Noticing and appreciating improvement with BPD
Today in therapy I learned something that completely blew my mind, so maybe it’s just me but I thought I’d share🙂
I have BPD and I started getting good treatment nearly exactly one year ago. Today we talked about what changed, what got better, what improved. And as I thought about it and we talked I realized that I cut down cigarettes from 35 to 10 a day and I got from cutting almost every day to once every 6-8 weeks. But I did not see that. What I saw was that I still cut and I still smoke. Which is right, but I beat myself up about it without being proud of myself for improving even if I’m not where I want to be yet.
I hope that this makes any fucking sense at all, I have trouble putting it in words.
I mean, I know that depressive episodes will probably belong to my life forever. So I have to start giving myself credit for getting through it alive and managed to cope without hurting myself instead of blending that out and focusing on that I was depressive again, I was suicidal again. Yeah, I was. And I probably will be again. But I definitely improved in getting through it in a healthier way than i used to.
My therapist was so so excited as I realized that and finally allowed myself to see the good in the bad. I needed my time for that. But maybe someone reads and can realte☺ hope y'all have a good day!❤