I'm really sad about something I don't understand and was hoping you could explain. Why do people block without giving a reason to? I don't why it first seems like it's all going so well then the next you're blocked and you don't know why or what you did or said wrong? It's happened twice now and to say it hurts is an understatement.
Oh, my precious Kabby babies. Circle up, it’s time for some firm but
gentle life advice from Mom.
First of all, unless I personally am the person who blocked you (which
I’m obviously not since we’re having this conversation!), in a very real sense
the short answer to this question is that you know I can’t actually answer this
question. You’re asking me to tell you
why a person I don’t know did a thing for which I have no context, and for
which there could be a thousand reasons.
So in a concrete, specific sense, my answer is: I do not know.
(You knew there was going to be a however.)
Social media is a deeply personal avenue for self-expression and it’s also a
world where many of us spend a great deal of our time, which means that we have
the full and free right to customize it into exactly what we want it to
be. The things that you post are personal reflections of you, which is why it bums you out when someone mutes or blocks or doesn’t follow
back; it feels on some level like a personal
rejection. But the space you curate is also a personal reflection of you. You have the right
to post anything you want and other people have the right to choose not to see
it. Both of those rights are equal, even
though you’re only on one side so naturally the other one feels like it’s in
some way “wrong.”
I’m speaking with zero context for what your preexisting relationship with
these people was beforehand (like obviously if it was a close friend and they
blocked you out of nowhere, you’re going to have to sort that out with them
directly, I can’t advise you there), but it’s important to remember that there
may be no “right” and wrong” in this scenario. It’s fully possible for
both of these things to peacefully coexist at the same time:
1) your absolute right to feel a little bit rejected and hurt that a
stranger on the internet made the choice that they didn’t want your social
media sphere to overlap with their social media sphere,
2) that other person’s absolute right to say “if something or someone makes
me feel even the tiniest bit ‘nope’ I am purging it out of this space so it is
exactly what I want and need it to be.”
They don’t need to have a reason. That sucks, when you’re on the receiving end of it, which all of us have been - it truly and genuinely sucks - but it’s also reality. One of the hard truths that incidents like this make us sometimes have to
face - and we don’t want to face these things, because they can feel really
icky and vulnerable and ping all the little gremlins in our brain - is this:
nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention for
anything you do or say.
This sounds mean and brutal, and I don’t mean it to be, because you know mom loves you, but it’s incredibly
important, so I’m going to say it again to make sure that if nothing else, this
nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention for
anything you do or say.
The celebs you stan don’t owe you a response to your tweet, just
because you want one. The people you tag in meta don’t owe you reblogging
it to continue having that conversation with you forever, just because you want
to prove you’re right. The fans of the fic you write for your most
popular ship don’t owe you crossing over to give you hits on your
rare-pair fic if they don’t feel like it. Nobody owes you a certain
number of followers, nobody owes you a response to every anon you send them,
nobody owes you finishing that fic you like in time for them to read it when
they feel like reading it. We owe each other one thing and one thing
only: basic human decency. That’s it. Everything else is freely
offered to the world, and freely taken by the people who want it. It’s
not a transactional exchange. If you make art or write fic and you put it
out there into the world, you’ve done a cool thing, and whether it gets ten
hits or thousands it was still worth doing. There will be people who
aren’t interested, but if you get hung up on feeling rejected by that, it will
Social media is personal. That’s unavoidable. It’s an extension of ourselves. When someone is cruel to you or to one of
your friends on the internet, even if it’s an anonymous stranger, it feels
shitty. When you express an opinion
about something and a ton of people reblog it and the tags are full of “OMG YES
THISSSSS”, it feels great. We all experience
that in different ways. Society has always selected arbitrary measures for young girls and women to
live up to in order to feel like they’re popular or they’re approved by the
cool kids, and right now it’s things like “how many followers do you have” and “did
you get an RT from a celebrity” and “how many likes on your posts”. So on
a primal level, maybe having someone you thought was a friend block you on Twitter or Tumblr hits you in the same deep core
place as having the cool kids not come to your birthday party. That feeling is super real! It brings up
alllllll that deep stuff we try to hide and pretend that we’re above
experiencing, but we all have those squishy vulnerable inner selves that just
need the cool kids to like us and we feel bad when they don’t.
I had this exact conversation with my therapist a few weeks ago when she was
giving me a hard time because my book has 60 reviews on Amazon, of which like
the majority are 5 stars with two negative ones, and I have both the negative
ones like memorized. And she was like “CLAIRE. WHAT THE HELL. WHY DO YOU DO THIS? 58 POSITIVE AND YOU CANNOT QUOTE A SINGLE
ONE. TWO SHITTY ONES AND YOU KNOW THEM
VERBATIM. THAT IS NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR.” And I was like “… . okay fine when you
put it that way, yes I do sound like a crazy person.” So like my advice to you – advice which I have
just proven I am absolute garbage at taking myself, so like I may have just
eroded my own credibility in my efforts to help – is to remember that you probably
have a lot more than two followers so honestly this is probably not a bad
collective ratio, and there may be lots of people who are very interested in
what you have to say but you’ve focused a lot of your energy on these two people and
it’s worth giving some thought as to why that is.
My question for you is this: what is the net negative impact of having these
two people block you on social media?
Like in an actual, concrete way, separate from those sort of core gut “I
feel unloved in this moment” feelings, what is the effect on your life? You might be surprised. It might be zero. In which case, let yourself feel those
feelings, experience them as valid, and then breathe through them and move on
and keep on doin’ you.
I’m pushing back
on you a little bit here very gently because it feels, reading this anon, like
you’ve made a determination of hurtful intent on the part of the person who
blocked you, or at the very least a certainty that this choice that made was
about you and not about them. That the fact that things seemed to be going fine and then they blocked you means you were somehow intentionally misled or mistreated. Be really, really, really careful
about deciding the cool girl didn’t come to your birthday party because she’s a
bitch who wanted to make you feel terrible and is sitting somewhere cackling at
the thought of your sad lil’ face waiting by the front door; maybe she didn’t
come to your birthday party because she has depression and it’s hard for her to
leave the house sometimes and she knew your party would be loud and wild and crazy
and too much for her brain to handle right now.
Be careful about presuming negative intent with no proof it exists. The internet makes this so easy, the internet
conditions us for this, and it
conditions us to respond in kind. The worst thing you could do here is to, like,
make a callout post or subtweet in the hopes that it will get back to them and
they’ll feel bad, or to sic your other followers onto them, because that turns
this into a situation that really does
have a right and wrong; and since you don’t know if they were trying to make
you feel shitty, or just went on a big block/mute purge to whittle their list
down for mental health reasons that are totally their own, once things escalate
you can’t put the horse back in the barn.
It’s too late. Now it’s A Thing,
when maybe it never really needed to be A Thing. And in almost all situations for almost all
people in almost all ways, Kabby Mom’s advice is going to be, “please think
carefully before you make this A Thing.”
This got long, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately about the
conversations I’m always having with fandom folks the way we let social media
permeate and shape our sense of self, in good ways and bad, so I apologize for
my verbosity but also not really because that’s how things roll over in Kabby
Mom’s Advice Corner. But I will sum up
in bullet points for those of you who have been skimming, to bring you up to
Everyone has the right to curate their own social media space
however they see fit, and they don’t have to explain their reasons.
They aren’t obligated to include you in that space even if you want them
None of that is an objective measure of your worth as a person or a sign
that you should stop being you on the internet.
Your feelings of rejection come from a real place and you get to feel
them, as long as
You are striving to move through them without permitting them to paralyze
you, and finally
You never use someone else’s choice to curate their social media sphere as a
justification for treating them like crap.
Focus on your positive interactions instead of negative ones – your friends,
creating stuff and putting it out into the universe – whether it be art, fic,
opinions, a podcast, gifsets, crackposts, whatever – and your social media
world will be a better place.
In the immortal words of the great Michael J. Fox, “What other people think
of me is none of my business.”
That weekend, Will received a message that caught him off
guard. He had been so focused on his conversation with Nico throughout the week
that he’d forgotten about Joey. At least until his name lit up his phone
Movie tonight? I can
pick you up?
The message made Will feel guilty and uncertain. A week ago,
the idea of going on a date was exciting and even a relief. At the time there
was no possibility of one day getting back together with Nico. There was no
urge to spend every waking moment texting him and smiling over stupid messages
throughout the night until Cecil threw a pillow at him and told him to at least
silence the phone.
A week ago, he’d wanted nothing more than to tear Nico out
of his heart. He would’ve agreed to the date without mulling it over so much.
Now, though, he wasn’t so sure. Going on a date now would
feel wrong. In the back of his mind, he would feel guilty because of Nico.
Because Nico was trying so hard to be better. He was trying hard to be Will’s
friend again. And Will didn’t want to repay it by going on a date behind his
Instead of answering, he called Joey and hoped to find a way
out of the date without necessarily having to explain his entire situation.
Summary: What are you, Ichabod’s past lover from the 18th century, doing here in modern time Sleepy Hollow?
A/N: A big thank you to @bovaria for helping me with this and looking it over for me when I finished and another thank you to both @elyshakate and @bovaria for continually encouraging me to do this :) Love you girls loads!! :* Feedback would be very helpful in deciding if I should do a part 2 or not!!
is there a rec of links for a beginner to kpop, like top groups or things to know. i can't seem to find one anywhere sorry to bother you
A Beginner’s Guide to Kpop
(aka, good lord i’ve wasted so much time on this)
I’m gonna introduce you to some basic groups and songs and terminology for Kpop. Be aware that I’m not an expert or anything, but I can help you out with some of the basics you should know if you want to get into it!
First, some words/terms to know.
A group, or band, is exactly what is sounds like. Most bands are usually either male or female (but some, like Akdong Musician or MFBTY, aren’t gender-specific) and usually range from four to twelve members (with some exceptions, like Orange Caramel and Seventeen.)
An idol is any single member of a group, regardless of gender.
For each group there is usually (but not always) a division of vocal, visual, dancer, and rapper. Vocals sing, visuals are the aesthetic draw/face of the group, dancers dance, rappers rap. Some members can fill more than one of these roles – for example, BTS’s Jungkook, who is a vocal, dancer, and rapper. Or MAMAMOO’s Hwasa, who is a vocal and rapper.
A bias is your personal favorite member of a given group, while an ultimate bias is your favorite member out of any group, period.
A debut is a group’s very first song/MV that is being promoted. A comeback is a group’s newest song that is being actively promoted or made into a music video. Usually comebacks are accompanied by appearances on music shows, or even full albums.
Aegyo is a Korean term for acting cute, making adorable faces and talking in a high-pitched voice. (I didn’t know what this was until like a month after I got into Kpop, and it left me so confused at the time lol)
A group’s Maknae is the youngest member. All older members are considered a Hyung/Oppa (a term that equates to ‘older brother’, shown as respect) or Noona/Unnie (a term for ‘older sister’, also shown as respect).
A Sasaeng fan is a creepy stalker fan. These are the people who sneak into idols’ dorms, who find their numbers and call them in the middle of the night, who write them letters in menstrual blood, and all kind of other nasty scary things. Don’t be like that.
There are some others, but these are the most important. That being said, if you do not speak Korean, please don’t throw Korean words around as an accessory. Show some respect for the language and those people who speak it, please. Don’t be that fan that’s like “OMG OPPA I LOV YUUUUU SARANGHAE” please don’t do that
Now, some top groups you should know about.
(To anyone who is already in the Kpop fandom, please don’t get mad or say I’m ignorant if I don’t mention a group I should have mentioned. I might forget one. Also, again, I’m not exactly a Kpop expert.)
The groups I’m naming are ones that have made a very significant impact on the industry, or continue to show strong success today. That being said, there are a ton of influential groups, and I can’t really fit all of them on here without it getting too long.
Some original, old-school groups to know are SHINHWA,Baby V.O.X.,H.O.T., and Fin.K.L. These guys are like…. some of the OGs. We’re talking about the some of people who started what’s considered modern Korean entertainment industry. This was arguably the first ‘wave’ of Kpop music, and it hit around the late 90′s through the early 00′s.
The next ‘wave’ brought some names and songs you might recognize, and this era is what people (who don’t really know much about Kpop) generally associate with Kpop. Artists like Shinee, 4Minute, Super Junior, Girl’s Generation, TVXQ, 2NE1, Big Bang, Wonder Girls, f(x), and yes, PSY. A quick youtube search will bring up the top songs from these bands – most of the groups I just listed are even still active, despite debuting in 2005-2009.
Around 2010-2012, the genre began gaining recognition on a more global scale. VIXX, EXID,CN-Blue, Orange Caramel, SISTAR, INFINITE, Ailee, Block B, A-Pink, BTOB, AOA, and EXO are popular artists that debuted under this time frame. This is when Kpop started to pick up steam in the global market, with more international hits coming from the Korean market (like PSY’s Gangnam Style or Big Bang’s Fantastic Baby, both of which you have probably at least heard of before).
Kpop has exploded on a worldwide scale recently, bringing around a ton of new groups. 2013-2016 has been a timespan of massive international growth for the industry. This has led to the debut of tons of groups, but most notably – BTS, Akdong Musician, GOT7, MAMAMOO, Red Velvet, Winner, Oh My Girl, Monsta X, Twice, Seventeen, iKon, GFriend, Cosmic Girls, and NCT. That sounds like a lot, but there are a lot more I could name.
That’s your brief history lesson on Kpop eras and group debuts!
A few popular/influential songs from some of the groups listed above.
(I had to pick and choose, because I couldn’t do every group. For each band I’ve listed an older song first, and then a newer song second. And it’s okay, you’re allowed to be a little bit freaked out by some of the older stuff. It’s okay.)
I’ve starred*** some of my personal favorites – I know it’s biased, of course, but those are just personal suggestions if you don’t have much time! I love pretty much every song on this list, though. I tried to choose songs that showcased each group’s strengths and growth over the years.
This doesn’t cover the whole Korean Music Industry.
There is a lot more to Korean music than just boy groups and girl groups. There are tons of solo artists, indie artists, and hip-hop artists that I haven’t mentioned, and the groups I’ve already mentioned are just the tip of the iceberg. But if you’re just interested in learning about the more mainstream Kpop, the list above is a great place to start!
Getting into Kpop can be a gradual process, especially for a non-Korean speaker.
You pick things up as you go along, you learn what is and is not appropriate to say. It can be daunting at first, when you’re just learning how everything works. Honestly, it took me months to get a firm grasp on music shows and comebacks and promotions and variety shows and all that kind of stuff.
The Kpop music industry is wildly different from any Western music industry, so if you’re more familiar with Western culture, there may be some things that confuse you. If you want to get into Kpop, please have an open mind and be respectful of cultural differences. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, but please do it respectfully!
Also, if you choose to follow Kpop idols on Twitter or Instagram, please be polite and leave kind/positive messages. If you look it up, there are lists of several translations of supportive messages (eat well, take care of yourself, i’m supporting you, etc.) that you can send in Korean, if you wish to.
Kpop can be overwhelming at first. Trust me, I’ve been there. If you’re having trouble with learning a group’s names/songs, your best bet is to look up member profiles on Youtube or Google. The most helpful thing to me was watching music videos that had the members’ names on the screen! That helps to give some face recognition.
(A tip – never memorize members by their hair color, because they change it up literally all the time.)
I hope this has been comprehensive and helpful, and I’m really sorry if I left anything out! If you’re looking to get into Kpop, I really think this would be a good place to start, and make things a lot less overwhelming.
Okay, I’ve been just started watching Endride and whilst I was watching the second episode I noticed a couple of things that hint towards Emilio and Shun being related, namely siblings. I’m not sure if anyone else has said anything about it yet but I thought I’d post my findings here anyway just in case ^^
This is a pretty young Emilio being given what looks like a dagger of sorts by who I presume is his father or someone of that calibre. It has a red dragon emblem on it which I also presume is the Kingdom/Countries’ crest.
Emilio is seen picking the dagger up in the first episode. He then goes out of his way to use it as the weapon for avenging his father, instead of his relic which would perhaps be easier to an extent, which further hints towards it being an heirloom or gift from his late father.
Then we have this little cutie, baby Shun, who is seen to be wearing a bracelet with the exact same crest on it. So, if Shun was born on the surface and had no prior knowledge of Endora, why is he being shown wearing something that bears the emblem of the Kingdom: wearing the royal crest is generally reserved for official royalty, like Emilio. This shot proves that he at least has some form of connection with the country at the centre of the Earth.
I also went back to the first episode to check a few things and spotted it here at the very beginning. As stated before; why would Shun own something that clearly belongs to Endora if he had never been there before?
Shun also has a huge fixation/interest in crystals. He seems to be very well known by the owner of the crystal shop who even comments that he ‘sure is obsessed with this stuff’ aka the crystals. The shopkeeper also seems to trust Shun to certain degree, allowing him to handle his wares without having to pay for them, etc. which further cements the fact that he is a recurring customer or at least visitor of the shop.
But what has this got to do with his connection to Endora? Well as properly witnessed in episode two, Endora is thriving with crystals. From their own crystal version of the sun (Adamas) to their creatures.
I guess the point I’m trying to get at is that Shun perhaps has such an obsession with crystals is because he maybe subconsciously remembers them from him time in Endora. Though after re-watching the first episode, it could simply just come down to the fact that his parents are/were involved with them too. I just thought that it fit nicely with the theory :)
Furthermore, the crystal that Shun finds in his father’s office at the beginning of the first episode is perhaps a hint also. It was kept in a special display cabinet so it was obviously pretty special, but more importantly, someone must have handled it in order to put it there in the first place. However, we see that the minute Shun picks it up, he is teleported to Endora and the crystal (having been seemingly absorbed by him) disappears with him. This begs the question of why the crystal reacted to him and not the person or people who had handled it prior, whether to study it or place it in its display cabinet. What was so special about Shun that it chose to teleport him instead of someone else?
I had a couple of bits on the fact that Shun can use a warp relic and his rapidly growing ability to use it but that was sorta shot down when I re-watched the first episode and saw him absorb the crystal, which most likely would have granted him the ability to use a Warp Relic.
Anyway, that’s about it just now but feel free to call bs on the theory. Also, if you guys noticed anything else or have a different theory please tell me, I want to know what you all think ^^
This is so shit and i know how fucked it is people once got ahold of my parents contact information and told them who I was and it's like??? I'm 24 why would they care??? Anyways I hope it goes well and nothing happens :(
I’m sorry that happened to you but I would DIE LAUGHING if that happened to me.
Anti: “hello Mrs. _______? Yeah I wanted to let you know that your adult daughter is blogging about gay boybanders on the Internet and she’s wrong.”
My mom actually shouting because she’s half deaf and also enthusiastic: “WELL ARE YOU SURE THEY ARENT? SHE GUESSED RIGHT ON JONATHAN AND LANCE BEFORE THEY CAME OUT. OH HEY WANNA SEE A PHOTO OF HER IN A JONATHAN SHIRT IN 1991? I JUST LEARNED HOW TO TEXT PHOTOS”
He’d been having the worst nightmare and woken up in quite an agitated state, tears running down his face and his mind in hyperdrive. Oh god…he’d so hoped he was well past these kinds of things , but of course, he’d been wrong. Clearly he had woken Lydia up because she was right beside him and trying to calm him down not long after he’d awoken. His stomach hurt and felt sick from trying to keep down heavy sobs, and his face felt stiff from half-dried tears. “Oh gosh…I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I woke you up…I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry…” he forced out, but his words were stilted and his voice strained.