And that's how we know that HT really had an obsession with GS's lips and he couldn't HELP HIMSELF TO STIFFLE HIS DESIRE TO KIIIIISSSSS HIIIIIIIMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
AAAH YES!!! BUT AT THE SAME TIME IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!!!!!!
because now we have the irrefutable proof (if we ever needed one after everything that happened with she li) that what he tian feels for guan shan goes far beyond the simple physical attraction or a passing crush: he tian has deep romantic feelings for guan shan, he clearly said so himself in this chapter, albeit indirectly, and there’s no denying that
the words he uses are incredibly meaningful, especially if we think that just a moment before jian yi asks him if he doesn’t feel lonely living in a huge place like that and he tian replies that he is used to it: that distance between people he talks about, we’ve seen it many times before in the way he seems to be so popular at school and yet so lonely, in how all the girls want his attention and yet don’t know him at all, he knows this distance and always respected it, he never tried to close it with anyone, not even with jian yi (he made the gap smaller with him, yes, but it was still there, which is how we know that he tian never had feelings for him), but then guan shan came along, and for the first time he tian wanted to make that distance disappear, to close that gap
i love that we also got the confirmation that he kissed guan shan on the spur of the moment, because he couldn’t control himself, it really speaks volumes on he tian’s feelings, considering how we’ve always seen him being calm and collected
and now i can understand why he tian asked guan shan if he really found him that disgusting after the kiss: that was he tian’s heart looking for an answer, for a hope. it didn’t get it back then, because the way he tian went at closing that distance between them was wrong, but it got one now, after he let guan shan see that he cares about him and guan shan chose to shorten that distance, and next time, guan shan is going to be the one to close it
IM SORRY I DON’T KNOW WHAT IM SAYING ANYMORE IM JUST SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THESE TWO RN