- I know, Peg. But we can bring him home. Give him a funeral in Brooklyn. That’s what he would have wanted.” Howard sounded desperate and rueful, not at all like his normal boisterous self. “I owe him that. Let me give him that.”

“It was never your fault, Howard. He wouldn’t want you to feel guilty.”

“I need closure, Peg. Don’t you too?” He baited her.

The woman stood alone in her kitchen, her back against the counter. Peggy closed her eyes, thinking of the skinny boy from Brooklyn who would die fighting in the name of his home, knowing he would perish a world away from the place and people he had loved most.

And she knew her answer.

***

Soon enough, she found herself packed in flight tower with an flight crew, navigators, military officials. The air was tense accompanied only by silence, but occasionally, a few bursts of static would interrupt the stillness.

In all, the environment was unbearable. Peggy thought it odd that all the high ranking officials, who had previously faced a war, couldn’t even sum up the courage to make small talk with one another.

She despised the similarities between this place and the last flight tower she had been in, the one where she had listened to Steve talk as he steered the plane into the water. His voice had been calm enough, though she couldn’t deny the underlying tones of panic beneath the facade. He had talked until he died, the static replacing his sudden goodbye.

But now, the bursts of static meant something new. They gave a quiet sense of hope to the room full of the people closest to Captain America, reassuring them that their friend and comrade received a proper goodbye.

Finally, Howard’s voice emitted from the radio, interrupting the static. “I see something… it’s definitely not snow or ice… for a change…”

The tension in the room spiked, reaching a breaking point like a wire snapping. Excited whispers broke out, sending the room into a flurry. A group of military men congregated around the radio, but Peggy somehow found herself front and center, surrounded by everyone else. She deliberately ignored the awful parallels between her experience just over a month ago and this one as Howard talked.

“I’m landing now. There’s a flat enough sheet of ice in front of me. Everything is frozen for miles and miles, so it should hold.” His words reflected the mood of the flight tower’s; eager, yet still a little sad. Nobody spoke.

“The ice is holding. I’m pretty close, and it does look vaguely like a plane. I’m going to check it out.”

“Affirmative, Howard. Be careful.” The brunette managed, the emotion rising in her chest and making it hard to breathe.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, Peg. You know me.” Howard promised, and Peggy relaxed ever so slightly, trying not to imagine what he was about to discover.

The next ten minutes were agony. Her mind was overworking, thinking of every horrible possibility, worrying about Howard and unable to let any of it show, not in front of her superiors.

“Peggy, I need you to trust me, and I need you to listen to me, okay?” Howard returned abruptly, sounding desperate. Peggy’s heart pounded in her chest as she responded.

“Yes, Howard, I- what is it? What did you find?”

“I need you to leave. Go home, and I’ll call you after I get back.”

“No, absolutely not-”

“Peg, I wouldn’t ask-”

“I have every right to be here!” She half-shouted. The woman’s voice quieted after she took a deep breath, but she still spoke firmly. “I was closer to Steve than anyone else here, and I have every right to stay.”

“Just trust me on this. Peggy, please.”

“I can handle whatever it is you have to say!”

“Agent Carter,” Colonel Philips interrupted, “perhaps Mr. Stark is right.”

The veteran glared at the Colonel, a flush creeping into her cheeks, her outrage showing and betraying her. “I don’t believe this.”

“I’ll explain soon.” Howard tried to assure her, and Peggy was despicably satisfied to hear regret in his voice. She huffed, giving everyone in the room a murderous look before storming out.

They forced her to leave the tower, but Peggy refused to go home while the men were discussing Steve, or whatever it was Howard had to share. She sat on the ground outside, staring at the cement in front her, drawing her coat closer to her in an effort against the cold.

***

Fantasises, the good and the bad alike, had seized Peggy’s mind and dominated all of her thoughts, as her brain computed, with an uncontrollable frenzy, all the possible outcomes of the day and what Howard was hiding from her. Her paranoia was only fueled further when an ambulance drove up the side of the long runway, parking just a hundred feet away from where the plane would later land. The two doctors pulled a gurney out of their long car and stood by it, waiting for their patient to arrive. Peggy watched with a furrowed brow, wondering if something could possibly be wrong with Howard. There was no pain in his voice when they had talked (or argued, rather). And Steve shouldn’t need doctors, as Peggy had to painfully remind herself.

Another hour and a half passed slowly. Each minute brought a new wave of worry for Peggy. Her foot tapped impatiently, showing both her nerves and her meager attempt at resistance against the extreme cold. Eventually though, a rumble in the sky announced the arrival of Howard, his despicable secret, and, hopefully, the last of Captain America.

As the plane landed, Peggy rose to her feet, and the men from the tower began to spill out around her. She kept her eyes forward, defiantly ignoring her male counterparts. The eyes of Colonel Phillips were on her, she could feel it, but that made a negligible difference on her cold demeanor.

Howard exited the small plane without his usual grand entrance, foregoing that and rushing to the doctors, exchanging a few, hurried words with them before coming over to her. She watched the two men dash over to the plane, craning her neck around Howard’s approaching figure.

Forcing her features to correctly reflect her icy disposition as Peggy wrestled with sympathy for her friend, who looked freezing with his hands stuffed deep into his pockets and his head burrowed deep in his coat, and the anger at him, which had only grown in her hours of waiting. She gave her best glare, and Howard shrunk back, looking appropriately guilty.

“Peg-” He began apologetically.

“I don’t want to hear that you’re sorry, Howard, I want to know what’s going on.” She cut him off, drawing herself up to her full height.

“I can’t do that just yet.” The billionaire stole a quick glance back at the plane, where the doctors were moving a large covered object onto the gurney. Peggy too stared at the strange and questionable scene, her mind still racing.

“I’m not some lovesick bimbo, Howard, I can handle it.”

His face softened ever so slightly, and Peggy saw his usually unbreakable and ego-driven attitude begin to fail. “Please, Peg, just trust me…”

Her nostrils flared. “Do you trust me, then? Because you seem to think that I’ll turn into a whimpering child at the first mention of bad news, that I haven’t already fought in a war, that I haven’t already lost Steve, that I didn’t talk to him while he died-” she stopped herself abruptly, blinking tears out of her eyes, “You have no right to withhold any information from me, Howard. None at all.”

His shoulders sagged. “I have to stand by it, Peg.”

She could only stare at him for a moment more before turning away wordlessly, stalking towards the car, her heel clicking on the pavement. Howard watched her for a moment before something dawned on him.

“Hey-” he started after her, “I’m your ride home!”

She didn’t bother turning around, but called back to him; “I suppose it’ll be a long ride back, then.”

***

“You’re not trying to make a profit off of this, are you?” demanded Peggy suddenly, “using his blood to make money?”

Howard barely spared her a glance before turning his focus back to the road. “No. I would never.”

“Well, you never involve reasonable people in your mindless money-making schemes, so I had to be sure.” She replied scathingly.

“Peg, if I were making money off of Steve’s blood, you’d kill me when you found out. And there’s no point in makin’ money if you’re not alive to enjoy it.”

She still fumed silently. The man sighed loudly, speeding down the lonely road and desperately thinking of a way to bridge the gap between him and his companion. After a few minutes, he seemed to come to a decision. “I am going to fill you in now, Peg. I was always going to.”

Peggy waited for him to continue, still aloof enough that she remained turned away, but her posture straightened slightly, listening attentively.

“I did find him. I found Steve. But between the ice and the serum… he looked exactly the same.” Peggy was looking directly at him now, transfixed on his face.

An involuntary shudder rippled through her. “He still looks like…?”

“Looked like he was sleeping.” Howard confirmed, and for once, his words came with a gentle delivery. Their eyes met for only a second, Peggy’s shining with tears. “But here’s the real kicker- I found a pulse. Peg, he’s alive.”

A shaking hand covered her mouth, the tears now streaming down her face. “Steve…”

“I could feel his heart beating. The serum did a better job than we ever thought it would.

"I didn’t want to tell you until he was stable,” Howard continued, “you know, no giving you false hope. I wasn’t sure- I could barely believe it.”

“You should have told me.”

“Look at you,” Howard denounced, “I just didn’t want you to lose Steve twice.”

She glared at him through her tears, though her happiness remained clearly splayed across her face. “But he’s stable?”

Her dear friend nodded eagerly. “Yeah, and the doctors even say that he’s woken up a few times this morning.”

More tears of joy slipped down Peggy’s cheek, as she sighed contentedly, the weight of grief disappearing from her shoulders. Such good news felt surreal to her, like it was too good to be true. But there was Howard, smiling at her lightly, and telling her they were on the way to the hospital to see Steve, and they were so close, oh so close.

She sniffed, wiping the wetness from her cheeks. “Thank you, Howard.”

***

Holding the large, callused, yet limp hand in her own felt so strange to Peggy. She couldn’t help but think how lucky she was that they were both here, the war over and the two of them safe and alive, together. But it still didn’t feel quite real. How could the man she had spent 6 weeks mourning be right there in front of her?

When they had arrived at the hospital, Peggy had been prepared to argue and fight with every nurse that came her way to gain access to Steve, but Howard had just announced their names, grinned impishly at the right women, and then they were right outside his room. “I’ll wait,” Howard had told her, “he’s all yours.” Briefly, Peggy wondered if she could handle this alone, but then she had turned the knob, given Howard and anxious smile and ended up in the same room as Steve Rogers once again in her life.

Now, looking at his face was practically unbearable, despite this being a moment she had spent many nights dreaming about. He hadn’t said anything yet, as Howard had informed her, and Peggy remained unable to believe the miracle in front of her just yet. For now, it was only if a ghost were present, a prominent memory accompanied by the vague sense of hope.

Peggy jumped when Steve gave a long sigh in his sleep, turning his head ever-so-slightly towards her. This small movement distracted her from her focus on his hands, her gaze now shifting to his face. A surge of emotion was created within her, the most dangerous of feelings exploding in her chest. All of the pain, anger and sorrow she had carried with her resurfaced. The frustration at losing Steve extruded inside her, her grievance at how her was so stupidly brave, brave enough to sacrifice his life, how ridiculous it was that they never acted upon their feelings for each other, how she waited, and waited, and never said anything or did anything until it became too late, and he was gone, flying away in that godforsaken plane, until he was crashing into the ice, far, far away. There was the pain of losing him, of saying goodbye, of sitting in that awful tower, listening to his last words, then just radio static, the pain of going to his funeral, watching as they lowed the empty coffin into the ground, walking along the streets accompanied by his thousands of fans and mourners, and finally, the confusion and joy, the whiplash of finding out that he could be a hero again, not just a martyr.

Staring at his face and his peacefully closed eyelids, she waited, suddenly unwilling and unable to look away, her breathing slowing to match his as a sense of calm and acceptance slowly settled over her,

Time faded away, minutes passing rapidly as she watched him, patiently now, anticipating it, but not rushing it.

Then, her prayers were answered, her dreams and hopes becoming a reality as his eyes fluttered open, staring at the ceiling blankly, then, as if sensing her presence, turning his head to see her face. Peggy sat still, not daring to move, focusing on his eyes, which, in turn, gazed at her, filled with amazement.

Her breath let out in a deep sigh, a long-withheld smile spreading across her face, an action that the breathing, alive, awake, present boy from Brooklyn imitated with ease.

“Hello, Darling.” She whispered quietly yet proudly, eyes shining with rapture and love for the young man who had saved the world countless times with his heroics and leadership, who now saved her once more from any possible grief in that moment, who filled her with hope, and inspired her, and kept her going on every bad day, who clearly loved her so much, and who, finally, could squeeze her hand back while the two people grinned ecstatically at each other, filled with an indescribable and endless happiness.

***

“I’d hate to step on your toes.” Steve recalled suddenly, speaking the thought as it came to him.

“What?” Peggy demanded sharply, jolted from her reverie back to the present. Their eyes met, hers startled and wide, his soft and calm. There was a pause as they stared at each other, caught up in the moment.

“That’s the last thing I remember,” Steve explained, shifting from his position on the hospital bed and gazing at Peggy intently, “telling you that.”

She blinked, taken aback. “Yes- yes, I know. I remember too.”

“That was six weeks ago.” He sounded sure of himself, but nonetheless, he looked to her for confirmation.

Peggy nodded helpfully. “That’s right.” She said, swallowing the sting that came with the memory, and smiling at Steve gently.

“What did I miss? Full story.” He prompted, sitting up a little straighter, desperate to learn anything about the world. Most of what he knew now was warped and blended together in the flurry of chatter and the blabbering of the doctors and nurses attending to Steve. Between the several check-ups he had endured, the hour of questioning, and the large meal that had been forced down his throat, he had been able to gleam any real information.

“The war is over,” she told him , looking down at her hands, “we won. And I’ve attended more funerals than I care to count,” her voice caught, “including Bucky’s. Including yours.”

“I’m sorry.” He uttered instantly, the helplessness written across his face.

“Don’t be,” She said, her voice firm again, “both of you saved so many innocent lives. The funerals were a way for us to honor your sacrifices. We are forever indebted to you.”

“I wish I coulda’ been there for Buck’s…” Steve shook his head, grief palpable on his face.

“You were a bit preoccupied, Steve,” Peggy said gently, resting her hand on his knee, “he would have understood.”

“I know. I know,” he sighed, “I just wish…” He trailed off, putting his face in his hands.

A few minutes passed in silence, Peggy still next to him with her hand on his leg, a small and comforting gesture that left him enough space to grieve for a moment. Then his entire body tensed, and he looked up. “What happened to the Tesseract?” He demanded, his voice incisive, with urgent undertones replacing any previous sorrow.

“Howard amused himself by throwing it around until he was lost, then spent a large amount of time cutting through ice to drop it to the bottom of the ocean. It’s far away enough from the plane, which Howard left buried in eight feet of snow and ice. It’s gone.”

Steve slumped back onto his heap of pillows. “Thank God,” he breathed.

“Howard took your death quite hard. It was crucial to him that you didn’t die in vain.”

“I’ll have to thank him for that, won’t it?”

“He’s right outside, I believe, if he hasn’t been sidetracked by one of those nurses,” she informed him, smiling faintly.

“I owe him my life,” Steve said, “and he protected my sacrifice.” He laughed. “What a man.”

“Never underestimate Howard Stark,” Peggy agreed quietly.

***

“Visiting hours are now over,” the female nurse chirped, sticking her head through the doorway, blushing when Howard devilishly winked at her.

“Don’t worry, Steve,” Howard said offhandedly, standing up. “We’ll be back first thing tomorrow to pick you up. I was chatting with your doctors outside. You’re pretty healthy for a guy who’s been dead for a month and a half. They just want to keep you for a night then you’re free to go in the morning.”

“First thing?” Steve repeated, his eyes on Peggy.

“First thing,” Peggy nodded.

“Don’t you dare be late.” He said seriously, despite his eyes were alight with humor.

Peggy rolled her eyes, bending down to kiss Steve passionately on the lips, giving in to the long-withstanding urge and making her feelings clearly known to them all. “You really shouldn’t doubt me, Steve.” She murmured, still close to his face. Then, while Steve sat there, stunned, she turned in her heel and stalked out of the room, her chin held high.

***TEN MONTHS, TWO WEEKS LATER***

“I hope I’m not too late,” Steve muttered to Peggy, his lips almost brushing against her forehead, as they swayed together to the soft tunes of music. The atmosphere in the room was slow and lethargic so late at night, even at the usually bouncing and upbeat Stork Club. The two remained some of the last on the dance floor in the gradually emptying club. They stood out, the tall, extremely muscled man in a nice-looking tux, with his arms around the striking English woman, adorned in a stunning red gown that swept the floor as she moved.

“Only by a year,” she whispered back, but with no malice in her words, “but better now than any later.”

“Good,” Steve smiled, bending down ever-so-slightly to kiss his partner. “Keep your eyes closed,” he instructed her gently when their lips had parted.

“Why?” She breathed, suspicion shooting through her instantly, although she obeyed his wish, feeling him step away from her. Her breathing accelerating as suspense consumed her, her lips twitching up into an inpatient smirk when he simply answered;

“Because.” Then, a moment later: “Open.”

“Please?” She teased.

“Please.” He replied, and Peggy could hear the amusement in his tone.

So she opened her eyes, and saw the one and only Steve Rogers kneeled on the floor in front of her, holding a beautiful silver ring in his hands.

“Peggy,” he began, love in his eyes, and his voice absolutely teeming with it, “my best girl.” Emotion made his voice crack. “You are my right partner.” Nervously, he smiled. “Marry me?”

An helpless, stupidly lovesick grin answered him first. She extended her hand, pulling him up and drawing him close, so that their noses almost touched. “Yes, darling. Of course I will.” She breathed, staring deep into his eyes just a moment before kissing him deeply, the two intertwined on the center of the dance floor, the heroes forgetting all the troubles in the world, and everything else in it, their moment forever cherished in their time.

***

Building their lives together proved no easy task, two independent people suddenly learning the meaning of codependence, something only made harder by Peggy’s demanding and dangerous job with the SSR, and Steve’s equally trying work and fame as a resurrected war hero.

But still, as the years passed, the two changed and grew together, their bond strengthening with the challenges of the various missions and adventures that came their way. Domestic life and quiet moments were treasured, but the days filled with excitement and adrenaline were always looked forward to. But whatever came their way could be dealt with, so long as the two had each other by their side.

Friends followed a similar path, bringing the couple great joy when Howard announced his engagement (they couldn’t help but to be smug about that), and under a year later, was married.

All seemed well until an innocent-seeming thank-you card arrived in the mail, a lovely thing handwritten by Maria herself (Howard had only cared enough to sign it, Peggy reasonably supposed). Inside the envelope, however, was a picture of Steve and Peggy, taken at the wedding. Steve’s arms were wrapped around her, and he gazed down at her lovingly, though her own focus was caught by something off to the side.

A soft smile graced Peggy’s face as she stared at the photo, studying it and recalling the night. Then, rather abruptly, a realization hit her, and she strode out of the hall and into their living room, snatching a framed photo off the mantle and holding the two side by side, as to compare them.

Peggy stood next to Steve, smiling widely and adorned in a beautiful lace dress, Steve in his military uniform. The day they got married, years ago.

The time showed on her face, now. She could see it in the new photo, a smile line here and there, even how she carried herself, weighed down by so many troubles of the world. She had changed.

But not Steve.

No aging showed on his face, his eyes remained untouched by time, his features preserved perfectly. He wouldn’t change, medically couldn’t grow older, even while she would, while their potential children would. He’d be frozen in time, and she would be lost to it.

“Peg?” A voice behind her asked gently.

“You haven’t changed. At all.” She said strangely, turning to face him. This bothered her, clearly, but she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. Did she mind getting older? Well, perhaps a little bit, but it certainly wasn’t something to make a fuss over. “Not since the serum, I don’t think.”

“Peggy- I-” He made his way across the room to her, setting down the photos and taking her hands in his. He took a deep breath, playing with her fingers for a moment as he thought, running a finger over her wedding band. “I don’t care how you look, or even how I look.” A small smile crossed his face, tinged with sadness. “So long as we’re together.” Leaning down, he kissed the side of her face. “Is that okay with you?”

Absentmindedly, she nodded, still disturbed but willing to wait for whatever the future held.

***

“She was shot six times,” the doctor explained patiently, “twice in her right arm, once by her sternum, above her heart, and twice again in her stomach. She’s lost a lot of blood, and we believe there may be damage to her heart and arteries.”

The middle-aged man delivered this news simply, calmly, as if he were sharing the day’s weather or a boring bit of news. As if it didn’t matter. As if it weren’t a potential death sentence for Steve’s wife.

“So what do we do next?” Steve asked, his arms crossed and disposition strong even while his voice was meek, made timid by the destroying news. Next to him, Howard rubbed his forehead, making a small noise, perhaps one of grief.

Now, the doctor hesitated. “Surgery is a very risky option. Her heart is weak, it would very likely give out during any operation. There’s not much we can do.”

“And without surgery?”

“Her chances aren’t good either way. I’m sorry, Mr. Rogers. We can make her comfortable, but her heart will likely fail in a couple of days.” The man ran his fingers through greying hair. “If there’s anything I can do for you, please, let me know.” With that, he exited the room, leaving the two men to face the horrible reality.

“Damn it!” Howard burst, springing up from the worn hospital chair. “This isn’t right,” he seethed, beginning to pace, “I’m sorry, Steve.” He said to his friend, who had buried his face into his hands. “I’m sorry, it was supposed to be a simple job, just a coupla’ thugs with some bad ideas.” He closed his eyes, running his fingers through his hair. “‘cept there were more than a couple… she shouldna’ been alone.”

Steve too, closed his eyes, bowing his head, searching for something to say, anything to reassure Howard, or maybe himself.

But nothing could do that.

He stood up, and walked out.

“Peggy.”

Her eyes opened slowly, meeting his. “Steve,” she murmured, just barely managing a smile. He reached out, taking her hand and grasping it firmly. “What’s happened?” She asked, wincing as she did so, for even the smallest movement pained her. Moving his chair closer, Steve prepared himself to deliver the awful news.

Pain showed clearly in both of their eyes, physical agony in Peggy’s and an emotional hell erupting in Steve’s, but still he carefully chose his words and began to speak.

“Too many thugs,” he said, trying for a smile, but any expression of joy on his face felt entirely too foreign, and any cheer quickly slid from his face, “or at least that’s what Howard said.”

“So I recall. Those bastards,” she mused, “there are five wounds, I believe?”

“Six,” Steve corrected her gently, and on that word, his voice broke, turning away from his wife, unable to meet her eyes, to face Peggy and her suddenly inevitable fate.

“Steve?” She asked, concern immediately lacing both her tone and features. “What is it?”

“There’s nothing they can do,” he delivered the news bluntly, hating his words but unable to sugarcoat them, “your heart is too weak.”

“I’m going to die?” She inhaled sharply, looking away from Steve. He nodded, squeezing her hand, Peggy’s presence the only thing that could possibly comfort him. The despair and heavy weight began to set in as they sat in silence for several long, torturous moments.

Finally, she turned to him, a smile cracking through her tears. “I do love you.”

“Love you too.” He whispered back.

***

“Hey!” Howard’s loud voice disturbed the quiet peace of the room, “Uh- sorry,” he focused on something out the window, incapable of eye contact with either of his friends, standing in the doorway awkwardly as he talked. “Steve, listen, I have an idea I need to discuss with you-”

“I’m a little busy right now if you don’t mind.” The captain cut in coolly, not even moving from his chair next to Peggy, or bothering to spare him a glance. Howard shrunk back slightly, but yet he persisted.

“I know, but I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important, would I?”

Steve glowered, his brow pinching together, until Peggy squeezed his hand. “You can leave my side, Steve. I’ll be quite alright.”

He looked between her and Howard before making his decision and standing, joining the genius outside, closing the door with a click.

“So I’ve been thinking- you’ve been shot, right?”

***

“I’ve got it!” Howard half shouted, sprinting into the room.

Lying helplessly in bed, the dying woman stirred feebly. Sitting in a chair next to her was Steve, who eyed Howard with something like hope beginning to shimmer in his eyes, wondering if their plan had worked.

“An injection,” he continued, “this could save you, Peg!” he told her as she woke fully, gazing dimly at Howard in her dying haze, still clutching Steve’s hand, though her grip was now weak and failing.

“What have you done now?” she uttered faintly.

“A serum replication.” The inventor and scientist said excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he entered the room, striding in and standing at the foot of her bed. “I’m going to save your life.”

“And you’re sure this’ll work?” Her husband asked, the sanguine energy spreading to him too, though he didn’t dare to attach fully to this hope.

“95% sure. And the doctors are on board too, so we can start as soon as they all arrive.”

“What the bloody hell is going on?” Even in her deteriorating state, the agent commanded their respect and attention in an instant, the two boys twisting around to look at her, suddenly like children caught by their mother doing something naughty.

“Howard used my blood to recreate the serum-” Steve explained calmly, as if this weren’t an illegal crime.

“An improved one, mind you- suited to your femaleness-”

“Project Insight is closed.” Peggy’s voice was disapproving, even with the weakness behind it.

“Well, they can arrest me once it works.” Howard moved closer to her, “Are you ready?”

“We are.” Peggy’s doctor said, leading a group of doctors into the room.

“Is this really rational?” The patient demanded, angrily looking at the men congregated around her.

“Peggy, you’re dying,” Steve said determinedly, “this is the only way.”

“This my life!” She protested, “and none of you even told me-”

“We didn’t want to get your hopes up-”

“You’re going to die without it, Peggy.” Howard reminded her, frowning down at her. “Are you going to die fighting, or just give up?”

Raising her chin, she noticed Steve beside her, his eyes glistening with tears, desperation still clear on his face, though he seemed to be trying to hide it. “Well, if that’s a challenge- to die fighting, that is- then I accept. But if I die-” she spoke to Steve now, “then you move on.” He shook his head, against her words already, “if,” she pressed on, “you get back up, and you keep fighting, you understand? Will you do?”

Tears sliding down his face, Steve leaned over her and kissed her, lingering and soft. “Don’t just mope around,” she instructed him when their lips parted, “you’re more than that.”

“I love you.”

She smiled at him, one last time. Then to Howard, she said:

“Do it.”

So he injected the serum.

Immediately, the effects of the inoculation took place. Her body twitched and seized. A horrible, moaning scream penetrated the room. Steve watched, horrified but unable to look away as his wife convulsed on the bed.

Almost a full minute passed before the fit ended, leaving her body with a sigh of air. Peggy Carter slumped back against the pillows, completely limp as all fight left her.

***

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and accomplishments of Peggy Carter, a remarkable woman who dedicated her life to justice and fighting for what’s right, even when that fight proved not to be easy.

"Even before she became the first female super soldier, Peggy proved she could hold her own, both in the war and after it. It is because of her perseverance and bravery, no matter the circumstances, that we honor her tonight.”

Grinning ear to ear, Steve looked at Peggy sitting next to him. She smiled back, leaning into his shoulder.

“At what point tonight do we dance?” She whispered in his ear.

“Anytime you like,” He promised, and this date, he would keep.

anonymous asked:

I was a little angry at Mary, but then he said "my boys" including Cas and I forgave her ❤ 12x12 has me with my heart in my throat

I think there are a lot of mixed feelings about Mary after this episode. I still love her, and the portrayal of her in the show, because I totally understand what the writers are trying to do with her character. I have decided to use your ask to voice my opinion on the current “Mary debate”. Hope you don’t mind. 12x12 also had me choking on my own heart nonny! I am with you there.

Before this season Mary has always been this fantasy figure of motherly perfection to the boys - specifically Dean. They put her high on a pedestal as a symbol of the life they were robbed of. Not to mention the fact that she was framed as “Mother Mary” the holy mother of Christ prior to this season. She was always this perfect “ideal mother” who could do no wrong. Yes we learned of her back story as a Hunter and how she met John but ultimately the “young Mary” story is still separate from the Mary of the pilot and the Mary in the photograph that pulled Dean back from the brink among other things. She was always framed from Dean’s POV as the perfect mother figure. 

So to bring her back to life, to give a life and story and personality to the original fridged woman who has been sat on a pedestal all these years? Its fucking amazing is what it is. You NEED to tear down that “holier than thou” image of her. Of course she isn’t gonna be what her sons expect. Of course she is gonna struggle to adjust. Of course she is gonna make dodgy choices (because she wouldn’t be a Winchester if she didn’t).  She is FINALLY being portrayed a a real person with flaws and problems and I am lapping it up. Women aren’t fucking perfect. They can be a million different things but never perfect. Perfect is boring. If you’re character is perfect, then they aren’t really a character at all. 

If I was writing the show, I would write her pretty much exactly how they are writing her. I would write her struggle to accept that her babies are grown up, that they are still hunters, that her perfect life that she desired from a young age was robbed from her by the same demon that killed her parents. The only thing that pisses me off about the shows version of Mary isn’t even Mary’s fault, its the stupid fucking format of having to make side characters disappear every couple of episodes because for some reason having them pottering around in the Bunker whilst Sam and Dean work a generic MOTW case isn’t a good enough excuse. 

At the same time I get that she has turned back to hunting for a distraction to her pain. Because she is still a woman mourning the loss of her children. She missed them grow up, she doesn’t get to hold baby Sammy in her arms and kiss Dean on the forehead goodnight anymore. (My mum tells me she misses me all the goddamn time. She misses her little girl like she is mourning me because I am a 30 year old woman living away from home and see her every couple of weeks. My mum still hasn’t quite accepted that I have grown up. But at least she got to experience it.) Mary has been robbed of that. Hell, Sammy was only just 6 months old. She was probably still breast feeding him when she died. Imagine having that ripped away from you?

I wish they explored her pain in more depth, but I get where they are going with it. She has turned to the BMOL because they have given her a promise, to rid the world of the monsters that stole her life from her. They have given her focus, because clearly the shoving your problems down and ignoring them and throwing yourself into work is a genetic Winchester/Campbell Gene. Could she have done more to save Cas? Yes. She could have given up the Colt if it would have saved Cas’s life. It was their only shot, and she chose wrong. I don’t quite forgive her for that but I wanna see where they take her story. She is traumatised by what has happened to her, and not thinking clearly. She is our season 6 Cas parallel as well lets not forget, and in her mind she is doing the right thing. That doesn’t excuse her, but then Cas actively put Sam’s life in danger too… and a lot of people hated him for it at the time (and still do sadly).

Mary did indeed call Cas one of her boys at the end there. I think perhaps by that point the whole situation had sunken in more. She knows how much her sons care for him, how they view him as a brother (and spouse) and after recent events I think she has realised just how important Cas is. She connected with Cas, and also there is probably some residual guilt there from not handing over the Colt at the time.

We just need to see where her story goes. Honestly I see it going the way of 6x20 and beyond. But then again this is supposed to be a re-write of season 6 rather than just a hard copy with different characters. I expect Mary to come to her senses and do what Cas never did in season 6, because I expect that Dean (and Sam) would have learned from that mistake and make an effort to resolve the situation. Communication is a key theme this season so hopefully this will come into play in later episodes. We can only wait and see.

Why I ship darus

Okay first things first I’m writing this at about midnight and just can’t get my mind off of it so if this doesn’t make a lot of sense well I’m sorry. Second of all, i don’t really need to explain why darus is my life but this is more just some back story as to why i would want this to be canon –and even if it won’t then I will still love twd–

So my main and number 1 reason for shipping darus is because of Daryl’s backstory. We know he is from Georgia which is a southern state, we also know southern states are notorious for being homophobic/racist (not saying all are, I’m saying thats where you’d typically think to find them). So with this we can imply that his father was most likely both of those things and not to mention a drunk asshole who abused both Daryl and Merel. We still don’t know why he abused them, it could just be that he was an abusive father but I think that it’s something more than that especially with Daryl. I think that Daryl’s dad thought Daryl was gay from his lack of being sexual with women. We know this from his encounters with Carol, but I do believe most of the beating were because he thought Daryl was gay. Then we get to the fact that Merel had always questioned Daryl’s masculinity calling him “Darlene” ect. We already know Merel is racist, at least a little from season 1, so we can also guess he would be homophobic again based off of where they are. This all in mind now we get to the biggest turn of events, I believe Daryl is asexual and demiromantic. Woah I know big twist but let me explain. Daryl has never been sexual with anyone, at least not that we’ve seen, and he’s never -really- been romantic with anyone either. This is where the asexual comes from and the demiromantic comes from the fact that he never really got a connection with anyone again at least that we have seen. But as time goes on he’s starting to grow closer and closer to Jesus. Yes this sorta happened with Beth but him and Beth were forced together, he choses to be around Jesus (that or Jesus forces him but then again he could just leave in that case) and he seems to look at Carol as the mother he technically had but lost at a young age. With that being said I think that if he does like Jesus romantically he was taught by his family that it was wrong and that he shouldn’t and that he would have a rather rough time coming to conclusions with it himself. With his backstory and what I think his sexuality is, I 100% think that he likes Jesus in more of a romantic way than a platonic way, and that because of the way he was raised and the lack of sexual desire he doesn’t know how to express it. There’s a lot more detail I could go into but I’m pretty sure you get the gist of it.

My second reason and probably not as good as my first is the chemistry between them and the richonne parallels. It’s obvious these boys both have trust issues and both feel useless when they don’t have something to do. They have so much in common with each other that they both have yet to learn about (broken families, past relations ships *platonic and romantic* ect.). With that they are also two completely different people that i’m pretty sure it’s impossible to be that different. I’m pretty sure you’re all like how tf is that a reason to ship them and well I’ll tell you why. This just shows that they are going to grow and need each other to help themselves and the other grow and learn to move on/get passed certain things. Both of them are very stubborn so it’s gonna take awhile but if they were to get into a relationship i fully with everything in me believe that they would help each other cope and grow into stronger people even more then already. We know Daryl is at a rough spot and Jesus can definitely help him with time and a lot of patience. Not to mention that during that time Daryl would also help Jesus to learn to trust more and open up. They would be such a good couple for each other it physically pains me i stg. And the richonne parallels are kinda self explanatory but definitely what made me start shipping them to begin with.

So i could go on with a few more reasons but these are really the reasons and theories that make me ship darus and hope that the writers make it canon. Again no matter what happens I love the show and even if darus never happens I will still love Jesus and Daryl and continue watching. I just think with all of this plus the added fact of how awkward and raw the relationship would be would just make it feel even more like real life then before. Sorry for making this really long and hey if you still don’t ship it thats cool too dude. And also again sorry if this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but to me my reasons are very clear and hopefully some of you get it too, especially the first one because i don’t think I did a good job explaining it even tho it’s the longest of the reasons. Anyways have a lovely Darus filled night - Max