i hope i spoilered this enough

being realistic, i doubt the devil is truly gone for good. but what i want is for him to be gone long enough for kara to gain some perspective. i’d like the distance to help her dive into her work, both being a reporter and supergirl. i want to see her realize that okay sure, maybe she misses him sometimes, but not as much as she expected to. she’s okay, better than okay actually. she realizes that she was with him because he was simple, fun, an alien like her. but deep down she knew it was only surface affection, and long run he didn’t have anything to offer her. and if/when he returns, i want her to be able to look at him and say that she wishes him well, but she doesn’t need him. she has her family, these people surrounding her who truly care, who truly know her and have her best interest at heart. and that’s all she needs.

(Twin Peaks post, but no plot spoilers or anything)

My only real problem with that premiere is that there’s not enough Angelo Badalamenti. There were a few scenes that I think might’ve played a little better with one of his tracks underneath, even just the paintbrushes-on-drums track. Other than that, this is pretty much everything I hoped it would be.

I’m too sick for this bullshit right now, Vilde literally didn’t say anything when she is not stupid and she should understand that Sana got out of the bus because she knows she isn’t the real bus boss, like wtf bro, also she’s been friend with Sana for long enough to know something is wrong with what she said, Sana doesn’t think that way, and I’m glad the other girls seem to see it, hope they do something about it next clip, now I’m going back to sleep cuz I have a high fever and a running nose and this shit is making me waste energy being angry that I don’t fkn have

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Blue Diamond icons from the leak!! feel free to use, credit would be appreciated!

hey wait but
merle said he left his family/the enclave because “they weren’t doing enough to contribute to the good of mankind.” he said they were too exclusive and only in it for themselves (”i’m going to heaven, tough luck for you!”)
the very next episode, what does merle do?
he teaches the people of fungston about pan and gives them faith and hope so that, even if they do get devoured by the hunger in a year, they “have some hope for the time they’re here.” and then he stays with them when the hunger arrives so they don’t feel alone or abandoned. anyway i love merle

A few more thoughts on Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (yeah, I have a lot of them): while I totally get the rush of “galaxy’s best dad!/Yondu did nothing wrong in his life!” posts and fanart (I do! honestly! Michael Rooker did an amazing job) that’s just… not the story I think the movie is telling, or the story I really want it to be telling. James Gunn is at it too, what with him basically saying “Well, Peter wasn’t a great son either!” in that Q&A he did…

…Yondu was an absolutely abusive parent, yeah? He loved Peter a lot in his own equally-abused way, but he was. Peter even says it, when Yondu demands a prize for basic decency in the first movie “Normal people don’t even think about eating anybody else, let alone that person having to be grateful for it!” He doesn’t know Yondu was never planning to seriously hurt him, he just knows that he pretty much grew up under the constant threat of violence (no matter how ordinary that apparently seems to be for Ravagers.) There were presumably some nice moments every now and again, since Peter does have a clear, maybe rather begrudging affection for him, but yeah, the point: at the beginning of the Guardians films Yondu’s not even deserving of a World’s Okayest Dad mug, let alone a World’s Greatest Dad one.

But that’s why his storyline in GOTG2 is so satisfying, and hits all the tropes I love in a redemption arc, because it’s entirely about Yondu realising just how utterly, utterly he fucked up (with both Peter and the other kids he unwittingly delivered to their deaths) and setting out to try and make up for it, even if that means dying basically unmourned (as Stakar told him) and unloved. When he’s with the others on Ego’s planet, it’s obvious from his words to Rocket that he doesn’t intend to leave it at all, but rather stay and try to regain some remnants of his honour by helping to kill the thing that killed his adopted son’s siblings.

And I love the “[Ego] may have been your father but he wasn’t your daddy” line, I think everyone does, but those would have been terribly disappointing and selfish last words. I don’t think Yondu was talking about himself, it’s just a simple affirmation to make Peter feel better, what matters is the apology he makes afterwards. “I’m sorry I didn’t do none of it right, I was lucky you were my boy.” Not a plea for forgiveness, just a flat-out statement really: Peter deserved better than him. All he can do is die to keep Peter alive and hold his face when he cries and hope that that’s enough.

…..And that’s just, such a much more interesting story than “he was secretly good all along.”

Playing FFXV
  • STARTING THE GAME:
  • Noctis: Generic snarky grumpy RPG protagonist
  • Gladiolus: Tall, dark, handsome, knows how to swing a sword, clearly has more common sense than the rest of the group - I like you!
  • Ignis: Generic The Smart One(tm)
  • Prompto: Obviously the pop-culture-reference-making comedy relief, meh.
  • AFTER A FEW HOURS OF PLAY:
  • Noctis: Omg you're a Disney princess, aren't you.
  • Gladio: Dude. Chill.
  • Ignis: Do you do anything other than cook and drive?
  • Prompto: You are a giant fucking dork. An adorable dork, but a giant fucking dork.
  • Aranea: Asshole #1, you are a fucking PAIN to fight.
  • Ravus: Asshole #2, generic Squenix White-Haired Pretty Boy(tm).
  • Ardyn: Asshole #3, you're creepy and weird but helpful enough that I'm not gonna discount you yet.
  • WHEN THE PLOT KICKS IN:
  • Noct: You are DEFINITELY a Disney princess, also you desperately need a hug.
  • Gladio: DUDE. CHILL.
  • Iggy: Like hell I'm leaving you behind!
  • Prompto: IF ANYONE LAYS A FINGER ON YOU I WILL FEED THEM THEIR OWN INTESTINES
  • Aranea: Never mind, you're actually pretty cool.
  • Ravus: Man, I really hope you get some DLC.
  • Ardyn: I WILL FUCKING FEED YOU YOUR OWN INTESTINES YOU SON OF A BITCH
4

it makes me sad to see people dismissing jumin’s affection in the valentine’s day dlc just because he buys so many gifts. 

not everyone expresses their love solely through words or cuddles. sometimes people enjoy picking out items that they think others might like, and enjoy giving gifts as it’s their way of showing how much they care. gifts are not inherently bad, and not inherently a sign that your love is fake or inadequate. 

some people don’t like receiving gifts, and that’s okay! it’s also okay to give gifts if it’s a way to express your love and make others happy! 

disliking jumin’s valentine’s day ending is not the problem. disliking it because you think gifts automatically diminish his feelings is kinda missing the point. 

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9. SILENT PRINCESS

There’s one! Oh! And another! The flowers we have in Hyrule aren’t just as beautiful… They’re also quite useful as ingredients for a variety of things. This one here is called the silent princess. It’s a rare, endangered species. Despite our efforts, we can’t get them to grow domestically yet. The princess can only thrive out here in the wild. All that we can hope… is that the species will be strong enough to prosper, on its own. Oh! Is that what I think it is?! Look at this! I don’t believe it, but I actually caught one! This delicacy is known to have very, very potent effects under proper circumstances. Tada! Research from the castle shows ingesting one of these can actually augment certain abilities. We wouldn’t be in a controlled environment out here, and with your level of physical fitness… you’d be a perfect candidate for the study! Go on! Taste it!

The thing about Fitz is that he never expected Jemma to love him, ever. When he started to recognize his feelings for her, he hid them, SURE she wouldn’t feel the same way. You can see the resignation in his eyes when he gives her the oxygen, finally telling her he loves her only because it’s the only way he can convince Jemma to take the last breath.

“I love you, you see?” he tells her in not so many words. “And you’ll never love me back. I can’t stop how I feel, but I can use it for something good. Please, let me.”

And, of course, Jemma has no idea to respond to this except for hugging him and kissing him all over. But when she misses his mouth, Fitz takes it as a confirmation of his fears. He doesn’t expect her to bring him up to the surface; he expects to die.

When he doesn’t die, he finds that he’s not the same man he was. He didn’t prepare for the effects of his hypoxia any more than he prepared to deal with the consequences of his confession, and when Jemma leaves, he takes that as another rejection.

The rejection of his romantic interest was probably a blow, but again, it was something he expected. In the end, it was her apparent rejection of his friendship that hurt the most. He could have dreamed up a Jemma who loved him back, but instead he imagines a platonic Jemma who acts as a bridge between him and the real world. We know that this is Jemmaginary’s function because when Fitz finds another bridge by way of Mack, Jemmaginary tells Fitz that he doesn’t need her anymore.

By the time Jemma DOES come back, hoping to pick up their friendship where they left off, Fitz doesn’t know where to take it. And he could have said, “You didn’t love me back, how could you be so cold?” Instead he says, “We were partners for ten years, then I got hurt, and you decided that I wasn’t worth anything. I was just a random engineer to you, not a friend.” Of course, it wasn’t a very fair thing to say, and Jemma calls him on it. She doesn’t tell him, though, that she left because she thought it would help him. 

Does he decide then to say that she should have fell for him, that he deserved her love, that he thought she’d been leading him on? No, because Fitz doesn’t believe any of those things. In fact, he never mentions it again, except in a very vague way when he decides to leave the lab. Even then, he blames himself and not her. “I can’t work with you anymore. I’m not as capable, and the feelings I’ve tried to ignore simply won’t go away. I need to go somewhere else.” He blamed her before, but he doesn’t now, and Jemma is the one who has to fight for their relationship. He leaves anyway.

But Jemma doesn’t stop fighting. She reaches out for him when Real SHIELD tried to take over, and she creates the plan to smuggle the toolbox out of enemy hands. If she hadn’t offered an olive branch, Fitz never would have thought they could be friends again. In fact, he starts to wonder if she wants to be more than friends, but after his awkward flirting falls flat, Fitz decides that friendship is all that Jemma wants, and he’s okay with that.

That’s why he doesn’t want to talk about what happened in the pod when Jemma asks to talk about it. Fitz is embarrassed and sees the conversation as pointless. After all, he has her back as a friend, and that’s what’s most important to him. So when he tells her there’s nothing to talk about, he’s telling her that he gets it and he’s over it. They can forget he ever said anything, as far as he’s concerned. It’s not until Jemma tells him that she wants to talk about it because she feels the same way that he decides to go slow and ask her on a date.

But of course, she is taken away instead.

He works himself to the bone getting her back, but when he succeeds, he clearly thinks they are going to pick up where they left off. He holds her hand, but doesn’t try to kiss her. Instead, he asks for advice on how best to help her and is told that finally going on that date might be the thing she needs. He lays on the charm but stops when she cries, reverting to the friend he’s always been. When she tells him the impossible, that there’s another man, he decides to go back to friend mode permanently. 

It doesn’t help, though, when Jemma starts to make advances. She told him, though, that there’s another man, so what does that mean? Fitz tries to back off and save his rival like she asked, but eventually they get into a fight about it. Jemma tells him that he’s being too good, and he asks her what else she expects him to do. He’s her friend and she asked him for her help, so he’s helping her. He doesn’t kiss her until she basically dares him, and even when she kisses him back, he assumes that it’s a one-time thing. She had feelings for him once, but this other man is clearly better, and he can’t compete. 

It’s not until later, when the other man is dead and he can barely live with himself, that Jemma asks them to start over. Then, Jemma carefully makes advances again. She knows he’s hurting, so she gives him time to heal while strengthening their friendship. When she has an excuse, she holds his hand. When it feels natural, they kiss. But still, Fitz apologizes for moving too fast, since he doesn’t want to assume anything. She tells him he doesn’t have to wait for her, and that she wants them to move forward.

So, they move forward.

It’s not until then that Fitz starts to believe that Jemma loves him, and it’s wonderful. Not perfect, but wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that he decides he wants to ask her to marry him. Only he doesn’t, because he’s not sure what her answer will be. Even after everything they’ve been through, he still worries that she doesn’t feel the same way he does.

And when he gets abducted and brainwashed into doing terrible things, he honestly thinks he’s lost her for good. Still, he’s decided that he can’t love anyone else. He cuts off all other romantic ties and resigns himself, AGAIN, to loving a woman who will never love him back. When she approaches him, he can’t even bear to see her disgust. No one is more surprised than he is when she comes and embraces him, and you can see on his face how much it means to him.

One of the beautiful things about the hug is that it’s a testament to the friendship they have and have always had, but Fitz still finds his ways to tell Jemma that he doesn’t deserve her love anymore.

Now, their relationship has been left in a very vague place, but if you look at their history, you can get an idea of what will probably happen: Jemma will fight for him again, just like she always has. Her biggest enemy is usually Fitz himself, but luckily, she knows how to get him out of their way.

I feel like it’s an important thing to point out, not just because it’s an important part of Fitz’s character, but because it’s been extremely consistent throughout the seasons. Fitz has issues with his self-worth, so of course he doesn’t expect people to love him, but he is also kind and compassionate enough that he values other people’s feelings over his own desires. Of course, he’s not perfect, but he always tries to put other people first, even at his own expense.

So, while I feel sad that this is a big character trait of his, it’s also something I love about him. I hope that one of these days he actually has time to accept Jemma’s love for him, but you know, this is a Whedon show.

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The next set of pages of my Prospecter comic, no title yet decided. Maybe I’ll call it A Couple of Garbage Fools or something. 

Potential Specter of Torment spoilers. 

Next pages up whenever.

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