i have waited all year for this okay leave me alone

Reasons I Can’t Wait To Live Alone
  • I can walk around in my underwear and noone can complain
  • i can have all the queso to myself
  • i can watch whatever I want when I want
  • I can clean if I want to or just leave it for tomorrow
  • if I order pizza I can order 5 boxes of pizza and noone can stop me from eating it
  • i can own a cat
  • I can wear whatever I want and noone can judge me (except assholes but who cares what they think)
  • My OCD and depression will probably improve tenfold
  • I can splurge every now and then without getting yelled at for wasting money (okay mom like you’re one to talk)
  • i can have a glass of wine or a mother fucking mimosa every now and then without being told I’m an alcoholic (really mom like three times a year I have one drink chill)
  • I can sleep in with no interruptions
  • I can masturbate whenever I want to
  • I don’t have to answer the door when my mother comes over
  • did i mention the queso and pizza??????