a while back someone made a post about how arya has “internalised misogyny” since arya thinks catelyn wouldn’t want her back because she’s not feminine enough. i didn’t contribute at the time but i’ve been thinking about it and it’s just such a simplified interpretation of how arya is thinking and feeling
i remember the op was saying how arya believes that she is less valuable as a woman because she isn’t traditionally feminine like sansa, which would translate to internalised misogyny, but this isn’t really the case. arya doesn’t think that she is somehow lesser because she isn’t good at sewing, she knows that the world thinks that she is lesser. this, and of course the bullying, is where her insecurities come from. she’s not struggling with her own misogyny, she’s struggling with it in the world. this has been the point, like, the whole time. why would arya’s idol be princess nymeria if arya thought it was ‘bad’ to be a leader and a warrior.
arya thinks catelyn won’t want her back because catelyn valued all the things that arya wasn’t good at (and was therefore bullied by septa mordane, sansa and jeyne poole). this is shown again when arya thinks of sansa. she thinks: “i’ll kiss her and beg her pardons like a proper lady, she’ll like that.” the key phrase here is: “she’ll like that.” arya isn’t saying she would do this because she thinks its the better way to behave or whatever, but because sansa thinks it is. all of arya’s insecurities and doubts are rooted in her feelings about her family’s (i.e. sansa’s and catelyn’s) values, and not her own. she is trying to be herself and please her family at the same time.