i honestly don't think i can better myself at sketches after this one

anonymous asked:

I don't mean to pressure you by any means but I was wondering why you haven't been putting out any more videos these days? Are you not making any more?

This will get pretty long but its something I’ve been wanting to talk about for quite a while, so sorry if this is something you guys are not interested in. 

The short and direct answer is, don’t worry about it! I’m still going to be making videos in the near future.

The long, extensive answer is this, though. If you guys have been following me for a few months, you guys know that I’ve been struggling with making content overall for quite a while now. Its made me depressed and frustrated even thinking about it. I consider myself a content creator, and when I cannot come up with a concept for a video that it worth making or showing publicly, I feel like a complete failure and end up unmotivated. This, however, is due to how I manage my Youtube channel and the type of content I’ve been putting out for a long time. It’s all been crackin’ silly jokes and improvising pretty much all of them. I know many of you guys like the videos like I HATE PULP and TOILET PAPER ANGER and the POKEMON CRIES videos, but honestly they require zero effort. Even so, after a while the jokes start to get pretty old, and I don’t want to force content down your throats over something that’s already run its course. These videos never really requires any effort on my side and the quality was mediocre at best.

There’s a lot I want to do, but I really enjoy doing things my current audience likes. However, I feel like its time for me to start doing things a little bit more for myself, while also retaining an audience and also growing it little by little.

I admit, I enjoy the attention and am slightly embarrassed to admit it. It’s not something I never really imagined myself saying publicly, but I feel it needs to be said for this post. I love the artwork you guys make for me, I love messages from you all, I love when you guys visit my streams, etc. However, for the past few months, I’ve become pretty irrelevant in the communities I used to be part of. Even in my own. It’s not really that big of a deal or a bad thing by any means, but since I’ve gotten a tiny taste of success, I kind of want to build up more upon it and do my very best to reach more people to make them laugh and have a better day because of stuff I make. This is the sole reason why I started making videos and audio in the first place. When my work can’t do that anymore, I feel useless. Therefore, I’ve been thinking long and hard on who I am and what I want to do with my work. I’ve been considering pure animation, sketches, vlogs, etc. There’s a lot I can do, but I think I’ve arrived at a conclusion that I’m not really willing to reveal just yet. Making stuff is more of a gamble, and when people like me worry a lot about these sorts of things, it can end up being pretty stressful. However, I feel like this entire “creator’s block” period and slight existential crisis was all critical to who I am and will be soon. 

I hope you guys understand where I’m coming from and why I haven’t been as active these past few days, and I really hope I haven’t betrayed your guys’ trust by not keeping up with more content… You guys are seriously one of the best things that have ever happened in my life, and I would feel really bad if I lost all of you some day. That’s why I’ll keep working hard on what I do and never give up on my hopes and dreams, living up to my own expectations and ambitions, with hopes that I reach your expectations as well! Again, sorry for the long post. I felt it was necessary for me to give some sort of explanation to my absence. Thank you so much for reading this, and if you have any more questions please don’t hesitate to ask away!! You guys are the best people in the planet, and I love hearing from you all. Keep being absolutely incredible.