i have to see this you don't understand

anonymous asked:

Honestly I want to cry. I love Magnus so much. He's honestly such amazing bi representation and poc representation- very specifically Asian- and Harry himself is an actual angel. I just... want him to get more love and respect? And I'll be honest I'm white and bisexual and it breaks my heart and I honestly can't imagine how much worse it must be for fans of color and LGBTQ fans of color. I just am sad, sorry for this ask.

i’m just going to be brutally honest and say that white ppl can criticize this show and walk away and still find their rep elsewhere; as a queer se asian i … can’t. like i don’t. have much else?? this is it for us. this is all we get

so it’s uncomfortable when i see the criticisms from white ppl leveled @ the show as if they somehow get it, as if it hurts them just as bad or they’re just as disappointed. like…no, you don’t get it. you just don’t. and it isn’t a slight against white fandom i’m happy you guys are lucky enough you can look elsewhere but please remember that you are in fact lucky enough to be able to look elsewhere

If you think you’re worthless, stop scrolling right now and read.

I’m writing this for a specific mutual, but it isn’t only true for one person, so read on.

You know those inspirational posts you see people reblog every day?

Stuff about people all throughout history who failed and went bankrupt and were depressed and were told they weren’t good enough - and yet somehow they rose above it and defied all those notions to become heroes and legends and history makers and culture movers. And the post always ends with “so don’t be hard on yourself when you mess up” and it’s all nice and sweet and pretty. Maybe you scroll past them. Maybe you hardly ever see them on your dash at all.

Maybe you’re among those who reblogs these posts.

But maybe every time you hit the reblog or the like button, your brain is whispering “this isn’t about you” and “yes people can do amazing things, but not you” and “ah yes amazing stories, too bad it will never happen to you” and you listen to these whisperings and you laugh and shake your head…

Because you know exactly where you stand: worthless. irredeemable. a loser. a lost cause.

Please.

Please.

Listen to me.

As your friend.

As a stranger who doesn’t know you. Who doesn’t have to know you, or your failings, or your depression, or your anxiety, or your embarrassments, or your deepest darkest most heinous crimes.

Stop.

Just stop.

Look up. Look around you. Open. Your. Eyes. Are they open? Good. Keep them open. Don’t ever close them again. See the world. See you: a human being, valid, flawed, journeying, changing, growing, scraping, failing, rising, a masterpiece that will never be made again.

You are beautiful. You who think you are overweight and lazy. You are beautiful. You who think you are stupid and uneducated. You are beautiful. You who think you are a loser, and amount to nothing. You are beautiful. You who bleed and ache and never rest. You are beautiful.

You have worth.

Want to know a secret? If you wake up in the morning and tell yourself you’re not going to amount to anything that day, then you aren’t going to. If you go to bed at night thinking nothing will change tomorrow, then you are going to change nothing.

Because you’ve resigned yourself to that lie. And it is a lie, friend. A straight-out, soul-condemning, out-of-the-pit, self-deprecating, self-pitying lie. A lie you don’t have to believe. A lie you should not believe.

If you stand in the corner and bow your head and stare at the ground, you’ve already lost the battle without fighting. This is a surrender in which there is no honor, and in it there is no hope.

Life isn’t easy, friend. Life isn’t fair. It’s hard. And getting things done is hard. Some days, just getting up out of bed is hard. Just breathing. Just doing homework. Just going to work. Just trying to keep the dishes and trash from overflowing.

But we do it anyway.

Why? Because there’s life to live. There are choices to be made. Jokes to laugh at. Awkward conversations to be had. Art to mess up and start over on. Jobs to work. Pizza to be eaten.

We do it anyway.

So guess what?

You do it anyway too.

Why? Because of this:

You are special.

Right now, this second, turn off the voice that hears these Disney-fied words and scoffs and ignores them. Listen.

There is not a human being who has ever lived or ever will live on this planet that is not important, that is not here for a reason. No life is worthless, and most certainly not yours. My God doesn’t make worthless things, and he doesn’t make mistakes. There are no extra pieces in this universe, no spare parts. He made you. And he made you for a purpose, and that purpose is not to sit in your room, afraid to try, afraid to love, afraid to hope, afraid to climb and fall and hurt and get back up again.

Want to know another secret? You aren’t alone. Every single human being in the history of everything has struggled with feeling worthless at some point in their life. Every single one. That is not a lie. Your feelings of worthlessness are not what is special about you. You are what is special about you. The God who created you is what is special about you.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you have failed to do, someone else has gone through worse. Sometimes, a lot worse.

Oh, now you feel invalidated. “Why can’t I just believe in myself? Other people have it worse, I shouldn’t complain, I should just try harder, but I know trying harder isn’t going to help, so what’s the point.”

Guess what?

Stop that too.

Stop it dead in its tracks.

Kill that thought. Every day. Every morning. Every minute it shows its ugly lying face. Kill it and put it to rest. Stack headstones on top of it and move away, far far way, friend.

Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know where you’ve been, but you don’t know where I’ve been either. Don’t ignore hope because you think it’s for other people. Don’t keep yourself from making an effort, and pushing yourself forward. Bury the lie. You have worth. You are loved. You are important. God does not make worthless things.

One of my favorite lyrics says “How does it end when the war that you’re in is just you against you against you? You’ve got to learn to love, learn to love your enemies too.”

Learn to love.

Your enemy.

Yourself.

Start learning to see you the way God sees you.

See you the way I see you.

Perfect.

Worthwhile.

Amazing.

Just at the very beginning.

Every single day you wake up is a brand new start.

A bright new chance. Every. Single. One. You will never stop getting chances for as long as you are here, so why dismiss them? Isn’t that the most beautiful thing there is? You get to keep trying. Every single day. You have the gift to go again, try again, start again, live again, breathe again, hope again.

Guess what. When the morning is wasted, the afternoon is still there. When the afternoon is wasted, the evening is still there. When the evening is wasted, the night is still there. And then morning comes again.

So the next time you see a motivational post, an inspiring reblog, a story about how someone overcame something horrible, and turned it into something amazing, look long and hard and take courage, find hope in that. Stop dismissing it as being from a universe you have no part in. Stop putting yourself to that measuring stick and turning away because you’re not there yet.

You’re looking at the end result. At some point, they were standing in your shoes. They couldn’t see the end. They couldn’t see what they might or might not amount to. They had no idea, just like you now. Just exactly like you.

Hope, my friend. Every time you start to think “I can/will never” do this or that or amount to anything or accomplish anything… Hope. Stop those thoughts immediately. Kill them. Bury them. Never stop burying them. They are lies and you are better than them.

Drive them out. Open your eyes. Look around. Pick yourself up. Brush away the tears. “I will try. My God doesn’t make worthless things, so I am not worthless. My God does not create without meaning, so I have meaning. I am here for a reason. Today I will live to find out what that reason is for today. And tomorrow I will hope again.”

Life is hard, my friend. Stop beating yourself up. You are worth more and capable of more than you can ever imagine or hope or dream. Don’t let your past or present failures stop you or beat you down. Keep going, keep hoping, keep killing the lies. You are bigger than them, you go beyond them. And God is greater, and he knows your heart. Trust him. Wake up. Open your eyes. Move forward. Keep your eyes open.



“You’ve got all that emotion that’s heaving like an ocean
And you’re drowning in a deep, dark well
I can hear it in your voice that if you only had a choice
You would rather be anyone else

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He made your precious heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

I know it’s hard to hear it when that anger in your spirit
Is pointed like an arrow at your chest
When the voices in your mind are anything but kind
And you can’t believe your Father knows best

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He’s shaping your heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Well how does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You can’t expect to be perfect
It’s a fight you’ve gotta forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

maybe we all have that one person that we’d always take back. bruised mouth, bloody ribs, you’re screaming at me and i’m taking it because no matter how bad it gets, there is always good to follow. and that’s what a lot of people don’t understand, the people who ask me why i can’t see the signs of an unhealthy relationship, why i can’t just walk away - that the good days outweigh the bad ones. i would walk away from you screaming one thousand times just to fall into your arms at the end of the night. i’ve learned how to catch your punches. i’ve learned how to find the beauty in pain. and i know: i should find happiness within myself or at least within people who are good for me, but i can’t help the way i feel and i can’t just leave something that makes me so happy. i will take you back until you literally throw me away.

When you’re trying to be positive

but tumblr can be one of the most negative places on earth

No I don’t read Hyrda!Cap

I don’t acknowlege Hydra!Cap

Until that storyline resolves to be something else….I won’t touch it with a 10ft pole.

you don't have to say ‘i love you’ to say ‘i love you’

instead, you could say….

  • there’s nothing to be ashamed of
  • it was really nice getting to know you. you seem…sympathetic
  • take what you need
  • you okay?
  • i think you’ve exerted yourself enough for one day
  • to us
  • i wanted to see you again
  • you’ve unlocked something in me
  • i-i wish i could- i just- i don’t know…
  • i understand
  • [you’re] quite magical
  • do what’s in your heart
  • may i? free of charge
  • if anything were to happen to you…
  • i thought i’d see how you were doing
  • i meant to thank you for your advice
  • i get it. you’re part of a “don’t ask, don’t tell” culture. i’m fine with it
  • so you get it?
  • you’ll be lonely all your life and so will she. neither of you deserve it. and i don’t either
  • i don’t know what to do with these… you keep them for me
  • what about love? even shadowhunters fall in love
  • you’re confusing me
  • confusion is part of it, that’s how you find out if something’s there
  • emotions are never black and white; they’re more like symptoms. you lose your breath every time they enter a room, your heart beats faster when they walk by, your skin tingles when you stand close enough to feel their breath
  • i know you feel what i feel
  • even if i did feel something for you…
  • [i thought “if i just follow the rules, everything’s gonna be fine”. and then you came along and pushed me off that path]
  • i’ll leave if [you] ask me to
  • i can’t breathe
  • you never cease to amaze me
  • i have to hand it to you, you certainly know how to make a statement
  • love? what? no… it’s-it’s eh… sort of a different- it’s not…
  • we still haven’t gone on our first date yet
  • you wanna… i don’t know, get a drink sometime?
  • i plan to get to know [you]
  • you watch the people you care about age and die
  • when things get crazy, don’t push me away
Take a Break

I’m taking a break from tumblr. Like I’m completely logging off and everything for a few days. Maybe longer.

Im having some bad mental health days and with that comes the idea that my art is the worst. I’m not improving as quickly as I’d like. I need to go back to traditional art for awhile, read some books, center myself. I am getting short tempered, stressed, and feeling like a really unpleasant person and I don’t want that to be who I am.

It also means, even though I just started it, I’m putting my ask blog on hold.

If you need to get in touch with me, I do have a twitter. I don’t post a lot on there and mostly follow funny twitter accounts and other art “blogs” but I do check it regularly. You can find me @Lozeyjones on twitter. 

I’ll reblog this once more for the day crowd but as of now I’m taking a vacation away from this site. I can’t handle much anymore.

Again, my twitter is @lozeyjones

I also check deviantart frequently (every day) so you can find me there as just Lozey.

I’m sorry I’ll be absent for awhile, but I do think that to feel better about myself and my art, I need to get off of this website to cool down and rethink things.

I hope everyone else is doing fine, however. I’ll just be on for the next 24 hours so if you need to let me know anything, tell me now or I won’t be able to get back to you for some time.

Thanks for understanding, and goodnight <3

anonymous asked:

Why are you so in love with science? (not meant in a bad way, I'm just curious)

I guess it’s because science just sort of makes sense to me, on a fundamental level.

The processes of science and scientific analysis are very in line with how I see the world and how I think. I’ve always been a very sort of analytic thinker. Like I was the kid who always had to know why and was always questioning everything and always tries to explain everything (to the point that I was, at time, a very obnoxious child). 

I like facts. I like seeing how things fit together. I like sorting through things and finding the bigger picture and then seeing how the individual details slot into it. 

It’s how I make sense of the world I guess. Trying to find an explanation for things I don’t understand. It’s why I was never good at being religious but am fascinated by the history of religion and how it creates and is created by society. 

And it goes beyond the purely natural and physical sciences. I feel similarly about the social sciences and history and anything that relies on critical analysis. 

On a fundamental level I want to know why. And science, at it’s core, is an attempt to answer that question. 

sorry

tumblr is not doing good things for me. well, that’s a lie. I’ve talked to some wonderful people and made some lovely friends. I’ve learned a lot and laughed a lot…..but the cons outweigh the pros. to me and my adhd, tumblr is basically crack. completely addicting. it’s interfering with my life and I’m not getting stuff done. being surrounded by posts about mental illness and discrimination in the lgbtq community and politics and stuff like that….is exhausting really, especially for someone with mental illnesses and disabilities like me. I guess what I’m trying to say is that adhd (and anemia cause that’s a way bigger problem than most people think) is a huge force in my life right now, and I need to save my spoons and take care of my self. I can’t lie on my bed and hyper focus on my phone for hours everyday anymore. so I’m taking a break. or at least a partial break. I’m mainly on mobile, so I’m deleting this damn app as soon as I finish this post and I’m gonna go do my makeup and go have some fun with my friends. I’m not staying home tonight, not again. I’m not missing out on life because my energy has all been drained reading negative posts on the Internet. I’ll keep up my queue and talk to my mutuals on my laptop, but I’m turning off my asks. (however submissions will stay open and will be greatly appreciated in order to keep my queue up) if I unfollow you, please don’t take it personally, I just need to keep myself from getting distracted and I need a dash that is free from shitposts and discourse. anyways. thank you for being such amazing, caring, understanding, patient and beautiful followers. and thank you for putting up with lil ‘ole me and my disabled ass. maybe when I get better I’ll be more active again.
xoxo, lots o love,
chewy

youtube

I have found my calling in life.  It is to promote this video. You all need to see this.

anonymous asked:

where's the dress

Hi. This is the behind the picture of the dress that was released (I think) from a Chinese Magazine (from my understanding) today or recently. 

It has the whole fandom confused. I’m just going to write out my thoughts and the theories floating around right now. 

Alternate Enchantress ending’ This I think is the most likely. From what my friends on here have heard, there was an alternate Enchantress ending where one of them was going to be what we saw in the movie, non-Joker and non-Harley get married and have kids. And the second version, which we didn’t see, was a Joker and Harley ‘happy’ ending where they get married. This all seems to check right? Well it doesn’t check off the bruise on her face. 

Did they get married after the chemical wedding scene?’ Possibly. But look at what she’s wearing around her neck and her tattoo. Yes, it’s possible that Joker gave her all these things as gifts right after the chemical wedding but… idk that doesn’t seem… you know? 

Her hair is like that at the end of the movie!!’ Yes, her hair is like that at the end of the movie, but again that doesn’t explain why there’s a huge bruise on her face. She didn’t have one at the end of Suicide Squad. I know Joker is unpredictable but something tells me he didn’t punch her in the face after their sweet reunion. Again, I don’t think so because from all the spoilers that leaked online from early screenings, the ending was always the same as the one we got. I mean the most difference I saw was some people said Joker and Harley kissed in the cage at the end but that is the only ‘change’ and I can’t even confirm if that kiss is true. 

Alternate dancing scene?’ This is the theory that I like the best right now, and is the most probable to me. That Harley was supposed to be wearing this dress in that mini montage scene after Joker does ECT on her. Maybe they scrapped the dress to put her in the original harlequin costume. But STILL THAT DOESN’T EXPLAIN THE BRUISE. HELP. I LIKE LOGIC. I DON’T LIKE TO BE LEFT IN THE DARK, DAVID AYER!

In conclusion, I don’t think they are legit married. Because that’s way too much commitment for the studio in the first movie out. Maybe WB realized this and told David Ayer to scrap the scene and never speak of it again lol. 

Thanks. 

4

Addicted appreciation week: day one x favorite character

The alien scenario sounds more like a Lily Calloway theory. I understand what Connor is implying. “You think she knows Jonathan’s her fucking father?”
    Lily suddenly appears from the stairs with a big bowl of popcorn, unable to see my clothing from her vantage point. “Are you guys making a Hale family Star Wars alternate universe?” She lowers her voice, mimicking Darth Vader, “Willow, I am your father.”
                                                                 No one laughs.
A popcorn kernel falls out of Lily’s mouth. “Waaaait…this wasn’t a joke?”

You know shit’s gone bad when even FOX NEWS is calling Trump a liar, calling him out on his deflections and double speak and discrediting the press. 

… it doesn’t even come close to questioning his policies and everything he’s done, but this has to mean something, doesn’t it?

And yet, my parents sit here, now calling what had been their holy grail news source just hours before ‘fake news’ just minutes after their president said so in a press conference. They are buying, hook line and sinker, every line that comes out of his mouth. 

“They just didn’t understand the question.”

“They just don’t understand what he meant.”

“They’re misquoting him.”

But they’re not. 

THIS is our primary problem with unquestioning Trump supporters. When everyone else around them, even conservative sources turn against Trump when he pulls this BS, they don’t see it as a reaction to a factual thing that happened. They jump through mental hoops, claiming that someone must have gotten to them. 

Try pointing out that the only stories Trump supports are those praising him while he calls anything that even slightly criticizes him ‘fake news’. They respond that it’s not a journalist’s job to question him. 

They too, become outraged that the media is attempting to do its job. They see no danger in the fact that Trump is attempting to discredit any information source that doesn’t come directly from him. 

Try to bring this up, and I’m told that I’ve been brainwashed by the liberal media.

Honey, someone’s been brainwashed, but it isn’t me. 

Imagine librarian!Woozi always looking around the library to see if you’re there because he has a slight crush on you. 

Hiccstrid’s moments are great! I am happy people somehow find the way to gif fave scenes!!! I am so busy to make posts (gifs) and also I don’t have the show with the good quality (1080p) yet. soooo I’will try to keep reblogging of course all spoilers!!!!!!!!!!! ALL SPOILERS !! and tagging them :) Kiss scenes are amazing! I can’t stop looking at them.. I want to see it again and again and again and AGAIN…omg I am a ship trash! 

Dub and Sub

 Both dub and sub are fine. I don’t understand all the hate going toward the dub, other than people aren’t okay with change and refuse to see the good that can come out of it. I personally like both the sub and dub but prefer the dub due to my dyslexia that I have battled with for my entire life. If you don’t know what dyslexia is it’s a reading disability that causes the brain to reverse letters and confuse words with others, sometimes you can’t even focus on the words and can only see the space in between. Watching the dub makes it easier for me to understand what’s going on and I know it’s the same for many other people. Don’t call people out for watching the dub because they could have reasons for it other than just being lazy.

Flowerfell

I’ve wanted to express my opinion on this ever since I found out about it, because it’s unfortunate to see things going this way.

So apparently, the creator of the Flowerfell AU has #ragequit after dealing with art theft. That’s unfortunate, but I understand. If you can’t handle dealing with art thieves it’s better to just privately share your work. It’s irritating, it’s frustrating, and some people aren’t emotionally equip to deal with having to contact site owners and etc. It’s even worse when people are profiting off of your work, but at least then you can threaten legal action and remove it faster (and possible make money).

That’s not really the issue.

The issue is the creator has demanded that people stop making artwork or anything Flowerfell related. 

“And now for those who claim to be fans that have not been aware or refuse to be aware of my final decision for everyone outside of my personally decided contributors […] to not touch my AU anymore. […] I would appreciate fanfictions and videos being removed, headcanons ended, online/convention merchandise and cosplays being stopped, and anything outside of digital/traditional visual fanart being cancelled at this point.” 

This is entirely selfish, childish and absolutely ridiculous.

Does the creator have any idea the work that is put into every fanfiction, video, cosplay and artwork? For her to ask people to permanently delete their art and to stop using an AU that was hardly even unique (c’mon, it’s an AU based off of an AU… you don’t own Underfell and certainly don’t own Undertale) just to satisfy some kind of a tantrum? 

Honestly, I have no sympathy for any backlash she’s getting at this point because this is the most absurd thing. People have put a lot of time into art, money into cosplays. She says for everything besides visual art should be deleted, meaning she doesn’t acknowledge how difficult it is to write. Literature is an artform and it takes a lot of work, so asking people to delete that just because you can’t emotionally handle art theft is so entirely selfish.

I stopped doing things with my Gurotale AU because I grew bored of it, it was just an excuse to do Guro stuff with a recognizable character but now that I have Boyfriend to Death I’m much more interested in that. If people still wanted to do art or fanfiction based off of this, I’d be flattered. If someone wanted to continue Gurotale and completely mangled their personalities, then eh. I’m just glad that they’re exercising creativity. If it was a character like Uru I might get a little confused, but it would be just like an AU version of him, not like it affects canon Uru.

It’s really sad to see people getting frustrated and leaving the fandom, but it’s even sadder to see them acting like children and policing people’s creativity, demanding them to delete things they worked hard on when the idea wasn’t even ‘original’ to begin with. Undertale was original, Underfell was based off that and Flowerfell was just Underfell with a flowercrown as far as I’m concerned. 

Originally posted by musical-gopher

Kuro’s birthday- observation

So we have this cute cute Kuro’s birthday art on official Servamp twitter source

And and do you understand?! I will explain…. Look at the other pictures for characters birthday, we had… 

See? Do you get know?! Kuro’s birthday pic is the first one to not be single character pic! It is more couple pic. :D Teheheh. Like Look Tsubaki has even present on his own pic… and what is the best present for Kuro? OF course spending birthday with his beloved Mahiru. :D And look Mahiru even feeding him! Awwwwwww.  It is so symbolic for me, like the best and the happiest birthday for Kuro are when he can just spend some warm, happy, clam time with Mahiru, like some old happy marriage. :D And just look at this loving look on Mahiru’s face… Aajhajhakjhaha He also want to make Kuro all happy. I guess Kuro’s birthday are exactly like this too. Like even if they will spend this with others friends, Kuro’s bros and etc… they will be like in their own happy world. Mahiru feeding Kuro with super yummy stuff, the fav of Kuro’s food (Mahiru will cook of course all of them,and will make super big cake for him :D) and they will be cuddling, and overall lazy around together (haha the fav activity of Kuro :D, and even more favorite when he can to cuddle to his boyfriend :D ) 

I’m really glad to have been wrong about Split (well, more like misled, the advertising paints a different picture) and I’ll tell you why.

What I’ve seen from tumblr and the small Split fandom in general is not fear for those of us with DID. I’ve seen childish “haha tumblr is so easily triggered! I’m edgy!!” posts here and there but the thoughtful posts vastly outnumber those. I see understanding and a willingness to learn. I’ve talked to more people about DID in the last week than I have in a long while, even on my DID sideblog.

I, and more importantly we, never felt comfortable talking about it on our main. We’ve had this account for over 5 years and have barely mentioned it. We felt ashamed, like people wouldn’t understand us, or think worse of us. But here we are talking openly about it and people are listening.

Thats one of the best things is people are listening. Split has brought attention to DID. Is there misinformation in the film? Sure. Is it dramatized? Yup. Does it put DID on a weird pedestal? To me, yes. But have people walked out feeling sympathy for Kevin and his system, wanting to learn more? Yes they have. I’ve yet to read a single post that says they are now more scared of systems after viewing the movie. And I think most people who view the film are mature enough to realize the supernatural aspect of the movie caused those events to occur, not the disorder itself.

I would love someday for there to be an excellent portrayal of DID as it actually is. Split was never meant to be that but the struggles Kevin, Barry, Hedwig, Dennis and Patricia go through (outside of the Beast) are something we can relate to. And if it gets even 10 people to look into DID and understand us we’ll take it.

Deep down I kinda want the anime to end quickly, so everything will fade away like it never happened, so I won’t have to see anymore of those goddamn “Yuuri is based on Yuzuru” posts and their predictions of the anime based on Yuzuru’s career. Good lord, seriously?

No matter how you look at it, they’re nothing alike. Appearance, maybe a tad bit, but career? It’s quite the opposite, and it’s not even hard to see it. Just stop. It’s the Grand Prix series and seeing posts like that popping up on my dashboard is super annoying. I like the anime; I watch it every Wednesday. I have nothing against it. However, fantasize all you want, but don’t tag Yuzuru Hanyu, please.

If you’re all wondering, Yuuri Katsuki is INSPIRED by Tatsuki Machida. It’s a fact, not a fans’ theory.