i hope someone like this too

anonymous asked:

the thing you hid in that gonta confession is impossible to find unless I tilt my screen and turn my brightness all the way up gj 👍

sunlightschadow  asked:

3 and Solangelo (I hope I'm not sending to many ^^')

Oh, don’t worry honey, you’re not sending too many.

~*~

Number three: Love


“Jason? How … how do you know that you love someone?” Nico asked as he looked over the building plan for a temple. The blond demigod looked up from his own set of plans. “Is this about Will?”

“It is,” Nico admitted. “We’ve been dating for a year now and I … I think I love him, but I have no idea what it feels like to love someone. The last person I really loved was Bianca, but that was just sibling love, not real love. How do you know that you love Piper?”

Jason adjusted his glasses. “Well, love … I dunno, you feel happy anytime you’re near them, you know that you can trust them with basically anything, you feel safe and they’re on your mind a lot when you’re not together. Does that sound familiar to you?”

Nico thought for a moment. “Yeah, it does. That’s how I feel. I … I love Will, don’t I? I love someone. This is what love actually feels like and … and it feels great.”

An hour later, during dinner, Nico sat close to Will and waited to muster up the courage to say what had been on his mind since his talk with Jason earlier. “I … Will?”

Will looked down at him and Nico silently cursed their height difference. “I … I love you, Will.”

Will literally beamed with happiness. “I love you too, Nico.”

anonymous asked:

Might you be able to list all of the things you've needed to acquire since becoming religious? Different siddurim, candlesticks, havdalah box, etc. im interested in becoming more religious myself and it would be helpful to hear from someone who has been through it. Thank you and I hope you had a wonderful and fulfilling Shabbos and that you have a blessed week ahead.

Thank you for the kind wishes. I hope you have a great week too.

So I think this is a tricky question to answer as a single woman who goes out for Shabbos and yontiff meals. Certain things are also dependent on your custom. But I’ll try to do my best, starting with what you’ve listed.

  • Siddurim - really you only need one, though you’ll probably go through a few until you find one you like or you might outgrow one (either spiritually or physically). I used to use an interlinear ArtScroll siddur that only had weekday davening, so I had to have another ArtScroll one for Shabbos davening. Eventually I reached the point where I could daven entirely in Hebrew, so I spiritually “outgrew” the two I just mentioned and received a siddur in Hebrew as a gift that I now use for both Shabbos and weekday. I’m hoping this one has lots of life left in still because it’s less than a year old, but the spine’s already broken because I’m apparently not too gentle with important things, so eventually I might have to get one to replace it, therefore physically “outgrowing” it.
  • Machzorim - you didn’t mention these but they’re just siddurim for holidays. If you’re an avid shul goer, or have a siddur with yontiff davening, you might not even need these but some people like to have their own.
  • Candlesticks - this will depend on your custom and living situation. I have (had?) the custom to not light until marriage. So when I had roommates, they lit with me in mind and I was yotzei that way. Now that I live alone, I don’t have anyone else to light for me so I have to do it myself. I literally bought a glass tealight holder (just one because I hold that b’dieved, if I have to light, I should only light one) from a thrift store because I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on fancy candlesticks just yet, since most women get a nice pair as wedding gifts. But if it’s your custom to light as a single woman, you might want to invent in a nicer pair. It’s something to discuss with your rabbi whether or not you should be lighting.
  • Havdalah set - I don’t have a havdalah set because as a woman, it’s better for me to hear havdalah from a man. Again, something to discuss with your rabbi. If I’m in a pinch and need to make it for myself, I just smell cinnamon straight from the jar I bought it in so I don’t have a bsamim box. I don’t have a havdalah candle because I was taught women don’t make the bracha over it, so I don’t have a use for one.
  • Kiddush cup, challah cover, challah board, challah knife, etc. - as a single woman who goes out for every Shabbos meal, I don’t have any of these. I probably should have at least a kiddush cup for Shabbosim I’m too sick to go out for meals/have to make havdalah for myself, but I don’t. If you’re the type who would want to host Shabbos dinners with friends, then you might want to invest in these things.
  • Washing cup - you will need one of these for your kitchen and one for each bathroom. If you have the custom to wash negel vasser while still in bed, you should get a negel vasser set.
  • Mezuzah scrolls/cases - one for every doorway of your home, except for closets and bathrooms.
  • Tznius clothing or yarmulkes, tefillin, and tzitzis if a man (plus a tallis if you’re a Sephardi man or married Ashkenazi man)
  • Menorah
  • Tzedekkah box - though you probably could just literally set aside the money anywhere
  • Seforim (how many/which kinds will probably differ drastically between communities if you’re a woman, but you should definitely be prepared to get a Chumash and Tanach) and books in general
  • Tehillim - though to be fair most if not all siddurim have Tehillim in the back
  • Similar to machzorim, you might not feel the need to have any of the Megillos since you’ll be able to follow along at shul, but they’re nice to have
  • Anything holiday related (Seder plate, lulav and esrog, sukkah, etc) - all things you probably won’t have a need for until you’re married (assuming you go out for meals), with the exception of a lulav and esrog if you’re a man. Also I guess it’s trickier for men with a sukkah, a man will at least need access to one
  • Bentchers - although, like Tehillim, siddurim will have bentching somewhere.
  • Not required, but I’ve definitely accumulated a bunch of brachos posters (for food, asher yatzer, etc.). You can make your own if you think that’d help, I was just given a lot as gifts
  • Some people really like Shabbos lamps or at least using timers to control their lights on Shabbos
  • Essentially 3 sets of kitchenware

I’m sure there’s a lot more but maybe this is a good start. As always, someone please correct me if I’m wrong or if you have anything to add…

Housewarming Party (Daveed x Reader)

PROMPT:In which a housewarming party is held at your new apartment and you figure out if your feelings for a certain cast mate (the handsome Daveed Diggs) are platonic…or not.

WORD COUNT: 1,801

AUTHOR NOTE: Here’s another fanfic written by me. A cutesy one because smut is too early to write for me atm right now (unless someone requests it lmao). I hope you like it! The ending is like bleh, and I’ll fix the prompt the description later.


“Jazzy!” you yell from the kitchen. You open the stove to eye the pan of lasagna, where the cheese was slightly bronzing from the heat. “Are you making the alcoholic drinks?”

Jazzy, who was occupied in her room changing, yelled out a quick ‘yes,’ causing you to sigh in relief. You close the stove, removing the mittens that covered your hands and placing them on the granite counter. Eyeing the kitchen, you couldn’t help but think about tonight.

Tonight, you were hosting a house party for the new apartment you were sharing with your fellow cast mate and friend, Jasmine. Getting the apartment was a huge deal, and sharing it with Jazzy made the deal even better. The apartment was what you called an upgrade from your previous one. With a stellar view of the city and enough room to do whatever you wanted, you and Jazzy couldn’t help but feel proud. Before your last show of the week, you were sure to make the announcement in front of the rest of the cast, with Jazzy including the details of the housewarming party. Though you were excited for the rest of your friends coming over, there was one thing you were most excited about –

“Thinking about Daveed?” Jasmine asks, walking out of her room while zipping the back of her dress.

That – Daveed – was what you were most excited about. The (very) tall, (very) curly haired, (very) handsome man was everything that defined dream guy in your dictionary. For the most part, you and Daveed were good friends, occasionally talking to one another before Hamilton starts and when it’s finished. There were the occasional moments where you suspect each other’s more than platonic feelings, but it was hard to tell.While the both of you were on the same page of being friends, sometimes you couldn’t help but admire his soulful brown eyes one day or his full lips the next. While you claim that you have no feelings for the Daveed Diggs, the only person who saw through your act was Jazzy…

… and maybe the rest of the cast, except Daveed.

You expected for someone to tell him about your “quite noticeable feelings,” (according to Jazzy) but Daveed was still oblivious as ever – which is totally fine by you.

The last thing you needed was for your crush to run the hills away from you.

You roll your eyes. “Seriously, Jazzy, I feel nothing towards Daveed.”

Jasmine snorts and opens the fridge to take out a bottle of vodka. She sets it down on the counter and turns to look at with a knowing glance. Everything about her eyes screamed, “seriously,” in bold, capital letters. You scoff, turning away from her scorching glare to turn off the oven for the lasagna. The oven beeps, indicating that you turned it off, and you grab your oven mitts to slide them back over your hands. Opening the oven, you take out the lasagna and place it on the cooling rack.

“Stop giving me that look,” you scoff, ignoring the burning sensation spreading on your cheeks. “The lasagna is ready so it means I’m going to get ready. Don’t go overboard on the vodka.”

Jazzy shrugs, a whimsical glint shining brightly in her eye. “Don’t worry, I won’t. You go. I’ll tell you when your boyfriend is here.”

Oh my – shut up, Jazzy!”


The housewarming party was kicking off to a great start.

The apartment was suddenly full with your favorite people, making the place brighter and warmer than usual. Drinks and plates of food were being passed around while different conversations filled the air. You were sitting on the edge of the sofa, engaging in a lively conversation with Oak and Anthony. Both men were handsomely dressed in what Anthony calls, “causally dapper” attire – meaning jeans paired a shirt underneath a fitted blazer and their best dress shoes.

“I doubt ‘casually dapper’ is a real thing, Ant,” you laugh, sipping your drink.

Anthony looks at Oak, who looks back at him, feigning hurt.

“Did you just hear that bro?!” Anthony exclaims. “She just mocked our style!”

Oak wraps an arm around Anthony, bringing him closer for a hug, which Anthony gladly indulges in. As the situation unfolds in front of you, a giggle leaves your mouth. As soon as you laughed, Oak looks you up and down, his mock hurt still on his face. He quickly releases Anthony from their hug and gestures to his outfit, moving his hand up and down.

“Casually dapper’ is a real thing, Y/N,” Oak says. “You see this outfit baby? This is the real deal. It’ll be a trend, just you wait.”

Before you could retort to Oak’s statement, Jazzy interrupts your conversation. She leans into your ear, winking at her boyfriend, Anthony, simultaneously.

He’s here.”

“Hello, everybody!

At the sound of the deep voice that cuts through the loud room, your heart starts to race. You turn around to see Daveed walking into the living room with a bottle of red wine in one hand. Dressed in what Anthony and Oak would call ‘casually dapper,’ you couldn’t help but slowly drink him in. His curly hair was slightly tame, but still held on to its wild beauty. He was also wearing his glasses, which you loved deeply on his face. Everyone in the room cheers at the sight of Daveed, who makes eye contact with you. You smile at him, ignoring the rush of heat to your face, and wave.

“Hey, it’s my boy Diggs!” Anthony yells, with a wide smile on his face. He was standing near Jazzy, with a protective arm around her waist.

Daveed smiles at him as he walks over to you. He gives you a hug, and you involuntary inhale the cologne he was wearing. While inhaling, you could also smell the cocoa butter that graced his bronzed skin and the topical paradise that came from his hair. You accidentally cling on to him longer than usual, which makes you cheeks burn once more.

“Sorry,” you mutter, dusting off the imaginary lint from your dress. “Welcome to the party.”

Daveed chuckles – an earthy and musical sound to your ears – and shakes his head. “No problem. Thanks for inviting me here.”

You smile and start to walk to the kitchen, where you place the bottle of wine on the counter, releasing a deep breath. It was only Daveed who could make you feel like you were jumping over the moon just to keep cool around him. You groan, trying to push out the recent memory of hugging him too long.

“That was embarrassing.” You mutter under your breath, placing your elbows on the counter and shoving your face in the palm of your hands.

“No, that was entertaining.”

You look up to see Jazzy with her drink and a grin as big as the Cheshire Cat, and groan.

“You take that shit eating grin off your face.”

Jazzy snorts. “And why would I? To see you flustered over Daveed is the second best entertaining thing watch.”

When you didn’t answer, Jazzy sighs and walks over to you. Enveloping you in a big hug, she rocks you back and forth. As comforting as it was, it was didn’t take away your thoughts about Daveed and your latest embarrassing social interaction with him. Normally you could control yourself, but with him looking so handsome tonight, your chances of doing something stupid were greater than infinity – if that was possible.

“I don’t know how to control what I do when I am with him,” you mumble into Jazzy’s dress. “It’s embarrassing.”

“I know,” Jazzy coos. “But look on the bright side, at least you didn’t confess your true feelings to –“

“Hey, can you guys show me where the bathroom is?”

Quickly, you break apart from Jazzy and look at the intruder in your heartfelt conversation. It was Daveed, standing in his handsome glory and eyeing you with a hidden emotion. You smooth out your hair, which was a nervous tick, and look at Jazzy. She was looking at you mischievously, with a smirk played on her lips.

“Y/N would be happy to do it!” she suddenly exclaims. “Right Y/N?”

If looks could kill, you made sure you gave Jazzy a glare that would kill her on the spot.

Sure,” you grit out, and turn to Daveed with a smile. Gesturing for him to follow, you add, “Come this way.”

You lead him down the dark corridor that leads to the nearest bathroom in your apartment. As you walk, you could feel Daveed’s heated gaze on your head, as if you were a loud target. You gulp, feeling slightly self-conscious, as you stop at the door that leads to the bathroom.

“Here it is – mmm!

Hot lips were pressed against yours, taking you by surprise. Though you were surprised, you couldn’t help but relish the rush of tingles and shockwaves that flowed through your body. As Daveed’s mouth moves against yours, you could taste the mint from his lips and the smell of cocoa butter and the tropics filled your senses. Your eyes flutter close, the shock ebbing off slowly as you lose yourself in the kiss. Daveed’s arms snake to your torso, where he pulls you closer to him, your chests touching. Your arms suddenly wrap around his neck, as if you were embracing the happiness in front you. When he pulls away, your eyes were wide open as his big, slightly rough hands cradles the sides of your face. You stare at him, the shock of the Daveed Diggs – your crush extraordinaire – kissing you, still fresh on the brain.

“Jazzy’s gonna flip,” you blurt out.

A beat of a silence passes.

You kissed me.” you add.

Daveed chuckles, his dark eyes brighter than usual.

“It’s what happens when you like someone and you are now sure the feeling is mutual – I overheard your conversation in the kitchen.”

You look at him with confusion. “You heard everything I said?

He nods.

“For a while, I have been having these feelings for you, Y/N. When I was coming by to ask you about the apartment, I heard Jazzy say my name in the kitchen. Eavesdropping is bad, I know, but I couldn’t help it – I heard everything. The restroom was just an excuse to find somewhere private to kiss you.”

Slowly, a smile creeps on your lips. “I’ll give you points for creativity and the surprise factor. Although, the kiss was a little subpar…you might want to try again.”

At the sound of that, Daveed’s eyes darken as a smirk replaces the bright smile on his lips.

“Don’t mind if I do,” were the final words you could hear before he attacked you lips, causing you to dive in a bliss you could never imagine possible.

anonymous asked:

87 + taekook, please °^°

This is pretty short, but its pretty soft too. I hope you like it! Thank you for requesting~

87. “I saved you a seat.” + taekook

“Are you on your way, hyung?” Jeongguk’s voice was shaking, but only a little, and no one would really have noticed it if they weren’t someone who knew him well like Taehyung.

Taehyung gripped at his phone tighter as he ran, his brows coming together in concentration. “I’m running as fast as I can, Gukkie-ah. It hasn’t started, right?”

“No.” Jeongguk’s voice still had a tremor in it. “But it’s going to soon and hyung, there’s just so many people.”

Taehyung let out a cough, his chest restricting as he ran. His feet slapped against the icy pavement and while he ran the high risk of slipping and falling on his ass or his face, Taehyung really needed to get to Jeongguk.

Keep reading

There are days and by days I mean it takes up all the little tick marks on the clock where I wish I could come home.

And when they ask me where home is my index finger points all the way to a kitchen table that was never my own. it’s a little too clean and there are not enough chairs for what they tell me home should be.

I point to a bed. sheets smell unlike me but of someone who is so full of this feeling. windows that let in so much light. I’ve written about this place before so many times. the spare room bed springs, a big comfy chair, too organized, too perfect for the likes of me who lives in a messy haze of hopeless and hopeful.

And the hardest part is when they ask me where home is I cannot pull my aching bones back to that doorstep.

And really when I say all of this. I mean home is busy and can’t make the time while my time is filled up by it, and It’s not the fault of either side. I just wish I could tell you that you’re home to me.

—  homeless
Missing Valentine

A/N: So, the thought of a missing Valentine’s post didn’t let me go the whole afternoon. The post I received on Feb 14th made me very happy and the thought of someone else being let down is just not ok for me. I don’t know if it was simply forgotten or if the post got “eaten up” by Tumblr like some other posts seem to be this week, I’m not judging anyone. But I want to know the person who made me smile so damn bright, gets something to smile, too.
I don’t know if this is any good, but maybe you like it @hamartiamacguffin
(And I used the name ‘Mac’, hope that’s right?)

Word count: 1127
Summary: You receive a video call while beeing at your parents’ for a while.
another A/N: The “Keep Reading”-thing is still broken for me, so I cant use it, sorry.


You were sitting in your parents’ living room, your legs pulled under you and a book in your hands. It had been a long time since you last saw your parents and it was great being back at your childhood home. But after a few days of catching up with everyone, you enjoyed the short moment of silence while they were out.
Suddenly your phone was buzzing and you picked it up to realize it was a video call on WhatsApp. From Dean. You furrowed your brows. What could he want? Before you left he and Sam had told you they wouldn’t bother you while you were with your family.

“Why are you holding your phone into my face Dean?” You heard the deep confused voice of your favourite angel and a blurry blue eye was staring from your screen.

You heard Dean groan and giggled slightly, but they didn’t seem to hear you.

“Because you’re a pain in the neck, Cas!” Dean said and seemed to be waving his phone. He sounded really annoyed and you wondered what Cas had done. But it seemed like the angel had no idea what he did either.

“I don’t understand…”

“Come on man!” Dean growled, “Since Mac’s at her parents’ you don’t know what to do with yourself! And following Sam or me everywhere we go won’t bring her back any sooner! Just call her already!” It seemed like Dean was holding his phone by his side now, because you saw part of his jeans and everything else was upside down, including Castiel. They were standing in the library, as far as you could tell.

“I don’t …” Cas started again but was interrupted by Dean the moment he opened his mouth.

“You know what I’m talking about, Cas!” You were pretty sure he rolled his eyes at the angel from the way he sounded.  Cas on the other hand seemed to be getting more and more confused. He pulled his brows down and frowned. It made him look like an irritated puppy and the thought made you smile widely.

“I …” Cas started again but Dean cut him off again. It seemed like he knew exactly what Cas wanted to say.

“You won’t bother her. She never minds talking to you. And me and Sam promising we wouldn’t call didn’t include this. You could even drop by unannounced and she would jump into your arms squealing. Hell, why don’t you?” You blushed slightly at the squealing part.

Dean hold his phone out again, this time the camera was facing the ceiling, but he wasn’t finished yet. “Just get her these Hot Tamales she likes so much or some Twizzlers.”

“It’s Red Vines.” Cas corrected calmly, but Dean just ignored him.

“Or get her this blue scarf thing she eyed on our last case…”

“It’s teal, that’s her favourite colour.”, Cas interrupted again and your screen got blurry again, stopping upside down as if Dean had made a whatever-gesture, followed by a gruff “You get the idea.”

You knew you should probably say something, tell them you could hear them, but something held you back. Maybe it was because your brain was kinda stuck at the fact that Cas knew your favourite colour or that he knew you liked Red Vines and not Twizzlers. So, you kept staring at the phone, waiting to see what would happen next.
But nothing happened, except for Cas looking at the phone in Deans hand. You smiled guiltily and waved at him, making him furrow his brows again.

“Um Dean …” he started and Dean groaned again.

“You like her Cas, just tell her already.” Your mouth fell open at that statement and Cas shuffled in his spot, looking from you to Deans face (you supposed) with wide eyes. You swallowed heavily.

“Dean, Mac is …” Cas tried again, clearly not knowing what to say, so you ended his sentence.

“Right here and hearing everything you’re saying.”

“What? Son of a …” Dean pulled his phone up and staring right at you and you tried to smile ad him, but it felt quite awkward.

“Hi” you said timidly. “Did you really mean what you just said? Does Cas really like me? Like … like like me?” You couldn’t help asking, but Dean just opened and closed his mouth like a fish without water. You pulled your brows up, not knowing what to do next, just staring at your phone until it went to the normal WhatsApp screen.

“No way!” He had hung up! He couldn’t just call you – even if it was by accident – and say something like that and then just hang up! He …

Before you could go on with your thoughts, the sound of flapping wings tore your eyes from your screen. Right in the middle of the living room was Castiel, a stern look on his face.

“Hello Mac.” He stated simply, his eyes not leaving yours.

“Hi Cas.” You answered, putting your phone down and standing up to walk towards him.

You stopped right in front of him and as you stared at the angel, you could hear noise coming from the front door, indicating you parents were back.

“Can I take you somewhere else?” Cas asked, fixating you with his bright blue eyes that made it impossible for you to speak, so you just nodded.

He grabbed you shoulder and with a soft Woosh your surroundings changed. You were standing at a sandy beach that felt oddly familiar.

“You mentioned you like surfing at Coronado Beach.” Cas said almost shyly, his head tilted to one side as he took in your astonished expression.

“I did.”, you answered silently. You were in San Diego, of course. Looking around, taking everything in, you couldn’t believe he zapped you here.

“We can go somewhere else if you don’t …” Cas began, his frown clearly audible in his voice, clearly misinterpreting your expression.

Your head whipped back at him and you shook it rigorously, your eyes big and fixed on his face.

“No! I love it here! I just … I can’t believe you remembered. I mentioned it, like … once?” You didn’t even remember when you had ever mentioned it, but the fact he remembered tugged your lips up into the biggest smile.

Studying your face for a while without saying anything, Cas finally started smiling, too. It started small and insecure, before it deepened and made all these little crinkles appear around his eyes, turning into this blinding beam, that seemed to lighten up the whole place.

“Was what Dean said true then?” you almost whispered, scanning his face just to see his smile deepen even more.

“Yes, I do like you.” Cas answered. “I like you very much.”

I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me, too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.
—  Frida Kahlo
2


By  Mehran Djo

I used to think I was the strangest person in the world, but then I thought: You have to have someone like me, feel bizarre and imperfect, the same way I feel. And I imagined this person, imagined that she was there thinking of me too. Well, I hope if you are this person and you are reading this, know that yes, it is true, I am here! I’m as weird as you.

Hey you!

All of you who were being SO sweet and sending positive supportive messages last night because of that little thing I posted, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! That was so kind and beautiful of you all! I wasn’t really going through too much, I just have these moments that flare up from time to time, and it was a tiny baby one last night, but you all are just some of the sweetest, kindest people, and I am SO FREAKING LUCKY to be given the support you all give each and every day!!! I hope ALL of you have people like you in your corner when you need it!!! If you don’t think you do, reach out, don’t think you’re alone, cause I assure you, someone will be there to offer a helping hand!! There’s a bunch of sweet and lovely people here!

“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.” -Frida Kahlo

Rough Painting thing of Jacksepticeye and Pixlpit playing Astroneer :D This game looks so gorgeous and fun. I can’t play it on my mac but I can watch someone else till I figure something out. And damn is that rover jaunty it flies off at the slightest nudge. I honestly want to see what happens if you ride it in a sandstorm or if you can tie someone down on it XD

Should I lower the saturation? I feel like it might be too loud…

anonymous asked:

Any valentines headcanons for Victor and Yuuri? Like how they spend it together or if some fan sent anything crazy in the past (Yuuri sending Victor things every year but being too embarrassed to write his name as the sender??)

“Wait, someone actually sent you their used panties?” Yuuri has no idea what kind of a face he’s making, but he hopes it does the sheer disgust he’s feeling justice, because what is wrong with people?

Victor laughs. “On more than one occasion. Most of the time Yakov just sent them to the incinerator.” 

“’Most of the time’?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered,” Victor says, horrifyingly, then brightens. “I didn’t get to keep any of the chocolates people gave me—for safety reasons, you know—but the plushies were mine to do whatever with. I usually gave them away to sick kids.”

He remembers. It was SKATING’s December 2003 issue cover story. Victor had been in a white doctor’s jacket smiling wide while the two children he had tucked under each arm flashed peace signs. Stuffed animals were strewn across the floor around them like fallen soldiers. He’d taped it into his cubby at Ice Palace until Takeshi joked that they should beat Yuuri up so Victor would come visit him in the hospital. Yuuri seriously considered it. 

“I can’t believe you kept some of this stuff,” Yuuri marvels, holding up an actual wedding invitation. You are cordially invited to the marriage of Victor Nikiforov and Joanne Spiers…

Yuuri gently places it back into the box. Well, chucks it back in, more like.

“Oh! Let me show you my favorite one!” Victor nudges him out of the way to rummage around, eventually coming up with a little blue envelope with a sticker that’s faded with time and oddly shaped. Yuuri squints at it, trying to place it, when it hits him. He goes very, very still.

“I think I was… maybe 16 when I got this one? It was the sweetest letter I’d ever received.” Victor sighs wistfully and cradles the envelope to his chest as though it were precious, spun glass and lace, before handing it over.

If Yuuri’s hands shake a little as he undoes the katsudon sticker on the backflap and slides the piece of notebook paper out, Victor doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he notches his chin onto Yuuri’s shoulder to read it along with him.

It’s a little yellow, but the faded images of sakura still comes through behind shaky, painstaking Cyrillic penned to fill the page.  

Dear Victor,

You are the greatest skater in the whole wide world. I am a skater too but I am only 12 years old and I am still learning. I did a triple axel for the first time yesterday! I hope you are proud. Someday I would like to hold your hand and skate with you. We could do a triple axel together. Please wait for me. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

“I wanted to write back, but they didn’t leave a name or a return address,” Victor says softly, reaching around Yuuri to brush reverent fingers over the page. “Even with the terrible translation, it was the most genuine expression of love I’d ever seen at that time. I brought that letter with me everywhere I went, hoping I might catch a glimpse of that kid in the crowd, or even on the ice. Whoever it was, I hope they continued to skate. I really would’ve liked to have skated with them.”

The boxy letters swim and blur, spreading out until they’re vague blobs, and when Yuuri blinks to clear it, the page is wet. “It wasn’t terrible.”

“Hmm?”

Turning in Victor’s arms, Yuuri beams up at him through his tears. “The translation. It wasn’t terrible. Vasiliev-sensei at Ice Palace wrote it out for me and I spent hours practice-copying it to make sure it was perfect.”

He can see the moment realization dawns, because Victor’s furrowed brow ripples and smoothes out, jaw dropping almost into Yuuri’s lap. “You—”

The world tilts dangerously and skews when he’s tackled onto his back, and Yuuri laughs up at the ceiling as Victor presses frantic kisses to his mouth, his neck, the swells of his cheeks and the sides of his nose. He shakes with a giddy sort of joy, drowning under a wave of relief nearly fifteen years in the making, and reaches up to palm Victor’s face—a little older, a little more mature, but still the greatest skater in the whole wide world who was everything to a little boy once. Even more now as a man. 

“Thank you for waiting for me,” Yuuri murmurs, then leans up and meets Victor halfway.

do you ever just,,,

fall completely and utterly in love with a “fictional” character so hard that it hurts and you wonder if you will ever be able to feel this way about a tangible human being because surely that emotion can’t actually be possible when you feel it towards someone in real life… it’s too STrONg… And like you read so many fanfics but that little empty feeling inside of you just needs more and more and more until you have so many unfinished universes in your head. and you have these few people you just love so dearly and you cant communicate to, but you just want to tell them you’re proud of them in every single universe and you want to hug them but you cant, so you read some more fanfiction and fall asleep with it every night secretly wishing that “fictional character” was the one you fell asleep with?

cuz yeah me too