i hope she's the next bachelorette

things.

yesterday ended up being really nice. laid-back and low-key. birthdays are super weird so yeah I was ok with it lol.

i got a lot of nice birthday wishes, text and calls, i even got flowers and some very sweet cards. after school my mom and I went to the venue for my sister shower to meet with the lady and discuss the menu and I’m super excited. I really just want my sister to absolutely love it and I think she will. then we ran some errands and then later we went out to dinner with my aunt which was a nice way to end the evening.

pete is at my sister’s fiancé’s bachelor party this weekend and I know he’s having fun but I miss him a lot and can’t wait to see him already! they have already had some issues, only one hotel room, one of the groomsmen has an expired license and couldn’t get into any of the bars last night in philly, plus may not be able to get on the plane today to go to nc for the night, but i know it’s just part of the adventure lol.

today I’m going to my dear friend’s bridal shower. i’m a little anxious about it because I literally don’t know anyone else except her, but it’ll be fine. then after that I head home and I’ll meet up with my mom and my sister. my mom is ridiculous and offered to, or really, rather, insisted upon lol taking me and my sister on a little overnight getaway for my birthday so we’re doing that and we have spa appointments tomorrow. i am very excited for it!!

my sister’s bridal shower is next weekend and I’m really looking forward to it, and then her bachelorette party is the following weekend which I hope ends up being really fun too. I think we may have a little memorial day thing next weekend on sunday as well, like a potluck thing, since my aunt and uncle from massachusetts will be here visiting.

i’ll have to come back and write more about the naturopath appt i had this past tuesday, but it was incredibly helpful. it was very expensive which totally sucks, but I have to say it feels as though it was worth it. she was thorough & helpful and I’m looking forward to being on a better path to health!!

thank you all for your sweet birthday wishes here, on facebook, and through snap ( @elviajedelaesperanza sang to me this morning, so that was an excellent additional treat 💕), i love you guys!!

happy weekend, everyone!

Illustrated Bachelorette Recap: The horse whisperer

In this week’s episode, Alex gets the first one-on-one date, and JoJo takes him to the countryside for a gaucho experience, which is really just an excuse for the producers to make the poor dude look as much like Lord Farquaad as possible.

We watch an actual, professional gaucho work his magic on a horse. He lays the horse on its back, stretching it, rubbing its tummy, and whispering sweet nothings into its ear. I am learning new things from The Bachelorette, not just that all men are snakes and to never trust anyone named Chad!

I don’t know if this is just me hearing what I want to hear but I swear to god the gaucho gets up and tells JoJo and Alex, “You can spoon in the floor with your heads on the neck of the horse.” So off they go onto the grass to make out on top of a horse’s head.

“I’m your goocho,” says Alex, trying to be romantic. “It’s gaucho,” JoJo corrects him.

After a full day of horse erotica, JoJo and Alex have a heart-to-heart, where he confesses his love to her. Big mistake! She tells him that she respects him too much to keep him around when she likes other people more. Luke and Jordan, for example, who she clearly has more chemistry with, and presumably know how to pronounce gaucho, which we now know is high on her checklist. See you later, Alex.

The next one-on-one date is with Jordan, who spends most of his on-screen time trying to convince us, JoJo, and the other contestants that he is NOT entitled just because his brother is NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers. Unfortunately, it’s hard to believe him when this is how he arrives to his date:

The two spend the day stomping on grapes and drinking each others’ foot juices before having A Serious Conversation about Jordan’s family. Jordan tells JoJo about his strained relationship with his Famous Brother NFL Quarterback Aaron Rodgers™, and you can see the disappointment wash over JoJo’s face:

Next, Robby, James, and Chase have a three-on-one date with JoJo. The rain forces them to stay holed up in their hotel suite and you know what that means — it’s a bottle episode, y’all! The four of them play games like Pictionary, Truth or Dare, and Let’s Stuff 25 Large Wedge Fries into James’ Mouth So He Nearly Suffocates and Dies.

Later, JoJo and Robby have a private talk outside, where he tells her about his very, very recent break-up with an ex of four years. Like, four months ago recent. How is this even possible? Did they break up because he was applying for The Bachelorette while she had her back turned?!

Somehow this isn’t a HUGE RED FLAG to JoJo, who I have given up on at this point. I was rooting for you! We all were! She gives Robby a rose and she’ll be meeting his family next week, who I hope is as plastic waxy and Ken doll-like as he is.

The biggest tragedy of the night comes when JoJo has to send James home, probably because she couldn’t fathom seeing him as anything other than The Hamburglar after that french fry challenge. He cries, she cries, I cry — for Argentina, for love, and for all of those wasted carbs.

-DAMI LEE FOR THE VERGE

pirateherokillian  asked:

Okay, how about 'We met in Vegas one night and woke up next morning in a honeymoon suite naked, hungover and married AU' with Everlark. :)

Her mouth is so dry, Katniss is pretty sure she could grow a damn cactus in it.

It’s an effort to get her eyes open, sleep crud gluing her lashes together. But as soon as she does, she immediately regrets it. The traitorous morning light pierces her unsuspecting pupils, and she groans as she sluggishly lifts her hand to block it out. Suddenly, it’s like her head starts pounding all at once, and she whimpers pathetically.

How much did she drink last night? Forcing her eyes open again, she squints at her hand.

And immediately frowns when she notices the pearl ring on her finger.

Struggling into a sitting position, she swallows a liquid burp as her stomach lurches, and then she shakes her head. “God,” she croaks, hoping her voice carries far enough through the suite she’s sharing with Madge, Johanna, Delly and Leevy for the latter’s bachelorette party in Vegas. “Whose jewelry did I steal last night?”

“Uh…” A distinctively male voice rumbles beside her, jolting her awake fully. “You didn’t steal it. Pretty sure I gave it to you.”

Horrified, Katniss’ head snaps around to the source. Which is a terrible idea, because all at once her stomach and head protest in unison, and as soon as her eyes land on the man next to her—the last man she’d ever expect to find in her bed, again—-bile rises in her throat, and she swings back in the other direction to puke her guts out on the floor.

Peeta sighs behind her. “Quite a melodramatic response, Katniss.”

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It Was Always You Chapter 14

A/N: Hey guys, this chapter had been already uploaded but I took it down because I wanted to add a scene I left behind. Sorry for taking this long. Next chapter is going to be the wedding. I hope you like it. Thanks for the feedback I’ve been getting. Also, I’m currently working on another story but I don’t know when I’ll be posting it.

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