i hear your mom's going out with squeak

South Park Fun Fact #954

There’s a little-known guest voice that shows up in a couple episodes, such as the fake Mr. Hankey in the mall in Merry Christmas Charlie Manson! (S2E16), Satan’s lover Chris in the two-parter Do the Handicapped Go to Hell? / Probably (S4E9/10), and the game show announcer in Cow Days (S2E13).

The voice belongs to Dian Bachar, a guy that Matt and Trey befriended while in college. He acted in several of their other productions as well, most notably as Kenny “Squeak” Scolari in Baseketball (1998).

A drabble in which Katniss works a shitty retail job and has to help a lost little girl find her dad. I bet you can guess who the dad is. Basically I’m just prompting myself at this point.


“Hey Catpiss,” Clove greeted with an ugly smile.

Katniss scowled but said nothing back. Twenty-two years old, and it was like she had never left high school. She had hoped once she graduated and entered the working world, there’d be less catty girls, but it seemed there would always be girls like Clove.

“So rude,” Clove chastised. “Have fun this afternoon.” She wiggled her fingers and drifted off toward the backroom.

Katniss groaned when she saw the mountain of unsorted clothing sitting in the shopping cart. Clove hadn’t bothered to hang anything up. Katniss inspected the dressing rooms and found three still full of clothing.

Damn it. Clove was useless. She had likely spent her entire shift sitting on her ass, playing with her cell phone. There was a rumor that Clove had a trust fund, and her father had made her get a job to learn the value of hard work before she inherited millions for doing nothing.

It didn’t seem like the message was getting through.

The only reason Clove hadn’t been fired yet was because she was sleeping with their manager, Seneca Crane. He was alright looking, but he was almost twice their age. Katniss was pretty sure Clove had some daddy issues to work through.

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Calling to Say

A/N: Here’s Luke’s Holiday Special!! This was inspired by a Serena Ryder song, let me know what you think!x

You watch through the half frozen window as your younger cousins run around the backyard throwing snowballs at each other. Watching them be so care free, you can’t help but feel a little envious, you miss being able to run around without a care in the world.

“You know,” Your mom starts, coming over to stand by you, a smile forming on her face as she sees the kids having fun, “You’re never too old to go play in the snow,” She tells you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and squeezing you affectionately.

“I know,” You offer her a sad smile, leaning into her embrace momentarily before continuing, “But I think I’m gonna go make a call.”

“Really,” She gives you a look, knowing exactly what you meant by ‘make a call’, “Are you sure?”

“It’s Christmas, mom,” You shrug, not bothering to explain further.

Filled with determination, you make your way out of the kitchen and upstairs to your old childhood room, closing the door as you enter for more privacy. Nervously, you sit on the edge of your small twin bed, fiddling with your phone briefly before finally dialling the familiar number.

“Hello?” The voice you’ve been craving to hear for the past few months answers.

“Hi,” You squeak, cringing at your lack of composure, “It’s me,” You tell him, as if he didn’t already know.

“I know,” He chuckles lowly the sound pulling at your lonely heartstrings, making dozens of little butterflies flutter in your stomach, “I wasn’t expecting you to call, that’s all.”

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