i hope at least have someone want it

getting married on Halloween would be great because
1) never have to worry about forgetting the anniversary
2) forget formal wear, guests should arrive in costumes
3) pumpkin pie wedding cake???
4) also I’d want to toss a pumpkin instead of a bouquet. just a whole pumpkin. just freakin launch that sucker behind my head. get wrecked

Captain

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 3,610

Request: OMG I’m so happy to see that the requests are open again! I want to say that I LOVE your writing and I was wondering if you could do a Steve x reader smut where they have a strained relationship but then they have to share a bed during an undercover mission and that leads to sex, possibly with rough/Dom!Steve after all the tension (maybe they had to pretend they were a couple for the mission or something). Feel free to change this if you want I trust your writing genius :)

Warnings: Smut, Dom!Steve, hair pulling, captain kink, dirty talk, orgasm denial, light spanking, light choking, oral sex, swearing, Steve is a little tease

Author’s Note: I’d like to again dedicate this one to @scarlets-wanda, who tried to sneak the fact that it was her birthday last week past me! So in return, I wrote this for her. Enjoy.

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain


Keep reading

3

🎉 Happy Killugon Day!!!!! 🎉 I’ve been working on a school au (thanks to talks with @pemprika​..!! PLEASE LOOK AT HER SCHOOL AU STUFF THEYRE PERFECT) and this was a lot of fun to do!! oh yea I also added a little bit of context in the captions of what I was thinking about when drawing the scene ahaha;;

 I hope everyone is having a good killugon day!! 💚 💙

Hey, I might get hate for this and this message might not be for everyone, but I wanted to say -

It’s okay to be going through a kind of grief right now if you were very invested in Nick’s content. Some people might be experiencing just straightforward anger, and that’s fine, that makes sense.

But I suspect some of you, like me, are struggling with your emotions. Betrayal is complex. Maybe you wish things could go back to the way they were. Maybe you’re guilty because you didn’t realize - guilty because you did - guilty because you’re not as angry as you think you should be. You want him to get fired, but you don’t. You miss his content but don’t know if you’ll ever be able to watch it again. You wonder if this is really a big deal, wonder how much your social climate is influencing that view. You want to make jokes about it and yet you hate when other people make jokes about it. You feel bad for him and feel guilty for feeling bad for him.

Maybe you experience one or two or all of these at some point. This is NORMAL.

And I want to be clear about something here: some of these emotions can easily turn into victim blaming, but use this as a learning opportunity. Victim blaming, generally, doesn’t come from HATING WOMEN on a personal level. It comes from fear, and guilt, and betrayal. It is EASY to fall into, and it can come from a place of sincere emotions, so be careful about what you’re saying out there in the heat of the moment.

I just - not ever emotion you experience in a situation like this is going to be Morally Pure And Good. And some of them should probably be worked through privately. But I want everyone to know that feeling those emotions is FINE. It’s part of the process and resenting yourself will only make it harder. You will learn and grow from this.

If you’re struggling with your reactions to this, it’s ok to step back. It’s okay if your emotions don’t immediately fall in line with your beliefs. So long as you’re thinking critically about what you put out there, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about your emotions.

Be kind to yourself, everyone.

Character prompt: Try to think of as many possible responses a character could have to any given question. E.g. Lily Evans: “Are you having sex with James?”

  • “Define ‘sex.’ And also… define ‘James.’”
  • “Obviously not. He’s not even in this room.”
  • “Not until next Tuesday. Why?” 
  • “Yes, but I’ve got a family emergency. Do you know if anyone can cover my shift?” 
  • “I’m doing my Charms homework, but if he wants to try it, he’s welcome.”
  • “Metaphorically?”
  • “Knickers are still in place, so probably not.”
  • “Is he offering?” 
  • “I try to at least once a week, but you know how hard it is to stay on top of these things.” 
  • “If I know the answer, do I win a prize?” 
  • “Well, it’d be pretty impolite to do it while I was talking to someone else.”
  • “In a way, aren’t we all having sex with James?”
  • “Only for recreation, but with practice I hope to do it professionally.”
  • “Why, is there a queue?” 
  • “Pass.” “On the sex or answering?” “Pass.”
2

Yurio Plisetsky, прима-балерина.

This is how I imagine him.

“Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum not as two opposing sets of ideals”, by Emma Watson.

I want to use this drawing to say a few things I’ve been thinking lately. I don’t care if it ends up with 1 note or more, I just want to rant about it. I hope I won’t offend anyone with my lack of english and knowledge. 

  • Boys can wear make up. And skirts. Boys can change their hair, use it long or short. Boys can have no hair too. Boys won’t be less boys for that. 
  • When I draw I don’t think about genders, about sexuality, about anything to be honest. When I draw I think about making people happy, it makes me happy when someone smiles what I did because ehy maybe they are having a bad day and at least I made them 1% happier. I’m aware my art is not the best so if you dislike it, it’s okay. If you have any critic my ask is full open I’ll hear you and thank you for pasing by (for real). But if you dislike it because you thought that was a girl and become aware it’s actually a boy and you find it wrong or offensive, then Jeez, I have no words man, more than: I can’t believe it, what kind of civilization is this?
  • I don’t know what I am, I don’t care what I am but, from the bottom of my heart. I’m really sorry some of you are living hell because of this fucking nonsense world, 
  • You are beautiful, trust me. 
  • You are strong. You will be fine. And,
  • you are not alone. 

STUCK ON WHO TO SUMMON? WHATS THE BEST COLOUR? DO YOU NEED THE UNIT? AND MORE

So the ‘third’ hero fest is coming up and features 12 unique 5 star characters! The following being Ike, Celica, Ayra, Deirdre, Hector, Spring camilla, Bridal Caeda, Spring Xander, Fjorm (new character), Genny, Bridal Cordelia and Brave Lyn. 

So besides a new character and 4 old limited edition units, this banner has a 8% pull rate along with no normal 5 star pull rate meaning, there are only 12 summonable 5 stars meaning you have a very good chance of getting who you want, with each colour having 3 units.

So who to aim for first? Best to worst? Is it possible with F2P orbs?

Well to answer this first off I’m going to give you the summon rates for this banner (I did a lot  of maths for this so please spare my soul)

Summon rates

That document shows the rate to pull any singular hero on this banner. The only units not accounted for are Lute, Mia and Dorcas, as its impossible to say whether or not they will be demoted for sure, or even for this banner. No matter who does it’ll make very little difference.

Well I’ll quickly go over the important stuff here. On the spreadsheet, those in the big table shows the rate to pull any 1 hero from any one singular orb. The second, first small table shows the amount of star rated characters in a  bracket, the second shows the percentage rates (I assumed Hero fest rates for the 4/3 stars). The next table shows the rate of pulling and star ranked unit in a full summon, For example if you did a full summoning session, reds provide the most 4 stars, while green produce the least. Meanwhile the vice versa is true for 3 star units.So normally there’s a 5 star pull but since it’s skipped and just a focus, it means surprise its 8% to summon one of these focus units. 2% for each colour and 0.6~% for each unit.

However the last table shows solo picking, a method where you pick one colour orb and quit afterwards once you’ve pulled all that colour. The rates for 5 stars are as follows

Red = 9.677419355 %
Blue = 10.34482759 %
Green = 14.28571429 %
Colourless = 11.11111111%

This means if you just want 5 stars you should pull green orbs first, then colourless, followed by blue and finally Red. (Btw this applies to all 3 units in a colour, for a specific one just divide by 3)

So for those who just wanted the best colour to pull as a f2p player, the answer is green. However if you want to know if its worth the heroes or not continue reading…..

Red

The red pool features Celica, Ike and Ayra as their 5 star pulls, and is arguably the best pool in terms of unit versatility, as all these units can play offence or defence. Celica is a incredibly deadly mage with the ability to hit incredible offensive power or tank mages depending on her A slot, however it also means she can’t do both at the same time. She also has a amazing tome in ragnarok. She’s a highly suggest pool for anyone wanting a red mage. Ike is essentially bulky Ryoma, Able to hit hard and defend well, however he lacks the speed he wishes he has and is stuck being mainly enemy phase. He’s a very good sword user though. Finally there is Ayra and she is the best sword unit in the game, she makes the red pools low chance worth it. 

Should you pull?

If you need a good sword user or mage the answer is yes, or even just for Ayra, if you miss her the other two are still s tier and above. at 3.2% on just red pulls its worth the summon for the one you want.

Blue

I’m sad to say Blue is the weakest colour on the pull. Even if Fjorm turns out to be amazing, you get a free 5 star of her in the game after beating chapter 1 of book 2. Meaning unless you want ivs there is little reason. However it does boast 2 limited units being Bridal Caeda and Spring Xander. Bridal Caeda is a fast blue mage but like her normal counterpart she lacks attack to be a truly terrifying unit, shes still amazing if you get her as a blue mage but not the best. Spring Xander however is mostly outclassed by every other lance user, while he does have some niches, they are normally done by someone else still a limited unit as well.

Should you pull?

Unless you want the limited units, blue is the least of you’re concerns if looking for the best 5 stars. However Fjorm might be amazing though even then compared to the other groups…

Green

Okay so listen up Green has a HUGE PULL RATE nearly as high as that wyvern banner we had a few months ago (where all 4 units where green) Greens low pool means the 5 stars appear more often. Hector of course, is Hector and truly Amazing. Deirdre is a amazing magic wall, however if you have Julia, she’ll be able to fulfill the same role soon due to the upgrade system. Basically its if you like more bulk over attack between the two but both are solid regardless, while the final unit is Spring Camilla. A green mage flier, who if you missed out on summer Corrin and can’t be asked with Nowi, she is a great unit to have. Especially as gronnraven lets her tank bows.

Should you pull?

Yes, Green is almost always worth it, unless you have these heroes or don’t care for them Green is always gonna reward you when you hit the jackpot.

Colourless

So this is my pick for the best pulls, and yes its not colourless hell for once, more colourless heaven. Basically you have the two best archers, if not the best two units in the game, in Brave Lyn and Bridal Cordelia. They are essentially the same unit bar Lyn has a horse, and less attack while Cordelia has more Attack but is infantry. The final option is Genny who is one of the best healers in the game, but also comes with wrathful staff meaning anyone who wants to make another healer good can get this skill. Basically its worth it no matter what. Providing a 7.4% chance to get a archer and also has the second highest 4* chance, it means you’ll only go wrong if you pull a 3 star.

Should you pull?

YES BY GOD ALMIGHTY IF YOU DON’T HAVE A ARCHER NAB ONE OF THESE TWO.

That wraps it up though, if you want my advice I’d pull Colourless > Green > Red > Blue, green and red can be swapped but green has the higher rate,. While pulling every orb is solid, I’d suggest picking a colour to at least get someone you want first and then pull the rest if you pull a 5 star in a batch.

Anyway I hoped this help, and please spread this around I spent a lot of time on this

Here are my thoughts on mystic messenger V route.

People are complaining like “V and Rika are perfect” and “ don’t let V love MC” not to mention all the “soulmates” BS…..


Honestly if you notice all the “bad ends” are unhealthy relationships, throwing yourself at 707 even when he doesn’t want it, telling Zen his dreams and aspirations are childish and he shouldn’t be acting, telling Jumin he should give everything and his cat up for you, and feeding Yoosungs unhealthy obsession with Rika.

All of those bad ends are examples of unhealthy relationships, so honestly I don’t know why cheritz world leave V with an unhealthy ending before, maybe as an example? But all of you saying “he was her soul mate” and “ he would have Stayed no matter what because __________” I understand what he said….. I understand what you all think. But to be honest all you are doing is saying that this is okay.

I don’t care if it is a V route for MC, or a V route for Rika, I just hope it ends in a healthy relationship for V.

#NobadendforV and by this I mean, I want him to have just once end at least with a healthy relationship with someone…. An end where he isn’t in an abusive relationship, and an end where he is alive.

Her mental illness was no excuse for her to abuse him, just as it should be irl. This is coming from someone with mental illnesses, but also someone who had been in an abusive relationship.

If all of this was reversed, and V was a woman, Rika being a man you know you would be so upset about this. They are both mentally ill, they were in a TOXIC relationship. Please keep this in mind.

Imagine : Being Hope Mikaelson’s Twin and Kol blames the Family for constantly ignoring you (part 3)

I AM STILL CRYING ABOUT LOOSING THIS DAMN PART. SWEAR SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT THIS PART I WILL STOP WRITING THIS SERIES


Part 2 :  http://nightgirl250.tumblr.com/post/154484517050/imagine-being-hope-mikaelsons-twin-and-kol


Part 1 : http://nightgirl250.tumblr.com/post/153920428680/imagine-being-hope-mikaelsons-twin-and-kol?is_related_post=1



tagged queens: 

@thejulietfarciertlove @meggleangelo (tell me if you want to become one)



___________________________________________________________



Young!Reader x Uncle!Kol, Young!Reader x Father!Klaus, Young!Reader x Uncle!Elijah





I took a deep breath as the cold air pricked my skin. * why is it so fucking cold *. I pull my jacket closer to my body as the wind blows down the school hallway. “Hurry up Y/n,” my friends Jason and Kara say waiting for me at the gym door. We were heading to the gym since we have to go talk to our gym coach about the pacer test along with meet Hope. ^ Whoopee!^


“Slow down guys remember crouches,” I say tilting my head to the crutches in my hands. “Sorry Black Canary,” says Jason using my nicknames while scratching the back of his head as I finally catch up with them. “It’s fine to let’s just go before lunch ends I am hungry,” I said as we head into the gym when I remembered my plan. I still need to give Jason and Kara the goodbye letters. *Oh yeah soon I won’t see them for as long as they think we will. At least now I won’t be able to bother them anymore. Jason won’t have to wait for me at the end of the street so we could talk. And he could go out with Hope like he wanted to. Kara would have less competition when it comes to ballet tryouts. I am doing them a solid they don’t need to baby me anymore. No one will not even myself* I thought. *The voices will stop no more looking at the knife, in lust. Or wanting to kill someone, along with dreams of torture*. ^Yeah honey like we said your end is the end^. I felt like screaming as the Voice poisonous sound rings through me.


“Hey are you ok, ” asks Kara. “Yeah don’t worry about it I am just thinking about something,”.^More like hearing something, but don’t worry it will end soon just remember the goodbye^.

“Hey if you guys don’t see me for a while, remember that I love you guys ok, “I said not looking at them to see their faces.

“What do you mean are you going somewhere ?” Said Kara frantic, she was always caring for me but if you annoy her too long she will fight you in a heartbeat. “No nothing major just you know visiting some family for a while, ” I said as Jason goes to talk to out gym coach for us while we talk. ^family on the other side^

“But why all your family lives in New Orleans?”She asked. “No not all of them I have am Aunt who lives in Maryland,”I lie.^Ooohh lying you your best friend when you know it’s your last time to see her how pityful^

“How long is a while? Wait are you sure cause Hop–”


“Look it doesn’t matter what Hope says or doesn’t I am nor Hope nor will I ever be.  I am just going away for some time and to answer your how long question. I am not sure but I will come back ok?” I lie. *Thou I hate lying to them it is necessary for their own good. She doesn’t need to know, I am just a burden her parents don’t even like me as they prefer Hope. Once again Hope wins The Voices in my head win. But soon it won’t matter I am ending this soon maybe in the next life I will be happier. *


“Plus I am going cause of family issues something happened with Hope and they think it’s best I go away for a while. just for two weeks,“ I said then took out her letter. ” Here in two days open this letter if I don’t tell you everything that’s going on OK? But you gotta promise me that you won’t tell Jason, I will tell him later on in the day okay.“ She nodded. I wanted to tell her more. Tell her everything but I knew if I did then she would try to convince me not too which wouldn’t help anyone.


“Hey,” said Jason poking my cheek and breaking me from my thoughts. “Huh,” I turn to face then but both of then have confusion written on their face.“Sorry just thinking of when we are going for the trip,” I said acting excited.


“Are you sure?” said Kara death staring me in the eyes and poking my chest. “Yes, Kara I am 100% sure now stop poking me,” I said moving away from her so she nor Jason can poke me. Jason frowns while Kara fake cries. “Oh hey guys,” said Hope as she joins us. We haven’t talked ever since she came into my room last week, which I am grateful for but sadly she decided to hang out with Kara, and Jason. I don’t get how someone can be so fake. She acts like we never had a problem with each other in the first place.*^I do it’s just like how you’re being fake about killing yourself^ Ignoring the voice to best I can I focus on what it in front of me. Jason and Kara are laughing at some joke Hope said. *Jason, kara I am going to miss you two so much but this is for your own good you guys can’t be doing this to you guys, pulling you into my life no point punishing you guys for my sins and mistakes.* I thought.^Yet here you are still in their lives hurry up ^ 


“Yeah I  just a lot on my mind,” I said leaning onto him. Jason, Kara and I always had this kind of relationship. Always caring and supporting each other.  *It doesn’t matter now does it. It’s too later be thinking about that, not like things will get better or something.* I thought as we were about to enter the cafeteria when Kara was called for early dismissal.^finally your thinking like me so why don’t you finish it ^ I felt like another person was in the room whispering this in my ears, but guess what I am falling for it.

I pull Kara in for a hug, not a side hug like I normally do but a full one. I take in her scent as she wraps her arms around me. She smells like strawberries and banana. I felt happy in her arms as her body heat radiates onto me.I felt at peace, nothing could make me mad, or want to cry, the bad thoughts went away. I was at peace and happy, but like all good stuff, it must come to an end  "See you tomorrow,“ she said as we let go then ran off. I felt tears prick my eyes. “Come Canary time food,” Jason puts his arm around me as we went over to the lunch line.^Yeah get your last meal before you pass^ said Voice, might as well give it a name since it will with me till my end.


——————————-Time skip bros end of the school day ———————


I took a deep breath as I walk over to the outside bench with Jason, my crush, behind me. “Hey, are you OK?” He said as he places our stuff down and takes a seat. “ Yeah Just haven’t been getting the best sleep,” I sorta lie.^liar liar death on fire ^


The truth is that I try not to sleep at all and use coffee creamer to stay up planning my end and writing my goodbye letters. Half of my goodbyes are finished. And I already choose the outfit I am going to wear. Just cause I am going to die doesn’t mean I cannot be happy as I do it. But mostly it’s because at night I have nightmares and I wake up screaming which annoys the living hell out of everyone at home, one way to not annoy them is to not sleep ya know.


“So when do you want me to come over for Ms.Greene’s. Project ?”

“Oh right about that—”. ^You can’t cause I am going to kill myself ^ I shake my head trying to get those word out of my head.


“Let me guess I can’t cause of family issues and you cannot come to my house cause Your not allowed out the house for reasons your not telling me,” he said. I felt guilty for leaving him hanging so much lately. We have been best friends since pre-k. We used to play with the building blocks as Marcel would take us to the playground. I sigh as Jason rubs the back of his neck.”What is up with you ever since Kara and I have been hanging out with Hope and you got your leg hurt you have just been so distant


“Look Jason I know I normally tell you everything but honestly. I think I just need some space,” I said. I grew cold with every word I said to him. I am not sure if it was because of the cold but I knew it was most likely for the best. ^You’re going to die soon don’t make it harder for us ^ said Voice in my head.


“So are you still gonna come to my basketball game today after school right?” His eyes lighted. I  wanted to yes so I can see crush the  other team.“ No, I won’t I got to head to the Quarter house,” I said to him. His smile disappears from his face.


“B-but you always come to them so we can have Ice cream,” I take a deep breath .*I wish we could do that forever * I thought as I took his hand in mine  "Look Jason I know we always do that but I can’t this time —“


“Ahh  Y/n there you are.  ” I said Uncle Elijah and Hope. I quickly let go of Jason’s hand and put my hands on my crutches. * shoot I forgot Uncle Elijah was picking me and Hoe I mean Hope up* I thought as Jason picks up his books. I opened my mouth to talk him but he was already walking away. “I will finish Ms.Greene’s  project on my own. let you have some Space,” he spat out the words like daggers then disappeared in the distance between us.


I place my stuff in my backpack, slipped it on and went to Uncle Elijah and Hope beginning our trek to the house.


I pull out my iPod and headphones and start listening to ‘work out’ by j cole. He is one of Jason and I favorite singers. We walked together for thirty-five minutes before Uncle Elijah actually talks to me. Hope is on Uncle Elijah back since she got tired ten minutes ago from walking.

*honestly Uncle Elijah the Little shit can walk on her own  * I thought and continued walking thinking about Jason and I’s relationship if still even have one after today. ^what is there to think about it’s over and you ruined it ^ I felt my heart churn at her voice. *shut it voice*

———————————————————————————————————————-

It’s been two hours since we got home and so far, it’s just been Mom and sperm donner yelling at each other about something that is most likely about Hope or some ‘new enemy ’. I sigh as hear another vase slams my door again. *Uncle Elijah going to yell * I thought. At first, when they occurred I was scared out of my mind, but now I am used to it it doesn’t matter.


^Honestly, what is there for me to worry about. I am not gonna be here in the future so I am fine Right? Why don’t you just pick up a knife and slit your throat no one will notice your dead until the deed is done^. I hugged my pillow closer to my chest and pushed the hollow feeling into the back of my mind. I found these thoughts popping up in my head more often lately. Maybe it was bound to happen you know. ^So what are you gonna go^ said the voice.  

I get off of my bed and walk over to my closet, get into my good bye clothes (https://www.polyvore.com/my_good_bye/set?id=215314515), my wonder woman hat on top. I grab my birthday money and Uncle Elijah old phone which he let me have, doesn’t have a sim card but it still works, and the directions to place. I grab the rest of the letters I need to give and put them in my backpack. “Now the major problem getting out of this house,” I said until it finally hit me.


 I took off all of my bed sheets, which were a lot by the way, off from the bed then threw them out the window. I placed them in a way that they fall one on top of another. I took the pillow cases off of my pillows and threw them down as well. I tossed out my crutches. *I Hope I survive * I thought as I balance standing on the edge of the window. I pull the pillows to my chest and do the leap of faith from assassin’s creed, but it was kinda hard to do with my hurt leg. I groan as I hit the ground even though I made a pile it still hurt. I grabbed my crutches and struggled to get off of the blankets. Once that was over, head straight for Rousseau (Marcel and Cami’s bar). By the time I got there Cami’s shift was hadn’t begun yet thankfully. The room was full of people. I was about to take a seat when ” Y/n what are you doing here,“ said Marcel after I nearly have a heart attack. Thou would kill me it’s not the way I want to go.


 “Oh hey Marcel, how are you?” I said giving him a fake smile but I knew he wasn’t falling for it.“Nice try Y/n ” he said as we take a seat at a nearby table. “So mind telling me what you are doing here?” “I wanted to give this to you,” I said taking out the letters for him and Cami. “They are thank you letters for you and Cami. I wasn’t able to give Jason his either so can you give it to him? ,” I place them onto the table and slide it over to him. “I was hoping to see both of you here. but since Cami isn’t here can you please give this to her?” I query.


 He nods his head and takes the letters. I fight the tears and smile that threaten to break my heartless facade, but I couldn’t help but smirk at knowing those who I truly care about knowing how I feel about them. But as soon as it came it went.“So mind telling me what you are doing giving this to me,” he asked. *Oh Uncle Marcel even thou I didn’t say it a lot to you ‘I love you ’ you may not be blood but you are no water* I thought as I give him a smile. “No Uncle Marcel just a simple thank you letter were supposed to write and deliver one to those who you love,” I said getting up from the table and left Rousseau, leaving Marcel alone looking at the letters.


 _________________________time skip arrival death place_______________




“Finally” passing the entrance of the local indoor pool. No one was here other than me. I passed the locker area and went to the pool. *Huh the little shit is about to do it finally. Thought you were gonna plague the world some more. I don’t see why you are here still you made it this far let’s do it shall we* I wanted to fight the voice but I knew it was no choice. The reason I chose the pool was because of it the one place that no one would look for me. 


When I was young Jason and I would come here with Cassandra Winchester sometimes we all would just play on the not deep side of the pool, but we stopped once she left for a mission and never came back. I highly doubt Jason even remembers this place. No one else knows about this place since I never told anyone about it. The light from the water light up the entire room so it wasn’t dark. I didn’t take off my shoes or jewelry since they all had meant something to me. I walk over to the deep side of the pool that was 7ft. “Goodbye life,” I said then dropped into the water. 


The cold temperature pricked my skin but I didn’t let it bother me as I sank to the bottom. My vision was blurry but I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the water or lack of oxygen. I felt my body slowly sink close to the pools floor*Finally this is it. You free now you don’t have to burden others with your presence.* I thought as black spots blur my vision. I suddenly felt more tired than usual. *maybe a good rest* I slowly close my eyes and release the all the air in my lungs as darkness kills me.

_________Third POV at home_______________time past____________ _____________________________________________________________


No one notices how Y/n has jumped from her bedroom window over Klaus’s screaming. Kol rolls his eyes as his brother talks about how high and mighty he now that he is a hybrid. “Dear Brother Niklaus might you please stop screaming before Hope wakes up,” said Elijah Pouring himself a drink of whiskey. “Klaus opens his mouth to say more but nothing comes out. He storms out of the house slamming the door in his rage making Hope stir in her sleep. “Well that was dramatic,” said Hayley walking into the living room with a tea in her hand. “Has anyone ever told you that is how this family works,” said Cami sitting down next to her. “Cami doesn’t your shift start soon,” said Elijah, Cami chokes on her drink then runs out the room to get to work.


 “Mommmmyyyy!!!!!!” Screamed Hope, the Originals immediately run to her side. She was inside her sister’s room with a letter in her hand. Tears ran down her cheeks as Hayley comforts her child. “Hope what’s wrong?“Said, Elijah, while taking the letter out of her hands. He nearly passes out from what he reads.“There is one in everyone’s room” Hope stuttered holding onto her mother. Elijah hands the letter to Kol, who just stared dead at the letter noticing Y/n’s handwriting, Elijah walks out the room and quickly collects all the other letters.


 “Hope what happened?” said Kol trying not to be angry after reading Hope’s letter.


“Y/n is committing suicide,” she said.


 Everyone froze upon hearing this. That one of their loved ones was willing to take their own life and no one knew why or how she would scream in her pillow at night or how she tried not to sleep til the point she naturally has insomnia. “Why would she do that?” Asked Freya. 


“Why wouldn’t she, you always favor Hope more than her. You didn’t even notice that she was kidnapped,” said Kol glaring at him family “Brother do we—” “STOP BLOODY LYING. DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER HER MIDDLE NAME OR THE LAST TIME YOU LET HER CHOOSE FOR HER BIRTHDAY,” screamed Kol. “You ignore her cause she is human. Cause she isn’t as powerful as Hope. Yet you forget that you were once the same as her but at least we had someone who noticed and cared at least we had each other,” said Kol. “Rebekah,” he said pointing to her “ you have been begging for a human in this family and when we finally have one you ignore the girl”. Rebekah opens her mouth but no words come out. 


“Aaahh and the mother,” he said turning to Hayley. “You wondered about how you treated both of them so badly, but guess what you did even worse you only cared for one,” he spats. Hayley glares at Kol but knows deep down is words are completely right. She never once thought about what Y/n would want to do for her birthday or how she would drink coffee in the morning. “You people may not care for her but I do and I won’t let you people be the reason of her death,” said Kol, storming out the house. Everyone one froze upon hearing these words. The thought of Y/n finally ringing in their heads. Hope dries her her eyes and pulls her mom into a hug. 


The despair was too great that you could cut it with a knife. “I will begin a locator spell,” Freya walks out the door with Y/n’s necklace to begin the spell. Rebekah follows silently out of the house. “Elijah w–"Hayley opens her mouth to ask him a question when she already knows the answer. ‘Was Y/n ever treated like Hope’. They all knew the answer is ‘No’. “ Hope honey its time for bed, ” said Hayley.“ Uncle Elijah will look for Y/n and by tomorrow we will have her back I promise she will be back alive,” Hayley pulls hee daughter in for a hug, Elijah leaves the room but not after placing all the remaining letters on Y/n’s desk before leaving. Hope nods her head and gets ready for bed by herself for the first time in her life. Her mother asked if she needed help, but she denied it and continued on her own. "Mommy you should go find Y/n I will be fine,” Hayley nods and follows her request and leaves the house.

the-sixth-month  asked:

I know I already told you (but that doesnt matter because Im sure you dont remember me) that I love how you draw Stan. And... basically everything else. I figured you draw everything in special shapes! I for myself try to draw more in shapes for drawing pracitce and not with these skeletons. You are really good at this! Maybe if you have time and if you want to, could you give me/us a small toturial? And maybe you dont even draw with shapes and its just me haha... Thank! :3

Thank you! But oh gosh, I really am the last person you should ask for a tutorial. I don’t think I have any conscious technique to it, I just sort of wing it. But I’m gonna try my best to explain my thoughts on different body types and how I draw them! I don’t draw shapes in the way I think you mean. At least I’m guessing you’re referring to something like this:

While I think this could actually be a pretty good way to go about it, this isn’t how I work. What I do is, I draw a rough outline of the character using a thick brush. Let’s take the sketch and line art of this drawing of Stan as an example:

So as you can see, there’s no real shapes or help lines or anything like that. But what I can tell you is this: when I draw bodies I always try to make them as dynamic as possible! My tip for drawing bodies is EXAGGERATE, EXAGGERATE, EXAGGERATE! Exaggerate the body types of different characters to add variety! Exaggerate different parts of the same character to make them more dynamic!

Since we’re on the topic of Stan, let’s talk about Stan and Ford. Identical twins with different body shapes? You can bet your sweet ass I’m gonna exaggerate those two in completely different directions! Identical twins are like the holy grail of character design practice - take two characters with the same face and see just how different you can make them! Let’s draw a quick doodle of the Stan twins:

Even in the rough outline you can clearly tell who’s who just from their body shapes. If you want to practice drawing different body types, I highly recommend trying to make the characters distinct from each other at the earliest possible stage of your drawing. Try to make it so that even from a rough sketch with no facial features or clothes you’ll still be able to tell which character is which!

Why am I going on about this? Because body shapes should not be treated as an afterthought! They need to be there, right from the beginning, right from the very first draft! I quite often see people draw fat characters that just look… odd. And you know why they look odd? Because it looks like the artist just sketched an average person and then added some chub during the line art process. Human bodies don’t really work like that! Unless we’re talking like a beer belly here, then the fat will be more evenly distributed across at least part of the body. This affects things like breadth of shoulders and hips, in other words the very frame of the body. If you’re a cartoonist, just adding some chub to a sketch of an average frame will never get a result that is as good and dynamic as a character than was drawn as fat from the very first draft (and this is why I think working from shapes can be very beneficial!).

Okay, so drawing different body types requires both planning and variety. But how do I go about designing a body? Well, personally, I work a lot with contrast, not only between different characters, but also within a single character. Since we’re on the subject of the Stan twins, let’s talk about Ford a bit. Ever wondered why I draw him with the same skinny legs as Stan, even though they’re thicker than his in canon? Well, part of it is because I draw them as identical and thus their fat distribution would work in the same way. But more importantly, it’s because my art style relies heavily on contrast in order to make characters appear as dynamic as possible!

I often draw characters like this – where one half of the body is broad/thick and the other narrow/thin. Let’s refer to it as ‘horizontal exaggeration’.

But what if I want to draw a character that is thin or thick all over? Can I still make them exaggerated and dynamic? Heck yeah, I can! Let’s talk about, uh, let’s call it ‘vertical exaggeration’! On the average human being, the midpoint of the body is at crotch level. Playing around with this midpoint helps a lot with making cartoony body types more dynamic!

Want to draw an overall thin character? Putting their crotch line higher up than usual will help emphasize how gangly they are. Meanwhile, a fat or stocky character is often drawn with a lower crotch line to help emphasize their girth.

In summary… I don’t really have any special techniques to teach anyone, but I really want to encourage people not to be afraid to exaggerate when it comes to body shapes! Exaggerate horizontally! Exaggerate vertically! Make those bodies weird and dynamic! I realize this is more of a rambling mess then a tutorial, but, uh…  I hope someone might have found this helpful?

And last but not least… Don’t worry if you can’t draw different body types just yet – just keep drawing and practicing and you’ll get the hang of it eventually! I think a lot of us have been at that stage where we were only able to draw skinny characters. Let’s take a look at how I drew bodies 8 and a half years ago and end this with a laugh!

If I can move past this stage, then so can all of you! Just keep drawing, keep practicing, and most of all, keep having fun doing it! Good luck!

The Last Time

Heartbreak and sadness are of the deadliest poisons, for they kill you slowly in misery. 

Genre: smut and angst

Sehun continued to pound into you. He kept a steady pace and made sure to hit all the right angles. Your head board continuously hit wall, sure to leave a dent. Sweat made stray hairs cling to your forehead. Looking at Sehun’s body above was like a dream. From his chiseled abs, the his arms that were just the right amount of toned, up to his jaw line that was so sharp, you swore it could cut diamonds. You ran your hands over his chest and over his shoulders, playing with the hair at the base of his neck as he brought you closer to your release.

 "You’re so tight, even after all this time.“ He grunted, a sheen of sweat forming on his face as he picked up the pace. You moaned in response, filled with to much pleasure to form sounds besides wanton moans and mewls. You reached up and cupped his cheek in your hand before bringing your lips together. It was a battle of teeth and tongue. Each of you battled for the upper hand, but in the end you let him win, you always did. He pulled on your bottom lip with his teeth as he felt your walls clenching around him.

 "I’m so close Sehun” you breathed. 

 "Cum for me baby" he replied hiking you leg over his hip and angling deeper inside you. Soon you were seeing white as the knot in your stomach came undone. His name fell from your lips as you rode out your high. Sehun soon followed suit, pulling out and releasing his seed onto your stomach. Without wasting a second he was off the bed and pulling his boxers back on. 

 "Here" he mentioned tossing a towel in your direction, “clean yourself up. See you tomorrow.” With that he gathered his remaining clothes and walked out your bedroom door. It had been like this for months, meeting in the middle of the night for a meaningless hookup, only to pretend you were acquaintances the next day. You were one of the many assistants at SM entertainment. You had gotten the position on a fluke, but you were grateful for the job nonetheless. Sehun had immediately noticed the new girl, prancing through the halls in her modest heels, politely greeting various idols and board members that came in. What captivated him the most was how you looked like a shy, girl next door type on the outside, but you held a glint in your eye that said otherwise. He had a feeling you could be quite dirty outside of work, and he was right. He had made you a proposition; to hookup with him and help him relive stress. Although it was a shocking proposition, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you would benefit by sleeping with one of your favorite exo members. It was a win win for both of you, and there were no rules against dating idols in your contract, so you obliged. Not 1 month after you started your job did the secret meet ups start, and when you were almost a year into working there, and the secret was still safe. 

_____________

 You heard your front door being opened and silently shut seconds later, signaling he had left. You sighed and moved to clean yourself up before showering, a feeling of sadness washing over you.  

Probably just the gloomy weather. You thought to yourself as rain continued to fall outside. 

With one last look out the bathroom window, you stepped into your hot shower, feeling instantly relaxed. You let the water consume you, running through your hair and then down your body. No matter how hot you made the water, you couldn’t rid yourself of the guilt and shame you felt after every fuck. You knew it was wrong, no matter how much you wanted it to be right. Even though you were able to silence your conscious every time Sehun wanted to come over, you couldn’t keep it quiet forever. Every time he left there was the nagging feeling tugging at you, eating you from the inside out. Self loathing would spread through every corner of your body, making you regret your decision, only for you to make it again the next day. 

One day I will say no to him…. one day

___________  

“Ms. ____________, please put this in the storage room for me." 

 "Of course sir” you replied to your supervisor with a light bow. 

 "After you may take your lunch.“ 

 "Thank you sir” was your response to his retreating figure. He was so busy that you hardly ever saw him. When you did, he usually gave you a list of things to do. You rendered yourself lucky this time. As you began taking the supplies to the room like he asked, you felt your phone vibrate. Carefully placing your items down, you read what was on the screen.

 Also, I need for you to organize the file room. The paper work hasn’t been filed away properly, and it’s getting out of hand. Once that is finished, you may go home. 

“Spoke to soon” you mumbled mostly to yourself. Hopefully the file room wasn’t that bad, You wanted nothing more than to go home and just relax. ___________ 

 The file room was pretty destroyed when you had walked in. Someone had obviously been looking for something, but didn’t want to clean their mess up after. Thankfully, after an hour of organizing, you were almost done. You were bending down to put a file in the bottom drawer when someone came up behind you and shut the door. The sound of it locking filled the quiet space. 

 "I found you" 

 You didn’t have to turn around to know who was there. It was none other than Oh Sehun. He walked up behind you and placed his hands on your hips. You felt his hardening member pressing into your ass. 

 "What do you say we have a quickie before I take off for practice?“ He breathed into your ear as you stood. His breath fanned across your neck as he spoke and it sent chills straight to your core. 

 I have to tell him no, my job could be jeopardized for sleeping with an idol on the clock. But he is so tempting… stupid sexy Sehun. 

He interrupted you internal debate by nibbling on the spot below your ear, his hands found their way around your waist and rested right above your womanhood. You wanted to nothing more than to lean into his touch and give into his needs, but your job was on the line. 

 "I can’t” you finally responded, removing his hands from your body and ultimately turning to see him. Disappointment flashed across his features before being replaced with his signature resting bitch face. 

 "Why? Do you suddenly have morals?“ He retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. That was a low blow, you both knew that. 

 "What is that supposed to mean?” Irritation was itching to come out as you spoke, but you held your composure. 

 "Maybe it means that you are such a good slut for me when we meet outside of work, but now you are being a prude.“ His words stabbed through you like a knife. But he wasn’t done. 

 "You do realize I could easily hookup with any one of the assistants in this office right? Who knows, maybe they would be a better fuck than you.” 

Saying you were hurt was an understatement. His words pierced your heart like a dull rusted knife that he kept twisting and twisting as he continued to insult you. You had let your feelings for him go to far, and now you were paying the price as your little charade fell to pieces in front of your eyes. How stupid of you to think that you could be happy with your friend with benefits deal you had with Sehun. What a fool you were for loving this man. Your pride was hurt, and you wanted nothing more than to yell and scream at him, to tell him he was a bastard and didn’t deserve your love. But alas you couldn’t do that. So you heaved a heavy sigh, swallowed your pride and simply stated, 

” I do realize that. Which is why I am ending things here. Last night was the last time Sehun. Have a good life. Exo fighting!“ 

 You walked pat him, brushing your shoulder against him as you did. With unsteady hands you unlocked the door and walked out, leaving a speechless Sehun in your wake.

__________ 

A week had passed since that day. You had put in your 2 week notice promptly after the incident. Sehun held true to his word of hooking up with another assistant. It was as if you meant nothing to him. But that’s how it works right? A normal girl falls in love with the idol, they have their share of fun together and the idol leaves for bigger and better things. While you tried your hardest to let go of the idea of Sehun, it was proving to be difficult. So hopefully after leaving the company, you would have a better chance at healing, at least that what you desperately hoped for. This was what you wanted for yourself after all. To be more than just an easy fuck to someone. To have meaning to someone. 

You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn’t watch where you were going. Next thing you knew, your documents were on the floor and so were you. 

 "I am so sorry, are you ok?” You looked up to the angelic voice that was currently helping you gather your belongings. It was another member of Sehun’s group, the leader of it actually, Kim Junmyeon, or Suho, as his fans liked to call him.

 "Oh I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going and I was so lost in my thoughts and I-“ 

 "You don’t have to explain yourself to me” he concluded with a silky laugh. He grabbed your hand and pulled you to a standing position. Trying not to let him see how sheepish you were feeling, you smoothed out the non existent wrinkles in your skirt. 

 "I do have to ask though, what was clouding your thoughts so much that you didn’t look to see where you were walking? You seemed like you were lost since way over there.“ He gestured to the hall you had just came from, which was a good 50 feet away. 

You didn’t realize how long you were immersed in your inner turmoil. Out of nervous habit, you began biting your bottom lip. Answering his question was hard, but you didn’t want to lie to him either. Instead of responding you just looked down. 

 "It’s about Sehun isn’t it” he gently questioned, barely loud enough for you to hear. Cautiously you looked up at him and was met with a sympathetic gaze. 

He has to know what had happened, there was no way he couldn’t

Sehun was his roommate so you were sure that suho knew of everything. Shame overtook you, crashing down upon you in harsh waves. A hurricane of guilt and discomfort filled you, flooding your entirety and looking for an escape through tears. You tried hard to hold them back, to ashamed to make yourself vulnerable to suho, and to cautious to let anyone know how much the whole situation affected you. Silent sobs fought to break through you, making your shoulders shake and your breathing become less than perfect. 

 "Hey, don’t cry" he cooed, gently lifting your chin so he could see your face. He saw how broken you really were. You had loved Sehun. He could see that written all over your face. Sehun had broken your heart into a million pieces and moved on like it was nothing to him. He felt terrible for what the maknae had done to the pretty girl who always had a smile on her face while she worked. 

He gently used the pad of his thumb to wipe the cascade of tears from your cheeks. Your struggle to remain stoic was over as you let go of all the pent up emotions. All the frustration, all the loneliness, and all the heart break. Suho sensed your need to cry and pulled you into his chest, one arm wrapping around your waist while the other soothingly rubbed your back. As if out of instinct, you grabbed onto his shirt and cried your eyes out, destroying the designer material in the process. You didn’t care how red your face got or how much your makeup ran in that moment. All that mattered was that you had finally let your wall down and all the emotions were flooding out and into the arms of someone you felt you could trust, even if you had just barely met a few moments back. Suho continued rubbing your back, pulling you tighter against him as your sons began to quiet down. 

 "It’s going to be all right" he repeated like a mantra as he continued his ministrations, “it’s going to be all right." 

 ___________ 

Sehun had just caught word from a few other assistants in the office that you had planned on leaving. Even though he had moved onto another easy lay in the building, it didn’t mean he was ready to let you go. He stormed through the halls, looking in all the places you usually were. When all those places turned out to be dead ends, he decided to ask the front desk of your where abouts. Quickly rounding the corner, he got his answer before even asking, because there before him was you, curled up in the arms of his groups leader suho.

-Sara

A/N: I found this while cleaning out my computer, and I am debating whether or not to continue it. Let me know if you want another part ^^

Originally posted by fy-sexo-exo

Ten Years (Part 8)

Summary: AU. When a major account is on the line at work, reader is forced to revisit some old connections at her ten year high school reunion for a chance at success. Will she let the past consume her, or will she see the future in her grasp?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,475 (minus the flashback) (yes I need to stop)

Warnings: language, sarcasm, fluff, mentions of past cheating, drinking, potentially anxious situations, confrontation, crying (every chapter has the same warnings because I’m melodramatic)

A/N: Tags are closed. I rewrote this whole damn thing again, and I’m an angsty bag of trash today, so it’s completely reflected here. I kept asking myself out loud, “Why are you like this?”

Part: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13

Originally posted by sebjpeg

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i'm so curious to see how you perceive call it what you want from a singer-songwriter perspective! like everybody can talk about it from a fan perspective but you actually have more insight because you've written original songs before and they're so lovely. i would love an indepth reaction xx

OK FIRST OF ALL THIS IS NICE?? THANK YOU this message made me really happy. ok time to dive in 

so my first initial thought was “oh my god the beat????” like from peoples posts and from the other 3 songs i thought it would be more fast paced like those BUT ITS NOT AND I LOVE IT. i saw that taylor liked a post where someone said it sounds like she’s underwater and I AGREE. like it flows so nicely and the track/melody fits so well with the message and the lyrics AAAAND the track isn’t like too much or too in your face yknow?? it makes me feel like im cruising top down in a convertible with the love of my life and the sun is shining and everything has fallen into place. CANT RELATE BUT ONE DAY IM HOPING TOO JDHKJSDH

okay the LYRICS. LET’S TALK ABOUT THE LYRICS LADIES….. WOW. with gorgeous i memorized it really fast because it felt like the lyrics rolled off the tongue those lyrics are like phrases you would say in a conversation, but you’re also like “oh wow id never think to put that in a song!” BUT WITH THIS SONG … FUCK!!!!! 

“My castle crumbled over night / I brought a knife to a gun fight / they took the crown, but it’s alright” My favorite thing about lyrics is that there’s so many word combinations and Taylor is SO GOOD at stringing along beautiful sentences. Like she easily could have been like “PEOPLE ARE MEAN” but instead she word vomited that lyric? that’s my mom out there!!!!! Also the fucking line I’m doing better than I ever was” really gets me because I know a lot of us were scared she was having a rough time, and not because she can’t handle it, but because we worry and people are cruel. SHES OUT HERE THRIVING 

HOHOHOHO THE CHORUS … IT MAKES ME WANT TO BE IN LOVE. LIKE THE WHOLE SONG DOES BUT LIKE THE CHORUS SPECIFICALLY IS SO LIGHT AND HOPEFUL!!!! I’m really good at being single and bitter but NOW I WANNA BE IN LOVE SOMEONE GET ME A BOYFRIEND

“All my flowers grew back as thorns” at first this line made me sad but then I realized being/having thorns isn’t really a bad thing? Roses have thorns and they’re still beautiful. Taylor is still herself but she’s stronger and she knows that. I just want to take a moment of silence for the line “He built a fire just to keep me warm” my heart is melting rn. “Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right.” FUCK ME THE FUCK UP SHES BEEN BURNED BY LOVE MULTIPLE TIMES BUT SHE KNOWS HE’S THE ONE AND SHE COULDN’T CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT SHE HAS SPENT HER WHOLE FIGHTING FOR ~~~you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars~~~

I could go on but I need to calm down because no one’s gonna want to read all this JFHSDJFH but I really do love this song all around SO MUCH!! I think it really shows that you can make a ‘pop’ song but with bomb as hell lyrics and an emotional meaning :’) I truly hope one day my writing abilities are half this amazing

Some thoughts on the Watson marriage

First of all, upfront: I believe Mary and John sincerely loved each other and were genuinely trying to make their relationship work. But clearly, at least on some levels, it was not working, and I want to play armchair marriage counsellor for a bit and look at why.

So, obviously, the first major misstep in their marriage is Mary lying about her history and identity, and then shooting John’s best friend to protect her secret.  Why didn’t she just tell him who she was from the beginning? 

MARY: John can’t ever know that I lied to him. It would break him and I would lose him forever.

She was terrified that he wouldn’t love her if he found out about her past.  What might have given her that idea?  What messages was John sending her that his love was conditional on her being ordinary, sweet, and safe?

In some ways, John’s behavior after he finds out the truth proves her fears unjustified.  Though he struggles for a while, he doesn’t leave her, and he makes a renewed commitment to their relationship.  So far so good.  But look at what he says to her:

JOHN: The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future … are my privilege. It’s all I have to say. It’s all I need to know.

It’s a very romantic moment, and clearly well-intentioned. And Mary is grateful for his forgiveness, and agrees to move forward with him.  But there’s a mixed message hidden in John’s statement.  In throwing away the thumb drive unread, he’s confirming her suspicion that he can’t love the person she was in the past, only the persona she has created.  

MARY: You don’t even know my name.
JOHN: Is ‘Mary Watson’ good enough for you?

Here again – it’s a lovely and romantic sentiment, but even as Mary was thrilled to accept his forgiveness, she must have gotten the message that Mary Watson is acceptable, but her history as Rosamund is not.  That could only have heightened her sense of insecurity in the relationship.  It would have been a much more generous gesture on John’s part if he had simply asked her name at that moment, instead of shoving it into the closet of things we must never speak of.

In TST, John acts surprised that Mary is still keeping secrets from him, but what choice did he give her?  He basically told her there’s this whole part of her life that he doesn’t want to hear about.  

And when he does catch her in her lies, John tries to be understanding, but he makes another small mistake with big repercussions:

JOHN: Mary, I may not be a very good man, but I think I’m a bit better than you give me credit for, most of the time.

I think what he means is that he’s not as judgmental as she thinks – she doesn’t need to hide from him, because he would support her even in difficult times.  But by phrasing it in terms of him being “good”, he also unintentionally reminds her that she is not good.  This is a difference between them in her mind: he is good and she is bad.  

MARY: You’re always a good man, John. I’ve never doubted that. You never judge; you never complain. I don’t deserve you.

She seems here to be accepting his claim that he won’t judge her. But in saying that she doesn’t deserve him, she’s highlighting the fact that he makes her feel lesser, which makes her insecure and leads her to lie and misrepresent herself in order to seem “good” enough for him.  

Once they get back home, she states this problem again, even more clearly:

MARY: You don’t make it easy, do you?
JOHN: What d’you mean?
MARY: Well, being … being so perfect.

Unmistakably, she is trying to tell him how hurt she is by the roles they’ve unwittingly assigned each other: Perfect John and Bad Mary.  And at last, it seems like John gets it. Before they’re interrupted, he starts to tell her about his affair in an effort to reassure Mary that neither of them is perfect.  It feels like the best chance they have for a fresh start based on a better understanding of and respect for each other as real, flawed people.

Then, sadly, Mary dies before they are able to hash this out. And one of the most tragic elements of her death scene is this:

MARY: Being Mary Watson was the only life worth living.

Mary wants to leave their relationship on the best note possible, but it breaks my heart that even with her dying breaths, she feels the best way to do this is to deny the “bad Rosamund” that John always seemed to be rejecting, and present herself as the “good Mary” that she believed John wanted her to be.

And the thing is, I don’t think John ever intended her to feel that way.  He wears a conventional veneer, but Sherlock is right – deep down, John wanted to be with someone as dangerous and morally grey as he is.  He initially thought he wanted perfect Mary, but he really fell in love with the more complicated Rosamund underneath.

And yet, even though he loved her, forgave her, and respected her for the most part, a part of him was still angry and resentful over Mary’s betrayal, and I think he unconsciously picked on her for it in these subtle ways.  

Which is understandable, if not ideal.  But what *really* saddens me is what John says at the end of TLD:

JOHN: I’m not the man you thought I was; I’m not that guy. I never could be. But that’s the point. That’s the whole point. Who you thought I was… is the man who I want to be.

No, John, no!  He’s so close here, but then he gets it so wrong.  Mary doesn’t want you to be that perfect man she thought you were! Mary thought that dude was kind of a jerk!  And she was right, honestly.  What Mary was trying to tell you is, that man is sanctimonious, patronizing, and judgmental.  DON’T BE THAT GUY.  No one likes that guy, least of all Mary.  

Mary didn’t want a “good man”, she wanted a partner in crime. Someone who understood her and respected her – ALL of her, not just the pretty and well-behaved bits.  At your best, John, you were that partner, but at your worst, you were a superior, scolding, hypocritical prig.

I’m not sure, but I think (I hope?) this is what Sherlock’s getting at during this exchange:

SHERLOCK: It’s not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling, from time to time, that we might all just be human.
JOHN: Even you?
SHERLOCK: No. Even you.

The lesson John needs to learn is not to be a better man for the perfect, imaginary version of Mary in his head, but to be kinder and more accepting and empathetic to the real, flawed person Mary actually was.  And to honor her memory, perhaps be kinder and more accepting and empathetic to people like her – including himself.

Hello! I’m new to Studyblr so I thought I’d take my first post as an opportunity to introduce myself.

  • I’m Joel and I come from the UK!
  • I’m 17 years old and I was born on the 11th February.
  • I’m a first year A-Level Student studying English Literature, History & Mathematics.
  • I’m an INFJ and a Ravenclaw.
  • I hope to study English at a University, it’s one of my greatest passions.
  • I own a bullet journal and often tend to forget to keep updating it. But, I’m trying to make Sundays my spread drawing days.
  • I’m left handed, the only one in my family!
  • I love to read, some of my favourite authors include Sarah J. Maas, Susan Dennard, Rainbow Rowell, J.K Rowling, Marie Lu & Leigh Bardugo.
  • I confess not to having read many classic novels, but I’m trying to change that this year by reading at least 15 classics.
  • I want to become an author or someone who works within the publishing world.
  • Procrastination is my worst enemy, and I suffer from it a lot! :(
  • I watch tv, play video games, listen to music or read books in my spare time. Asian dramas are the best tv, hands down.

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All of these studyblrs are amazing so I highly recommend checking them out (Although you might already have them in your followers list!)

Currently, I use a Muji 0.5mm Ballpoint Pen to write class notes with and I do my titles with a Faber Castell PITT Artist Pen. For added colour, I have the other colours in the Muji 0.5mm set but also a set of 50 Crayola Supertip Pens which are kind of like Mildliners. For Bullet Journaling, I like to use a Leuchtturm1917 notebook, I love the feel of the notebooks. 

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Elijah Mikaelson imagine: Not Important (Part one)

Requested

Part 2

Summary: Reader and Elijah are in love, but reader pushes him away, because she is afraid she is not important to him and he would always choose his family over her

Word count: 1390


Originally posted by onlygodcanjudgeme-sh

I sighed as I walked trough the gate of Mikaelsons’ maison. As much as I had tried to keep away from that place, somehow I had always ended up there. 

“Look who is finally here,” I rolled my eyes at the sight of Klaus standing in front of me with his hands behind his back and a playful smile playing on his lips.

Keep reading

halloween

warnings: cheating, blood, one act of violence, a lot of hurt. non descriptive talk of sex (they are at least 18 in this)

words: 3559

summary: “hey can someone write a halloween fic where reddie is definitely dating and have been for a while but bill dressed up like a cop and eddie can’t resist him, like i want an actual quote to be “bill you know i’m dating richie,” i want a lot of angst and richie needs to cry like twice and punch bill !!!!!”

available on AO3

thanks to @wyattghouleff for not only bringing this prompt to the world but also letting me fill it! i hope you like it <3

Eddie Kaspbrak looked himself over in the mirror, once, twice, before deciding he couldn’t look any more depressing even if he tried. Richie had come up with the idea of a partner costume and Eddie had foolishly agreed. And now, here he stood on Halloween night with no other option than to leave his house in the worst costume ever conceived by mankind, a lock.

Richie was, of course, wearing the other half. The key. He glared at his reflection once again and decided he hated Richie Tozier.

His phone beeped from its spot on his bed. He picked it up, reading Richie’s text which said he was there, and sighed deeply at the mirror one more time before he left.

Eddie was prepared for the snorts and the teasing before he even opened the car door. “Richie, if you say one word you will never have sex again.” Richie merely smirked at him. He had a hard time tearing his eyes off his boyfriend to look at the road though, too caught up in how soft and smooth Eddie’s thighs looked. His soft, pink lips and his big eyes that made him look so innocent yet incredibly sexy at the same time. Hoping Eddie wouldn’t notice his blatant staring, Richie bit the inside of his cheek hard and looked towards the road. Once he was sure Eddie was settled in he pulled back onto the street and took off.

Eddie of course, couldn’t resist talking about how funny Richie looked. “How is anyone supposed to take you serious?” he tried asking in between giggles, the oversized key stitched to the front of Richie’s costume was bent in half so it could fit in the car, and the costume was tight around Richie’s neck, making him look like he was wearing a turtleneck. Richie looked at him with a glare.

“You’re the one wearing the girl part.” he retorted. Eddie merely rolled his eyes and looked ahead, resting the side of his head on the window. Richie couldn’t help but notice the smile on his boyfriend’s face though.

“You’re an idiot.” Eddie said with no heat. Richie was filled with such an overwhelming amount of love for Eddie. On a good day it was hard for him to contain how much he actually adored Eddie, but right now he just wanted to pull over and kiss Eddie breathless.

The speed limit was 25 on the streets they were taking, but Richie was doing almost 40. Eddie kept reminding him to slow down but eventually he gave up, recognizing when a situation was out of his control. They were lucky they weren’t pulled over, he thought. He couldn’t have been more happier to have finally pulled up at Bill’s house. The car was barely stopped and he was opening the door, eager to get out and greet the rest of the Loser’s club. Richie turned the ignition and pulled the key out, chuckling at how eager Eddie looked. “Easy tiger, you that eager for everyone to see our lovely costumes for the evening?”

Eddie was brought back to reality and subsequently his outfit. His mood soured, but quickly bounced back when Richie wrapped a warm arm around his waist and led him along. Moments like that were the rare times he enjoyed being short. When Richie acted all protective and he could just sink into his boyfriend’s side. The costumes made it tough, but they managed.

Beverly snorted beer out of her nose when she seen them, a smile stretching over her entire face. “What the fuck are you guys wearing?” her voice was incredulous as if she couldn’t believe Richie had somehow gotten Eddie to agree to a costume that stupid. Richie looked down at the key jutting out in front of him. It felt like a badly written soap opera. He laughed loudly and nudged her shoulder with his, “yeah, yeah!” he had to shout over the music but it was no problem for him. “Wheres Bill?”

“Ruh-ruh-right here!” a new voice said. Eddie looked and stiffened. There was his childhood best friend, dressing in the tightest police uniform costume he had ever seen in his 18 years of life. As Richie laughed and moved away from him to clap Bill on his back, shouting,

“Nice costume man! Who’re you trying to impress?”

Eddie was having a hard time breathing. He hoped he wasn’t being too obvious, but it didn’t seem like anyone was paying attention to him anyway. Bill was wearing black pants that accentuated just how long his legs actually were, a leather belt keeping them at his waist. Moving up, Eddie noticed that the tight shirt wasn’t a shirt at all but a vest. The sleeves looked like they had been cut off, and Eddie honestly couldn’t tell whether that was on purpose or if it was cut to be that way after Bill had bought it. It looked so good on Bill, tight in all the right places that made him feel hot all over. For the first time he noticed how tan Bill’s arms were and how over the years he had developed somewhat of a muscle on each arm. Handcuffs and badges accented the costume, and Eddie’s mind could conjure up things that could be done with those hand cuffs- he shut the thought down. On Bill’s head was the topper: a police hat that actually looked real compared to the rest of the costume.

Stop this! He shouted at himself. You’re in a relationship with Richie, who is not only right in front of you but also Bill’s friend! Out loud, he teasingly said, “yeah, Bill! Looking for something tonight?” he moved back into Richie’s space to try and get the man to touch him in some way. If Richie would touch him then he wouldn’t think of Bill- and oh, Richie habitually slung his arm loosely around Eddie’s hips, pulling him towards his chest. Eddie noticed Bill watching them, watching Richie’s hand covering his entire hip bone. He shivered and looked away, distracted by his thoughts again. He should not be feeling this way over something so stupid as a costume. It went against every value he carried, not to mention the morally wrongness of it all.

Richie and Bill carried on talking and Eddie barely paid attention. Instead he watched as Beverly and Ben moved to the dance floor. He watched people dancing and singing and drinking, watched as Stan danced with some boy he didn’t recognize, and still he couldn’t get Bill’s dumb outfit out of his head. He distantly heard Bill making fun of their couple costume and Richie trying valiantly to defend the decision. Neither of them noticed that Eddie was there physically but not mentally.

After what felt like a tortuous forever, Bill finally said he’d see them later and disappeared into the crowd. Eddie came back to himself and Richie kissed his forehead softly. Eddie closed his eyes and swallowed the spit building up. He felt terrible, and all he had really done was think about Bill. Richie was good to him, for him even, and yet he was still thinking of another person. Someone who was their friend no less. “Are you okay, Ed’s?” Eddie had given up on trying to get Richie to stop calling him that a while ago.  “You seem a bit distracted is all.”

Eddie tilted his head up and let his gaze slip downward to Richie’s lips. Chapped as always, he noticed, but also red. Richie noticed him looking, he always did, and covered Richie’s mouth with his own in a slow kiss. They pulled apart after a few seconds, but Richie quickly kissed him again, this time more hungrily. Richie had always been a good kisser, definitely better than him. Maybe it was the setting or the mood but Eddie felt that he was even better tonight.

Richie noticed that Eddie’s lips tasted like mint chapstick. Maybe if I kiss him enough, my lips won’t be so chapped anymore, he thought to himself slyly. Eddie trembled with goosebumps when Richie ran his hand down the back of his costume and further south. It was then he realized how uncomfortable it was to be kissing Richie with the key part pressing into him. His face was scarlet when he pulled away, too embarrassed to even speak. “The uh- the key.” was all he could manage before Richie was laughing again.

“Come on, let’s go get drinks.” Richie grabbed his hand and the two of them started towards the kitchen. Yes, drinks, Eddie thought, that should be good.

=

It was later in the night. Eddie drank a little and was hanging off Richie. Richie hadn’t drank anything at all. He was their ride home after all. He couldn’t help but find Eddie so adorable when he was drunk, or close to it anyway. He also couldn’t deny the unstoppable need to pee. “Eddie, “ he tried getting his boyfriend’s attention, but Eddie was too focused on leaving wet kisses on the part of his neck that was exposed and he didn’t respond. “Eddie!” Richie said a little louder, gently pushing him away by his shoulders. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.” he pressed a quick kiss to Eddie’s lips and then he was gone.

    Eddie looked around for anyone he might know but he couldn’t spot anyone at all. Since when did stuttering Bill know this many people? He didn’t even know this many people and he doubted Richie did either. Besides the overwhelming amount of people filling Bill’s house the party was still a great one. He knew Bill had gone all out planning, making everything as perfect as he could with the short time his parents would be gone.

    Suddenly Bill appeared as if Eddie thinking about him conjured him up. He was close enough that Eddie felt his body heat before he heard him. “Buh-buh-boo!” he shouted, trying to scare Eddie. The music had been turned up by somebody between now and when Richie and him arrived. Now he could barely hear anyone unless they were right next to his ear.

    Eddie laughed boisterously. “Nice try!” he yelled back, realizing how close Bill actually was to him. Eddie leaned in closer and poked Bill in the chest with his pointer finger. “You’re not very good at scaring me, Denbrough.”

    “Yeah?” he was silent for a moment, just looking over Eddie’s flushed face. How he somehow looked both cute and dumb in the costume and delectable at the same time. With his shaved legs that Bill couldn’t help but notice. He thought of Richie and wondered if Eddie was thinking the same. Without thinking of the consequences he leaned down so his mouth was touching Eddie’s ear and said, “can I show you something upstairs?” butterflies erupted in his stomach when after a few tense moments Eddie nodded his head.

=

    Richie couldn’t find Eddie anywhere and he was beginning to panic. He even began stopping random people and asking them, “have you seen a boy about, eh maybe this height? He’s wearing the other half of this costume.” and most of the time he either received blank stares or a quick no. Imagining the worst situation possible came easy to Richie, it was his number one talent next to being an asshole who couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Someone trying to abduct Eddie from the house, maybe a band of assholes made him feel shitty for being gay and he was hiding in the bathroom, or worse still: Pennywise. A cold dread filled him but he fought to push it down. Eddie was fine, Pennywise was dead. Richie desperately wanted to find him so they could leave. It was getting late.

    He spotted Stan in the kitchen. “Dude!” he shouted, “have you seen Eddie?” Stan looked like he was making some sort of elaborate drink. Or trying to anyway.

“Eddie? Yeah, he went with Bill earlier.” Richie breathed a sigh of relief. He was with Bill, that was fine. At least he’s safe. Still, a thought lingered. Why was Eddie with Bill? The two of them were great friends, sure, but they were at a halloween party and Eddie had come with him. Jealously curled in his gut and Richie told himself that he was being stupid.

“Thank you.” Richie said, leaning down and looking closer at the drink. “What are you making? This looks like Eddie’s mom’s piss.”

=

    Turns out what Bill had wanted to show Eddie was a drawing the older boy had made. The drawing depicted all seven of them, arms linked around one another as everyone smiled with glee. It was good, and Eddie told him so. The room was dim so Eddie couldn’t really make out the small details but he could tell that the lines were neat and that the color and shading pulled it all together. The result was a beautifully semi realistic drawing where even in the only light coming from the moon Eddie could tell it was perfect. Or maybe he was just drunk and focusing too much on what it looked like rather than how he was alone with Bill. Eddie distantly reminded himself that he wasn’t drunk, not really. He had two beers and wasn’t even close to being smashed.

    Bill thanked him and he realized how close they were again. Bill and him locked eyes and he suddenly felt self conscious but he couldn’t look away. Bill’s hands came up to rest on Eddie’s hips, pulling him even closer. It was like they were magnets who couldn’t stay away for two long. Eddie could feel the tension in the air, goosebumps rose along his arms. Eddie knew he wasn’t the first to admire Bill’s costume, or his golden tan legs and developing abs from all the working out he’d been doing lately. Eddie knew this and still, he couldn’t help but feel that Bill was looking at him like he was the only person in the world. And maybe he was.

    What was he doing? Richie was probably downstairs waiting for him. Bill was his best friend. No way should this be happening. He tried desperately to convince himself but Bill was still looking at him intensely and he was staring back and suddenly, the world stopped. His heart rate quickened.

    Bill Denbrough was kissing him. On the lips. And he responded immediately, kissing him back with just as much fervor. Bill’s mouth was warm, his lips were soft which was an obvious difference to Richie’s..oh god, Richie. Eddie pulled back just as quick as he came, lips parted and swollen already. Bill’s face had no visible reaction.

    “We can’t do this- we shouldn’t do this. Bill; you know I’m dating Richie.” Eddie said it quietly and in such a way that Bill felt like he was trying to convince himself. Bill wasn’t one to force anything, even if he was disappointed. He loosened his grip on Eddie’s hips but still kept his hands there while Eddie’s gaze flicked up and down his face.

    Eddie’s lips were on his again but this time the kiss wasn’t uncertain, it was hungry. Bill was surprised at the sudden change but he wasn’t complaining either. He felt Eddie’s smaller, softer hands cupping his cheek bones and holding him. He tasted around tentatively with his tongue and Eddie opened his mouth with a low whimper. For a second, Bill believed he was in pain. He realized a moment later that Eddie was enjoying it, quite a lot.

    Bill couldn’t resist this. He couldn’t resist Eddie just as much as he knew Eddie couldn’t resist him. The sounds the shorter boy was making, how flushed his face was and how swollen his lips already were. Richie was his best friend but this felt good.

Eddie was left breathless after Bill pulled away. Eddie couldn’t think, he didn’t want to even think about thinking, so he pulled Bill back to him and shut his mind off.

Bill guided Eddie to his bed, on the way taking his cop hat off and placing it delicately on the boys head. Eddie settled in Bill’s lap, capturing his lips in another heated kiss.  Eddie could feel that Bill was hard. He was too, but Bill seemed big. Hesitantly and shyly Eddie moved his hips back and forth. At Bill’s resounding groan and the way his fingers tightened on Eddie’s hips, he knew they were both enjoying it. They stayed like that for a while.

Richie found them because he heard Eddie. He knew the tone of the boy’s voice, when he was close to coming. The door was cracked. Unadulterated rage filled him and watching Eddie grind down in Bill’s lap broke his heart into millions of tiny pieces. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Richie slammed the door all the way open with his fist, causing Eddie to jump off Bill’s lap like a firecracker. Eddie’s face was filled with evident shock, mouth parted and eyes wide with fear. Richie glanced between Eddie and Bill, mind racing a mile a minute trying to comprehend what he just saw. Sure it hurt, but right now he was angry. Later he could cry.

“What the fuck?” his voice was loud and cutthroat. He ran his sweaty palm through his curly, tangle hair, and tugged on it roughly. Eddie said nothing, which made him even angrier. “I’ve been looking for you, Eddie. For almost an hour now I’ve been looking for you, and all I had to do was follow the sound of- of Bill fucking you!” he yelled, scoffing in disbelief.

Eddie had the audacity to look sheepish. Richie would show him what being sheepish meant, and in his anger he rushed forward to grab him. Bill stood up quickly and stood half way in front of Eddie, blocking Richie’s path. “Ruh-ruh-richie, t-this is mu-mu-”

Richie stopped short. “Yah-yah-your fault?” Richie snapped, cutting off Bill’s stuttering by mocking him. Eddie’s mouth dropped open. “Fuck you, Bill. Move.” Eddie had never seen Richie look so angry before. It scared him, especially because he was the cause. Richie tried to grab Eddie again but Bill blocked him. Richie stopped, feeling like time slowed, and looked between Bill’s hand and his face. He wasn’t thinking when he blindly threw his closed fist out, striking Bill in the face hard. The bigger boy stumbled back but caught himself, holding his now bleeding nose.

“Richie, what the hell!” Eddie shouted, throwing his arms out to block Richie from going after Bill again, who was now behind him. Richie turned his hard gaze on Eddie and pushed his tinier hand away easily. Eddie was sporting hickies on his neck, which did nothing to fan the flame of anger and betrayal in Richie’s heart. His hair was tousled and messed up, and not to mention how fucked he looked. Something broke inside Richie and he began to cry. Ugly crying with snot and all. He screamed and slammed his fists on Bill’s bedside table, cracking the fragile skin on his knuckles.

Eddie looked like he wanted to touch him and simultaneously run away.

“I must be dreaming, right? Eddie Kaspbrak would never do something like this to me. Bill Denbrough would never dream of doing something like this.” his voice cracked, he didn’t mind. He wiped his cheeks and eyes on the back of his hand and smeared the blood that had traveled from his split knuckles. Eddie looked like he was close to tears as well and Bill just looked like he was in pain.

“Richie–” Eddie started, but Richie cut him off before he could finish.

“Don’t talk Eddie! There is nothing you can say to me right now. This is…this is unforgivable.” he wanted to leave and go home so he could cry again but in peace. Bill looked like he wanted to talk again but Richie was done. He turned and walked out. Eddie moved to chase him but Bill held him back.

“Eddie, du-dont! He wuh- wuh-wanted to hurt you!” Eddie didn’t care, he deserved it. Shrugging Bill’s hands off him, he left the room cold. Bill collapsed on the bed and put his head in his hands.

“Richie! Richie please!” Eddie had to scream in order to be heard. He had caught Richie right before he climbed into his beat up car. He was crying now as well and he was sure he looked like an absolute mess if the stares he received had anything to say about it.

Richie stopped but didn’t look at him. His jaw was clenched tightly and it was tense. “I’m so sorry, Richie-” he hiccuped loudly. Eddie dropped the cop hat he had been holding to cover his face with his hands. “Please let me just- just explain or apologize.” Eddie felt lost, unsure of what to say. Everything hurt, he knew that much. And it was all his fault.

Richie glanced at him one more time. Saying nothing, he climbed into the driver’s seat and practically whipped his car out of the driveway.

Eddie watched him drive down the street. Watched the love of his life leave him outside Bill Denbrough’s house in the stupidest costume ever conceived by mankind, except now he was truly alone.

Please Help Spread This

Hey, can y'all help me get something out there? My sister writes fan fiction for The 100 and recently discovered that someone had been stealing her work off of AO3 and posting it word-for-word onto fanfiction.net after changing the characters to make it percabeth, under the username bluefood02. I’m hoping we can maybe get some of the fandom at least to be aware that all of these fics are stolen (they have 5, and 4 are from her, one from her friend) and not read them. Also please nobody send them hate! That’s not what this is about, I just want my sister to get the credit she deserves and for the person responsible to learn that this is unacceptable behavior. Thank you!

Something all artists and creators should hear.

This is for @blueberryunderswapsans and others that feel like their art or content isn’t good enough.

Firsty, don’t ever delete your blog because you don’t think your art or content is good enough or because someone can do it better right now. It’s not even fair to compare your art to anyone else’s and you shouldn’t because everyone starts and develops at different rates and each person has put a different kind of time into their art.

The thing is whatever you create is enough because you’ve put the effort to make it in the first place and that’s amazing. And the great thing about not having a style is you have so much to explore ahead of you! You can do literally anything because once you have a style it’s hard to get out of it, even so if you don’t like your own style you can teach yourself and your style will change and grow as you do.

I really want everyone to get out of this self hate mindset. You should be proud of what you make because it’s exactly that. Doesn’t matter if it’s art, writing, drawing, designing, videos; they are all things that get seriously underappreciated nowadays and because it’s something that anyone can do those that are good at it are just shrugged off as either lucky.

Well would you like to know who and what is actually being lucky. Me. I am so lucky and grateful to have the friends that I have, whether I’ve met them in schools, college, university or the internet. Friends that have always supported my creativity no matter my skill at the time or fandoms I was into. That’s what being lucky is.

To get better at what you want to do you need to keep doing it and have the determination to keep trying and believe in yourself. And if you can’t do that right now then surround yourself with people that do believe in you and that can show you how amazing the things you create are. 

You need to look at the pictures of the people that inspire you, look at reference pictures for every drawing you do they help! I used to think i didn’t need references or even the sketch circles but since actually trying those techniques I will pretty much always do it. If you want tips then find them. If you like a way a certain artist does something ask them how, look in their FAQ’s because they might have already done a tutorial for people. 

If you are doing things on the computer. Use something you’ve previously drawn as a sketch layer. Think of what *you* would like to improve and look up a tone of references and do it. 

I hope that I’ve helped people with this. I also want you to know that you have at least someone that cares about you and wants you to grow and if you think you don’t, either you don’t see them or you haven’t met them yet so be patient and they’ll come to you or you to them. :D <3