my roommate for next year is like……..a christian punk…….Like she has a bunch of piercings and tattoos but all her tattoos are like…..bible verses………i’m very excited 2 learn more……….i wonder if she smokes weed
Hello! I finally got over my jet lag (i think)! I had a great time back in my hometown, Manila! ^o^ ♥
I had lots of fun and also lots of rest and I feel so refreshed (and also kind of sad because I miss my relatives and my dog…and the food) –
Now that I think about it – being back here in New York in winter feels
so much sadder because of the gloomy surroundings ((compared to the
colorful and lively neighborhood back home – it’s been 2 years since I
was able to visit Manila aahh)) /////
anyway, here are some photos from our flight stopover in Taiwan Taoyuan Airport!
Thank you so much for your well wishes everyone, I really appreciate it! I hope to upload lots of new art starting next week (and will resume working on that MM art book♥)
I couldn’t do 707 Route while I was there, I had no mobile internet and the WiFi everywhere was super slow ;;v;; Now that I’m back, I still can’t do the route because the app won’t let me change my time zone (it still doesn’t recognize Daylight Savings Time)!!! //cries because now I won’t be able to play the new update hhHHHNNN
Also – my fave photo of all (it’s me beside a mirror) vvvvvvvvvvvvv
@therealjacksepticeye: Seán, thank you for giving me one of the best birthdays ever. I didn’t even tell you my name (Jenn) and I feel like I didn’t get to properly convey just how important it was for me to meet you, nor did I get to tell even a fraction of my story, (hence why I wrote a letter). Your positive outlook on life has inspired me to be a better person, both towards myself and others. It is my hope that if I get a chance to meet you again next year, I’ll be in much better physical condition and won’t need a cane to walk.
Also, I’m so sorry that you’re sick with the PAX Plague and I hope you have a speedy recovery from it!
A/N: I missed writing Dean, so this happened :) Hope y’all enjoy! Let me know ^^
Five Years Old There is a new kid in your
kindergarten class. He’s quiet, has freckles all about his tiny face, and wide
green eyes. He stands next to the teacher as she introduces him to everyone and
you smile widely when you realize that the only open seat in the classroom is
the one next to you.
A new friend and you’re thrumming
with excitement as he takes his seat next to you.
So happy to see that BTS are enjoying Chicago in peace!!! I’ve been upset for a few weeks because I couldn’t afford tickets to see BTS in Chicago this year, but today I went downtown to the art institute to gather info for a research paper for school and I almost physically ran into V in the doorway next to “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte” I apologized quickly and he glanced at me and tilted his head, i saw Rapmon too (: They seemed to really enjoy the art and i saw them taking a couple of pictures on their phones. Hope they get to come to Chicago more often (:
*note: i did not approach or follow them after this because i didn’t want to invade their privacy*
*note pt. 2: thEY ARE SO MUCH TALLER IN PERSON THAN I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE HOLY LORD*
Summary: Through mysterious circumstances, you find yourself exchanging letters with a man who lived 70 years in the past.
Word Count: 1,404
A/N: I’m in love with this idea, and I hope you all like it. Thank you to the beautiful Bella for reading this over for me @thenightmarebeforebucky. And to my angel, Lyds, for always being there to plan things out with me @khaleesinarylfiel.
The last boxes were packed,
everything you had called your life neatly wrapped in cardboard, all of it
labeled, ready to be moved wherever you would call your next home. Giving a
soft sigh, you stood by the threshold of the apartment you had called your own
for the last five years and smiled. It was all bittersweet. Excited for
something new, you knew you were taking a step forward into your future, your
happiness. Yet you couldn’t help but to feel a little sad at leaving this tiny
place that had seen you cry, laugh, despair, and even fall in love with the man
you now called your fiancé.
Before you was what you had made
the common living room. It used to house your first set of furniture, the one
you had bought after saving for months, after sitting on lawn chairs you had
picked up from a yard sale when you had first moved into the city. But this
room was empty now, the light from the setting sun coming in through the window
and you could see the dust swirling through the air.
1/ Life isn’t about school. I was bullied for years, it was awful and I will never leave my past behind to be someone remarkably self-confident. School’s a big piece of your lifetime but still, it’s only a piece of it. Most of the time, you will never meet your classmates again after you finished high school.
2/ Don’t give to people who didn’t believe in you a reason to think they were right. Prove them how much they’ve been mistaken about you.
3/ You aren’t stuck in a place forever. If you are sick to stay in the same town then move out. The world is big, you can go anywhere for a short or a long time and you can start again somewhere nobody knows you. It’s not an easy choice but it can be great, promised. There is a lot of ways to travel for nothing. If you can’t move out now, you can at least start to plan something or to dream about it.
4/ My family deserved to know. I was in bad terms with my parents, I nerver told anyone how much I was suffering at school. Maybe I was to proud to tell them, maybe it was the only way I found to convince me I was okay cause I didn’t ask for help. I knew I was strong but I didn’t know how broken I was.
5/ If you want to live in a better world, how would it be? Many times, I met people who fought for rights, like I did in different ways. They inspired me and gave me some hope. Cause even if there are a lot of stuffs not going well, there will always be some of us to stand up against bullshit. I felt useful when I spent time with them to fight. It was also intellectually rewarding.
6/ You maybe know what you will leave but you never know what you will miss. What will happen in next few days, months or years? You can think it’s better this way but based on what? The future is unpredictable.
7/ What are you attached to? I like the rain, the storm, the clouds. Looking at the leaves of trees moving with the wind or to walk outside alone at night looking at the stars. I want to rescue a dog from a shelter when I will have my place. Nobody can stop me from doing these things.
8/ You can build new relationships every day. New or future colleague, bestfriend, girl-/boy-/enby-friend. I’ve found my soulmate when I was 25 yo, every time I think about my past suicidal thoughts, I’m glad I’m still alive.
9/ As a spoonie, I never wanted to give up. I was depressed long before I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. My chronic illness is a source of anxiety and ask me a lot of energy to stay “able” but I will always do all I can till I can’t.
10/ Learn something new every day. It was my leitmotiv for a long time, you don’t need to know why you are here, at least, try to find smart ways to spend your time, it will never be lost. Your future self will thank you for.
11/ Music can save your life. Do not underestimate its power. Escape.
12/ Don’t be too hard with yourself. Don’t listen to what people say about you. Learn who you are and who you want to be. Clean up this mess.
13/ Inhale, hold, exale.Do it again and again. Close your eyes & just breathe.
Not only is today my 21st birthday, but also another landmark- I’ve been on tumblr with all of you for one year now! And let me tell you, it has been a ride. Some of you may have noticed that I enjoy writing walls of text and being incredibly sappy. So lemme just go ahead and carry on that tradition.
I started to really pick up again with my art last January when I moved onto my college’s campus for the first time. I realized that I would would have more free time, and more alone time than ever before in my life. I decided to take this as an opportunity to advance and improve my artwork. I started taking drawing requests on /co/ and the Adventure Time threads, as well as the MLaaTR threads. After a couple months of this, people began encouraging me to make a blog to post my stuff to! I decided to make this blog one year ago today to post my stuff to on my 20th birthday.
I never really expected to make any characters, either! And since most of my characters happened to be made while doodling in class, I have the days recorded where I first incepted them! Reese was first doodled on February 16, 2016. Vivian and Sugar were first sketched on April 5th, on the same day! Tallow was designed July 23rd. And lastly, Clair was designed on September 26th.
The response to my drawings and these characters has blown me away. I never could have expected so much support, and I am grateful beyond words.
This past year has been a learning process for me, and so much has happened thanks to you guys. This wild ride has made this past year one of the best of my life, and I’m so happy that you all were a part of that.
I’ve met all sorts of new friends and cool people online, too! Some links are NSFW, but listed below are 100 people that have made my year better. People that have gifted me art, friends, people that have taken the time to talk and discuss things with me, and people that have been there for me the whole time:
Q: What was the reason that made you want to become a singer?
V: In my 6th year of elementary school…
Suga: In my 5th year of elementary school…
Jimin: Let’s speak one by one.
Jungkook: For me it’s 1st year of middle school.
Suga: It was around my 5th year of elementary school when Stony Skunk released their 2nd album. I wasn’t into music at that time but one day I was watching a music program and got totally amazed by Stony Skunk’s performance. They completely dominated the stage with a free spirit… I fell in love with that performance for a while and then after I listened to Epik High’s ‘Fly’, I thought “Ah, I have to rap.” I wanted to get into hip hop more so I started composing as well. It was like something I had to do. I think I have never changed my dream.
Jin: When I was in 1st year of middle school, I was chatting with my friends and we just said “I’m gonna be a singer!” very vaguely. At that time I just thought of being a cool singer, without any plan. “I want to make this vague dream come true. It’s a cool dream.”
J-hope: When I was younger I stood out quite peculiarly at school. At places like talent shows.
Rap Monster: Yeah, there’s no way you can’t stand out.
J-hope: Whenever I participate in things like talent shows, my friends would push me to the front to dance, it felt really good dancing in front of many people.
Jimin: All~ stage
J-hope: Those experiences made me think “Ah, I really have to learn dancing”, so I started searching for videos and learned dancing for real. I looked at singers who sing and dance at the same time and found them cool. So I wanted to become one myself.
Jimin: I started my singer dream from dancing too.
Rap Monster: Back in my 1st year of middle school, I really liked music so I just had this vague thought “I want to make music”. But around the 2nd year of middle school, I went to Hongdae and saw some hyungs rapping there, and they were really cool. I thought “I want to make music like that too” and started nurturing my music dream.
Suga:(looking at V) And you?
V: I’m like Hobi-hyung too. You know there are kids who always stay quiet at school but would stand out when there’s a festival around.
Rap Monster: Seems like you were one of those kids.
V: I would stand out whenever there’s a festival, but it’s thanks to Big Bang’s Daesung-sunbaenim’s ‘Look At Me Gwisoon’ that I gained my popularity in 6th year of elementary school.
Rap Monster: That was your debut stage.
V: Yeah, so I got quite big in Geochang.
Rap Monster: Geochang’s specialty!
J-hope: So it’s ‘Look At Me Taehyung’.
V: After that I was praised as the ‘characters of festivals’. But my popularity started slowly slipping down from middle school, so I thought “Ah, what I can do well is standing on the stage!!” and told my dad. So my dad…
Suga: I think I heard the next part over 100 times.
J-hope: Does your saxophone story have no ending?
V: Why do you say saxophone! I haven’t even mentioned saxophone yet!
Suga: Next your father will say “Shouldn’t you know how to play at least one instrument?” and so you started learning saxophone.
V: Ah yes…
Jin: You just need to talk up until that part.
Suga: That part is the reason why you wanted to become a singer.
Rap Monster: You just need to talk about your determination of being a singer.
Jin: Ah, saxophone! (laughs)
V: But I haven’t! Even! Brought up the word “saxophone” yet. I haven’t brought up it yet.
J-hope: You can talk about why you learned saxophone in any question.
Rap Monster: He suddenly went from talking about festivals to the instrument thing (ㅋㅋㅋ) What about Jungkook?
Jungkook: I joined a B-boying club in middle school and started learning then. But my parents said I wasn’t tall and told me not to learn it.
J-hope: That’s right, they said that a lot.
Jungkook: So I stopped with B-boying and started on my own by searching for choreography videos, then I saw Big Bang’s G-dragon-sunbaenim and thought “Ah! This is it!”, after that I started dreaming of becoming a singer.
Q: Do you come across the hip hop genre from the beginning? What got you start making music?
Suga: My dream was “I want to make good music and let many people hear it” from the beginning, I listened to various kinds of music and took hip hop as my base.
Rap Monster: I think I started with the mindset of “Let’s make my music” without caring about genres. Hip hop is good, but even if it’s not hip hop, I want to show Kim Namjoon’s sincerity with any genre. I hated making insincere music, you know.
J-hope: Hmh… I started with dancing so I came across hip hop quite easily. I thought of hip hop from the beginning already, but after meeting Rap Monster and Suga-hyung, I was influenced directly and grew interest towards hip hop.
V: I have been liking hip hop since I was little.
Jin: I started having interest in hip hop after I became a trainee, every week Rapmon would give me a recommended song list, you remember that? (looking at Rap Monster) I listened to it every single day~ As I listened to it I started growing interest towards hip hop.
Suga: Yeah, Rapmon had it hard.
J-hope: Training time!
Jimin: At first I just wanted to become a singer without any plan at all, but I got a lot of help from the hyungs. They told me about genres and recommended me songs so I could get it easily, I listened to it and found it fun. That’s why I could have interest in hip hop.
Jungkook: I can talk about it now but honestly it was hard for me.
J-hope: Yeah. It was really hard for Jungkook at first when he came across hip hop.
Rap Monster: That’s right. Passion is not something that can be forced.
Jungkook: At first I kept listening to it and kept trying, but it was hard.
Jimin: Yeah, we talked about it a lot back then.
Suga: Why was it?
Jimin: One day Jungkook suddenly said “Hyung, I don’t know.” He said it was too difficult.
Suga: So we recommended him other genres besides hip hop. We told him “Just listen to music”.
V: That’s right. Hyungs picked a lot of lists for me. Especially Rapmon-hyung gave me a lot.
Rap Monster: Listening to hip hop helped Jungkook a lot with doing his favorite kind of choreography, so at first I let him listen to R&B a lot as well so he could easily catch it.
J-hope: The biggest thing as Jungkook slowly being introduced to music is his trip to America. (laughs)
(( So after months and months of prep, I’m very proud to say I got into my dream college, Ringling! Thank you all so much for sticking by me, and I hope the next four years are as great as the last three!))
When I fall in love I hope she reminds me of blueberries-
I hope she stains my way of thinking
Along with every part of me she touches
I hope she leaves my skin soaked in such a majestic violet
She makes the galaxies overflowing with shades of
Mauve, sunflower yellow, and ocean blues look bad.
I hope when she lies next to me
The rhythm of her breathing
Will remind me what it feels like to be reckless and free
I hope she evokes such a natural energy inside of me
That my insides become her canvas
And she gets lost in the art she’s created underneath my rib cage
I hope every time she talks I’ll forget what she looks like
Because in 20 years it’ll be her mind I fell for,
Not the way her nose crinkles when she smiles
Or the way her eyes light up when she’s happy
I hope that she stains my soul in a beautiful lilac
So I never forget how brilliantly we burned
If she doesn’t stick around
I wasn’t able to bring anything to the con because London ate away all my money, but I think most Fannibals there were showered with gifts in any case. Me, personally, I was thinking of the people at home, those who couldn’t attend, and how to gift them something as well. So, to all the Fannibal that couldn’t make it to London or to those that want to listen to it again: someone recorded some of the stuff at the con and I thought I’d share it with you. : )
I cleaned the audio as best as I could - some things are hard to understand, though, because of all the cheering that’s been going on at the same time. If you don’t want to listen to it all, I will work on an easily navigatable transcript over the next few days. If someone wants to help with that, I’d be grateful - as I am not a native speaker, there are some bits that I just wasn’t able to make out yet. With all the different interpretations of what has been said, I think it’s important to have the exact wording available for dissection, so… go at it!
Here’s the complete Sunday Q&A with Hugh&Bryan available for download through my GoogleDrive (I think it only works as a download):
And here is half of the Saturday Q&A with Hugh&Bryan, missing the first hour and the platonic bomb, because clearly, the person recording it was still busy getting autographs and hugs and declarations of love from Bryan. I think. ; ) It starts shortly before Bryan arrives, so the whole Bedelia-love thing is in there, as well as the “They’d flip”, even if barely recognizable between all the cheering.
jackgilinsky: i don’t care what anyone says, this girl is the love of my life. i can’t imagine a world without her. it doesn’t matter what i’m going thru, she somehow knows exactly what to do to make me smile at any given moment. she is my very best friend & knows literally every little thing about me. i’m telling u this girl is special. not only is she the most gorgeous human being i have ever laid my eyes on, but she has the kindest heart of anyone i have ever met. she’s the type of person who puts herself second to everyone else. i’ve only known her for about 3 years, but those 3 years feel like a lifetime. she has taught me so much & i continue to learn from her every day. madison elle beer i love you with all of my heart & pray that i get to call u mine forever. you are the reason i go to sleep with a smile on my face. please never ever change. i can’t wait to see what u do over these next few years & u better know i’ll be there for u every step of the way. no matter how rocky the road may get. you are my soulmate. HAPPY 18TH. hope it was the best one yet. p.s. i’m sorry i posted a video of you sleeping. i hope u can forgive me. i love you. i’m gonna spoon u now. goodnight.
(( OKAY IN ALL HONESTY I COULD’VE FINISHED THIS HOURS BEFORE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY HAVING FUN AND SCREWING OFF OKAY? In fact I should’ve had this done by Friday but I spent that day gaming and playing around with friends so– PLEASE FORGIVE ME JHSKJGHSDKJG EVEN RIGHT NOW MAKING THESE POSTS I’M CHECKING BETWEEN TABS AND WATCHING RANDOM VIDEOS I’M AN AWFUL LOUSY WAVE LOLOL But please do enjoy this chapter! ))
(( OKAY I KNOW I MADE A POST A FEW DAYS BACK SAYING I WAS SORTA DISAPPOINTED WITH THE NEW CHAPTER, BC HONESTLY I JUST WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE VAMPIRES AND EVERYTHING FOR THE HUMANS IS FINALLY COMING TOGETHER AND IT’S BEEN SO LONG AND IT’S SO SLOW I’M GETTING ANTSY???
BUT I WON’T DENY THAT I REALLY LIKE THE BACKSTORY SCENE WITH SHINYA AND GUREN, PLUS MAHIRU’S REAPPEARANCE AND START OF FINALLY TAKING A BIGGER ROLE IN THE SERIES!
I ALSO HAVE MY CONCERNS ABOUT EVERYTHING IN GENERAL??? Ky Luc didn’t notice Mahiru’s presence at all, yet obviously Ferid at the end seems like he did???? So I’m just ???? Again, there’s something very unique about Ferid, and I REALLY hope it turns out to be something big and important bc I’M GOING TO SC R E AM
And the issue about the curse?? I mean I haven’t read the LNs, but if it’s just Mahiru TELLING Guren that the curse works like the squad can only live again for ten more years, and plus they’ll die if they learn they were revived? But how about it wasn’t actually proven? Just someone saying? So PLOT TWIST actually that’s not it??? And it’s only to keep Guren and the others in check?? SO YEAH IF THIS WASN’T EXPLAINED CLEARLY IN THE LN THEN THIS IS WHAT I BET – AND IF IT HAS BEEN PROVEN AND STATED THEN WELL RUN ME OVER OKAY?
But yeah all in all that’s about it – I’m just REALLY hoping now that next month’s chapter we can get some news about the vampires…I really want to see more of Urd and Lest obviously, then see a glimpse of Saitou perhaps, and I WANT TO KNOW WHERE HORN AND CHESS WENT LIKE GODDAMN! Okay but yeah all in all that’s the basic gist of it! Sorry for being so slow ;;;; Please enjoy! ))
It’s the 1rst of March 2017 and that means that this beautiful boy, the reason of this account right here is 23 now.
I can’t really believe how fast time is flying but it is, faster than I ever imagined.
Wasn’t you just 16 yesterday, having your first world tour, wasn’t it just yesterday when my world came out, when you reached more and more goals that you had, wasn’t it just yesterday that this fanbase was created?
Well it’s pretty crazy to think about the fact that this was all nearly 8 years ago, isn’t it?
It is nearly 8 years ago since we started to watch you growing from this little kid into this beautiful young man and I can’t even say how proud I am of you, but just saying that I’m proud would be an understatement because it has been nearly 8 years since you decided to live this kinda life, to take us with you on your amazing journey, and since then, we’ve been here, we’ve been here with you through thick and thin, we stayed through rumors, lies, changes, mistakes, break ups. We stayed when you had the worst part of your life, when you were in deep depression, not knowing what to do with your life anymore, and now look at you my angel.
You rised like a skyscraper out of the ground, you handled your depression, you started to keep your life together again and most importantly, you found your purpose.
You’ve been through a lot, your journey was everything but easy I can tell.. you know, it was tough,
~ you had to deal with the fact that people called you a “ girl ” because of your voice when you were just 16,
~ when you became 17, you were rumored to be a father,
~ you were getting called gay by the age of 18
~ then, 2013/2014, or how we call it, your bizzle phase, you had to deal with more hate than I ever imagined, parents calling you a bad influence for their kids but the worst is that you had to deal with yourself and we had no clue
~ then you turned 21 and you were having a hufe comeback, you went through a lot of changes
~ and well, now it’s the time where I can say, with 22, people called you a jerk and they tried everything to tear you down, but you’re still here.
^ look at all of this, and people still call Justin weak? I’m sorry but for me this just proofs one more that Justin is one of the strongest people existing out there.
And even though you went through all of this, you still managed to love us, to take care of us, to make us feel like we’re worth it, and it amazes me everyday how you have the strength to do it everyday.
People don’t really get it, they will always question the memories I created, we all created with Justin, the stories we have behind all of this, they will never get it, but Justin, there’s one thing you should know and one thing people will always question,
you’re keeping me alive for a lifetime now.
In my darkest times, you were there.
When everyone turned against me and showed me their back, you offered me a hand.
When I thought that all hope was lost, you reminded me that there will always be hope as long as you’re there.
You brought the smile I’ve lost for years back, in such a short time.
You are the reason I’m fighting through a bad day, why I keep holding on.
You’ve always reminded me that I’m not alone, and that you’ll might not be next to me right now but that you will always be with me.
When I was struggling with anxiety, depression and panic attacks, I just had to listen to be alright and I knew that everything will be okay again.
Even though you don’t know how I look, you make me feel like the most beautiful princess.
Do you see this?
You’re the reason behind my smile,
you made me believe in myself,
you made me accept myself instead of bringing it down,
you gave me hope when I thought there’s nothing left,
you stood by my side when I was alone,
you helped me to get out of the darkest place in my life and yet, people still say that you’re a bad influence, shake my head at every single one of them, I wonder if they would still call you names, talk bad about you in front of us, or even come
up with rumors if they would know that you’re the only reasons why their friends, daughters, classmates are still alive.
^ but that’s a different story.
This day is supposed to be about you and only you.
I’m so endlessly proud of you, you’ve got a grammy, a diamond award, our fanbase keeps growing, you’re finally the person who you want to be, you started to figure life out and maybe you didn’t figured out completely, but you figured it out enough to be happy with yourself, and that’s all that matters, your happiness.
There’s so much more I wanna say, so much more things I’m proud of, so much more reasons why I love you, so much more reasons why I will always be with you, but I don’t even have any ideas how to put it into words, because you really do mean everything to me.
But since it’s 12AM,
Happy birthday my angel,
just remember that we love you, that we’ve always loved and that we will always love you because you might not know, but you’re the reason why so many of us are still here.
Happy 23rd birthday my beautiful little cupcake vanilla muffin puppy baby prince, I love you way more than to the moon and back. ❤️🎉
HI can you do a bangtan reaction to someone questioning whether their child is their’s because the child doesn’t resemble them so much because their significant other is of a different ethnicity. Thanks and I hope that makes sense. 😊
LOL this happened to my mom once when I was a kid because I looked nothing like her. I can’t stand people who do this, but I do understand their concern.
“Oh, how cute is she? Is she adopted?”
Namjoon would just scrunch his eyebrows together and pull his daughter back behind him a little bit. “No..she’s not.” He’d say, before walking away with his little girl in his arms.
“Aw, hey there little one. Is this your daddy?” The lady would say wearily, peering up at Taehyung from where she crouched in front of the two year old.
The little boy would step back and hide behind his dad’s legs. Taehyung would be shocked, “Excuse me? Yes, I am, in fact.”
His son would be running around the park area and Jimin would be watching from a bench on the side.
“Which ones yours?” A guy said, sitting down next to him. Jimin would smile and point out the four year old, and the guy would make a face. “Are you sure?” He’d ask.
“Uh, yeah, I’m sure.” Jimin would say, obviously offended before calling out to his son and leaving the park with the little boy in tow.
J-Hope would be step back and quickly pick his little girl up. “Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?” He’d say, glancing at the woman who questioned him.
“Aw, is uncle taking you on a day trip, sweetie? How fun!”
Jin would make a face before gently pulling his daughter away from the woman who was crouched down in front of him. “I’m not her uncle. I’m her dad.” He would say, before leaving with the little girl.
“She doesn’t look very much like you. You’re her dad?” The man would say to Yoongi as he was pushing his little girl in the stoller, where she babbled happily.
He’d spin around and shoot back, “Yeah, I am. What business do you have asking?”
“Oh, how cute are you, it’s so nice to see friends helping out friends with their kids.”
Jungkook would make the Jungshook face, but snap out of it before staring straight at the lady. “Um, no, actually. I’ve helping out my wife by taking my daughter to the park because you know, she’s my daughter. My. Daughter.” He emphasized.
AN: Hours later and I’m still reeling from that episode. it was so raw and emotional. Truthful. This is my attempt to process that.
(Set somewhere post 5x17)
Oliver sat on the cot in front of her, arms supporting his weight on his knees, head hung low. He knew she was there, he always did. Still, he refused to look up at her, to meet her gaze.
It had been this way for weeks. He’d shut himself off, emotionally, physically, much more that he had ever done before, in the times she’d known him. Then, he would always glance up, make sure that she knew that she mattered to him, in some small way.
Now, he stiller than a statue, frozen in misery.
“Oliver.” Felicity whispered, stepping towards him. Still he refused to move.
Cautiously, she approached him, her heels sounding a knell with each stiletto strike. As though every step was another scar on his skin. She settled on the floor in front of him, kneeling at his feet. This way, she could peer up at him, find his eyes and see what he was thinking.
If she knew what the wound was, she could heal him. It was deep, and unseen, but had broken Oliver to the point that he didn’t spring back by his own power or the encouragement of her or John.
Still, he didn’t move. He gave the illusion that she wasn’t really there, that perhaps she was an illusion of his mind. An echo of his mistakes.
Felicity reached out and grasped his hands, his fingers between her palms. They were cold, dry and brittle, smooth as a stone. Ridges of calluses mapped a pattern of hardship and toil, orators of his heroic acts. The same scars that revealed the instrument of darkness he held tightly to.
The instant her hands made contact with his, he shuddered, pulling away. Quickly, she reclaimed her grip.