i hiraeth

sometimes my mother tells me she loves me and i don’t want to say it back / i say it anyway. she taught me long ago that what i want is not as important as what other people need.

i am still trying to untangle that lie.

sometimes my father hugs me like i am all he has left in this world. i want nothing more than to leave. i stay because i carry his heart on my shoulders and my shoulders are already shaking. if i move it will fall.

i refuse to break hearts if i can help it / i cannot always help it.

yesterday i fell in love with an idea, with a floating cloud of dust / half-invisible / choking on air, on the particles of you.

tomorrow i will try to remind myself to look at the stars. i will forget to stare at the sky but this is fine / this is fine / i can find them in your eyes just as easy. next week i will try to remind myself to hold your hand. i will forget.

i am too busy staring at andromeda / the chained maiden. love never lasts and this is how i navigate home.

l.s. | HIRAETH © 2017

Hiraeth | Pt.10

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 | pt.5 | pt.6 | pt.7 | pt.8 | pt.9 | pt.10 | pt.11

Words: 7,272.

Genre: Zombie apocalypse au, angst.

Summary: A world full of dwindling hope and lost loves and yet you and Jungkook are all the other needs to feel at home.

Warning: Contains mature content (such as coarse language and violent themes).

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anonymous asked:

Ok so I've seen a lot of MM blogs answer this recently and I wanted to know the admins' response is here too... Which MM blogs do you guys like/recommend? Answers may be the same, I'm curious about each respective admin :)

Awh~ Thank you for caring!!

Ahemhemhem… wow, what nice timing anon! Just as I’ve been acquainting myself with a few more mysme blogs XD

My recommendations would be the following!! (I don’t follow many blogs but still!) (I take that back, I wrote this list two weeks ago)

  • @sinfulinsecret - for your best Jumin Han sin. Sinny’s one of my favourite blogs– WAIT NOT BECAUSE OF THE SIN but because she’s a really fun person to tease!! It’s a one-sided love BUT I WILL WIN HER OVER SOMEDAY. >^
  • @mysmekitten - Kitten’s got really cute HCs!! ^o^ She’s very sweet and considerate of her followers. I really like playing around with Kitten hehe~
  • @saeranoppa - MY SENPAI~ This busy gal can give you heartaches, I recommend her fic, hiraeth!!
  • @hachig4tsu - The chocolate chip fairy! Hachi runs an art blog~ I’ll make a bet with my followers here and now, she’s gonna become a huge blog one day XD I really feel like she’s going to become really professional and all that potential will be brought out for the world to see~
  • @serensama - oh Mother, I could never forget to mention you! Mama brings out a lot of heartwrenching angst (and sin, but seriously, check out her angst fics) and has made me really, really sad on multiple occasions. 
  • @tarotealeaf - I love her art AUs so much ahh! And she’s so cute too >///< 
  • @zenscrotch - NSFW. a talented motherfuckah who draws Zen’s dick for us and damn, they’re amazing with their drawings although I could never talk to them directly. ahaha. You think I’m crazy like Nao? I could never possibly approach such a heavenly sin-pai.
  • @digitalscratch-arting - NSFW AND IS SO SO SO NICE. I only recently started talking to them but duuuuuuude. I don’t wanna share this wonderful artist but T^T (cough be mine pls)

In the end, I’m just a fan like everyone else >o<


Haha… Call me crazy, but I tagged my favorite writing blogs on a particular post the other day (I’ve only talked to one of them and message the other, but still. I wanted to bury myself when I woke up and saw what I did). I’m sorry if that creeped you out. My inner Seven came out to play. That, and… did I mention that I tend to act drunk and reckless when I lack sleep?

I mostly follow art blogs, but there’s also a considerable number of writing blogs that I follow (apart from the ones that Ri does). I was a fan before everything else after all.


Listing my top 5 for each category:

Art blogs:

Writing blogs:

Hiraeth | Pt.9

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 | pt.5 | pt.6 | pt.7 | pt.8 | pt.9 | pt.10

Words: 6,460.

Genre: Zombie apocalypse au, angst.

Summary: A world full of dwindling hope and lost loves and yet you and Jungkook are all the other needs to feel at home.

Keep reading

Good Reads

aka my fic recs! Here are some of my all-time favourite stories and authors. Hopefully this’ll help you discover more amazing fics :)

*bolded = super duper extra faves


@jungblue -  Future Hearts and I Hate You, I Love You were the FIRST Bangtan fics I read so these stories hold a special place in my heart. But besides being the firsts, they’re honestly so good. Future Hearts makes me want to scream because it’s the classic situation where the girl can’t forget her first love and she meets a new guy and I can’t decide who I want the girl to end up with. I’m a huge trash for Jungkook but @jungblue has written Jimin’s x Y/N relationship so well that I sometimes find myself wanting Jimin to be the one. IHYILY is the best crush story (’nough said).

Favourites: Painting the Meadow’s Void; Loving Him, Loving Her (my first Tae fic!); Doctor Dreamy (I haven’t come across any fic like this so it’s really nice to see something original); Control

@kimvtae - She’s the BEST when it comes to characterization in my opinion. She really just takes a BTS member’s physical appearance and gives them a whole new personality (oh god I don’t think I explained that properly). 

Favourites: Diamond in the Rough; Fall For You (I’ve legitimately read this 4 times); Drag Me Down (I’m a sucker for mafia aus but she added a nice twist to it by adding in the mafia boss’ daughter, it makes the story so much more intense. She keeps you on the edge of your seat with every chapter and the action scenes are really well written, it’s like you’re watching an action scene); Foul Play

@inktae - QUEEN OF ANGST. QUEEN OF SOULMATE AU’S. Move aside Nicholas Sparks, here comes the new romantic-drama writer. There are 3 things you need to do before reading her stories. First, choose a location where no one will judge you; second, grab a tissue box; and lastly, grab a bucket of ice cream and mentally prepare to drawn yourself in your tears. Y’all think I’m joking but I’m deadass serious. I’m always rendered speechless (and ugly sobbing) after her stories cause she builds them up so well. She’s one of the most talented writers I’ve ever come across and this includes novel writers too. She has a way with her words where she’s able to evoke the emotions inside of you. Another thing about her stories is that although she ends them spectacularly, I’m always left laying in bed for the next few hours replaying the entire story over in my head and wondering about the lives of the characters after the story ended. 

Favourites: First Light (I had no idea what hotarubi no mori e was and well let’s just say I’m never trusting anyone ever again. DO YOU KNOW HOW EMOTIONALLY WRECKED I WAS AT THE END?); Blue Orchids (a classic); The Swirling Ways of Stars; Diaphanous; Written On The Sky; Away From the Sun

More favourites (in no particular order)!

Lust and Errors - @imaginethisbts | Hands down the best smut fic. 

Sillage (dare I say the best soulmate fic?); The Devil Skates on Thin Ice - @deerguk / @gukvory  | Her writing will leave you speechless.

The Adventures of BTS (Barely Trained Superheroes)  - @bang-tan | If you love her fakesubs, you’ll love this story. Filled with humour, fluff, and savageness; this is one hella fun story to read. Action and comedy scenes are written really well and it’s really the perfect mix of The Hunger Games and The Maze Runner. I highly recommend this! 

Hiraeth (needs to be made into a movie tbh); Sweeter Than Sugar; Just For Tonight; Bad Habits; Arranged Love - @jungkxook 

It’s All Fun and Games - @workofteaguk

Deal - @nchu | CEO!aus are right up my alley. 

Aquiver - @floralseokjin

Sin City - @btssmutgalore  

Mystery; Roommate; Lifetimes - @minsvga 

One Dance - @fightmejeonkook

Amaranthine - @jiminables

Orange Tulips; Complete - @kainks  | I cried like a b**** while reading Orange Tulips, and so will you.

Starboy - @sugajpg

Locked in Love; Surprise, Surprise - @jiminniemouse

Proposals - @pjxmin

The Boyfriend Shirt; Bedtime - @triptaech

Laundry Mishaps; Shower Here; Shades; Stormy Weather; Try Hard - @hobibliophile

This is not an exhaustive list by any means. There are so many stories that I have saved that need to be read. I’ll be updating this list in the near future!


Feels Like Home
(A Rodeo Cowboy!Dean x Reader Series)

Dean left his small hometown years ago for the Rodeo circuit, and now he’s back- trying to return to his roots. Reader wasn’t sure she’d ever see the young stable-hand her dad hired years ago, but there he is- much more handsome than before. Sparks fly between them, but will the new neighbor unsaddle our cowboy?

> Coming Soon…

All users in my Dean tags will be tagged in the first chapter, but to continue to be tagged, you have to opt in to the series.

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Hiraeth (epilogue)


“What if one day you wake up and don’t love me anymore?” Jeongguk says it so very softly and he wishes that he could swallow every letter back into his mouth and chain it down to his heart.

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung’s baritone voice has taken on a certain firmness that has Jeongguk pliant underneath the other’s touch when he sits up and turns Jeongguk flat on his back so that he can look down at him. His face is serious, stern. “Why would you even think that?”

Because Jeongguk is a host of insecurities and he can’t stop thinking about all of the possibilities. He can’t stop doubting. What if Taehyung doesn’t love him like roses, not like birdsongs, not like little gestures. What if Taehyung loves him like good enough, like his parents don’t mind him, like he’s comfortable enough. Like their relationship isn’t exactly what he pictured but it’s not like they don’t get along. Like when Jeongguk isn’t administ a breakdown or breaking hearts he’s a good person; like it would be scarier to be alone again.

read here

Benny & Lullabies

This was requested by @hunters-hiraeth! I hope you enjoy this! <3 <3

Word count: 430

Warnings: fluff

(gif is not mine)

It was another restless night for you in the bunker.  Sam and Dean were on a hunt and you hated sleeping alone.  You hoped that Benny was still in the kitchen; it smelled like it.  You wondered what he could be cooking at an hour like this.

You poked your head into the kitchen, immediately gaining Benny’s attention.  A smile spread across his lips before he returned to the food on the stove.  “Ya should be sleepin’ Sugar Belle,” Benny mumbled, stirring the food inside of the pot.  “I’m not keepin’ ya up am I?”

“Nope,” you sighed, hoisting yourself onto the countertop next to Benny.  “I can’t sleep.”  

Benny glanced over at you.  He could sense how tired you were.  It was a good thing he convinced Sam and Dean to go without you.  “I’ve already made you a cup of tea,” Benny recalled, turning off the burner.  “I think I know just what’cha need [Y/N].”

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Hiraeth: End

Yunhyeong couldn’t believe how much happiness they’d managed to fit into the last two weeks. They’d gone swimming at sunset, played two on two soccer with Junhoe and Donghyuk (and got destroyed, Donghyuk was a force of nature), made smores by the campfire and even stayed out all night under the stars. Yunhyeong felt every second of hurt get erased by Chanwoo’s soft hands and gentle kisses. As the end came near Chanwoo became distracted. He was terrified, he kept his hand under his arm. Protecting a phantom injury from happening again.

It’d taken a special request to use the office phone. Chanwoo didn’t have a visa to make a long distance call and refused to let Yunhyeong pay for it. Yunhyeong waited outside as Chanwoo made the call. Yunhyeong was worried too, even though he tried to hide it in kisses and smiles. He felt it as a hot sort of boiling feeling in his stomach. How could he let Chanwoo go back to that house. How could he let Chanwoo get hurt again?

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masterlist, ♡

✻ tag for the member  ⓐ angst  ⓕ fluff  ® requested    

if you want to read them all in one go without clicking separately on the title, you can read them here♡

Im Jaebum

1. being affectionate, ♡  // him being extra clingy as he gets jealous of your best friend, junior being touchy with you ®ⓕ

2. Boyfriend! JB ♡ // he doesn’t want you to overwork ⓕ

3. Badboy!JB ♡ // badboy jb confesses to you on the rooftop ⓕ

4.  to Jae, with love ♡ // you surprise him at his tour ®ⓕ   

5. and you are my strength, ♡ //  how he met you and fell in love with you ⓕ

6. 21st & key, ♡ // it was your birthday, you cried when he didn’t come back but you cried harder because of what he have done for you ⓕ

7.  can’t you see? // he saved you when you were getting bullied, telling you that you are just right ®ⓐⓕ

drabble ↴

1. perks of dating Im Jae Bum #1 // love is “I can actually do it, but when you are here, why should I?” ⓕ

series ↴

1.  hiraeth: prologue //  he wanted her back desperately; but now she is here, why does he feel empty?  ⓐ

2. hiraeth: pt. one // he is where the mist is and that day i wake up with no mist  ⓐ

Park Jinyoung

1. i’m here ∞ // you were having a bad day and you even vented your anger at him but he stays  ⓐⓕ

2. breathtaking ∞ // late night coffee date turns to a confession ®ⓕ


1. perks of dating Park Jinyoung ∞  // blow drying long hair could be a big headache especially when you have a long day, that’s when your boyfriend decides to help ⓕ

2.  “everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy…”  ®ⓐⓕ

Mark Tuan

1. sick of being just friends ◇ // he has fallen for you and he is sick of being just your best friend so he decided to confess ®ⓕ

2. by your side ◇ // when you were having fun with him and his friends, you received a call from the hospital ®ⓐⓕ


1. perks of dating mark tuan ◇ // they said when a man loves you, he acts like a kid in front of you ⓕ

2. “you better kiss me right this second.”  ®ⓕ

3.  “i came here to explain what happened, and i’m not leaving until you listen.”  ®ⓐ

4.  “I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”  ®ⓕ

Nothing Good Happens After 2AM

Word Count: 1515
Genre: Angst
Summary: You drunk call Jimin at 3:15AM, and both of you wish he never answered the phone

Nothing good ever happens after 2AM

 It was something Jimin’s mother always said to him, when he stumbled home late after a day of hanging out with people, when he bid goodbye to his family members to hang out with his friends, or when he walked home with his family after a night at a family dinner. Jimin never did pay much attention to what she meant by it, always nodding his head to what she said before giving her a smile and heading off on his own.

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reimatau  asked:

Hey Alyssa! Omg ok so I wrote my literature essay using the ideas from Hiraeth and I got A asfgh I love that fic so much and you inspired me tHAnk yoU 😽✊💖

ahh cool!! what did you write about exactly? I’m glad you were inspired and got great mark~