i hope i got the speech right


The Get Down meme[2/10] scenes  
↳ “Um… I wrote a speech. But who’s got time for all that, right? So, I’m gonna just riff this. The super cool Persian poet Rumi once wrote: “Where there’s ruin, there’s hope for a treasure.” Now, the other day, I was up on 183rd, and this rich lady called it “taki”, man. But I talked to my man Tracy from 168th and he said: “Listen for the voice of the ghetto. ‘Cause it crashes down on you when you least expect it.””

coquel-iicot  asked:

some poly hamilsquad with a reader who has a speech impediment ( trouble making certain sounds, saying certain words, etc etc.),,? i have a speech impediment and i just ! love your hcs so much !!

boss’ memo : aaaa thank you !! ‘m a lil nervous ‘cause i don’t have a speech impediment, so please let me know if i did this correctly !

  • i hope you’re okay with having alex’s full attention on you, because he thinks every thing that you’ve got to say is important and deserves to be heard,, (he’s right, of course)
    • he’s always excited?? to hear you talk because you’ve got such a brilliant mind and he’s going to fight anyone who says otherwise !!
    • he’s aware that you might be a bit self-conscious about talking, so if you dislike being put on the spot, let him know ahead of time so he can tell them off,,
      • in general just let ‘em know what you’re okay with and not okay with! he likes to tease and make fun, sure, but please don’t be afraid–he’d never make fun of something you’re not in control of! (a page he’s taken out of john’s book, actually!)
  • john’s really patient whenever you talk, and please don’t worry–he doesn’t think you or your voice is annoying!! (actually, s’one of the most beautiful things he’s ever heard, and no he isn’t saying that just because he adores you) he wants to listen to what you have to say, never mind how you say it!
    • he’ll actually fight someone who interrupts you / talks over you–they’re not allowed to do that!!
    • he doesn’t know much when it comes to speech impediments, and while it’s obviously not your job to teach him ‘bout ‘em, expect him to ask you lots of questions out of genuine curiosity!!
      • though, let him know if he ever makes you uncomfortable with his questioning–after all, he’s asking so that he can make you more comfortable, and to do otherwise would defeat the purpose!
  • hercules might accidentally finish your sentences,, (though he does this with everyone, let him know it bugs you–it’s okay!!) if you’re shy, he won’t make you talk, but whenever you do, you can see his eyes light up,, even for the little things, like ordering food or answering a question make him proud!!
    • pray (or don’t) for anyone who tries to imitate or make fun of how you speak because herc’s going to do that specific thing where he takes a step and is suddenly in their face, glaring down at them with a, “run that by me again.”
      • once he’s aware that this is a problem, he’s going to be p good at picking up on it! nothing really shuts a person down like hercules mulligan (a generally positive person known for laughing loudly at pretty much anything) giving them a look and flatly stating, “that’s not funny.”
    • he’s also a big fan of just listening to you speak,, it’s often that you’ll find him with his head on your lap as one of you talks to the other!!
  • if you’re comfortable, laf would like you to sing to him ? just because he can be a bit intimidating doesn’t mean that he’s not listening–it might not always look like he is, but he is!! and out of the boys, he’s the most familiar when it comes to speech impediments and what it feels like to be unable to convey how you feel in a way you’d prefer,,
    • if you ever feel self-conscious, there’s something comforting about the way lafayette will say, “clearly they weren’t worthy of listening to your gorgeous voice anyway.”
      • as always, he’s on your side and cheering you on for anything you want to do–and no, your speech impediment doesn’t mean you can or can’t do it!! he has confidence in you! you can do it!
    • he’s really casual and won’t really make any accommodations or treat you any differently (not that the others really do, but you honestly can’t tell the difference with him) unless you’d like him to
  • in general, the boys will go off of what you want!! ‘cause everyone’s case is different, and they want to make sure you can feel safe and that you can talk freely around them !! they love you and your voice deserves to be heard just as much as theirs do!

anonymous asked:

Their wedding!

Everyone expects them to get married the moment Yuuri wins his gold, but they actually wait 2 years after their retirement. Between victory tour shows, setting up their official coaching life, moving countries/dealing with citizenship, and settling into being with each other they decide to give the wedding time. They spend the first year finalizing legal issues, where they would live, and nailing down necessary sponsors. 

The next year they start planning the wedding. Everyone thinks Victor will want a HUGE ceremony, but it’s the opposite. Most of his family+friends just went and got their marriage certificate with those close to them, and he expected the same for himself. Yuuri doesn’t want a huge wedding either, but he does want his family+friends present. Wants it to be traditional, and does a lot of it because he has great pride in his county, in his family, in his culture! And he wants to combine that with his love for Victor. 

They both agree no paparazzi though…but Yuuri pushes for a small photo shoot+interview which would release as an exclusive the day they’re wedded. When Victor asks why, Yuuri just pecks his cheek and say, “For the fans.” He’s come a long way. 

They end up going with both ideas. In Hasetsu (yes I’m going with everyone else and saying they get married here. Fight me on this.) they have a fairly traditional wedding. (I won’t go into specifics because a lot of it is religion based+since I’m not Japanese I don’t wanna just list things off the internet and hoping I’m vaguely right.) It’s gorgeous, they both write their own speeches, everyone is sobbing by the end of it. Victor with silent tears and stifled sobs, Yuuri ends up burying his face into Victor’s neck and whispers I’m just so happy over and over and over again because HE IS fuck.

Then in Russia they got “officially” wedded. The line is horrendous, they keep trading quick little pecks, Yuuri is a ball of energy, and Victor kept telling people “I’m going to be his husband legally in X hours!” the entire morning. The actual process takes about…30-45 mins? They’re both kind of shocked how anticlimactic it was. 

The honeymoon though….the honeymoon is perfect. 

Some of my favourite openings to Colin Firth’s acceptance speeches:

BAFTA Win for Lead Actor 2010 (A Single Man): [looking down at award’s face] Hello

BAFTA Win for Lead Actor 2011 (The King’s Speech): [grinning smugly] I like coming here.

OSCAR Win for Best Actor 2011 (The King’s Speech): I have a feeling my career has just peaked. My deepest thanks to the Academy. I’m afraid I have to warn you that I’m experiencing stirrings. Somewhere in the upper abdominals which are threatening to form themselves into dance moves. Joyous as they may be for me, it would be extremely problematic if they make it to my legs before I get off stage.

Golden Globe Win for Best Actor 2011 (The King’s Speech): Getting through the mid-stage of your life with your dignity and your judgement intact can be somewhat precarious and uh, sometimes all you need is a little bit of gentle reassurance to keep you on track but… I don’t know if this qualifies as gentle reassurance but right now this is all that stands between me and a Harley Davidson

SAG Win for Best Actor 2011 (The King’s Speech): I used to flash it [SAG card] around hoping it would get me female attention and- uh- entry into nightclubs and top level government departments and it… it didn’t… but now I’ve got this [turning award around] so I’d like to thank, uh, looking at who’s here… I’d like to thank security for letting me into the building.

  • Saix: Sees someone new has joined the organization.
  • Axel: hoe don't do it
  • Saix: *takes deep breath* Pitiful Heartless, mindlessly collecting hearts. And yet they know not the true power of what they hold. The rage of the Keyblade releases those hearts. They gather in darkness, masterless and free... until they weave together to make Kingdom Hearts. And when that time comes, we can truly, finally exist.
  • Axel: oh my god

anonymous asked:

why don't you explain how jily is better then (personally i liked snily more but only because I like characters that are misunderstood and dark etc.)

I like dark characters too, don’t get me wrong. just…. not snape. like I love bellatrix’s character (I think she’s badass even tho she’s crazy) Draco who is really misunderstood, and regulus who is one of my favorites. I think they’re all pretty dark characters. but anyways, moving on.

so you want to know why jily is better than snily? I don’t even know where to start.

well first off, can we talk about that I don’t think snape really loved Lily…? I feel like he had a bit of an odd obsession with her. how do I know? they have the same patronus, which shows that he was a little too preoccupied with her.

how else can you tell snape was just obsessed with Lily? do you remember when in the pensieve, in DH, where Harry saw that memory of Snape where he picked up that photograph of Lily with James and Harry and just ripped it in half? and took the part of the picture with just Lily on it? and he literally took it and shoved it in his robes? I’m sorry but that’s very creepy to me. I don’t know about you, tho. it’s also very odd how entitled snape felt to Lily just because they were friends before James and her had met.

anyways, okay… bullying. yes, James was an idiot when he was about 15. he was an arrogant bully, but keep in mind that Jily didn’t happen until James decided to grow the hell up. when he finally decided to move on from his hatred of snape so he can show Lily how much he liked her. So… technically, Lily didn’t fall in love with a bully, she fell in love with the person he actually grew to be. and James, accepted the fact that he was a bully and held himself accountable. like in a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. he grew up for Lily. snape- didn’t. he didn’t realize his wrongdoings at all. he grew up to be an adult that bullies eleven year olds.

also, keep in mind that snape did call Lily a mudblood, which in wizarding terms, is a racial slur. yes, he did apologize, but this isn’t talked about enough, and I think it should be brought up more.
and while all this was happening, Snape joined a group that targeted anyone who had the same blood status as Lily. he joined a group that targeted people exactly like her. so if he loved her, then why would he do that? and like Lily said about him calling her a mudblood: “but you call everyone of my birth mudblood, Severus. why should I be any different?”

okay, back to the bullying. so yes, James was an ignorant bully, we’re not ignoring that fact. we’re holding james accountable for being a bully which was completely wrong. but if we’re not ignoring the fact that James was a bully while he was a stupid kid, then we can’t ignore the fact that snape, on the other hand… was a literal adult bully. he bullied children because he couldn’t get over the fact that Lily didn’t choose him and that she well… was gone. so what did he do? instead of taking care of Harry for Lily to show his love for her, yeah, he uh, bullies him instead. and it wasn’t only Harry. hermione. neville. ron.

and neville’s biggest fear of all- was snape. yup. not the death eaters that tortured his parents, not some scary animal- nope. his biggest fear was his teacher. but that’s something else, that doesn’t really have to do with Jily, so I’ll get into that in another post if you guys want me to.

so I know what you’re thinking: “but he risked his whole life to save Harry for Lily!!1!” yup, while that is true, and it really noble and brave or whatever- risking your life for the love of your life’s child… he still could’ve done it without torturing Harry everyday. and why did he torture Harry? because Harry reminded him too much of James. so instead of focusing on his so called “love” for Lily, and actually trying to help Harry, he chooses to focus on the fact that he has more of a hatred for James- than he has more of a love for Lily.

so, now, back to why James was better for Lily himself.

can we talk about the fact that James Potter’s whole family was being attacked by one of the scariest wizards of all time- and he tries his best- wandless to save the love of his life and his son???? I mean, yeah, everyone talked about this, but I felt like it needed to be analyzed more. James died trying to protect Lily. if that’s not love, I don’t know what it is.

now, let’s discuss how the only reason snape was a tiny bit of a good person is because of Lily. for example: if Lily didn’t exist, he would’ve still been a death eater. the only reason he wasn’t is because of the obsession he had with Lily.

now- let’s talk about Lily’s happiness. snape, did not care at all what happened to the love of her life or her son, but as long as he got what he wanted, everything was okay. while Voldemort was planning to kill the Potters, snape, while he was still a death eater, even asked Voldemort to spare Lily’s life in exchange for James and Harry…. and what if Voldemort had actually decided to go along with this plan? so Lily’s life would be spared, but she would be completely miserable. why? because her goddamn husband and son would be dead. but it’s okay! cause snape got what he wanted!!!!!! so it’s completely okay now!!!! right?!?!

anyways, I can get much more into it- but I’m honestly too lazy. and its 1 am here.

so I know I dove way too deep into this and this isn’t what you were expecting, but I’ve been meaning to make a speech on why snape was a bad person for a long time ago and this was my chance.

so whoever read this, and got all the way down to here, congratulations lmao. thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed and comment your opinions too :) xx

anonymous asked:

Any ideas/prompts for Dystopian story? Please?

Of course! Sounds good XD If you didn’t know the meaning of dystopian is a place or time where everything goes wrong. I feel as though the Hunger Games, Divergent and Maze Runner would be a good examples of this description. The opposite is utopian, meaning a perfect world, place or time. There isn’t any story lines that I’ve heard that are utopian, due to the lack of interest when a novel has no conflict/climax and resolve. So dystopian, let’s have a look! I went for fantasy themed too, I hope that’s okay:

Keep reading

B l u e   H o l e

Requested: Nope

Member: Min Yoongi

Genre: Fluff, implied smut, heavy angst

Word Count: 8,420

Warnings: This story contains mentions of death, suicide, and abuse. If you aren’t comfortable with these subjects, you should not read it.

A/N: Okay, so this story is based off of one of my favorite books, titled “All the Bright Places,” by Jennifer Niven. I started crying while writing this, so it’ll probably spark up some kind of emotion in you. Thanks for reading Lovelies~

      Is today a nice day to die?

That question, that seven word question, is one I, (Y/N) (L/N), ask myself every single day that I live. So far, as you can see, the answer has turned out to be no. Or, rather than no, it would be “maybe, but let’s just push ourselves to get through one more miserable day in this hellhole, and see what happens next.” And I’ll never know, maybe I’ll go out with a bang, dying from something in a crowd, or silently passing in my sleep. Life is full of mysteries, and death is the only one that I care to think about daily.

      Will today be the day?

      And if not today - when?

Also a few other questions I ask myself on the daily, including today. The thoughts swirl around in my head, as I stand on the narrow ledge of my high school, watching the oblivious passerby that look like simple ants. I feel like I’m one with the sky, I’m so high up. I could just let the wind drift me down to the ground, I would make Marry Poppins look bad. I don’t really remember how I got up here - as well as what happened before this winter. It always turns out like this, my memories vanishing into thin air, only the smallest fragments being left behind, but never enough for me to put them together piece by piece. That’s what happens when I fall Asleep. Not necessarily as in the body function of sleeping, but something else. Here, allow me to explain.

      To be Asleep is to be dead. Not physically, but emotionally, as well as mentally. Think of it as being someone who has no emotions, no path in life. A living, breathing, human zombie. You cannot feel any pain, you cannot love anyone, you cannot hate anyone. You’ve basically gone brain dead. But, after what seems like a lifetime, you’ll become Awake again, without any memories of what the hell had just happened to you. Anyways, enough about being Asleep, and back to what actually happened this fine day.

      “Ladies and gentlemen. Is today the day? Is today the day where I end my life, with all of you here to witness this great show?” My speech only brought the common mumbles from the other students from below, the normal, “Go ahead, we won’t miss you”, “Get your crazy ass down from there before you hurt someone”, and the all too familiar: “You act like any of us care.” But, then came a few proclamations that you hadn’t heard before - “Wait, is that Yoongi?”, “What’s he doing up there?”, “He’s probably gonna talk her down. Poor guy, he thinks that she actually matters.” And that’s when you saw him.

      The Min Yoongi, standing on the other side of the bell tower, staring blankly at the ground.

      “Whoa there, hey, boy, are you okay?” Only when he turned did I see that look in his eyes, the look to end his life. I knew that look. I saw it staring back at me every day in the mirror. Shit. Good boys shouldn’t want to kill themselves, that’s my job. “H-hey, don’t worry, everything’s gonna be fine. Okay? Just step away from the ledge. I won’t hurt you, you’ll be okay, come here. We’ll get you down safe. Alright?” And then, the realization sunk into him, and I saw the look of pure horror on his face. The look that said, I don’t know how I got up here, I don’t know what I was thinking, but please, please, just help me. So that’s what I did. “Here, swing your leg back over the railing, and grab onto the bell. The ledge is too thin for you, come, it’ll be okay.” He moved in probably the most ungraceful way I could’ve ever seen, but I saw all the beauty that was held beneath this boy’s cold exterior, hidden under his head of mint hair, and buried deep underneath the left side of his black leather jacket. Maybe death wasn’t the only thing I loved. After he was safely behind the railing, a few claps came from the ground, and as I peered over the ledge, I was only met with the piercing and judgmental gazes of the other students and my principle, Mr. Wiele. I hate that man, that fat, stubby, ugly bald man. But, just gotta keep up my happy little facade and maybe I’ll be okay. Maybe. I swiftly jumped over the railing, to be met with the boy’s gaze, staring at me deeply.

      “A thank you would be appreciated, Yoongi.”

       “U-um, t-thanks… (Y/-”

       “(Y/N). But you can call me (L/N).” I beamed a smile at him, and I couldn’t possibly see how this boy was the confident, cool Yoongi you had always heard rumors about. “Well, you’d better get down there. Everyone thinks you saved me, because I just couldn’t get the wonderful title of being a hero. Go on, shoo. I’ll see you later.” Just then, my friend Charlie comes up. He has a darker complexion, and also gets laid more than anyone I know. But, then again, I don’t really know that many people.

       “They’re serving pizza today.” He says, as if I’m not eight stories above ground ready to kill myself. But, I’m not, because you shouldn’t kill yourself if there’s pizza in store for you. That’s just a rule. Well, not today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. Now isn’t the time, (Y/N). Not when you get to have pizza. I smiled, and looked over to a blank looking Yoongi.

      “Well, we’d better get going. See ya Minty.”

      “Oh yeah, (Y/N)? Mr. Hoarts wants to see you.” Ah shit. Maybe it should’ve been today. But there are a lot of people around, I’ll still have to wait.

      “Ugh, fine, let’s go. Bye Minty.” I offered a smile to Yoongi over my shoulder, only to be met with an empty gaze. So much for a thank you.

      “Do you think this is some kind of joke, (L/N)?” Mr. Hoarts’s voice seemed to bounce off the walls, and god, I hate his voice. It’s so annoying and whiny and ugh, he’s just terrible.

      “No, sir.”

      “Do you think your death is some kind of joke?”

      Yes. “No, sir.”

      “Do you think your family would be okay? And that they wouldn’t miss you?”

      They wouldn’t give a single shit, they’d probably be glad that I left their lives. These thoughts started racing through my head too, and soon it would be too much of a hassle to answer these questions because he knows that what I’m thinking is true, and he also knows that I know that he’s secretly reading these questions off of a pamphlet under his desk. “I’m sure they would miss me, sir.” A sigh left his lips. His ugly, hideous, disgustingly chapped lips. No wonder he’s single. He leans over the desk, his hands now crossed and setting on a few papers, which looked like forms for some depression pills, which, surprisingly, aren’t prescribed for me. But I guess I already have some. He was too close for comfort, even though there was quite a distance between us. If the distance isn’t the problem, maybe it’s the fucking garlic bagel he had for breakfast. God, did you just eat a full clove? Learn how to brush your damn teeth! You need a mint? I got some of those. Some gum? Got that too. Anything man, just please, you smell like a dog’s asshole.

      “(Y/N), you’re a good girl.” Ew. “You have a lot to live for, and you don’t need to squander it by making bad decisions, and you surely don’t need to end it. I care about you, kid.” Ew. Again. And, that’s also one of the biggest lies I’ve ever heard. That, and the fact that my dad loves me. That right there is pure bullshit. But so is this speech. “Don’t kill yourself. Okay?”

      “Yes, sir.” I hope he knows that’s the best answer he’s gonna get. Another sigh, and he leans back in his chair.

      “You’re free to go. I don’t wanna see you back in here for a long while, (L/N).”

      “Yes, sir.” And I left. He never once mentioned Yoongi, and I’m relieved.

       By lunch, the news that Min Yoongi had saved (Y/N) (L/N) from jumping off of the bell tower to her death was all around the entire school.. On my way to the cafeteria, coming from English Literature, I got caught up behind this group of girls who were talking about it. You know, the girls who talk really high-pitched, and at the end of every statement they say, their pitch raises just a bit more and makes it sound like a question. So, like, I heard she had a gun? And like, Yoongi had to wrestle it out of her hands? And, she was, like, about to shoot him? Okay, so apparently I’m all tragic and dangerous now. Oh yeah, I think. Totally.

       “So, tell me the scoop on the Yoongi dude.” I shove a piece of pizza into my mouth as I say that, looking over at Charlie and my other friend Violet expectantly.

      “Don’t you both have like, five classes together?”

      “What, do you think I actually talk to him? Today marks the first day he’s ever even glanced in my general direction, even if I did just talk him out of killing himself. He’s with the cool kids, right?” Their hums of approval urged me forward, realizing he’s had a few scarring incidents of his own. “Oh… wait, he was the one with the brother who got in a car crash, right? Last winter?” More hums. “Ahhhh… So I’m guessing today means something important to him, if he’s just now going to the ledge. Besides pizza, I mean. That’s important to everyone.” Now an eye roll from both of them. “Well if you two aren’t gonna be any help, I’ll just head to class early then.” I picked up all my shit and saluted to them both as I threw my trash away and sauntered out from the lunch hall.   

      I get to my U.S. Geography classroom, feeling some emotions, like power, excitement, invincibility, and strangely, exhilaration, as if I just escaped, well, death. I look around, and no one is paying attention to me, nor our teacher Mr. Scizer, who is literally the largest man I have ever laid my eyes on. He has a beet red face, that makes him look like he’s always on the verge of having a heatstroke or a heart attack. Which, he probably is. And his has this wheeze when he talks, and even when he breathes. 

      We’re doing some sort of “Exploring Indiana” unit, where students have to actually get off of their lazy asses and get out of their houses for once. It was also a way for kids to, “Learn more about our glorious state and discover all of the beautiful things it holds.” A quote from Mr. Scizer, except without the wheezing and breathy pauses he had to take. No joke.

      A noise somewhere across the room stops his speech, possibly the sound of a boy dropping his book on the floor. He bends down to pick it up, which then upsets the rest of his books and causing them all to tumble to the ground. A quiet, “Goddamn it,” leaves the boy’s lips as he grabs everything from the floor. This is all followed by laughter, because we’re in high school, and apparently this shit is supposed to be funny. The boy who dropped his books is Min Yoongi, as in the one I saved from plummeting to his death on the bell tower. I can see the slight glimmer of annoyance in his dark chocolate orbs. Not the, ‘You-are-all-so-damn-annoying-and-I’m-about-to-just-walk-out’ kind, but more like the ‘I’m-about-to-die-from-embarrassment-right-now-and-if-you-all-don’t-shut-the-hell-up-I-will-kill-you’ kind. I have felt this many times before, and, seeing as Yoongi is about one dropped pencil away from strangling someone, I knock one of my own books down. All eyes are on me. Leaning over to grab it, I purposely shove the others off my desk, followed by more laughter and the normal, “Nice job, freak” from the school’s biggest dick - Gage Raymond.

      “If you’re… Done… Miss (Y/N)… I would like… To… Continue.” I settle back into my chair, take a bow, and offer a wink and a smile to Yoongi. I see the slightest upturn of his lips, before he turns back to the front of the class, and I immediately feel so much better. 

      Mr. Scizer fixes his gaze on Yoongi, then on me, back to Yoongi, back to me, and finally, onto the blackboard behind him.  He picks up a piece of chalk and scribes out the words, “Wander the Wonders”. He’s really bad at titles.

      “As I… Was saying… You all need to… Wander around Indiana… In pairs as you… Discover the beauties… Of our state… Together.” He goes on to ramble about how we can choose wherever we would like to go, and however we would like to do it. We also have to try to find out ways they all relate, and we have to document the fact that we actually went there with videos and pictures, along with a ten page essay. “This assignment… Will be worth… Forty-five percent… Of your final grade.”

      I raise my hand.


      “Do we get to choose out partners?”


      “I choose Yoongi.”

      “You can both… Work that… Out… After class is… Dismissed.” After class it is then, I mouth to him. And he smiles. Again. I made him smile.

      As per usual, Gage Raymond blocks my way from getting out of this hellhole.

      Raymond says, “I’d better not catch you looking at me again.” I try not to laugh at this, because I know if I do, it’ll start a fistfight.

      “I wasn’t looking at you. Trust me, there are about a million other thing I would rather look at, including Mr. Scizer’s large, naked ass.”

      “Fag.” Breathe, (Y/N). Count. He isn’t worth the effort to kill. Just count. You’ll be fine. One, two, three… And that little voice inside my head was right. He wasn’t worth any kind of effort, especially the kind that would go into having to distract everyone, kill him silently, drag him off somewhere, and act innocent. Instead, I plastered this dumb, sweet smile on my face as I looked up at him and said,

      “I’m glad you know who you truly are.” And I walked out.

      At home, I jump onto my computer and do something I’ve never done - make a social media account. I create a Facebook name, post a profile pic, and go straight to Yoongi’s page. I send a friend request, and I wait. Then, a few minutes later, I’m suddenly engrossed in a conversation with him on where we should visit for the project, actually being accepted by someone for once in my life. 

      After skipping dinner, the conversation suddenly got a bit too deep.

Me: So, why exactly were you on the bell tower today?

Yoongi: Well, today would’ve been my brother’s 19th birthday. He always said some shit about how he was gonna wreck the whole town on this night, and he’d bring me with him.

Me: Oh, that makes a bit more sense. You just didn’t seem like the person who would want to.. Y’know… Kill themselves.

Yoongi: Well, what about you? Why were you up there??

Me: Oh, I was going to jump, but it was too public, too crowded, and it was probably gonna be too messy. Then I saw you, and I thought, “Oh shit, we don’t need the janitor working overtime.”

Yoongi: Shit, I’m sorry for asking…

Me: Nah, it’s fine Minty.

Yoongi: “MINTY”???


Yoongi: Oh my fucking god, you’re the only person I will ever let call me that.

Me: I feel honored, Sir Yoonglz.

Yoongi: oKAY, goodnight (N/N)


Yoongi: and sweet dreams to you too.

      And now, now that I’m still here, that I’m still alive, that I’m still Awake, I’m actually happy. Because I may have never fallen in love with this boy if I wasn’t. 

      “So not today,” I sing, “I won’t leave yet, because he smiled at me.”

      Yoongi and (Y/N)’s Rules for Wandering

  1. There are no rules. Life is one big rule as is.
  2. But, there are guidelines. (What? They sound less strict, okay?)

           a) No using phones or a GPS to get us there. All maps. (and the occasional civilian) 

           b) We alternate who chooses where we go, but we also have to just go with the flow of where the road takes us. But, no matter what, under any circumstance, can the spot be ordinary.

           c) At every spot, we have to leave something of ours behind, kinda like an offering. And, if we’d like, we can use it as an exchange, and take something with us from the spot.

      I clamber into my old pickup, better known as Combine, because this baby could plow through anything. It’s the middle of the night, and I step on the gas as hard as I can. And off I go. My foot is pressed down against the floor of the truck, the sudden urge to go faster hitting me like a bullet. Faster, and faster, and faster, I speed out of the town and fly down the gravel roads. The speedometer climbs up higher and higher, a joyous feeling as I see the needle shaking, and going to it’s furthest point. And then I let loose. I slow to a stop, and I turn around. Now I’m on my way to Yoongi’s house.

      I make it back there in about five minutes, and I park the truck halfway down the street so I don’t look too suspicious. As I come up to his house, I grab a few pebbles from the street and fling them at his window. After seeing no sign of him, I climbed up the vines and hopped through his window. That surely woke him up, because I immediately see him shoot up and pull out a hunting knife.

      “God fuckin- Shit, (Y/N)!  I was about to fucking stab you!” I fall onto the edge of his bed laughing and clutching my stomach, clawing at the fabric of my thin shirt. “Stop laughing!” I could hear how his smile was slowly spreading over his features, and lighting up his eyes as a quiet chuckle escaped his lips. 

      “I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who has a knife at hand while they’re sleeping.” At this, a wide, adorable gummy smile pulls at his mouth, and I didn’t know any kind of disease or sickness that could possibly be more infectious than that damn smile.

      “That makes two of us. But anyways, what are you doing here?” I smiled again, and chucked a shirt and some sweatpants at him after noticing that he was completely naked, save for a pair of boxers that were loosely hanging around his waist. 

      “We are going wandering. Chop chop, leave a note or something, and off we go.” I threw some shoes and socks onto his bed, slipped into a sweatshirt of his, and quickly pulled him out of the window before he could tie his shoes. “Hurry up and climb, I’ll race ya to the truck!” With that, I bolted off down the street, sprinting in the middle of the road. Surprisingly, he caught up and and beat me to the truck. We both jumped in, and we sped off to my special place, my safe place, the Blue Hole.

      I could see his head turn to admire me, and I tried to hide the enormous grin that was bound to paint itself on my face. “So… Where exactly are we going?” Oh, I think, there’s the grin. I crank up the radio so the music carries its way out of the window, and I laugh when I look over to him. Who would’ve known that he could look so beautiful in the moonlight?

      I lean over and peck his cheek as I look back at the road ahead of us, Combine, my mind, and my heart, all racing at the same time. “The Blue Hole!!” I have to yell in order for him to hear me over the radio, but fuck, it feels so good to be able to yell. “It’s my safe spot, it’s like- Y’know what, you’ll see when we get there!!!” I smile over at him again, and it’s like the entire world only consists of us, this truck, and this road.

      We get there at the crack of dawn, the sunrise painting the sky in an array of vibrant colors, like violet, blue, orange, and various other shades. I turn over to Yoongi, smiling from ear to ear. “Okay, so this is the Blue Hole. It’s a quarry with on of those trenches in it, where if can be eight feet deep for one foot and then suddenly you’re sinking down into a hole of a deep blue abyss. So, I named it that because it’s kinda like a black hole, only with water, sucking you down deeper and deeper. So yeah, come on!!~” I put Combine in park, get out and slam the door shut, rip off my clothes, and dive in.

      “(Y/N), WAIT!!!!” I can hear Yoongi’s distressed cry even from how deep I am. I must be at least twenty feet down. I stay down there for around five or six minutes, seeing how long I could stay. I’m used to practicing at home, in the bath or just out of water. Being surrounded my the liquid made it all different. My lungs are screaming for air, trying to claw and grasp at the faintest molecule for any sign of relief. My eyelids are slowly drooping, and the light from the surface seems to be slowly fading. I swim up, up, up, to the point where I think this is all a dream, one repetitive motion, and I’ve really been Asleep this whole time. After what seems like an eternity, air gets sucked into my lungs as I gasp for it, trying to shake the black dots away that are littering my vision. I swim to the side where I can stand, and I look up to be crushed in a giant hug.

      “Y-you bitch… God… I-I thought you were dead… I though you left me…” His voice cracked as many times as possible, and I heard how broken he was. He cares for me, I thought. He missed me. He was worried. I slowly move my arms up, ignoring how my muscles were pleading for rest, feeling like sandbags were tied to my wrists. My fingers dance through his hair, closing my eyes to soak up this moment. He really does care. I squeeze my eyes shut and croak out, noticing how dry and harsh my voice sounded, knowing it would stay that way for a few days. 

      “… I-I’m so sorry, Yoongi…” I didn’t realize that I was crying until the salty liquid hit the corner of my lips. “I’m so, so sorr-” I couldn’t hear my voice anymore, but I could feel the soothing feeling of his lips on mine. He hoisted me up and carried me out of the water, my legs instantly wrapped around his waste as he walked back up the trail to Combine. I had already had a thick comforter in the flatbed, it being taped down from when I would drive off and spend days in my truck. He laid me down, instantly climbing between my legs as he slipped off the last pieces of clothing I had on. I had no idea what emotions really were before I met Min Yoongi.

      I laid in his arms, both of our gazes directed up to the clouds. My fingers absentmindedly ran up and down his arm, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. My heart was still calming down from what had just happened, because it happened with someone I love, and they love me back. I just couldn’t wrap my head around that fact. I felt like I could live forever - and for once in my miserable, useless, life, I don’t feel apposed to that idea. As long as I’m by his side.

      As we gathered our stuff and threw on our clothes, I held his shirt and smiled up at him. “I love you, Sir Minty Yoonglz.” His laugh reverberated throughout my being, his smile nothing compared to the sun beating down on us both.

      “I love you too, Miss (N/N).”

We decided that this would absolutely be a spot, so I threw a few historical coins into a tin from my truck, and Yoongi tossed his old necklace in with it. We buried the tin near the shore, and turned back to Combine. With one last kiss, we were both back on the road to what normal people would call, ‘home’. 

      We’re as far from normal as possible.

      “I’m home.” My voice rang through the house, my sister’s head poking out from the kitchen.

      “Good. We have to go to dad’s house tonight, remember?” God. Not him. He was a poor excuse for a human, even worse than myself. Fuck, he’d be a poor excuse for a damn rat.

      The words left my lips before I could process what I was saying. “Don’t call him that.” I’m lucky this was my sister, because we both believe that he shouldn’t even be on this planet. “You and I both know his status is lower than a damn gnat.” I sighed as she looked at  me with eyes that told me, yes, I know. He’s terrible. And I feel sorry for mom. I went up to my room, and lit up a cigarette as I changed into something. I shouldn’t even be putting any effort into this, I thought. He doesn’t deserve any effort. I decided on some black ripped jeans and some worn out black Chuck Taylors, keeping on Yoongi’s sweatshirt that I had almost forgot was on my torso.

      “(Y/N), let’s go!! Take your truck, I’ll head over now!” I looked toward the door and yelled back down to my sis.

      “Okay, don’t let him touch you.” I could hear her faint sigh as she grabbed her keys and walked out. I heard her car pull out from the driveway, and I turned to look at the picture on my desk. It was one of me, my sister, my mother, and what used to be my father, except for how I tore him off and burned him with a lighter. He left our family after abusing all of us, then finally saying that he’d already been cheating on our mother for six years prior. Then, my mom died in a car crash, and now it’s just me and my sis. I grabbed the frame and slammed it down onto my knee, shards of glass propelling all over my room. Why is he still alive? He shouldn’t be walking!

      After I got all of the glass out of my palms, and washed off all of the blood, I hopped into Combine and drove off to my “Father”s house. It really was a nice house, very expensive and very fancy. It was obvious he was in this relationship for the money. He married this really rich Daddy’s Girl, but she’s a surprisingly nice person. I have no idea how she’s dealt with him thus far, especially without getting a few broken bones from him. She’s probably scared, I think. I pull up and park my pickup in the driveway, hoping that the neighbors won’t have to call the cops again. Yet we all know just that will happen. 

      My fingers are prickling, like ten thousand needles all stabbing me at once, and I feel the need to wrap them around someone’s throat and just squeeze. I hop out and enter almost completely silent, a tactic I’ve used to get into Yoongi’s house in broad daylight. I offer Rhynna, the new wife, a nod, glare at her scrawny little boy, Tyler - who may or may not be that man’s, I still don’t think so - and I head downstairs to see my sis in the corner on her phone. My stature hardens instantaneously at the words that fall from the man’s mouth.

      “There’s my other girl.” Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. That. Before I could stop myself, I’ve already stalked over to him and slammed my fist into his jaw. I heard the cracking sound of his right jaw joint dislocating, and a surge of power washed over me. The prickling in my fingers is getting stronger, and I encase his throat with my hands and wring them back and forth. 

      “Don’t you EVER call me that again!”  Next thing I knew, I was the one getting strangled, my whole body being held up in the air by his hand on my neck.

      “Is that how you treat your father? Don’t call you what? Huh?! Spit it out, bitch!” I feel an immense pain shooting through my back, and up to my skull as I see I was thrown into the wall. This is how family reunions go with us.

      Now I’m getting picked up again, by my hands this time. I feel my fingers touch the back of my hand, all the knuckles and joints twisting and snapping. Once again, I’m being dropped, and I’m met face to face with the man, who’s in an unconscious state from a vase - which is probably worth more than my truck - that hit him on the head. I look up to my teary and red-eyed sister, and only mutter a few quiet words.

      “Please don’t take me to the hospital. Just get him behind bars.”  

        We get home after a while, and my sis stitches up my head and chin, as well as making some makeshift casts for my hands. After many attempts, I finally type out something on Facebook, that he would possibly be able to read.

Me: Please come over.

      A few minutes later, after thinking he hadn’t seen it, my bedroom door bursts open to see Yoongi, a panting, disheveled mess, but still as beautiful as ever.

      “What happened?!” I’m ready to laugh at him, tell him this is all a joke, that it’s a big prank, with makeup and cameras. But I can’t. Because I know he see the pain in my eyes. He can see how I’m trying to hold onto that last, tiny shard of sanity I have left. He knows me better than I know me.

       My voice is hoarse and broken, surprising even myself at how I sound. “My ‘dad’ happened.” I can see how he’s ready to apologize, how he’s ready to say how sorry he is, but he doesn’t, because he knows that sorry has no meaning. Instead, he walks over to me and sits next to me on the bed, pulling me in for a warm hug, and my figure melts with his perfectly. We stay like this for a majority of the day, only breaking apart when my sister brings up food for us.

      “I love you, Sir Minty Yoonglz.”

      “And I love you, Miss (N/N).”

      Yoongi is always around now, helping me when my sis is at work. School excused the both of us, believing our bullshit lie that I got into a car crash and Yoongi was my designated caretaker. One morning, while he was still asleep, I managed to slip away from his grasp and get into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, and chopped off the casts. That probably woke him up, because he rushed into the bathroom and looked at me with wide eyes once he saw the casts on the floor.

      “(Y/N)!!! What are you doing?! You need the casts so you can heal proper-” I cut him off with a kiss, knowing well what he was going to say afterwards. I held either sides of his face with my mangled, twisted, crooked fingers, and looked deep into his eyes. His sigh tickled my lips, and he looked back at me when his hands wrapped around my waist. “I just… I hate seeing you this way. I just don’t want you to be hurt.” I dare not say how I’m already hurt. “It pains me to think about you like this, let alone see you. But promise me this-” I hate promises. He knows this. “-You’ll be careful.” That’s the worst promise of all. I just give him a simple nod, and he knows I’m lying, but he doesn’t push it. “Now what are you doing? Why’d you cut off the casts?” My eyes light up at this, a smile spreading over my face.

      “We’re going wandering!” I lightly grab his hand, because my fingers are still barely mobile, and tug him out.

      “What? No, no, you can barely move! I can’t let you do this, (Y/N). I can’t let you do something when I know it’ll hurt you.” He slowly pulled me to a stop, and I could see the worry in his eyes. 

      I sigh, and look up at him. “This will make me feel better, Yoongi. I promise I’ll stay in bed for awhile after, but please, just come with me.” There’s conflict swirling around his eyes, his brows furrowed in concern. He’ll say yes, I think. Knowing him, and him knowing me. His head makes the tiniest movement upward, and that’s enough for me to pull him out to Combine. I hop in with a grin, and speed out of town with my hand in his. I roll the windows down, and crank up the radio until the sound speeds out the windows and into the open air.

      “So where are we going again?” I could faintly hear Yoongi’s voice yell over the booming music, and I looked over to be met with the smile that could cure my seemingly never ending sadness.

      “I don’t know the name, but I call it the bookmobile park! There’s a bunch of mobile homes- actually, you’ll see when we get there!” I laugh as the wind licks at my cheeks, my hair flying all around. This is what life should really be like, I thought. Something worthwhile.

      We drive about thirty miles away from town, and finally, we come up to about half a dozen old mobile homes sitting in a barren field, with nothing around it for miles. I smile and jump out with him, racing him to the park. I follow him into one that has his favorite genre painted on the outside, the letters chipping and peeling away. I’m surprised he could even understand what it said. He gathers up some books, all with worn covers and damaged pages, and I smile once I see the familiar childhood titles.

      “My brother would read these all to me when I was younger. We would go back and forth with the lines. He’d read one, and I’d read the next. I memorized all of them, and he called me crazy for it. Hell, I probably still have them memorized.” I can’t really imagine having something like that happening to me. He’s my everything, just like his brother was to him, and I couldn’t bare the thought of loosing him. But it would happen sooner or later. Rather, sooner than later.

      We’d gathered up a pile of books, and went to pay. The owner, an older woman, let us off for free saying that we were a “Cute couple, and they get things handed to them.” Then we realized that we had to leave something, so we left twenty bucks anyways and a few cigarette butts we had earlier. We packed all of our books, and sat in the car. I realized how much I love him. I realize how much he cares. But I realize that I was a mistake, a walking, talking, living, breathing, fuck up. I should be dead by now, I should’ve jumped, or stopped holding my breath, or had too many pills. I realized all of this, so I got in Combine with him, and I told myself: Just drive.

      He picks a place now, called the Painted Rainbow Bridge. I let him drive, and we speed off to find it in Indianapolis, not giving a care in the world. We pass a cigarette back and forth, and finally, after three cigarettes and more than one hundred songs, we find what we’re looking for. I get out and walk with him, a sharpie hidden in the pocket of his sweatshirt I’m wearing. We walk over to the more hidden side of the bridge, and I pull the sharpie out and hand it to him.

      “Time to do some cliche teenager move.” I laugh with him as he scribbles his name down, and I shakily position the marker in my bent fingers. He holds my hand to help, guiding it along to spell my name. God, I’m going to miss him. Anyways, we walk our way along the bridge, reading all of the old love notes scrawled out on the sides. Swinging our hands back and forth, we race each other back to the truck, which ended up with him carrying me like a newlywed because he was worried about my back. We left a banged up tin of Altoids under it the bridge, along with a dented can of beer. He drove us back home, and he stayed the night with me, starting up a warm bath for my joints.

      I need to end this, I thought. I can’t let him know.

      Later that night, we made a fort in my empty closet, and he saw all my post-its hanging on the wall. “What are all of these?” Reasons to die.

      “Oh, I just wrote them down in case I wanted to use them for a song. In that case, here, I have something for you.” I rummaged around in an old shoebox before I found what I was looking for. I had thrown together all the songs we listen to while we’re wandering onto a cassette tape, as well as a whole other one with songs I wrote for him. “I don’t know if you’ll really like them, but I threw them together pretty quick.” A kiss was all I needed from him, as I moved to his lap, so I could feel how much I actually mattered to him, so I could feel the desire he had for me.

      Later, we tore down all the sad, miserable, and painstakingly true notes, and we replaced them with notes of love, and happiness. Two emotions that I learned now that I had Yoongi with me. Once he falls asleep, I look up at the old, glowing, sticky stars that are on the ceiling.

      “Maybe not today,” I sing. “Maybe not today, because he cares. They say every life is important, but only one person cares about mine. It’s the first breath of air you get when your head’s been drowning underwater, that’s love.”

      We let Yoongi go home tonight, after giving him many kisses and dancing for him just to show that I was all okay. I couldn’t sleep that night. So, I went to my bathroom and slid open to mirror to find all my pills. I had some pain killers and sleeping pills that my sis gave me, earlier in the phase where everything was aching. I pour all of the pills out into my hands from both bottles. 22, 23, 24… 24 in total. What happens if I down 24 pills? I didn’t know, so I tested it, doing 12 at a time. I felt nothing for a bit, but then it hit me, the aching pain in my head, how reality was slipping out of my reach, black dots trying to cloud my vision. No, not yet, I told myself. I didn’t get to tell him. Crawling to the toilet, I shoved two fingers down my throat, pushing them in and out, until every last little pill was floating in the water. I flushed them down the drain once I counted another time, just to make sure. Well, that was easy. Maybe I’ll leave that way.

      I wake up in the morning, or more like late afternoon, and quickly blast some music so I could function a bit more properly. Later, I logged onto Facebook to see where we’d be going today.

Me: Got any ideas Sir Minty Yoonglz?

Yoongi: Surprisingly, I do. There are these two roller coasters some junkie dude built in his backyard. I think he’s kinda old now, but I called him to check if we could come, and he said we could. We’re supposed to be there sometime around 4 o’clock, so you’d better get ready because I know you just woke up. 

Me: You’re saying I just woke up? You were still asleep and just woke up from the notification and you know it! 

Yoongi: Yeah yeah, whatever (Y/N).

Me: Love you too~

      After getting ready, I packed up a few strawberry and cream cheese sandwiches and some cold root beer for supper. When two arms wrapped around my waist, a smile found its way onto my face. I tilted my head up and kissed his cheek, smiling up at him.

      “Ready (N/N)?”

      “Indeed, Minty Yoonglz.” We walked out hand in hand, and he drove us off to Bruceville, off to meet the junkie genius named John Ivers, who built two fucking roller coasters in his backyard. Now that’s talent. It takes us a while to get there, but it was definitely worth the wait. They weren’t the giant, eighty feet tall kind, they were only about fifteen feet tall, and really short. But the second you got on, it was the most fun you would have had in a long time.You go up and down, through all the twists and loops, in a super short period of time. It really gets your blood pumping, to know that this thing might fall apart any second, and hey, maybe that’s how I’ll die. Having a coaster cart crush me as I fall fifteen feet down to the ground, or maybe the seat belt isn’t secure enough, and I’ll slip out and hit my head too hard. We both take turns, going on and off, and then we try the Blue Flash Too. That one isn’t nearly as fun as the original, so we go back to it. We ask John a few questions while I scribble some notes down, and doodle a few pictures of the coasters down. Later, we drive off to a field and eat the supper I packed.

      “So babe… Tell me about your brother…” I could tell how his body froze a bit underneath me, and I knew I should’ve just left it alone. Typical, stupid (Y/N).

      “Well… His name was Seokjin. Though, everyone just called him Jin. We were driving back from a party one night, and we were fighting in the car. I told him to just take the bridge, even though it was bound to be icy. He did it just so I would shut up, just so he could make me happy… T-the car crashed up against the side of it, and… I was the one who lived… God, I should’ve been the one who was driving, I should’ve died, I should’ve just let him take the damn road! I should’ve jumped.” My heart slams into my stomach at that, my arms wrapping around him tight.

      “You’re too young to die. You have too much ahead of you, too many great things that will get you ahead of life’s threats. You’ll get through this Yoongi. Trust me.” Trust me, I thought. Trust me, just this once. Because it’ll be me, not you. I really couldn’t take this, knowing what would happen to him. I know he should’ve stayed away, but really, his life would’ve been worth more to save then mine. So now we’re here. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t be alive, he should be all okay, with a better girl, and a better life, and everything would be okay. I wouldn’t have dragged him down with me, he wouldn’t have even known I had existed, I’d just be the girl who killed herself. And I’d be okay with that, if I didn’t meet him. And that’s been the best and worst decision of my life.

      We finally get home, splitting our different ways. I sit at my chair and  look down at the combinations of black and white keys, and I slowly play some chords, letting the sound float around my room. Then I sing. “I can change my mind each day, changing how I live, but I still remember your birthday and your brother’s favorite song. I didn’t mean to wear you, so I’m sorry. I’m sorry I treated you like shit, I’m sorry for not believing you loved me. Someone will, but someone isn’t me.” I stay up the rest of the night, move all of my stuff into a corner, and pull out some paint. I cover the walls, painting it all black. I take some chalk and scribble down a note for someone on the wall, and I take everything out of the room. I keep a few blankets, and I spend the night in my closet, emptying all of the clothes out of it. I stay up, looking at the glow in the dark stars, just thinking, maybe I could become a real one tomorrow.

      I was supposed to be at school the next day, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t anywhere. Because I was everywhere. During our lunch break, My computer and phone both started blowing up. Yoongi was worried. He didn’t have to be.

Yoongi: (Y/N)? Where are you?

Yoongi: I haven’t seen you here all day.

Yoongi: I know it was something I said.

Yoongi: God, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I didn’t mean any of the things I said last night.

      Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot to mention, but after I told him that he had too much to live for, a fight broke out. See, once again, all my fault. Just like everything is.

“Who are you to tell me what I have ahead of me?! He was my everything! I’m nothing without him, I don’t have anything left of him, and he was my best memory. I should’ve died, I should just go kill myself, maybe I’ll just crash this damn car, and go out like him! Maybe it’ll look like an accident, just like us.”

      I had never seen this side of him, but he obviously doesn’t like it. I hope he’s okay. I love you, Sir Minty Yoonglz.

      He went to Charlie and Violet, thinking that they would know. No one really knew.

      “Do you two know where (Y/N) is?” I can just imagine the worry in his eyes again.

      Charlie actually looked up from his phone for once, and calmly explained what he thought had happened to me.“Oh, she’s probably just off doing her things again. She’ll be back sooner or later, don’t fret. It’s just her.” I won’t be back.

      “Aren’t you at least a bit worried about her?”

      This time, Violet spoke up. “Really Yoongi, don’t worry. She’ll be okay, she just randomly travels sometimes, no one really knows when it happens or where she goes. But she always comes back.” Not this time.

      It had been weeks, months, even, since anyone had last seen me. Same for Yoongi. He had gone out to look for me, going back to every wandering place, back to my house, seeing every note I had written. He knew he was hot on my trail, seeing how every hint I gave was still fresh. He was still a bit too slow, though. He had finally come back to the place where everything was made official, where everything started fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. Where the first butterflies had come in, where the first kiss had happened, where we had shared our first tears together - The Blue Hole. Quickly, he dug through the old, crumbled dirt, looking for that old tin. Finally, he found a mound of disturbed soil, and he pulled out the tin. Everything was still there and intact, except for the added Polaroid of us in front of the Blue Hole, and a note, a small note that read:

      To Yoongi, aka Sir Minty Yoonglz.

I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. You were my one and only lover, my first and my last, the only one who cared, and the best and worst decision that ever happened to me. I didn’t mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind. You worried about me too much. No one else worried enough.

From your lover, (Y/N), aka (N/N).

      That’s when he knew. That’s when he knew that the tears hitting the paper weren’t all some part of a terrifying nightmare, or that this wasn’t all normal for me to do, or that this wasn’t all a prank that would have over a million views on Youtube. That’s when he knew.

      He knew when he saw my body, floating lifelessly in the water, on the other shore of the Blue Hole. That’s when he knew he was too late, and that he had just missed me.

      That’s when he knew he lost the single thing that he had cared about.

      That’s when he knew he lost me.

Lost Boy (Chapter 5 & Epilogue)

This is our final chapter! This fic was both lovely and hard to write, and the amount of love I received has been SO AMAZING!

If you are just joining the story, catch up HERE.


Steve spent every day of the next three weeks re-reading every text in his phone between him and Tony, from the very first flirty texts to the more heartfelt ones later on.
He hated it.
Loved it.
Missed Tony so much it was like a physical ache inside of him.

The day his results came in, Steve actually sat at his table and cried.
Eight years of school were finally over. Countless hours of studying. The last three weeks of pacing and worrying and running every minute of the exam through his mind over and over again.

And he had passed.

Steve poured himself a celebratory shot of his favorite aged whiskey, and picked up his phone to call Tony.

Keep reading

Chase My Blues Away

Pairing: NozoEli

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Nozomi’s an uber driver who picks up a super nervous (and super cute) Eli on her way to a date. Can Nozomi calm her down and get that five-star uber rating?

Birthday fic for Nozomi based on the prompt “I’m your uber driver.”

Nozomi Toujou: Hey this is your uber driver. I’m outside in a blue Prius.

Nozomi hits send, then locks her phone and sets it firmly back in its stand. She taps her fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of Whitney Houston’s ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody.’ She savors it. She’s about to turn on some indiscriminate jazz, generally a good choice for when the customer gets in the car, but if she were picking the music, she’d pick this.

She leans her head back against the seat and grins as the music blasts from the speakers. God, this is a good song. She glances out her passenger window to see if her customer is coming–

–and stops dead, her face coloring.

Standing there in a pale blue dress and obviously waiting for someone is the most beautiful woman Nozomi has ever seen. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration. Probably. It’s in the realm of possibility. But whether or not this woman is the most beautiful doesn’t detract from the fact that Nozomi finds her very attractive. She’s tall, she’s got blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail, and she has bright blue eyes that are looking right at her!

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LBTE: Robbie (38-39)

In which I talk pretty candidly about depression which is unsurprising considering the entirety of this part is Robbie in a depressive spiral.

(I’m going to slap a TW for mental illness on this because it’s like a two-for-one of reading Robbie’s experiences with depression and how my experiences with depression influenced my writing of Robbie’s experience and basically there’s just a LOT OF TALK ABOUT DEPRESSION HERE. This is basically a TFW of depression. Or. Not feeling, I guess. Wrong word.)

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So those of you that know Rumple is my forever fave would probably guess that I LOVED that episode.

But honestly I didn’t just love it because it was a Rumple centric - I adored basically every minute of it - the treatment of every character and every dynamic were A+++. Like I’m shocked at how happy I am with the way the plot has unfolded.

The way the Black Fairy storyline echoed Rumple’s own so well and the may the magical elements from earlier in the season (and series) were brought back in this episode….like I could almost believe they planned this from the very beginning? Almost lol.

This episode was Seasin one good for me. There was so much I loved.

Regina and Zelena and the driving lessons? That car!?!? The IKEA jokes and the take care of Henry speech? I’m still emotional?

Belle hearing Rumple is a savior and thinking that means he’s got good inside - I laughed a bit cause that was such a Belle speech lol - but it wouldn’t be her if she wasn’t still hoping for the man inside to overcome the beast. Plus all the scenes with the two of them and Gideon….again I’m emotional.

Charming and Hook finding the wand together? I love how they managed to squeeze a little captain charming moment in there for us lol.

And Snow right back to wedding planning! I laughed but then I realized she said the wedding was “tomorrow” and like damn she’s not messing around when t comes to Her daughter getting that fairytale wedding is she?!!!!?

Tiger Lily as a fairy - loved it. Loved her. And loved her fairy look too.

Shit, even Malcolm got me emotional this episode. I mean he was still a price of shit but why a great way to flesh out that character - they finally gave Pan a tragic backstory.

The Hook and Emma scene at the end was perfection and OPERATION BEST MAN?!?!?!? I don’t think there could have been a MORE perfect way for Hook to ask him than via code name. I’ll never get over it tbh.

And Rumple - what can I say? The episode ends and you’re left wondering who he’s playing here. His mother? The Charmings? Both? Most likely himself I think. he’s always 6 steps ahead of everyone but somehow ends up failing in the end. But honestly I’m rooting for him here.

I’m actually excited to see how it plays out!

I was so grateful for Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Tony speech. The best part is “Love is love is love” but I found hope in the lines right before, and wanted to capture them too.

“This show is proof that history remembers.
We live through times when hate and fear seem stronger.
We rise and fall and light from dying embers.
Remembrances that hope and love last longer.”

I was able to finish this right before I got to see Hamilton myself, so it rode along with me. Thank you, Lin, for being a light that we need, especially now.

“Love is love” is in the pride flag colors, with grey asexual thrown in to honor someone I love.

anonymous asked:

do you have a podfic tag??? if so can you link it??

Hey there Nonny!  We do not have a tag, but since I’m obsessed with Podfic we’re going to make a master PODFIC REC POSSSSSSSSSSST!!!!!!!

Originally posted by evilbjork

For anyone not familiar, a podfic is basically a fanfic audiobook and it’s the BEST THING EVERRRRR.  Gay porn in the car, gay porn in the gym, gay porn waiting for class to start, at the park, you can listen to fanfic anywhere!

Now as a slut for explicit fics, all of these are going to be explicit. These are either favorite fics, favorite podficcers, or both.  Hope you enjoy!  -Emmy

Dilf read by Rhea314 (Rhea) 

“Today is Scott’s first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified.”

Length: about 3.5 hours, good for FLUFF needs

This is a super popular Sterek fic, and a great read by Rhea314.  She’s got a very calm, even tempo-d voice, and conversational tone.  This is one of the few fluffy fics I like, it’s just a lovely story with delicious Stilinski Family Feels and is a kidfic done right (Scott and Jackson are de-aged and Derek’s nephews, they’re age appropriate in their speech, which I love). 

When Your Voice Breaks (Let Me Hear The Sound) read by Readbyanalise010 

“You’re going to ride me, baby boy,” Derek says, breathing against his mouth. “Going to squirm all over my dick. Feel my cock grow thick and hard inside of you. Going to soak your pretty thighs with your own come, and when you’re all fucked out I’m going to carry you up to my place and take you apart.”

Length: 20-25 minutes, good for PORN needs

Analise has a great flow when she reads, very conversational, and she commits 10,000% to the complete filth that is this fic.  :D  For the professional public smutter, not for the quick to blush.  lol

Frustrated and Fabulous read by RsCreighton

“ Stiles is a frustrated virgin and he is determined to do something about it - too bad Derek Hale keeps interfering.”

Length: 55-60 minutes, good for FLUFF AND PORN

This is a cute story featuring some of the drag queens from the Jungle episode, intermixed with some good smuts.  The read is even and smooth, with some good inflection for the various voices. 

Professional Misconduct read by Rhea314 (Rhea) 

“ Stiles gets a massage. And then some.
Alternatively: in which Stiles’ mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.”

Length:  50-55 Minutes,  good for PORN

Another good read by Rhea.  Her easy tone and nice pacing makes for a quality smutting narration.  And come on, trashy porn where masseur!Derek fingers client!Stiles????  Yes please.

My Heart Comes Tumbling Down read by anatsuno 

“ “This is a casual, adult relationship based on sex, and it is awesome.” In which Stiles and Derek have a great time buddyfucking until a burrito ruins it all.”

Length: 30-35 minutes, good for FEELS and FLUFF

Anatsuno is one of my FAV podficcers from my inception days, and I was so excited to find more she’d done in Teen Wolf.  This is a sweet Sterek story, I really like Derek’s characterization and the dynamic he has with Stiles. 

Another great podfic from Anatsuno is Fascination

Summary: “Huh, he thinks with a sudden thrill, huh, there’s no way Derek Hale is circumcised.”

Up and Coming read by readbythilia (thilia)

“Stiles and Derek work in the same building and every day ride up in the elevator together.That is pretty much the extent of their relationship—until one day the elevator breaks down, trapping the two of them inside and maybe forcing them to admit to each other that the attraction is mutual.Or, the one where Stiles and Derek have sex in an elevator.”

Length: 2 hours, good for FEELS and SMUT

I love Thilia as a podficcer, her voice is seriously like Xanax.  It’s so smooth and even paced, I honestly had a problem listening to her at night because she kept lulling me to sleep. lol  This fic is super sweet, a nice combo of feels, cuteness, and smut. 

More great reads by Thilia are:

Come With Me and Walk the Longest Mile (zombie apocalypse AU) 4 Hours

Sell Your Body To The Night (hooker!Stiles AU)  11 Hours

Roommate Wanted: No Supernatural Creatures Allowed (Steter AU) ~4 Hrs

You Don’t See Straight read by araline

“Stiles finds himself in a secret werewolf community to participate in a mating run. Sterek happens.”

Length: ~23 Hours, good for PLOT and SMUT

This fic is LOOOOOOOOOONG and kind of lags at times, but Stiles is cute and I love the OC Shane, not to mention this is a MASSIVE amount of podfic (listened to it while I drove across country, made the time fly by!). Araline’s reading is solid, she’s got great expression, especially for Stiles’ voice. 

Extra Innings read by chemm80

“ Stiles Stilinski is a minor league baseball catcher who just got promoted. Derek Hale is a star major league pitcher with a knee injury who just got sent down to the minors. Stiles is drawn to Derek, but the further invested he gets, the more questions arise. Why does team owner Chris Argent have it out for Derek? Why is Derek so emotionally constipated? And what the hell is Coach Finstock going on about? Minor league baseball has more intrigue than Stiles ever imagined.”

Length: 4-4.5 Hours, good for FEELS

Chemm80 has done TONS of podfic, and they’re always well read (good pacing and inflection) and the audio is always really clear.  I’m a complete slut for a good Baseball AU, and I really liked the dynamic between Derek and Stiles in this.  The plot gets a little crazy near the end, but hey, Kate and Gerard are good for bringing the crazy :D 

Other good ones by Chemm80:

Asking for It (Alpha Pack AU) 45-60 minutes

All You’re Giving Me Is Friction (Alpha bait!Stiles)

How To Be a Normal Person (Derek wants to be normal *so cute*) 1 Hour

Starts with F Ends with U (Rafa/Stiles and Sterek) 12 Hours

The Mating Misadventures of Alpha Wolf and Hyperactive Boy read by dodificus 

“Scott tells Stiles to stay away from Derek, who is in heat.  It doesn’t work so well”

Length: 1-1.5 Hours,  good for SMUT

Dodificus is another podficcer I’ve loved since Inception.  Her narrations are so conversational and on point, I wish she was still reading fics.  The fic itself is smutty goodness with a touch of dubcon/badwrong. A Derek in heat is a possessive Derek, I can see this not being everyone’s cup, but it’s definitely mine :D

Other great reads by Dodificus:

Hear His Alibis and Multiplied by Seven (Sheriff takes in teen Derek in Sheriff’s POV, then the same fic from Derek’s POV, sterek, *underage*) 50 Minutes and 3 Hours

Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (Derek ponders Stiles’ obsession with uncut dicks) 35 Minutes

Last Night’s Dress, Tiptoe Out of This Mess (Sheriff thinks Derek is Stiles’ boyfriend, they play along *LOVE*)  ~2 hours

Hyper Heart Alone (Grown Stiles comes home after his dad has a heart attack) ~4 Hours

It Fills My Head Up And Gets Louder (Stackson) ~2 Hours

He Gets Me High read by Janeyyy 

Stiles and Derek act like a couple. But they’re not. Seriously! Derek has a boyfriend and Stiles has a girlfriend. They’re just friends, overly-attached and possessive friends, but that’s it. Right?

Length: 1 Hour,  good for SMUT and COLLEGE AU

I can’t explain why I love this fic/podfic so much, it’s just satisfying.  Love the college AU setting, the friendship to lovers thing with Sterek, gay heartbreaker Derek.  UGH.  I love.  The reading is great too, very soft and easy going. 

Build an Ivory Tower read by neverbalance 

“ Stiles didn’t know how Derek sleeping on his floor developed into sleeping in his bed, or how cuddling ended up turning into Derek humping his ass. He didn’t agree to being knotted in the school locker room, either. But what can you do when Derek Hale wants something? He’s the Alpha, after all.”

Length: 55 Minutes, good for SMUT and IN RUT!DEREK

Neverbalance is another one of my favorite readers, she’s got the even pacing and tempo I like, with a calm conversational flow.  The fic has some dubcon and so heed the tags if that’s not your bag.

More by Neverbalance:

Making Love Our of Nothing at All (Sterek Series:  Stuff makes them do it) About 2 hours total

Fascination (Stiles realizes Derek can’t be circumcised ) 20-30 Minutes

There are so many more too!!  I may make a Part 2 post another day. 


I already set up the pages in order, but you do read the speech bubbles from Right to Left. This is a commission for @gymleadergreen who probably hasn’t expected I’d end up giving her an entire comic. It took a while, but you can see how shitty my writing became (I planned so much more and then didn’t find enough time to finish it on time.)

Anyway, I…know you like red-haired FE characters.. I honestly tried to make this story Matoi-centric, but it slowly became Subaki/Luna centric (SORRY;)

NEVERTHELESS, I hope you enjoy it!


Random Characters Best Quotes  »  Zeke | Ezekiel Figuero

“Uh, I wrote a speech… But who’s got time for all that, right? So, I’m gonna just riff this. The – The super-cool Persian poet Rumi once wrote: “Where there’s ruin, there’s hope for a treasure.” Now, the other day I was up on 183rd, and this rich lady called it “taki,” man. But I talked to my man Tracy from 168th. And he said, “Listen for the voice of the ghetto.” ‘Cause it crashes down on you when you least expect it. Even from the cats that stay high… on 149th Street. Now, I could daze. Or doze off, or talk about the comets in the sky. Or how quick they fly by. Or I could listen. And say, we’re a team. And as a crew or a squad… we work together like Moses did… to help his people.”


Request:  Idk if requests are being taken but an you do a dean and reader one where the reader goes on hunts with Sam and dean sometimes and y/n has a bf but is really in love with dean. They do the hunt and dean drops off y/n at her house and finds her bf cheating, leaves and her and dean end up together:) sorry that was really long!!! Love your blog and you are fabulous!!!!

Request:  Hiiiii could you please do a one shot with Dean x reader where they go to a bar after a hunt and the reader gets drunk and leaves with a random guy who eventually tries to hurt her, and Dean saves her from him and expresses his feelings for her? :-)

Request:  Can you do a oneshot with Dean and the reader about the song “Waiting for Superman” by Daughtry with a happy ending please? I love your work so much! Thanks for everything!

Request:  Monday! WooHoo! Please could you do a Dean x reader oneshot where they go paintballing for a case but the reader doesn’t dress correctly (like in thin clothing) and gets massive bruise and cuts and loads of headshots. And Dean gets really protective and shoots everybody and fluff and him taking care of her. Please thankies!

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I’m Usually More Gentle

Originally posted by codychristianbr

Part 1 Part 2

You’d texted Theo the details but you didn’t get a response so you were feeling a bit nervous. You checked your phone again but there was nothing and you went back to dealing with Cora’s bridezilla attitude and Lydia’s OCD as she oversaw the wedding. You were regretting agreeing to be maid of honour but you loved Cora and knew no one else could handle her and her biting sarcasm; plus she threatened to punch you in the face like ten times in last hour.

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Phantom Traveler - Part 3

Word Count: 2392

Pairing: Eventual DeanxReader

Warnings: Plane crash, Blood, Language.

Tagging: @letsgetoutalive @aprofoundbondwithdean @pb-5minutefanfiction @desiringspnimagines @blacktithe7 @spnfanficpond

A/N: Last part! I got carried away with Jensen winning the PCA and my brain just spewing ideas out for this. Plus, I kinda want to get to Bloody Mary. Feedback please! 

Series Rewrite Masterlist

Dean took a few more deep breaths before turning to a flight attendant who was just about to pass you in the aisle. “Excuse me, are you Amanda?” he asked. 

“No, I’m sorry, I’m not.” She replied. 

“Sorry…My mistake.” Dean said. He turned to the back of the plane and saw the only other flight attendant on board. “Ok, so that must be Amanda back there. I’ll go talk to her. Get a read on her mental state.” He said. 

“You’re sure you’re up for this? I could do it.” You offered. 

“No…No I got it.” He replied. 

“What if she’s already possessed?” Sam wondered. 

“There’s ways to test that.” Dean said. Dean dug through his bag and pulled out a small bottle with the Virgin Mary on it. “I brought holy water.” He told Sam, who yanked it out of his hand. You gave him your best bitch face.

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