i hope this one is even better

Noticing and appreciating improvement with BPD

Today in therapy I learned something that completely blew my mind, so maybe it’s just me but I thought I’d share🙂

I have BPD and I started getting good treatment nearly exactly one year ago. Today we talked about what changed, what got better, what improved. And as I thought about it and we talked I realized that I cut down cigarettes from 35 to 10 a day and I got from cutting almost every day to once every 6-8 weeks. But I did not see that. What I saw was that I still cut and I still smoke. Which is right, but I beat myself up about it without being proud of myself for improving even if I’m not where I want to be yet.

I hope that this makes any fucking sense at all, I have trouble putting it in words.
I mean, I know that depressive episodes will probably belong to my life forever. So I have to start giving myself credit for getting through it alive and managed to cope without hurting myself instead of blending that out and focusing on that I was depressive again, I was suicidal again. Yeah, I was. And I probably will be again. But I definitely improved in getting through it in a healthier way than i used to.

My therapist was so so excited as I realized that and finally allowed myself to see the good in the bad. I needed my time for that. But maybe someone reads and can realte☺ hope y'all have a good day!❤

Rough is better (Roman Bürki smut)

Originally posted by piszczu

Hello everyone! I’m finally posting this request after weeks of waiting. I’m sorry, school got in the way and I don’t even know how I managed to post this today lol. Anyway, it’s my first smut and it kinda sucks, so I’m sorry! Hope you enjoy it anyway and thank you for requesting dear anon!! :-) (also, I’m pretty sure there is some grammar mistake, I’ll correct it later.)

Roman was behind annoyed.

He loves his brother and he’s really happy that he proposed to his long time girlfriend, but he wished he hadn’t choosen that evening to celebrate the event with a party. First of all, Borussia lost that afternoon’s match, so Roman was mad at himself for not being able to keep a clean sheet. Y/n had sensed that his mood wasn’t at its best, so she decided to blow him off to help him relieve some stress right before they headed for the party, which he thought was a great idea.

Here comes problem number two; his brother Marco called on the phone right in the middle of his blow job telling him that they were too late and that they were waiting for them to start the party. So he went to the party with a boner, which he hoped that would go away as soon as possible, but it didn’t. Luckily he was wearing dark pants, so it wasn’t that visible. Plus Y/n didn’t help at all; she didn’t do anything to get him worked up, it was just the fact that she looked so damn good in that blue navy mini-dress, it fitted her silhouette in the right places, underlining the curves he loves to death and making him wish he could rip that dress off of her.

After spending the evening talking to relatives he didn’t even remember and sipping on expensive champagne as the two love birds celebrated their engagement, he was in the car with Y/n on their way to their home. She looked over at him; his eyes focused on the road ahead, his jaw was clenched and he held on the wheel so much that the muscles on his arm became more prominent.

Keep reading

Dear cukizilla,

I’ve always been a lover of science, but I hadn’t considered going into forensics until the incident with Lana happened.  That’s when I realized I could use my passion to benefit other people, and possibly even save lives.

Whatever inspires you to explore this thrilling field of science, or even a completely different one, I hope you’re able to use it for the betterment of society in some way.  Scientifically speaking, of course.

-Ema Skye

randomkawaiime  asked:

Oh no, I hope you feel better. Rebuilding yourself is a great way to get up again even if its something you're scare of to do. I hope you know we're all here for you. Stay positive and don't get the worst get you. Have a nice day! ❤ -Random

Positivity is seriously the one thing I’m focusing on, because I know things will get better in the end but I’ve got to stay positive to get there

anonymous asked:

Generally, how would you describe Mofftiss's relationship with their fans? I haven't been in this fandom long, but I've seen mixed responses. On one hand, there are many people, even those in TJLC, who defends them as great writers, which admittedly they are (excluding TFP). However, given their history, and from what I've read, I've also heard that they can also be quite rude and malice? Especially to fans who asks about Johnlock 😐 Thanks Steph! Hope you're feeling better :)

Hey Nonny!

Well, I can’t speak from personal experience – I have never met them – so I cannot speak with absolute certainty. But from what I understand, as long as you avoid Johnlock and essentially stroke their egos, they like discussing things with you and are rather pleasant. Though, I believe there have been instances of rudeness when a queer reading of the show is brought up, but again, everything I know is probably about what you have seen as well. I think I read that there was a really not-good instance at the TFP screening to a Johnlocker, iirc… so yeah.

My PERSONAL belief? That they love having fans but they don’t like that said fans have their own opinions about their series… they want us to essentially be fed what they give us and accept it.

BUT I’ve never met them, so I cannot say. Anyone who has met them or been to any screenings, please feel free to add your experiences.

And Thank you Nonny, I am feeling much better! I think my headache has FINALLY gone away.

anonymous asked:

I've been puking my guts out for 3 days now. Any fic recommendations where Mulder takes care of a sick Scully, vice versa or one another while they're sick??

Sorry to hear that anon, hope you feel better soon! My recommendation for you is flat lemonade. 

As for fic, good question, and now my mind has gone blank. I wrote a couple based on prompts:

https://amorfati3215.tumblr.com/post/146668659594/if-youre-still-taking-prompts-can-you-do-one/embed

http://amorfati3215.tumblr.com/post/149363914144/can-you-continue-the-story-where-mulder-cares-for/embed

There’s also Chicken Soup by @leiascullyhttps://archiveofourown.org/works/10832352 

Scully isn’t puking here, but she’s just been shot in Increments by @dashakay and Mulder takes care of her (even if it’s not what you’re looking for you should read this anyway!) http://fluky.gossamer.org/author/10036-1.html 

Lost and found lists these fics - http://lostandfoundfaq.xphilefic.com/sickfic.txt - but I don’t think I’ve ready many of these. Perhaps my fellow Tumblr peeps can help and recommend some?

05.27.17

Saturday, but not rest day. Woke up early for a yoga session. I’m going to get weights in either later today or tomorrow. The rest of the weekend I’m not planning on working out so much as just being active. The kids’ dad is taking them to the fireman’s 5k while I go to work today and they will be with me the rest of the weekend. The weather is apparently going to be crappy but I’m hoping for at least one nice day so we can go to the park. If it would be hot enough to go swimming that would be even better. Keeping my fingers crossed.

duckswearhats  asked:

Hi, I read that you've dealt with with impostor syndrome in the past, and I'm really struggling with that right now. I'm in a good place and my friends are going through a lot, and I'm struggling to justify my success to myself when such amazing people are unhappy. I was wondering if you have any tips to feel less like this and maybe be kinder to myself, but without hurting anyone around me. It's a big ask, I know, but any help would make my life a lot less stressful

The best help I can offer is to point you to Amy Cuddy’s book, Presence. She talks about Imposter Syndrome (and interviews me in it) and offers helpful insight.

The second best help might be in the form of an anecdote. Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.

On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”

And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”

And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.

(There’s a wonderful photograph of the Three Neils even if one of us was a Neal at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/08/neil-armstrong.html)

9

seokmin + MVs

↳ 1997.02.18 | happy birthday to the love & light of my life ☀️

[TRANS] BTS Festa 2014 - Post-its to BTS

V

“Hey V!
When hyung look at you, uh, my heart hurts so so much.
I said you just need to trust and follow hyung right?
Why don’t you know that ㅋㅋㅋ Be obedient ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Wanna gang up and fight off Suga-hyung? Deal?” - Jimin 

“Hey V…
What’s your next hair color?
I’m curious too.” - Suga 

“V, speak to the point and precisely.” - J-hope 

“V.
You’re the kind of kid that makes people love and hate at the same time.
You’re similar to me in many things but sometimes I can’t understand you… Be more obedient.
P.S. Am I weird too?” - Rap Monster 

“Be a human.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

“Taehyung.
I don’t mind you resting in my room when I’m not at the dorm but clean up after you go~ Let’s live cleanly at the dorm! You’re No.1 on my blacklist ㅋㅋ” - Manager 

J-HOPE 

“Hobi-hyungnim.
Hyung ㅋㅋㅋ I demand a duel with you and Suga-hyung ㅋㅋ Right now you guys think I’m cute but the day this table is turned will come soon. Wait a little bit more.” - Jimin 

“Hey Hope…
These days your variety sense is getting better.
It’s good.
But thanks to that it’s twice noisier too…” - Suga 

“Hobi-hyung.
You’re always hopeful and cheerful but I think you must go through hard times too. If you do, you can look for me and talk. I can listen to your stories. […]” - Jungkook 

“Hey J-hope.
I heard you saved my contact as ‘Kim Seokjin-hyung’.
It’s okay.
I saved yours as ‘Bighit Jung Hoseok’.” - Jin 

“You pervert… ㅡ ㅡ
For example when I’m playing games, don’t turn off the outlet.” -

“Hope.
Sometimes you’re earnest, sometimes you’re the laziest. Show the world more of your abilities.” - Rap Monster 

“Chief Jung who always work hard and look after BTS. Wait, now that you’re promoted, you became team leader Jung right? ㅎ I believe there’s no doubt you’ll get good reward and result with how hard you’ve worked. Let’s get promoted to President Jung!” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Team leader Jung who’s always very helpful! Thanks~” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

RAP MONSTER 

“Hey Rapmon, shower cleanly.” - J-hope 

“If you borrow something you have to return it back.” -

“Hey Rapmon…
These days you’re not snoring…
Thanks to that I’m sleeping peacefully.
Thank you…” - Suga 

“Hey Rapmon.
I don’t know if I adapted myself to your snoring or if your snoring got quieter, but I got used to it.
It’s fine, it’s all good.” - Jin 

“Rapmonie-hyung.
You must be tired from going through a lot for the 6 of us right. I’m sorry I can’t do anything for you. I’ll work harder so you’ll have less hard times.” - Jungkook 

“Moni-hyung.
You’ll stand by our side right? You will right? I like you a lot but nah, I think you’ll betray us ㅋㅋㅋ I’ll leave you out. It’s a coup d'état!! Kakakaka.” - Jimin 

“Go to the bathroom before we start practicing.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

SUGA 

“Suga-hyungnim, thank you for thinking I’m cute ㅎㅎ I’ll fight you off some day. I’m gathering the team for it. Just wait. From the coolest guy in BTS.” - Jimin 

“Syub-hyung.
Please be more obedient.
I know your childish inner self better than anyone else ^*^!” - Rap Monster 

“Hey Suga.
I like your lazinism. Really.
I feel at ease when I see you lying down.
Really.” - Jin 

“You only need to show a little bit of your lethargy.” -

“Suga-hyung.
You must be tired from working and composing until late at night. You don’t seem to gain any weight so please eat a lot. When […] I’ll buy it for you.” - Jungkook 

“SUGA fighting!!” - J-hope 

“To. Suga Rebel.
Old soul. Genius artist?
Thanks to you BTS can be BTS. I hope you can keep being that way and become a great artist!!
When will you write a title song? ㅋ” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Take care of your health when you’re still young.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JIN 

“Jjin-hyung~
You’re doing great.
Please show us the ✨eldest hyung✨ side of youㅡ
P.S. Thanks for your cooking! ^*^” - Rap Monster 

“Jin-hyung, please shave.” - J-hope 

“It’s too much if you know you’re handsome yourself.” -

“Jin-hyung…
Must be tired doing all the assignments for college right…?
You just need to avoid getting academic probation…
I’ll always support you.” - Suga 

“Jin-hyungnim.
Hyungnim T_T~ I’m going to fight off Syubsyubie-hyung and Hope-hyung but I need your help! If you’re there those people will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ㅋㅋㅋ So you have to help me!!!
The most handsome cook in BTS, Jin-hyung.” - Jimin 

“Jin-hyung. Thank you for making us many delicious dishes.” - Jungkook  

“To. Jin BTS’ shoulder-slash-eldest-hyung!
You always stay behind quietly but I know you are their mediator and their shoulder to lean on.
Maybe the day when you’re called Korea’s best actor will come soon too?^^” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Seokjin.
Thanks to your ability to cook tasty dishes from limited ingredients, I always get to eat deliciously~ Take care of me in the future too~” - Manager 

“Hoot…” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JIMIN 

“Hey Jimin…
Why do we stop growing so soon…” - Suga 

“Jiminie-hyung.
You’re having a hard time these days because of me right.
I’ll be more obedient.
Thank you.
Let’s work out together 3 years later ㅋ” - Jungkook 

“Jimin.
You know I love you right?
It’s no joke~” - J-hope 

“Don’t touch your thighs you pervert.” -

“To. Jimin
Hardworker, in charge of charm, Jiminie!! ♡
From someone who joined BTS the latest, you have now become an irreplaceable part of the team! Keeping working hard in the future too!! […] the saying that heaven will help hardworkers.” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Go to the bathroom early. Don’t go when we start.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JUNGKOOK 

“Jungkook…
Stop working out…
Let’s not work out with me…” - Suga 

“Hey Jungkook.
You listen to me well so you’re good.
This brat.
Good. But refrain from working out…” - Jin 

“Jungkooks~
Jungkook, I’m not pressuring you! I’m planning to kick out Suga-hyung and Hobi-hyung but I won’t pressure you to stand by my side. But I’m treating you really well!!! Right? Our kind and pretty Kookie…” - Jimin 

“Jungkook, you’re so good even at practicing. I think I need to learn more because of you too. But be more obedient~” -

“To. Jungkook
Golden maknae!! Is there any word that can describe better than this? ㅎ
I believe that if you are not settled with your natural talents, not hate doing repeated things and work with passion, there’s no doubt one day you’ll become the best singer in Korea!
Hope you will never forget your passion and effort!!” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“My manager. Once a manager, forever a manager.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

“Jungkook~
Wake up when I wake you in the morning! Sometimes I’m scared when no matter what I do, you still remain motionless like a stone stature. And sleep on your bed~! Don’t sleep in weird position on the floor too~!” - Manager

8

I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid it would open old wounds.

heartbreak chronicles {1} | M

 PT 1 | PT 2ONGOING

Contains: bad crack, smut {fuckboy!jimin}

Words: 10,164

Summary: Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well.

[img cr]

A/N: I tried out a “lighter” writing style for… whatever this is. Hope you guys like it! | This fic is based on the movie “John Tucker must die” | SUB!BTS COLLAB

The girl’s request echoed on the warm air of your living room, dancing on silence as your body was covered in shock. For an instant, you truly believed you had misheard her words, replacing them for something much more unrealistic. Regardless, as the quietude fell like a blanket over the two of you, you noticed, at last, that your friend could not be more serious. “You want me to do what?” You finally asked, flabbergasted.

The night had started normally — and that was all that you could ever wish for. All that you wanted was to rest after an exhausting week, merely putting your your pajamas and watching shallow TV shows until your tiredness forced you to go to sleep. You wanted to get some pizza and gossip with your roommate about the most frivolous of subjects, allowing for the storm of stress and unfinished projects to disperse from around your head.

However, she had a different idea of how that night would unfold. “We want you to break his heart,” Lisa told you with utter serenity, as if the words that had left her mouth were no more than mundane. “Thought that was quite clear.”

Keep reading

I think the fatal flaw in most of the characters on the tapes is that they are selfish. So, so, selfish. They are teenagers, so this comes as no surprise. Even Hannah. Justin wanted to keep his gf and bff, so he ignored what happened, Marcus wanted to keep his social standing, Courtney wasn’t ready for people to know she’s a lesbian, Alex used Hannah to get back and Jess and then didn’t refute it (in the locker room) because it made him look better, Ryan wanted his zine to be popular, Sheri wasn’t willing to face the consequences of her actions, Bryce took whatever he wanted (and can go and fucking die) etc. 

But one character on the tapes that was not selfish was Clay. When he first met Hannah, he was awkward and nervous but polite. At that moment in time, I think the most he hoped for was being friends with Hannah. As the show progressed, so did their friendship and it flowered into an almost-relationship. 

At that moment in Hannah’s life, even though she wanted to be happy, even though she wanted to be with Clay, she couldn’t. She couldn’t wash away what had happened to her in the past even though she knew that Clay wouldn’t hurt her like the others did. She knew he was kind and decent and so unselfish. But in the case of Clay, this unselfishness may have been his downfall. 

See, he wanted Hannah. So much. But he never pushed and always did what she asked. This made the audience love him, and also Hannah. But Hannah had been friends with him for what, a year? She would know that he is timid and shy, especially when it comes to girls. She knew that when she told him to leave, he would leave. It was completely selfish and mean of her to tell Clay on the tapes that she wished he didn’t go. Did she not think that that would tear him apart?

Anyways, back to Clay. If Clay had been a little more selfish in that scene, like we saw when he said what he wished he had said, that could have made all the difference. If Hannah had known that just one person was on her side, I don’t think she would have killed herself. I really don’t. If Clay had been selfish for just a moment and had said, “No, I’m not going to leave until you tell me what’s going on,” like he wished he did, I truly believe Hannah would still be alive.

Listen. It wasn’t like she showed up in my life and changed anything and everything. She did not put this mangled wreck of pieces back together and things were not even close to being magically better when she walked right into my life. What she did do, was she made me feel safe. She made me feel smart and beautiful and finally like I had some worth. She made me hopeful– for a better life… a better future. She made me want things I never knew I wanted. This isn’t some heroic love story where she saves me– it’s one where she makes me want to save myself.
—  5/15/17

anonymous asked:

Why do you hate ereri?????

there’s this ship

They met a long time ago. 

Back before the hell began. 

Even when it began, it remained. 

It was hardened by trials of fire and flame and smoke, dry and cracking burnt flesh and bone. 

But it survived. 

It survived because two beautiful souls, troubled and trying to be moral, but living in a harsh reality in which sacrifices must be made for freedom, for hope, and that includes lives and ethics 

they know one another better than anyone else. they know one another so well they cast aside any pretense of social or physical distance.

they have their own language. 

they share the same dream. 

Other people see it. 

One character himself. 

Has even commented. On the fact that they have their “own language.” 

They’ve been through a lot together. 

They love each other. They support one another. 

Their dream means something. It carries the entire manga. The ENTIRE manga is based on THIS moment 


I looked into your eyes and saw I wasn’t free.

I was born into this world. 

The world? 

Which you didn’t see until

Ok. 

Platonic or not. 

There is no denying there is a great love there. 

Something truly beautiful that draws on friendship and intimacy so casual, so normal that neither even thinks about it as strange. It’s as unremarkable as breathing, like sharing lungs, a heart. He inhales, the other exhales. 

A relationship you’ve seen before, but never like this. 

Not like this. 

And yet. 

The attack on titan fandom. 

In its wisdom and literary comprehension. 

Originally posted by sans-trash01

Decides this is the canon ship. 

This is the ship we should praise.

this is the relationship with the most heart, depth, and reality. 

This is our most beautiful, meaningful, and most popular relationship. 

This one. 

And this one?

Well. 

Whatever, I guess. 

Why I hope Elriel is just a friendship, nothing more:

As Mor said- Azriel deserves better.

He’s pined after a female he can never have for five hundred years. When he finds out, it’ll rip his heart out.

Azriel deserves more than another male’s Mate. Even if it turns out Elain and Lucien aren’t perfect for each other- even if it’s one of those failed chances of fate. He’s loved too quietly and too fiercely for too long. His life has been too wretched to not have the perfect happily-ever-after.

He deserves a Mate of his own, not the Mate of another. He deserves what Rhys found with Feyre, what Cassian will find with Nesta, and what Amren might have found with Varian.

He. Deserves. More.

Miraculous Headcanon

Warning: i have been adding to this headcanon for nearly a month so it is pretty long xD OOPS SORRY NOT SORRY (i did put a cut though, so, yeah) NO REGRETS

  • Marinette is a youtuber
  • Her channel consists of mostly sped up videos of her drawing designs and making her designs. Some have voice over, some have soothing and relaxing music.
  • Her channel blew up
  • Partially because, wow, she’s really talented for only being in high school
  • And people just really enjoyed watching her work, it’s very unique
  • Sometimes she’ll do simple tutorials on how to make a simple skirt, or get started on designing, but those are more rare videos
  • She has a second channel that is less professional than her main, where she posts a bunch of random vlogs that her and Alya take whenever they do something interesting, or even some random challenges. Most of these videos involve Alya, since she got Marinette to make a second channel for fun vlogs
  • Her international followers (#subtitles) find it very interesting anytime she talks about Ladybug and Chat Noir because there are legit superheroes in Paris and no other part of the world has seen that.
  • They vlog all sorts of things
    • going to the craft store for new fabrics, buttons, patterns, literally anything Marinette needs for her next project (or they’re just bored)
    • They record random things they see around Paris, cosplayers of LB and CN, pigeons being weird, aesthetics
    • Alya and Marinette have a weekly “review” which includes Alya buying something for Marinette to review- mostly themed around her favorite heroes
    • Sometimes just walking around the mall. Nino is spotted in many vlogs as well, but Adrien is rarely seen since he is already around so many cameras in his normal life Marinette is respecting his privacy
  • A lot more below the cut because I have been working on this headcanon for nearly a month!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Steve said that Louis' been writing with different writers & artists, and we've seen that's been in both in LA & London, from different genres and outside of the usual Syco/Sony circle. It makes me even more curious. His album is going to be so interesting and I don't expect it to be all in the EDM/dance space. I would love to hear him do all sounds and genres, (incl ballads) especially the ones he grew up with, with the ones he loves to listen to now too. I'm so excited for Louis' solo music!!

L.I.S.T.E.N. I am SO CURIOUS.  because like…Louis’ incredibly smart, right?  Like he even said the reason he put out JHO was because he saw a hole in that style of music and knew he could fill it.  and I feel like he also knows that EDM artists don’t typically put out full albums since most tunes are so of the moment.  I feel like he will mix it up, you know?  and there better be a ballad on there!! 

I was talking with someone earlier today and the one thing I know for sure is that his lyrics are going to be so spot on and full of hope.  I feel like whatever genre it is, it’ll be very uplifting.  

A FULL ALBUM OF JUST LOUIS’ VOICE.  WE LIVE IN A BLESSED TIME.