we’ve got to stop not meeting like this - in dreams written under pillows for the night to forget in a single kiss of the sun, in faces we drink to cut the manifestation of life into a single entity. all my broken pieces spell out your name. all my tears hold my hand tighter than your eyes. all this silence reads better than the final scene of us. losing you has turned me a new shade of blue, and I don’t know how to paint anything less than my favorite. I don’t know how to not taste you in my coffee, how to use less sugar because even if its too hot, there’s still a slight breeze to my right. I’ve been saying your name in the mirror hoping that I would be better at goodbye this time, but you’ve been gone for weeks already, and I’ve been sleeping with a memory so real I can hear you knocking against my temples. darling, though silence and secrets are dark places that always require company, the longer silence remains untouched, the longer the miscommunication creates its own stories..and I may have put all my sand into the same castle, but belief will only drown you if you forget to exhale the bad. you said be love… like that could be easier than being human. sometimes when the clock passes me up and all I’ve been doing is wondering if I’m on your mind, I realize that I’m probably not. I realize that things have changed, we’re no longer the same. the words we tell each other, it’s all more memories to forget, some people look better in your memories anyway. and it’s just these fucking feelings, they stay longer than the actual person. and it’s just this fucking heart it keeps beating for you, and I’ve been trying to pump it with enough drugs to keep me going for another week, but that’s the thing, isn’t it? what we had? it was unhealthy, so here’s the truth about me. I need to let go of everything that’s killing me, I’d drink to the sound of your voice, but I haven’t heard it for so long, maybe it sounds like the waves crashing onto the shoreline, we’re worlds apart. we’re all a little lost when it comes to love, so maps won’t help us find lost treasure. lately, I’ve been feeling a new shade of red. lately, I’ve been feeling other things, it’s never you, but occasionally, I’m still stuck here, maybe it’s this depression. maybe it’s just me. I’m still trying to be okay, but if I don’t, fuck, I’ll stay until the very last second to find out.