i hope that this one will not hit the internet like the last one

I’ve been contemplating for several days something, and I’ve been trying to distill it into meaning, and put nice little bullet points on how this relates to things that have been bugging me about some common Discourses I’ve been seeing, but at the end, I only really have a story. So here, have a story.

About ten years ago, sometime in the eventful 2006-2007 George W. Bush-ruled hellscape of my identity development, I was just starting to figure out how I felt about my conservative upbringing (not great) and whether I was some brand of queer (probably, but too scared to think about what brand for too long). I was working as a server at a popular Italian-inspired sit-down restaurant that was the closest thing my tiny South Carolinian town had to “fancy” at the time but isn’t really fancy at all.

The host brought a party of four men to one of my tables. It was hard to tell their ages, but my guess is they were teenagers or in their early 20s in the 1980s. Mid-40s, at the time. It was standard to ask if anyone at the table was celebrating anything, so I did. They said they were business partners celebrating a great business deal and would like a bottle of wine.

It was a fairly busy night so I didn’t have a LOT of time to spend at their table, but they were nice guys. They were polite and friendly to me, they didn’t hit on me (as most men were prone to do – sometimes even in front of their girlfriends, a story I’ll tell later if anyone wants me to), and they were racking up a hell of a tab that was going to make my managers happy, so I checked on them as often as I could.

Toward the end of their second bottle of wine, as they were finishing their entrees, I stopped at the table and asked if they wanted any more drinks or dessert or coffee. They were well and truly tipsy by now, giggling, leaning back in their chairs – but so, so careful not to touch each other when anyone was near the table.

They’re all on the fence about dessert, so being a good server, I offered to bring out the dessert menu so they could glance it over and make a decision, “Since you’re celebrating.”

“She’s right!” one of the men said, far too emphatically for a conversation on dessert. “It’s your anniversary! You should get dessert!”

It was like a movie. The whole table went absolutely silent. The clank of silverware at the next table sounded supernaturally loud. Dean Martin warbled “That’s Amore” in some distorted alternate universe where the rest of the restaurant went on acting like this one tipsy man hadn’t just shattered their carefully crafted cover story and blurted out in the middle of a tiny, South Carolina town, surrounded by conservatives and rednecks, that they were gay men celebrating a relationship milestone. 

And I didn’t know what I was yet, but I knew I wasn’t an asshole, and I knew these men were family, and I felt their panic like a monster breathing down all our necks. It’s impossible to emphasize how palpably terrified they were, and how justified their terror was, and how much I wanted them to be happy.

So I did the only thing I knew to do. I said, “Congratulations! How many years?”

The man who’d spoken up burst into tears. His partner stood up and wrapped me in the tightest, warmest hug I’ve ever had – and I’ve never liked being touched by strangers, but this was different, and I hugged him back.

“Thank you,” he whispered, halfway to crying himself. “Thank you so much.”

When he finally let go of me and sat back down, they finally got around to telling me they were, in fact, two couples on a double date, and both celebrating anniversaries. Fifteen years for one of them, I think, and a few years off for the other. It’s hard to remember. It was a jumble of tears and laughter and trembling relief for all of us. They got more relaxed. They started holding hands – under the table, out of sight of anyone but me, but happy.

They did get dessert, and I spent more time at their table, letting them tell me stories about how they met and how they started dating and their lives together, and feeling this odd sense of belonging, like I’d just discovered a missing branch of my family.

When they finally left, all four of them took turns standing up and hugging me, and all four of them reached into their wallets to tip me. I tried to wave them off but they insisted, and the first man who’d hugged me handed me forty dollars and said, “Please. You are an angel. Please take this.”

After they left I hid in the bathroom and cried because I couldn’t process all my thoughts and feelings.

Fast forward to three days ago, when my own partner and I showed up to a dinner reservation at a fancy-casual restaurant to celebrate our fifth anniversary. The whole time I was getting ready to leave, there was a worry in the back of my mind. The internet web form had asked if the reservation was celebrating anything in particular, and I’d selected “Anniversary.” I stood in the bathroom blow-drying my hair, wondering what I would do if we showed up, two women, and the host or the server took one look at us and the “Anniversary” designation on our reservation and refused to serve us. It’s not as ubiquitous anymore, but we’re still in the south, and these things still happen. Eight years of progressive leadership is over, and we’ve got another conservative despot in office who’s emboldening assholes everywhere.

It was on my mind the whole fifteen minutes it took to drive there. I didn’t mention it to my partner because I didn’t want to cast a shadow over the occasion. More than that, I didn’t want to jinx us, superstitious bastard that I am.

We walked into the restaurant. I told the hostess we had a reservation, gave her my last name.

She looked at her screen, then looked back at us. She smiled, broadly and genuinely, and said, “Happy anniversary! Your table is right this way.”

Our server greeted us, said, “I heard you were celebrating!”

“It’s our anniversary,” Kellie said, and our server gasped, beaming.

“That’s great! Congratulations! How many years?”

And I finally breathed a sigh of relief, and I thought about those men at that restaurant ten years ago. I hope they’re still safe and happy, and I hope we all get the satisfaction of helping the world keep blooming into something that’s not so unrelentingly terrible all the time.

Unrequited

Summary: As a teenager you’d been best friends with Sam Winchester, particularly since your mother and his father hunted together whenever they felt they needed backup. But then you’d moved country, and all interactions with the Winchesters were of the non-physical kind. So when they call on you for backup, you jump at the chance to see your best friend again, not to mention see his big brother, on who you’d had a mild crush on.
The hunt goes well, the rest of the evening, however, doesn’t exactly go your way.  
Pairing
: Alpha!DeanxOmega!Reader
Words
: 3963
Warnings
: A/B/O Dynamics. Smut.
AN: This was an Anon Request! I’m quite pleased with this one, and kinda tempted to write a sequel… let me know what you think of that idea!!!
Constructive Criticism Welcome!!!

***

Your phone started ringing for the third time in a row, and you couldn’t suppress your exasperated groan as you tugged a sweatshirt over your wet hair and damp skin. Snatching it up off the scuff-marked plastic table you chanced a quick glance at the caller ID before answering.

Sam Winchester.

Of course.

“You better have a damn good reason for disturbing my day off, Winchester,” you teased, tucking the mobile between your shoulder and ear so you could return to the damp towel you’d tossed onto the bed and set about drying your hair more thoroughly. The bastard knew you were taking a day to pamper yourself, yet still decided to drive you mad with your own ringtone. How very rude of him.

On the end of the line, Sam just chuckled, and you could just picture him shaking his head slightly in amusement.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he laughed, but you could detect genuine regret in his voice. “It’s just that I know you’re nearby, and me and Dean could use an extra pair of hands on this one. Dean will hate me when he finds out I rang… he doesn’t like thinking there are more Vamps than we can handle,” he said. A faint scraping sound in the background suggested that he’d just taken a seat, too.

As you once again dropped the towel onto your bed in favour of your hairbrush, you let out an amused titter. “Certainly sounds like Dean,” you mused, “sounds like he’s well on his way to becoming one of those stereotypical stubborn Alphas you get on TV.”

Once again, you heard the distinctive rumble of Sam laughing. That was when a thought hit you, and your face lit up in a smile so broad that your cheeks actually hurt.

“Hold up… does-does that mean I actually get to see you guys? And I mean see you, not just skype or a screen-shared movie?”

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The Wake of War

[AO3]

So.” Stiles drops back against the side of the Jeep, elbows braced and spine sinking slow against the dusty blue metal. Derek’s hovering a few feet away, at the edge of the lot, not quite ready to vanish into the night but not prepared to join with the rest of the group, either.

He needs their voices, maybe, to block out the ones in his head.

“Looks like I saved your ass again,” Stiles is saying, flashing him a crooked grin. He looks warm and bright like the rest of them, a glow of victory dancing around him that can’t quite seep into Derek’s bones. “What’s the count, now? ‘Cause I think I’m getting pretty close to earning a victory ride in that sweet new Camaro.”

Derek’s lips twitch, a snort slipping out.

“I seem to recall saving you last time.”

“Hey, we’ve been through this. At best, that was a tie.” Stiles looks so smug Derek can’t bring himself to argue, and maybe that’s the reason Stiles’ grin falls. His eyes go soft, flitting over Derek’s frame.

“I’m glad you’re ok, man. …I mean, as nice as it would have been to have my very own, hot guy lawn ornament––”

“Why did I look at her?”

He doesn’t mean to say it; flinches at his own words. His hands are too-tight fists he stretches straight with an effort, and when he looks at Stiles again the bright expression’s gone, replaced by tension and an edge of a grimace he’s trying to fight down.

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bellaandtheinfinitesadness  asked:

Like idk if you do request or ideas or whatever, but an au where 2017 dan is teaching the reader (or 2009 phil), how to fuck 2009 dan. Would actually be awesome.

Sorry for the long ass wait. If you have trouble reading om mobile, open in your phone browser y’all.

Dan Howell has always had a problem with finishing things. There’s a file on his computer with an endless list of unfinished video ideas, a half-completed photo board he started about a year ago pushed under his bed, and about five songs on piano that he’s only taught himself a quarter of the way through. He’s never been great at finishing things he’s started, so it’s no surprise that he’s the same when it comes to sex.

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Let me tell you what it’s been like being asexual.

-

When you’re twelve or so, and in a classroom full of tittering preteens, you finally get an explanation of what this ‘sex’ stuff actually is.  At last, the elusive knowledge of where babies come from!  But that’s also when you start to think about your sexual future.  Will you do this sex stuff one day?  It sounded like you wouldn’t have a choice—it was presented as something that everyone does.

Since your classroom happens to be in a building attached to a Church, you only learn about heterosexual sex that day, and the only real teaching apart from what it is is that you aren’t supposed to do it until you’re married.

Okay, you think, because you are twelve, and you ardently do not care.

-

When you’re thirteen or so, and at a sleepover, a girl tells a joke.  “What do you call a girl who doesn’t masturbate?”

“I don’t know.”

“A liar.”

And the people around you laugh, but you don’t, because now you wonder what it is that you missed.  You didn’t get the joke.

-

When you’re fourteen or so, and among friends, a boy talks about what he did in the restroom with a girl.  You listen because you’re a little curious.  But others are awed.

You disapprove, because you’re in eighth grade for crying out loud, why would you do something so stupidly risky?  Was it really so fun to be worth it?

You tell yourself that they’re just stupid, but then you wonder why your friends seem so fascinated by this boy’s vaguely uncomfortable descriptions.

-

When you’re fifteen or so, you start high school, and the social signs are telling you the time has arrived to join the dating scene.  You’ve got better things to do, but when a boy surprises you with a clumsy but well-intended text asking you out, you give it consideration.  You don’t really know this kid, but you’re curious about dating and don’t want to be that forever alone person.  You accept.

You don’t hate dating, but it doesn’t really do much for you.  After a little while, you’ve more or less forgotten that there’s someone you call your boyfriend.  When someone makes a passing remark about your presumed sexual relations, you are shocked by the wave of revulsion that smacks into you at the very suggestion.  Never in a million years, you think vehemently, and then you marvel at how you managed to ‘date’ the same person for four months without the thought of sex with them ever crossing your mind.

He tries to kiss you.  You don’t want to.  You know this isn’t going to work out.  You break it off.

You feel relieved and liberated.

-

When you’re sixteen or so, you’re happily single.  You love your friends dearly, your best friend most of all.  You love her far more than you ever…well, you never really loved your ex.  You wonder if you might be gay for her, but you don’t want to kiss her or anything, just squish her in a big hug on a daily basis to let her know you love her and put a smile on her face.

You have a fleeting crush on a boy.  You get over it, thankful it never amounted to anything, because what were you thinking ew!  Then you have another one, similar but different, and thank goodness that never happened either because it would have been so awkward.  You start to wonder if you’re just not cut out for dating, or maybe you’re gay.  You don’t know how to feel about that.  It’d be so much simpler and easier if you were just normal.

-

When you’re seventeen or so, you make a new friend, a really pleasant guy.  You are just friends, and that is perfect.  It lasts about five months, and then one of your friends pulls him aside and hints heavily that he ought to ask you out.

He does.  You have no compunctions about saying yes, because you like him a lot, and he’s taking you to see the new Hobbit movie even though he’s not a fan and he had to watch twelve hours of movies in preparation for this date so that he’d be able to understand your interest.

You have a great time, and so does he.

About a month later, he kisses you.  It was your first kiss, exciting for the seventeen years of buildup and pleasant for having happened on acceptable terms with a more-than-acceptable person.

In the following months, neither of you brings up the topic of sex.  After all, you’re both to be found in the pews on Sunday mornings.  That’s fine by you.  More than fine, actually.  The idea of sex frightens you, which you attribute to your inexperience.  You would only ever consider attempting it with someone you really trusted, on level with a spouse.

-

When you’re eighteen or so, and at a sleepover, a girl cuddles casually with you as you talk in the hushed tones reserved for the hours after midnight.  She laments the lack of available girls at your school.

You mention that you would date a girl.  You instantly have everyone’s attention.

“Is there something you want to tell us?” your cuddle-buddy asks.

You say again that you’d date a girl.  Not now, of course, because you have a boyfriend, but yeah, you’d have no problem with it.  You probably wouldn’t sleep with a girl, but then you really don’t like the idea of sleeping with a boy either.  So you don’t really care about the configuration of genitals you don’t intend to see.  You just want the company of some lovely dork who will marathon Lord of the Rings with you and frequent the city’s best ice cream parlors.

Because your cuddle-buddy is a member of the queer community, she’s much more informed about sexualities and designations and spectrums than you are.  She suggests “panromantic asexual” and you understand both of those terms.  You’d seen them before, but never really thought you qualified.  Hearing her say it makes it somehow more concrete.

You accept that you are panromantic asexual.  You feel so light now that a couple of your closest friends know and accept you as you are.

You tell your mom a little while later on a whim.  You regret it because she doesn’t even bother listening to you and doesn’t respect your trust.  You hear her the next day telling your sister about how you said you might be a lesbian, and you’re so frustrated with her you want to hit something.

You decide not to tell anyone else.  Your dad is pretty homophobic—actually, that’d be most of the adults in your family—and you have no idea how your boyfriend would take it.  Your peers might not be welcoming or understanding—you just don’t know.  You realize that you are sort of in a closet.

You start a blog on Tumblr and blog about your problems #ace #asexual #lgbtqa

You spend way too much time on the internet, looking for the magical solution for coming out to the rest of your loved ones.  But since you don’t actually have any intention of coming out in the near future, you know you’re wasting your time.

Somehow your disinterest in sex has moved to occupy the forefront of your mind, not because it requires lots of attention in order to comprehend, but because it makes you different, and that is distracting.

One day, while you’re reading fanfiction, you come across an explicitly asexual character, and you realize that this is a first.  You cannot think of a single time in your entire life up to this point when you had seen an explicitly asexual character, and that surprises you.  Then it bothers you.  Maybe you could have avoided a couple years of uncertainty and anxiety if you had been able to identify in yourself the familiar characteristics of another asexual.

You realize you don’t know anyone else in your life who’s asexual.

That’s a sobering, isolating realization.

-

When you’re nineteen or so, you presumably go to college.  You start trying to navigate life with some semblance of independence.  You probably feel a little more secure in how you identify yourself.  You might even be all the way out of the closet.

Or at least that’s what eighteen-year-old you hopes.

reds and blues and other hues || pt. 1

+ in which you meet your soulmate. and he just so happens to be the masked superhero who goes by the name of spider-man.

part 2 part 3 part 4 epilogue
haha, so.
this is my first imagine and i really wish i had the capability of writing something short! but alas, i don’t! so this is going to be more than one part. i hope i captured the characters well enough! :’) i hope you enjoy!
word count: 2994

You hate the universe.

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BTS Reactions - Their child forgets them

You smile at your phone as you see the text on it – your husband has just turned onto your street and he’s coming up to the house now! He’s been on tour for nearly 6 months, and he’s been so busy that he hasn’t had much time to stay in contact. You don’t mind though. You had missed him terribly, and you’re sure that your daughter had too, but knowing that you can hear his key in the lock right now warms your heart. You put down your book as you hear the door open, but rush into the living room when you hear your daughter scream in terror,

“Eomma, eomma! There’s a strange man in here, eomma help!” She screams, and you burst in, worried there’s genuinely a burglar. But it’s not, as you discover upon your entry. It’s your husband, standing in the living room, arms out to hug your daughter and a heartbroken expression on his face.

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Pregnant (Bill Skarsgård)

Based upon: Bill’s reaction to hearing you’re pregnant. 

She had spent the last half hour pacing around her and Bill’s cottage in Sweden, waiting for him to return home from grocery shopping. It was eating her up, she was desperate to tell him, yet she almost feared what he would say; they were not trying for a child.

Finally she got tired of walking around the brightly lit, marbled living room and decided to sit on the leather sofa. However, she could not be still, tapping her foot and twisting her fingers together. She began to think, ‘What if he didn’t want a child? It was coming out in just under two weeks and he was surely going to be signed for more movies once people had seen how incredible he was as the demotic clown. He was just at the beginning of his career, one that could go on for years. It would be unfair to hinder him… he wouldn’t wan this’ She kept on with these fearful thoughts until the sound of the wooden door opening snapped her back into reality.

She could hear the shuffle of his loafers in the kitchen, the sound of crinkling plastic as he set the bags down on the counter.

“Hey Babe.” He called, tone so nonchalant it made her even more nervous.

He began to put the food that would last them for the next five days into the fridge.

“Bill?” She said quietly, almost hoping he wouldn’t hear her.

“Yeah?” His voice came from the kitchen.

She sat frozen on the couch, legs crossed and a knitted, white blanket around her shoulders. Suddenly, she did not want to tell him.

“Babe?”

Her eyes snapped up, finding Bill standing in the doorframe. He was donning a black, wool jacket, dark jeans, russet coloured loafers and a confused expression.

She sank back against the supple fabric, then met Bill’s gaze. “I need to speak with you.” She announced cautiously.

He nodded, pale eyes filled with concern and he shrugged off his coat. Placing it on the table, he walked over to the couch she was sitting on.

Night had begun to fall, the once bright blue sky suddenly darker and painted with large streaks of burnt orange and small strokes of pale purple. The massive window in the room looked over the lake and gardens, both of which moved with the soft evening wind.

He took a seat beside her and she slowly turned towards him, pulling her legs into her chest. She was bracing herself for the worst.

“Are you alright?” He wondered.

She nodded. “I’m fine. I’m just…” She looked out the window, unable to bear the sight of his worried face. She took in the slowly lapping waves before speaking. “I love you.” She promised, tearing her eyes away from the outdoors and back to her boyfriend.

He took her small hand in his large one. “You can tell me anything okay? I love you too.” He assured her.

“Bill,” She took a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”

Her whole body went stiff.

His pouty lips cracked into a wide smile and he pulled his lover into an embrace. It took her by surprise, her eyes were wide when he first hugged her, then went calm when she realized he was truly happy.

“I love you.” He breathed, lips near her ear. “I love you so fucking much, babe. You and our baby.” He finished.

She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him. “Are you sure it’s alright? I mean, we weren’t planning for this and your career is just starting to really take off… I don’t want to jeopardize your future.” She explained.

He pulled back and took her face into his hands. “You will never been an inconvenience to me. I swear it.” He promised her, his voice deep and passionate.

She believed him by his tone and way his pale green eyes darkened as he stared at her. It was then that it hit her, they were going to have a baby.

“Hey- Babe,” He soothed when he saw her eyes gloss over, “what’s wrong?”

Her rosy lips broke into a smile, tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. “No, no, it’s just…” She looked into his eyes, “We’re actually doing this.”

He grinned back once he realized she was okay.

“We’re doing this.”


Five months had passed since Bill found out about her pregnancy and it had been one and a half months since he had seen her last. He hated leaving her for a month and a half to shoot a film, but she assured him she would be fine. It turned out she was fine, everything was going perfectly well with the pregnancy. Yet she was terrified for him to return.

She stood under the rainfall shower head, letting the lukewarm water cascade down her bare body. Bill was to be home in a week; she missed him dearly.

After her shower, she stood in the grand closet, grabbing a oversized flannel and sweatpants for the evening.

She dropped the fire red, silk robe Bill had bought her in Paris a year back and she caught her reflection in the rectangular floor to ceiling mirror placed beside her shoe collection. Her mouth dropped.

The first few months did not have much affect on her appearance, sure, she looked slightly bigger, but it was nothing incredibly noticeable. So when she took at the reflection, her heart sunk.

Immediately her mind went to her boyfriend, he had never seen her so large before. She wasn’t daft, obviously she would get bigger; she was growing a child inside of her, but Bill had left when she had just hit three and a half months. The idea that he would think she was ugly plagued her thoughts. There were so many stories on the internet and news about men who had left, cheated or refused to sleep with their partner because they were 'fat.’ Bill wasn’t like those cruel men, he would never do something like that to her. Despite that comforting knowledge, she still felt like shit.

The front door opened and she heard the thump of his bags on the hardwood floor.

“Hey, Y/N. I’m home!” He called.

“I’m in the living room, Babe.” She replied, snuggling deeper into the soft blanket.

He strode down the hall and into the living room, smiling at the sight of her curled up on the sofa.

“How are you feeling?” He wondered.

She smiled, “Everything’s going well.”

He knelt down and hand his large hand through her fine hair. “Do you have an Ultrasound soon?” He asked.

“A week fews.” She said easily, yet felt so relieved. She was wearing an incredibly large sweatshirt over her black joggers, so he couldn’t see the difference.

He pressed his lips to her forehead and gave her a chaste kiss before standing, “Alright. Are you hungry? I can make stir fry soon if you’d like.”

She gave him a small smile, he really was a great boyfriend. “Yes, thank you.” She responded.

He headed off to the kitchen.


They had always taken showers together with the exception of the days Bill had to get up at the crack of dawn to shoot scenes for a movie.

She did not want to shower with him anymore.

He found her in a bubble bath one night, orange candles being the only source of light in the room. Her eyes snapped open at the sound of the bathroom door opening.

“I thought you went out.” She said, a bit too quickly.

He watched as she sank further into the bubbles, leaning her head against the smooth porcelain tub.

“I was supposed to meet Alex but I didn’t want to leave you.” He explained.

He moved to the vanity and leaned against the counter, hands holding the granite.

“You should go. I’m fine here.” She said, trying to sound encouraging.

He shook his head. “What’s going on, Babe? You’ve been… distant ever since I got back.” He confessed.

“No, everything is fine Bill. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.” She apologized.

He sighed and sauntered across the bathroom until he reached the tub where he knelt down onto his knees. Her breath hitched in her throat as he reached his hand out to stroke her neck, moving down to her collarbone. Never had she felt uncomfortable when he touch her. In fact, it was quite the opposite; the feeling of his hands all over her body was something she used to crave. He made her feel good.

But when his hand slipped below the water, she immediately pulled away from him. She couldn’t look into his eyes, knowing they would be filled with worry and confusion.

“Babe…” He said softly.

He definitely knew something was up now.

Her back was pressed against the opposite side of the tub, hands gripping the porcelain on either side of her and her the tops of her slightly larger breasts were exposed. Her breathing was heavy.

“Please tell me what’s going on.” He pleaded.

She could hear the desperation in his voice and she knew it was unfair to keep him in the dark about what she was going through.

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

She lifted her eyes to meet his, chest still rising and falling quicker than usual.

His heart broke at the sight of her.

“I just want to be alone.” She whispered, breaking contact with him.

He knew that she wanted her space, she had completely shut him out.


She woke in an instant when she felt movement in her stomach. Immediately, she sat up in bed, her breaths turning laboured and hand clutching her large belly.

Beside her, Bill opened his eyes at the commotion. When he saw her sitting up, he threw the sheets back and rose, watching her with concern.

“What’s wrong?” He asked quickly.

Her eyes widened when she understood it was their baby kicking.

“No- nothing! Bill they’re kicking!” She exclaimed, dramatically relieved.

He let out a deep breath.

“Can I?” He asked softly.

Her wide smile dropped as she looked at him.

“Please tell me.”

She sighed and took his hand in her right hand, with the other she pulled her red and black flannel above her stomach and placed it on her large bump.

He understood.

“You’re beautiful.” He leaned down to kiss her stomach. “You’re absolutely stunning.” He promised her.

She ran her fingers in his messy brown hair, combing through the small tangles. He sat up and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her passionately.

He loved her, no matter what.

texts from last night! meme

[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

[text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here

[text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.

[text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW

[text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA.

[text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

[text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese

[text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it

[text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?”

[text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

[text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him.

[text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.

[text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.

[text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.

[text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife.

[text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops.

[text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

[text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.

[text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

[text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling

[text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One.

[text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us

[text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…

[text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”

[text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

[text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

[text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

[text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings.

[text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug”

[text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

[text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

[text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

[text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him

[text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

[text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

[text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

[text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury

[text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart.

[text] When was the last time you wore pants?

[text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

[text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.

[text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time

[text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent

[text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

[text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going?

[text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.

[text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition?

[text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.

[text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist?

[text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

[text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

[text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin.

[text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb

[text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

[text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.

[text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy

[text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

[text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.

[text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on

[text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant

[text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

[text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

[text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

[text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

[text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out

[text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

[text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire.

[text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.

[text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

[text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

[text] you traded sex for a burrito?

[text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

[text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.

[text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.

[text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable.

[text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

[text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box

[text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

[text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka.

[text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

[text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

[text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos”

[text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

[text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style.

[text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

[text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

[text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

[text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year

[text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

[text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.

[text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted

[text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

[text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

[text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

[text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

[text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

[text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

[text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok.

[text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.

[text] Because when I say 'You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’

[text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

[text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

[text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

[text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.

[text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone

[text] never. drinking. again.

[text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.

[text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night

[text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

[text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.

[text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

The Only Exception (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,442

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes

A/N: Okay, so I saw a movie a long long time ago that was terrible, but it inspired the ‘bad’’ love advice and the firemen. I’ve been dying to have fireman!Bucky in one of my AUs.

And yes, the title comes from the Paramore song. I felt like it’s how reader feels throughout. Hope you guys like it. I had some writer’s block, and some house guests, so this is a little late being posted.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

Originally posted by 8bit-arc-reactor

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ships passing in the night.

A quick, (hopefully) fluffy little fic featuring musician!Derek. Inspired by this prompts post of “Reunited AUs.”

now also on ao3!

Stiles is so close to getting somewhere with Derek. He can feel it.

They have inside jokes. They eat lunch together every day in the cafeteria. Stiles has found out that Derek can play like fifteen different instruments and likes to fiddle around with composing music in his spare time, and Derek knows all about Stiles’ fascination with folklore, unexplained phenomena, and The X-Files. Stiles overhears Derek telling Boyd that Stiles is a “brilliant researcher.” Derek has seen Stiles having a panic attack in the men’s restroom and talked him through it, and he went with Stiles as his (sadly platonic) plus-one to his dad’s wedding. There’s even a drunk almost-kiss at their boss Lydia Martin’s engagement party, Stiles making an idiot of himself but Derek smiling fondly anyway, and then—nothing.

“Hey, where’s Derek?” Stiles asks Greenberg when he comes in Monday morning. Derek is one of those annoyingly productive morning people and always beats Stiles to the office. Today his desk is empty. Like, weirdly empty. Stiles would almost venture to call it bare, except that makes no sense. “He’s not sick, is he? Or hungover?”

Although, as far as Stiles knows, Derek doesn’t drink.

“He quit,” Greenberg says, not looking up from the magazine he’s reading, as if this is totally normal.

There’s a strange ringing in Stiles’ ears. “Like, for the day?”

Greenberg doesn’t look up. “Like, for forever.”

It really is that sudden. One day he’s plugging away in the cubicle next to Stiles’, and the next, Stiles finds out from fucking Facebook that Derek Hale is overnight famous.

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1. I should’ve bought more flowers for you, now I buy flowers even if today isn’t Valentine’s Day or a day with a specific meaning, in a way, every petal is imbued with an apology and every time someone leans in to smell it they can feel the parts of me that you’ve forgiven far long before I could

2. I didn’t start to feel better until I started to take better care of myself, a constant whisper of you saying “i was just worried about you”

3. You can’t let someone be your only source of happiness because once they’re gone, you’re all alone again and there’s nothing worse than starting all the way back over with yourself: square one of a broken heart multiplied by the intensity of she’s not coming back, let her go

4. Music will never betray me

5. Poetry is thinking that you’ve got it figured out and a metaphor is just your way of saying I don’t

6. Art rules the world and I am a masterpiece in progress; how can I love myself like how you did if I can’t see that little bit?

7. Lust isn’t conducive for growth, it’s like an addict trying to get his fix– some day, he’s going to break and not even the drug can help him

8. I buy myself nice things, but I can’t fill this emptiness inside of my heart– I guess some nights, I just miss being next to you

9. I still can’t get used to sleeping alone

10. Sometimes I wish I would’ve picked up your phone calls during the first few months, I broke my promise and you know something? I regret it

11. I threw away our love letters and memories two months ago, I cried the whole time– yeah, still a fool for you, but baby, we’ve changed so much, I’m happy with my unhappy

12. You once told me to go on many adventures without you, did you account for my depression? You know, I don’t blame you for any of this. In reality it was always an us thing, a too young thing, a stupid, mad love thing– as always, I still love you, I just don’t know what love is anymore

13. They were right, soulmates touch you and they change you forever– the moment a colorful paint filled brush hits the water and the figments of colors flow into the cup, you left my soul with so many seasons, I’m still raking up the leaves from last fall

14. The last time I saw you we shouldn’t have had sex, I think that night really broke you– I think that night really broke me too

15. I should’ve laid my head onto your chest and counted your heartbeats more often, I’m sorry

16. Sometimes when I talk to people and tell them random facts that you’ve filled my head up, I swear I can hear your voice echo in the back of my head– “baby, check this out, you’re gonna love it”

17. I always do

18. I still remember your favorite Harry Potter line

19. After all of this time? …Always.

20. I smoke cigarettes to think about how to think less, the fucking irony

21. I take painkillers and my excuse is that my right hand still hurts, in truth, I’m just another addict that believes if I take another maybe my heart might just start to sound like it belongs to me

22. I didn’t cut myself because I wanted to die, I cut myself open because I wanted to feel how often I made your heart break, each scar on my shoulders is a time when I’ve made you cry

23. And each night that I can’t sleep, I stay up wishing that you’re doing okay

24. I don’t pray often, but when I do, I always prayed for your mom, although she hated me, I’m so glad that she put you on this earth to allow us to meet– I have changed so much since I’ve met you

25. The crazy part? You still change me everyday

26. You know the renaissance era? Falling in love with you was like that

27. My favorite photo of us were those two kids eating a banana split at the New Orleans mall, I miss those two innocent kids, oh, how we’ve changed

28. We are destined to have this eternal flame kind of distance– the brighter I burn, the more you’ll read, the only thing that keeps me writing some days is knowing that somewhere, somehow you’re always reading, no matter who you’re with or if you’re laughing or crying or smiling

29. My number one fan was always you first

30. I’ve made so many bad decisions, you were never one of them

31. I’ve written so many bad poems, you were in every single one

32. I’ve written some pretty great ones too tho…!
You were also in those

33. I miss cleaning your eyes for you

34. I have met some amazing people because of what happened to us

35. I can’t get you by Fallbrooke the acoustic version is no longer on the internet, the funny part? The very last day that it was on the web, I downloaded it right before they removed it. It’s still my favorite song of all time, our song

36. Hold your tears by Clazziquai too

37. Sometimes when I get off from work, I sit in the car and cry, some tears don’t have meaning, they just need to come out

38. I claim to write poetry, but I feel like they’re just love letters sent to no one in particular

39. It’s not that I’m not over you, I’m just trying to get used to not needed you

40. It’s not that it hurts to the point where I can’t breathe, I’m just trying to light my own path to self-love and healing

41. The fact that your favorite color is orange, it makes the fruit taste some type of way

42. Sometimes I want to call you, but I don’t

42. Sometimes I want to text you and I do

43. Sometimes I want you to answer, I’m glad you don’t

43. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it all and call, I’m glad that I don’t

44. You stopped writing when we first met, in some way, the girl that waits by the shore has left a million pens near my desk and to this day– I wait by the shore too, just in case inspiration hits, right?

45. Our little codes of love finally decoded enough for me to not be blinded by you

46. We were both messed up people, I think we knew that about each other and maybe that’s why I always know when you’re not feeling okay

47. I still don’t have love figured out, but damn I’ll open every fucking door in my heart even if I have to go down the sewer to find every key

48. Someone says that she’s falling for me, I’m legit afraid to hurt people now– like it’s a real fear, I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore

49. I should’ve given you the stars, but instead I left your heart scattered across the universe

50. It’s been almost two year and I’m still writing about you, but at least it’s less often, right?

51. You’ve always been kinda self-centered, I think you enjoy it when I write about you. Like if I write about you in some way, maybe I’m still yours

52. We were just too damn young to realize how destructive passion, love, romance, stagnation, betrayal and pain is when mixed together

53. Sometimes I go to the places that we used to go just to create new memories without you

54. Sometimes it works

55. Most of the time, it just flicks me off

56. My brain is constantly telling me that I’m a fuck up and the more I try to get it right, the more I keep getting it wrong

57. I am trying to master the art of letting go

58. And this list is a step towards better things

59. And this life is going to be alright

60. Without you, I am still me

61. Without you, I can still breathe

62. Without you, I am still alive

63. Without you, I am still poetry

64. I can barely remember your face, I guess being around a lot of different people at work helps out plenty

65. This world is filled with pain, I hope you look back and smile about us some day

66. Maybe when you’re old and grey– you’ll remember those two young kids who slow danced in the dark

67. If we were made from the same star, I want to return home some day

68. I want to shine bright enough for the two of us

69. You’re still my best friend even if we no longer talk

70. You’ll always be my best friend

71. I still care about you

72. A whole fucking lot

73. The world is full of mysteries, I’m glad that we’re in the known, I’m glad that we’ve met

74. I hope you never regret me, you wanna know why? I could never, ever, ever, ever regret you

75. I don’t know how to open up to people anymore and I’m not sure if it’s my fault or yours– maybe this one time, it’s our fault… are you like this too?

76. I’ve been told that I’m too hard on myself, I firmly believe that one of the reason as to why we split was because I wasn’t hard enough on myself– I got too fucking comfortable with your promises and I took you for granted

77. Life waits for no one

78. I let an ex of mine break my red and black ring– she said that if I was over you, I’d let her break. I let her break it, but jokes on me, it didn’t change a thing about how I still feel about you

79. I keep writing and writing and writing because one of these days– it’ll stop being about you

80. Sometimes it works, but deep down, I know in some way, you’ll always find a way to sneak back out

81. I can’t get you out of my head sometimes

82. It’s even harder because you’re still inside of my heart

83. I saw this cool picture on Tumblr with someone cutting a piece of herself off that resembled two lovers splitting up, that shit looked like it hurt

84. Love hurts because even eating cotton candy ice cream really fast will give you a brain freeze

85. You didn’t like my rat tail idea, I grew one out just to fuck with you. Jokes on me, I love it now.

86. You never really supported the idea of me being anything, tbh, it’s not your fault. None of it is. I should’ve been my own motivation. I guess by supporting you through nursing school, I wanted to hear you say that I could do it even when I was at my lowest point.

87. I realized a few thing about loving you.

88. When you hit rock bottom, few will be loyal enough to stick it out with you

89. Money rules the world, since I’m not wealthy in any way– one day when I am, I can laugh a little about all of this

90. I think you loved our memories more than you loved me, in truth, I did too

91. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to get close to people

92. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to let you go

93. Maybe that’s why you still read

94. We had something raw and experimental, young and dumb, mistakes on top of mistakes

95. It was a perfect compass to point us to our future selves

96. I know a great many things now– although I am depressed, with or without you

97. I am great, I am strong

98. I am my own happy before anyone else’s

99. I can love myself enough to let you go

100. I had to hurt you to really, really grow–
I think to this day, that’s the thing that hurts me the most. That I had to hurt my best friend in this whole wide world, to make you crumble, to make you cry, to make you hate me– I had to do all of that in order to love myself. And it’s sad because here I am, still trying to figure it all out.



With or without you, I will be a better person.
—  100 things I figured out when we broke up
Heat of the Moment - Part 2: Awakening

Characters: Reader (Y/N Padalecki), Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki,

Pairing: Jensen x reader, Jared/sister!Reader

Warnings: Smut, Oral (female receiving), Unsafe sex (wrap it before you tap it boys and girls), Angry Moose.   

Word count: 1500ish

A/N: Andi aka @ellen-reincarnated1967 offered to write me another drabble for a series of hers I love, so I told her to pick one of five prompts but my overactive brain made a story of all five prompts. This is part two of a two part story.

2 out of 5 prompts are used in this one and they are bolded if you are curious.

Thanks a billion to @teenage-internet-recluse and @mamapeterson for betaing this for me. You’re awesome girsl :D

MASTERPOST

You squeezed your eyes harder together to keep the sunbeams penetrating the curtains from stabbing your brain. Fuck, it felt as if a herd of rhinos had a dance party in there. You let out a soft moan, trying to move out of the offending sun’s passage and stick your head under the pillow like an ostrich. You instantly froze when you felt a foreign weight wrapped around your middle. 

“Shit!” you thought as you slowly moved to turn your head. The sight that met you, combined with the dull ache between your legs as you moved, made your breath catch in your throat. The man beside you was still asleep with a blissful expression on his face, while your head and heart was tearing your emotions in opposite directions.

What if he regretted this? Fuck he is beautiful. What if Jared find out? Would it be bad to lean in and kiss those pouty lips of his? Dammit Y/N, focus!  

Even if you had no immediate recollection of last night, there was no doubt in your mind what had happened. You were both naked and the delicious soreness between your legs served as a reminder of where the adonis next to you had been.

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Mobbed & Shaken

Series : Dog Mom Life

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom is in for a surprise by the reader but after getting off a flight he gets mobbed by fans who shove posters in his face making him feel uneasy.

Word Count:1,800+

A/N:Hopefully you enjoy this new fic, I talk about the situation on the post I linked. I’m really disappointed in the fans that mobbed him though. Have common decency for a human being. Tom being mobbed wtf . This fic is in relation to what happened, and of course adding stuff.


[Tom’s POV]


“Mr. Holland we can get you out of here as quickly as we can” Yawning I nod running my fingers through my hair. Walking out of the gate we make our way towards the front. Once down to the baggage claim a man was carrying mine and Harrison’s bags. Then it hits me all at once when the volume in the building rises from fans screams and excitement.


“Tom please sign this!”


“Tom I love you!”


“TOM!”


    A poster is shoved in my face causing me to stumble backwards. Grabbing the sharpie being shoved in my hand I sign it quickly. More posters are in my face causing me to panic, I’m exhausted from the flight we just took. This was so overwhelming after the flight, I was still waking up  Sighing I sign the ones being waved in my face.


   Harrison tugs me along while the bodyguards make a pathway for us. My bag gets taken to put in the trunk. Getting into the car I close the car as a mob of fans pour out of the airport doors. Harrison gets in letting out a groan resting his head against the rest. Placing my head in my hands as my elbows rest on my knees. Harrison rubs my back causing me to look up.


“You alright mate?”


“I.. I don’t know” I mumble looking out of the window as the car starts to drive.


[Reader’s POV]


“Tom Holland is currently on his way to his hotel room, spotted at the airport just moments ago from our sources” The announcer’s voice on the radio fills the air in your car.


“Can you speed up a bit,I’m not feeling too well” you ask even though you were completely fine. Yet there was a bad feeling in your stomach about Tom getting off this flight. You don’t know if it’s this soon to be mother intuition but you just had a feeling. Placing your hand on your bump rubbing it gently. The driver changes the station to something else after they started talking about something else.


     As the car ride sped by a little quicker you pull out your phone. Smiling at the screensaver of you and Tom on your wedding day. Your screensavers always put a smile on your face when you look at them. Unlocking your phone pulling up Instagram. Clicking the search button the various posts that Instagram thinks you will like pops up. A bunch of pictures of Tom start loading up.


   Setting your phone back in your purse you decide to relax for the rest of the ride. You were bringing Tessa as a surprise to hopefully cheer up Tom. She was excited to  be going on an adventure. Unfortunately you couldn’t stay too long because of your ticket. It was all a surprise that even Harrison was involved in.



Harrison:

We just got to the hotel, see you and Tess soon. Tom’s definitely going to need this,he’s a bit upset.


You:

Is everything okay? What’s going on?


Harrison:

It’s better to talk to Tom about it when you get to the hotel okay?


You:

I’ll be there soon, Tessa is getting restless


“Tessa love, you excited to see Daddy?” you ask as the car pulls up to the hotel. Tessa walks by your feet perching her paws up at the window. Feeling your phone buzz again,you  look at it to see Harrison’s message.


Harrison:

Room 875 ,me 879


    Putting your phone back in your purse,grabbing Tessa’s leash hooking it on her. Opening the door she jumps down onto the ground, her tags jingling. Your suitcase is handed to you by your bodyguard. Tessa looks up at you waiting for you to walk. She pulls with Tom but stopped pulling since you got pregnant.


“Tessa’s here!” a voice shouts making you freeze. Looking up to see a crowd of girls that were heading over quickly.


“Fuck” I mutter walking towards the hotel doors,Tessa quickly walking beside you. Her tail wagging with a happy look on her face.


   Your guard blocking some of the girls that tried shoving their phones in your face. They were desperate heathens trying to take pictures. Feeling a tug you see a girl’s hand on Tessa’s leash. Reaching down slapping the girls hand when she tries taking Tessa’s leash from you. What in her damn mind did she think that’s okay?


Don’t touch her” You snap using a stern tone, Tessa steps in front of you letting out a little growl. The girl lets go stepping away from you and Tessa.


“What in the actual fuck” huffing out in frustration you and Tessa walk in. She lets out a bark that echoes in the hotel. Probably her own way of saying what the fuck.


“Mrs. Holland are you alright?” A man came up to you, he had a gold name tag on. He must be the manager here.


“Could be better but please get a better control of that.. one of them tried taking my husband and I’s dog” Looking back you see the group of girls that turned into a mob.


“Of course we’re terribly sorry, We hope you enjoy your stay” He gives you a small smile which you return one as well. It wasn’t his fault for what happened but knowing it will never change.


“C’mon love let’s head upstairs okay?” Giving a small tug to her leash we head over to the elevators. Clicking the button making it light up,the doors opening.Tessa’s nails click against the flooring as she walks in.The elevator dinged each time it went up a floor. Thankfully the elevators weren’t made of glass so people couldn’t see inside. Pulling out your phone opening up your messages. Sending a quick one once you reach the elevators.


You:

Heading up to the 8th floor, is Tom in his room?


Harrison:

Yeah he just got settle in, how’s Tessa?


You:

Well someone tried taking her and I slapped their hand.


Harrison:

Shit that’s going to be on the internet now lmao


    The elevator speaks saying the floor you’re on now. Looking up to see the doors opening. Tessa steps out looking from side to side. Seeing a sign having arrows underneath numbers. Finding the number range Tom’s room is you head in that direction. Tessa’s nose sniffing on the ground her head perks up. Making it to Tom’s room you knock three times. Tessa sits down in front of the door tail wagging fast. 


“shhh Tessa” You whisper as she looks up at you.


“Coming!” you hear your husband shout through the door, His footsteps are heard as he got closer to the door. A click sound signaling he unlocked the door opening it slowly. 


    The door opens fully to review you and Tessa. Tom’s smile making your heart melt. He pulls you into a massive hug as Tess wraps her leash around the both of you. Holding onto him so you don’t fall over.


“Shit, Tessa hold on love” Tom laughs trying to get us untangled. Once untangled he lets the both of you in. Tom cups your cheeks in his hands pressing his lips against yours. God you’ve missed him and it felt so good to be kissed by him.


“I can’t believe you’re here” his lips peppering kisses all over your face making you giggle. 


“Surprise babe, the three of us were missing you” 


“I’ve missed the three of you terribly… ‘ello love have you been treating you mum well?” Tom kneels down pressing a kiss to your bump. He wraps his arms around your bump resting his cheek against it. He looked so damn adorable as you looked down at him.


“Tom, are you alright though?” You ask running your fingers through his soft curls. He looks up at you then looks away quickly. 


“If you want the truth, I’m actually not” He stands pulling you towards the bed. Walking over to the other side I slip my sandals off then getting into the bed. Tom strips his shirt getting in and laying next to you. His face looking serious and pained,you hated seeing Tom like this.


“So I got mobbed at the airport today.. I normally don’t have a problem with my fans cause I adore them so much for all their support.. But today was the first time I felt overwhelmed.. God I don’t know what to do or how to process this..”


“Well first off you’re going to breathe, you’re alive cause thankfully they didn’t harm you physically.. Mentally this is a lot, you’re a celebrity and it never really ends but you have your family,Tessa and I to get you through it no matter what” you say placing your hand on his cheek he turns his face to kiss your palm. He then pulls you into his warm embrace. Being in his arms calmed you no matter what happened.


“I’m so blessed to have you in my life.. I love you so much darling”  His smile making your heart skip a beat like always.


“More than yesterday?” you ask batting your lashes up at him earning a laugh from Tom. 


“Yes darling, always loving you more and more each day” Tom presses a kiss to your forehead while he rubs your bump. His phone starts buzzing and ringing. Reaching into his pants he pulls out his phone.


“Uh,babe.. did you hit a fan?” he asks showing you a video. It replays showing your hand hitting the girls off of the leash. Oh God it was already on the internet.


“Well in my defense she grabbed onto Tessa’s leash.. No one try’s to take my fur baby away” Tessa jumps on the bed laying down by your legs. Her sweetness shining in her eyes, you loved her so much.


“They grabbed onto her leash?” Tom asks looking at you shocked his eyes going wide. 


“They can hate me all they want, I’m a dog mom first and no one tries to take Tess’s leash from me” 


“I can’t even imagine how you’re going to be when someone is rude to our daughter darling” his chuckle making his chest vibrate.Tessa rolls on her back waiting for a belly rub.


“Yes love, I will protect you with my mum honor if it’s the last thing I do..” leaning over to reach her belly to give it a rub. A happy bark escapes her making you smile.


“Definitely will make them rue the day if they upset our daughter or our dog child” 


“oh bloody hell did you just say rue?!” Tom’s laughter fills the air of the hotel room.


“Oh hush at my word choice but it works!” You push him making him fall out of the bed.


“Fuck! dammit babe” he groans laughing at what just happened.  You enjoyed moments with him like this. Acting silly and being madly in love with each other. Life was perfect because you get through the hardships together. 

anonymous asked:

Could you list you favorites smut fics of sterek? You seen to have a pretty good taste.

There is no way I could choose and rate my favorite smut fics. There are just way too many but here is a long list of the best. Hope you enjoy!

Over the Threshold by alisvolatpropiis

This is the last time,” Stiles declares, just before he attacks Derek’s mouth with his, the kiss fevered and desperate, his long fingers jabbing roughly into Derek’s abs as he tangles them in his shirt. He pulls him close and walks them away from the front door, and in his hurried clumsiness, Stiles’ nose smashes Derek’s glasses into his face, hard enough that they smudge against his eyelids. It should be annoying, but like everything else about Stiles that should be infuriating, Derek can only find it hopelessly endearing.

That’s the thing about love, he supposes, even a love he won’t fully admit to himself, let alone to Stiles.

The Awkward Moment by stilinskisderek

…when your sister sets you up on a blind date with the one night stand you hooked up with three weeks ago who vanished without a goodbye leaving you pathetically heartbroken.

Maybe by MellytheHun

Tumblr Prompt:

my fave overheard on campus moment of all time was the two guys who sat behind me in pop culture theory

as class was starting one of them was like “so… do you want a blowjob after this” in a rly bored voice, and then the second guy was like [pause][dejected sigh] “yes”

Little talks by Vendelin

“Your favourite is here,” Danny says, smirking. “I tried to steal him away by giving him some extra attention, but he just looked uncomfortable.”

Stiles snorts, though he’s secretly pleased by his regular rejecting Danny. “He always looks a bit uncomfortable. I bet he’s married with a kid and a permanent guilty conscience when he’s here.”

It had been quite the surprise for Stiles to realise that he had a regular. A pretty young, hot regular, on top of that.

In which Stiles is a stripper, and Derek is the always-polite regular at the club where he works.

Moved on from Whispers by wishingonalightningbolt

He’s not dumb. Out of everyone in the school, Derek is second in grades only to Lydia Martin, and the only reason Stiles is third is because he’s taking more APs than Derek, so his grades are suffering the slightest bit. That’s why Derek knows, when Stiles arches an eyebrow at him, why what he said was so incredibly dumb.

Stiles didn’t break into Lydia Martin’s upstairs bathroom to take a piss. He broke into Lydia Martin’s upstairs bathroom while Derek was in it, because—because of reasons.

-0-

Stiles is tired of pretending like and Derek don’t want each other.

The One Where He Pitches And Catches by mikkimouse

Derek entered the conference room, spotted the table with “M. P. Stilinski” on it, and stopped short.

Oh fuck.

It most definitely was not going to be fine.

Sitting on the other side of the table was the most attractive man Derek had ever seen, with whiskey-colored eyes and pale skin with dark moles speckled across his jawline, moles Derek was very familiar with because he’d spent two hours last night drunk out of his mind and licking them.

R U Mine? by blackstar

It hits him like that - in the middle of fiery hot sex with Derek one night that he’s in love. It’s not lust and it’s not a crush anymore, he’s very much gone on this man above him, who is now stopping his rushed efforts to bring Stiles pleasure in order to look slightly concerned.

Never Been by Lenore

Stiles gets snared in a virgin trap. Derek to the rescue!

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Apartment - Part 1 (Jungkook Smut)

Word Count: 2,219

Summary: You moved into a new apartment. You have a perfect view of a neighbor across the building. You’re intrigued by him and watch his every move.

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Female Reader x Jungkook


“Hey! I’m just making my way in now. I had dinner with Rutuni so I’m good for tonight’ You laughed as you spoke to your friend over the phone. You managed to juggle a large box under your arm, a phone that was being held by the side of our head and shoulder and using your other hand to press the code of the door to let you inside your new apartment. The door buzzed and played a short electronic melody as you walked in.

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Writing is Hard, Part 3: Phone Sex

Summary: You and Dean try something in order to write about it.

Read Part 1 Part 2

Warning: Smut, dirty talk

Word Count: 3000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


“How many are we up to now?”

The phone rests warm between your ear and shoulder as you glance down at the screen. “Almost four hundred followers,” you tell him. “Not exactly famous yet.”

Dean pauses, and you picture him sprawled out on a motel bed very much like yours, just two states over, glass in hand and flannel shirt crumpled at the foot of the bed, undershirt clinging tight to his chest.

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In 2013, the percentage of high school graduates hit an all time high with 81 per cent. All over the world, there are more people than ever searching and applying for tertiary education.
Teen pregnancy hit an all time low in 2013, heavy underage drinking is only at 17 % and the number of children and young people in court is the lowest is has been in 20 years.
Over the last few years, there has been a revival of the civil rights movement, the feminist movement and the lgbt movement. Young people all over the world are more likely to be accepting towards minorities, individuals and foreigners than any generation before us.  

And yet, older generations talk about us in demeaning tones. We have been coined as the ‘me, me, me’ generation, as the ‘I want it now’ generation, as a generation of people who only care about themselves, a generation of narcissists. Apparently, research shows that about 30 per cent of today’s youth has narcissistic tendencies.
Now, one may say that every generation in history has seen the younger generation as reckless, disregardful of the future and lazy. But this is different. This is different because unlike other generations before us, we are not at one, but at many turning points in history. we are the first generation to grow up with the internet. Never has the world been such a globalised community, never have the borders of countries meant so little. Never has technology moved so fast, never has information been as easily accessible as it is today. We are the first generation that, if we do not agree with what we learn in schools, we can educate ourselves, we are the first generation that can connect with people from america, from germany, from china, from south africa, from brazil,  and build friendships all over the world.
But not all is positive. We are also a generation that may be facing more threats to humankind than have ever existed in one time period before. Global climate change, oil and other natural resources running out, and a new face of terrorism in the form of ISIS and Boko Haram. The global economy is falling apart, and is responsible for the fact that we will be the first generation to be less wealthy than our parents, that most students in Australia will start working already in debt because of student loans.
A world in ruins is what my generation has been saddled with. We’re the ones who are holding on to each other despite our differences and telling each other it’s good to be who we are, whether we’re gay or straight or black or white. We have to save the environment, end wars and find homes for the asylum seekers this system has created, we have to cure poverty and wage inequality and food distribution, and as if all that was not enough it is harder than ever to get a job in this society, harder than ever to pay for education.
And we are the lazy ones.
Why? Because we like taking selfies? Because we like spending time on social media? Because we like spending time with our friends? Are we uncreative and stupid because we are not afraid to say “I’m awesome and I truly believe that”?.
We are proud of ourselves. We tell each other to love ourselves. That doesn’t mean we can’t feel for other people. And what good has ever come of being modest? Yes, society sees this as the ideal, but are we really happier if we constantly deny every compliment we get?
As cliche as it sounds, I believe you must love yourself before you can love and have a healthy relationship with anyone. As for the claim that we are uncreative; have you ever seen the internet? It is probably the biggest platform for creativity that has ever existed, because, as trivial as they are, memes are probably one of the most creative things humans have ever come up with. Recycling someone  else’s idea, putting your own twist on it and making it your own is what human civilisation is all about.
Even if you only look at one platform, you see it bustling with creativity. Youtube culture has enabled every one of us to have an audience to spread our message all over the world if we want to, enabled some of the best comedians to have their own space and make their own material, independent from any boundaries a company or studio might restrict them to. 4chan, while maybe not being the best example in decent human beings, has brought up on of the biggest activist groups of recent years, anonymous. On fanfiction.net or archiveofourown.org, users write entire books, that are not restricted by age, usual genres, or any of the conventional book themes. All over the internet, there are small groups and communities bonding over their favourite book, movie, TV Show, video game, over their desire to learn, over everything. And all of them have such a huge creative potential, all of them create so much information every day that it is almost unfathomable to the human mind.
Of course not every person our age is a shining beacon of hope, integrity and creativity, not all of us can change the world. But we all believe that we can. And we have to. Because if we don’t, our world will never be saved from past mistakes.
And that is what I want you all to learn today:
We are not vain because we love ourselves, and we are not bad people because we like using the internet. We are contributing to the biggest pool of information ever created by humankind.
There is a lot resting on our generation, and the problems of the future often seem unsolvable. But I believe that we all have the potential to save the world. Love the person you are and the person you’re becoming, because we will be a generation that people will look back to and say “They did something truly remarkable.”

—  My speech for english
Wanna-One Hwang Minhyun Friend to Boyfriend Scenario!

Another part of the Wanna-One Boyfriend scenarios, enjoy! (You + Minhyun)

  • Let’s say you and Minhyun were longtime friends, bffs
  • Right now in college together, Minhyun is senior to you though
  • A completely playful and platonic relationship no question about it
  • Not that Minhyun would appreciate yet anoTHER girl chasing after him, anyway
  • You saw while girls liked him, he was nice, attractive and clean
  • (yes you admitted he was the epitome of beauty it’s not a crime !)
  • he doesn’t have to know that though
  • All the ladiez were jealous that you two were so close
  • Even though you two were literally just friends and that’s it
  • You don’t even hug or hold hands do skinship or anything (but you did know everything about each other)
  • (fears, aspirations, every embarrassing moment, secrets)
  • You did exchange “love you”s with each other though, but it was a family/friend thing not the othER THING 😏
  • He didn’t really date much, claims to have “high standards”
  • Went out with pretty, elegant women that didn’t overtly fawn over him
  • Your close friendship, however bothered most of the people he dated, leading a large amount of his relationship attempts to go up in flames
  • He didn’t seem to care much though, and never blamed you for that (even though you always felt bad)
  • “If they can’t accept my best friend then it wouldn’t work for me anyway”
  • You always gave him love and life advice (that may or may not be unsolicited but who’s keeping track hohohoho)
  • You taught him cute moves that he could use on his girlfriend, like brushing her hair behind her ear or conversation starters
  • He practiced on you sometimes because he is awkward and sometimes he got little flutters from the small actions but he always just thought it was because he was pretending you were the girl he was dating LOL
  • Very protective of one another, wanting the best for each other
  • You didn’t date much, for no reason really 
  • Anyway coLLEGE
  • Lots of late night studying on your part
  • You would hang out in each other’s dorm rooms cause why not
  • friendship is beautiful
  • Minhyun was smart and always offered to help you, either by teaching you a concept or by making you a snack or coffee 
  • You had done the same for him when he was stressed out or preparing for exams
  • wow look at this beautiful symbiotic relationship, mutualism at its finest
  • Anyway winter break rolled around, and you decided you would stay at the college in order to continue working, while Minhyun would go visit home
  • You both didn’t text/chat online much, so while he was away you didn’t contact each other that much
  • Anyway over the break one of your friends offered to set you up on a blind date (probably bc Minhyun wasn’t always hanging out around you) and you had no reason to say no
  • You called Minhyun for the first time over that break, and you guys caught up a bit before you remembered to mention that you were going on a blind date
  • Minhyun was silent for a bit, and then curtly responded:
  • “Good for you.”
  • ummMMMMM
  • You felt some cold air from him, but you brushed it off and just continued the conversation normally but he said that he had to go soon after
  • You didn’t think too much of it
  • But Minhyun?
  • He was startled because he had suddenly got angry, for no reason (so he thought)
  • He briefly wondered if it was because you said you were dating now
  • But he told himself he didn’t care 
  • He paced around the house, muttering hypotheses and theories of why he was having this reaction
  • Literally convinced himself that he had a medical issue
  • weirdo
  • When he returned from his break, somehow you two seemed… different?
  • You started going on more blind dates, mostly to just meet new people
  • You thought it wasn’t causing you and Minhyun to drift apart, especially since you weren’t as bonded with the other guys, and it was just going on dates for you 
  • You didn’t see it as anything more than that, just getting to know people, so it was no big deal
  • But to Minhyun every second you were with another dude it was hell
  • Every time you said another guy’s name or asked Minhyun for some advice, Minhyun felt his heart sink
  • He found himself caring about what you wore or if you looked too pretty or if you were out late
  • He was deadly curious about what you were doing but simultaneously didn’t want to know
  • Took him literally a month before he figured himself out (and it took a lot of internet searching)
  • Liking you had never occurred to him really
  • Not because you were not attractive or charming or even because you were best friends were so long
  • But because he had told himself for some weird reason that his ideal type was strictly someone more… quiet and classy
  • Not you, who was very free and open and lively with Minhyun
  • But that’s why you were so special to him
  • Because you two were comfortable together, and that’s what mattered
  • And Minhyun didn’t want you to be that comfortable with someone else
  • Suddenly everything became very clear to him
  • That how much he treasured you crossed the bounds of friendship, he wanted you for himself and he wanted himself to be yours
  • For a couple days, he kept these feelings hidden up in himself, because he was stressing over how he should act with you and what he should do about his emotions
  • But that didn’t last long
  • You were hanging out with Minhyun, watching a tv show in your dorm room one day when you suddenly remembered that you had a meeting with someone, not even a blind date lol 
  • (but Minhyun didn’t know that)
  • You got up to go to your closet, about to get ready
  • When you suddenly felt arms snake around you, stopping you from moving
  • Shocked by the sudden contact that you had never felt before, you barely managed to sputter out “Minhyun? What… what are you doing”
  • Without thinking at all, Minhyun responded truthfully and bluntly
  • “I like you. Don’t go.”
  • Your heart sped up abnormally fast
  • For some reason, this confession of Minhyun “liking” you was impacting you more than all the times he had said that he “loves” you
  • You were shocked, but you prioritized Minhyun more than anything; you couldn’t just leave your best friend after that confession, that was just cruel
  • You quickly texted the people you had to meet that you couldn’t make it to the date, and just sat down with Minhyun while he clearly told you what had been on his mind for the past month and a half
  • How ever since you had told him you were going to start dating, he got sad and angry
  • How he thought he was sick but it was just jealousy (you laughed at that one)
  • How he couldn’t stand seeing you with other guys, but he felt as if he couldn’t do anything because you never bothered him in his previous relationships
  • And this was shocking to you, it really was
  • He was aware that you didn’t have feelings for him (yet) but he wanted you to objectively look at him and give him a chance
  • All this atmosphere made you somewhat awkward, a feeling that you barely got with him
  • It was like that for some time, for days he treated you normally as he did before but you were always self conscious now
  • But over time, you took notice of all the little things that he always did for you; from making you snacks and giving you massages to always knowing what mood you were in and knowing the right thing to say, all the time
  • And you started to realize of every time your skin brushed his, and how you would blush in response
  • Or how you would be talking to him and then just stop because he literally had the face of a god, making your heart speed up
  • And randomly one day you jusT HAD TO walk in on him changing in his room (hits self why are you writing about this illegal!)
  • You saw him changing out of a shirt (thats literally it you just saw his beautiful smooth back which you had seen before) but it made your mind turn into alphabet soup and you audibly gasped and dropped whatever shit you were carrying (because thats what happens right)
  • Minhyun turned around and that arroGANT FUCK smirked at you and freaking got all confident
  • “Like what you see? It’s yours if you want it”
  • Your mouth dropped open and you just blinked at him, making him genuinely smile
  • But that didn’t last long because you ran up to him and hit his bare skin asking if he was insane
  • “Could you be any more shameless Minhyun??? Seriously?”
  • Cue embarrassed “haha”s from Minhyun
  • Everything was pretty much back to normal in terms of awkwardness (except for the becoming-more-frequent heart flutters and butterflies and blushes)
  • And one day you two were just hanging in his dorm room and fell asleep on his bed while watching something
  • When you woke up in the morning, you were all snuggled together, his arms around you, who were facing his chest (im dead)
  • You were shocked and started getting up, but you realized that you really liked the feeling, thinking I could get used to this, as you laid back down on him
  • I like him, don’t I. (YES Y/N YOU DO JESUS CHRIST)
  • You giggled to yourself as silently as possible as to not wake Minhyun but surprise he had already been awake for an hour, unable to fall back asleep
  • And the fact that you had decided to stay there with him in that intimate position told Minhyun everything he needed to know
  • He signaled he was awake, opening his eyes, meeting yours
  • He raised his eyebrows at you, and thanks to the telepathy of best friends you know what he meant. Is this a yes from you?
  • And you nodded in response. Yeah, it is.
  • And that was that
  • Your relationship stayed pretty much the same, except some added cuteness and skinship ;)
  • You were obviously still best friends, but now you were best friends that liked kissing sometimes yaknow the usual
  • You both understood one another so well, and were already comfortable with another, already knew everything about the other person
  • Both of you thought you were very lucky to have been in this situation, to meet and be with the other person
  • hehehehehehehehe adorable

Originally posted by hyun95

A/N: Holy shit I feel like this ended up being super long, hope that’s fine with y’all lmao.

also jesus christ he’s so beautiful this is ILLEGAL !

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on Justice League flopping so badly?

my thoughts on justice league flopping? well. *cracks knuckles* shall we? we shall.

let me start just off by saying that i love the dceu. i’ve grown to love zack snyder, what his vision was for these characters. his films are deep, his films have MEANING, his films are smart, they’re full of heart and depth. they feel realistic. he’s handled these characters AMAZING in mos and bvs. man of steel is one of my favorite comic book movies of all time. i haven’t been a fan of dc for very long, i’d say around a year in a half but in that time i have grown to love these characters and care about them very dearly. 

also, those are just my thoughts and my thoughts alone, but i know A LOT of people, dedicated zack snyder fans feel the same way. go on twitter, search around in the dceu community, you’ll find that most of them share my opinions or some of them. 

you might not want to continue reading if you haven’t seen justice league as im about to get into spoilery territory. the rest is going to be under the cut because there is A LOT i have to say. 

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