i have value simply because i am

So I guess the latest thing in the monosexual tag is someone made a comment about not understanding monosexuality? Or called it weird?

Well, I don’t understand monosexuality. Note, I don’t say “Gay sexuality” is weird, or “Straight Sexuality”. I say monosexual because - for me - being attracted to only one gender is a completely alien concept. I have no frame of reference for it, I have no idea what it feels like because I have had attractions to multiple genders for as long as I’ve been attracted to people. I, literally, do not understand what it is like to be monosexual. That is not a value statement (I am not disparaging being attracted to one gender) - it’s simply the truth.

I also do not understand what it’s like to be a woman. Or trans. Or an oppressed race.

Am I being homophobic by saying that?

Cartman the ESTP-A


These will be my own interpretations of each of the main four. Since these are gonna take a while I may as well separate them into individual posts by character. Besides they’re easier on people’s dashes this way.

Extraverted – “I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. I’m excited when I’m around people and I like to energize other people. I like moving into action and making things happen.”

Pretty self-explanatory. Anyone who’s watched the show could tell you that Cartman’s favorite place is the spotlight. He thrives on the things going on around him, but only concerns himself with what he’s interested in. If he personally doesn’t deem the newest trends cool enough, he doesn’t want to be a part of them and will need a lot of pushing to get into it.

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Despite his obvious notoriety, Cartman actually has a very high range of influence, and if he really wants to, he can manipulate others to do what he wants. Whether that’s making every kid think Kyle did 9/11

Or rallying a group against Wendy for killing smurfs.

Granted the anti-wendy group was much smaller but Wendy’s popularity counteracting his influence, combined with the stupidity of his statements made only a few students actually believe him. But still, Cartman can say “Wendy kills smurfs,” and there are people that will actually believe him. That is evidence of his people skills.

The hidden con to this is that if Cartman is ignored for long enough, he becomes incredibly malleable to those who will give him attention. External attention is Cartman’s life force. He needs it to function. And when he says he would love it if he was the only person existing on the planet it’s definitely a front. That would be Cartman’s worst nightmare.

That being said, Cartman doesn’t mind alone time. It’s more the situation of there being people around that aren’t paying attention to him that gets him. In general if there was a threat of Cartman never getting attention again, he would not be happy.

Sensing – “Paying attention to physical reality, what I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. I’m concerned with what is actual, present, current, and real. I notice facts and I remember details that are important to me. I like to see the practical use of things and learn best when I see how to use what I’m learning. Experience speaks to me louder than words.”

This is the businessman in Cartman. You’d think with his crazy schemes and big imagination that would not make him very in-tuned with reality, but it’s the opposite. Cartman is very observant of what’s around him, more so than any other boy in school. 

He is aware of patterns in groups, genders, races and even social classes. Granted he uses these to pass judgement on people in a way that he can unfairly dismissive manor, but he is very observant and even points out stereotypes he’s never heard anybody use before. And he’s especially observant of Kyle, so much that he can predict how he’ll respond to things.

Not only that, he knows what laws are being passed. He knows what he can and can’t do legally, whether it’s taking the Washington Redskin’s name or using the girl’s restroom because he identifies as a girl. 

By observing and keeping up with the world around him he uses these like pieces of a puzzle to put together a big picture of whatever he wants.

Thinking – “When I make a decision, I like to find the basic truth or principle to be applied, regardless of the specific situation involved. I like to analyze pros and cons. I notice inconsistencies. Sometimes I miss or don’t value the ’people’part of a situation.”

Cartman is a very passion oriented person. However, he’s also very methodical.

 I take Thinking over Feeling because these traits simply don’t apply to him;

  • I have a people or communications orientation.
  • I am concerned with harmony and nervous when it is missing.
  • I look for what is important to others and express concern for others.
  • I make decisions with my heart and want to be compassionate.
  • I believe being tactful is more important than telling the “cold” truth.
  • Sometimes I miss seeing or communicating the “hard truth” of situations.
  • I am sometimes experienced by others as too idealistic, mushy, or indirect.

While Cartman is definitely a people person, it’s more so because he understands how they work as opposed to feeling how they feel. It takes a much deeper connection for Cartman to actually care about how people are feeling, and this is only with a select group of individuals. His Mom, His four friends, and cats.

But Cartman is very down to business when he needs to be. He cares about  potential and wastes no time turning potential into results. Morality isn’t a concern to him, just efficiency. To him morality is just a word he can use to dupe competitors.

He will speak very bluntly with no regard for others’ feelings unless they’re valuable partners to him.

 and he will push his subordinates and not let anybody slack. 

Overall, he’d make a very efficient boss.

Him not being overly concerned about subordinate comfort will often make people defect from him, but it also means that he maintains efficiency. So while some leave, the ones that stay benefit from his methods.

This being clearly seen in the Wacky Molestation Adventure episode. Kyle and Stan left Cartman because he was in their eyes too strict and created their own sect of people. Even though they were lenient with their half of the town, their side also ended up filthy and savage while Cartman’s half had their usual clean clothes, while utilizing some weird fucking jar technology that Stan and Kyle’s side didn’t have.

At the end of the day even if he is affected by the atmosphere surrounding him, his actions do still make sense and he still weighs the pros and cons in most situations. This only stops being a fact when his ego is threatened, and then he becomes a wildcard.

Percieving – “ I use my perceiving function (whether it is Sensing or Intuition) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a flexible and spontaneous way of life, and I like to understand and adapt to the world rather than organize it. Others see me staying open to new experiences and information.”

Cartman can be very stubborn, but only if what he’s pushing for is plausible in the atmosphere he’s in. Cartman is a very opportunistic person and adapts with whatever’s going on, attaching to the newest event and finding out ways to make it work for him.

His biggest struggle was with the PC agenda, unable to fit it into his personal interests at first. As he first saw it, PC was a threat to everything he enjoyed doing. PC Principal quickly beat that out of him, at which point he was actually having an internal arc in the hospital, trying to decide whether or not he should just adapt to this weird philosophy.

Before and afterward, his resistance to the PC trend strongly stemmed from Kyle. 

Kyle is a very strong influence to Cartman, and, in a dilemna where Cartman’s ego is clashing with his adaptability, he would rely on Kyle’s support to make that kind of decision.

The three things that keep him going in this decision being, his set of values, his adaptability, and Kyle’s set of values. 

Kyle ultimately gave up on going against political correctness.

In turn, so did Cartman.

And with this change he was able to adapt to the PC culture and use it to feed his ego the way he saw other people do the same. Despite what everyone thought he would do, he became part of PC culture and was able to make it benefit him.

Because he doesn’t need a set of values to be an asshole, he just needs to know how to use the set of values that the majority people believe in to his advantage.

He generally however adapts way quicker and much more instantaneously, never missing a beat. This PC culture along with the High School Musical scenario are the only two scenarios where he struggled to adapt.

Other times he was crowd funding, running a business, running half a town, rolling with the weird reality that there were creatures from the void invading their dimension, starting a peruvian flute band on the fly and making a boyband. 

Though Cartman is a domineering person, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a stubborn person. A lot of his control is being able to adapt to his surroundings and properly understand them. This requires him to be Percieving, to think on his feet and be receptive to whatever the universe throws at him.

Similar to Stan’s functions, Cartman’s are tightly knit together and complement each other very fluidly, allowing him to act without much hesitation most times.

Stan the ESFP-T
Kyle the INFJ-A
Kenny the ISFP-T

Check my character analysis tag~

Goodbye, 피 땀 눈물! 💞
  • Chances are slim but can we reach 100m on BST before tonight's comeback please? Idk I feel sad to let this era go. We will now be visiting another mv and talk about it for days, months even. There will be another set of mindfucking conspiracies and theories, and new bighit's bomb which will surely make us turn into ashes. I am so grateful for this era as there are so many new ARMYs who entered the fandom because of BST. This era conquered countless new awards and achievements. This era embedded yet another beautiful tattoos in our hearts. This era molded new lessons and values as for our being human individuals. Dream high, do not be afraid to have high ambitions, do it with determination and effort, and surely your fantasy will turn to reality one day. This era is simply.. beautiful. I appreciate it so much. But it also makes me quite glad that BTS is going to be a step closer to further success, with us ARMYs of course. I'll stream a little more of BST before tonight's awaited comeback. More power, BTS! 💞
  • PS: Dont forget to stream, vote and download their music okay? Let's do our best to support them.
  • 안녕히가세요, 피 땀 눈물 💞
  • Chimchimdooly

like I’ve been thinking about this a lot and tried to analyze my feelings in the past where I’d feel this type of anger and betrayal when I saw men of colour especially south asian men who are big in pop culture, dating white women. and I tried to flip it around to think okay lets imagine those celebrities did in fact date someone like myself in terms of race/ethnicity. am I simply seeking validation from those celebrity men on whether they accept someone like me, is this a form of internalized misogyny to project my self-worth on a relationship that in reality has nothing to do with me? most importantly why do I care what these rich pop icons have to think about women that are of my race/ethnicity, is it because I value their class-status and feel affirmed in my own identity that I could align myself to the same power? even though I try to reject the male gaze, I want the eyes of rich racialized celebrities, on someone like me?

anonymous asked:

hey since you're doing an advice thing rn, can you tell me something? is it possible to be platonically in love with someone? I have a friend who is the most amazing girl ever. she's kind, funny, brilliant, and beautiful. and though I think all these things are true, I would never imagine asking her out, because I value our friendship too much. but I still feel this sort of "love" for her, so is it possible? am I platonically in love?

i’ve felt this before for a very very close friend! it’s definitely okay to love your friends! that’s just your way of wanting to express love. it’s okay to want to hug your friend simply because they’re your friend. people don’t act on it and it’s not a big thing but i love holding hands with my girlfriends and even male friends. it’s the nurturing in you.

Dear Church: On Society (read this)

Dear Church,

On nights like tonight, I am stuck on words.

They ring through my head and some fly by, but some I cannot explain or define.

Tonight, there are two. They have actually been in my head for a quite a few. 

tolerance. bigoted.

The two are tied so closely together. But their meanings have changed.

Tolerance used to mean getting along with people you disagree with.

If you could not value people despite the fact that their opinions differed from yours, you were intolerant or bigoted (which simply meant to be intolerant).

I could always value people more than their opinions because I truly believed that God created them with innate value and nothing they say or do could ever take that away. I still do.

Valuing people…what does that mean anymore? Now, it isn’t about who people are. It isn’t about the fact that they were created with innate value. That is not their identity anymore. Their identity is what they choose. 

What used to be cool facts about people have become all-consuming. I hear people’s conversations, and they ring in my head like the sound in the movies after a bomb goes off. Everything seems distorted and I wonder how I can still think, and what has survived the explosion.

After all, my “black friend” used to just be “my friend.” My “gay friend” used to just be “my friend.” I didn’t need to describe their color or their choices because that color and that choice didn’t use to define that man. I loved that man because Christ loves that man. That was all that mattered.

As for society, identities have gotten thicker and thicker and thicker, and skin has gotten thinner and thinner and thinner.

Society defines everything. Something that was deemed scientific fact is simply a social construct. Call it that for long enough and society may forget it was ever viewed another way. It’s desensitizing. If society deems it so, it is so, and so society can deem and un-deem as they please. And they have deemed tolerance to mean something that it never meant before. 

In this day in age, our society has defined tolerance as being in agreement with every ideal that others hold and valuing those ideals as if they hold the same validity as yours.

Why did I personalize it? Because now, society has deemed it true, so it must be true of you.

On nights like tonight, I wonder why. 

Why do people fear religion, fear Christians, fear administrations, fear the opinions of others while telling others to accept all opinions, all creeds, all leaders? 

Did they not mean to tell others to accept their opinions, their creeds, and their leaders? 

Was that not clear?

Do people fear religion, Christians, administrations, and others’ opinions because that paper-thin skin might get broken, and worst of all, the new social constructs might deconstruct and eternal truth might break through?

Would that not be absolutely shattering, since society defines truth?

Would it not be terrifying for people to meet God and have him shatter the image in the mirror that they believed was god

But isn’t that the conversion story for every Christian, no matter when their conversion took place? 

“I thought I was god, and then realized I wasn’t.”

Have logic and common sense left us, church? Or have we forgotten how to use them? Why do we stay silent about the truth for so long that we have to argue it when if we had simply spoken when addressed, we could have simply stated it? 

Society asked us what we thought and we said nothing. That spoke louder than everything. Now, when we speak out, it’s intolerant. And we have almost forgotten how to think.

Think with me for a second.

Under the new definition of tolerance, isn’t calling someone intolerant… intolerant? Isn’t calling someone bigoted…bigoted?

It seems that now, free speech is for some, but others must be silenced. So they might be parading their cause, and coming out of oppression, but if someone disagrees with their cause, they better silence that person!


The clock is ticking.

Better silence the noise quick.

They have to know.

Otherwise, there wouldn’t be such a rush.

They have to know that one word from someone else could break the barricade around their heart, or at the very least, weaken it.

They have to know that if they listened long enough, they might realize that someone else’s opinion may not only be valid…but true.

They might realize that God is not a social construct, and “He is not you.”

They might realize that people are not so perfect and infallible that no-one can disagree with them. People are not truth such that every disagreeing opinion is false. People’s disagreeing opinions might not only be valid…they might be right. 

How will they know if they shut you up? How will they know, church, if you shut up and give up? And how much do you have to hate society to give up on them?

Let’s redefine tolerance, together. Church, let’s step in. 

First, let’s break down tolerance by overwhelming it with love. Let’s build relationships with people. Within those relationships, let’s speak the truth in love. 

Let’s love like CRAZY. Let’s love our friends. Not our “black friends” or “gay friends” or “democratic friends” or “republican friends.” Let’s lose the adjectives, and stop the name-calling. If we don’t, how will they see something better? The only thing people need to know they are is “loved.”

Stop saying people will go to hell if they voted for that candidate. Stop saying people be blessed if they share that Facebook post or type “Amen.” Amen? Seriously. Stop telling people they’re in your thoughts, and start telling them they’re in your prayers! Society doesn’t define truth, but it does set trends. Let’s be trend-setters.

On nights like tonight, church, I wonder what will happen if we don’t!

I say out loud into the night, “Lord Jesus, help us.”

 And He says “I will, but help yourselves by doing what you know is right.”

Church, if we do not step into a broken society and meet them where they are, some of our greatest fears will come true.

When will we be bigots for mentioning our God instead of someone else’s? For believing in Him instead of some other god? For worshipping Him instead of what society worships? 

That’s my closing thought. Mull that over in your head. Count the cost. Decide what will make better change - a Republican-dominated government or a Christ-dominated society? 

Ask yourself that question, and live out your answer.




“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

- Jesus

[Please share this post, and God will bless you. that is a joke…but feel free to boldly share this.]

{Today is International Women’s Day 2016. Today I thought a lot about what it means to me a woman and I wanted to share some of my thoughts. I still have a lot to learn and at 17 I am still growing into a woman but as I feel that the past few years have been incredibly defining for me and my expectations of “life as a woman” I wanted to write something, also to possibly look back on in a few years. *Disclaimer: English is my second language, excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes.}

I wish I could tell you that today when I thought about what it means to be a woman the first thing that came to mind was how beautiful, magical and strong women are. Unfortunately I have to disappoint you, because the first thoughts coming into my head were all negative, one of them being Insecurities, specifically the insecurity I have about my breasts.

**(I realize that I am incredibly privileged and have nothing to complain about, however since I am so privileged I have the time and energy to think about my insecurities as much as I do and I’m sure most of the people reading this do as well. Most of us don’t have to worry about running from a civil war or how to feed our child so it wont die in the next 24 hours. We are privileged enough to talk and think about things such as insecurities and I feel incredibly lucky that this is one of the main “issues” in my life right now.)

I have always been more mature than most people around me and started going through puberty very early, I got my period when I was 12 and was the tallest girl in my class from year 5 on, however I have always had incredibly small breasts. When I was 13 I started wearing push up bras and my crush told me I was flat chested. When I was 14 I started dating and that’s when I started feeling a little more confident. Guys started calling me “pretty” and “beautiful” at 14 and “hot” at 15 and 16 and no one ever complained about the size of my breasts. I remember asking a guy what he thought of them and he said “It’s fine, they’ll grow”. That was a relieve to me. “They’re gonna grow. It’s just because I’m still young.” I thought to myself. At 15 I also started to grow a following on Instagram and thus received more compliments under my photos, resulting in an ego boost. This was also the time that I threw most of my push up bras away, went vegan, started eating well, got really fit and I can honestly say that for over half a year I was happy with the way I looked.

After turning 16 I went through a break up, friends of mine went through similar situations, school got tougher and I had less time and motivation to prepare healthy meals and exercise.

Before this time I had always felt like a girl, a kid almost. I never considered myself a woman. But at 16 I started to feel like now was the time that I had to turn into a woman, the worst part being that I had (and still have at times) a very false perception of what that actually means. Because at 16 I thought turning into a woman means developing curves like hips, big breasts and a big butt. I believe in my case this is due to 2 things.

1. Media: Because when I was 16 those “Real men like meat, only dogs go for bones.” and “Real women have curves.” quotes started to pop up all over Facebook. Movies and TV Shows are another great example because let’s face it the hot girl that the male characters drool over always has big “cans”. And of course those photos of Victoria’s Secret models all of which are a size 6/8 yet look like they have C and D cups in the shows and catalogues even though most of them actually have very small breasts when you look at natural photos of them (naturally due to their very slim bodies), but hey -  push up bras, tape and makeup can change that and being super skinny and having big breasts at the same time is totally realistic for everyone. (please notice:sarcasm) 2. People around me: Because I can’t count the times I have heard guys say “She has great tits.” or “Man I love big cans”. At 16 (and long before that) for me it was just a fact of life that men love big breasts and when they see them they can’t help but stare at them. And it was also a fact of life that they didn’t just love them, big breasts are important to them because why else would they talk about them so much?

So here’s our situation:Maxi at 16 has an A cup. The first issue: Big breasts are what makes you a woman. The second issue: All guys love big breasts. Maxi thinks (completely irrationally): She is not a real woman. Guys don’t love her breasts. This also matters because it matters what guys think of you. Maxi forgets that breasts don’t actually matter and don’t define you as a person (Maxi still forgets this today sometimes). This resulted in a severe insecurity of mine that I still struggle with today. At the moment my boobs are growing a little bit, but I know that I will never be a C or D cup. I have felt like less of a woman because of this for a while now and at 17 I think about it every day. I feel ashamed to talk about this because I want to be a role model for young girls and show them that you need to love yourself and be confident in order to be truly happy but the truth is that I have not reached that point yet. While I find myself attractive most of the time and I know that so do a lot of other people I still feel incredibly insecure and jealous when I see a girl with beautiful, big breasts, part of me feels like I will never be enough, that I will never be the complete package, that I will never be a “real woman”. I flinch at the words “tits”, “cans” and “jugs”, they make me feel insecure, uncomfortable, objectified and degraded, no matter in what context they are used. But the nicknames women get for their body parts are a whole different story and definitely something I want to address in the future.

I feel incredibly emotional writing about this and I would lie if I told you that this hasn’t made me cry many times. I am in an incredibly happy relationship with someone who has become my best friend and I feel valued, beautiful, intelligent and happy with myself whenever we are together. However I struggle watching movies together with actresses who have big breasts, I struggle walking past a girl with big breasts together not because he has ever told me that mine are small or not enough but simply because “Guys love big tits and they can’t help but look at them” crosses my mind every time and I get all chocked up for a second and this incredible sadness and feeling of insecurity hits me. If you have ever felt like you are not enough you know what I’m talking about. It’s unbelievable.

I am trying to work on this insecurity every day and I know that one day I will be able to overcome it. I try to constantly remind myself of the fact that I am so much more than the size of my breasts. I am my thoughts, my dreams, my talents, my work ethic, my strength and my empathy. I am more than a piece of flesh. I have a soul, a brain - I matter ! I have learned that it’s a very hard and possibly never ending process to get over an insecurity but I believe it will be worth it in the end.

I wanted to share this because I know we all have our insecurities and sometimes we feel like we are alone but we forget that so many other people are going through exactly the same thing. I also wanted to share this because today I asked myself what it means to be a woman and I realized that I actually don’t know the answer to that.I want to know what you think it means to be a “woman”. Because after having this false perception of it for so long I am incredibly confused. Feel free to reblog this adding a sentence of what you think being a woman is all about, I would love to know all of your thoughts!

Thank you for reading this incredibly personal and emotional post, I look forward to writing more in the future (hopefully planned more carefully).

Much love and good luck with your insecurities,x Maxi

so i guess the lateist thin in the monosexual ttag is someone made a comment ab out not understandin mono sexuality???? or called IT weird?????? well,,, i do n’t understannd monose xu aliety…. note,, i don’t say “gay sexuality” is we ird, or “straiighhht sexuality”… ie say monosexual because - for me - bein attraccted to only one gender is a completely alien concept…. i have noa frame oif referrrence for it,,, i have no idea what it FEELS like because i have had attractionsss to multi ple genders for as long aus i’ ve been atttt racted to peop le…. i,,,, literally,,,, do not undeerstand what it is l ike to be monosexual…. that is not a value s tatemmment (i am not disparagin bein attract ed to one gender) - iat’s simply the truth….. i also doe not understand what it’s like TO be a woman…. or trans.. or an oppressed race…. am i bein homophobiccc by ssayin thaut??????

warning: rant

So I was eating lunch today with some (all male) coworkers who like superheroes also. They don’t read comics, they just like the movies and are nostalgic about old Marvel TV shows like X-Men and Spider-man (not that there is anything wrong with that, I love talking about Marvel with any and all fans). The conversation turned to the rapidly upcoming Avengers 2 Age of Ultron film. Then this happened.

“Yeah so, I’m glad that they’re being true to the comics since Tony Stark makes Ultron and all.”

I probably should have just kept my big geek mouth shut, but I couldn’t stop myself. Like word vomit in the Mean Girls movie, sometimes I don’t shut up. 

“No, Hank Pym makes Ultron.” Then I added, since they don’t read comics, “You know, Ant-man. But Tony Stark does make more sense in the movies. I’m excited to see it happen in the film.”

“No, I’m pretty sure Tony Stark did. He’s like the genius engineer in Marvel. I just read wikipedia on it a few days ago.”

“I’ve read both the old silver age Avengers comics with Ultron and the Age of Ultron series that the movie is named after, I am 100% sure Hank Pym made Ultron. The whole "mad tinkerer” thing is kind of his shtick.“

A different coworker chimed in.

"I… don’t think you’re right. I mean, Ant-man doesn’t do robots, right. Guy talks to ants." 

"Trust me, the fact that Hank Pym made Ultron was a major plot point in the Age of Ultron comic book. The heroes argue over whether or not it is appropriate to go back and time and assassinate him to stop Ultron from ever happening. I know this.” I wasn’t budging. 

“…I guess.”

Then the subject got changed back to work stuff. 

But you know, I was fuming. They know that I read comic books, and they’ve admitted they never had. I wear my geekiness on my sleeve. I have a Marvel lanyard I wear to work. She-Hulk is my phone’s background. Rogue is on my keychain. Someday I want a vanity plate that says “Hawkguy”. Pretty much my whole wardrobe that isn’t “professional” work crap is Marvel t-shirts. 

Maybe I’m just putting words in my coworkers’ mouths, but I feel like I was immediately discredited simply because I’m a woman. These co-workers have never second-guessed me in a professional dispute, they absolutely respect and value my input when it comes to our patients. But the moment I’m talking about geek culture, their culture, I am treated like an outsider.

I could have definitively proven him wrong by bringing up wikipedia on my phone, where it is like the second sentence on Ultron’s wikipedia page (you know, been that person). I could have tried to prove my greek cred to them. Told them I have surrendered my walk-in closet to my long-box collection. (Because when confronted with having less clothes and having less comics, I decided to give clothes to Goodwill.) Showed them a picture of my fireplace mantle, covered in collectibles that I probably was irresponsible in splurging on. Showed them my Near Mint copy of  Savage She-Hulk #1 that was pretty much the most romantic anniversary present anyone has ever gotten me. Hell, showed them this very blog where I spend hours of my leisure time enthusing about comic books with other fans. 

But I didn’t want to. I shouldn’t have to prove that I’m a fan to anyone. 

Sorry for the long-ass rant, followers. I just felt like I needed to vent to someone who understands. 

So I have this huge thing in my life and I haven’t been able to find it written anywhere that I relate to, although I’ve searched, but it seems so INFJ to me and I’m wondering if you guys feel the same–
Based on how guarded and private we are, how we feel very misunderstood, how we’re very sensitive, eccentric, sometimes excessive due to passion, all that, I can see how my INFJ personality relates to my absolute overwhelming insecurity. I have this insecurity with my relationships, platonic or not, that I find massive. Without ever thinking it or convincing myself of it or really any feeling any other way, I automatically assume that no one likes me. And if they say they do, I don’t believe them. I don’t believe they actually care. They don’t know what they’re getting themselves into. There’s always someone better. They can tell me they care but if I see them an hour later with someone else, the jealousy doesn’t enrage me, it supports this point in my head that proves no one will ever chose me. It’s totally about my trust issues, my inability to be vulnerable, the way that I’m always misunderstood. Because I feel like no one comprehends who I really am enough to 1.) value it, 2.) talk about it accurately in a way that I can trust their judgment, 3.) just simply actually care about me. I have lots of confidence in myself but no confidence that people would ever see appreciate my goodness. Even if they say they do, I feel like they can leave the next day. I don’t really know what they’re feeling and it’s so plausible that they might just lose interest in me, give up, quit. And I don’t want to be hurt or clingy or, really, the one in the vulnerable position.
It’s crazy how much it dominates my life. I’m so insecure and it’s pretty impossible for me to ever feel safe and secure in any relationships. I have such trust issues and it’s hard for me to open up, allow someone to have control of my emotions, because that trust is so, so, so hard to give and I am so, so, so guarded.

There are too many INFJ traits in this problem for it to be only mine. Maybe just my specific personality as an individual just mixes and emphasizes this insecurity to me along with the INFJ inclination. How about you?

canthre  asked:

If you don't mind I'd like to ask for more of your headcanons: what is your view on Loki's childhood in MCU? Was he really neglected or is he oversensitive of his status?

edit: also to add that never think I mind talking about Loki, I stg it’s one of my favorite things to do. as should be evident.

Oh man. I feel like I’ve talked about this before, and the minefield I feel there is in the dichotomy fandom often makes between “really neglected” and “just oversensitive”, because I feel like the answer is “it’s complicated”. 

I don’t think that there was malicious intent, first of all. I think that Odin and Frigga genuinely loved Loki and wanted to do right by him. But intent, of course, isn’t everything, and parents are human and screw up. Different people react differently to things, and sometimes that can be perceived as someone “making things up” or “oversensitivity” when it might just as easily be a case of differing needs - which I think was a big part of the problem. I think that part of the problem was that Loki and Thor were treated equally - but what Loki needed was different from what Thor did. 

And I do think there was a certain amount of value judgment. Thor’s personality fit better both in Asgard and with the general milieu of the environment, which meant that his talents were encouraged, his value was more easily recognized. Thor was/is also louder - more willing to demand, more able to communicate his needs directly, more outward facing in general. Loki’s particular personality, on the other hand, was prone to being misread. Frigga says in Thor that she and Odin “didn’t want him to feel different”, but there’s a trap there: Loki already felt different, and got the message that he shouldn’t be that. As a result of trying to make Loki feel the same, Loki felt as though he was somehow wrong for being not the same. 

I think that there was a lot of repeated, gradual patterns of Loki’s needs not being recognized or met, and therefore Loki declining to express those needs, and growing to resent those around him for feeling as though he was required to do so. 

Then there’s the fact that I think as a result of being royalty there was a lot of pressure to present a certain way, which meant that Loki’s insecurities and upsets had to be masked and hidden. Loki learned, I think, that his emotions were a secret to be hidden away, because negative emotion that wasn’t anger was unseemly and inappropriate in public - and often, I think, uncomfortable in private. I don’t think Frigga does well with family upsets, and I don’t think Odin does well with non-anger emotion in general. The way that Loki substitutes anger for all of his emotions suggests, to me, that that was one of the only acceptable ways of admitting to emotion. 

But Loki also struggles to communicate any of this - both because that communication was, directly or indirectly, discouraged, but also because his particular communication style is oblique and sort of sideways, making it hard to interpret. Loki is perceptive, good at figuring out what people are thinking. He kind of expects other people to be the same, so when people can’t figure out what he’s trying to communicate subtly he attributes it to them not caring. 

And then there’s Thor. Siblings hurt each other - that’s just a fact. But the thing is that I think Loki is overall more sensitive and has a harder time letting go of things than Thor does. So something would go wrong, Thor would hurt Loki, and either he wouldn’t recognize it happening or would think that it was resolved when it wasn’t. And in the former case - I think when confronted, naturally, Thor would get defensive - I didn’t mean it, things didn’t happen that way, this wouldn’t bother me so why would it bother you, and so on. There’s a bit in “Road to Nowhere” that really enscapulates a lot of this for me:

Loki laughed, sharp and harsh. “So there was no difference between your ‘teasing’ of me and that of the rest?”

“If it bothered you, you might have said something!” Thor said, voice rising.

“And be branded a coward? More of one than I already was, that is. Or a whiner? Or whatever else pleased your friends that day, when your taunts gave them permission?” The sound Loki made did not sound much like a laugh at all. “I think not, Thor. Better to give back the same that I received than to go mewling to you about my wounded feelings.”

Thor jerked back. “It was not like that,” he said, angrily. Loki turned and sneered at him.

“Oh? Was it not? I lived it, Thor, I think I remember-”

“I lived it as well,” Thor interrupted, “and I remember none of this cruelty that you describe-”

“You would not,” Loki said, his voice suddenly thick with disgust. He turned his back again, the edge fading out of his voice, leaving it dull. “Such was the way of things, Thor. What was everything to me meant nothing to you. I ought to have realized that an age ago, but perhaps I am as much a fool as you.”

Basically - it’s a convergence of a lot of unfortunate things. Miscommunication, Loki’s already strained mental health (unrecognized, I think, for what it was), a tendency to avoid conflict for the sake of appearances (leading to things being suppressed and therefore unresolved), and the fact that Loki was told, well-meaning but still harmful, that his difference was a problem (with him), because being different is bad. There’s the dissonance in recognition simply because Thor’s talents are more obvious and more in line with Aesir values, and the dissonance with the fact that even as Odin says they are both born to be kings, he’s clearly grooming Thor as the heir. 

It’s not a case of either/or - it’s both. There’s a thousand ways things could have gone differently on either side - Loki could react differently, better, express himself more clearly. Odin or Frigga could recognize the problems with the way they were parenting. It’s messy and complicated, like all families, and it accumulates in such a way that it adds up to tragedy. 

This is one of the saddest things to me about Loki: the way that accumulation leads him, step by step, to conclude that the only way he can possibly reach any kind of satisfaction is making himself a villain - but even that ends up being hollow. 

Socionics Quadra and Hogwarts Houses Correlation

Introduction: This is just for fun. For those who do not understand socionics but would like to, I hope this idea helps to learn about the quadras, in a much more entertaining way. The Socionics Quadras are defined by values, as within each quadra are types that share the same valued functions (see below for elaborative details) Four seems to be such an appropriate number for any type of personality system. Just because I am drawing parallels between them, it doesn’t mean the characters in HP belong to that quadra. For example, Harry Potter is an ESI in socionics, but I have labelled the Gryffindor house as the Beta Quadra (Harry was meant to be in Slytherin really though, only he desperately didn’t want to). So please don’t assume your quadra based on your pottermore test result or something. The purpose of this post is simply to enhance your understanding and for interest in the topic. Of course, the sortings are a simplification, therefore I have assigned a secondary quadra to each house.

Before I begin, here is a functions explanation: 

Delta Quadra = Ne/Si and Fi/Te (equivalents: INFP, ENFP, ISTJ, ESTJ)
Gamma Quadra = Ni/Se and Fi/Te (ISFP, ESFP, INTJ, ENTJ)
Alpha Quadra = Ne/Si and Fe/Ti (ENTP, INTP. ISFJ, ESFJ)
Beta Quadra = Ni/Se and Fe/Ti (ISTP, ESTP, INFJ, ENFJ)

                                             Alpha - Hufflepuff!

“Students belonging to this house are known to be hard-working, friendly, loyal, honest and rather impartial. It may be that due to their values, Hufflepuffs are not as competitive as the other houses, or are more modest about their accomplishments. Hufflepuff is the most inclusive among the four houses; valuing hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play rather than a particular aptitude in its membersments” - Wikia

Reinin characterizes this Quadra as “Judicious, Merry, and Democratic”. Alpha types enjoy to discuss highly theoretical concepts as a source of intellectual stimulation and fun rather than for their practical merits. They tend to value logically consistent beliefs and ideas, and behaviour that is consistent with personal values. They typically prefer to perform these ideas in group activity. The participation of group is enjoyable when their is a free exchange of positive emotional expression whilst being in an atmosphere that is pleasing to the senses. Alphas tend to find a discussion unfavourable if the subject regards personal relationships while in a group, especially if this leads to confrontation. They are inclined to be tolerating of minor past misdeeds by others, giving priority to reconciliation and a convivial atmosphere. Investments that require long term commitment and up keep tend to be avoided, instead preferring investments that offer a reliable outcome with minimum involvement (Alpha NTs in particular). An ideal Alpha group situation is the exchange of light-hearted jokes while discussing imaginative ideas, movies, or sometimes sports, all while enjoying pleasant food and drink. Narrating personal experiences usually takes the form of telling a joke; funny personal experiences are preferred over “serious” ones.(Second Quadra: Delta)

                                              Beta - Gryffindor 

“The Gryffindor house emphasises the traits of courage as well as “daring, nerve, and chivalry,” and thus its members are generally regarded as brave, though sometimes to the point of recklessness. They can also be short-tempered. Notably, Gryffindor house contributed many members to Dumbledore’s Army and the Order of the Phoenix, although this may have been because the main members made it a point not to associate with other houses.
According to Phinaes Nigellus Black, members of other houses, particularly Slytherin, sometimes feel that Gryffindors engage in “pointless heroics.” Another Slytherin, Severus Snape, considered many Gryffindors to be self-righteous and arrogant, with no regard for rules.” - Wikia

According to the Reinin dichotomies, the Beta quadra characterizes as “Decisive”, “Merry” and “Aristocratic”. Beta Quadra types are energized in competitive situations where analytical tactics are emphasized. In group activity, a common emotional atmosphere where the whole group participates is generally more favourable. They have more confidence in analyzing the realistic characteristics of situations / people / objects rather than the alternative and could-be scenarios. Beta types tend to give more value to feelings when they are demonstrated with clear emotional expression, and tend to increase the level of their own emotional expression in order to get a reaction from other people, due to the values to extroverted feeling. Beta NFs tend to show a deep concern about social issues and where the world is heading, believing apathy is the significant cause of societal problems (Fe-Ni). Beta types are not inclined to enjoy discussions of personal experiences when the discussion is on a person’s inner feelings. (Second Quadra: Gamma)

                                             Delta - Ravenclaw 

“Ravenclaw House prizes learning, wisdom, wit, and intellect in its members.[3] Thus, many Ravenclaws tend to be academically motivated and talented students. Ravenclaws also pride themselves in being original in their ideas, and methods. It’s not unusual to find Ravenclaw students practicing especially different types of magic that other houses might shun.” 

 Reinin characterizes the Delta Quadra as Judicious, Serious, and Aristocratic. Delta’s value peaceful activities where they have the opportunity to do something useful whilst balancing out their inner world at the same time. To achieve their goals they would rather rely on their own industriousness than group efforts, strong leadership, and speculation. They make a point of of talking about the rationale behind their actions, and emphasize the extent of productivity, the different methods of which things could be done - including areas of personal relationships. In an insightful, non dramatic manner Deltas love to share their own sentiments regarding their personal experiences. However, Delta types (specifically Delta STs) rarely display their deep passions and visions, preferring to talk in more neutral terms. They typically favour wry humour and understatement, rejecting dramaticism and emotional effects. They only take groups seriously when they perform a common productive or restful activity. Delta NFs do not fare well in high pressure situations, but wear out quickly and prefer a peaceful and welcoming environment. (Second Quadra: Alpha)

                                          Slytherin - Gamma

“Slytherins tend to be ambitious, shrewd, cunning, strong leaders, and achievement-oriented. They also have highly developed senses of self-preservation.[7] This means that Slytherins tend to hesitate before acting, so as to weigh all possible outcomes before deciding exactly what should be done.” - Harry Potter Wikia

The Reinin traits that distinguish Gamma from other quadras are “decisive,” “serious,” and “democratic.”.Gamma types take a longer-term view regarding efficiency and profitability, giving lower priority to the short term. Likewise, they tend to aim at the broader benefits of decisions, rather than only at those affecting themselves, giving them an inclination for self-sacrifice. They like to talk about where present trends are leading in terms of potentially profitable events and undertakings. Ideas and concepts must be be firmly connected to factual information. A hard line approach regarding ethical principles is taken with punishment, or revenge even. They like to discuss personal relationships in a realistic manner, perhaps taking an sceptical attitude to the ideology that bad people could ever become good. This quadra does not tend to form or maintain groups based on fun and emotional interaction - especially Gamma NTs (Gamma SFs can conform to the nature of group discussion due to their talents in Fe and Si blocks, although those functions are not valued). Therefore Gamma types reject the idea that it is best to avoid confrontations so as not to spoil the mood of those present, preferring a directness in settling or a least discussing disagreements. It is Gamma SFs in particular (due to Se-ego) that do not see much point in deeply analysing ideas that they see as having little practical application or connection to reality. In group discussion laughter and very obvious displays of emotion are subdued, instead, there is a lot of smiling, amusement with ironic and witty remarks or, when serious subjects or not very happy personal experiences are discussed, a serious demeanour. Even such small groups tend to split into smaller ones; perhaps 3 is the ideal “group” size for Gammas. (Second Quadra: Beta)

sources: sociotype.com, wikia.

Camille O’Connell deserved better

I’m sure that most of you have watched the recent episode of The Originals and that you know about what has happened to our beloved brave bartender. I wanted to take a moment to write about my feelings regarding Cami’s death and what will happen to this blog as well my other blog @fuckyeahcamilleoconnell now that she is dead.

When I first heard about the spoilers and rumors that they would kill off not only one but two female main characters in just one episode, I shrugged these off, thought that all the messages I got because of these “spoilers” were nothing to be worried about because I couldn’t imagine that a show could be stupid enough to not only kill one, but two female main characters in only one episode and on top of that, one female they had already killed off only ten episodes earlier. I couldn’t believe that any show could be that stupid, most of all not The Originals. Not Michael Narducci, who didn’t strike me as one of those writers that only care about shock value.

Well, I was wrong. The writing did get this stupid.

(Under a cut because this got really long.)

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My Capricorn Friends

I’ll be honest, my relationships with Capricorns have tended to be…rocky. They have not been the easiest friends to have. They can be troubled, tedious, worrisome. Strangely immature, petty, self absorbed. Growing up with them  I saw their reckless actions actions born of a nearly desperate need for acceptance, love, admiration.  So hungry, so thirsty, so mean sometimes.  I could never get too comfortable around them because I knew whatever it is that they were truly after, they would do anything to get. I would be stupid to allow myself to be vulnerable in their presence. I knew I had to be smarter around them. I had to get colder if they were involved.  

Relationships with them were hard work. Master classes in learning to forgive and finding strength in my inexperience. Their loyalty was truly earned by showing them that I was smarter than they knew.  They might have forced themselves into situations that gave them an elders sight.  But I knew exactly who I was, there was no competition, and the second they knew that, they got nicer. 

And for these reasons I am truly grateful. My Capricorn friends remind me how much intelligence and self reliance is necessary for survival.  They remind me to tighten up my game and get my own personal shit together. They remind me how dangerous it can be to assume or expect safety and security in a world where nothing is guaranteed and every one is out for themselves.  But most importantly I am grateful to them for showing me the value of forgiveness and what growth really is because through all our shared dramas, my Capricorn friends are some of my oldest friends. Through my Capricorn friends I have learned that maturing is not about learning to control emotions or having the most experience or being the bigger person or wiser or whatever. I have learned through them that maturing is simply allowing yourself and others to be at peace, without the traffic or the static or the fear. And the value of knowing this is immeasurable. Even a Capricorn couldn’t put a price on it.

2015 recap part 2 - May, June, July, August

2015 recap part 1 - January, Feburary, March, April
2015 recap part 3 - September, October, November, December

full length page (because tumblr won’t let me post this all at once)

Hello, it’s me for the second time, haha. As I promised, here’s the 2015 recap. I tried to fit everything in, but of course I might’ve forgotten something, so feel free to message me to add something/explain etc. When it comes to locations, a lot of arrivals are staged of course, so you can’t take everything at face value, I am simply linking what I have ok.

note: this is larry centric because that’s who I am as a person (meaning locations, moments etc.), there should be all ot4 events and interviews (i hope) and Zayn stuff after he left that is somehow related to the boys.

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doublesnake-eyes  asked:

Opinion on pro-choice?

I belive people who are prochoice are prochoice because they truly believe they care for women. They believe the value of an adult woman is higher then the value of an unborn human being. They say it’s because of the unborn humans inability to have sentience. I believe that the alleviation of a woman suffering from fear, abandonament, abuse, poverty, during an unplanned pregnancy is of more value to them then saving the life of a human being without so much as a name or voice. To them, taking the life of this “insignificant” human being is a lesser evil then a woman suffering. The nature of prochoice is simply one must choose between the two, and in this choice their is empowerment and control.

But I am prolife, because I do belive it is possible to care for both the woman and the unborn human being. I believe that one does not and should not have to choose, both lives should matter, both the woman suffering and the unborn being.

I don’t believe the intentions of people who are prochoice are usually evil. Most likely most of them have experienced sufferings or witnessed sufferings that they imagine a woman is going through. They’ve probably experienced or believe in most of the stigma around families, children, young adults parenting, or poverty. To them, solutions to social issues are few and far between. People become desperate in their despair, and taking away the life of a human being that is hidden from this world to protect themselves from sufferings seems like an acceptable solution.

There’s also the belief in society as fertility viewed as a disease, and children as a financial burden. Children are viewed as the end all to fun and happiness. We are told that financial stability is more important then love, and living in poverty viewed as a crime or abuse against children. People are still rated and judged in value according to their ability, wealth, race, class, age and for what they can positively produce for society.

But, we know what society upholds isn’t the truth. Abortion exists because people are weighed and found without value, and in order for this to end, we must reach a point where we see human value for what it really is, precious beyond any form of measurement. Our value is in our exsistance; simply by exsistance we are precious. As long as we dehumanize others, the unborn will be viewed as less than human.

No human being should have the legal right to place themselves above the life of another, and find that life to be of less or no value. But the problem is, the abortion mentality goes beyond abortion, to within our own scales in which we measure others. Our look of disgust towards the homeless, our scoff towards those in poverty, and above all in our pride, envy, greed and our search for personal pleasure and happiness at the cost of others. Am I radical for believing in the equal value of all human beings? Yes I am. I am equal in value to both the unborn, and prochoice people.

My life as an INFJ

Ni:I lack the “inner library” that si-ne users are known for having; every experience is new to me and I use the information in front of me to figure out the likely end result of that situation. Because of this, I am usually confident in my own ability to “figure something out” and am usually very confident about my own observations and intuitions. I am very future-oriented, and have long-term abstract goals for what I want to accomplish in my life, and usually know whether or not I will actually accomplish them, and what I need to do to achieve my goals. It is hard for me to live in the moment. 

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I’m gonna start with an apology, because this got long hella fast. I’m not used to being so pissed off at a fucking television show.

Next, I’m gonna ‘splain something to you:

I don’t give a hot damn how many speeches Mary makes about asserting her independence, because that’s not what she’s doing. Stop giving her props for looking imperious and giving pretty speeches, because the first thing she did after telling off her dear mama was—you guessed it—run straight to Conde to plead for him to join her.

Mind you, when the real Mary finally returned to Scotland,she took her gurls with her because that’s how she rolled. She didn’t run to some dude all 

You wanna stand alone and be independent and shit? Then don’t make your first priority finding some guy to go with you. You’re queen of a whole goddamn country and you have bigger fish to fry other than making heart eyes at your post-rape romance.

Mary isn’t asserting her independence right now. She’s being a bloody idiot.

As for the Mary-hate people keep complaining about:

If you can tell me one decent, non-Conde related thing she has done in the past several episodes, I’ll give you a cookie. Stop equating hating Mary with some sort of latent misogyny, or implying that people are too blinded by Francis’curls to see clearly. 

I don’t hate Mary right now because she pushed Francis away after her rape. I hate her because she’s acting like an asshole.

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My Experiment with Pay-What-You-Want Print Comics

Last week, I was a special guest at AlleyCon, a small English Language nerd-culture convention in Gwangju (South Korea’s 6th largest city.) I’ve sold at a number of Korean conventions, to varying degrees of success, but I was excited for this one. I’m a nobody in the Korean teen comic crowd but English-speaking nerds? Those are my people! Surely I could interest a few of them in my wares.

But there were only 200 attendees! I’d been to cons with thousands of people where I sold only 3 books, so I was scared of another long, awkward day at a card table not selling anything.

I was more interested in sharing my work than leaving rich anyway, so at the very last minute I decided— what the heck. I would try something new. A name-your-price table. I’d had great success online, but when selling real-world objects that cost money to produce, it’s risky business! I was just excited to meet some fellow foreign nerds in Korea and show them my comics, so I went forward with the plan.

I put a bunch of books in my table and decided to see what the market thought they were worth. Would they be more generous than me? Or would I end up losing my shirt after everyone grabbed up my books for less than it cost to print them?

I found out when I arrived that I wasn’t alone in taking on the experiment…

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photo by Waygook Photography I was just across from a pay-what-you-want Banana Bread table. (run by Kiki!) And a few floors below a guy who does pay-what-you-want iPhone repair. Good company to be in.

First of all:

Holy shoot. Everyone at AlleyCon was so amazing. It turns out I wasn’t introducing them to my work- it seems I taught at least 75% of the people there learned how to read Korean with my weird Hangeul comic. I had so many people come up and say such nice things and make me feel like a celebrity and holy shoot that was one of the best days of my life.

It feels kind of crass summing the whole thing up in terms of dollar amounts, but everyone there seemed to enjoy my ultra-nerdy numbers-filled talk about being an independent artist, so I’m sure they’d enjoy this super-ultra-nerdy breakdown of they money that I made there in the building.

So how did I do?

I sold $200 worth of comics (at cover price.) I made $300.

That’s 150% of what I would have charged.

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Even better, that’s $1.50 per attendee at the con, including the ones that bought tickets and didn’t show up. 300 bucks might not seem like a lot of money, but that’s like making 2.76 million at San Diego Comic Con.

How to people decide what to pay?

It really did seem to work as it was supposed to. People paid according to the value the book gave them.

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The most expensive book at my table, Aki Alliance— which I normally sell for 4 bucks, was the least-earning book. It usually went for around a dollar or two. That’s because it’s translated into Korean, so wasn’t worth a whole lot to an English-Speaking audience.
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The cheapest book at my table, Learn To Read Korean in 15 Minutes— which I usually sell for 2 bucks, was the highest-earning book at the table by a WIDE margin. People were paying 5, 10, 15 bucks for that sucker, and getting doubles for their friends. That’s because most visitors had come to my table to thank me for making that very book. They’d already read it, but the purchase was often treated as a sort of tip for helping them adapt into Korean life. The little card-sized minibooks, that I usually sell in 3-packs for 2 bucks got almost no buyers. Likely because people felt awkward paying less than a dollar while I was looking at them, and didn’t want to spend more than a dollar on something that tiny. The most generous sales happened right after my panel on how to be an independent international artist. Once again, it seemed to be as a ‘thank you’ for the (hopefully useful) information I’d given them. People were also more generous when asking to buy books at the after-party or at the hostel the next morning.

Did guilt have something to do with it?

Yes, but not as much as I’d expected it to. I made it a point not to take anyone’s money myself, but rather have them throw it into a big red bucket while I made eye contact and pretended like I didn’t peek. People were still generous!

People were even generous when I was nowhere to be seen! Occasionally, when I had a panel to run or an event to get to, I would leave my table unattended with a sign that said just to throw money in the bucket and I would always come back to find it full of more money.

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What did I learn from this? I think what I learned is that every convention is different.

This was MY CON. Many were already familiar with my work, so they placed value in getting it directly from the creator. They are all trying to adapt to Korea, so they place value in a comic that teaches them to read Korean. It was almost entirely attended by college educated adults working as teachers. Therefore they place value in education. Many told me they were stationed in small rural towns. Therefore they had money to spend on geeky things that weren’t available where they lived, and placed value in having geeky things come to them. The convention was largely gaming-focused, so people were familiar with pay-what-you-want projects like The Humble Bundle, so they placed value in seeing it experimented with.

I think the real test would be to try it at, say, Busan Comic World. The reason my cover prices are so low is because that’s where I usually sell them. Those attendees seem to be in their early teens, without jobs or money of their own, from a culture without tipping (service workers are simply paid a higher wage by their employer) and that has no idea who in the heck I am except that weird foreigner who’s always there. They come to the show to get fun, cheaply priced merch from their favorite fandoms. They usually buy bookmarks or stickers, so they’re used to spending less than a dollar. So my weird unfamiliar comics don’t have as much value. If I let people name their price there I would likely end up with a lot more coins than bills. (though I’ll totally give it a try.)

There have been a lot of think-pieces lately about ‘what’s killing cons’ and I have to say that— nothing’s killing cons. There are smazing conventions everywhere, from major cities, to small towns. Each one has its own culture. Some focus on fandom, some on indie creators, some on gaming, some on anime, some on cosplay, some on tv and movies.

Everyone goes to conventions for different reasons and it’s totally cool if noticing you exist doesn’t even factor in at all. People spend buttloads of money to attend cons and no one gets to tell them what they have to care about. If you don’t do well, maybe it’s because you aren’t offering something those people put value in. Maybe your approach needs tweaking, or maybe it’s not the con for you!

Look at the con, the culture, the people who are there and the things they place value in and if what you have to offer doesn’t fit into that equation, try another con! Who knew the most best con I’d ever go to would be a tiny Gwangju, South Korea con that just one year ago consisted of 60 people playing board games in a bar.

(if anyone from AlleyCon is reading this, THANK YOU SO MUCH for making me feel like a star! And if Kiki is reading this, let us know how your banana bread experiment worked out!)


When I quit the band, over a year ago, we were on an indefinite hiatus. There was no drama or anger involved, and the other guys were very understanding. They are supportive of my doing whatever makes me happy and that goes both ways.

To put it simply, my musical interests have led me in a different direction. Upon rejoining, and throughout my time in the band, I was very excited about exploring the musical possibilities inherent in a rock band, and doing so with those people in particular. A couple of years ago, I began to feel that same excitement again, but this time it was about making a different kind of music, alone, and being my own engineer.

I really love the band and what we did. I understand and value that my work with them means a lot to many people, but I have to follow my interests. For me, art has never been something done out of a sense of duty. It is something I do because it is really fun, exciting, and interesting. Over the last 12 years, I have changed, as a person and artist, to such a degree that to do further work along the lines I did with the band would be to go against my own nature. There was no choice involved in this decision. I simply have to be what I am, and have to do what I must do.

Sending love and gratitude to you all.

—  John Frusciante