i hear the voices that will not be drowned

Silver Springs (Rob Benedict x Reader)

Rob is your best friend and you’re his, but he has no idea how in love you are with him and it’s tearing you apart.

This is based on the song Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac, so any singing in the fic is from that song and i recommend you listen to it before you read this.

Warnings: Angst, angst and more angst. Some fluff, smut.

Word Count: 5,243 words (im so sorry lmao)


The rain that had previously been relentless, tapping against the windows of the building had become all but background noise as I padded bare-foot past the large room. I had wanted to collect something from my bedroom, but the silvery small tones coming from the room had me stop in my tracks. Her voice was quiet and the rain almost drowned her out, but I could still hear her words clearly. I fixated on the sound of her voice, it was almost a whisper like she was singing for herself and her alone. I gingerly gave the door a light push with my index finger, wanting to see her as she sang but not wanting my presence to interrupt her. She had her back to me and the first thing I noticed was how effortlessly and light her fingers glided across the piano as she serenaded herself.

“You could be my silver springs….” There it was again, that voice. That voice that sounded like a feeling. The feeling of gliding my fingers along the softest silk. The words were so soulful, I had never heard her sing before, she was too shy. Oh how I wanted to hear her sing everything now.

“Blue green colours flashing.” She sang the next line with as little effort as the first. I could no longer hear the rain at all, I was entirely transfixed with her voice.

“I would be your only dream, your shining autumn, ocean crashing……” Her voice began to sound shaky all of a sudden and I didn’t understand why. But she still continued to sing her song, picking up the pace and singing with a higher tone now.

“And did you say she was pretty?” She was pressing the keys of the piano a little harder now.

“And did you say that she loved you?” Her voice broke as she sang the word ‘love’. It broke my heart to see her upset like this, but I couldn’t move. I was frozen in my spot.

“Baby, I don’t wanna know….” That was the last line she sang before I heard her suck in a breath, letting out a quiet sob soon after. Her hands left the instruments face and her left hand covered her face as she lowered her head, sobbing quietly to herself.

Initially I hadn’t wanted her to know I was there, but I just couldn’t leave her to cry alone. She was my best friend and I adored her. Before I was even aware I was doing it, I pushed the door open and stepped into the room, walking right over to her. I caught a glimpse of her shocked and worried expression before I stood in front of her and pulled her face into my stomach, putting my arms around her. She didn’t say anything and she didn’t move, she just wept into my shirt and I let her. I brought my right hand to her head, weaving my fingers through the strands of her soft hair in an attempt to sooth her somewhat. It didn’t work.

After a few moments I let go of her and straddled the piano seat in front of her, just enough room for the both of us. My arms then went straight back to her, pulling her back to me, her face against my chest and my hands on her back and in her hair again.  

“Shhhh….” I cooed. “I’m here……” I told her, whispering in her ear. Her body racked as she sobbed into my shirt. “What’s the matter, darlin’?” I asked. I wanted to know who had hurt her. I wanted to find whoever it was and destroy them. How could somebody hurt this girl so much? She was beautiful and kind, she didn’t deserve it.

“I….” She began to speak, her voice hoarse and a whisper. I slowly rubbed her back, coaxing her to speak to me. She let out another sob and I planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“I just….I love him so much, Robbie….” I froze again.

She was in love. My best friend was in love and I had no idea until now. What kind of a friend was I? I should have been there for her, but I was too busy trying to find my own relationship. I thought having a girlfriend was more important to me than being here for her. I pulled her even closer and held her tighter, if that were humanly possible.

“You’re in love?” I asked her, I was in shock. I’d never thought of her being in love before.

“It’s not fair….” She whimpered. I continued to rub her back.

“He must be a very lucky guy….” I don’t know what made me say that. It’s like my brain had betrayed my mouth and the words just flew out. I didn’t even know what I meant by that.

“He’s….he’s my best friend….” She began to explain, weeping between words and sentences. Her best friend? Here I was thinking I was her best friend. “God, he’s just…he’s so perfect. He’s always there for me, he always picks me up when I’m down and he…” I planted another kiss on her head, listening to her as she explained. I was hurt that she didn’t see me as close a friend as I had thought, but she was more important than my feelings right now.

“We used to do everything together but then he started….going on dates with all these women, he just….he was desperate to find somebody….to find the one…” This guy that was breaking her heart sounded similar to me right now, which truthfully made me feel pretty guilty. But I continued to listen. “….and now he has a girlfriend and he…..you….” I placed my chin on top of her head and began to rub her back faster. It really broke my heart to see her this way.

“Shh….it’s okay….it’ll be okay.” I pressed my lips to her head again, kissing her gently as I repeatedly shushed her. She surprised me next, because out of all the sobbing and the silence in between she began to sing again. I held her hand, listening closely to her voice and the words that came with them.

“Time casts a spell on you….but you won’t forget me….” She whisper-sang into my chest. I couldn’t help the grin that broke out on my face as I heard her beautiful voice again. But my grin ceased at her next line.

“I know I could have loved you….” She began to sing the last line, but then stopped and spoke the last part. “…but you would not let me….” She was looking at me now and I just couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t speak, or move. I couldn’t even look away from her eyes as they looked up into mine, they were so empty. I felt as though I was missing something, there was something unspoken that she was conveying to me, but I didn’t quite understand.

“I hope she makes you happy.” What did she mean? Who was she talking about? “You deserve to be happy, even if that means I won’t be. Even if it means that you won’t be happy…..with me.” That was it, I understood.

“You were talking about me.” I stated, it wasn’t a question. “You’re in love with……you’re in love with me?”  I asked her, dismayed. She couldn’t love me. That wasn’t possible. I’d been her best friend for years, it wasn’t possible. She gave me one of her small, sweet smiles before she moved away from me.

“Y/N?” She was moving away from me and I didn’t like it. I know, I was with somebody else now and I couldn’t just drop everything for Y/N. Could I? I was so lost.

“I have to go….” She rose to her feet. More than anything, I wanted to stop her from leaving. I willed myself to get up and stop her, to keep her to next to me. But I couldn’t move. It was like I was glued to the spot. I watched her as she walked away from me, her hand gliding out of my own and letting my own hand drop to my lap. She brought up one of her fingers to wipe away the tears that had gathered on her face and she left. She left the room. She left the house. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know when I’d next see her again. If, I’d see her again.

It took me a few minutes before something snapped in the back of my mind. I stood quickly, stumbling over the chair as I ran out of the room. I picked up the pace as I trudged down the hallway, down the stairs and after her. But it was too late. Richard stood there with a small smile.

“She’s already gone, buddy.” He told me.

“Did you know?” I asked him. I wanted to know if he knew and if he did, how long had he known. And why hadn’t he thought to tell me? Richard looked down at the floor.

“Rich. Did. You. Know.” I asked, pausing between each word. I was furious. He nodded. “For how long?” I asked him.

“From the start. She’s loved you since she met you. I knew from the start.” He explained. I wished he’d told me as soon as he knew. I spent so long trying to find the perfect woman to spend my life with and there she was, right by my side. But now I was with another. I was beginning to question whether I loved her or not. I didn’t know if I had it in me to break up with her, just for Y/N.

Your P.O.V.

It felt as if you’d just destroyed everything good in the world. The sound of your heels clicking against the sidewalk as you made your way home could not distract you enough from the turmoil going on inside your head and heart. As if your heart wasn’t broken enough, you had just given it the killing blow. You didn’t think you could feel anything ever again, you were numb. You were glad it was late at night at least, the rain had stopped and nobody was out tonight so there wasn’t a chance of anybody seeing your tear and mascara stained face.

You made your way into your house, kicking off your heels and collapsing down onto the sofa, legs sprawled across the arm. You lay there staring at the ceiling, replaying tonight’s events in your mind over and over until you were interrupted by a beep from your phone. Your hand dived into your pocket, pulling your cellphone out. It was a text from Rob. Your heart sank.

You read the text over and over. You didn’t want to reply. You couldn’t. Whatever he’d say if you spoke wouldn’t be good. You weren’t ready for more hurt, so you ignored the text and put your phone back down.

He’d sent you numerous texts in the last minute, he didn’t seem to be giving up and then the dreaded happened. Your phone began to ring and his contact name came up. You dropped your phone and let it go to voicemail. You just wanted to get over him now, so you figured to do that you had to ignore him now. You put your phone on silent, putting it to charge and you went to bed.

When you woke up your first instinct was to check your phone and you saw that there were 9 missed calls from Rob. Some were from last night, and the rest from this morning. Why was he still trying? He was happy. He had somebody and obviously given the distance he’d recently been giving you he didn’t need you in his life that badly. The latest phone call was from 30 minutes ago, but you ignored them once more and got out of bed to begin your lonely day.

After taking a shower and getting dressed you applied some of your usual makeup, thinking you could do with the self esteem boost. You then went to make a hot drink downstairs but were interrupted when you heard the doorbell ringing. You assumed it was the mailman, it was around the time that he arrived.

You fluttered through the hallway and without looking through the window you opened the door wide, not expecting to see who you saw standing there.

“Rob.” You croaked. Your voice was a mess and was hoarse from all of the crying you had been doing. More tears threatened to force their way through your eyes, but you were stronger than that. You didn’t let them win.

“Y/N, please! I need to talk to you now, it’s important….” You shook your head and pushed the door. You were adamant in slamming the door in his face, but you were stopped by robs strong hand. He had grabbed the door before it had met the doorframe. He forced his way into your house and you couldn’t do anything because of how fast he was moving. You backed away.

“Rob, stop it….please, I don’t want you here.” You were begging him to leave. Just him being there was tearing you up inside. You were breaking.

“We have to talk.” Rob pleaded with you.

“No! We don’t have to talk!” You scolded him. He froze in his spot, wide blue eyes looking back at you in confusion. “It’s done, Rob. You have something good going on for you, you don’t need me anymore. You have her. She’ll make you happy. Just, leave me out of it please.” You no longer wanted to be in his life. Or rather you didn’t want him in yours.

“Y/N…please I can’t lose you. You’re my best friend.” He stepped closer to you, drawing his hand out to take yours. You stepped further back, crossing your arms. He withdrew his hand and let it fall to his side.

“Rob, I can’t see you anymore.” You were tearing up again, looking away from his icy eyes.

“It hurts too much, it’s not healthy. I can’t….I can’t eat or sleep because of you….” You sat down on the bottom step of your staircase. Rob stood there looking down at you.

“Please don’t turn me away.” He was begging you now. Why couldn’t he understand the pain you were in? Why couldn’t he just leave you the hell alone?

“Leave, Rob. I don’t want you in my life anymore.”

“You don’t mean that, Y/N. You don’t mean that.” He had knelt down in front of you, taking one of your hands into his. He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your hand and you could feel the tear that had found its way down his cheek.

“Yes I do…” You snatched your hand away from his and made your way upstairs, disregarding the coffee you’d been making in the kitchen.

Rob was hot on your trail as you walked up the stairs and along the corridor. The man was stubborn you had to hand it to him, but you needed him to leave. You didn’t want to look at his face again. You were trying to be kind to yourself. Once you realised he had no plans on leaving your house, you grabbed a coat and your purse and pushed past him.

“Wait, where are you going?” Rob called after you as you walked back down the stairs.

“Y/N!” He shouted, even louder. He started to run down the stairs after you and before you managed to close the front door behind you he’d grabbed your hand and yanked you back to face him. “Y/N, come on….please just let me talk to you, we can sit down and talk this through you don’t have to, you don’t have to just shut me out of your life forever. Please, Y/N I couldn’t bare it.” He let go of your hand, giving you the option and the free will to stay if you wanted to. But you didn’t.

You left the house, leaving your door wide open and Rob stood in the doorframe watching you as you drove away.

Rob’s P.O.V

This was the second time I’d watched the woman I loved leave me. She didn’t want me in her life anymore. She’d said that repeatedly. I had dropped everything for her. As soon as I saw she wasn’t going to answer my phone calls, I rang my girlfriend and I broke up with her.  I loved Y/N. And I just watched her walk out the fucking door again. That was it. I wasn’t going to stop trying to tell her I loved her. So I decided I’d stay in her house until she came back. So I went into her living room and I made myself comfy on the sofa she had there. I would wait all day for her. Hell I’d wait all night if I had to. I needed her in my life, more than air.

As I spent hours sat in her house on my own, I sent her a string of texts. Telling her I needed her in my life, telling her I wasn’t going to leave until she came home and personally threw me out. But I got nothing back. I decided to try one more time, to phone her. I typed in her contact on my phone and pressed ring. That’s when I snapped. She had blocked my number. I couldn’t phone her anymore, I couldn’t message her. I was furious. But I was more angry at myself for letting it get to this. I should have just told her I loved her as soon as I walked through her door.

I heard the click of the door opening. It was dark, it must have been late at night and I had fallen asleep on her sofa. I sat up, rubbing my eyes.

“I told you to leave….” Her voice was quiet, with a hint of anger but I also sensed a hint of relief in her voice.

“Get up. Come on.” She ordered and I obeyed. I went straight to her. I don’t really know what I expected, but I followed her out the front door.

“Get in the car…” She spoke quietly. It must have been late as there were no cars on the roads at all and nobody’s lights were on in their homes.

“Where are we going?” I asked her, half asleep.

“I’m taking you home.” She said, opening the passenger’s door. “Get in.”

“No.” I stated. I wasn’t going anywhere, I wanted to stay with her. “No, I wanna stay with you.”

“Rob just get in the damn car, will you?!” She shouted. She was growing incredibly impatient with me and I knew full well. Something came over me in that moment. I don’t know if it was the stress, or the way she’d shouted at me but something snapped. I slammed the door shut, startling her. I wanted to tell her how I loved her. But I couldn’t say those words. I decided in the moment that actions spoke louder than words, so I grabbed her by the waist, shoving her as gently as I could against the side of her car.

“Robbie, what the fuck are you do-” I smashed my lips into hers, ignoring anything she was going to say. It was the most intense kiss of my life. All the pain we had both gone through in the last 24 hours had surfaced in an romantic, needy kiss. I brought my hands up to her hair, god how i loved the feel of my hands in her hair. I started to pull at her as my lips did the talking for me, but as I was about to break away I felt her hand land harshly on the side of my face. She’d slapped me. I hadn’t realised that she didn’t want me to kiss her. I thought she’d wanted it as badly as I had and now I felt awful.

“What was that for?!” I asked her, pulling away.

“You’re such an asshole!” She shouted in my face. She was fidgeting between me and the car, trying to move away from me. “You have a girlfriend you can’t just, you can’t do this! That’s not fair on me and it’s not fair on her” She was breaking down again. I was a colossal dick. I’d lost count of how many times I’d make her break down in the last two days. She pressed her hands against my chest, pushing against me and trying to move me off her. I wouldn’t budge though.

“Y/N….little girl….” I whispered, looking into her gorgeous eyes. “I broke up with her.” Her eyebrows furrowed and her nose crinkled at the top as she heard what I said. “I broke up with her last night……for you.”

Readers P.O.V

You couldn’t believe what he’d just said. You froze in your spot, no longer trying to loosen his grip on you. You didn’t understand why he would do something like that. Nobody liked you romantically, let alone loved. None of the pieces fitted together. You shook your head.

“I love you, Y/N” Rob was absentmindedly playing with my hair again as I looked back into those cold, icy blues. God how I loved the feel of his hands in my hair.

“Please don’t send me home, babe.” Rob always had a knack for lightening the mood in a stiff atmosphere. You let out an obnoxiously loud laugh without meaning to, but it had a ripple effect and Rob began to laugh too. He pressed another kiss to your lips, a quick but amazing kiss.

“You’re already home.” You told him, offering him a small smile. You were still unsure about this whole thing, but you were trying. Somehow between the time I had led him out of my house and now, he had managed to steal my car keys from me. He held them up, pressing the button and locking the vehicle.

“You thief.”

“You know it, girl.” He brought his lips back to yours a third time in a tender meeting. His lips moved slowly between yours for a short while, before he broke away and grabbed your hand.

“Come on…” He coaxed you back into the house, holding your hands in his and leading you backwards through your own door.

Rob took care of closing the front door as you made your way back up the stairs to your bedroom, per his orders. You were sat on the edge of your double bed, thinking over the events of today and tonight. Rob stumbled in a few moments later, instantly breaking into a smile upon making eye contact.

“I really do love you. I just didn’t realise.” He said, stood in the doorway. You patted the empty space next to you and he obliged, closing the door and coming to sit next to you. You felt the mattress sink slightly as he took up the space next to you. You hadn’t even said anything and his lips were already on your neck, which took you deeply by surprise. You let out a gasp, which was followed by a string of high pitched moans. All of which he giggled at. By the time he’d stopped kissing your neck he was laying down on top of you on the edge of the bed, your head in the center of the mattress. He was grinning down at you.

“I forgive you.” You told him, giggling. He kissed you quickly on the lips, smiling down at you after. He kissed you again. And again. And again. Every time you opened your mouth to object he kissed you, which as a lot as you were an argumentative son of a bitch.

“Shhhh.” He said finally, placing his index finger over your lips. You were still being pretty much crushed under his weight but god he was worth the pain. “Let me worship you.” That was the last thing he said before your shirt was suddenly being pulled from your chest. He threw your t-shirt into the distance, not caring where it landed. He then made his way down your body, shuffling on his knees as he moved. You watched as he unbuttoned your jeans and pulled them down your legs, then throwing them in another direction. The man had no regard for your clothes at all.

He made his way back up, pecking at your cheek a couple of times before he wedged his arms between your back and the bed, struggling to unclasp your bra. After a several moments he managed to undo it and flung your bra somewhere unknown.

“Rob, you’d better tidy my room when you’re done making a mess.”

“More important things to attend to right now, babe.” The word babe was muffled as he went straight for one of your breasts, kissing and licking before sucking your nipple between his teeth, nipping lightly. He massaged your other breast with his hand and you lay there, an absolute mess.

After several minutes of pure torture you began to unbutton his shirt eagerly. Eventually he sat up and helped you out by pulling it off and throwing it to the side. He let you unbuckle his belt for him, enjoying the view from where he was straddling you. Once you’d thrown his belt he stood up from the bed and kicked his jeans off, then pouncing back down onto you.

Rob was arched over you on all fours giving you a very dirty smirk, eventually you got the hint and began to shuffle backwards on the bed until your head met your pillows and you lay down properly. Rob crawled over to you, stopping by your panties. He clipped his fingers into the sides of them and pulled them down in one swift motion, again throwing them. You were going to have to set some rules about that in the morning, but right now there were more important things happening. He crawled another few inches before your lips connected again in a searing kiss. He fell onto you, burying you beneath his whole weight but god it felt good to be so close to him. Skin against skin, with him nipping at your lips and exploring your mouth with his tongue. You made out for what felt like forever and it was glorious, but eventually you began to get needy and you could feel how hard Rob was through his boxers. Your hand trailed down his side before it found its way to his bulge, palming through the fabric to help him out a little. He let out a raspy moan, breaking away and making eye contact. You’d never seen him like this before, his iris’ were blown wide as he looked into your own. He sat up once again and practically ripped off his boxers.

He climbed back on top of you and positioned himself against you, looking to you for approval.

You trailed your hands up around his neck, pulling his face down closer to you. You kissed him first this time and he took it as a green light to push into you. You moaned as he filled you up. You couldn’t help but break away from the kiss when he began to move. He pressed his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes for the entire time that he made love to you. The sound of his quiet groans and the way his eyebrows knotted together when he hit a good spot turned you on so much more, seeing him in pleasure making you close to your climax. Rob must have noticed by your moans that you were close, because you felt his fingers make their way between your legs, rubbing against your clit furiously. Your eyes clenched shut at the extra contact. The pleasure was going to kill you, you were sure. Rob began to move more frantically, his cock pushing deeper and deeper into you with each thrust. He’d buried his head in the crook of your neck at this point as he slammed into you, hitting your g-spot with each new thrust. The sound of his moans vibrated into your neck causing you to moan with him. You knew he was really close to finishing now. You could hear him muttering little words between gasps, they were almost too quiet to hear but you caught some of the ‘god’s and the ‘i love you’s.

You were wondering how much longer you could hold on before he bit down onto your neck, sucking at the spot and causing you to practically explode. You moaned his name out, not caring how loud you were being as he rubbed at your clit over and over until you’d finished. He continued to thrust into you, placing his hands either side of your head and pushing himself up to angle himself better. When he finally came you knew you’d have complaints from your neighbours the following day. He let out one of the raspiest groans you’d ever heard, followed by a very loud ‘Oh, fuck!’ which admittedly had turned you on again. He let out another string of quiet moans before he finally pulled out and collapsed on top of you.

You let him lay there over you for a while, noting how heavy he was breathing. Once his breathing had steadied he looked up to you from your chest. You had your hand in his hair, playing with his curls between your fingers. He smiled up to you, a loving smile of adoration.

“You’re beautiful.” He told you. You smiled down at him.

“And you are.” You replied. Because he really was. He was beautiful. He’d been the only one for you since you’d met him, you’d known that then. And you certainly knew that now. He rolled off of you, pulling the covers over the both of you. You lay there on your back, with Rob attached to your side and his strong arm over you. He had his hand on your hip and was staring at you, his face inches away from yours. Eventually you turned to look at him. You loved how he smiled. And you loved how he smiled at you more.

“I can’t believe you broke up with her.” You whispered, pushing a stray curl from his head. “And for me.” You continued to speak. Rob chuckled, planting a kiss on the end of your nose.

“I can. You’re all I want now. You’re all I’m ever gonna need.” He shuffled as close as possible and gave you another kiss, this time on the lips once more. He rested his head on your pillow, staring into your eyes again. Letting out a sigh he opened his mouth and he sang to you.

“I could be your silver springs…..your blue green colours flashin’.” You let out a sharp laugh, biting your lip as you felt some tears stinging your eyes. Rob wiped them away with the edge of his finger, kissing where they’d landed.

“I’m so in love with you.” He chuckled to himself. You both lay together like that for over an hour, neither of you caring that it was gone three in the morning.

You were together and that was all that mattered now.

You were both each other’s dream.

100 Ways to Say ‘I Hate You’

I saw a post about 100 ways to say ‘I love you’, so I thought I’d make the anti-version if it doesn’t exist already. Roleplayers, send these to each other for angst reasons! Tw for emotional abuse, language, and some major rejection themes, though some  them are joking and could be used for friendly rivals or pals who play-insult one another. Change or add pronouns as necessary.

  1. “You’re a disappointment to me.”
  2. “I don’t care if you live or die.”
  3. “I used to care about you. Now? I regret every second I wasted.”
  4. “How do you think I feel? I’m pissed off!”
  5. “Go. Just go.”
  6. “If you come back, I won’t be here.”
  7. “I’ve never despised someone as much as I despise you.”
  8. “Ha! You think I care about you? What do you think I am, desperate?”
  9. “I regret ever saying ‘hello’.”
  10. “Leave and don’t come back, ever.”
  11. “Remember when we first met? I wish I didn’t.”
  12. “You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”
  13. “Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” “You took months/years of my life away. I’ll never get those back.”
  14. “I saw a trash bag on the side of the road today. Reminded me of you.”
  15. “I could have been doing so much better than wasting my time with you.”
  16. “You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”
  17. “I don’t care.”
  18. “Go ahead, leave. Don’t worry about coming back.”
  19. “You’re such a piece of shit.”
  20. “I didn’t think you could be any more of a shithead, but you just proved me wrong.”
  21. “You’re so stupid.”
  22. “Why do I waste my time with you?”
  23. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”
  24. “Hey! Just a daily reminder: you’re a piece of shit!”
  25. “I deserve so much better.”
  26. “We’re not friends. We were never friends!”
  27. “I pretended to like you because I felt bad for you! How did you fall for that?”
  28. “I never want to see you again.”
  29. “You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell.”
  30. “Don’t apologize - you don’t deserve my forgiveness!”
  31. “No, I’m never giving you another chance!”
  32. “I wish you were never born.”
  33. “You’re the last person I wanted to see right now.”
  34. “I’d rather be working with anyone else in the whole world right now.”
  35. “When you get back, your shit’s gonna be on the front lawn. Take it and get out.”
  36. “Go ahead, choose them! You deserve each other.”
  37. “I don’t know what they see in you.”
  38. “You’re an embarrassment to me.”
  39. “You’re an embarrassment to all of us.”
  40. “I wish it was you. I wish it was you to die instead of them.”
  41. “God, why did I have to end up working with the biggest asshole in the world?”
  42. “How could you think I ever loved you? You seriously think I’d sink that low?”
  43. “Sorry, I just puked in my mouth a bit. I accidentally looked at your face.”
  44. “How can you even live with yourself?”
  45. “If I was your mirror, I’d break myself just so you would throw me in the trash and I wouldn’t have to look at you.”
  46. “Being with you was the worst time of my life.”
  47. “You’re a monster.”
  48. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead because of you.”
  49. “I’m going to ruin your fucking life.”
  50. “You said you would change, but you never did! You never will!”
  51. “Some people are just born to fail. Sorry you’re one of the unlucky ones.”
  52. “You’re so worthless, you hardly even exist to me.”
  53. “I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and just walk away.”
  54. “If you give me that look one more time, I’m skipping jump-rope with your large intestines.”
  55. “Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even know you.”
  56. “Ugh, it smells like something died in here. Oh. It’s just you.”
  57. “You need to stop. You hurt everyone around you!”
  58. “Until you get your shit together, I don’t want to hear you complain.”
  59. “Look at you. You’re disgusting.”
  60. “Stop making me look bad.”
  61. “You have a face that makes me wish punching people wasn’t frowned upon in our society.”
  62. “Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your obnoxious voice.”
  63. “Go play in traffic.”
  64. “Fuck off.”
  65. “If I saw you in the ocean clinging to a log for safety, I’d save the log and let you drown. At least wood can become something useful, like toilet paper.”
  66. “How could I ever love something as terrible and hideous as you?”
  67. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
  68. “It was all a lie.”
  69. “I never loved you, and I never will.”
  70. “Don’t try to beg. It won’t work.”
  71. “You’re not worth the mud on the bottom of my shoes.”
  72. “Look at you. You’re pathetic. I’ve never seen a sadder sight.”
  73. “I’m going to hurt you slowly, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
  74. “For what you did to them, I’ll do the same to you.”
  75. “An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”
  76. “You’re everything I hate in a person.”
  77. “I wish you were dead.”
  78. “You’re nothing to me. Less than nothing!”
  79. “What a sad sack of shit you are.”
  80. “My life is in fucking shambles thanks to you!”
  81. “How could you? You bastard!”
  82. “I’d rather eat sewage than ever touch you again.”
  83. “Hey asshole, I’m here to ruin your day, just like I did yesterday and the day before that.”
  84. “You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive.”
  85. “Hey, it’s my least favorite waste of space.”
  86. “Every day that I woke up next to you, I was tempted to smother you with a pillow while you slept.”
  87. “Love you? Don’t make me laugh.”
  88. “Just thinking about you makes me sick to my stomach.”
  89. “You deserve a slow and painful death for what you’ve done.”
  90. “I can’t stand people like you.”
  91. “Stop doing that thing. You know, that thing I hate. Breathing.”
  92. “If I could trade you for a nest of angry wasps, you would be long gone.”
  93. “I can’t wait to dance on your grave.”
  94. “If we were the last two people on earth, I’d be subtracting one.”
  95. “I never want to see the likes of your filth around here again.”
  96. “I’m disgusted by you.”
  97. “Fuck you!”
  98. “If I ever see you again, it will be far too soon.”
  99. “I have three words for you: Burn. In. Hell.”
  100. “I hate you.”
I am so tired. I am so tired. Of this weary heart, I hold inside of my chest every single day. My soul is filled with ecstasy but my heart remains an everlasting museum of moments that should no longer matter to me. And every day, I hear it quietly whispering to me, knocking on the insides of my being, softly, softly. It wants to know if I am ready, if I am ready now. And I hear the innocence - the understanding in its voice. My heart knows. Every night I hear it silently drowning in cascades of tears, of mourning, of hope for something better. Finally, something better. And every day when my heart asks me, softly, softly… my soul tries to find the might to give the right answer. And for all its power, its courage, its love, and passion, and wisdom, my soul cannot fix my heart.
I am not scared. Pain does not scare me. My heart will not be broken forever. I am just tired. I am just tired, for my heart - my heart sees you, and you only.
—  vellichxxr 
The signs as song lyrics I've written

Aries:
Never been in a fight but I want to fight
Fight a bitch at night
The dark is cool
Fuck school
Wanna destroy everything
Including you

Taurus:
Just woke up messy hair
Attitude I don’t care
Should i even get up and start the day
Does it matter if i do shit anyway

Gemini:
Thought, thought, thought,
I thought if I thought a lot
Maybe my thoughts could learn to stop
I feel my brain beginning to rot
They are so fucking loud
Overcrowd
All around
Up and down
I’m starting to look like a fucking clown

Cancer:
What am I feeling right now?
I feel like a drifting cloud
Full of storm water
Today rain is all I’ve got to offer
What’s wrong with me?
Changing tides like the sea
I can be a deadly storm
A catastrophe
Or calm and cool, my bottom lurking with things unseen

Leo:
I love the way you fuck me 
Baby this is how you want me, thirsty 
I beg love me love me 
Love me more than i love you 
At night i feel so ugly

Virgo:
But not you, youre alive not dead
I hear all the voices that go on it your head
They never calm but you find peace in them
Taking their words of wisdom
They sing inside your lovely mind
You hum along, intertwined

Libra:
I’m sitting in front of the man of my dreams
Love his dick, give me that cream
His face is amazing, it makes me want to sing
His voice is as lovely spring

Scorpio:
Sometimes I think I see god
But then I open my eyes and it’s the same shit all around
Breath in the toxins of a cigarette
It’s all I got sometimes, wanna drown out the sound
Talk to a few and that’s fun
But real quick im done

Sagittarius:
If I could see your soul, I’m sure it’d be a work of art
Like a painting on a canvas, painted by the heart
You know you’re a masterpiece
A genius in disguise
I wish I could see what you see through your eyes

Capricorn:
If there’s one last thing
I gotta sing
it’s that there’s no possibly
Just possible I am the unstoppable
Incomparable hear these words and know it’s me
I do not go unseen
(This one’s written by my boyfriend)

Aquarius:
I’m so tired everyday
I want life to be so extraordinary that more than half the time I wouldnt know what to feel or say
Wheres my burning passion?
Melancholy, my minds gray.
Why care when you feel useless why give a fuck, this world is strange

Pisces:
You got me and you got me down for you and you only
Baby, look at me, I want you to be the one to own me
Devil or angel, you’re my sweet, lovely baby.
Tell me angel, have you looked in a mirror lately?

so for now, it hurts
my bones still crack under the weight of my heavy heart and my eyes still well up with tears when i think of your lips on hers
i don’t think a day has gone by since you left where i haven’t felt completely fucking broken, destroyed, left for dead and drowning in the pain that you caused
it’s hard to think of your smile and your laugh and your voice and try to accept that they’re not mine to hear and cherish anymore
and i think part of me will always feel like this
i will always feel sick when i hear her name and i will never get rid of our photos and i will wish you were there waiting for me at the end of the aisle and i will wish we would have grown old together and i will wish and i will wish and i will wish
but one thing i’ve learned from being without you is that i can wish my life away and it will never get you to come back and i will never get to hold your hand again and i will never be able to get lost in your eyes again
and the thing that horrifies me is that i know i will never be able to forget you because you’ve never given me a reason to hate you and i wish that you had because at least things would be easier
—  a love i never wanted to lose, pt. 1
Don’t Freak IV

Originally posted by barrys

Steve Harrington x Reader

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART V

Requests are OPEN


I guess I lost it before I even had it,” That was the last thing Steve said when they got to his car.  It echoed in Y/N’s head the whole trip home. Then she got to thinking what life with Steve could’ve been like. All the things she did with Jonathan, she imagined doing with Steve, then she imagined more intimate moments like stolen kisses, affectionate hugs and cuddling. She shook her head and turned the volume up to the radio, hoping whatever was playing would drown out the less than sane thoughts going through her head.

After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows you’re wondering if I’m okay
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

If you’re lost you can look and you will find me
Time after-

Y/N’s hand slammed on the radio, silencing Cyndi Lauper, then covered her mouth as a sob escaped. Every emotion she felt with Steve in the car finally made its way out. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, but it just seemed to make things worse.

Y/N parked her car next to her mother’s in the driveway and sat. She turned the key to shut the ignition off, then rested her forehead against the wheel and cried.

She didn’t know what time it was by the time she gathered herself up and trudged into the house. All of the lights were off and the house was silent. Y/N kicked her shoes off on the side mat and hung up her keys.

Y/N walked as quietly as she could down the hall to her room and silently shut the door. She flipped the light switch on and looked at the alarm clock on her nightstand. It was after midnight.

Keep reading

To be young

Title: To be young

Pairing: Reader x Peter Parker

Summary: Y/N has lived next to Peter since the 3rd grade and since has fallen hard for him, but Y/N doesn’t know he’s fallen just as hard. 

Word count: 2,145

Songs: Midnight City by M83, Uh huh by Julia Michaels

A/N: This is my first Imagine ever so I’m sorry for the grammar mistakes and if i messed up the point of view a little bit, I’m practicing and heres my first go at it! I hope you guys enjoy it! Also its not a concrete idea yet but i might make more parts to this 



  “Hey, MJ does Peter ever talk about me?” you ask staring across the lunch room at the boy you’ve had a crush on ever since you laid eyes on him in the 3rd grade. You hear Michelle sigh and close her book “Y/N just go over there and talk to him.” your eyes widen at your best friend for suggesting such a thing. “I can’t just go over there and talk to him without cause, plus..” you sigh sinking further into your seat at the lunch table “he likes Liz, remember?” Just before Michelle can get a word in about your lack of confidence towards guys, the bell rings signaling the end of lunch and beginning of the five minuet passing period to the next class.

You quickly gather your things heading out of the lunchroom and to your next class, gym.

“Hey, Y/N wait up!” you hear the familiar voice of Liz speak as everyone makes their way out of the locker rooms and into the main gym. You falter in your walk just a little hearing Liz say your name, you haven’t ever really been friends or even acquaintances with her since knowing that Peter has a crush on the girl. “Yes?” you smile as she slows her pace next to you “I’m having a party tomorrow night at my place, do you wanna come?” your mind goes blank for a minuet, Liz is asking me to her party? what? “I already asked Michelle if she could come and she said you were free so i thought i’d ask.” Liz practically read your mind, so Michelle is to blame, she’s gonna pay. “Yea, sure I’ll come, it sounds fun.” She smiles before she runs off ahead of you. “Hey Flash,” You hear her shout before she vanishes into the crowd of teenagers.

“Alright, well i think he’s a war criminal now but these are state required so lets get to work .” The gym teacher spoke after the video of Captain America ended waving his hand for everyone to get down from the bleachers and take their places on the mats.

You finally spot Michelle in the crowd of teenagers and grabbed ahold of her arm before she could lay on a mat. “Hey could we be partners?” You ask letting go of your bestie laying on the mat, “Mind if we take this mat next to you guys?” A voice that made your heartstrings tingle spoke, you quickly turn your head to see Peter laying down and getting ready to go his first sit-up. “No-not at all.” you blush and turn on your other side to come face to face with a book “Michelle” You groan louder than intended, “We’re suppose to be doing sit-ups.” You grab the book tilting it away from her face, Michelle sighs and turns on her back pushing her book up and down from her face “There happy, I’m exercising now.” She mumbled making you laugh slightly.

“Hey what about Spider-Man?” You sit up and whip your head around to the bleachers where a certain group of popular girls were sitting, “What about him Liz? You got a crush?” a friend of hers teased, “Well I mean yes he’s pretty hot but he’s also a hero you can’t leave him out.” You could see a slight pink shade her cheeks after she spoke.

“Hey, uh Peter knows Spider-Man!” Ned practically yelled from the mat next to you, what? how does Peter know Spider-Man? I mean maybe he got saved by him? But what? You were pulled from your thoughts when Peter spoke, “Well Uh  we-wel yes i do, because of the Stark internship i have but i’m not suppose to talk about it.” Peter spoke through gritted teeth when he ended his sentence. “Wait Penis Parker knows Spider-Man? And has a Stark internship? Wow this is too good, what other lies ya got?” Flash finally joined the conversation. You sighed and turned your attention back to laying down and staring at the ceiling till the end of the period.

“Well if you know him so well why don’t you invite him to Liz’s party tomorrow night?” Flash asked sarcasm clear in his voice, “Wait-wait Liz is having a party?” You perked up again at the sound of Peter’s slightly hurt voice. “Yeah, tomorrow night, my parents are out of town, you and Ned are more than welcome to come and you don’t gotta bring Spider-Man.” You could practically hear the smile in Peters voice when he replied “No-No yeah I’d love to come.” You rolled your eyes and tried to drown out the rest of the conversation.

“Okay, see ya tomorrow.” Liz spoke before the bell rang, finally. You make your way back to the locker room and change out of the gym uniform and into your regular clothes.

Well tomorrow night should be interesting, I wonder if Peter really knows Spider-Man you smile at the thought, that’d be fucking awesome.

Michelle and you took the bus together after school planning on having a sleepover and carpooling to Liz’s party the next day. “I can’t believe you already said i would go without asking me.” you lightly punch Michelle on the arm while getting ready for bed. “Hey what better things do you have going on tomorrow, staring at peter though the peep hole of your apartment again?” Michelle teased, you gasped and placed your hand on your heart pretending to be hurt by the comment. “Michelle that is an important activity and I cannot miss it.” You dramatically said and plopped down onto your bed for the night, the couch. Michelle and you always sleep on her couch for sleepovers, its big enough and comfy as hell.

“Oh whatever Y/N.” she groaned taking her place on the couch and turning on the tv. Within minuets your eyes start to get heavy, you finally give into the sleep tugging at you and fall asleep.


“Thanks for the ride!” you shout at Michelle’s dad before Michelle slams the car door shut. MJ and you start towards the front door already hearing the loud music coming from inside. “Michelle are you sure about this?” You ask grabbing her arm forcing her to stop and look at you “Look Y/N, when are you ever gonna do something like this ever again. Plus, its all apart of the high school experience.” She shrugged making her way to the front door and inside with you trailing behind her.

You were immediately greeted by Liz and shown the way to the kitchen “incase you need something to drink” Liz told you leaving you and focused her attention back onto the party. “Ok so now I Just wait for something to happen?” you spoke to yourself as you grabbed a red solo cup and filled it with water from the fridge. You made your way out of the kitchen and to the couch in the living room, where did MJ go? I’m like the only other person besides Liz she knows here so where - your thoughts were interrupted when your eyes met with the chocolatey eyes of the boy you’ve been waiting for all night.

You smile towards Peter earning a grin back from him before his attention was sent somewhere else, probably Flash shouting “wheres your friend Spider-man? I don’t see him..” You rolled your eyes and made your way over to the duo standing in the middle of the hallway, “Hey hey guys,” you nervously spoke “Finally made it.” you smiled over at Ned, his attention on the rest of the party and not you. “Yeah we got-” Peter got interrupted by a shout from the family room “If you wanna play a game come to the family room now!” you felt a hand wrap around your arm before you could protest you were in the family room seated next to Liz, Peter diagonally across from you with ned next to him and Michelle on your other side.

“Alright,” you heard Liz speak next to you “what game should we play.” a couple of hands flew up in the air and some people shouted suggestions. “How about Seven Minuets In Heaven?!” one voice shouted louder than the others, you looked over at Liz to see she was already ginning with a bottle being handed to her. “Seven Minuets In Heaven it is.” She quickly snapped her head over at you “Y/N, you spin first.” she shoved the bottle into your hand.

“No-no I’m really fine-” you didnt get to finish when you felt a sharp pain in your side from Michelle, your head spun to her side giving her a “what the hell!” look and receiving a shrug in response. You sucked in a breath, all apart of the high school experience right? you tried to reason with yourself. You put the bottle on its side on the ground and spun it, your heat begins beating faster and faster as it comes to a slow down. The bottle finally comes to a stop and your eyes rake up to where it landed, Peter Parker.

You gulped waiting for his reaction as people around him whopped for him but he just sat there eyes wide. “come one you too!” Liz sounded so gleeful and lightly shoved my shoulder for me to get up. Peter must’ve took that as a hint as well and stood up “Wher-uh What closet should we go to?” Peter asked clearing his voice. “the one right at the top of the stairs, we’ll make sure no one goes in.” Liz smiled at Peter and you while you made your way up the stairs. Oh god, what am i going to do, what if he doesn’t want to do anything with me? what if he kisses me and I’m not a good kisser or my breathe stinks- you were ripped out of your thoughts as the closet door was closed and Peter and you were left in the dark.

“uh we-we don’t have to do anything.” you whispered barely audible as you watched Peter set a timer on his phone for seven minuets. “Wh-why don’t we ask each other questions?” Peter asked making a blush creep onto your face, thank god this closet is dark and peters phone light is horrible. “sure-e” you nervously stutter, “you first.” you poke his chest earning a small laugh from him. “Okay, is it true that you have a 4.0 grade average?” You couldn’t help the laugh that  escaped your lips, “What?” Peter asked you could hear the confusion in his voice, “thats the question you wanna ask?” you placed your hand on Peters arm, what am I doing? I’m movign way too fast, “Is that bad?” Peter moved closer to you making you back up into the wall of the closet, your smile fading and a deeper bush replacing it. “uh-no no, I’d just rather not answer it.” You spoke truthfully, “alright,” you could see the smile form on peters face as he inched closer to you.

“your turn.” he whispered making your breath hitch in your throat, he’s so close, if i just move forward slightly i’d finally have my first kiss and with the guy of my dreams, you thought. “you got a question yet?” Peters smile started fading looking into your eyes, “uh- yes, did you really make your own computer?” your eyes scanned peters, he’s so close you can see his beautiful brown ombre iris’s, dark brown to a slightly lighter brown. Your breath hitched in your throat again as Peter flashed his eyes down to your lips for a split second. You start to lean into him, closer and closer to his face when your lips just barely graze each other and then Peters phone goes off.

He jumped back slightly from the sudden noise and looked down at his phone, “Has it already been seven minuets?” You laugh slightly feeling embarrassed for getting so intimate with Peter. “No..” he paused looking up from his phone and into your eyes “But i gotta, I’m really sorry Y/N, I gotta go.” He shook his head slightly before opening the closet and leaving you behind. you stood there shocked, not able to move. Peter and I almost kissed was all you could think as a deep blush crept back onto your face.

You exited the closet and went to see if you could find him at the party anywhere. you got a few weird looks after asking some people if they saw him anywhere but no one could help, not even Ned knew where Peter went.

“Well it’s too bad, we didn’t even get to see his ‘friend’ Spider-Man.” Flash spoke sarcastically to you, you just turned around to go look for MJ and tell her about what had happened, how you almost kissed your life long crush and how he almost kissed you back.

I Own You

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Words: 2500

Warnings: NSFW (smut!)

A/N: Since I’m back on tumblr, I decided to repost some of my old work and fanfics! Hope you enjoy! 

Originally posted by rosamundamuddyfoot



A dull headache was the first thing that woke you up. You blinked few times to clear your sight and look at the empty side next to you.

Turning around you noticed that the sheets were a pure mess and then you noticed that it was 2 p.m.

“Ah, great!” you groaned and then pulled to covers to the side.

You were naked and probably got awfully drunk last night.

Then it hit you. You had a fight with the god of mischief before you let tequila possess you.

Keep reading

believememylove  asked:

Please, I love when you write for Jack Wilder. Also I just rewatched both of the Now you see me movies and am dying for new stuff

WELL SINCE YOU SAID PLEASE. Basing this off of one of my earlier headcanons!

Imagine Jack just listening to you talk, and before you know it, he’s mastered your voice and he uses it when he’s playing around and mocks you.

Title: Voices.
Pairing: Jack Wilder x Reader.
Words: 1069.
Rating: T.


“I’m just saying,” Jack stated rather proudly with a cocky grin that tilted to the left side. His dimple showed itself momentarily and left a warm feeling flutter in your chest as it always had a way of melting even the coldest of hearts. “Imitating voices are easy. I could teach you, if you wanted.” With a flick of his wrist, he sent the deck of cards resting in his hands into a frenzy before relaxing them once again. His fingers continued to tap against them. Being stuck in one place, in what would be considered ‘intense hiding’ was doing absolutely nothing for his restlessness. Sitting in an armchair, his legs dangling over the side with the occasional kick of his feet in a sporadic rhythm. He held himself with such a casual confidence it left you feeling vaguely jealous and wondering as to how he accomplished such a slacked appearance.

Jack gazed up at you with deep brown eyes. The sun sunk through the window across from where he was sitting, accentuating the curves of his face and lightning his eyes so they appeared a shade or two lighter than they actually were. His eyelashes framed his eyes and seemed to be on fire as the sunlight dripped onto his skin. Jack’s eyes spoke many things at once but the most prominent emotion happened to be on the more mischievous side. He flicked his wrist once again and the rapid movement of the deck of cards brought you back into reality, away from the seemingly inevitable daydream sitting across from you. “Have you really heard my voice enough to imitate me?” You finally inquired moments after being mesmerized by him.

Jack’s face faltered for a moment as he thought about it, that once beautiful smirk dipping into a slight frown before turning into a full on smile. It was a dramatic change of facial expressions which was something he was also good at executing. A soft chuckle left his parted lips and with a gentle clearing of his throat, he began speaking. “Yeah, I’d like to think I listen to you. Even when you don’t know it.”

“What do you mean?” You laughed quietly, fixing your eyes on the cards on his hands. “Even when I don’t know it?”

“Yesterday,” He used as an example, “when you were talking to Danny in the kitchen. You were complaining. I’m glad you were, I wasn’t sure what you would have sounded like when complaining. Even when you complain to me, it sounds different.”

Raising your eyebrows in amusement, you smiled and asked, “What do I sound like when I’m complaining?”

Your request seemed to amuse him as he brought his legs down and propped himself properly on the armchair. His shirt rode up for a few seconds with his movement, catching your eyes. Resting his hands on his thighs, Jack leaned forward and shot a more heated grin at you this time. You caught his eyes this time and kept them locked before Jack opened his mouth. He laughed while you expecting to hear him speak. Biting down on his bottom lip, Jack’s smile twirled into a childish expression. “I can’t do it with you staring at me like that. So much pressure.”

He was playing around, you could tell from the tone of voice he had used. Slightly raised and a bit more frantic. “Please.” You laughed your plea and covered your mouth.

Jack laughed as well, looking to the side before clearing his throat once again. “Please.” The sound that came out of his mouth was one that sounded exactly like you did. As strange as it was as well, Jack had moved his face in a gesture that mimicked your expressions..

“I don’t sound like that, do I?” You gasped, throwing your head back in a chuckle.

“I don’t sound like that, do I?” Jack’s voice dipped back to normal at the end of the sentence. He couldn’t control himself from laughing. “You really do sound like that.”

“How awful.” You grimaced playfully.

“Awful?” Jack’s face scrunched into disbelief. “I think you sound cute. Trust me (Name), I spend my nights sitting in bed trying to talk like you, but for the longest time I couldn’t get it just right.” Jack stood up, resting the deck of cards on the table in the middle of the living room. He took a few steps towards you, his heavy boots pattering against the floor as he did. There was no logical sense in being dressed with when you were in hiding, but still Jack found himself getting up and getting ready. It was a precautionary thing, he told you once, you always have to be ready to run. “There’s just something about your voice that I can’t seem to grasp.”

“Maybe you didn’t practice enough.” You teased.

“Nah.” He shrugged his slender shoulders and sat next to you on the loveseat. Gesturing with his hands, he rolled his hand from his throat to you and admitted, “Your voice has a quality that I can’t imitate just right. I guess I love you too much, so it makes it hard to imitate that sort of emotion.” This was something you knew but hearing him say it was something that left you feeling weak in the knees. You were thankful you were sitting because you were sure if you were standing you would have fallen completely. Jack seemed a bit more bashful now as he let that be said. His cheeks held a soft pink color and his eyes were staring straight forward.

It was your turn to shrug your shoulders as you fiddled with your fingers, “Why would that matter?”

“Because I like the way your voice sounds when you speak.” He turned his attention to you finally, his dark brown eyes drowning into yours. His body leaned towards you, “I like the way you talk to me. You don’t talk to anyone else they same way.”

Smiling cutely, you brushed two fingers across his right eyebrow before dropping them down his cheek, “That’s because I love you too much.”

Jack nodded and bit his bottom lip while tipping his head towards your fingers, “You can copy my phrases but you still sound nothing like me.”

“I don’t want to sound like you.” You admitted, “I don’t want anyone to sound like you, Jack. I love the way you sound…”


I’M BACK GUYS. Reblogs and likes are appreciated! Hope you liked!

13.01 Coda - Dream of Me

So… as if the actually episode wasn’t painful enough, I went ahead and wrote a coda for it - enjoy :)

It was dark in Dean’s room. The lights had long since been dimmed, the bed sheets pulled up to the hunter’s shoulders, and empty bottles scattered across the floor.

Dean’s doesn’t remember going to bed, but everything is how it should be. His door is closed, the room utterly silent with nothing to hear but the sound of his breathing; slow, tired, and heavy. He can’t remember why his room was littered with discarded glass, all he knew is that their reflective surfaces glinted back at him, watching with a pitiful glow through their clear eyes.

Dean closed his eyes, turning away from their stares, but the glow still shone through his lids — it was too bright, too painful. He rolled over onto his side, forcing his face against the pillow.

Still too bright.

Fine. He would ignore it.

But he couldn’t fall asleep, everything was right but, something was wrong, something was… missing. What was it? Feathers, a coat, a tie…

Aw yes. He remembered now.

Castiel.

Dean buried himself further into the sheets, his brow furrowing as he forced himself not to think. He didn’t need this — he didn’t need any of this. He just needed one thing, and he could never have it.

Stop. Go to sleep.

Sleep came painfully slow, his mind fading in small increments until the dark finally enveloped him, pulled him into the lulling void.

Then felt it, a dip in his bed.

“Dean.” The voice made him freeze, the soft gravel tone pinning him to his bed. “Dean,” the voice moved closer, brushing the sheets and leaning over him.

Dean kept his eyes shut, breathing deeply — in and out, as was his routine. “You’re not real…” he murmured.

“Dean,” it was quiet this time, a warmth creeping up the back of his neck, dangerously close. A hand touched his face, “Dean, please look at me.”

“No, you’re not real.” The hand moved to stroke his cheek. Dean tensed at the sensation, gritting his teeth and willing it to go away.

“Stop.”

“Dean.”

“Stop it.”

“But —”

“You’re not real!”

Hands grabbed his wrists and Dean instinctively fought against them.

“No!”

“But Dean I need to tell you!”

“No!!!” Dean could feel the tears burning behind his closed eyelids. “Stop!!” He shouted, he screamed, but the hands wouldn’t let go.

He wanted to open his eyes, wanted to see Cas kneeling over him, but he knew he couldn’t.

“Dean —” the hands tightened painfully.

“CAS STOP!” The light brightened, blinding him even without seeing. He opened his eyes.

Dean was shaking, his body covered in sweat as he took heavy breaths. He blinked. The hands were still wrapped around his wrists, white at the knuckles and stronger than should be humanly possible. Dean looked up.

Jack stared at Dean in the darkness, unblinking golden eyes set upon him. Dean didn’t breathe, staying stock still like a deer staring down a lion. He flinched when the nephilim moved, slowly releasing his grip.

Dean straightened abruptly, climbing up and away from the half angel. When he realized the wetness on his cheeks he hastily wiped them away.

Dean managed to calm down enough to stare back at the nephilim, who had settled on the bed, a safe distance away from him. Jack wore the same expression that had been plastered on his face since the day he was born; a furrowed brow, knit with confusion, and wonder. Dean just stared.

The nephilim looked down at his hands, flexing his still new fingers, watching the skin stretch and retract; a cat examining its claws.

“I heard you,” he said, the room echoing with his words. “You seem distressed, I thought I could help.”

Dean swallowed, words still unwilling to aid him. Jack’s face hardened, the set line of his mouth sliding downward. “You called my father’s name. Why?”

Dean scanned his face, the genuine curiosity suggesting no ill will. But how could he trust the son of a snake, a killer waiting to discover its true nature? He tried to open his mouth, but it felt like sandpaper.

At Dean’s silence, the nephilim spoke again, “Did you — care for my father?”

Dean wet his lips. “Yes,” he managed to squeeze out the word.

“Did you — love him?”

“What?” the automatic reply sounded natural, but Dean could feel his stomach churn.

“Sam has told me about love, that it is the reason I am here,” the nephilim continued to examine his fingers. “My mother loved me, and so did my father. They died for me,” Jack paused, “But Sam also said that love can be very painful, that’s why I feel sad — why I feel… guilty. I am the reason my parents are dead.” Jack’s face fell, looking up at Dean with wide eyes.

“Is that what you feel?”

Dean opened his mouth, swallowing past the lump in his throat, “It’s not the same,” he said, watching the nephilim carefully.

“It’s not?” Jack tilted his head, sending a painful pang through Dean’s heart.

“I — I still feel those things… but,” Dean turned away, “but, pain is different. There’s many types of pain.”

“Sam has not told me of this.”

“Because we’re going through it. It’d be like putting salt in an open wounds,” Dean mumbled into his palms, letting his face rest in his hands.

“That sounds rather unpleasant.”

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle, a soft, dry laugh that shook his frame, “Yeah, yeah it is.”

They were both silent for a while, Jack awkwardly examining the blanket while Dean’s eyes stared blankly at the wall. Dean sighed.

“Yes,” Dean’s gruff words rolled smoothly now.

“Yes what?” Jack asked.

“Yes, I loved your… father.”

Dean could hear the smile that spread on the nephilim’s face. Dean frowned at him.

“Father loved you too,” he said with excitement, “His thoughts were very clear, it makes me… happy to know that you felt the same. I’m sure he would be too.” Jack stood up, his smile fading as he looked back at Dean. “I hope you sleep better now, I myself need some rest,” Jack reached for the door, almost touching the handle when he stopped, “I’m sorry.” He sounded uncertain.

“For what?” Dean asked, the sudden change taking him by surprise.

Jack turned around, sadness and guilt softening his features, “For killing the man you loved.”

Dean stared in shock as Jack walked out of the room, closing the door noiselessly and leaving the hunter once again with his company of glass. Dean sat in silence, the strange conversation replaying in his mind.

Jack’s words clung to his brain like honey to a hive, settling deeper and deeper until it finally stuck.

The man you loved.

Dean’s mouth was dry, his eyes suddenly wet. No, no more. Please, he begged.

You loved…

“You loved him,” Dean grit through his bitter tears, the mess streaming down his face, “You loved him, you fucking coward.” He tried to swallow it down, accept the consequence of his idiocy and move on.

But a voice whispered in his ear, breath hot on his face, a phantom kiss, “You loved me.”

“I loved you,” Dean agreed.

Dean lay back down on his bed, burying his head once again in the pillows, letting his sleep drown him in fantasy. When the dreams returned and he felt Cas’s hands on him, he let himself be touched, let the dream say the words he so desperately needed to hear. But he kept his eyes closed, he kept himself in the dark. It was still too painful, too close to what could’ve been — and always would be.

AO3

I AM SO INTO THIS SHIT YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I tried to make them kinda different, but in the end they still wound up pretty similar, Please Forgive.

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Don't Repeat History

I couldn’t help myself ;u;

Important stuff:

Ok, I’m done. I did this like, in half and hour and stuff so it’s pretty simple but yeah. *Shrugs* 

Disclaimer: Voltron doesn’t belong to me and neither does the AU.


The words leave him before he could stop himself.

“This is the Blue Lion?” He asks, voice small as he stares up at the big lion in front of him, something inside him urging him to come closer but he pushes it back stubbornly.

Allura nods besides him, a pleased smile on her face. “Yes, you used to be her paladin. The Blue Lion is known to be one of the friendliest of Lions; your bond with her has been so strong since the beginning, never wavering in the least. It is said that –”

Lance tunes Allura’s voice down, leaving behind a faint ringing noise in his ears as he stares wide eyed at Blue’s motionless eyes.

He feels a tug inside him one more time and this time he winces, feeling it more physically than mental.

The ringing turns into purrs and soft growling and Lance breathing come out short as he watches Blue’s dim eyes lighten up with life.

One, two, three ticks and then it’s like Blue’s eyes snap open and images fill his head.

He can’t make sense of anything. The faces are blurred, the noises that start as laughter turn into painful screams and sobs. Every feeling overwhelms him: there’s anxiety, excitement, stubbornness, determination, pride, love.

There’s relief. There’s a soft comfort feeling in the back of his head but it’s not enough to calm his breathing, to ease his tense shoulder and beating heart.

Lance vaguely notices that he started shaking, barely hearing the muffled drowned voice of Allura near him, calling to him, asking for him.

He doesn’t understand the words, but he doesn’t bothers to. He just needs to go, there’s too much around him and inside him. He can’t be here, he can’t deal with this, he needs to leave.

He needs to leave.

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lucky ; lty

taeyong doesn’t think anything can surprise him anymore, but he stands corrected when his new stylist steals his heart from right under his nose.

pairing: taeyong x reader / word count 7k

genre: makeup artist!o/c, idol verse, tooth rotting fluff, i am trash pass it on

– tagging @workofteaguk for accompanying me through the ride of falling for lee taeyong. lov u tractor!

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EXO scenarios: saying first “I love you” (ot9)

Extra fluff below! | SHINee version

Originally posted by xiuminet

Kim Minseok/Xiumin

 It was late at night when the two of you found yourself walking down the street. His hand held strongly to yours, fingers laced. Winter was mild that year, so you were worried that snow wouldn’t fall. That’s why you and Minseok went out every night. You didn’t want to miss it.

 Finally it started to snow one evening. Minseok was so excited that he started to dance in the middle of the street. One of his hands pulled you to join him as the other one was pointing at the sky.

“Look (y/n)! It’s finally snowing! Can you see it?”

“Yeah, I can. You’re going to tear off my arm Minseok!” you laughed at his cuteness while struggling to keep your balance.

“Sorry!” he stopped moving his hand but kept yours in it. “But it’s the first snow! I hope it stays for longer with us!”

 You agreed and pulled him close to you so you two could hug while watching snowflakes fall.

“You know why I’m so excited?”

“Because it’s the first snow?”

“No, it’s the first snow we get to experience together.” a soft aww left your lips at his cheesiness . “You know that if you say I love you during the first fall of snow your love will become ethereal?”

“You just made that up!” you laughed, punching him lightly.

“Yeah, but you never know! Maybe nobody found out about it yet!”

“Okay then.” you turned to face him fully. “I love you Minseok.”

 His smile went even wider (if it’s possible) and he placed his hands on your cheeks to squeeze them.

“I love you too (y/n)!”

Originally posted by suhomysuho

Kim Junmyeon/Suho

“What are you doing?” he asked averting his gaze shyly when he noticed you filming him.

 His hands rested on the pages that he was reading a few seconds before. Fingers held gracefully red pen to write additional notes. He looked adorable in his glasses.

“It’s for the future generations. The documentary about species known as actors. Here we have specimen Kim Junmyeon in his natural habitat.” you giggled and continued recording the close-up on his face.

 Young man smiled at that and returned to memorizing his script. But then one thing hit him. Your words meant that you were thinking about him as part of your future. You were putting him in your plans. That meant much more to him than he could imagine. He looked up at you with sweet smile. Words were never so important in your relationship, but he felt the need to tell you.

“I love you.”

 Your eyes went wide at that, looking up from the small screen of your phone. His gaze was so full of love and warmth that it could probably melt an iceberg. He pulled you closer by your hand to kiss your shoulder and returned to his work, not really waiting for you to say it back.

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bookie-wookiee  asked:

I have a burning question. Do you think Belle and Adam are okay during the French Revolution? If we assume the BATB story takes place mid-1700s they'll be in their 60s during the revolution. I just need them to be fine!

I’m such a horrible person for not replying to this sooner. I’m so sorry! Hope you didn’t burn up in anticipation :/

Here are my thoughts on the subject:

It is, in the end, a Disney movie, and we all know what that means for historical accuracy. Do I think the writers imagined Belle and Adam being executed during the French Revolution? No. Because it’s Disney. As for my personal headcanon, that depends on whether or not Adam is THE Prince or simply A prince (as in the noble title Prince from the time period). Personally, I’d like to think he’s not a royal, but only a nobleman. Evidence of this is the fact that his father is dead and he’s above age to take the throne (in the 2017 adaptation at least) when he’s cursed, and yet everyone still calls him Prince. If he were a royal he’d be King. He’d also be living in Versailles, but that’s another story.

So if Prince = nobleman (and not royal) that means they’re not as likely to die as they would be otherwise. I also consider Villeneuve and the surrounding towns to be small enough for their little society in “the hidden heart of France” that the smallfolk wouldn’t be able to gather strong enough forces to take the castle. Nor do I think they’d want to since most of the villagers have family that work at the castle that have grown close to both Adam and Belle. Belle was also a commoner before she married Adam so that has to be taken into account as well. I also imagine that because of all of this (and the curse) Belle and Adam are very generous rulers and they host a few balls/parties at the castle for the villagers and commoners, so I think the people in the area are living a good life and they’re close enough with Belle and Adam to not want to harm them. And if there are people who would, then I can’t imagine there’d be too many of them and pretty soon their voices would drown out.

Worst case scenario is that the commoners do indeed storm the castle. In that case I imagine the servants would hear about it and warn them and Belle and Adam would run away into the countryside and hide their noble blood by living the rest of their lives as commoners, or perhaps live in exile in England or another nearby country.

Hope that answered your burning question! Again, so sorry for taking so much time to answer this. If it took too long, might I suggest a nice dose of aloe vera for the burns? (that was so tacky I’m sorry)

All the best from me

Originally posted by liomessis

Hummingbird Heartbeat

Pairing; Finn Balor x Reader

Summary: Finn’s been in a fully committed relationship with wrestling and no one else. He thinks it’s going to be that way forever until Becky throws a birthday party and invites her incredibly cute cousin. 

Warnings: Language and Fluff.  

Word Count: 6,154

**************************************

The incessant honking from the car parked in his driveway continued to blare throughout the neighborhood even after he was stumbling out the front door, still trying to slip his Vans on. 

It would have been one thing if he wasn’t late already - having lost track of time at the gym - but now Sami and Ben seemed to just be adding emphasis to their feelings about his lack of socializing outside of work; the longer the car horn blared, the more time the two of his friends would probably spend on expressing their opinions about Finn’s need to go out and be more social. 

“Well it’s about damn time” Sami shouts from the driver’s seat, “thought you were just going to hide out in your bedroom and ignore us until we drove away… again.”

“Sorry, sorry. Lost track of time, I was helping Matt train some of the newcomers at the performance center,” Finn huffs, running to the backseat and sliding in. 

Ben turns around in the passenger seat and looks at him, “You ever gonna give yourself a break man? You were never hired to be a trainer.”

“I know that, Matt just really appreciates the help sometimes.”

Sami speaks up next, cranking the ignition and peeling out the driveway, “Yeah, but you need to get a life man, when’s the last time you did something that didn’t involve wrestling”

The question is answered with silence, because Finn really can’t remember the last time he did something unrelated to work, and he hates himself for that. It’s not like he’s intentionally cut himself off from the social world, he’s just always wanted to be the best. 

No one becomes the best if they don’t work at it twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. 

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To Build A Home - Chapter 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Thank you for all your lovely comments. You guys are impossibly the sweetest!

Let me know if these constant updates are annoying, too. Are you liking them or are you just thinking “dude, can you give us a day or two to catch up on this story?” I don’t want to just bombard you guys with chapters if you hate it.

Also, YES, before you ask, I do love pizza….. Probably more than Virgil.

WARNINGS: Anxiety attack, references to child abuse, very negative thoughts, let me know if anything else needs to be added.

Tag list: (want to be added/removed? Send an ask! Sorry if I missed you.) @abstractedthinking (don’t worry about my health, dear. I’m going for a nap right now!) @tinysidestrashcaptain @toxicsanders @that-space-gay-writes @maya-tl @yep-another-fander @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @thisisthepumpkinqueen @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @treehouseart @pantasticpanini @hanramz-the-fander @cleverly-logan @emo-space-trash @cefmua56 @aikogumi @the-sides-of-patton @ilove-mydarkstrangeson @helloisthisusernametaken @cinnamonrollpatton @randomslasher @redundant-statements-for-400 @2manyfandoms2count-love @ravenclaweq @amityravenclawelf @cinquefoilelove @princeyssash @storytellerofuntoldlegends @cosmic-melodies @giraffeanimal @atomicengineerdetective @analogicalisreal
@celiawhatsherlastname @twinkly-lights @notallpotatoesarefrenchfries @greymane902 @kittyboof8 @poisonlyra @just-a-gay-trans-kid @thatcraxygirl15 @undertakershairline @penstarz96 @migraine-marathon @xxrosethehumanxx @destielsabriellover @alyssadashrub @nyxwordsmith @virgilsspidercurtains @loverofpizzaandallthingssweet @scouttheoneandonly @carrotflowerking17 @slowtownsanders @littleoptimistme @coffee-spice @toomuchstuffnotenoughcreativity @justanotherpurplebutterfly @spillingspells @imthemayan @shadowjag @mydogsaresofuckingstupid @alzac-saber @memelovingsun @tripleaaaqueer @thilb0burrit0 @docetuga @brieflyenchantingcoffee @protecterofalltheaus @that-one-percussion-person @stuckonswan @bubblycricket @datonerougecookeh @lizziepopanime @thisimmortalnerd

Also on A03 here


Virgil stumbled out of the store, barging past crowds of people without any idea where he was going.

He just had to go.

Why had he done that to Logan? How could he have done that to Logan? The man who had chosen him above any other orphan, the man who had welcomed Virgil into his home, into his life.

How could he have been so rude to one of the only people who genuinely seemed to care about him?

He should go back. He should turn back and apologise and beg for Logan’s forgiveness but he wouldn’t, he couldn’t. He was too afraid.

Add coward to the long list of things to call yourself, Virgil.

Virgil pushed himself to run faster and faster, he sprinted through the mall, barreling people over and barely stopping long enough to apologise. He finally burst outside and was instantly bathed in warmth from where the sun beamed down on him.

Where to go?

Insensitive.

Doesn’t matter, just don’t stop running.

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Brother’s Best Friend - Dylan O’Brien [Smut] (Teen AU)

Author: @writing-obrien

Character(S): Dylan O’Brien/Reader, Brother!Tyler Posey, Daniel Sharman

Word Count: 3153

Notes: Fingering, Oral (female receiving), shower sex, this is much shorter than my usual works - excluding my first two or three works - and it didn’t really take the direction I had originally intended, but it’s cute and I was in a cute mood, let me live. Huge thanks to @stilinski-jpeg​ for her help on proofreading this. She’s my #SinTwin and I don’t know where I would be without her, I love you, Nia!! We all know how much I love drummer!Dylan so lets go fucking overdrive.

Originally posted by alwaysbeu


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Lessons Learned, pt. 2 [Negan x Reader]

Words: 2,262

Warnings: SMUT, language, kitchen sex, unprotected sex

A/N: Here’s the highly requested second installment to my Negan imagine. I hope you all enjoy it! And yes, this is totally inspired by that scene from Sons of Anarchy. I’m a little nervous about posting this so I hope it’s not too terrible! 

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Between Two Worlds (study for a recurring dream of ichor baptism fashioned as a portico fresco cartoon), 2016 

I have experienced the vision twice so far: in my childhood (around 1984) and last autumn. 

I enter a concealed pavilion and immediately hear a soft female voice speaking an unknown language. There is something about the timbrе that robs me of my will power and I gradually lose control over my body. The sermon brings me to my knees and pulls towards an imposing figure of a pitch black priestess - her features and details of her attire flattened by uniform blackness. I realize before long that the voice is no more and the scene is now drowned in a solemn silence. The lady tends to a peculiar suspended vessel and places it directly over my head. At her slightest touch it tilts and a warm, living substance pours down upon me. It covers me whole and eventually locks my body in this hard resin shell. Panic surge is quickly replaced by the most glorious sensation of myself imploding within the shell and falling endlessly through the soul’s looking glass into the unknown.

Acrylics on paper mounted on prepared hardboard, 23.7 x 22.5 cm