i honestly have no idea what i think

anonymous asked:

Lindsey do you have advice for 1st time fic writers? I have ideas but I don't know where to beginning and it's honestly a bit scary

Gah I’m so sorry you had to wait, but I wanted to make sure I could give you a proper reply! 

I totally understand it being scary! It really can be intimidating jumping into writing. But here a couple things that might help you along: 

1. Write. 
Literally, just write. No matter what you think of your own writing, no matter how you think it compares to other people’s writing, no matter if you struggle or if it comes easy: write. You’re gunna write some stuff that’s great, you’re gunna write some stuff thats not that great. We literally all have written a huge mixture of great and shitty stuff. And it’s okay. But always keep writing. If it’s bad, it’s bad, so what? Write more and make it better. Remember that no matter what you write, even if you think it’s bad, someone out there is going to love it. So write the thing

2. Know the characters you want to write.
This is a biggie in fanfic - you gotta have at least a decent grasp on the characters’ basic traits before you write them. Because if you don’t, it’s going to stick out like a sore thumb. So look back at the source material, take note of the characters - how they act, how they speak, what they say, who they’re close with, etc… - and roll with it. 

3. Have a plot already in mind.
Start out with the idea you want to write. The more you can plan out to start with, the better. (Note: This doesn’t always work for everyone. Some people are more chaotic writers, who like to plan as they go. Which is totally fine. I tend to be a mixture of a pre-planner and a plan-as-you-go writer tbh. But I think when you’re first starting out, it’s helpful to give yourself an outline, a step-by-step of your plot and how you want it to progress.) 

4. Start small and attainable
Frankly, when you’re starting out, it’s best to write about stuff you know or are at least somewhat familiar with. And it’s best to start off kind of small. I personally wouldn’t jump into a massive multichapter fic about astrophysics on your first attempt. You’re welcome to try, if that’s what you have in mind, but smaller goals like oneshots and ficlets are easier to attain. Write about things you like, things you find interesting, things you understand. Then as you get more adept with your characters, you can branch out to bigger and more diverse projects. 

5. Stay focused
A big issue I see in a lot of new writers, especially new fanfic writers, is the wandering mind. You really don’t want to include anything that isn’t actually important or relevant to your characters or the plot. A bunch of superfluous content will really only make your readers lose interest. If your plot or overall themes would be literally unchanged if you took out a section of the fic, then take the section out, because all it’s going to do is detract from the piece as a whole. This is also important for continuity. There’s an issue I like to call the Disappearing Horse, where a writer will bring up something (like a horse), only to forget about it very quickly and never mention it again because it ultimately didn’t serve a narrative purpose. If you don’t need the horse, don’t bring it out of the stable. If it doesn’t matter to the plot or the themes of the piece, then don’t bring it up. 

6. Formatting/Spelling/Grammar
Please please, this isn’t about being a stickler, this is about ease of reading the fic: please make sure that your fic is properly formatted. Make sure your dialogue is properly spaced, make sure your grammar is correct, that things are spell checked. 

7. GET A BETA READER
Seriously. Literally everyone needs a beta, no matter how skilled they are. Have someone read your work, and they can look for grammar/spelling errors, formatting errors, continuity errors, awkward or weird phrasing, etc… 

8. Practice your dialogue aloud
I do this all the time. Speak your dialogue aloud, act like you’re having the conversation with yourself. It’s the easiest way to find out if your dialogue is natural or realistic. Nobody wants stilted dialogue, and this is a quick and easy way to avoid it. 

9. Show, don’t tell. Avoid adverbs where you can. 
Adverbs are very alluring to writers - they’re a quick, easy way that we can describe something that’s happening. But they’re also pretty lazy and tend to hinder your writing’s flow. You are better off showing your readers rather than telling them. An adverbs tells the reader what’s happening, whereas active and descriptive verbs show a reader what’s happening 
         Example: 
Don’t: “She walked slowly along the beach, happily enjoying the sea air.”
Do: “She moseyed along the water’s edge, taking her time to enjoy the sea air.”

You see how the second sentence is much more vivid? It shows the audience much more about the scene rather than just flatly telling us “she’s walking slow and she’s happy”. 

Note: I highly recommend you check out the Hemingway text editor. It’s a very useful tool that can pinpoint issues with your writing such as overuse of adverbs, long/run on sentences, difficult phrasing, etc… 

10. Literally everything is derivative, so don’t worry too much about your ideas not being “original enough”
Look, this is fanfic. The concept itself is derivative. Fanon is also a big influence on fanfic. So some of your stuff is obviously going to take some tropes or ideas from other things. And that’s okay. Build on those tropes and make them your own. (Note: obviously don’t copy people. this is more about when you feel like an idea of yours has already been done. It’s okay if someone else has done that AU you were thinking of - their AU is going to be different from your AU, your AU is going to be yours. so go for it!) 

11. WRITE WRITE WRITE WRITE WRITE 
I know I said this already but write. And post what you write. You’re going to love writing sometimes. You’re going to hate writing sometimes. You’re going to go through spells where you feel wholly uncreative. You’re going to have times when you literally feel like a fountain of ideas. Creativity comes in seasons. Write as they come and as they change. No matter what, you’re going to get better, and no matter what, even if you think it’s bad or that no one wants to read it, you’re going to write something that someone out there is going to love. SO WRITE!! :D 

Ahhh that’s all I can think of off the top of my head! I may think of others later and add to this post. But if anyone else has any other tips, please feel free to tack them on. 

anonymous asked:

Can I please have a sprite edit where Judy, Roni, and the cherub from ectostuck are holding hands? (I think I was Judy, and in my canon the cherub's name was Calamity) A stimboard for Judy that incorporates them 2 in it would also be lovely :B thank you!!!

i just want you to know that i had no idea what to call the cherub before but honestly calamity fits so perfectly that’s their name now! i’ll also get to work on the stimboard now~

catcomixzstudios  asked:

You have been given an adequately sized crew of skilled people to help you work on your own Sonic game/movie/comic/etc. You have as much creative freedom as they can reasonably give you. What medium do you go with and is there anything you can tell us about it? Any plot ideas or even just minor tidbits you'd like to share?

Honestly the concepts I have are both really ambitious and really tenuous. I think I’d probably go with something like a webcomic that can be produced over time.

Webcomics are nice because the Sonic series was really conceived, well, in terms of the games which translate into singular large “arcs”, so I think if I’d want to translate the AU, which is similarly conceptualized, I’d want to go with something episodic like a show or comic (animated series in my wildest dreams, ha ha) because it both accommodates multiple potential arcs, but also has greater room for continuity than something with more large, defined installments like a series of movies or games.

As far as actual stuff I have about my personal Sonic alternate universe, I actually have a whole sideblog dedicated to that with art and meta posts.

newyearsirresolution  asked:

I just finished rereading Alt-Ed and it was as lovely as I remembered. I couldn't help noticing how much you've grown as an author, your style, your quirks and everything that makes me reconnect what I read to what I know about you as a writer, it was already there obviously, but you're perfecting it and building a really strong writing identity. Also, I love how you started showing your true colours in the chapter notes, you appeared to be much more serious back then ;)

Holy crap, thank you so much! This is honestly one of the sweetest and most thoughtful messages ever, and I’ve been smiling all day just thinking about it!

Alt Ed was so much fun to write. It was my first chaptered fic and I had no freaking idea what I was doing. I loved (over)thinking about how Remus’ absence from Hogwarts would have changed all of their personalities and relationships.

I’m giggling a bit that I was able to pass myself off as “serious” at any point, but I’m glad you’re enjoying my increased lack of chill. ;)

Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading my ramblings and supporting my shitposting <3 <3 <3

To anyone who ever said Dream Daddy was pandering to yaoi fangirls: you have no idea how wrong your statement is. This game is so charming and genuine and as someone who’s apart of the LGBT community, a game like this means the world to me. The development team put their heart and soul into this game and they worked their hardest to make it into what it is now. You should be ashamed for even thinking that this game wasn’t genuine. I applaud the Dream Daddy devs for giving us this game, and honestly I hope it inspires more games like it.

3

i’ve been thinking about shou and mob a lot lately and naturally i had to make an au to satisfy my needs

AU where shou is an important person with an office with a view and shigeo is his receptionist. but really it’s just them stumbling over how it is to be in a relationship like new born fawns

a big thank you to @coffeelions for getting excited with me about this!! i really needed an outlet in those trying times hahaha so thank youuuu!!

Meaningful Sentence Starters

“There’s something I really need to tell you.”
“I honestly thought that things would be very different.”
“Do you wish you could have done it differently?”
“What exactly did you think was happening here?”
“How do you decide when it’s enough?”
“I would die for this cause.”
“There are only a few things in this world that are truly important to me.”
“Ideals have to count for something.”
“Why should I be a nice person?”
“This was meant to be easier.”
“I have an idea that I need to share.”
“Look, you might not like me but we’re stuck in this.”
“You remind me of someone I once knew.”
“How long does it take people to change, I wonder?”
“There are no good choices here.”
“There are days I think we’re just in over our heads here.”
“How do you keep going when things get hard?”
“Are you genuinely interested in me as a person, or is this a game too?”
“I care what I look like because I care what people think of me.”
“Why did you decide to do it?”
“You know what I really regret?”
“I’m still struggling to believe any of this is real.”
“Are you certain this is what you really want.”
“Tell me a dream? Or a secret?”
“Do you think you would still be the same person if things had turned out differently?”
“What I really meant to say was very different.”
“I don’t know if you’ll like what I have to say to you, but I have to tell you anyway.”
“You were never supposed to know.”
“Why can’t you just follow instructions?”
“Why can’t you just ignore instructions?”
“What chains you to this life? What keeps you here?”

I want to tell a quick story about how important representation in television is, and how Sense8 is really making a tangible difference. You can repost if you like, I thought your followers might enjoy it.

My dad is a wealthy, white, conservative male who voted for Trump. He’s not a hateful person…in fact he’s one of the kindest people you’ll meet and he can talk to a random stranger for hours. But he’s extremely fiscally conservative and tends to have a narrow world view. 

He and I argue a lot. He calls me a naive liberal who has no idea how the real world works. I call him a decrepit old man who wouldn’t know innovation if it kicked him in the teeth. It’s our way of keeping each other on our toes. 

But we love to watch TV together. Game of Thrones, House of Cards, and Vikings are a few of our favorites. I always held off on showing him Sense8…I honestly didn’t think he’d like it. But one day he asked me “What should we watch next?” and I though…why not?

He absolutely loved it. Yeah he thought the sex scenes were a little gratuitous, but he couldn’t stop watching. He even started talking about it to all his brothers and friends during our BBQ. I was so pumped he enjoyed it. 

But it was one scene in particular that really changed things for him: Nomi’s speech during her sister’s rehearsal dinner in episode 2x8. 

You see, my dad thought Nomi’s relationship with her Mom was unrealistic. He said “Parents love their kids unconditionally. No real mother would ever say those types of things. I mean…she’s not abusive. She’s not a drug addict or an alcoholic. And clearly no money problems at home. A real mom wouldn’t hate their kids just because.”

I was floored and didn’t know what to say at first. He had called me sheltered and naive so many times…and then he says something like that. I realize that it’s because he loves me so much (and would still love me so much even if I were trans) that he found a character like Nomi’s mom not just unrelatable, but completely unrealistic. 

But eventually I say this. 

“Dad…about half of homeless youth are LGBT. Believe it or not, this is one of the most realistic parts of the show.”

To which he replies: “Oh. Really? I…didn’t know that.”

And then a few minutes later Nomi’s says her speech and I look over and my dad is tearing up, just a little. 

“You doing alright over there?”

“Yeah…yeah I just….I’m fine. But I think I get it a little more now.”

So that’s my story. Even old white guy who voted for Trump is heartbroken about Sense8’s cancellation. That says a lot about how big a mistake Netflix is making. 


Submitted by @fourforyouglencoco

So I sent Andy Muschietti an instagram message asking for an IT netflix spin-off and he actually answered me

Ok so yesterday my friend and I were rambling on how bad we wanted an IT spin off, like a Losers Club series, because we need to see more of the characters played by this actors who we all love so much.

And eventually the conversation ended up with me signing a change.org petition for the spin-off, and sending a letter to netflix and to Andy. Little did i know i would wake up the next day with an answer from the movie’s director.

The message talked about how happy the spin-off would make us the fans and honestly what a great inversion it would be. I think he may have sympathized with me because i’m argentinian??? (Fun fact: he’s argentinian) and that’s why he answered???? But the point is he said this:

Translation: “Ha, thanks. I proposed the Losers Club spin-off idea to everyone like a year ago. So who knows, maybe…”

I’m happy and shook as hell, and he got my hopes up, so i hope i’m getting up yours. I mean Andy Muschietti is on our side.

Let’s keep fighting for the spin-off we deserve.

(Here you have the petition link in case you wanna sign https://www.change.org/p/netflix-we-need-a-spin-off-from-it-movie-2017?utm_medium=email&utm_source=petition_signer_receipt&utm_campaign=triggered&share_context=signature_receipt&recruiter=815520964&j=159772&sfmc_sub=563554370&l=32_HTML&u=29997343&mid=7233052&jb=168929)

abrokenseed  asked:

Buttons was in my dream last night. For some reason we were in a classroom setting and he asked about something, but the person in charge said he couldn't do it there so he slunked away with a really weird walk? What even was that, brain?

you abandoned him in a time he needed you the most

Thank you, ladies.

I’m mad that that 10th anniversary comeback -that trainwreck- is how we leave things. SNSD deserved better than that. As OT8, they deserved more. I don’t think things would’ve turned out differently if they got the legendary comeback they deserved -because obviously these members made up their minds long ago- BUT it’s just really fucked up that that’s their last hoorah. They should’ve gone out with a bang and by “they” I mean Seohyun, Sooyoung and Tiffany. But considering SNSD will most likely disband altogether soon or will surely lose half its remaining fanbase, I suppose I mean the group as well. And there won’t be another comeback or chance to rectify that situation now.

I’ve been suspecting Tiffany and Sooyoung were the members who hadn’t resigned. I’m taken aback by Seohyun, though. However, I completely get it, SM was holding her back. Seohyun has so much ambition, I didn’t think she’d remain tied down to SM or SNSD for much longer, tbh. 

Tiffany, that’s a loyal bitch, so jot that down. She dedicated her life to this group, hardcore. SM fucked that up. She was so ride or die for this group. I’m actually so happy for her or, I will be once I’m over this heartbreak. They’ve never done right by her and after last year, honestly, fuck them. Tiffany leaving SM is one of the bravest things I’ve seen anyone do in a while.

Sooyoung, I have no idea what happened there. Perhaps she wants to be free to marry. That’s not reductive or sexist to say because she literally wouldn’t be able to marry as long as she was an idol. And this contract of course would’ve been for years, how long should she wait? Leaving SM isn’t ending her career but it is breaking one of the chains of idol life. If she wants to make acting her focus and move forward in her relationship, good for her. Actually, doesn’t matter her reasons for leaving, that’s her business and good for her.

I’m proud of Jessica, Tiffany, Seohyun, and Sooyoung for putting themselves first. It’s not selfish to realize you’re not getting what you need out of what is essentially a business arrangement, especially when the arrangement is with a toxic company like SM (think about how they literally sabotaged the 10-anniversary comeback just to spite the girls who are leaving). And it’s not selfish if you realize it’s simply time for the next chapter in your life.

I said before that I will always be thankful to the girls no matter what happened with the contracts. They’ve given up 11 years of their lives. They gave us 11 years of their lives and the entirety of their 20s pretty much. That’s more than most girl groups have had to sacrifice, the burden of being one of the last ggs standing, I suppose.

SNSD might but done, certainly the SNSD we have come to love is done. But they’re legends, that can’t be taken away. 

Polydads

Also on ao3

Based on a post that @catsforartists made!

—–

When Amanda woke up, she decided to crawl out of bed to get a bowl of cereal. And eat it on the couch, of course.

“Ain’t nothing beat couch cereal.” She declared to the empty room and dug into her delicious and dangerously sugary cereal.

Almost immediately after taking a bite out of her cereal, she heard footsteps coming from her dad’s room, but, when she glanced up, she saw Damien walking by her.

“Good morning, Amanda dear.” Damien greeted.

“Mornin.” Amanda responded. She KNEW it. Her dad and Damien had been getting pretty close, so it wasn’t a completely wild assumption that they would start dating. And, of course, the footsteps she heard must be…

Keep reading

I think that there’s misunderstanding of what “homophobia” is in this whole discourse...

Both Jeremy and Melissa have been outspoken about their support for LGBT rights and LGBT people and for the most part, what they’ve done is good and they understand the general idea of what LGBT people go through in their life… focus on “general idea”.

So, no! They aren’t homophobes in the “grab your pitchforks” kinda way. To non-LGBT people they are the best allies ever and for the most part they come across as really good allies to our community.

The thing is, homophobia runs deeper than that!

Believing and supporting gay marriage and gay people does not stop you from having homophobic actions.

What happened yesterday was a clear act of straight ignorance. That’s what I call it, “straight ignorance”. I’m not going to call them “raging homophobes” because I honestly don’t think they are. What I do think is that their understanding of the LGBT community, although better than most straight people I know, it’s still lacking. They are ignorant and that ignorance shown through in that little jamming session they had. 

What they did was homophobic and incredibly disrespectful to fans but the reason it’s being hard for them to understand WHY that was homophobic is because their understanding of homophobia stops at the point where no one was screaming slurs and being blatantly obvious with their homophobia.

They don’t understand that homophobia can shine through heteronormative thoughts which was what that was. If it had been a relationship between a man and a woman that was not canon, the response would be “you never know”.

So, to wrap up what I think… I don’t think Melissa and Jeremy are homophobes, specially not “raging homophobes” as I’ve seen some people call them. I do think they are ignorant straight people who had an homophobic reaction.

The most concerning thing about this whole ordeal is not what happened in that interview but what happened after that interview… Jeremy could have taken that opportunity to learn what was wrong. Instead he decided that he is the one who knows what homophobia is when he had hundreds if not thousands of people telling him what was wrong with what happened. He took a hit to his “Ally pride” and decided that the best course of action was to defend himself instead of understanding what happened and what he should do going forward. 

I’m afraid the only thing he learned from that was to keep his thoughts to himself instead of learning why what he said was wrong.

4

Inktober day 30 feat. Pete Wentz’s Halloween monster from his conceptual movie: Children of the (candy) Corn
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So! Y'all already know how much I love Fall Out Boy. Last night Pete tweeted about this idea of a monster with candy corn for teeth right as I was trying to think of what to do for today’s inktober, so of course I decided to draw that right then and there. I don’t think I’ve ever sketched, inked, scanned, and colored something so fast. I put it on twitter and about half an hour later, he responded! I’ve been feeling kinda crappy about my art lately after getting rejected from the art fair and spitball, so having one of my favorite people appreciate my art honestly helped so much. ♡

It’s mildly weird for me when people I don’t know send me messages like “but what does your husband think about what you do?”

Or to paraphrase more accurately the last five judgey messages I just scrolled past in my inbox, “Oh, you’re married…what does your husband think of what you do? I don’t imagine he’d be okay with it.”

Like, listen, if you think my husband, the person I opted to spend the rest of my life with till death us do part and even then only maybe if I do the ritual right, isn’t aware of who and what I am and the things that I do for fun and profit…then I’m sorry your marriage sucks. But don’t you take that out on me.

And it’s not like I’m imagining it either because the moment I say he’s fine with it, the tone goes from wary judgement to outright sneering contempt about how we clearly don’t take the sanctity of marriage seriously if i can “get away” with what I do and it’s like, I’m not the one lying to my partner/living in fear of his judgement??? Like ????? How am I the one in the unhealthy relationship here? And do you need help getting out, cause honestly I’m here if you need it.

Like I know a lot of romance readers started following me a while back and some of them have specific Tastes for their fiction but honestly miss me with that heteronormative bullshit and your toxic ideas about love and what constitutes a marriage. And excuse you for having the audacity to even think you’re in a place to comment on my relationship.

And for the record, ETD is not just fine with my work. He’s god dam proud of me. And I’m proud of me too.

So kindly, and with all due respect, get fucked.

😍😢They grow up so fast. They’re already trained to jump out in qeue🐤🐥

A Birthday gift for the good @nerogengar
Have a happy B. Day, my dude!

Saitama & Genos © ONE and Yusuke Murata
Art © Anjelzjelly129

anonymous asked:

Okay...weird shit happejed to you throuout yojr life, but has anything happened on Halloween specifically (other than you selling your soul to a demon)

Alright, it’s time for the requested and promised Ouija Board Story™

Listen, before I start this I wanna put a REALLY STRONG trigger warning on it- I really, truly recommend you not read this if you’ve been affected by suicide or get very easily freaked out by thoughts of death and the afterlife. I am not fucking kidding around here, okay? Someone in my family killed themselves over the summer and I’ve been trying so hard to not think about this whole event, because it’s terrifying to imagine anyone I know in this situation. Really think about it before you keep reading, okay? While this is an interesting and cool story I’m posting for Halloween, I don’t wanna get anyone too freaked out. If you think this is gonna mess with you or sit with you, just keep scrolling. 

This happened in 2015. My friend Zoe (@commando-rogers) decided to have some friends over for Halloween, because like, who doesn’t want plans on Halloween, right? Also there was Alexa (@starshiprangpr), Patricia (@trishaslats), Liz, and Ian (I don’t know if they have accounts if they do I’ll add them later). I’ve known these guys for years, so it was sure to be a fun night. 

Now, like. I’m bored with life. I’m freshly 20 years old. It’s Halloween. I’m dressed like Mabel Pines. I’m ready to fucking party. And we did have, you know, regular, normal fun at first- ate junk food, joked around, stuff like that. Average hangout. But then, a few hours into the night…Zoe pulls out a fucking Ouija Board. 

I’m immediately on the other side of the room, tbh. I’m very interested in paranormal stuff, and I was raised Catholic, and I’m also not a dumbass, so I know not to fuck around with Ouija Boards. You just don’t use them, ever! It’s never a good idea! Even if nothing talks to you through it, you’re still opening yourself up for something to happen. But I also knew this was five against one, so I didn’t stand much of a chance complaining. I conceded to watching whatever happens from a safe distance on the couch and not actually touching the board. Lord knows, I insisted, with my luck? Touching the board will get my ass possessed. 

The girls seemed to somewhat agree with me on that- Ian was the only person who agreed to use the board with Zoe. Ian’s a very smart, logical guy, you know, like the token genius asshole friend that you love to death even if he gets a little condescending occasionally? Love the guy. But he was pretty sure it was all bs and nothing would happen, versus Zoe’s deep belief in the paranormal, so they made a bit of a weird pair working the board. I remember texting my friend Raychel about what was about to happen, and getting the response “YOU MOTHER FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE FIT ALL THE HORROR MOVIE ARCHTYPES GET YOUR BULLSHIT TOGETHER AND DONT DO THIS”. And I agreed with her, honestly, but I did actually have a strong curiosity to see if anything would happen. Zoe had told me all about her trying to use the board by herself before (bad!!! idea!!!)- she said she never got any words out of the board, but her camera or phone or whatever she was trying to film the session with would always malfunction or die unexpectedly. No one expected what happened though. 

Now, before I really start, I wanna say- could this have all been an elaborate hoax by Ian or Zoe? Sure. Absolutely. Believe that if you want- but Zoe was so freaked out and even got all shook when we were going over details the other day, and Ian seemed really rocked, and honestly I can’t think of anything they’d get out of keeping up a ruse on it for two years now, especially when people they’re good friends with were literally crying during this mess, so…I really don’t think this was fake. Like, I want to believe it was fake. As I mentioned in the trigger warning, this has really stuck with me and been bugging me as of late, so if one of them suddenly fessed up that it was a prank? I would fucking jump for joy! But it doesn’t look like that’s the case (otherwise, they’re just, you know, dicks by this point). So, anyway, whether you believe it or not, just know that I am absolutely not lying about anything that happened in this story. I’m recounting everything truthfully. 

Okay, so…Ouija Boards have rules, you know? You have to be polite, say hello and goodbye even if nothing speaks to you, you have to keep at least two fingers on the planchette and ‘charge’ the piece, I’m not going over all the guidelines right now. And also, when a living person is manipulating the planchette…Like, you can tell. You can feel it. Zoe and Ian charged the piece, we all said hello, and we waited in silence. 

Zoe asked ‘Is there anybody here?’

Nothing happened for a long moment, but then…the planchette slowly started sliding towards ‘YES’. 

Ian was trying to look like his eyes weren’t wide, and going ‘Zoe! Zoe are you moving it!’ but Zoe was already having a mild freak out, her voice higher then normal and repeating ‘Holy shit holy shit holy shit!’ (like I said…she’s a deep believer in the paranormal). 

When it finally landed on yes, she took a deep breath and tried to seem a bit, I guess, politer. “Um, okay, hi, I’m Zoe? This is Ian and our other friends. What’s your name?”

…K…E…V…I…N.

Patricia made some joke about the name but got shushed. 

“Are you…usually in my house?”

‘NO’.

“Are you…here for someone?”

‘YES’.

We’ve only been at this for a few minutes and there was already that feeling in the air- you know, the one that gets over described every time anyone recounts a paranormal experience? Just a heavy feeling in the air, a twisted feeling in your gut, the feeling that someone is right behind you. Tension was building even though nothing had really happened to warrant it yet. 

“Who are you here for, Kevin?”

The planchette starts to slide towards the ‘I’. Cue to five girls yelling “IAN” in high pitched, worried (and some teasing) voices as the boy in question’s eyes are flying out of his head. 

It spells out the rest of his name. Zoe asks, “Is there anything you want to say to Ian?”

…H…E…L…L…O.

Me, an asshole who needed to cut some tension before she got sick: “Hello from the other side~~~~~~”.

Pillows were thrown at me.

The board respelled ‘Hello’. 

I will literally never forget the awkward forced smile on Ian’s face, or the raised eyebrows, or the way his confused voice cracked when he said, “…Hi, Kevin?” 

…H…I.

“How do you know Ian?”

…F…R…I…E…N…D…S.

Ian looked at is, giving an insistent whisper of “I don’t know any dead Kevins!”

That had us all stumped for a few moments, before “Do you think maybe like, past lives?”

Zoe asked Kevin if that was right. The planchette flew to the ‘YES’. 

“So Ian was your friend in his past life then? Who was he?”

…E…V…A…N.

“Evan! So how did Evan die?”

…C…A…R.

“Oh. Were you, like…with him?”

‘NO’.

“How did you die then?”

Nothing happened for a few minutes, the piece didn’t move an inch. They recharged it and Zoe tried again. “Was that a rude question? Do you not want to talk about that?”

‘YES’.

“I’m so sorry, we’re not trying to be rude.”

…F…I…N…E.

We started brainstorming for better questions (Zoe or Ian had to be the ones to formally ask, though). 

“Where were you from?”

…O…H…I…O.

“And what year did Ian die?”

(I’m going to admit here that I can’t remember the exact year, it was definitely around the 1920′s or 30′s, though. We all thought it was a bit odd that the death year wasn’t exactly close to Ian’s birth year)

“What year did you die?”

He spelled out the same year. 

“Oh? Um…how long after Evan did you die?”

A long pause, and then: …W…E…E…K. 

“But you didn’t reincarnate like Ian?”

‘NO’. 

“Why not?”

The board fell silent again. They recharged. “Sorry. Um…Why did you decide to find Ian in his current life?”

…B…E…S…T…F…R…I…E…N…D. 

Before we could all start flat out cooing at that, it kept going, spelling out ‘…S…A…F…E.’

“Oh, so you’re his guardian angel?”

…C…L…O…S…E. 

“Close?”

No response. “Okay…How did you know Ian was Evan?”

…H…I…S…E…Y…E…S. 

(cue everyone going ‘awwwww’) “You have the same eyes when you reincarnate?”

‘YES’. 

“So…what were you doing before Ian was born?”

It fell silent again. 

“Kevin? We’re sorry?”

…F…I…N…E. 

“What did you mean by ‘close’ to a guardian angel? Are you not an angel?”

‘NO’.

“So…what are you, then?”

…S…T…O…P.

“Okay, sorry. Um…Is anyone else here with you?”

…Y…E…S.

“Who’s here with you?”

…D…E…A…T…H.

DEATH.

WHEN I TELL YOU WE SCREAMED. No one was Goddamn prepared for an answer like that! We’re just a bunch of asshole teens! None of us actually wanna die! What the fuck!!!! 

While we were all busy freaking out and trying to rationalize, Zoe managed to choke out a “Is…Death here for someone in this room?!”

‘NO’. 

“Is Death going to effect someone in this room?”

‘NO’. 

That got us to all calm down slightly, but….We were literally just told DEATH IS AMONG US. We were still freaking out, and were trying to figure out what Kevin meant by that. After a while though, something clicked. 

“Kevin? Does Death just have to be with you in order for you to talk to us?”

‘YES’.

THIS.

THIS LITERAL GODDAMN GHOST GOT PISSED OFF AT US.

AND SAW THE OPPORTUNITY TO FUCKING TROLL A BUNCH OF SHITTY TEENS. 

AND HE GODDAMN TOOK IT.

I HAVE NEVER RESPECTED A MAN MORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I STILL CANNOT GET OVER THIS. Eternal hats off to you, Kevin, oh my God.

We all slowly recovered from that scare, a little more wary about pissing Kevin off but also…more curious, because there was a lot to ask and a lot he seemed to want to hide. 

“Um…so is Heaven and all that real?”

A very, very long pause. Zoe and Ian almost went to recharge and try a new question, but then it slowly slide over to ‘YES’. 

The pause seemed to make it clear it wasn’t something he really wanted to go into. But, “So…what’s Heaven like?”

A long pause. …D…R…E…A…M.

“…And…is hell real?”

The planchette immediately flew around the board, spelling: …N…I…G…H…T…M…A…R…E.

None of us really knew what to say about that. 

We asked a few more questions, but Kevin still didn’t want to talk about himself that much. He liked talking about Evan, though (After this night, we had a running joke for a little bit about ‘cant believe we’re shipping Ian with a ghost’. There were some ‘implications’ I remember we all picked up on) But he still avoided questions pertaining to him. Zoe had a very worried look on her face around this point. She had been very curious about Kevin’s unwillingness to talk about certain topics, and things were slowly piecing together in her mind. She tried once more to get answers. “Kevin, I’m really sorry for asking, but I just- Um, I’m sorry, but did you kill yourself?”

There was a bright flash in the room. 

That made everyone jump and look around- we had caught it in the window, but we couldn’t see anyone outside or around the house. Zoe’s parents and brother were upstairs. We couldn’t find anything that would have caused it. It was just a flash, but we were completely alone and with the timing of the question…Well, everyone was unsettled about it. 

We eventually settled back down and recharged the board. “Kevin?…Did you?”

Slowly, it slid towards the ‘YES’. 

“…Because Evan died?”

‘YES’.

“And…that meant you couldn’t be reborn?”

‘YES’. 

“So…what happened?”

It stayed still. 

I had a very sick, sinking feeling in my stomach at this- I’d gone to Catholic school for 9 years, and I knew suicide is classified as a sin. In the more modern times the Church stopped being awful about it, always prayed for suicide victims and didn’t deny them burials anymore and always told the families the same spiel about being in God’s hands, but…It was still considered a mortal sin none the less. I told the group as much. 

Zoe said in a small voice “Were you…in hell?”

A long pause. ‘YES’. 

Fuck.

“Um…for how long?”

…F…O…R…E…V…E…R.

“That’s why you’re not a guardian angel then? Because you were in hell?”

…D…E…M…O…N.

“How did you…get out to find Ian?”

…L…I…L…I…T…H.

We’d all been on edge with the turn of the conversation, but that. Fuck. I nearly lost it at that. Zoe and the other’s asked who Lilith was, because she’s not common curriculum, but, well, short story answer- She was created before Eve, but she didn’t want to submit to Adam, so she was tortured to give birth to a dead child every day, but other accounts and stories of her do go on to say she became a lead torturer/essentially queen of hell. Fucking. 

Lilith let you out of hell?”

…Y…E…S.

“Why? Like what for?”

…I…D…O…N…O…T…K…N…O…W.

“You don’t….You have no idea why they let you out?”

‘NO’. 

“So you found Ian and became his…Guardian demon? Is that a thing?”

…Y…E…S.

“Does everyone have one?”

…Y…E…S. 

“Do I have an angel or a demon?”

…D…E…M…O…N.

Zoe, even though she’d been talking to a seemingly reasonable demon all night, looked a little worried about that. Back then we had a running joke in our friend group that Zoe was Satan, and well “Um, do I have a demon because of all the jokes I make?”

…Y…E…S.

“Um??? I’m sorry? Fuck.” 

We were all a little #shook but trying not to laugh at the look on her face at that. She went on to check with Kevin that having a demon instead of an angel didn’t actually mean anything bad, she wasn’t in like, undead trouble or anything, the only difference is the demons are usually working off a debt or something versus the angels not…But when Zoe and I were going over this the other day, she did suddenly realize that she hasn’t made a single Satan joke since this night and she’d ‘feel weird if one was made now’. Make of that what you will. 

He said me and the other girls all had Angels (Shoutout to you, Sarah! I’m still kicking at 22!).

Patricia, however, wanted some proof that ‘Helena’ existed and was there for her. Which is reasonable. She asked if her angel wanted to tell her anything. There was a brief pause before the planchette spelled out: …E…R…I…K…I…S…G…O…O…D. 

We were y e l l i n g. Listen, I know that’s clearly not going to be convincing evidence to a bunch of random people reading this, but basically Erik had been dating her best friend at the time and she was just…Very worried about the relationship. Very worried. For many reasons.‘Erik is good’ is exactly the thing she needed to hear from a guardian angel. (And, spoiler alert from two years in the future: he IS good!) But like. She teared up hearing that. It was nice. 

We tried to stray into lighter topics than the whole hell thing, because, again, fuck- I remember thinking to myself at some point ‘this poor guy is after-living the plot to a really great book’- but none of us wanted to upset him again and none of us wanted to get anymore upset ourselves. Liz had already had a panic attack by this point (the hell talk obviously got to her), and she was actively trying not to sob as she asked if she could speak to any passed on family members. We were told pretty much everyone gets reborn and there was no one else around except for Kevin and the other guardians (and good ole’ Death, of course). 

Ian’s got a big birthmark on his face, right? It’s adorable and we often made a lot of jokes about it (fondly), so at some point, while trying to stay on lighter topics, someone asked ‘Did Ian have that birthmark in his past life?‘

…S…C…A…R.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard about that theory that birthmarks have to do with how you died in a past life, but….shook. We all started trying to figure out if we had any meaningful birthmarks. Zoe got further freaked out because she has one on her wrist and one on her temple. What the fuck did she theoretically get up to in a past life?

That was the last really substantial thing he gave us, all the other questions tapered off so we could try to pretend we hadn’t learned we were talking to a demon who went to hell for no seemingly good reason and also no one would be able to talk to dead loved ones. After we finally came to a loss for questions, and people started having to leave- we just did the proper ‘goodbye’ and everything, followed all the rules, put the board away and split up. Liz was still drying her eyes when she left. Ian was mumbling to himself and swearing up and down he didn’t fake all that.  Zoe was frantically researching the information we received and kept repeating that that was the craziest fucking thing that ever happened to her (and she actually did find some thread about guardian demons). We talked about it for a bit before I went home. 

And, it’s like…Again, this could be nothing. But it doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels like a shifted view because…Even if it’s not real, it’s still an outlook on the afterlife that I had never considered before, and it’s…horrifying? This whole night I’ve just never been able to shake, I can’t get it out of my head, because if it is true? Fuck. If it’s true, fuck. The whole drive home I couldn’t help but think ‘ignorance is bliss’. 

It just left me with so many questions, questions I literally don’t think you can get the answers to until it’s too late, and…I don’t know what to do about that. 

Double Duty | M

Yoongi & Jungkook | BTS | 10.2k Words

w: for @tendershepherd and plotted with her (and she came up with the title. bless lmao) to create this mess of sub!jk & sub!yoongi, dom!reader, ass play, pussy worship, slight mxm, humiliation… and a lot more. this is so filthy. i’m sorry. lmfao

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