i have yet to recover from this chapter

Kindred Souls (P2)

Part one

A03

Summary: my AU where Peter was abused on Earth and Yondu helps him recover from that abuse

Chapter Summary: Peter stubbornly stays where he’s at not wanting to give into Yondu.

Warnings: None yet but I have to stress this story will get dark later when the backstory of how the abuse happened starts up. This chapter is just the start of their relationship or as I like to call it, them annoying each other with their stubbornness. 

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Keep reading

Yana and her editor’s tweets about the “Demon 6″ special chapter

editor K’s twitter: https://twitter.com/takekumax

Kuroshitsuji official twitter: https://twitter.com/kuroshitsuji2

English translation:

Editor K: Have you read the September issue of the monthly GFantasy magazine that was released on the 18th? It comes with a Kuroshitsuji special chapter (38 pages), which focuses on the ‘demon 6′, the top 6 characters for whom you voted in the popularity poll! 

Editor K: Since the characters who appear in this chapter were chosen based on the results of the popularity poll, the relationships [between some of these characters] are rather distant. We therefore agreed that this chapter is going to be a happy interlude chapter that ignores the usual setting [as well as the characters’ past and their (canon) relationships]. However, not only did Yana-san manage to maintain their respective (canon) relationships, she also included anticipatory hints regarding the main plot, drew a gorgeous double-page spread as well as action scenes. It seems to have been a very troublesome chapter, I’ve never seen her so exhausted before and she almost even missed the deadline. Nevertheless, it’s a comedy-centric chapter, so please enjoy it!

Yana: Hello, this is Toboso, the loser manga artist. Drawing the ‘demon 6′ chapter was so hard that I haven’t fully recovered from exhaustion yet. In terms of art skills, it was the most demanding chapter of all times (because of the characters’ faces)! I think everyone can enjoy reading it since it’s a one-shot fun story with all the popular characters. [This month’s magazine] also includes an interview with the musical actors, so please [read it]! (*◜ω◝*)

Yana: I swear to the devil that the selection of the characters was based on a fair popularity poll ranking, but I can sense Druitt’s extraordinary persistence and power because he actually managed to rank 16th. Also, I’m so glad that the snakes ranked 46th. If they hadn’t, Snake would have been mute all the time, even though he ranked 7th [and made it into the special chapter]. Miracles do indeed happen…

Yana: Since Sebastian legitimately took the first place, I thought I should draw him in the most flamboyant way of all times as a celebration [for his achievement], so I and my assistants tried our best. As a result, when editor K received the final draft (of the special chapter), he said to us “You guys are idiots, aren’t you?” Thank you so much, [your sly remark] is a *huge honour for us… [*internet slang you use when someone says harsh things to you or treats you a bit sadistically.]

Editor K: The GFantasy September issue with the Kuroshitsuji special chapter “Demon 6″ is now on sale. The “flamboyant Sebastian” Yana-san is talking about is the double-page spread allowing you to look down at the city of London, which is an extremely time-consuming and troublesome composition. To be honest, you could read the story smoothly even without these two pages. (lol) However, I think it’s hilarious that she put so much effort into these two [story-wise unnecessary] pages! 

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♡Proofread by lovely minacchin

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Say The Words That I Can't Say, Chapter 5

Well, hello again my lovelies. Happy Valentine’s Day! (In my time zone at least.) Thank you so much to everyone who had such kind things to say about Orphan’s Valentine’s. I’ve definitely been enjoying living in my own little dreamy romance state the last couple of weeks as I’ve been writing these. It means the world to me to hear what you think, and I’m so grateful for each and every comment and like.


This chapter felt to me like a conclusion to this story in a lot of ways, so this might be the end. I reserve the right to come back to it later if the story strikes me, but for now, this is it. I hope you like it, I hope it’s not too heavy handed or too mushy gushy. Feel free to let me know if you think I over did my metaphors, or really anything else that you think!


Previous chapters can be found here on my fics page. Thanks!

Say The Words That I Can’t Say, Chapter 5

“Finn…” she murmurs, pressing her back into the counter. She needs something to steady her unruly knees, which have yet to recover from the day before. It’s dizzying to see him sitting there at the kitchen table, too much after going through the ringer at therapy and she feels lightheaded.

He’s so beautiful. It’s only been 24 hours or so since she’s seen him last, but he’s so lovely that it’s almost hard to look at him. It’s like her poor distressed brain can’t begin to process him. She looks at the floor.

“Rae,” Finn begins, and she can’t help but glance up to see his features marred by anxiety. Their eyes lock for a minute, and Finn’s jaw works futilely. “I… I…”

His eyes dart away quickly to where Linda is standing with her back pressed up against the kitchen sink, watching them with a bland expression. When he sees her looking, his eyes drop down to the tabletop. Rae watches as he swallows thickly and his fingers tighten around his empty mug. His eyebrows furrow. She wonders what he’s thinking, what he’s doing here. Perhaps he’s here to put the nail in the coffin, finally end it once and for all. Or maybe… maybe Kester was right.

She tries to suspend her speculating, to live in the uncertainty rather than jumping to conclusions. It’s hard, almost harder than believing the absolute worst thing. But it’s a bit easier when she can look at him.

“Right then.” Linda announces abruptly, clearing her throat. Rae doesn’t turn her head, just continues to stare at Finn’s brooding, silent face. “I’m just going to go… upstairs. I’ll leave you to it.”

Rae senses her Mum moving, but she can’t seem to look away from Finn, like there are answers spelled out in the constellations of his freckles if she could only decipher the language. His jaw keeps clenching and unclenching. There’s a muscle that stands out in relief against his neck, and she thinks that she might be able to solve all the mysteries of the world if she just watches it long enough. Or at the very least, the mystery of them.

“Not that either of you seem to realize I’m here anyway…” Rae turns towards the sound of her mother’s muttering just in time to catch a glimpse of her back as she leaves the kitchen, a line of water dampening Linda’s shirt from having leaned against the sink. As she watches Linda’s shadow retreat down the hallway, Rae almost wishes her Mum would come back. Almost wishes they could stay there, suspended in that last moment of not knowing, the last moment when there is still a possibility of them.

Finn’s eyes are on her face when she looks back, and she drops her gaze to the floor, shifting her feet beneath her. The silence in the room feels thick, and Rae has a vague impression that there is still some third party in the kitchen watching as she and Finn try to fumble their way to a conversation.

“Who’s Kester?” He asks finally, and Rae glances up to see him twisting his mouth and staring at his hands.

“What?” She can’t understand what’s happening. What did he come here for? How does he know about Kester?

Finn looks up and they lock eyes for a long second. His face is contorted and wary, almost like that morning after the rave, almost shifty. Her heart sinks and she exhales heavily. “Your Mum asked how it went with Kester. He a friend of yours?”

Rae stares at him blankly for a long moment, until something in her seems to crack and a curious weightlessness floods her. She doesn’t understand him, doesn’t know what’s going on here, and all of the sudden she just can’t take any more feelings about it. It’s too much. After yesterday’s wracking sobs and today’s cold self-loathing and the soul-searching in therapy, she just doesn’t have anything left in her. She’s got no more energy to hide, no more energy for anything other than the simple truth.

“Kester’s my therapist.” She says, and something in Finn seems to deflate. His face softens, his shoulders slump, and the tightness of his limbs loosens perceptibly.

“Oh.” The barest smile lifts the corners of his mouth. “I thought you was avoidin’ me.”

He shakes his head and huffs a single chuckle, like he wants the terrible heaviness of the moment to have dissipated, but can’t quite convince himself to believe it. Rae’s eyes trace a vein of blue in the fake linoleum floor as she dispassionately considers what to say. It’s a relief to be emotionless after the storm of feelings that’s been her life over the last couple of days, but it makes navigating the waters of this conversation tricky.

“I kind of was.”

“Rae.” Finn’s voice is a plea, and she looks up. His eyes are wide and sorrowful beneath his raised brows, his cheeks are flushed and his mouth is twisted. “Rae, I’m so sorry.”

Some of her rogue emotions seem to trickle back in, and Rae glances at the back door, unable to bear his guilty expression. She doesn’t need him to be sorry that he doesn’t want her, she doesn’t need him to feel bad about not being able to stomach the bullshit of being with her. She just wants this to go away, she just wants to head up to her room and crawl in her bed and sleep for a year, sleep until she feels better, sleep maybe forever. She knows she should reassure him- after all, she can’t blame him for wanting out of a relationship with her. She’d love to get out of a relationship with herself.

Finn’s voice is low and serious as he continues, and she can feel his gaze on her face like the press of hot air from a heating vent. “I… I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, believe me. I was really looking forward to spending time with you.”

“You fell asleep?” She jerks her head back to examine his face for signs of falsehood, but he just looks repentant.

“Yeah, what did you think had happened?”

“I dunno.” She shrugs, and the truth pours out of her. “I guess I thought you just didn’t want to see me.”

“No.” He says forcefully. He stands abruptly, his chair screeching across the floor, and strides quickly across the room until he’s standing in front of her. Finn places a palm on both of her cheeks and tilts her head until she’s meeting his concerned eyes. “No. Why wouldn’t I want to see you?”

“I guess… I thought after what happened at college the other morning, you’d finally seen how mad I am and had enough of me.” She can’t lower her head with the way he’s holding her, so she lowers her eyes as best she can, ashamed of her answer.

Finn drops his hands and backs away. When he replies, he lifts his hands uselessly, clearly frustrated. “Why would you think that, Rae? Did I give you any sign that I felt that way? I thought after that… you said you trusted me. Why don’t you trust me?”

Rae shakes her head, lifts her now teary eyes to the ceiling, trying to muster the strength to lie. But she can’t. She’s so tired, so spent that it has to be the truth.

“It’s not that. It’s me I don’t trust.” She swallows heavily once the words escape, but he’s shaking his head in bewilderment. Her voice is soft and halting as she explains, “It’s… I don’t trust that there’s anything in me that’s… enough to keep you.”

He’s standing a few feet away, as if her words and his frustration are creating a tangible barrier between them. She can almost see it, almost feel the stones in the invisible wall that surrounds her as he lifts his angry eyes to hers. His nostrils are flared, his jaw tight, and he lifts one hand, palm up. For a second, it looks like he’s reaching across the impermeable distance to get to her, but as he starts talking again, he drops his arm heavily to his side.

“That’s… that’s total bullshit. And you know it.”

“Just, just listen for a minute.” She begs, knowing it’s time. She’s been playing at something she’s completely unprepared to handle with him, and it’s time to lay the cards on the table and let it go. It’s probably the end, but at least it’ll be the right end. Maybe it’ll hurt less this way. “That day at the chippie, when you asked me if I was better? I lied. I’m not better, Finn. I’m not even close to better.”

Rae lifts her tear filled eyes to his, both hating to admit this, and relieved to not have to pretend. Finn’s jaw has softened, and his eyes are no longer cool and flinty, but he doesn’t move to close the distance between them. She tucks her arms behind her back and grips the counter, needing the solidity of it in her hands as she delivers the death blow to their relationship.

“I’m… I’m working on it. Or at least working on working on it. But I’m not better. I’m not normal, and I’m never going to be normal.” She swallows, looks towards the back door as she brushes an errant tear away. “And it’s not just that other people are gonna take the piss outta you for bein’ with me… I’m fucked up. So you’d have to deal with my shit, too. And you deserve better. You deserve to be with somebody normal.”

Silence falls as Rae stares down at her shoes. She can’t look at him, can’t stand to see confirmation in his eyes, or worse… pity. So she keeps her head down, focuses on pulling air through her contracted lungs. Why is it always so hard to breathe around him? That might be one benefit to not being with him anymore- maybe the air will be just air again, rather than some kind of conduit or barrier. It feels like ages since she’s had a clean breath that wasn’t laden with something more. She doesn’t look at him, tries not to guess at what he’s thinking from the angle of his boots.

“Are you done?” Finn’s voice is gruff and unrelenting, and she risks a glance at his face. He looks furious. She returns her eyes to the floor and nods. “Okay, now you listen to me. What about what I want? What I think I deserve?”

His voice cracks, and it’s enough to make her look up and examine his face. He looks hurt and teary, and Rae realizes with sudden clarity that she’s breaking up with Finn. The tears come a bit faster, and she’s not hiding anything anymore. She can’t look away.

“There’s no such thing as normal, Rae. Everybody has shit to deal with, everybody is fucked up in some way. You’re just… You know about it. You’re working through it. That’s more than most people.” His eyes are pleading, and he takes two steps towards her. His beautiful face is contorted and upset, and her heartbeat speeds up at the evidence of his distress. Despite the horrible truths she has to confess, she still hates hurting him. He swallows, shrugs helplessly for a moment. “I… I want you, Rae. I choose you, and I need you to choose me back. I don’t care that you’ve got stuff. I don’t care if you’re crazy. Everyone’s crazy. Everyone has to struggle and fight. I still choose you.”

“Not everybody.” Rae protests, proving she really is crazy. Why can’t she choose him back, why can’t she let his words be enough? She loves him, and he wants her. He just said so. Why can’t she just let it be enough? Why does she have to pick at it? “You’re not crazy, Finn. You’re sweet and wonderful… and you deserve better than me.”

He scoffs loudly, almost as if he’s choking on the words he’s trying to get out. “You what? I’m fucked up too. My Mum pissed off when I was eight, my Dad’s gone all the time, and the only woman who’s ever really loved me just died. I’m struggling too, Rae. I’ve got stuff.”

“Not the only woman.” Rae says in a whisper.

“What?”

“Not the only woman.” She repeats and holds his gaze, willing him to understand, to hear what she’s not sure she can actually say. She loves him, but there’s a sick fear in her that the words are all that’s keeping her alive, and that if she lets them out, her insides will collapse around her own emptiness. Her love for him is the breath in her lungs, and if she gives it to him, she’ll suffocate.

Finn is still, completely motionless for several long minutes. Rae studies his face, tries to track the quicksilver emotions that flash across it, but so much is blocked by a layer of confusion. He doesn’t understand. But then, with a flash of something brilliant in his eyes, she can see that he gets it. The silence that follows is painful, and Rae struggles to keep looking at him under the fear that starts to press in. It doesn’t take long before she has to look away, tears slipping unhindered down her cheeks once more.

Of course, that would be the death of it all. Because who wants to be loved by someone like her.

A flash of movement causes her to raise her head, but she can’t track what’s happening because Finn is suddenly before her. Before she’s processed the movement, before her eyes have even adjusted to him standing so close, he’s grabbed her face with both hands and crashed his lips into hers.

He kisses her like he’ll die without his lips against hers, like he has to extract the words and the air from her lungs just to stay alive. She gasps into his mouth, and he slips his tongue between her lips, pressing more, demanding more, searching frantically for the thing she doesn’t want to give up. He tilts her head, changes the angle and shifts his hips tighter up against hers, until he’s all that she can feel. He surrounds her, overtakes her, until she feels like she’ll suffocate under the insistent pressure of his touch. He’s pulling it from her, withdrawing more and more as she desperately tries to keep up, keep from losing herself completely in him.

But then, it breaks. She surrenders. Where her lungs had felt tight, like they’d been clawing to hang on to the last bit of air within them, now they feel huge and blown out. She’s winded by the sudden influx of air. He’s breathing into her now, filling her back up with something infinitely sweeter than what he’s just pulled out. All this time she’d been afraid to be empty, she’d never even considered that he might have something to give too.

The kiss turns softer, sweeter, more tender. It’s no longer a battle of wills, but a gentle give and take. Finn pulls away after another moment, rests his forehead against hers as he struggles to catch his breath. His fingers slip through her hair, his thumbs caressing gently down her cheeks. Rae glances up at him through her lashes, still cautious. It’s hard to trust that it’s real, that the intangible surrender she’d felt will have affected him the way it has her.

His eyes are still closed, and she can’t interpret his expression through his pink cheeks and quiet panting. A tear escapes and slips hotly down her cheek, and Rae leans in the few inches separating them and steals another kiss, this one slow and lingering. Finn makes a hushed noise against her lips, moves to nuzzle his nose against hers when they break apart.

Rae’s breath comes easy, loose in the stillness of the kitchen. As his faint stubble scrapes against her cheek, the constellations in his skin realign and she’s suddenly able to understand, suddenly able to decode some of the secret language that has kept them apart.

She realizes that she doesn’t want to break up with Finn. She doesn’t want to let her illness win, let it beat out of her this huge wonderful thing she’s got. She wants to choose him over her sickness, choose him over how messed up she feels. She sucks in a huge breath, and as it washes over her, she picks him.

She closes her eyes, reveling in the newfound sureness. It’s as if all this time, she’s still just been deciding on him, and now she’s finally chosen. She’s going to choose Finn. He’s worth fighting for. They’re worth fighting for. She’s worth fighting for.

So, no matter what tomorrow brings, no matter what idiot says something shitty, no matter what kind of misunderstandings cause her feelings to get hurt… she’s choosing to be in this. For Finn, and for herself. They’re worth it, she’s worth it.

“Rae.” Finn’s gruff voice brings her back from her wondrous contemplation, and she opens her eyes to find him staring at her sternly. He removes his hands from her face, places one at her waist and reaches with the other to pull her hand between them and entwine his fingers with hers. “Rae, I…”

“Right kids, I’m just going to pop over to the shop for a bit. You two behave now, alright? Finn dear, I’m making a hot pot tomorrow, if you want to come round for tea, yeah?” Linda’s voice sounds from the hallway, growing louder with each word. Finn groans audibly.

“Yes, Mrs. Bouchtat! I’ll be here.” He calls back with strained cheerfulness, and Rae starts to move out of his embrace, since she knows her mum will come into the kitchen at any second. Finn tightens his grip on her waist as she moves and growls, “No.”

Rae looks up at Linda standing in the doorway, and Linda grins back and waggles her eyebrows, making kissy faces at Finn’s back. Rae widens her eyes at her mum and jerks her head towards the door, and Linda waggles her fingers as she leaves the kitchen, still pursing her lips in an exaggerated kissing movement. Finn doesn’t move, doesn’t turn his head or loosen his grip, even after the front door slams.

“That woman…” Rae starts, but he cuts her off.

“No, no more.” Rae darts startled eyes to his face, worried at his determined expression. He can’t be breaking up with her now, can he? He had to have felt it too. His response to her albeit muddled confession was to kiss her. That has to be a good sign. And he said he’d come for tea. He can’t be breaking up with her.

His eyes are dark and serious as he gazes at her, and he lifts the hand that’s been holding hers and places it gently against her cheek once more. Rae leans into his touch, allows her eyes to drift shut for a second in pleasure. Finn steps closer, presses his body against hers until the countertop is a firm line against the small of her back. She arches just a little bit to get more comfortable, her breasts tight against his chest. She thinks that if she concentrates enough, she can feel his heartbeat pounding against her.

“I love you.”

It detonates like a bomb, shifting and changing everything as it passes by. His voice is gravely and quiet, and the stillness in the kitchen seems to press in on them as they stand in the epicenter of the blast zone. She watches his face, studies his eyes and the curvature of his lips, checking for sincerity. He doesn’t fidget under her scrutiny, doesn’t look away, just watches her as she allows this new reality to sink down deep into her.

And then the rubble settles, and she sucks in sharply, inhaling air fresher and cleaner than any that’s ever passed her lips. She lets it fill her lungs, and with the exhale she’s kissing him again.

It’s different this time, there’s nothing to hide now, nothing to hold back. The kiss ignites the tinder that’s been building between them, and heat rushes through her like an inferno. It’s her that’s pressing in now, her that’s demanding and withdrawing. But there’s no reluctance in Finn, he gives readily, easily, and Rae soon has to pull back, gasping for air. She sucks in a great, unsteady gulp, then dives back in to the kiss. She reaches to grip him tightly, fisting a hand in his hair and another in his t-shirt at the back of his waistband. He groans, shifts hips until his growing hardness is evident against her stomach.

He moves a hand to cup the back of her neck, tilting her head and deepening the kiss. Rae moans breathlessly, lost to everything but the feel of his body against hers, his skin, his lips. She tugs him closer, grips his shirt tighter and shifts until her pinky is darting just underneath the waistband of his jeans, just barely grazing the sensitive forbidden skin. He growls, low and dangerous, and she lets go of his shirt to slip her hand further until her fingers touch the curve of his ass. A flash of his bare bum in the shower skitters through her mind, and she reaches down to grip him, pull him even closer.

He breaks the kiss to moan, then trails his lips down her neck, leaving a line of tingles in his wake. She tugs gently at his hair for a second, then lets go, sliding her hand down the back of his neck and across his shoulders to grip his bicep. Finn nibbles and sucks a path of fire down her neck, tugging the collar of her t-shirt aside to suckle at her collarbone. He nips at a particularly sensitive spot, and Rae cries out softly, arching her hips into him firmly. Heat floods through her at the feel of him hard against her, at the remembrance of what that hardness can do.

“Upstairs.” She pants, unable to resist gripping his bum and grinding herself mindlessly against him. He doesn’t seem to hear her, but continues tugging at her collar, kissing the sensitive skin just below her throat. “Finn, upstairs. Please.”

She forces herself to get the words out without moaning, and he raises dazed eyes to her face and nods. His lips are pink and a bit swollen, his cheeks red, his hair tousled and sticking up, his eyes dark and lustful. He’s the sexiest thing she’s ever seen, better than Damon Albarn and the Gallagher brothers combined. She slips her hand out of his pants, and tugs at his where it’s buried in her hair. He releases her, and she slides out from between him and the counter, turns to grip his hand and lead him up the stairs.

Finn trips twice on the way up, barely catching himself, and it’s a measure of how utterly turned on she is that she doesn’t laugh. As soon as they’ve shut the door to her bedroom, he’s kissing her again, hot and demanding and needy. She forces him to walk backwards towards the bed while still locked in his embrace, only absently noting that her feet seem to have the right idea about where this is headed. When they get close enough, she puts her hands on his shoulders and pushes him down until he plops onto her CareBears duvet. She stays standing before him, and the heat in his eyes is searing as he looks up at her with a mixture of lust and affection.

She stares at him for a second, tries to fix his expression into her brain permanently. She never wants to forget this, never wants to forget how it feels to be loved and wanted by this beautiful boy. Then she takes a deep breath and tugs her shirt off. Finn inhales sharply, reaching for her before she’s even gotten the fabric over her head, slides his rough hands over the pale skin of her stomach. He tugs her closer, until her shins are touching the bed and his arms are wrapped around her.

He keeps his eyes on hers for a minute as she drops the shirt to the floor, his thumbs sliding along her bare back, sending shivers along her spine. Then he leans in with deliberate slowness and places leisurely, wet kisses onto her stomach. She moans, her brain unsure if she likes it or not, but her body filled with fire at his touch, her heart aching from his tenderness. She allows him just a second to kiss her before reaching down to unbutton her jeans and slide them down her hips. It’s only when she’s standing in front of him in just her underwear, his eyes searing as they rake over her exposed skin, that she realizes she’s wearing plain old cotton, not her sexy lingerie at all.

Rae has a moment of hesitation, of wanting to cover up, but it’s gone as soon as Finn’s hands are on her again. He touches her hips, slips his fingers over her thighs, then runs his hands up along her sides in a single smooth movement, resting them on her breasts. She reaches behind her with shaky hands to unclasp her bra, and he whimpers as she peels the fabric off. He moves back suddenly, sliding himself across the bed until his back is against the wall, then leans forward and grabs her hips, tugging her forwards until she’s straddling him. Rae groans as she feels him underneath her, separated by the frustrating layers of clothes between them, but he’s tugged her closer and drawn one of her nipples into his mouth and the thought is lost in a blaze of heat.

She grinds herself into him shamelessly, her body fruitlessly seeking his hardness where she needs it most. He sucks and nips and licks at her breasts, his hands helping ensure both are attended to. She moans and shifts and arches her back, trying to get closer, to demand more. Eventually, it’s enough. She can’t resist the heat that’s blazing underneath her skin, so she moves off of him and pushes him down until he’s lying beneath her on the bed.

She scrambles to undress him, pulling at his shirt until he sits up enough to let her remove it, then pushing his shoulders back down to the bed. She reaches for his jeans, unbuttoning them and tugging them off of his hips until they get stuck on his boots. She pulls those off, then his socks and finally his jeans. And then she takes a second, kneeling on her heels at his feet to look up at Finn, her beautiful, heart-stoppingly sexy Finn, mostly naked on her bed. She swallows heavily, rakes her eyes over his bare torso, then leans over to run a hand down his side, stopping at his hips. She moves until she’s crouched over him, kneeling between his legs, one hand on each hip. She glances up to find him watching her, pupils blown out in desire. She holds his gaze for a second, then bends to press a tentative kiss to his cock through the fabric of his boxers.

Finn gives a ragged cry, hips jerking involuntarily. Rae grins, gripping his hips a little harder to hold him down more firmly and does it again.

“Ungh.” He groans, reaching down to grip her arms, sitting up a bit. “No, Rae. You can’t… I won’t… Not this time, ok? I want to… make love to you.”

She freezes, looking up at him, just on the verge of being hurt. Why doesn’t he want her to blow him? Is she doing it wrong? She hasn’t even really gotten to the good part yet. Finn’s eyebrows draw together at the confused expression on her face, and he sits up the rest of the way, pulling her up and stroking a hand down her hair with a soft smile.

“I won’t last.” He says, forcing her to meet his gaze. Oh. So, he must be really into this then. Into her. She bites her bottom lip against the smile that’s threatening. He’s really into her and she’s not even wearing her sexy underwear. He laughs at her expression, eyes warm. “I love you.”

She gives him a shaky smile, and he pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her and exerting gentle pressure until she’s lying on her back beneath him. He hovers over her, hands roaming swiftly, hips swiveling against hers. Rae moans, grabs his butt and pulls him against her. Finn seems to get the hint, and reaches trembling hands to slip her underwear down her legs, giving not even a second’s pause at the plain white cotton. He shifts above her to remove his boxers, bending down to retrieve a condom from his wallet and slip it on, and then it’s skin on skin all the way down, and she feels like she might just die from the pleasure of it, from the warmth that’s coursing through her body.

“Say it again.” She whispers as his eyes meet hers, and he adjusts so that he can touch her face and give her a slow, soothing kiss. She moans as he grinds himself against her, her fingers scrambling at his hips to pull him in, to feel him inside of her when he says it, inside of her in every possible way.

“I love you, Rae.” He murmurs against her lips, his voice tight and husky. Rae moans in pleasure, arches into him and he uses his other hand to wrap her leg around his waist. He hasn’t entered her yet, but everything is lined up just where it should go and it’s a blissful torment, the anticipation. He kisses her again, warm and wet and lingering. Her hips move, trying to draw him in, but he holds himself back for another second, gazing into her eyes before finally sinking into her. Rae gives a blissful moan as he whispers again, “I love you.”

Finn keeps a torturously slow pace as he makes love to her. Rae wants to beg and plead for him to go faster, for more more more, but a hush has come over them both. He looks into her eyes, swipes his fingers across her cheeks, drops down to kiss her slowly, reverently. The pressure inside of her builds with a painful languidness, a quiet increase that sears her synapses. It’s as if she can feel him overtaking every part of her, bit by bit. Finn conquers all the parts of her that she doesn’t like, burns away all the rotten bits, leaves her a raw, trembling mess as he goes.

Her fingers no longer scramble, but glide over the smooth planes of his back. They graze the thin, tender skin at his hips, slip slowly over the muscles and veins of his arms. Her leg wraps more tightly around him, pulling him in and reducing the force of his thrusts. Still the pleasure builds, the fire between them growing more and more fierce as they merge into a singular being. She can no longer determine where he ends and she begins, where her flesh and his flesh meet. They are only heat, only need, only air.

Rae throws her head back with a cry when she comes, and Finn kisses her exposed neck. He thrusts harder a few times before he finds his own release, and Rae watches as the pleasure overtakes his face and his eyes squeeze shut in bliss. She slides her hands up his trembling arms, watching with awe and wonder as his body is overcome with their connection. He’s beautiful. They are beautiful together.

Finn’s arms give out a bit, and his body presses into hers with an unfamiliar but comfortable weight. He presses his face into her neck, and she wraps her arms around him, twining her fingers in his hair. She can feel him smile against her skin.

From downstairs, they hear can hear the distinctive sound of the front door slamming.

“Shit!” Rae cries, shoving at Finn’s shoulder’s in alarm. Fuck, he’s heavy! She can’t move with him on top of her, and they have to move and quickly if they don’t want to get caught. “Finn, my Mum!”

“Fuck!” He grunts, leaping off of her and searching around frantically for his clothes. He grabs a tissue and squashes the used condom in it, then swivels his head madly until Rae points out the trash bin. He buries the tissue beneath an old magazine, bends down to grab his clothes. He tosses Rae’s bra in her general direction while hopping into his boxers, and she jumps up and starts looking for her shirt while putting it on. “Fuck fuck fuck!”

If she wasn’t quite so panicked, she might laugh at the absurdity of it all. Finn’s still swearing, one leg in his pants while pulling on his shirt. Rae’s located her underwear and slipped on her shirt, but she can’t seem to find her jeans. Then, horror of horrors, they hear Linda’s heavy tread lumbering up the stairs. Finn’s gotten his pants on and is making the bed when Rae discovers her jeans hiding underneath the pillow. She lunges into them just as he’s smoothed out the duvet, and they share a look of wide-eyed terror as they both rack their brains frantically for a way to look natural. In Rae’s bedroom, after just having shagged on her bed.

“Bean bag!” Rae points victoriously, her brain finally supplying an option for what they might be doing. They plop down into it in a heap, rearranging their limbs into what looks like a casual and parental appropriate fashion. Finn heaves a sigh as they get adjusted, relieved to be in the clear, but something is nagging Rae with its unnaturalness. She glances around the room for any signs of what they’ve been up to. Their shoes are discarded at the foot of the bed, but that’s okay. Linda won’t find anything strange in that. But there’s something…

“Music!” Rae leaps up and dives across the room, turns on her stereo and presses play. She can hear Linda step on the creaky board on the landing, and she lunges back to Finn, collapsing in the bean bag chair beside him breathlessly. Finn grabs the nearest magazine, which happens to be one of Chloe’s fashion magazines, and frowns down at it in fake concentration. Rae adjusts herself in the chair and looks over his shoulder at it just as Linda swings the door open.

“Mum! Can’t you knock?” Rae exclaims as her Mum bursts into the room. Linda looks around for a minute, eyes lingering on the slightly disheveled bed before coming to rest on Rae and Finn, snuggled up together on the small beanbag. But either Linda doesn’t notice anything amiss, or she chooses not to say anything, because all she does is lean up against the door frame and cluck at them.

“Glad to see you two’ve made up then.” She says, shaking her head. “You’re no fun at all when you two are rowing, Rae.”

“Mum!” Rae hisses, a blush burning hot on her cheeks. It seems silly to be embarrassed about that, after what they’ve just done, after nearly getting caught in it, but she can’t help it. She’d really rather not have Finn know just how distraught she is without him.

“Alright!” Linda waves her hand in the air at them, then shuts the door as she exits the room. She’s almost closed it completely when she turns back and cracks it a bit, leaning in the small space to point at them with narrowed eyes. “Just keep the door open, yeah? I’m much too young to be a grandmother, change or no change.”

“Oh my God, Mum!” Rae exclaims, and Linda’s laugh echoes behind her as she heads back downstairs. Rae groans and ducks her head to rest on Finn’s shoulder, which shakes as he laughs.

“That were close. Jesus.” He chuckles, and she looks up and curls her lip in a sneer. He laughs harder at the face she’s pulling, and she has to look away to keep from smiling back. “Fuckin’ hilarious.”

“Easy for you to say. It’s not you who’d be subject to the wrath of Mum.” She widens her eyes in only half-faked terror. Rae shudders just thinking about what her Mum would do if she caught them. It’d be non-stop sex lectures for years. Uck.

Finn shrugs and grins. “Don’t matter. I’m sure I’d get it too, I’m not going anywhere.”

Rae grins, rubbing her face against the softness of his t-shirt over his shoulder. It’s a nice promise, a good thing to hold on to. She’d thought that about him before, after the panic attack at college, but this time… it’s different. This time, she’s made her choice.

“I love you.” She whispers, pressing her nose against his shoulder and looking up at him. His eyes are dark and serious as he looks back, but they’re warmed by the huge smile that’s lighting up his face. He turns his head to toss the magazine aside and reaches across to run his fingers through the fall of her hair, tucking them behind her ear and tilting her head so he can kiss her tenderly, the smile never leaving his lips.

Finn shifts so that he can wrap his arm around her, and Rae snuggles into his chest with a contented sigh. He plays with her hair absently, and for a few blissful minutes, everything is completely right with the world. But before long, Rae finds that the words have built up within her and she has to let them out, has to share them with this boy she loves so much.

“Finn?” She asks tentatively without raising her head. The sound of his heart beating beneath her gives her courage to tell him all the things she thought she’d never say. “You said earlier that you wanted me to choose you. Well, I do. I choose you. I choose you over all the crap that life is going to throw our way. It won’t be easy, you know that. People are shit, and I’m… well, I’m working on it. But I want to pick you over all of that. I choose you.”

Finn hums, a contented sort of sound, and presses a kiss against her hair. Rae lifts wide, loving eyes to his and he tugs playfully on her hair at the back of her neck, smiles down at her. “That’s good enough for me.”

He shrugs, and Rae laughs. Maybe, just maybe, she can choose to be good enough for him too. She can choose to work on herself, choose to try and get better, choose to believe him when he says that he loves her. And then maybe, in time, she’ll become someone who is good enough for Finn. In the meantime, at least he thinks she’s enough.

Wonderful, beautiful babies on my tag list, I thank you for your support.

 
kneekeyta, darlingdiver, denaceleste, fantasticab, mirandasmadeofstone, nemo-miracle-grow, finleyquietkindspecialnelson, murderyoursoul, raernundo, lametwentysomething, irish-girl-84, ducky17, i-dream-of-emus, nutinanutshell, vomit-omlette, bnayy, tinakegg, bitchy-broken, ililypop, myfinnnelsonpls, phoenixflow, fizzezlikecherrycola, anglophileyoungblood, madfatty, teastaindiary, penguinsandbowties, endemictoearth, mmfdfanfic shashaaussi, 14000romances, slitherouter, cheersmedear, curvygirlonabudget, bebelievelive. chrryblsms, anitavalija, llexis, die4mysins, borntosik, sicklittlejag, celestev31, mallyallyandra, im-an-emu, hewittgolightly, 2muchtosee2littletime, areyousad8118 mellamoaiko, kerrv0rting-and-sn0rting, thatfunnygirllauren, heyheatherrr, @cant-getno-sleep, @takenbyatree,  losingpudge, xdollydaydreamx, voodoomarie

2

Theory on Hide in Tokyo Ghoul :RE

So a majority of us fans of Tokyo Ghoul have watched the anime and it’s second season Root A and read the manga series. So it is no uncommon knowledge that Hide died in Root A yet we still don’t know what his fate was in the manga. It is heavily hinted that while in a psychotic state Kaneki ate Hide. However Kaneki has no memory of this.

We also know that Ishida had a hand in Root A as he saw that it wasn’t following the manga-which I believe he originally wanted. Rather then the series being called Season 2 it was called Root A.

Why? 

To me it means Alternative Root, a way things could have gone. Kaneki never joined Aogiri in the manga, he never went to Kanou’s Lab, he never started his group. It also means he never ate Hide.

However Hide died. But not by Kaneki. 

I think it is possible that Kaneki did attack Hide, but didn’t kill him. Or Hide had ‘food’ with him for Kaneki. It is unknown what happened to Hide, only that the result is the same, Hide is out of Kaneki’s life while Kaneki becomes Haise.

I like to think that instead of dying Hide is alive, just away from Haise. He could have been who Touka was visiting at the hospital living under a false identity so the CCG won’t find him. If that is the case then what Hide wrote on his Testimony had to have been something for letting Kaneki live. Or Hide could have been taken by Aogiri and is now one of their OWL experiments.

What ever the case may be I believe he is alive because his body was never recovered. Given that the CCG would have gone through the sewers searching for other ghouls who may have entered another way then V14 they would have found Hide’s body at some point. And even though he was starving Kaneki wouldn’t have been able to eat all of Hide’s body, meaning he was moved.

The other reason I think he is alive is chapter 31.5 of :RE. It is heavily hinted that the book is from Hide. Though we do not know it yet, any hint is a good hint.

What are your thoughts?

pipiipek  asked:

This entire episode I was literally thinking about Tourmaline.

OKAY. I GOTTA SAY THIS LIKE AT LEAST ONCE.

SO I WROTE TOURMALINE IN UNDER TWO MONTHS. 24 CHAPTERS, 85,000 WORDS. YOU KNOW HOW YOU DO THAT IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS? YOU THINK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY. EVERY FREE MOMENT. YOU PLAN AND DRAFT AND REDRAFT. EVERY SECOND. HOURS EVERY DAY.

BASICALLY– I HAVEN’T RECOVERED YET. THERE IS NO IMMEDIATE WAY TO JUST…STOP HAVING THAT MINDSET. I STILL GET WAVES OF “SHIT I SHOULD BE WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER”. IVE GOT A DOZEN SONGS ON MY IPOD PERMANENTLY ASSOCIATED WITH THIS FIC SINCE I LISTENED TO THEM ON LOOP. IT WILL BE A LONG TIME BEFORE I BREAK FROM THIS.

SO LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU. SEEING STEVEN TRY TO HELP PERIDOT. SEEING HER BREAK DOWN REALIZING IT’S HOPELESS AND YELLOW DIAMOND DOESNT CARE AND NO ONE’S COMING BACK FOR HER. SEEING THE GEMS ROUND ON STEVEN WHEN HE ADMITS IT’S HIS FAULT PERIDOT IS OUT. PERIDOT THREATENING STEVEN AND THEN GIVING UP ALL HOPE.

S U R R E A L. …  .. ……….

anonymous asked:

Are you aware of the theory stating that Sandor might be the valonquar? So that he fights Frankengregor in Cersei's trial for combat, wins, and therefore causes both Cersei's death and his big brother's. This would round up both the prophecy and Sandor's constant desire and also destiny.

Yeah, I hate this theory for many reasons. 

One, it would be terrifically dumb for the valonqar prophecy to refer to someone else’s little brother. There’s no way to make that reveal work. What, is Cersei going to die thinking “OMG it was Sandor all along!” But for her to realize she was wrong about both Tyrion and her beloved Jaime her whole life…that’s much more powerful, and I really think GRRM knows that. 

Two, Cersei’s not losing her trial. Tommen and Myrcella are still alive, so the “golden shrouds” part of the prophecy has yet to be fulfilled, and I certainly don’t think they’re both going to die in the five days between the epilogue to Dance and said trial. Moreover, we know from Arya’s released Winds chapter that Cersei has sent Harys Swyft to Braavos, so she clearly hasn’t been executed and has retained some vestige of authority.

Three, the whole “Cleganebowl” thing is one of the silliest, shallowest ideas to come out of the fandom. Practically speaking, Sandor has yet to recover from his wounds, if indeed he ever will. He’s in no shape to take on Gregor; besides, I sincerely doubt the Elder Brother has told anyone outside the Quiet Isle that Sandor is alive. (I have to imagine that the EB would despise the High Sparrow and not seek to aid him in any way.) Thematically speaking, Sandor’s story is not building to him finally taking revenge on Gregor. It’s about him learning to live for something besides revenge, besides violence, besides anger. That’s what we mean when we talk about his redemptive arc. To roar with bloodlust at the thought of Sandor taking “Robert Strong” down is to give in to precisely the mindset that GRRM is critiquing. After all, it wasn’t empowering and awesome when Tyrion killed his lifelong tormentor; it was awful and sad. 

All Of Me - Epilogue

Hello you lovely people. So this is it, the final chapter! Thank you all for all of the likes, reblogs and lovely messages, it really means a lot. As always you can find all of the other chapters here.

Hartbig. None of this is real. 1325 words. Inspired by the beautiful All Of Me by Ally Rhodes.

Anyway, I am glad you guys have enjoyed this and put up with all of the crazy. I’ll be starting a new possibly multi-chapter fic soon! In the mean time you can leave any prompts here

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