i haven't take this picture

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[ July 31 2016 ]
I honestly can’t believe it’s already the end of July… where did all the time go?
My last bullet journal ran out so I’m using a squared a5 muji notebook for August! I’m excited to use this bcos I don’t have to spend tons of time drawing straight lines HAHHAHA pro-tip: never get a blank notebook.

I’m going on a semi-hiatus starting tomorrow bcos I wanna focus on studying and revising more. I’ve got trials at the end of August.

Hoping August will be a good month for everyone so work hard!!!

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Okay no I’ve actually forgotten how to take nice pictures, but AHHHHHH LUCIFERRY! They’re too cute ;_____; The beginning of their official relationship will be the focus of the next chapter, which I’m quite excited for~

I was pondering what life would be like for Jean when she returns from the White Hot Room. She probably has no idea what a selfie is.

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@adhd-is

Hey! I’ve never posted proper photos of myself on here before, but now I’m like, #yolo, even if just for today, so here we #golo

ADHD is…

Not being diagnosed in childhood, because you did “too well” in school

Spending your teens feeling stupid as all hell, because you struggle to meet deadlines and can’t quite understand concepts in subjects that don’t 100% capture your interest (math, u lil bitch, i am lookin @ u)

Having your executive dysfunction chalked up to “laziness” because if you’re smart, you “can’t” have ADHD, so you’re obviously just unmotivated and lazy. Except if you were unmotivated and lazy, you wouldn’t have high achievement, so like, check mate, bud?

Being told that ADHD isn’t a reason for your behavior, it’s an “excuse”, and that you should just “do better” despite your brain literally not being able to

Not being told you have it until you’re 18 and struggling to function like an adult

Having trouble driving because you can’t focus, having trouble sleeping because you can’t stay still, having trouble with chores because you never remember anything

Hyperfocusing on something so hard that suddenly it’s 6 AM and you’ve ruined your sleep schedule all over again

Suffering from loads of mental health issues, overcoming literally all of them, and having your executive dysfunction still blamed on them because people just??? really love????? to use mental illness and their ableism as a scapegoat?????? instead of trying to help, and recognizing that adhd is a permanent part of you?????????? like “are you sure you’re not just depressed” yes. thank you for your opinion even though i never asked for it, but I am actually very sure, good day to you too sweetie :) :)) :)))

Not being able to make yourself shut up when you’re speaking about something you’re passionate about. Having that problem in college lectures, and hearing a few people snicker each time you talk because you’re /that girl/ who /talks too much/ and has /too many opinions/ like gawd sorry for taking up space ffs

BUT ALSO, ADHD IS…

Finally having an explanation for some of your less-loved quirks, and knowing that you’re not just lazy or stupid

Finding a whole bunch of people who get it

Being able to do amazing things when you hyper focus, getting more done than most people because you actually can’t get distracted for once

Finding outlets for your energy very early on in life, and finding them to be your favorite things in the whole world (acting, dance, music)

Being able to multitask like a pro (and also having to multitask, because when you have the tv/radio/whatever on in the background, it’s a distraction you can control, which helps a lot)

Knowing a whole ton of totally random trivia about so many different things, and a bunch of information on a few select topics, to the point that people think you’re a student in those things (example - I’ve been very physically sick this year, I like to read medical journals, and when I went in to get a CT scan a few months ago, the tech asked me if I was a medical student because of how much I know about it all)

Having a huge amount of energy when you’re doing things you like, and feeling it exponentially grow, feeling like you can take on the world

Understanding that nothing’s wrong with you. You work differently than most people, and it makes life hard, but that’s because of the world, not because of you. It’s just how we are.

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Facsimile of a letter from Alexander Hamilton to his son Philip Hamilton, 5 December 1791, Philadelphia. From The life and epoch of Alexander Hamilton; a historical study.

I received with great pleasure My Dear Philip the letter which you wrote me last week. Your Mama and myself were very happy to learn that you are pleased with your situation and content to stay as long as shall be thought for your good. We hope and believe that nothing will happen to alter this disposition. 

Your Master also informs me that you recited a lesson the first day you began, very much to his satisfaction. I expect every letter from him will give me a fresh proof of your progress. For I know that you can do a great deal, if you please, and I am sure you have too much spirit not to exert yourself, that you may make us every day more and more proud of you. 

Your Mama has got an Ovid for you and is looking up your Mairs introduction. If it cannot be found tomorrow another will be procured and the books with the other articles she promised to send you will be forwarded in two or three days. 

You remember that I engaged to send for you next Saturday and I will do it, unless you request me to put it off. For a promise must never be broken; and I never will make you one, which I will not fulfil as far as I am able. But it has occurred to me that the Christmas holidays are near at hand, and I suppose your school will then break up for some days and give you an opportunity of coming to stay with us for a longer time than if you should come on Saturday. Will it not be best for you, therefore, to put off your journey till the holidays? But determine as you like best and let me know what will be most pleasing to you. 

A good night to my darling son. Adieu 

A Hamilton

Story time! I went to Factory of Terror in cosplay as Danny Fenton with a few other friends who were also in cosplay. As we were going through, one of the workers lurches out from behind a partition, looks at me directly, and says “Come here, pretty boy!” I laughed so hard that I almost walked straight into one of the other workers. None of us could stop laughing for the rest of the walkthrough. That was probably the highlight of my night tbh.